“My second mum and dad” - Grandparents Plus

Young people sought out
their grandparents at times
of family adversity
– When families were experiencing difficulties, young people sought
emotional and other support from their closest grandparent and this
support improved their well-being. Those without it had more adjustment
problems. The 1566 young people in the survey reported high levels of family
adversities that had had occurred in the last year: death in the family (36%),
saw a crime or accident (37%), mental health problems (14%), family member
had drug/alcohol problem (10%) even parents in trouble with the law (4%)
and parents in prison (2%). More than three quarters of the young people had
experienced two or more adversities in the last year and over one third (37%)
had experienced five or more. Young people were significantly more likely to
talk about their problems with their closest grandparent when they were under
pressure from multiple family adversities (5+); likewise in these situations they
were more likely to share things with closest grandparent that they would not
share with parents. Closeness to a grandparent at times of family adversity
appeared to protect children from adjustment problems.
But parents were
often the gatekeepers
– The grandparental relationship with the parents was critical in ensuring
an ongoing relationship with grandchildren. Most grandparents had good
relationships with parents. Positive relationships were generally associated
with living locally (more than two thirds of the grandparents lived in the same
town or within 10 miles). More than a quarter of maternal grandparents were
still working but this did not impact on the relationship with parents. The
strongest factor impacting on the grandparent-parent relationship was whether
or not grandparents had divorced. Generally parents had significantly poorer
relationships with divorced grandparents.
– Divorce in either parents’ or grandparents’ relationships had a negative
impact on whether grandchildren were actively encouraged to keep in
contact. Children whose parents had divorced were less likely to be encouraged
to maintain contact with paternal grandparents (Dad’s mum and dad), whilst
those with divorced grandparents were less likely to be in contact with their
(separated) grandfathers (Mum’s dad or Dad’s dad).
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