BOY - Critic

Features Bizarre Crimes
Something smells off
A man in Singapore was sentenced to 14 years in prison and 18 cane
strokes on the butt for smelling the armpits of women and touching
them in lifts. Over 15 months he managed to “interact” with 23 women.
The origins of his behaviour are unexplained but appear to be on par
with those who regularly attend Monkey Bar.
Just a quiet night
In 2008, a Russian man dressed in full military attire drove a tank into
a house and a shop. He was seen clambering out of the tank “holding
two bottles of vodka.” Apparently, the tank was en route to a military
exercise when it took a detour to buy some more vodka. Speculation
surrounds whether it was a military exercise to combat-train the liver
or a precision attack on the morale of western armies by showing how
much more alcohol Russian soldiers can drink.
Critic 01 18
Bizarre Crimes
If you’re gonna get locked up, it might as well be for something that will
make a good story. Josh Hercus has done his research, and come up with
eight of the most bizarre crimes and court cases from around the world.
A disturbance in the force?
In 2005, a Russian astrologer attempted to sue NASA for £165 million
on the grounds of “disrupting the balance of the universe”. Her argument
was that NASA’s Deep Impact space probe, which was going to
smash into a comet to obtain samples from the impact, was a “terrorist
act”. Critic is unsure of the exact details but suspects that NASA must
have been astounded when they found out that someone who practices
astrology actually had enough cognitive ability to read. Needless
to say, the claim was eventually rejected but hopefully the astrologer
was sent a gold star and a certificate.
Wanna try karma sutra now?
In 2005, a long-term couple in Massachusetts engaged in consensual
sexual intercourse. The lecherous activity was painfully interrupted
when the female, without the consent of the male, suddenly moved in
such a way that caused a “penile fracture” which required emergency
surgery. Essentially, the court ruled that it wasn’t “reckless” but “merely
negligent” and the case was dismissed. As men shudder around the
world, questions are now being raised as to what on earth would constitute
“reckless” sexual conduct. Attempts to contact Charlie Sheen for
his expert opinion were unsuccessful.