LLP-108 The Underground Model by Jean Sifton ... - OpenDrive

confide in someone ... someone who's really sympathetic and only wants to help you."
Jennifer crawled up to the front of the bed and positioned herself next to Patricia like a small child
seeking comfort from her mother after a bad nightmare. "My story," she began, her eyes staring fixedly
across the room ... "is as old as time itself ... I loved and lost. Only there is one slight difference: the
person I loved and who rejected me happened to be another woman."
Patricia froze! A strange, sinking feeling ... like the first downward dip on a roller coaster churned inside
her stomach. But there was nothing she could do about her position, after all, it was she who urged
Jennifer to tell her her problems, and she had to stick it out now, or the older girl would never have faith
in anyone ... ever again.
She continued to listen breathlessly as Jennifer related, in brief, unemotional terms, the facts of her first
love affair, a growing curiosity awakening in her as she looked down at the older girl and realized that
she had known the intimate caresses of another member of her own sex.
Patricia herself had never, so far as she was aware, ever met a lesbian before now. Certainly, she had
never been approached by another girl or even felt the slightest desire to experiment with bodies
identical to her own. But gradually, as Jennifer's voice calmly narrated her early experiences, Patricia
could feel a slowly mounting interest in such strange pleasures. It was as if she were a small child again,
becoming aware that there existed certain mysterious areas of behavior which, up to the present, had
been completely forbidden to her.
She lowered her eyes and tried to hide the spark of growing excitement within her as Jennifer told her of
the earlier painful experiences she had endured as a young girl. When Jennifer was fifteen, she had fallen
helplessly and totally in love with a much older girl, who, in return, had merely used her as an instrument
of pleasure. Jennifer found out later that she meant nothing more to the lesbian than a soft, exciting body
which she could use and instruct in the secret delight of Sapphic love.
When the older girl had finally tired of her and gone on to convert another "fresh" inexperienced novice,
Jennifer let herself go completely, and even to this day had never been able to shake off the memory of
that first, gloriously fulfilling love affair. Over the years that followed, she had gradually integrated herself
successfully with the more liberal, arty, types of Manhattan Beach, knowing that these people would not
chastise her for the way that she chose to live.
"... But don't think I'm completely homosexual," Jennifer finished. "This may sound a bit strange to you,
but I like men just as much as girls. You're so young now you might not understand what I'm saying right
now, but to me ... affairs aren't that enduring. You go to bed, enjoy sex with another person ... man or
woman, and in the bright light of day that follows, you still know nothing at all about their inner feelings.
It's all for the pleasure of flesh, and releasing your physical needs and when your current interest begins
to fade, there's always someone else to fill the vacancy." Jennifer's voice broke and a stifled sob
escaped, softening the bitter tone of her voice.
On sudden impulse, Patricia moved her hand almost instinctively to Jennifer's head and started to stroke
her hair gently, not saying anything, just trying to show her that she sympathized and understood. There
was no other way to show the older girl how deeply she regretted the bitter disillusions and suffering that
she must have gone through in the past years.
Jennifer turned and for the first time during the long discussion, looked deeply into Patricia's eyes. "Can
you understand me Pat? Can you understand how I got the way I am today?" Her eyes were full of
misery as she reached her hand up to the side of Patricia's face and gently brushed her fingers across the
soft, firm flesh in a light caress.