Flower Crown Magazine: Issue 2

young woman, which
she eagerly embraces.”
(Borgia, “Twilight:
The Glamorization of
Abuse, Codependency,
and White Privilege”)
In 50 shades of gray,
Christian Grey’s backstory
of having an
abusive “crack whore”
mother, motivated
Anastasia Steele to
fix him emotionally.
Grey had an aggressive
manner of this,
especially since Steele
source:latimes
seems to have little sexual-identity
before him. Not only does this encourage conditional
relationships, but also a very warped perception
of the BDSM community and most importantly- consent.
A study in the Journal of Women’s Health by Amy E.
Bonomi, PhD and several others at Michigan State
University, classifies the connection between health and
popular media depicting violence against women. In this
case, 50 Shades of Grey was used as the prime example.
The study analyzed college students’ survey with how
much of the book they read. It was found that one third
of the subjects that read the book were more likely to
have experienced a form of abuse or victimization.
What does this tell us? Well, the article following the
experiment states:
“Problematic depictions of violence against women in
popular culture—such as in film, novels,
music, or pornography—create a broader social narrative
that normalizes these risks and behaviors in women’s
lives…E.L. James insists that she wrote Fifty Shades ‘for
fun’ to provide women with a means to openly express
their sexuality while denying concerns that Christian and
Anastasia’s relationship mimics real-world abusive relationships.”
Pop songs, too, have glamourized the concerning
issue. One Direction’s hit song “You Don’t Know You’re
Beautiful” implies that the female the song is directed to,
has the subordinate role and should rely on the speaker.
In another instance, the infamous and catchy date-rape
song Blurred Lines isn’t just a feminist nightmare because
of the sexual objectification of women. It’s main idea of
the speaker in the song presuming conditions of sexual
attractions (i.e. “You know you want it”)
Robin Thicke has shown again and again his lack of
respect through his career and so-called craft. This year
being, that he released a whole album dedicated to
getting back his ex-wife Paula. It is only a real-life case
of forced separation anxiety brought on by media driven
labels. Stalking and obsessiveness is now a trait associated
with cute.
These occurrences of co-dependency, on any partner
in the relationship (male or female) teaches that a significant
other will fulfill someone’s life. Teenage girls, in
particular, participate in these types of relationships more
than any other group because of our low emotional-intelligence.
The idea of being good, without problems is
instilled into our brains, when faced with conflict- a solution
and process to deal with it is unknown.
We usually rely on someone else to create an illusion; to
believe the conflict resolved. Far too often, the dilemmas
are something such as loneliness, the usual teenage
coming-of-age trope. When girls and young women get
caught up in said relations, it becomes a cycle- a difficult
one to break from.
The self-esteem and understanding of self-worth from
young women and girls can become compromised; as
well as their own safety. When “No” is confused with
“Convince Me”, one party starts taking charge regardless
of consent.
When this sort of power dynamic is settled between two
people, the possibility of rejection leads to aggravation,
frustration, and as it has been proven: violence. The type
of violence can range from directly affecting one individual,
to on a much more massive scale.
Some publicized accounts of said situations include: Elliot
Rodger’s UCSB massacre, Maren Sanchez’s death over
a prom date refusal, Miss Wu beaten to death for not
giving out her phone number to a group of men, and