currents - Pacific San Diego Magazine

editor’s note
BY DAVID PERLOFF
“Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, ‘No, thank you,’
to dessert that night. And for what!” —Erma Bombeck
My grandmother turns 102 on January 25. No
sh!t. No blood relation, of course—it’s my
stepmom’s mom. If there were one, she’d have
checked out decades ago.
I’ve mentioned Ruth before. She rode a
horse to college and didn’t see a car until she
was 15. Her first boyfriend was a guy named Ben. They flew a kite
together in a thunderstorm and discovered electricity.
Ruth’s one tough cookie. She was speed-walking down a hill last
week when the brakes went out on her walker. No joke. Or maybe
she didn’t squeeze the thing hard enough. Either way, she jackknifed
and hit the pavement, breaking three ribs, one collarbone and one
hip. Knocked her head, too. Poor thing. My stepmother watched the
incident transpire in slow-mo and feels guilty as hell about it.
“I feel like I broke my Mom,” she said. She had been walking right
behind Ruth at the time, and when she told me about it, she sounded
as if she were going to cry, which is out of character. She’s tough, too.
(Katharine, it ain’t your fault. If you can stop gravity, I have a couple
other things for you to come take a look at.)
You must have seen that “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” chick on
TV. She’s like 80 years old and stranded in the middle of her living
room floor. I’m not trying to make light of her situation; I’m just
saying—compared to Ruth, she’s a complete wuss. Ruth could kick
LifeAlert chick’s ass with one hand tied behind her cracked ribs.
Now, seven days after the fall, despite the ribs, the collarbone,
even the hip, Ruth is already walking around. She’s bored out her
crystal-clear mind in the hospital room and doesn’t understand why
the doctors won’t let her go home today. Actually, they probably will
tomorrow—Christmas Day.
Ruth is my hero. She doesn’t make resolutions. She just plain is
resolute.
“F#ck carpe diem,” she says. “I’m living for this instant.”
Kidding. She would never talk like that. (Sorry, Gran, couldn’t resist.)
But, regardless of how she would describe it, when I see how Ruth reacts
to a smile, a hug, a sunset, I can envision the man I want to become.
Resolutions are for old ladies who forgot to buy their emergencybutton
necklaces. If you were to ask Ruth, she’d tell you not to
promise yourself to be a better person tomorrow. She’d tell you to
go outside, smile at someone, share some love and improve your
surroundings before the second hand hits the 12 again. Don’t wait,
do it now! (Remember, this is Ruth talking. I’m still just sitting here,
typing, trying to count how many Santa cookies I’ve eaten. I really
need to start cutting down on desserts.)
Carpe momento, San Diego. Love you guys for making PacificSD
what it is today—the city’s most popular magazine. I’m so happy to
be with you as we enter our fifth year together.
And happy birthday, Gran. My gift to you—new brakes. Let’s
resolve to sue whomever made that damn walker you’ve been rolling
around on.
David Perloff, Editor-In-Chief
(Ardo, I can’t believe you
read this crap. I swear, it’s
just you and my mom.)
We have a winner! It’s you!
Every day in 2010, PacificSD lovers won
$50 gift certificates—and then some. In fact,
the world’s most adored group of magazine
readers won just over $23,400 in bar tabs,
gourmet dinners, concert tickets, VIP passes,
clothing, spa services, laser treatments (‘cause
that tattoo just had to go) and so much more.
The love shower continues throughout 2011.
In January, PacificSD is giving away more
than 450 cheeseburgers (see page 52 for the
Click yourself the prize of the day at
yummy details on that), hot event tickets and
facebook.com/pacificsd. Thanks for playing from
gift certificates to these generous sponsors:
PacificSD, the magazine that loves you back.
Happy 2011, guys! To match
your unwavering sexiness, we’ve
overhauled PacificSD’s look for
the New Year, making it easier
to navigate and more fun to
read. Hope you like!
LOOKING
MAHHHVELOUS
6 pacificsandiego.com {January 2011}