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Parker decided to attend both Sunday services to
appear even more pious. He began to sit in the
front pew at church and took to carrying a huge
Bible with him. Since he had yet to see a patient
in his office, he began to volunteer for all of the
tasks in the church. Parker also assisted with the
services and taught Sunday school—anything
to make them think he was an ideal citizen. As
Parker put it, “I was determined to be ethical at
all costs.” Six weeks after opening his office, he
still had not seen a single patient.
Hope finally arrived in the shape of a local sign
painter who Parker knew hated his dentures.
Parker offered to make him new dentures in exchange
for a sign for the practice. The painter
wanted Parker to make the dentures
first so he could try them,
and then he would make the
sign. Parker agreed since he was
out of money. The painter loved
the dentures and, with much
appreciation, made a huge new
sign with gold paint for Parker’s
practice. Parker was somewhat
embarrassed by its size, so he instructed
the painter to put it up
at night so no one would see. The
next day Parker expected there to be
a line of patients around his office, but it
never materialized. In fact, when Parker showed up
to work the next day, he found the sign was missing! Later that
day, he found it nailed to the train station’s outhouse door, most likely by
one of the town’s other dentists. Embarrassed to be seen taking the sign down, Parker once again waited for the cloak
of night to remove his sign and replace it at work. His sign attracted one patient in his first 90 days of practice, a tourist
who needed an extraction. Parker removed the tooth and charged him one dollar ($21 in the present day, adjusted
for inflation). The patient only had 75 cents with him, but Parker was happy to take the money and finally get paid for
performing dentistry.
Parker saw fire and brimstone preachers on the street corner converting people with their vivid descriptions of hell,
messages that were considered socially acceptable. He just could not believe why it was unethical to preach the importance
of taking care of your teeth, and the “hell” that awaited you if you became edentulous.
Armed with an aqueous solution of cocaine he called “hydrocaine,” Parker takes his message to the street corner offering
painless extractions for 50 cents. He promised that if the extraction hurt, he would pay the patient five dollars! That
first night he extracted 12 teeth and didn’t have to give anyone the five dollars, which he found surprising because he
ran out of hydrocaine after the seventh patient!
While I certainly wouldn’t want to follow in Parker’s footsteps, I was drawn into the story of his personal struggles.
Parker starts his practice with dignity, but soon finds that dignity won’t pay the bills. Unlike most dentists, he finds he
likes being a dentist and a salesman at the same time, and this drives his decision to take the story of preventive dentistry
straight to the people.
This is on my required reading list for all dentists, young and old.
One of the authors, Dr. Arden G. Christen, has limited copies of the book available for purchase, although “The Early Adventures of Painless Parker” is technically out of
print. Contact Dr. Christen at achriste@iupui.edu to request a copy.
Book Review: The Early Adventures of Painless Parker15