September 08 - Pacific San Diego Magazine

LOVE
drive
The Food Dude and a fabulous fashionista
hit the road for a night OUT in Little Italy
Blue
photos by greg ramirez
test
Rocket car:
Rent a Rocket Car or
buy a scooter from
San Diego Scooter
and Cycle Supply.
Two Pacific
Beach locations:
1400 Garnet Ave.,
1880 Grand Ave.
858.829.2316
scooterandcycle.com
Searching for a perfect date is like hunting for the perfect
car. It’s important to find the right body style and make sure
the vehicle is equipped with the best options for a smooth
ride. And you’d better check out the repair history, especially
on older models, or you may end up failing a smog test.
Luckily for tonight’s blind daters, no one will be pressured to
sign a 24-to-36-month lease this evening. Instead, Kevin and
Suzannah just need to kick the tires, enjoy an action-packed
test drive… and maybe take a quick peek under the hood.
Before the ride begins, let’s meet the drivers and check the
Book values for their vehicles.
Driver: Suzannah Stolba
Address: Condo in University City
DOB: 5/3/1981
Eyes: Blue
Hair: Blonde
Height: 5’5”
Weight: 113
Organ Donor: Yes
Driver: Kevin “Food Dude” Roberts
Address: Plush downtown condo
DOB: No comment
Eyes: Brown
Hair: Brown
Height: 5’10”
Weight: 165
Organ Donor: Yes
SPECS: Manufactured in D.C. and on the market for six months, this 1981 model is
the founder of Fresh Karat, a bi-coastal fashion accessory brand. Perfect exterior,
well maintained interior, low mileage, high-performance hybrid engine. This limited
Southern California-chic edition comes factory-equipped with a competitive, entrepreneurial
spirit. Frequently valets at Ivy, Stingaree, Jack’s La Jolla. Supreme handling
in traffic, but enjoys having the road to herself. Loves to laugh, cook, travel, workout,
hike with the dog. Serial monogamist with proven ability to stay on course. Horrendous
driving skills have resulted in multiple moving violations, fender benders.
CO-PILOT: Engine purrs for ambitious, fun-loving guys comfortable in their own skin;
sputters for pretentiousness, those trying to be something they are not. Passengers
must have enough miles to be ready to settle down, start a family, find house with
two-car garage. Price: available upon request.
SPECS: Single hardworking, Los Angeles-native, living his dream as TV chef, cookbook
author, radio personality and owner of East Village Tavern & Bowl. Automatic
transmission, on the market for five months, 100,000 miles but runs like new. Fast
and furious driver, often parks at Oceanaire, Neighborhood, Firehouse. Exterior is
in mint condition; interior is warm, fuzzy and spacious. Tenacious outlook on life,
proficient at cooking and eating, values family above all else. Radio presets locked
to 933, because he’s live on-air each week. Runs on high-octane fun and romance,
lifetime supply included.
CO-PILOT: Passengers must be educated and independent with sense of humor
and East Coast mentality—blunt, to the point, no bulls#!tting around. Engine roars
when women eat his food, stalls when they don’t. Personal credo: “Eat well, drink
well, love well, live well.” Available for inspection. Priceless, OBO.
START YOUR ENGINES
As the test drive begins, Kevin takes the wheel of a Rocket Car, and the daters approach Mach 1 (they approach it, but never actually get passed 20 mph) as they cruise south along
the harbor from the northern tip of Harbor Island. The first pit stop is Little Italy Spaghetteria, where the daters turn over their keys and park at the bar for pre-dinner champagne.
46 | SEPTEMBER 2008 « PACIFICsandiego.com
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