October/November 2012 Timaru Tots - Parents Centres New ...

TIMARU TOTS PAGE 22
I am a toddler
If it's on, I must turn it off.
f it's off, I must turn it on.
If it's folded, I must unfold it.
If it's high, it must be reached.
If it's shelved, it must be unshelved.
If it has leaves, they must be picked.
If it's plugged, it must be unplugged.
If it's not trash, it must be thrown away.
If it's in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on the floor.
If it's closed, it must be opened.
If it doesn't open, it must be screamed at.
If it's a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator, computer monitor, or table.
If it's full, it will be more interesting emptied.
If it's a pushchair, it must under no circumstances be ridden in without protest. It must be pushed by
me instead.
If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.
If mummy's hands are full, I must be carried.
If mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.
If it's paper, it must be torn.
If it has buttons, they must be pressed.
If the volume is low, it must go high.
If it's toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the floor.
If it's YOUR toothbrush, it must be inserted into MY mouth.
If it's MY toothbrush, it must be inserted into YOUR mouth.
If it has a tap, it must be turned on at full force.
If it's a phone, I must talk into it.
If it's dry, it must be made wet with drool, milk, or toilet water.
If it has a tail, I must yank it.
If Mummy wants me to come, I must run away.
If Mummy wants me to go away, I must CLING ON FOR DEAR LIFE! AQWJF
If it's stacked up, it must be knocked down.
If it's sticky, it must go in my hair.
If it's bath time, I must run around naked till I am caught!
If it is a doll, it must not wear clothes.
If it is Mummy or Daddy, it must be hugged.
I am a Toddler!