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Pain and anguish—and bliss
One HIV-positive woman’s story of her pregnancy by Lynn
My name is Lynn and I’m HIV-positive. I never would
have imagined giving birth at the age of 39. Not to
mention my health status. I don’t exercise regularly
like I should. However, I eat healthy, meditate, do holistic
therapies, and am very spiritual. From what I experienced, it is
possible nowadays for an HIV-positive woman to give birth and
not transfer the disease to the baby. But not without great pain
and anguish. I was astonished.
The Oak Tree Clinic played a very important role during
my pregnancy. All their hard work and recommendations were
amazing. Upon deciding to have a baby, I spoke with three
obstetricians, a paediatrician, a gynaecologist, a dietitian, two
pharmacists—even the receptionists. One of the doctors
explained that the rate of mother-to-child transmission was
down to one percent, and the fact that only one patient at Oak
Tree had given birth to an HIV-positive baby in the last 15 years.
I was still skeptical and my mind was racing to seek further
knowledge. There must be other risk factors, I thought. Yes,
there were, but there were ways to reduce them, such as totally
complying with my medicine regime to lower my viral load and
raise CD4 count. And having a caesarean section.
Everything was going good until the third month of my
pregnancy. I developed cholestasis, which is an overproduction of
bile that flows into the skin and causes severe itchiness. It’s the
most annoying, aggravating condition I ever experienced. I couldn’t
sleep in any one position for long and suffered from chronic
insomnia, anxiety, and depression. Then I got hypertension—
my blood pressure was so high, I was bedridden at home with
nurses coming in to do checkups. The cholestasis and hypertension
became critical to the life of the fetus and my own life.
I stuck to a strict regime of HIV medications at the proper
time each day. I had to take vitamins K, C, E, calcium, plus I
had meds for cholestasis to reduce the itching. Taking meds
and vitamins took up a lot of my day. It was quite rigorous. I
took HIV meds with breakfast, vitamins with lunch, cholestasis
and anxiety meds at dinner, then HIV meds again at bedtime.
Plus two daily baths to ease the itchiness. That was the only
time I got out of bed, due to my high blood pressure.
Eventually I was hospitalized. I had chronic insomnia, so I
walked around the hospital halls a lot. The straps wrapped
around my tummy to monitor the fetus’s heartbeat were so
aggravating to my skin that the nurses and I developed a
strategy where I would hold the instruments myself. But I
could only stand the straps for 15 minutes whether they got
their measurements or not, otherwise I’d have a panic attack.
My blood pressure would rise, which was also detrimental to
the fetus. So the nurses would have to stop and try again later.
It was a very distressing and aggravating pregnancy. Not the
usual happy, shiny hair, glowing cheeks, shining and bright
pregnancy. No way.
Taking meds and vitamins took
up a lot of my day. I took HIV
meds with breakfast, vitamins
with lunch, cholestasis and
anxiety meds at dinner, then
HIV meds again at bedtime.
I was hospitalized for eight weeks in total. The emotional
fear was excruciating; I was scared for my fetus. By 36 weeks I
couldn’t take the itchiness. I broke down and cried to the
nurses. I prayed to Great Spirit to help me, and one hour later
my water broke.
After my baby girl was born, my pure blessing, she had to
take AZT for six weeks as a precaution, and then get a blood
test again. Waiting is nerve-wracking. I brought my baby girl to
Oak Tree to show everyone, I am such a proud mother.
Oak Tree took very good care of us, physically, mentally,
and emotionally, and I’m very grateful to them. No matter how
much I suffered it was all worth it for I have a beautiful baby
girl who is healthy and vibrant. We’re very happy and owe it to
Oak Tree and BC Women’s Hospital and Health Centre. God
bless them. 5
Lynn is a member of BCPWA.
MayqJune 2010 living5 15