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September - GGC BMW CCA

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<strong>BMW</strong> Sauber’s Frere Jacques Villeneuve<br />

rushes to an early nap with a crash at Turn 7<br />

in Montreal.<br />

Grand Prix. The highlight of the coverage is a one-on-one interview<br />

with Renault’s Fernando Alonso.<br />

Reporter: “Fernando, what scares you?”<br />

Alonso: “Spiders.”<br />

Reporter: “Spiders? That’s it?”<br />

Alonso: “Yes. Spiders.”<br />

The Spaniard’s so, humble demeanor and self-deprecating humor<br />

is a nice change from some… shall we say… other champion<br />

F1 drivers. And for the record, Fernando, I’m scared of spiders, too.<br />

The next morning we board a (very small) plane to Indianapolis.<br />

Upon landing, we taxi past several private jets lined up on the<br />

tarmac, the largest of which bears the initials “MS.” It’s Saturday,<br />

and the drivers are already at the track preparing for qualifying.<br />

We claim our luggage and pick up our rental car (there is certainly<br />

no Metro here). As we drive toward the Indianapolis Motor<br />

Speedway, we survey the flat, sprawling landscape. A brown haze<br />

hangs in the air as we make our way from Highway 465 to Crawfordsville<br />

Road. Residents of the Brickyard’s nearby houses sit or<br />

stand outside with handmade signs:<br />

“Park in our yard - $20”<br />

“Only 6 blocks away for $15”<br />

“Leave yer car here, $25”<br />

American capitalism at its finest.<br />

We continue past the budding entrepreneurs<br />

and into one of the Speedway’s<br />

parking lots. I climb out and look<br />

around. We’re standing in a sea of dirt,<br />

asphalt, and damn big trucks.<br />

We cross the road to the track entrance<br />

and are immediately directed to<br />

the security table for a bag search and<br />

pat-down. Welcome back home.<br />

Seating for qualifying is general<br />

admission. We wander the footpaths<br />

near the paddock in search of a primo<br />

viewing area and are astounded to see<br />

rows of empty stands. Entire sections<br />

are chained off near Start/Finish.<br />

We sele in on a waist-high wall perpendicular to the pit lane,<br />

just to the le of the garages. A few cigaree-smoking, tank-topclad<br />

aendees mill about nearby. Later, I determine these folks<br />

must have been NASCAR scouts come to scope out Juan Pablo<br />

Montoya (the hot-headed Columbian driver announced his move<br />

to the ever-circular series the following week).<br />

Donovan pulls out his Canon 20D and within seconds, he’s<br />

aracted the aention of every nearby spectator. Our new friends<br />

offer unsolicited advice on everything from which team to root<br />

for to which camera Donovan should have bought. Donovan<br />

handles it by firmly installing his earplugs and pretending<br />

he can’t hear anyone, leaving me to fend for myself.<br />

Aer qualifying, we walk over to one of the jumbo<br />

video screens to watch the press conference. As usual, the<br />

interview concludes with each driver saying a few words in<br />

his native language. The nearby spectators are apparently<br />

unfamiliar with this tradition, as one particularly offended<br />

aendee hurls an empty beer can across the grass toward<br />

the screen as Renault’s Giancarlo Fisichella addresses his<br />

countrymen in Italian.<br />

“Speak English!” the spectator bellows from beneath his<br />

Budweiser-branded tent. Like-minded tent-dwelling neighbors<br />

respond with cheers. Suddenly, I miss the annoying<br />

Renault makeout couple from Montreal.<br />

Later that evening, we recount our observations to our<br />

host, whose theory is that the less-than stellar turnout is a<br />

direct result of too lile U.S. involvement in Formula One.<br />

“American’s won’t pay aention to F1 until there are more<br />

American drivers,” he says.<br />

But we have Sco Speed!<br />

Race day draws a far bigger crowd, but there are still plenty of<br />

empty seats. Many people look like locals who turn up for every<br />

race, regardless of who’s on the grid.<br />

Being health-conscious poses a problem in this neck of the<br />

woods. Instead of the veggie wraps and grilled salads we enjoyed<br />

in Montreal, our lunch choices consist of hamburgers, hot dogs, or<br />

“tenderloin”—which, I learn from a curt concession-stand worker,<br />

is a hunk of breaded, deep-fried pork. This is all especially disappointing<br />

aer watching the Speed TV commentators brag about<br />

how the teams’ private chefs compete to see who can create the<br />

most impressive meals.<br />

Although there is no planned mass exodus this year, Indy repeats<br />

history in other respects: The Ferraris dominate the podium<br />

and the teams using Michelin tires struggle. Michael Schumacher<br />

makes history (again) by becoming the first driver in any series to<br />

win five times at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway. Both <strong>BMW</strong>-<br />

Sauber drivers fail to finish the race, providing even more fodder<br />

for those who keep wondering where all that <strong>BMW</strong> money goes.<br />

And poor Sco Speed; the Manteca, California, native retires aer<br />

tangling with six other cars in a crash in the first lap.<br />

The only blue on the podium is third-place-winner Giancarlo<br />

Fisichella, who concedes that his team’s tires have failed to perform<br />

as well as the “Bridgeystones.” Fernando<br />

Alonso finishes an unimpressive<br />

fih -- rumor has it that Schumacher was<br />

spoed in an Indianapolis pet store the<br />

night before in search of tarantulas. And<br />

no, we most definitely do not get to walk<br />

on the track aer the race. I do, however,<br />

score a scrap of carbon fiber that flies off<br />

one of the cars when it crashes.<br />

The fate of the U.S. Grand Prix is<br />

still up in the air. Formula One boss<br />

Bernie Ecclestone has said the series<br />

doesn’t need a race in America. And a<br />

rumoredri between the Indy folks<br />

<strong>BMW</strong>’s Jacques<br />

Villeneuve battled to<br />

finish for points at Indy.<br />

The drivers’ parade: Michael Schumacher waves to the<br />

Indianapolis crowd while Masa scowls at the lack of good<br />

Brazilian food in town.<br />

and Bernie’s camp delayed<br />

the two sides from coming<br />

to an agreement until mid-<br />

August, when they extended<br />

the current contract by<br />

only one year.<br />

I can’t say I’d miss an<br />

Indy-based F1 race. Some<br />

of the drivers feel the same<br />

way. Ralf Schumacher<br />

was quoted in an article<br />

on F1racing.com, saying,<br />

“I hope we won’t come<br />

back there… I don’t think<br />

Formula One belongs in<br />

Indianapolis.” And upon<br />

our leaving Indy at 7:00 a.m.<br />

Monday morning, all those private planes previously lined<br />

up on the runway are conspicuously missing. Apparently they<br />

have beer seafood restaurants to visit.<br />

Personally, I’d like to see a new track built somewhere in<br />

the country specifically to F1 specifications. Las Vegas and the<br />

Parading in a rare <strong>BMW</strong> 327 cabrio: <strong>BMW</strong>-Sauber’s “Quick”<br />

Nick Heidfeld and Jacques Villeneuve at the US Grand Prix.<br />

*For those of you who, like me, also have no idea who Tara Reid is, here’s an excerpt from<br />

Bernie “Good To Be The King” Ecclestone, in the Canadian<br />

GP safety car, counting the money in every spectator’s pocket.<br />

Utah salt flats are oen<br />

mentioned as potentially<br />

successful sites. That would<br />

be fine by me, although I<br />

sometimes fantasize about a<br />

U.S. Grand Prix at Laguna<br />

Seca. Decibel limit be<br />

damned!<br />

No maer what the<br />

future of F1, I am infinitely<br />

grateful for my experiences<br />

this summer. The memories<br />

of my first F1 pilgrimage<br />

are forever etched in<br />

my brain. They transcend<br />

contract changes, tire exclusivity<br />

deals, and political<br />

squabbles. And yes—maybe even arachnophobia.<br />

Laura Burstein is a reporter and consultant with more than a decade<br />

of experience in radio, television, and publishing. Laura’s primary<br />

focus is on cars and automotive technology. She is currently a freelance<br />

writer for CNET’s Car Tech channel. Her weekends are oen spent participating<br />

in car control clinics and high-performance driving schools.<br />

Renault’s World Champion Fernando Alonso looking for some grip in Indianapolis.<br />

AskMen.com: “Why is she famous? Tara Reid is one of Hollywood’s hot young actresses,<br />

14 <strong>September</strong> 2006 die flüsternde Bombe<br />

having appeared in American Pie, Urban Legend, and Van Wilder. She made headlines in<br />

<strong>September</strong> 2006 die flüsternde Bombe<br />

15<br />

November 2004 when pictures of her exposed nipple were posted on the Internet.” - kk

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