BILLY BUNTER'S Big Top Page 1 of 97 - Friardale

BILLY BUNTER’S Big Top
prepared to take a chance. It was unfortunate, for Mr. Quelch, possibly
looking for a victim in his ‘model’ Form, picked on Bunter in the history class.
Bunter’s knowledge of history was dim. He did not hate history as he hated
Latin, or loathe it as he loathed maths. He had only a mild dislike for it.
When Mr. Quelch asked Bunter who succeeded Queen Elizabeth, he did not
doubt that even Bunter would be able to reply. Fellows were supposed to
know their ‘kings and queens’ before they got into the Lower Fourth at all. But
Bunter hesitated.
‘Come, Bunter,’ said Mr. Quelch testily. ‘You can tell me what monarch came
after Queen Elizabeth?’
‘Oh, yes, sir!’ said Bunter confidently.
‘Well, who was it, Bunter?’
‘Philip of Spain, sir.’
‘What?’ ejaculated Mr. Quelch.
‘But she wouldn’t have him, sir!’ added Bunter.
‘Ha, ha, ha!’ shrieked the Remove.
Mr. Quelch gazed at Bunter. The Remove yelled. They could not help it.
‘Bless my soul!’ ejaculated Mr. Quelch. ‘Silence—silence!’ The merriment died
away quite suddenly.
‘You misunderstand me, Bunter,’ said the Remove master severely. ‘I did not
mean “came after” in that absurd sense of the expression. Give me the name
of the monarch who succeeded Queen Elizabeth on the throne.’
‘Oh!’ said Bunter.
Here he was at a loss. Any fag in the Second Form could have told him, but
no fag of the Second was there to do so. Skinner, from behind Bunter, could
not resist the opportunity. In a whisper heard only by Bunter and fellows close
at hand, he gave Bunter the information.
‘Solomon!’
Had Bunter paused to reflect, even Bunter would have realised that that was
not quite right. But Bunter did not pause to reflect. He was too anxious to get
on the right side of Quelchy that morning.
‘Solomon, sir!’ he said promptly.
Mr. Quelch jumped.
‘What?’ he hooted.
‘Sus-sus-sus-Solomon, sir!’ gasped Bunter, realising that something was
wrong, but sticking to his guns.
‘You absurd boy!’
‘Oh, sir!’ gasped Bunter.
‘Your crass ignorance is really astounding, Bunter. You will be detained for
the afternoon, and you will write out from your book the names of all the
queens and kings of England from the Norman Conquest a hundred times.’
‘Ow!’ groaned Bunter.
‘I hope this will be a lesson to you,’ said Mr. Quelch severely.
‘I—I say, sir—’
‘Enough!’ snapped Mr. Quelch.
‘But—but I can’t be detained this afternoon, sir!’ gasped Bunter.
‘What?’
‘You—you see, sir, I want to go to the circus.’
‘Silence!’ said Mr. Quelch, in a formidable voice. ‘You will be detained until six
o’clock, Bunter.’
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