Moving money - Carolina Weekly Newspapers
Moving money - Carolina Weekly Newspapers
Moving money - Carolina Weekly Newspapers
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He’s not planning<br />
on fooling around<br />
I have lots of friends who call things<br />
to my attention that they think might<br />
amuse or inspire me as I crank out this<br />
cantankerous column each week.<br />
One of my best sources wrote to tell<br />
me about the death of the oldest person<br />
in the world. She died Sept. 11 in<br />
Los Angeles. Her name was Gertrude<br />
Baines, and she was 115 years old. I did<br />
a little research<br />
southern fried and found that<br />
preacher she was born on<br />
April 6, 1894, in<br />
Shellman, Ga. Her<br />
grandparents were<br />
slaves. I found a<br />
picture that shows<br />
her as a handsome<br />
woman who looks<br />
younger than me.<br />
harold<br />
bales<br />
Guinness World<br />
Records released<br />
the announcement<br />
of her death.<br />
She received a letter from President<br />
Obama. She voted for him in 2008 and<br />
said she planned to vote for him again in<br />
News<br />
your life. I asked my old buddy Cicero<br />
Fudd about it. He has always had an<br />
old, worn-out car or two jacked up on<br />
blocks in his front yard.<br />
I said, “Cis, you’ve been fooling around<br />
with old cars most of your life. Some really<br />
old folk say one reason they’ve lived a<br />
long time is that they didn’t fool around.<br />
You’ve lived a long time. What do you<br />
make of what they’re saying?”<br />
He wiped his oily hands on his T-<br />
shirt, spat a stream of tobacco juice<br />
into an old upturned hubcap and said,<br />
“Preacher, they ain’t talking about fixin’<br />
broke down cars.” So I pressed him,<br />
“Well, what are they talking about?” He<br />
mumbled something like “too personal<br />
a thing to discuss with a preacher.”<br />
About then, his wife, Delilah, walked<br />
out on the porch and got a dish of butter<br />
out of the refrigerator. So I asked<br />
her, “Why would folk who fool around<br />
tend to live shorter lives than those who<br />
don’t?”<br />
As she turned to go back inside, she<br />
said, “I reckon a lot of them would<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
• Charloe<br />
get shot<br />
Pipe &<br />
by<br />
Foundry<br />
their<br />
Co.<br />
jealous<br />
•<br />
wives<br />
Michael<br />
or<br />
J. Kavanagh,<br />
husbands.”<br />
and Equipment Rental • Essex Richards<br />
CFP<br />
2012. How’s that for optimism? • Chair<br />
She lived alone until she was 105. and Sales, I am Inc. figuring out that “fooling • Merancas around” Foundation<br />
She enjoyed bacon and eggs and had • Kemp has Construction, a larger, more Inc. serious • meaning Topics Education than<br />
few complaints except when her bacon tinkering with old cars. I think a good<br />
was not crispy enough.<br />
policy for living a long life would at least<br />
Her doctor reported she attributed include the simple principle: Don’t do<br />
her longevity to the Lord and because anything that might provoke your mate<br />
she “never did drink, never did smoke to jealousy, especially if he or she has a<br />
and never did fool around.”<br />
license to own a firearm.<br />
I wish I could have known Gertrude Also, folks should be careful about<br />
Baines. I’ve known lots of people who boozing and smoking. And while Gertrude<br />
Baines preferred a diet of bacon<br />
lived to a great age, and I asked most<br />
of them “What enabled you to live so and eggs, I suppose the rest of us who<br />
long?”<br />
want to live longer need to go easy on<br />
More often than not, they replied with that, too.<br />
some version of, “I don’t smoke, and I Ms. Baines also credited the Lord for<br />
don’t drink, and I don’t fool around.” her longevity. I’m pretty sure we can be<br />
Which begs the question: Why is the safe in saying the Lord is the main cause<br />
common idea that “fooling around” is a of our good lives, whether long or short.<br />
threat to long life?<br />
That’s what I’m counting on anyway.<br />
I decided to conduct an unscientific<br />
survey to get to the bottom of this Reach Harold Bales through his Web site,<br />
idea that “fooling around” will shorten www.southern-fried-preacher.com.<br />
Every step makes difference!<br />
Every step makes a difference!<br />
Easter Seals<br />
UCP North <strong>Carolina</strong><br />
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Presenting Sponsor Founding Sponsor Regional Sponsor<br />
Local Sponsors<br />
• Charloe Pipe & Foundry Co.<br />
• Chair and Equipment Rental<br />
and Sales, Inc.<br />
• Kemp Construction, Inc.<br />
• Charloe Pipe & Foundry Co.<br />
• Chair and Equipment Rental<br />
and Sales, Inc.<br />
• Kemp Construction, Inc.<br />
Local Sponsors<br />
October 4th, 4:30 PM<br />
The Blessing of the Animals<br />
Ice cream for kids and kibble for the rest.<br />
Local Sponsors<br />
Local Sponsors<br />
• Michael J. Kavanagh, CFP • Benefit Controls of the<br />
• Charloe Pipe • Essex & Foundry Richards Co. • Michael <strong>Carolina</strong>s, J. Kavanagh, Inc. CFP<br />
• Merancas Foundation<br />
• Cranford, Schultze, Tomchin<br />
• Chair and Equipment Rental • Essex Richards<br />
• Topics Education<br />
& Allen, P.A.<br />
and Sales, Inc. • Michael J. Kavanagh, CFP • Merancas • Benefit Foundation<br />
Controls of the<br />
• Kemp Benefit Construction, Controls • Essex of Richards the Inc.<br />
• Topics PSC, <strong>Carolina</strong>s, Inc. Education Inc.<br />
<strong>Carolina</strong>s, Inc. • Merancas Foundation • Snug • Cranford, Seat, Inc. Schultze, Tomchin<br />
• Topics Education<br />
& Allen, P.A.<br />
• Cranford, Schultze, Tomchin • Cantina 1511<br />
& Allen, P.A.<br />
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• Snug Seat, & Allen, Inc. P.A.<br />
• Cantina 1511<br />
October 10th, 8am-12 Noon<br />
Yard sale to benefit Parish retreat.<br />
Services: Spa Packages • Special Holiday Packages<br />
Hot Stone Massages • Hot Stone Facials<br />
Couples Packages • Spa Manicures • Spa Pedicures<br />
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704-987-0006 • WWW.SAPPHIRESPA.COM<br />
October 31st, 3:30p-6:00p<br />
Halloween on the Hill<br />
featuring guessing jars, trick or trunk<br />
and treats for all.<br />
“Building Community – Living the Way of Christ”<br />
8600 Mt. Holly-Huntersville Rd. • Phone 704-399-5193<br />
www.huntersvilleherald.com The Herald <strong>Weekly</strong> • Oct. 2-8, 2009 • Page 21