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Women's Narratives of Healing from the Effects of Child Sexual Abuse

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<strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> o<strong>the</strong>r research participant’s stories, <strong>the</strong>re is inherently a distancing on <strong>the</strong> part<br />

<strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> researcher <strong>from</strong> <strong>the</strong> storyteller, <strong>the</strong> research participant. As much as possible,<br />

this was mitigated by particular methods, such as including my body in <strong>the</strong> text, and<br />

using longer quotes that ensure au<strong>the</strong>nticity and immediacy, ra<strong>the</strong>r than distancing, <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong><br />

research participant’s voice and meaning. By locating myself and my position as researcher,<br />

student, and pr<strong>of</strong>essional in <strong>the</strong> field, I entered into <strong>the</strong> discourse as a participant, not as<br />

a disembodied o<strong>the</strong>r. I narrated <strong>the</strong> stories as heard by me, <strong>the</strong> narrator. My story enters<br />

as a presence, a filter and as a context provider. The story is re- and co-created within<br />

<strong>the</strong> relationship among <strong>the</strong> teller, <strong>the</strong> research participant, and <strong>the</strong> listener, <strong>the</strong> research<br />

investigator. I have, in this dissertation, created my own story, and it is my own story that<br />

contextualizes <strong>the</strong>ir stories.<br />

A concern with a narrative approach is that while story and story telling, grounded in<br />

narratives, is a powerful method because it can respond to complex issues, <strong>the</strong> complexity<br />

<strong>of</strong> our structure <strong>of</strong> patriarchy is embodied in <strong>the</strong> story. Bloom suggests that by telling her<br />

story, she may replicate <strong>the</strong> structure she is immersed in, possibly re-creating <strong>the</strong> underlying<br />

cultural practice <strong>of</strong> patriarchy, hegemonically reproducing “structures <strong>of</strong> domination ra<strong>the</strong>r<br />

than liberate women <strong>from</strong> cultural silence.” 64 I addressed this concern as much as I could as<br />

one who lives in <strong>the</strong> same structure <strong>of</strong> patriarchy, by being mindful <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> risk throughout<br />

<strong>the</strong> research process and by considering <strong>the</strong> stories, and my analysis <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> stories, in light<br />

<strong>of</strong> a feminist framework. It was this process that led me to consider Bloom’s discussion on<br />

<strong>the</strong> endings <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> women’s narratives <strong>from</strong> <strong>the</strong> perspective <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> master narrative.<br />

An example <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> hegemonic reproduction <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> structure <strong>of</strong> domination is reflected<br />

in a challenge I experienced with <strong>the</strong> notion <strong>of</strong> ownership <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> sexual abuse experience. In<br />

my work, many <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> women I worked with who were sexually abused, and <strong>the</strong> pr<strong>of</strong>essionals<br />

who supported <strong>the</strong> women who were sexually abused, referred to <strong>the</strong> experiences <strong>of</strong> sexual<br />

abuse possessively, for example, “Her abuse is interfering,” or “I want to heal <strong>from</strong> my<br />

abuse.” The question <strong>of</strong> who owns <strong>the</strong> acts <strong>of</strong> sexual abuse emerged as an important<br />

consideration in <strong>the</strong> research. In <strong>the</strong> process <strong>of</strong> writing up <strong>the</strong> findings and in my discussion<br />

about <strong>the</strong> findings <strong>from</strong> <strong>the</strong> research, I found myself having to watch what I wrote, in order<br />

to ensure that I did not write statements like “because she wanted to heal <strong>from</strong> her abuse”<br />

or “she felt her abuse in her body.” There were times when I felt, physically, <strong>the</strong> difficulty<br />

<strong>of</strong> enunciating in written form, ownership <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> abuse that occurred. It was as if, in <strong>the</strong><br />

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