PAST_ISSUES_files/IONAZ 136 October 2012 FINAL WEB 2.pdf

October 2012 www.IONAZ.com 1

2 www.IONAZ.com October 2012



“SAY SOMETHING” HAT PARTY 


B S W E S T , S C O T T S D A L E 




ION Arizona is like 

water. It’s refreshing! 

It’s good for you! It’s an 

ocean of information! 

Your community is 

in every issue, 

from top(s) 

to bottom(s). 

Inside you’ll 

find great events listed, 

bars, restaurants, tanning 

salons, retail shops, doctors, dentists, 

cabs, HIV testing as well as therapy and 

counseling centers. All here. 

October is your chance to get out, 

participate with members of your 

community, be yourself and, yes, play in 

the water. 

AZ Shines Bright 

After a long, hot, dry summer, October 

brings us some great events throughout 

the state. This includes Rainbows 

Festival, the Arizona State Fair, BS 

West’s Halloween extravaganza, AIDS 

Walks in Phoenix and Tucson, Tucson 

Pride and much, much more. There 

are so many events this month that we 

couldn’t fit it in a regular issue of ION 

Arizona so we added 48 pages! 

Come Out 

If you’re out and proud, congratulations! 

If you’re closeted, there’s never been 

a better and safer time to come out. 

October 11th is National Coming Out 

Day. This is your chance to change your 

life for the better. Your community will be 

your Life Guard once you dive in. 

Halloween 

When I was a kid, I loved Halloween. 

As a Gay adult, I love it even more! But, 

12 www.IONAZ.com October 2012 

Come In, 

the Water’s Fine! 

not just for the candy or parties. This is 

really our holiday, where we can dress 

up and role play. Check out this 

issue for the sea of Halloween 

parties, haunted houses and 

other fun-filled events! 

Get Out and Vote 

I don’t care if you’re a Democrat or a 

Republican, a Tea Party member or an 

Atheist. Black or White, Gay or Straight, 

rich or poor. Your job as an American is 

not just to reap the benefits this great 

country has to offer, but to exercise 

your right to vote and help decide who 

will run your community, state and this 

country. Vote on Tuesday, November 6 

and make a difference. 

More to Love 

I hope you enjoy this expanded 

132-page issue of ION Arizona! 

Check out “Army of Dragness,” this 

year’s Halloween photofeature, our 

interview with the unpredictable figure 

skater Johnny Weir, a great feature 

with photography by Phoenix’s own 

Devin Mitchell of Devinography.com, 

“LesbION” a special coming out feature 

contributed from Out ‘n’ Proud ION 

Arizona reader Britany Pennington, 

photos of hot men in underwear 

available at TU Collection, plus all the 

regular features and guides. 

The moral of this story is that ION 

Arizona needs you. Our community 

needs you, and your country needs 

you. Thank you for your time and enjoy 

the water. Dive in! 

Jack M. Tesorero 

Publisher


2nd ANNIVERSARY 

B L I S S / R E B A R 

More 

PHOTOS at www.IONAZ.com

BOYS NIGHT OUT OLYMPIC STYLE 

A P O L L O ’ S | B S W E S T | N U T O W N E 

| T H E R O C K


3819 North 3rd Street Suite 26, Phoenix, AZ 85012 

(602) 308-4662 • Fax (602) 271-0939 

www.IONAZ.com ionarizona@me.com 

Publisher / FOUNDER 

Jack M. Tesorero .............................. jacktesorero@me.com 

CREATIVE DIRECTOR 

Kevin Bushaw ........................................ kbushaw@me.com 

Editor 

Deon Brown ....................................... ionazeditor@me.com 

COPY EDITORS 

Kimberly Ruff Austin Head 

PRODUCTION ASSISTANT 

Tom King ............................................ ionarizona@me.com 

PRODUCTION & Artwork SUBMISSIONS 

ionazproduction@me.com 

Advertising Sales 

Jack Tesorero ............................................... (602) 750-1164 

Danny Catt, Regional Sales Director ............ (520) 429-5905 

ionazsales@me.com 

ADVERTISING CONSULTANT 

Bill Knoop ..................................................... (602) 301-8457 

Photographers: 

Fernando Hernandez Jerry O’Conner 

Don Thompson Danny Catt 

Devin Mitchell Gavin Jowitt 

Cover photo by Fernando Hernandez 

Art by Kevin Bushaw & Tom King 

National Advertising Representative 

Rivendell Media (212) 242-6863 

Wes Bergman 

Addison DeWitt 

Jackson David Kelly 

C. Edwards 

ContributORS: 

Published monthly by 

Robert Hoffman 

Ted Kirby 

Kim Ruff 

Paul Sanchez 

1995-2012: 17 Years of Design and Creative Excellence 

© 2012 JMT Designs, Inc. 

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED 

PRINTED IN PHOENIX, AZ 

All original artwork and photography for ION Arizona Magazine 

remain property of JMT Designs, Inc, and cannot be reproduced, 

altered, or sold without authorization and compensation. 

Limited usage rights can be purchased for a small fee. 

NOTE: The views expressed in these articles do not necessarily 

reflect the views of ION Arizona, its staff, or that of its parent 

company. 

Publication of the name or photograph of any person or organization 

within ION Arizona is not to be construed as any indication 

of the sexual orientation of such persons or organization. To 

our knowledge, all people photographed and published in ION 

Arizona are over the age of 18. Some photos were submitted 

by our readers. To our knowledge, they own the copyrights, and 

they have given us permission to reproduce them. If you see 

a picture that you own, please call us immediately and we will 

remove it from future publications. All copy, text, display, photos, 

and illustrations in the ads are published with the understanding 

that the advertisers are fully authorized, have secured proper 

written consent for the use of names, pictures, and testimonials 

of any living person, and that ION Arizona is not responsible for 

unlawful use of such content.


Club Congress 

The historic Club Congress parties with the 

best of the 80s, electro-indie, new music on 

Mondays and Thursdays. It’s all happening 

down in the Old Pueblo! 311 E. Congress St. 

Find out more at HotelCongress.com or call 520- 

622-8848. See ad on p. 30 

Karamba’s 8th Anniversary 

Hey there, muchachos and muchachas! Karamba 

nightclub celebrating their 8th Anniversary! Celebrate 

Karamba style on Saturday, October 6 when they give 

away TEN tickets to the Madonna concert! It’s J-Lo 

night on Thursday, October 18 with Ruby and Diamond 

celebrates her 8th Anniversary on Sunday, October. Feliz 

Cumpleaños, Karamba! 1724 E. McDowell Rd. Phone: 

602-254-0231See ads pp. 8-10 

Barbra Seville’s 

Madonnathon 

Blonde, brunette, virgin or tramp. The Material 

Girl has been a Ray of Light for—well—for a long 

time, now! Barbra Seville throws her fab MDNA 

Party that’ll have you burnin’ up for her love. The 

sticky & sweet Venus D-Lite will perform and there’s 

Madonna music all night and a Madonna Wannabe 

contest. It all happens Tuesday, 

October 16 at the Monarch Theatre at 

122 E. Washington St. See ad on p. 40 

Cocktoberfest at Dick’s 

You won’t find a beer garden, pretzels or any “oompaoompa” 

accordion music here. It’s better than that! It’s 

Cocktoberfest! There’s a Harvest Moon, and wait ‘til 

you see the size of the zucchini crop! Tons of prizes, 

giveaways and $2 Lap Dances from 7 p.m.-1 a.m. Schnell! 

It all happens Fri.-Sat, October 19 & 20. 3432 E. Illini, 

Phoenix. Phone: 602-274-DICK See ad on p. 120 


Halloween Parties 

Boo! For the scariest trick or treating 

around check out ION Arizona! It’s your 

guide to the best parties at all of your 

favorite bars and clubs all over in Phoenix 

and Tucson! Get ready for amazing costume 

contests, performances, drag shows! 

All That Glitters Gala 

Celebrate everything our community has accomplished! “All That Glitters” is a gala 

benefit for the 1 Voice LGBT Community Center on Saturday, November 3 at the 

Crowne Plaza Airport at 4300 E. Washington St. Doors open at 6 p.m. Visit 1VCC. 

org for more info. See ad on p. 104 

OCTOBER 2012 ION EVENTS LISTINGS 

DATE EVENT LOCATION CITY 

Mondays Drag Race viewing party Apollo’s Phoenix 

Mondays Retrolution Dance Party Club Congress Tucson 

Thursdays Opti Cub Club Congress Tucson 

6-7 Rainbows Festival Weekend Heritage Square Phoenix 

6 Leather Rummage Sale Anvil Phoenix 

6 Karamba 8th Anniversary Karamba Phoenix 

11-13 Pride in the Desert Downtown Tucson Tucson 

12-11/4 AZ State Fair State Fairgrounds Phoenix 

12-14 Tucson Meet Yourself Tucson 

12 Norteño Band Karamba Phoenix 

13-12/1 Hellraisers Flag Football Colter Park Phoenix 

13 OUTFEST IBT’s & Woody’s Tucson 

13 Italian Buffet Fundraiser OZ Bar Phoenix 

14 AIDS Walk - downtown Jacome Plaza Tucson 

16 Barbra Seville’s Madonnathon Monarch Theatre Phoenix 

19-20 Cocktoberfest Dick’s Cabaret Phoenix 

20 Devil Demo Night Anvil Phoenix 

29 Scary Strip Show w/ Barbra Seville Charlie’s Phoenix 

NOVEMBER 

3 All That Glitters: 1 Voice Gala Crowne Plaza Airport Phoenix 

4 Cook Phoenix Hance Park Phoenix 




Tucson Meet Yourself 

Well, howdy do! «Enchanté!» ¡Mucho gusto! This festival 

introduces and presents the living traditional arts and expresions 

of everyday life of the folk and ethnic communities of the multicultural 

Arizona-Sonora region. It all takes place in various locations throughout 

Tucson Friday, October 12-Sunday, October 14. It’s a great way to finish Tucson AIDS 

Walk! For more info go to TucsonMeetYourself.org 

Tucson AIDS Walk 

Put on your walkin’ shoes, because it’s time for the 24th Annual AIDS 

Walk Tucson, providing support to Southern Arizona which provides 

services, housing, HIV testing and much more. This benefits the 

programs and services of the Southern Arizona AIDS Foundation— 

SAAF. It happens in downtown Tucson on Sunday, October 14. You 

can sign up and raise money, too! Go to AIDSwalkTucson.org for info. 

OUTFEST 

Woody’s and IBT’s team up and join forces to bring you one 

fantabulous party on Saturday, October 13! You won’t want to miss 

the ultimate “Heathers” Raja and Delta Work from RuPaul’s Drag 

Race performing at IBT’s. Limited seating available, so reserve your 

seat now. Jet over to Woody’s for their WETT party! $10 gets you a 

Fast Pass and you can skip the lines! Work it, girls! 

Manhunt Parties 

If you’re looking to “order in” or for “take out” you’ll need Manhunt 

for your menu for an appetizer, main dish and dessert! It’s Wett 

& Wild Weekend with Manhunt memberships, giveaways 

and more! Kick off Pride poolside on Friday October 12 

at Riverpark Inn, 350 S. Freeway. Come to Woody’s for 

a Manhunt underwear party hosted by Miss Mandi Boom 

Boom on Saturday, October 13. 3710 N. Oracle. 

Phone: 520-292-3702 WoodysAZ.com 

Halloween at IBT’s 

For a “spooktacular” Halloween, IBT’s is the 

place to be for their “Dragula Halloween Dance Party!” The 

prettiest ghoul in town, Janée Starr hosts a super-spooky 

drag show at 9 p.m. on Wednesday, October 31. Enjoy 

dancing and enter the costume contest at midnight with 

$1,000 first prize—in real American money! 616 N. 4th Ave. 

Phone: 520-882-3053. IBTsTucson.com 





C 


y Kimberly M. Ruff 

kimberlymruff@yahoo.com 

If you’re anything 

like most ION 

Arizona readers, 

you’ve spent the 

better part of the 

last six months putting 

together the elaborate, 

expensive costume you plan to 

wear this Halloween, which—if you’re 

anything like most ION Arizona readers—you 

realize is a sizable investment 

since you have a huge list of 

parties to attend. Still, Halloween is a 

wonderful holiday and one worth celebrating, 

so to get you, gentle reader, 

into the festive mood, I’m handing out 

“fun-size” movie previews. So trick or 

treat, bitches! 

Hotel Transylvania 

Starring (voices of): Adam Sandler, 

Andy Samberg, Steve Buscemi 

Just out of the crypt is this animated 

cartoon corpse! The Count is a fancy 

hotelier in the “off season.” But what 

happens when a mortal boy from 

discovers the resort—and Dracula’s 

teenage daughter? It ain’t 

Twilight. Thank god. 

Release Date: 

9/28 

Butter 

Starring: Jennifer Garner, Ty 

Burrell, Alicia Silverstone, 

Olivia Wilde, Kristen Schaal 

Black comedy about a woman 

(Garner) whose ego is so 

closely tied to maintaining her 

husband’s title as champion 

butter carver, that she makes 

herself vulnerable to having it carved 

up by her competition…just like butter. 

Release Date: 10/05 

Frankenweenie 

Starring (voices of): 

Charlie Tahan, 

Winona Ryder, 

Martin Landau, 

Catherine O’Hara 

Director, Tim Burton, 

forgoes reimagining 

the work of other 

writers and provides 

an electrifying reboot of his 

own 1984 short film that stitches together 

elements of both Frankenstein and Pet 

Cemetery. Release Date: 10/05 

Seven Psychopaths 

Starring: Colin Farrell, Christopher 

Walken, Sam Rockwell 

A struggling screenwriter (Farrell) finds 

inspiration to finish his screenplay when 

his quirky cohorts inadvertently thrust him 

head-first into LA’s underground criminal 

culture when they steal a gangster’s most 

prized possession: his dog. Release Date: 

10/12/2012 

Paranormal Activity 4 

Starring: Henry Joost, Ariel Schulman 

Scary, until you realize it’s only a movie… 

or is it? (Hint: it is.) Release Date: 10/19 




Madonna 

Once upon a time, waaay back in the 80s there was 

a little girl who shocked America and even the Pope with 

her wild ways and dirty dancing. Well, now seemingly ageless 

Madge is all grown up and still shocks us—for lots of different reasons. Catch the 

Bottle Blonde of the Century on Tuesday, October 16 at the US Airways Center, 201 

E. Jefferson St. Phoenix. If you’re lucky enough to get tix call visit TicketMaster.com or 

call 800-745-3000. Express yourself! 

So You Think You Can Dance? 

And we ain’t talkin’ ‘bout the Charleston, either! Catch those 

terpsichorean hotshots from the hit ABC show when the latest 

cast does a grand jeté into the Comerica Theatre on 400 W. 

Washington St. on Saturday, October 28. For tix visit 

LiveNation.com or call 602-379-2888 

Alanis Morissette 

Remember that angry, crunchy Canadian girl who sang 

about rain on a wedding day and blowing some guy in 

the back of a theatre? Well, she’s still angry and she’s 

coming to town! Catch Alanis Morissette at the Comerica 

Theatre, 400 W. Washington St. on Thursday, November 

1. If you’re mad as hell, get your tickets at TicketMaster. 

com or call and give ‘em a piece of your mind—and credit 

card number—at 602-379-2888 

OCTOBER 2012 ION Concert Calendar 

DATE ARTIST LOCATION PHONE 

5 Melissa Etheridge Wild Horse Pass Casino 877-840-0457 

9 The Black Keys Comerica Theatre 602-379-2888 

16 Madonna U.S. Airways Center 800-745-3000 

17 Brad Paisley Ashley Homestore Pavilion 800-745-3000 

21 Carrie Underwood Jobing.com Arena 800-745-3000 

26 The Temptations Wild Horse Pass 877-840-0457 

26 Cowboy Mouth Talking Stick Resort 800-745-3000 

27 KNIX Fest w/ Dierks Bentley Ak-Chin Casino, Maricopa 800-745-3000 

28 So You Think You Can Dance Tour Comerica Theatre 602-379-2888 

NOVEMBER 

11/1 Alanis Morissette Comerica Theatre 602-379-2888 

11/2 Dayglow: Life in Color Tucson Arena 800-745-3000 

11/4 Eddie Vedder Comerica Theatre 602-379-2888 



SUMMER MELTDOWN 

P H O E N I X P L A C E H O T E L 

MIDTOWN PHOENIX 

Come see what 

we’re all about with 

one month of 

fRee SWImmInG! 

Visit us online for swim locations, 

swim times and to find out more 

about the Sunfish. 

www.phxsunfish.org 

Support the Sunfish at Pride, April 21-22, 

by visiting our Beverage Booth! 


Meet me at the Fair! Where else can you play Whack-A-Mole, 

see prize winning Appenzeller Chickens, loop-de-loop on over 75 rides on the midway—have 

you ever made out at the top of the Ferris Wheel? It’s hot!—and eat snacks 

served “on-a-stick” at any of the 110 food booths? The Arizona State Fair started in 

1884 as a “Territory Fair,” and it’s now one of the top five state fairs in the country. More 

than a million visitors are drawn to this attraction yearly. It runs from October 12-November 

4 this year. 

Take advantage of the great deals and discounts! Get an Adult Season Pass for $18. 

You can get this for a limited time only. Check out other amazing deals, like Unlimited 

Ride wristbands, online at AZStateFair.com. 

Cricket Wireless is the exclusive retail location for the new FastPass discount offer. Get 

$5 off your front-of-line FastPass, regularly $25, and experience more rides on any day 

of the Fair. Coupon available only at participating Cricket Wireless locations. 

You can use the free “Park & Ride Shuttle” at the State Capitol or $5 parking at the 

20th Ave. parking lot. The Fair is closed Mondays and Tuesdays. 

The Arizona State Fair! What a deal! All this and Funnel Cake, too! At the same place, 

at the same time! See you there! 

And did you want entertainment? Catch showbiz greats in the Veteran’s Memorial 

Coliseum. General admission seating is FREE with Fair admission on a first come, 

first served basis. Primo reserved seats are available through TicketMaster.com or by 

calling 800-745-3000. Separate Fair admission is required. 


Weezer 

Who hasn’t laughed and cried at the same time 

to “Undone: The Sweater Song”? This frathouse 

favorite alt-rock band since 1992 has nine albums 

under their belt now, and they’ll be in their “Buddy 

Holly” finest in the Veteran’s Memorial Coliseum on 

Sunday, October 14 at 7 p.m. 

Adam Lambert 

Whataya want from him? American Idol’s runner-up 

superstar is a smashing platinum blonde now! Pop/ 

Rock’s bad boy is packing up his eyeliner and heading for 

the Arizona State Fair on Wednesday, October 17 at 7 p.m. 

This is one show you won’t want to miss. Don’t worry about 

“Trespassing” because he’s here “For Your Entertainment.” 

Karmin 

Sweethearts Amy Heidemann 

and her super-cute beau Nick (Louis) Noonan are the 

darling duo behind “Karmin.” Besides their top 20 hit 

“Brokenhearted,” their infectious covers on YouTube 

made them a sensation garnering fans around the world! 

Pack up some extra fun, because they’re performing at 7 

p.m. on October 25. 

ARIZONA STATE FAIR CONCERTS + EVENTS 

DATE ARTIST TICKET PRICE TIME 

13 Billy Currington Upper Lvl Free with Fair Admission / $20 7 p.m. 

14 Weezer Upper Lvl Free with Fair Admission / $20 7 p.m. 

17 Adam Lambert Upper Lvl Free with Fair Admission / $20 7 p.m. 

18 Mavericks Upper Lvl Free with Fair Admission / $15 7 p.m. 

19 John Fogerty Upper Lvl Free with Fair Admission / $20 7 p.m. 

20 Nas Upper Lvl Free with Fair Admission / $20 7 p.m. 

21 Prince Royce Upper Lvl Free with Fair Admission / $15 5 p.m. 

24 Jane’s Addiction Upper Lvl Free with Fair Admission / $20 7 p.m. 

25 Karmin Upper Lvl Free with Fair Admission / $15 7 p.m. 

26 Jerrod Nieman &Jana Kramer Upper Lvl Free with Fair Admission / $15 7 p.m. 

27 Korn Upper Lvl Free with Fair Admission / $20 7 p.m. 

28 Arizona Derby Dames FREE with State Fair Admission 7 p.m. 

1 Sublime with Rome Upper Lvl Free with Fair Admission / $20 7 p.m. 

2 Old School Jam Upper Lvl Free with Fair Admission / $15 8 p.m. 

3 Zendaya Upper Lvl Free with Fair Admission / $15 7 p.m. 



7pm - 2am

y Jackson David Kelly 

jacksonkelly@cox.net 

Check out new stuff from Mumford & 

Sons, Jackie Evancho, Beth Orton, Taylor 

Swift, Barbra Streisand, Mika, Brandy, 

Anberlin and Shiny Toy Guns. 

No Doubt 

Push & Shove 

On their sixth studio 

album and first since 

2001, Gwen and 

company are back. 

Though gone is the 

hip “OC” sound we’ve grown to love, this 

new-found electro pop screams current 

and commercial. Overall it’s less quirk 

and more harmony, less punk and more 

dance. Initial single “Settle Down” proves 

safe and somewhat tepid while the Diplo 

influenced title track ups the ante and 

gives fans what we’ve grown to love: a 

cross of ska, punk and fun! However, it’s 

with “Sparkle” where this band shines 

brightest in the essence of No Doubt. 

GRADE: B- 

Tori Amos 

Gold Dust 

After 20 years in the 

biz, Tori goes back to 

her roots and channels 

Little Earthquakes 

once again. After finding success on 

the Deutsche Grammophon label, 

Amos combines her style with classical 

aspects to create sweeping, beautiful 

and emotional orchestral movements 

on all 14 tracks. Though not a huge 

departure from the originals; this album 

is merely supported with layered strings 

and lush landscapes. “Jackie’s Strength” 

and “Flavor” get the best transformation 

while “Winter,” “Cloud on my Tongue” 

Yo, DJ! 

What’s New? 

and “Precious Things” all sound brilliant. 

GRADE: A- 

Muse 2 nd Law 

Where Resistance was 

lush, Law ends up being 

raw. This album channels 

elements of David Bowie, 

Led Zeppelin, Queen 

and some U2. In a strange comparison, 

it’s almost electronic, but created with real 

instruments. Though it does take some 

time to seduce you, the album as a whole 

screams arrogance, but eventually lures 

you in. The Olympic theme “Survival” is a 

good intro to this sets new direction while 

“Madness” further showcases this new 

found stripped style of techno-rock. As 

expected, the set finishes with pompous, 

orchestral elements that actually work very 

well. GRADE: B 

Ellie Goulding 

Halcyon 

Though not a household 

name in America, Ellie 

is a superstar in the 

U.K. However, after 

the success of “Lights” here in the U.S., 

this album should launch her career 

stateside. On her sophomore effort, Ellie 

goes darker, real and more emotional. 

In essence, it’s less “chirpy” and more 

“poppy.” Lead single “Hangin’ On” proves 

just ok while “Anything Could Happen” 

takes it up a notch with its hook and catchy 

refrain. “My Blood” is, perhaps, this sets 

standout track while the pulsating “Only 

You” comes a close second. For those 

needing a sentimental journey, find solace 

in “I Know You Care.” Grade: B+ 


SEDONA / VERDE VALLEY PRIDE 

O L D T O W N C O T T O N W O O D 



y Wes Bergman 

wesobergman@yahoo.com 

Katy Perry: 

Part of Me 

(2012) 

Starring: Katy Perry 

(mostly), Russell Brand 

(barely). Marketed as a 

“part-biopic, part-concert film”, 

Katy Perry’s documentary, 

Katy Perry: Part of Me, 

largely focuses on her 

2011 international tour 

California Dreams to 

promote her sophomore, 

multi-platinum album, 

Teenage Dream. In 

between footage of colorful, 

choreographed stage 

performances of many of her 

hits, we are invited to take a 

look backstage at the inner workings 

of bringing such a vibrant, energetic 

show to fans across the globe. Besides 

meeting the loyal crew that helps her 

realize her vision, we also get a glimpse 

into who “Katy Perry” is when she’s not a 

global superstar. 

Perry got her start as a gospel singer 

before transitioning to pop as a late 

teen. A prolific songwriter and guitarist, 

she was picked up—and subsequently 

dropped—by a couple of record labels 

before finding a home at the newly 

formed Capitol Music Group, where 

her star immediately began to rise. Yet 

for all her wild success and acclaim, 

Perry is still very human and juggling 

her burgeoning career with her fledgling 

marriage to Russell Brand invariably 

takes its toll. You may pick up Katy Perry: 

Part of Me to watch the bubblegum, 

eye candy fun of her concerts, but you’ll 

remember it for her humanity. Available 

on DVD and Blu-Ray. 

Perry’d with 

Children 

Desperate 

Housewives: 

The Eighth and 

Final Season 

Starring: Teri Hatcher, Marcia 

Cross, Felicity Huffman, 

Eva Longoria 

Faithful fans of the 

cheeky prime time 

soap opera, Desperate 

Housewives will 

recall that Season 7 

ended up a bit of a 

cliffhanger when the 

ladies of Wisteria Lane 

all conspired to do the 

neighborly thing and help 

Gabrielle Solis (Longoria) 

bury a body—specifically, her 

abusive stepfather’s. 

Season 8 finds the women struggling 

with their guilt over the entire affair 

(despite having done much worse 

throughout the series) and confronting 

another mystery that bears a striking 

resemblance to the one that galvanized 

them during Season 1: a menacing note 

bearing the same missive, verbatim, that 

prompted their one-time close associate, 

Mary Alice, to off herself has now been 

sent to Bree Van de Kamp (Cross), the 

heir apparent to the “Bake It Until You 

Make It” Empire. As is wont to happen 

on that idyllic suburban street over the 

course of the final season, the bodies 

pile up and the women— presumably fed 

up with all their friends and neighbors 

kicking the bucket—end up leaving. 

It’s just as well; the lion’s share of the 

audience moved on long ago. Available 

on DVD. 


Sample 

some of the 

finest wines 

produced 

right here in 

Arizona! 

Many Arizona wineries 

will be on hand with their 

delicious wines. Enjoy 

soothing entertainment, 

learn helpful wine tips 

and try your “feet” at a 

grape stomp taking place 

at 2pm. Flights of five 

wines just $10. 

Visit azstatefair.com/wine 

for updates. 


PoeFest 

Quoth the Raven, “Nevermore.” Well, sometimes “occasionally.” Set in an 

asylum for the criminally insane, The Arizona Curriculum Theater presents the works 

of creepy 19th century American writer Edgar Allan Poe like you’ve never seen them 

before. These are not readings; the words of Poe are brought to life with 

chilling reality October 5-6 at the Hotel San Carlos, 202 N. Central Ave. 

For info call 602-396-7422 or visit PoeFest.org 

A Vampire Tale 

This is the annual “Nutcracker” of the Halloween season presented 

by the phenomenal Scorpius Dance Theatre. Dark, sinister 

and very, very sexy, this is the ninth consecutive presentation 

of the debauchery of the Living Dead—including thrilling aerial 

feats—is sure to thrill and seduce you. Presented 

weekends October 11-November 3 at the Little Theatre 

of Phoenix Theatre, 100 E. McDowell Rd. For tix visit 

ScorpiusDance.com or call 602-254-2151 

Monty Python’s Spamalot! 

“What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen Swallow?” You have to 

know these things when you’re king. Join King Arthur, brave Sir 

Robin, Lancelot and the kay-niggets of the Round Table in Monty 

Python’s Spamalot now through October 14 at Phoenix Theatre, 

100 E. McDowell Rd. in Phoenix. Go to PhoenixTheatre.com or 

call 602-254-2151 for tickets and info. “Ni! Ni!” 

OCTOBER 2012 ION THEATER + STANDUP 

DATE EVENT LOCATION PHONE 

4-7 Underneath the Lintel iTheatre - Herberger 602-254-7399 

5-6 Lemon Andersen ASU Gammage 480-965-3434 

5-6 PoeFest Hotel San Carlos 602-396-7422 

5-7 Joe Rogan StandUp Live-Phx 480-719-6100 

5-28 The Music Man Theatre Works 623-815-1791 

thru 7 Agony & Ecstasy of Steve Jobs Actors Theatre - Herberger 602-252-8497 

11-11/3 A Vampire Tale Phoenix Theatre 602-258-1794 

11-28 Next to Normal AZ Theatre Co. - Herberger 602-254-7339 

12 Bill Engvall Scotts. Ctr. for the Arts 480-499-8587 

thru 14 Monty Python’s Spamalot Phoenix Theatre 602-254-2151 

20 Smartest Man in the World Mesa Arts Center 480-644-6500 

20 The Daily Show Tour Scotts. Ctr. for the Arts 480-499-8587 

24-28 Interviews about Internet Dating Scotts. Ctr. for the Arts 480-499-8587 

25-28 A Haunting We Will Go Center Dance Co. - Herberger 602-254-7339 

thru 27 Streetcar Named Desire Scotts. Desert Stages 480-483-1664 



Miss Goddess 

Apollo’s Pageant 

Who’s got the beauty? The talent? The hunger? Who will 

be the next Miss Goddess Apollo’s? Yep! It’s a pageant! 

Watch the best queens in town battle it out for the crown. 

They’ll also honor Grecia Montes D’Occa, Miss Goddess Apollo’s 

and Miss Phoenix Gay Pride 2012. The magic happens on Friday, October 19 at 

9:30 p.m. The new goddess will be celebrated at the weekly review on Sunday, 

October 21 at 7 p.m. 5749 N. 7th St. Phone: 602-277-9373. See ad p. 5 

OCTOBER 2012 ION DRAG LISTINGS 

DATE TIME LOCATION SHOW / PERFORMER(S) 

Fri 5 10:00pm The Rock Apocalypz with Pandora DeStrange & GoGo Berlynn 

Sat 6 Karamba Ruby, Diamond, and Savannah Host Karamba’s 8th Anniversary 

Sun 7 7:00pm The Rock Hypno-Booty 

Mon 8 + 15 9:30pm Apollo’s Drag Bingo 

Fri 12 10:00pm The Rock Delta Work & Raja at Juke Joint 

Sat 13 

Woody’s & IBT’s OUTFEST with Delta Work & Raja 

Sun 14 7:00pm The Rock Delta Work & Raja at U betta Work 

Sun 14 10:30p, Karamba Diamond’s 8th Anniversary 

Sun14 7:00pm Apollo’s Tequila Nights with Tyra & Grecia 

Wed 17 9:30pm Charlie’s Claudia B’s Rocky Horror Show Night 

Fri 19 9:30pm Apollo’s Miss Goddess Apollos Pageant 

Sat 20 9:30pm Charlie’s Witches Ball with Pussy LeHoot - Prize for Best Witch 

Sun 21 7:00pm Apollo’s Miss Goddess Apollos Revue Show 

Mon 22 7:00pm Apollo’s Rupaul All-Star Viewing Party / Drag Bingo 

Fri 26 10:00pm The Rock Scandaleyez with Savannah Stevens 

Sat 27 9:30pm Charlie’s Pussy’s Patio Show presents Haunted Hollywood 

Sun 28 7:00pm Apollo’s Neveah Loves Coco with Neaveah McKenzie and Coco St. James 

Mon 29 7:00pm Apollo’s RuPaul All-Star Viewing Party/ Drag Bingo 

Wed 31 9:00pm The Rock The Voodoo Revue with The Gender Outlaws & Celia Putty 

Wed 31 9:00pm IBT’s Dragula Haloween Spooktacular 

11/4 7:00pm The Rock Miss Rock Pageant 

WEEKLY SHOWS 

Mondays 10:00pm Charlie’s Barbra Seville w/ Strippers! 

Mondays 10:00pm Apollo’s Naughty or Nice Bingo 

Wednesdays 9:00pm IBT’s Viva La Diva with Janee Star 

Wednesdays 9:00pm The Rock Open Wide Wednesdays 

Wednesdays 10:30pm Karamba Girls of Karamba - Adrian Galiano, Karime Lizaldi, & Celeste Montiel 

Wednesdays 10:00pm Charlie’s Claudia B. & Company 

Thursdays 10:30pm Karamba Tejano Thursdays with Ruby Reynolds 

Fridays 10:00pm Woody’s T.D.I.F. (Thank DiVa It’s Friday!) 

Fridays 9:00pm IBT’s Absolutely Flawless with China Collins 

Fridays 10:30pm Cruisin’ 7th Miss Dottie Pepper 

Fridays 9:00pm BS West Elements - The Valley’s Top Drag Entertainers 

Saturdays 9:00pm IBT’s Starrletts with Janee Star 

Saturdays 10:30pm Cruisin’ 7th The Fabulous Mia Inez Adams 

Saturdays 10:00pm The Rock The Barbra Seville Show 

Saturdays 10:00pm icepics The Olivia Gardens Show / A Touch of Soul with Maraya Jordan 

Saturdays 9:30pm Charlie’s Pussy’s Patio Show 

1st & 3rd Sun. 12:30pm Cruisin’ 7th Sunday Morning Madness with Miss Dottie Pepper 

Sundays 8:30pm Charlie’s Pussy LeHoot & Friends 

Sundays 10:30pm Karamba Diamond’s Show 





Gabriel, blow your horn! Just make 

sure it’s at Angels Trumpet Ale House, 

the cunning, new contemporary tavern 

in the heart of the Roosevelt District that 

opened in August serving up a thoughtful 

menu of noshes and specialty craft 

beers. 

“Was ist los in das Gasthaus?” You must 

be asking. We’ll tell you what’s going on. 

Husband and wife team Mat and Sharry 

Englehorn (Get it? Englehorn = Angels 

Trumpet. Neat, huh?) decided it was 

time to reinvent their lives, transforming 

Mat’s former real estate office 

into a pub. Not your 

ordinary, darkly lit pub 

serving up mountains 

of fish ‘n’ chips 

and bangers and 

mash. Nein! The 

young wünderkind 

at the stove is 

the talented Xane 

Brody who cut his 

culinary chops at The 

Grind. Sharry and Xane 

created the toothsome 

menu together. 

Start off with a flight of their tasty 

brewskies! Enjoy a generous 

sampling of six for $9. 

Choose from 31 kinds of 

porters, stouts, ales, 

pilsners, and on and 

on! 

The Pizza Flatbread 

stands out with five 

to choose from, 

plus a seasonal 

pizza. Carnivores 

Angels Trumpet Ale House 

will go crazy for the Meat Treat, with 

pepperoni, peppered bacon, salami, 

sausage, leeks, smoked mozzarella 

and roasted tomato sauce. Other pizzas 

are artistically created, like the Tractor, 

with egg, bacon, Brussels sprouts, 

caramelized onion and cheese. These 

mouthwatering, hefty 10” pies hover 

around the $10 mark with add-ons for $2 

each. You can even add Spam! 

If you’d like something that’s rootin’ 

tootin’ and served on a bun, Angels 

Horn has three on the menu. Choose a 

burger of grilled ground beef cooked 

to order, smoked pork burger, 

a grilled chicken breast or 

scrambled eggs. You’ve 

got a Good Ol’ Fashioned 

with pickled red onion an 

arugula with a variety of 

cheeses to choose from, 

the Southwest with grilled 

chili peppers, Chihuahua 

cheese and adobo sauce or 

a hearty ‘Shroom Stroganoff 

takes a 


twist on the 

Russian masterpiece, 

topping our patty with a ladle full of 

cream of mushroom, Swiss cheese 

and a dollop of sour cream. You’ll say, 

“Spasibo!” That’s Russian for “Thank 

you.” Each “bun-wich” is only $9 and 

served with your choice of fries, a 

delicious cole slaw with cranberry 

craisins, or ribbon chips. 

The housemade ketchup from the Angels 

Horn kitchen (or catsup if you’re fancy) 

hits a high note with us. Order two 

ramekins of this amazing sauce. You’ll 

want to order a bowl of it and eat it like 

soup, it’s that delicious. 

“Give me a home, where the buffalo 

roam ...” If you’re in a sausage kind 

of mood (and who isn’t?) you’ll feel 

right at home with the Bison BLT in a 

Blanket. You’ll get a Bison meat hotdog 

(and Bison is a lot lower in cholesterol, 

lower in calories and much lower in 

fat, too, without sacrificing any flavor.) 

wrapped in warm flatbread topped with 

bacon, seasonal greens, tomato and 

housemade mayonnaise. 

If you want something extra special try 

their own “Hanky on a Shingle.” You’ll 

go “baa-baa”-barmy 

for this tender, mild, chipped lamb 

topped with that rich ‘n’ creamy cream 

of mushroom on Texas toast as big 

as the state itself, served with fries 

(and don’t forget that ketchup!) and 

seasonal vegetables. Make sure this 

is served piping hot for max taste. Our 

veggies consisted of fresh green beans, 

coined carrots and—get this—sliced 

parsnips! Who knew parsnips were so 

effing good? We hope they’re always in 

season! All this for $11. 

You’ll be sorry if you don’t end your 

repast with their unique, housemade 

“Pop Tarts.” These ain’t from Kellogg’s, 

kids! Each flaky pastry is filled with a 

seasonal fruit jam and drizzled with a 

keen vanilla glaze. Angels Horn features 

a Sunday Brunch that looks, well, like a 

bit of heaven on earth. 

Angels Trumpet Ale House has 

something they can toot their own horn 

about. 

810 N. 2nd St. 

602-252-2630 

Tues-Thurs: 11a.m.-11 p.m. 

Fri-Sat: 11 a.m.-midnight 

Sunday Brunch: 10 a.m.-3 p.m. 

AngelsTrumpetAleHouse.com 


Order Online 

Delivery at 

blissonfourth.com 

more downtown 

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EVENT SPACE 

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7th Anniversary Celebration! 

Specials All Week • Oct 14-20 

7 Days. 7 Items. $7. 

Expanded Happy Hour Until 7PM 

7 Lottery Tickets For 

Every 7th Reservation 

FREE Appetizer for Parties of 7+ 

Details @ fezoncentral.com 

New deeper happy 

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COOK Phoenix is a chance to sample 

culinary creations from many of Phoenix’s 

finest restaurants, and vote on your 

favorite restaurant while enjoying live 

entertainment, a festive atmosphere and 

live cooking demonstrations by celebrity 

chefs! COOK raises funds to help fund 

HRC’s efforts to ensure a nation where 

every citizen is treated equally, regardless 

of sexual orientation or gender identity. 

General Admission: $25 includes 

admission to the event, unlimited food 

tastings and an annual HRC membership. 

VIP Admission: $100 includes admission 

to the event, unlimited food tastings, 

complimentary non-alcohol/alcohol 

beverages all day, and an annual HRC 

membership. 

Tickets can be purchased online at 

www.hrc.org/COOKPhoenix 


Diva or 

Darling? 

Johnny Weir 

does a triple-toe 

loop just for ION 

“I’m Here. 

I’m Weir. 

Get into it. ” 

by Deon Brown 


The gifted, talented, stylish and 

renowned enfant terrible of figure 

skating, Johnny Weir skates back on 

to television for the second season of 

his reality show/docu-series Be Good 

Johnny Weir. 

Sometimes called the “Lady Gaga of 

Figure Skating,” for his spectacular, if 

not controversial costumes and routines, 

Johnny’s skating and artistry never 

fails to dazzle and entertain audiences 

around the world—and even beyond— 

he even has an asteroid named after 

him. 

Titillated journalists and fans everywhere 

are fascinated with Johnny’s glamorous 

furs, costumes, life and sometimes, yes, 

even his notorious tantrums. US Weekly 

magazine even reported what Johnny 

keeps in his fab Hermès Birkin bag in 

their “What’s In My Bag?” feature. 

Now, John Garvin “Johnny” Weir- 

Voronov is 28-years-old and married 

attorney Victor Voronov on New Year’s 

Eve, 2011. The two-time Olympian, 

three-time U.S. National Figure 

Skating Champion, two time 

Grand Prix Final bronze 

medalist and a 

World Medalist is settling down as he 

trains for his third—and last—Winter 

Olympics in Sochi, Russia in 2014. 

Johnny spoke to ION Arizona about his 

TV show, married life, his wardrobe— 

and why he still won’t take shit from 

anybody. 

ION: Tell us about your show. 

JW: The first season was very much the 

life of a competitive athlete and going 

to the Olympics, trials and tribulations 

and the day to day struggles that I 

faced. It wasn’t glamorous, it wasn’t 

Kardashianed at all. The second season 

is a little bit more outrageous. I had two 

years off, I can drink on a Wednesday 

if I want to. Do whatever I want, try 

whatever I want, write my book, plan a 

big skating Cirque du Soleil moment, 

sing a song. This season was definitely 

geared toward my popularity and the 

sort of famous life I’ve led. I was really 

nervous how people would react to 

seeing two polar opposite Johnny 

Weirs. 

ION: You’ve described yourself as 

an introvert. How do you reconcile 

this with having your own reality TV 

show? 

JW: It’s kinda like Beyoncé. When she 

goes on stage she becomes “Sasha 

Fierce.” When people are looking at 

me, when the cameras are on, when 

I’m performing, I know how to turn it 

on. I know the inner “Sasha Fierce” 

I have inside me. At home I’m very 

quiet, I’m very organized, very OCD 

about cleaning—almost to insanity. 

I’m all about keeping everything small, 

quiet and clean. When I’m out in public 

I can be outrageous. I’m completely 

comfortable with who I am, which helps 

me be an entertainer, be a performer 


and have 

a reality show and 

do all these wonderful things 

I’ve been blessed to do. 

ION: We’ve almost 

watched you grow 

up on ice. You 

still have a 

funny, almost 

childlike 

quality. 

JW: The 

older I 

get—I’m 

still not so 

old—but I 

feel like with 

all the things 

I’ve been able 

to do and the 

sacrifices I’ve 

made, growing 

up very early, I still 

find it’s great to be silly, 

to have people around you 

can ‘play’ with. You have to have that 

adolescent style. If you’re uncomfortable 

being you it’s very easy to get stuffy, to 

get scared and to always say the right 

thing and do the right thing; that’s never 

been me. Me being childlike and silly is 

a huge part of my personality and how 

I’ve been able to stay sane over the 

years. 

ION: How’s married life? 

JW: It’s an incredible balance to my 

profession and being an entertainer. 

It’s so grown up! He’s strong, he’s 

intelligent, he’s smart. He balances me 

very well. I’m more emotional, more 

creative and I’ve got a little more crazy 


up in my head 

than he does. That says a lot 

for two young gay people with so many 

distractions. It definitely enhances my 

skating and makes me more confident 

that somebody loves me. 

ION: What do you wish 

more people knew 

about you that 

might surprise 

them? 

JW: You 

know, on 

television 

and 

when I’m 

having my 

“Johnny 

Fierce” 

moments 

in front of 

people I often 

times come 

across a little bit 

stupid and a little 

bit diva. I like my life to 

be exactly like I want it to 

be, with no questions and I won’t 

settle for anything differently—I don’t 

find that ‘diva’—I think that’s a human 

right. I wish people would think of me 

more as a clever person; somebody 

that’s not all about Birkin bags, furs, 

sparkles and skating to pretty music 

and doing what is known as one of the 

Gayest sports ever. I wish people would 

see me more as what I see myself as: a 

very normal, toned-down person. I don’t 

do my hair and makeup every day. But 

I’m happy to give them everything that 

they want out of Johnny Weir. 

Johnny & his husband 

Victor Voronov 

ION: You’ve accomplished quite a 

bit on an impressive Bucket List: 

A TV show, a book, Fashion Week,



The Rachel Zoe Project, voice overs, 

a photoshoot for MAC Cosmetics. 

What’s next? 

JW: I think the sky’s the limit. I’m 

training again. My goal is to compete in 

my third Olympics. Right now I’ve kind 

of given up a lot of my “pop” life—my 

celebrity happenings, my books, 

songs, photoshoots and 

things—so I can train 

everyday. I’m a bit 

old for competitive 

figure skating and 

getting a bit long 

in the tooth. 

I’m going on 

this journey to 

show my fans 

that anything 

is possible. 

You can be 

50 and have a 

baby. You can be 

an old, has-been 

figure skater and 

come back refreshed, 

revitalized and new. You 

can do anything you want in life. 

After Sochi, I’ll hang up my competitive 

skates and hopefully have my own 

company of skaters that go around the 

globe. The most important thing for me 

is to have fun with my life. If I want to try 

something and I know I’m going to fail— 

like cutting a single and not really being 

a singer. I have fun. That’s the most 

important thing. 

ION: You said that you weren’t always 

right in your choices. What was your 

best choice? The worst choice? 

JW: Best choice? Getting married. 

I completely surrendered to ‘Jesus 

taking the wheel,’ as they say. Taking 

the shields down. You don’t live without 

building armor around yourself. Even my 

sport has gotten stronger by allowing 

myself that moment of weakness. 

The worst choice? I wear some really 

wrong clothes. I love fashion, I love 

being avant garde and crazy, but I’ll see 

a picture and the makeup is completely 

wrong, the clothes are a disaster. But I 

stand behind them! I love my 

mistakes! It makes it 

even better! 

But, really, I 

judge people 

and I attack 

people for 

no real 

reason. I’m 

trying to be 

better as I 

get older. 

Everyone 

has a story. 

Everyone has 

a background. 

Homeless 

people don’t just 

become homeless. 

There’s always a story 

and you can’t judge people, 

you have to try to know them as person. 

That’s definitely my biggest mistake. 

I’ve lost out on a lot of really great 

experiences because of that. 

ION: In your autobiography you said 

that with all of your adventures and 

catastrophes, that you’re in “the kiss 

and cry of my life.” 

JW: I never wanted to put competitive 

skates on again. I never wanted to be 

in front of judges again. I felt at the 

last Olympics I did the best I could 

and that still wasn’t good enough to 

win a medal. Despite that I’ve turned 

myself back into this torturous world 

for no other reason than vanity. I want 

to work hard; I want to show people

what it is that made me me. I don’t 

want to be this reality star that writes 

cookbooks and makes singles and has 

a t-shirt line—while that would be nice 

and beneficial. Every moment is a “kiss 

and cry.” Every moment is that moment 

when you’re sitting there and having that 

last fabulous, glorious moment of sheer 

bliss. That’s how life should be lived. It 

shouldn’t be torturous. It should be that 

moment when you’re sitting there either 

kissing or crying. 

ION: What’s the best part of being 

Johnny Weir? 

JW: Having met a lot of people. A lot 

of random people. A lot of struggling 

people. A lot of successful people. The 

one thing I have that a lot of people 

don’t 

have is selfconfidence. 

I realize all of my 

strengths, but more importantly 

I recognize all of my 

weaknesses. That creates a 

comfortable cocoon that I 

float around in everyday. 

I don’t take shit from 

anybody. That strength 

has pulled me through. 

So many times where 

I could’ve crumbled 

and said, ‘I can’t do 

this anymore,’ Growing 

up as a very, very Gay 

kid in high school, there 

are so many times when 

I could’ve said, “We need 

to find a way to change 

who you are to make other 

people happy.” The fact that I 

don’t care if I make people happy 

is something I wouldn’t trade for a 

million crocodile Birken bags. 

ION: If you were a superhero, what 

would your superpower be and why? 

JW: Everyone always says the ability 

to fly. But I fly a lot, and it’s not all it’s 

cracked up to be. My superpower would 

be to teleport! To go from one place to 

another with the snap of the finger—like 

Bewitched. No luggage. It would make 

life a lot easier and a lot more luxurious. 

Like Astro Boy. That’s what I would want 

to look like. 

Watch Be Good Johnny Weir on LOGO 

every Monday night at 10 p.m. PST on 

Cox Channel 159. For full episodes visit 

LOGOtv.com 




y Britany Pennington 

“TOO PRETTY TO BE GAY” 

A STORY FOR NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY 

I’m Britany, and I’m a 23-year-old part 

time model for MTV and a makeup artist 

for a spa. 

I am a Lesbian and have been “out” 

since I was 14-years-old. Growing up, 

I had a rough childhood and when 

people hear about it they like to say 

that my tough experiences have led me 

to this “lifestyle.” It’s funny that people 

like to put an excuse on why people 

are homosexual—as if there should 

be a reason to love someone. Love is 

an emotion that you feel and I believe 



you cannot choose who you love. I 

knew I was attracted to girls before 

any traumatic experiences in my life 

occurred. I was so young; I didn’t 

even know what a Gay person was, 

but I knew I had an attraction to girls 

instead of boys. I thought something 

was wrong with me and was scared to 

tell anyone about the way I felt. Once 

I got into my teens I started to learn 

and understand about homosexuality. 

I was in denial and also I was very 

scared for my family to find out. 

Coming out was a very hard 

experience and I dealt with a lot of 

discrimination from my family. That’s 

why I can never understand why 

people would say I “chose” to be like 

this. If it was a choice, I would have 

been Straight. Life would have been a 

lot easier that way. Through the years 

my family has grown to accept me 

more and now my relationship with 

them is stronger then ever. 

My girlfriend Sally and I have decided 

to get a domestic partnership and 

declare our love in a commitment 

ceremony. When my girlfriend told 

her mom on the phone, one of the 

first things her mom said was, “Well, 

it won’t be legal,” as if the whole 

meaning of committing yourself to 

someone should be about whether 

it’s legal or not. The ignorance in 

society saddens me and every day I 

hear ignorant comments from people 

telling me I’m “too pretty to be Gay,” or 

I “haven’t had a guy give it to me right” 

or I’m “confused.” 

I am proud of who I am and who I love 

and no matter how many times I’m 

told it’s not right to love and be in love 


with a woman; those feelings 

don’t just go away. 

Sally and I have been dealing with our 

own barriers while discussing getting 

married. That’s when I wanted to do 

a photoshoot kissing my girlfriend 

through a fence representing what 

it’s like being a homosexual couple 

and having barriers in your way. This 

shows our pride and that love has no 

boundaries. I really want people to see 

that love is something that cannot be 

stopped. 

Sometimes when a person speaks 

badly about Gay marriage it’s coming 

from the mouth of someone who has 

been divorced, and that’s sad. People 

should focus on what the meaning of 

marriage, even if it’s because some 

heterosexuals have ruined the meaning 

of it. Straight society should focus on 

the high divorce rate and try fixing that 

before preventing homosexuals from 

getting married. Either way, I can’t 

change society but any way I can show 

my pride and support love, I will do it. 

Sally and I will commit our love 

for each other and not for a legal 

document—we will be doing it because 

we’re in love. That’s what the true 

meaning of what marriage should be. 

Are you out and proud? Thursday, 

October 11 is National Coming Out 

Day. If you’re in the closet this is a 

great time to consider coming out to 

your friends, co-workers and your 

family. It’s not always easy. If you need 

help, visit your local GLBT Community 

Center or PFLAG Chapter. Good luck! 



Fernando Hernandez 

PRESENTS 

RAINBOWS FESTIVAL 

WEEKEND 

Saturday, October 6, 2012 

11am DJ Kela 

12pm Desert Overture 

1pm Anaya Tribal 

2pm Birthday Suit Burlesque 

3pm Sisterzz Twisted 

4pm Devinography Hip Hop Jam 

5pm “Troubador Café” starring 

Kenyata White 

Special thanks to all of our sponsors! 

Sunday, October 7, 2012 

11am DJ Anthony 

12pm Dawn Bowman 

1pm Tracey Rappa & the Heat 

2pm Freddy’s Spotlight @ Rainbows 

2:20pm Phoenix Pride Royalty 

3pm “Stop Blowin” 

3:10pm Phoenix Heatwave 

3:30pm Barbra Seville’s Phoenix Phollies 


DRIVE 

YOU 

WILD 

ES and Addicted Brands 

available at TU Collection 

by Tan United 

4700 N. Central Ave. 

Ste. 114, Phoenix 

602-274-TANU 






Be the diva! 

Respect yourself, don’t binge drink. 

Be Safe Out 


Learn more at: 

www.facebook.com/safeout 

This program is funded through Magellan Health Services of Arizona.






Colby Melvin’s 

by Deon Brown 

photos by Devin Mitchell 

video 84 www.IONAZ.com stills from FullFrontalFreedom.com 

October 2012 

by Deon Brown 

Full 

Disclosure 

(Well, Almost.)

In case you haven’t noticed, it’s 

election time. And it’s a big one. An 

important one. We’re electing our 

President of the United States of 

America. 

People argue. Back and Forth. Pro 

and Con. Flip and Flop. But 

on the bright side, whether 

you’re Democrat or 

Republican (wait, scratch 

that), Libertarian, 

Independent or even 

a Tea Party member, 

(well, maybe not them 

either), just about 

everybody can get 

behind the video that 

went viral, “Disclosure,” 

from the scantily clad 

West Hollywood novelty 

Go-Go Boy Band called 

Wrong Direction with a catchy 

song parodying the controversial 

Romney campaign, set to the tune of 

One Direction’s hit, “That’s What Makes 

You Beautiful.” Speaking of beautiful, 

who can resist watching stunning, 

shimmying stars of WeHo’s celebrated 

boy boxes—many of them Andrew 

Christian underwear models—Colby 

Melvin, Quinn C. Jaxon, David Brackett, 

Brandon R. Brown, Johnathan Myers 

— all workin’ it poolside, Beverly Hills 

90210 style? 

The faux “band’s” frontman Colby 

Melvin, 24, is a lot more than just a 

pretty face. And that’s a real pretty face, 

too. Raised in Breaux Bridge, Louisiana, 

Colby earned a college degree, then 

worked in Houston, Texas for British 

Petroleum. Colby’s gone from cleaning 

up the Gulf’s oil spills to the high life of 

the Hollywood Hills! 

“I’m not necessarily passionate about 

elections, but what I am passionate about 

is equality,” Colby said. “This affects 

everybody. It affects things like marriage 

and giving blood. I believe in philanthropy 

and giving back when I can. I’ve had my 

own share of ups and downs. That’s why 

I want to get involved.” And 

not only is the easy-onthe-eyes 

Colby the 

toast of Tinseltown; 

when he’s not 

showing off his 

famous—umm— 

assets at West 

Hollywood’s 

fashionable 

watering hole, 

The Abbey, or 

hawking underwear 

for Andrew 

Christian, Colby is 

the spokesmodel for 

Full Frontal Freedom, who 

produced the hunktacular video. Not bad 

for a guy who just came out two years 

ago. 

The video producer Full Frontal Freedom 

is a coalition of independent artists 

and media executives who want to use 

talent and creativity to raise awareness 

and enhance civil discussion and 

engagement. Full Frontal Freedom is 

an independent progressive movement 

and they’re not affiliated with, endorsed 

or sponsored by any state campaign, 

anywhere. 

“We recognize that with creativity, 

innovation, passion and the power which 

comes from being on the right side of 

history, we can change hearts and minds 

in our favor,” said Conor Gaughan of Full 

Frontal Freedom. The testosterone-treat 


had 

3.25 million views on 

YouTube at press time. 

“We’re thrilled and humbled with the 

success of Wrong Direction’s ‘Disclosure.’ 

It has struck a chord, and we’re glad 

that we could contribute to the discourse 

through our uniquely fun approach,” 

continued Conor. “We hope young voters 

are entertained, educated, and engaged 

enough to vote this November.” 

Phoenix photographer Devin Mitchell 

worked closely with Colby to create the 

“comic book” concept shown here to help 

encourage young people to register to 

vote and exercise their privilege because 

“voting is sexy.” 

“Seeing Colby’s video inspired me to 

make a ‘comic strip’ with him. He’s 

very in touch with what’s happening 

and likes to incorporate that into his 

image. He’s smart. He’s very aware 

of what’s going on around him,” Devin 

explained. “There’s something about 

Colby that inspires me; he needs no 

direction. Colby’s just as creative as he is 

intelligent. I always 

make it a point to take pictures of him 

whenever I’m in L.A.” 

After photographing some of the best 

of Phoenix’s own movers, shakers 

and bevies of beaux and beauties, 

Devinography recently expanded to 

Southern California market. “The coolest 

thing about working in L.A. is that you 

can just reach out and pick subject 

matter. It’s everywhere! My work is 

growing so much after starting only one 

year ago.” 

Visit FullFrontalFreedom.com for anti- 

PAC information and remember to VOTE. 

Discover how you can get a glamorous 

image of “you.” Schedule an appointment 

with Devin Mitchell at Devinography.com 

Check out Colby Melvin because he’s, 

well, like, he’s Colby Melvin. Go to 

ColbyMelvin.com. Now! If you catch him 

at The Abbey, tell him ION sent you—and 

tip him. 

We won’t tell you who to vote for. That’s 

your decision. But stop and think about 

who’ll work for you while Overcoming 

Barriers Affecting Most of America. 





In Memoriam 

Girard DeMuro 

Stylist, Son, 

Musician, Friend, 

Starmaker. 


Photos by Fernando Hernandez | Art by Tom King & Kevin Bushaw. 

Starring Miss Gay Arizona USofA Saellah V. & Miss Gay Arizona America Diva. 

Featuring Toby Yatso 

Costumes & Props provided by Easley’s Fun Shop - 509 West McDowell Road, Phoenix. 

Leather gear (on the cover) provided by The Antique Marketplace & Root Seller - 

3343 North 7th Avenue, Phoenix.


A Midnight Snack 

Toby and the delicious Diva 



Lucky Number 13 

Camp Counselor Diva better beware! 

It’s a slasher! Saellah V. makes murder look sexy. 


your new tires, brakes & other services 

COMMUNITYTIREPROS.COM 

#560 mention this scary ad and get $20 off your next visit until 11.31.2012 


Shitagi Nashi 

School bullys (or muggers) 

are no problem for Diva! 



Psycho Drag Killer 

”Saellah might’ve fooled me, 

but she didn’t fool my mother!” 



Army of Dragness 

Evil Saellah pounces on Toby, 

“You found me beatuful once!” 


Watch Your Children Around Axes 

“Little Diva took an axe, 

and gave her mother 40 whacks. 

When Toby saw what she had done, 

she turned and gave him 41.” 


all that 

GLITTERS 

A GALA BENEFIT FOR 

Living without fear, shame or isolation. 

SATURDAY, NOV. 3RD 

CROWNE PLAZA AIRPORT 

4300 E. WASHINGTON STREET • PHOENIX ARIZONA 85034 

DOORS AT 6PM 

SCAN THIS CODE 

TO BUY YOUR 

104 www.IONAZ.com TICKETS October TODAY! 2012

A-Doll-A-Makes-Me-Holla 

Look out, cuz this Diva doll 

will give you more than just 

a boo-boo, Honey! 


Fangs For the Memories 

Sellah V. recalls the time when 

Victorian Vampires wore patterns like 

this historically accurate houndstooth.

Beware! The last house on the left ... 

the psychopathic killer who escaped from 

the asylum ... that weird dude who sat 

next to you on the Light Rail last week. 

You’ll find all of these zombies, freaks, 

monsters and weirdos at haunted houses 

across the Valley and Tucson. Here’s a 

list of fright factories that’ll—well—scare 

the pants off of you. 

13th Floor Haunted 

House - Phoenix 

Two epic, haunted 

attractions take you 

to shocking levels 

of graphic, intense, 

psychological thrills and 

horror. Yikes! 2814 W. Bell 

Rd., located in the Bell Canyon Pavilion 

Shopping Center behind Hooters at 1-17 

and Bell Rd. Go to 13thFloorAZ.com for 

more. 

Jack & Jill’s Haunted 

Hill - Phoenix 

The legendary couple 

was never heard 

from again once they 

stumbled upon an 

abandoned mine. Find 

out what happened at 

4237 W. Thunderbird Rd. Go 

to JackandJillsHauntedHill.com for more 

thrills—if you dare. 

Chambers of Fear - 

Surprise 

Spine-chilling horror, 

including the Hillbilly 

Nightmare & Den of 

Darkness in over 25,000 

square feet of terror with 

three haunted houses at 

one location. 11340 W. Bell Rd. Five 

minutes west of Arrowhead Mall. Go to 

Chambersoffear.com for more. 

The Crypt & The 

Asylum - Mesa 

Two fright factories in one at 

Fiesta Mall. That’s pretty scary 

in itself! 1445 W. Southern Ave. in Mesa, 

off the US-60, at the Alma School Rd. 

exit. Go to HauntedAZ.com for details. 

Dark Scares - Mesa 

You’ll get the screaming-meemies at this 

spot, featured at the Black Mirror Casino. 

Voted one of the Best Haunts by Arizona 

Foothills Magazine. 1601 N. Dobson Rd. 

near the Loop 202 At Mesa Riverview. 

Go to DarkScares.com for more bloodcurdling 

information, if you dare. 

The Nest - Chandler 

The Legend of Killer Kell. ABC News 

and Good Morning America calls this 

venue the Spookiest Place in America. 

Experience the terror at Rawhide. 5700 

W. North Loop Rd. Chandler. For hours, 

tickets, coupons and info, visit 

Frightened.com. 

The Slaughter 

House - Tucson 

Tucson’s scariest! Fear 

and terror show no 

mercy here! You might 

wet your pants. Find 

uncontrolled mayhem at 

1102 W. Grant Rd. Visit 

TheSlaughterhouseTucson. 

com for more hours & info. 

Scared? You should be! 

Buckelew Farm: Terror 

in the Corn - Tucson 

Your worst nightmare: No, not Courtney 

Love. A dark, foggy cornfield in the middle 

of the night. You’ll be gasping for breath, 

scaredy-pants. 17000 W. Ajo Way. Go to 

BucklewFarm.com or call 520-822-2277. 



Totally Ripped 

“Ripper? I hardly know her!”


OCTOBER 2012 Vol. 6, Issue 5 

OUTRAGEOUS! 

ANY Unfair RESEMBLANCE and TO unbalanced. THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY We decide. ACCIDENTAL 

City Council Keeps Fluoride In 

Water. Adding Ecstasy Soon. 

OUTRAGEOUS! 

PHOENIX—In 1980 the City of Phoenix 

added fluoride to the water, reducing 

cavities by 20 to 40 percent and reducing 

unnecessary dental costs by $38 per resident 

per year. This action has been a huge 

OUTRAGEOUS! 

disappointment to dentists across the Valley, 

as you can imagine. 

Over 1.4 million people are affected by the 

city’s fluoridated water at an annual cost to 

the city of about $600,000 annually. After a 

hotly contested debate whether to maintain 

fluoridation, the Phoenix City Council 

elected to retain the additive. 

mood-altering social drug Ecstasy to the city’s 

water supplies.” 

Ecstasy, or “molly” usually contains the 

chemical MDMA. This drug induces euphoria, 

a heightened sense of intimacy and diminished 

anxiety when taken. It is used in some 

psychotherapeutic settings as well as raves and 

dance parties. 

ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL 

“We think Ecstasy will greatly curtail instances 

of domestic violence, murders, road rage and 

other violent confrontations,” explained one 

City Council member. “Overcrowding in the 

jails will just result in one big cuddle puddle.” 

“As a matter of fact,” said one anonymous 

Phoenix City Council insider, “with the 

OUTRAGEOUS! 

success of city residents’ dental hygiene due 

to fluoridation, we plan to add the synthetic 

Ecstasy will be introduced into the water 

supply at the cost of $38 per resident per year. 

Glow sticks and candy pacifiers are extra. 


May 2012 www.IONAZ.com 111

I know mine. 

Do you know yours? 

KNOW 

YOURS 

Get tested. 

swhiv.org/POKE 

A Project of 

JOIN US AT RAINBOWS 

FESTIVAL - OCT 6 & 7 

Additional Funding provided by Ryan White Parts A & C and Maricopa County 

Department of Public Health. Funding provided by the Federal Department of 

Health and Human Services Administration, the Ryan White HIV/AIDS Treatment 

Extension 112 www.IONAZ.com Acot of 2009, the Maricopa October County Business 2012 Strategies and 

Health Care Programs Department and Maricopa Integrated Health System.

OUTRAGEOUS! 

Gay Haunted House 

Terrifies, Horrifies! 

W. HOLLYWOOD 

— When the frost is 

on the pumpkin and 

OUTRAGEOUS! 

Halloween comes, you 

can count on trick-ortreaters, 

ghost stories 

OUTRAGEOUS! 

and lots of fake blood. 

But in West 

Hollywood, America’s 

Gayest City, things are 

a little bit different. 

You won’t find any 

withered hags, old 

crones, or rotting 

corpses. You’ll find 

glamorous ghosts of 

long gone movie stars, 

fake Britney Spears 

wannabees and hunky 

boys dressed as, well, 

OUTRAGEOUS! 

hunky boys. 

But nothing is more spine-tingling and 

bone chilling than a Gay haunted house. 

ANY West Hollywood has their first TO haunted 

ANY RESEMBLANCE TO THE THE TRUTH TRUTH IS IS TRAGICALLY ACCIDENTAL 

house on Fairfax Avenue. There will be 

scary noises and sound effects—mostly 

coming from Liza Minnelli’s last album— 

and a wicked witch who looks remarkably 

like today’s Madonna and decorated with 

lots of Jonathan Adler pieces. The “spirits” 

who populate the Tinseltown fright factory 

called “The Fairfax Bitch Project” are 

mostly out-of-work actors who wait tables 

OUTRAGEOUS! 

or work at Pinkberry. But you won’t hear 

them moaning and groaning or shouting, 

“Boo!” Oh no. These 

Gay goblins will scare 

you like you’ve never 

been scared before. 

And they don’t need 

costumes. 

“Girrrrl! Look at those 

Crocs! Where did you 

get those? Marshall’s?” 

one ghoul chided. 

“That dress looks 


really good on ... on 

fire, that is!” goaded 

another mean spirit to 

an unwary visitor. 

“It’s like nothing I’ve 

experienced before!” 

sobbed one frightened 

customer. “That bitch 

in there wearing 

Tom’s told me that my hair looked like it 

was done by someone at a VoTech school in 

Compton!” cried another. 

“We find that reading someone scares the shit 

out of ‘em a lot more than rattling chains,” 

said Chance Barlow-Baines, manager and 

part-time escort. “Bitch, you do not want to 

come in here wearing Ed Hardy.” 

The Fairfax Bitch Project is located at 628 

N. Fairfax Ave. You think you can afford 

admission? Look in your fake Gucci wallet 

for a credit card that isn’t maxed out. 




OUTRAGEOUS! 

Druids Outraged 

Over “Innocence of 

OUTRAGEOUS! 

Oak Trees” Film. 

OUTRAGEOUS! 

STONEHENGE, 

England — 

Druidic priests’ 

passions are 

inflamed over 

an incendiary 

film produced 

and broadcast on 

YouTube wherein 

in large forests 

are cleared for 

development 

by logging 

companies. 

Druids all over the 

OUTRAGEOUS! 

United Kingdom 

are calling for a religious war and a bounty 

on the person who created the film. 

ANY “This is a slap in the face to TO Druids THE all TRUTH been IS like. Free Druid Mistletoe will be 


over the world,” said Lord Vortigern, also 

known as Bruce Cranston, 32, a postal 

carrier. “I shall call on the great Goddess 

Abellio, protectress of the sacred apple 

tree, to smite them!” There hasn’t been 

a good smiting in southern England in 

several centuries. “This revolution will 

grow like a mighty oak tree from a tiny 

acorn! Even if it takes a hundred years. 

OUTRAGEOUS! 

Hopefully not that long, however.” 

Lord 

Vortigern 

(Bruce) has 

a Facebook 

page and 

rounding up 

the other two 

Druids, Lady 

Deersblood 

(Cindy Plogg) 

and the Grand 

Sorcerer 

Fred (Alfred 

Borroughs) 

from 

Bournemouth 


to take the train up to historic site next 

Saturday where they will stage a recreation 

of what a Druid protest might have possibly 

offered to supporters. Apple cider available 

with freewill donation. 

Angus Maginty and his Randy Scotsmen will 

be performing at the Eelhouse Pub ‘n’ Grub 

at 7 p.m. No cover charge. 





y Rob Hoffman 

robshof@aol.com 

Ah, Halloween. The 

most anti-sacred 

of days. I love it. 

Always have. 

Always will. I 

don’t know 

if it’s the 

dressing 

up 

or the 

taking 

on of 

a completely different 

persona, or 

getting 

away with 

something I 

couldn’t normally get 

away with on any 

other day, but something 

about Halloween is fabulous! 

When I was a child my mother 

bought boxed costumes 

for my sisters and me. My 

sisters, being twins, usually 

got the same costumes. One 

of my favorites was when 

my mom bought my sisters 

giant screaming baby 

masks that covered their 

whole bodies. 

My sisters always had 

better costumes than 

me. They got to be 

super spies with blond 

hair and pretty, blue capes. I was a 

crummy Indian with a headdress made 

out of cardboard. My sisters were ugly, 

green witches, complete with 

brooms and cauldrons for 

gathering goodies while 

out trick-or-treating. I 

was a ghost with 

a plastic sheet. 

My sisters 

were beatniks 

with long, 

flowing blond 

hair, black and 

white tights, berets 

and long cigarette 

holders. I was a 

goblin with a plastic 

mask and outfit 

that didn’t quite 

reach my knees. I 

envied my sisters 

on those long-ago 

Halloweens and I 

think that turned 

me into a true 

Halloween lover. 

When I went 

away to college 

I made it a point 

to come up with 

a breathtaking 

costume for the 

annual costume 

party. One year 

I transformed 

myself into a 

skeletal zombie 

complete with 

long, stringy 

black hair, white 

skin and six inch 

black fingernails. 

Another year I dressed 

up as Colonel Mustard from the board 

game “Clue”—complete with books from 


the conservatory, the lead pipe, and Mr. 

Body in tow. And yet another year, I was 

a jack-in-the-box, with a hand-crank that 

played music before I popped out. I won 

“Best Costume” all three of those years. 

God, I was so queer. 

After I graduated from school I didn’t 

have much of an opportunity to dress 

up. Oh, sure, the bar I frequented had 

an annual costume party, but I was 

more interested in hooking up than 

dressing up, so I only dressed up a 

couple of times, once as a witch with 

green skin and a nose-wart (I think I 

was harking back to the year my sisters 

were witches and I was so green with 

envy), and once as a werewolf, with 

brown hair growing out of my face, on 

my hands and through the holes in my 

jeans. No one recognized me, and no 

one wanted to hook up with me either 

time. 

After those couple of excursions in the 

world of Gay-bar costuming, I gave it 

up to concentrate on finding someone 

to spend the night with. More often 

than not, back in those days, I was 

successful. Once again, I’d abandoned 

my love of dress-up. Of course, I’d find 

that groove again later when I started 

my Halloween drag phase....but that’s 

a story for another time. And another 

shade of eyeshadow. 

_ 

Robert Hofmann is the author of three 

books, Surrounded by Insanity, An 

Ordinary Madness, and his latest, One 

Brain Cell Away from Retarded. He 

lives in Wilton Manors, Florida, with his 

partner of 16 years and welcomes email 

from readers at robshof@aol.com. 

Phoenix 

602.993.4567 

Tucson 

520.791.2345 

Tell-A- 

Friend 

REWARDS 

FREE to listen & reply to ads! 

FREE CODE: IONAZ 

For other local numbers call: 

1-888-MegaMates TM 

24/7 Customer Care 1(888) 634.2628 18+ ©2012 PC LLC 2344 





I B T ’ s



y Addison DeWitt 

Extra! Extra! 

Read all about it! 

Or not. Everybody’s 

favorite Facebook Pin- 

Up Boy and this July’s 

ION Arizona cover dish Trevor Grant 

(pictured, top) celebrated a birthday 

for his first score of years (that 

translates into 20) at Scottsdale’s 

Club Afterlife recently. That means an 

entire club of young whippersnappers 

jacked up on Big Gulps of Pepsi and 

Skittles with their burgeoning, out-ofcontrol 

hormones crowded into a 

club with lots of requisite squealing 

and shrieking as they fêted 

the burgeoning, out-of-control 

Trevor. 

I could almost smell the baby powder in 

the air. Well, that and the overpowering 

smell of Axe Body Spray. So you can 

imagine that it was a lot like throwing 

live bait into a school of starving sharks 

with people like me there. Okay. So 

I was actually the only one “like me” 

there. 

You can imagine that before/during/ 

after the soirée there was a frenzied 

rash of Facebook postings with lots 

of “LOL’s” and emoticons, plus lots 

of commentary and eye-rolling from 

Trevor’s fabulous (and extremely 

tolerant) mother. You can’t buy this kind 

of entertainment, folks. Believe me, 

I’ve tried. Unfortunately there are laws 

preventing it. 


Here’s to the next score of 

years of Trevor “liking” his own 

Facebook posts, “duckface” 

pictures and his exasperated 

mother commenting, “Trevor!” 

Word on the street has it that the 

darling Edward Castro, our own 

King of the Queens, just may 

be harboring a crush on 

one of the baristas at the 

Starbucks on 7th Street 

and Missouri. Edward, 

how many Venti 1 pump 

caramel, 1 pump white 

mocha, 2 scoops vanilla 

bean powder, extra ice 

macchiato with 2 shots poured 

over the top (apagotto style) 

with caramel drizzle under and 

on top of the whipped cream, 

double-cupped have you been 

ordering there to keep that boy busy? 

Red Alert! Red Alert! Do not go to 

Christown Mall if you’re wearing flip-flops. 

For the second time in about a year while 

Barbra Seville was shopping as Richard 

Stevens (pictured middle) in one of their 

finer retail establishments (e.g. Walmart) 

he was accosted by a podophiliac (that’s 

someone with a foot fetish). Richard/ 

Barbra just might need to consider some 

kind of Footsie-Tootsie WebCam site for 

his many fans. Flip-flop on one foot, high 

heel on the other. Something for everyone! 

Double your money in no time, Richard! 

You’re welcome. (Foot pictured above is 

not Richard’s.) 

Speaking of Barbra Seville—there’s still 

time to sign up for AIDSwalk Phoenix and 

join Barbra Seville’s Wonderful 100. It 

all takes place in downtown Phoenix on 

Sunday, October 21. You might even get 

to see Richard’s feet.



y Sean Kapera 

SeanKaperaPhotography.com 


Beware! There might be a Boogeyman 

in your life, either at work or at home. 

But there’s no Monster under the bed, 

guaranteed. The Full Moon on the 29th is 

a Hunter’s Moon, and there’s plenty of wild 

game out there! 

Aries Mar. 21 - Apr. 20 

You’ll feel like you lived through the Night 

of the Living Dead because of a Scorpio’s 

spell. However, a secret passageway 

reveals an opportunity at home and at 

work, giving you a reward you deserve. 

Taurus Apr. 21 - May 20 

A few goblins and ghosties from your 

past will egg your metaphorical house. 

You’ll find a good solid threat to call their 

parents and tattle to their friends will have 

them backing off. You’ll teach a Scorpio a 

valuable lesson. 

Gemini May 21 - June 21 

Break all the mirrors you want! Walk under 

ladders! Let black cats cross your path! 

You lead a charmed life with no risk of bad 

luck. This month, anyway. This month. 

I’d still keep my eye on a Capricorn next 

month. They have cloven hooves. 

Cancer June 22 - July 22 

You’ll meet someone with bats in their 

belfry. A stake through the heart is a little 

extreme, but nonetheless, follow your 

instincts because the call is coming from 

inside the house. And it’s collect from an 

Aries. 

Leo July 23 - Aug. 22 

“Double, double, toil and trouble.” You’ll 

feel like casting a few spells on a few very 

deserving Tauri, Sagittarii and Librae. Be 

careful! A hex can bounce back. A Pisces 

offers you some sticky candy. That’s the 

best kind. 

Virgo Aug. 23 - Sep. 22 

What exactly happens to you when Full 

Moon rises? You are not gonna grow 

that much hair overnight and become a 

Werewolf, so relax. However, you just 

might find that you’re feeling like a wild 

animal with a Cancer. Grrrr! 

Libra Sep. 23 - Oct. 22 

You’ve got a “ghoulfriend” who’s “gravely” 

concerned about you. Look in the 

mirror and see who looks back. If it’s 

your birthday, get out of that coffin and 

celebrate! A Pisces makes your heart race. 

Relax. You know you’re not a vampire. 

Scorpio Oct. 23 - Nov.23 

Feeling like a witch or a warlock? Want 

to turn someone into a newt? Use your 

powers for good and if it’s your birthday, 

bake a cake, throw a party, and play music 

so loud it’ll, well, “wake the dead.” A Virgo 

is under your spell. 

Sagittarius Nov. 23 - Dec. 23 

Lately you feel like the Mummy: you’ve 

been all “tied up.” Things begin to “unravel” 

for you early in the month, thanks to a Libra 

who helps you “unwrap” a complicated 

situation. 

Capricorn Dec. 23 - Jan. 20 

You’ll come across a few things that go 

bump in the night, but don’t be afraid. 

A not-so-ghostly encounter turns into 

something frightfully fabulous mid-month. A 

Pisces wants to “bob for apples.” That’s a 

euphemism for something naughty. 

Aquarius Jan. 21 - Feb. 19 

You’re totally unprepared for any kind of 

Zombie Apocalypse or even a White Sale 

at Macy’s. You’re feeling skittish lately, but 

don’t let a little “Boo!” scare you. A Leo 

gives you a trick and a treat. 

Pisces Feb. 20 - Mar. 20 

It’s close to midnight and something evil’s 

lurking in the dark ... It’s not a “Thriller,” but 

only a family member who keeps creeping 

up from behind and terrorizing you. The 

threat will vanish with the light of day. A 

Taurus calms you down.

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