Flower Crown Magazine: Issue 2

experience sexual assault in their lifetime and 1 in 33 for
men. You never know who is a victim or a survivor of sexual
violence, by humoring rape you are silencing victims
and survivors and belittling a very troubling experience.
You cannot assume someone was not sexually assaulted;
there is no look one has for it, it cannot be seen and is
not something people put out in conversation. You can
know someone for years and still not know that part of
their lives. Also when using rape jokes you may never
know if you are talking to an abuser or rapist and those
‘harmless jokes’ then become a justification, encouragement,
or an excuse for continuing their behavior.
The media, but let’s give a couple of examples:
Music:
We’ve seen the controversy of Robin Thicke’s “Blurred
Lines” (which is pretty much sexual harassment set to
a groove), Rick Ross’s creepy verse in “U.O.E.N.O.” (“Put
a molly in her drink and she ain’t even know it.), and
Miguel’s “How Many Drinks?” (which is about Miguel
pondering about how much alcohol he needs to ply a
woman with in order to get her to go home with him.) I
still hear “Blurred Lines” and “How Many Drinks” on the
radio. Are they catchy, yes; to be honest I had a hard
time understanding the controversy of the two songs,
because I didn’t catch it the first time I heard the song.
“Blurred Lines” sounds fun and cute. Miguel’s “How Many
Drinks” sounds sexy, and “U.N.E.N.O.” has a great beat
behind it (which is why it has several different remixes to
it.) But unfortunately there is a simplicity here: What we
put in effects what we put out. It may not happen now,
but eventually it can obscure our thinking.
The celebrities we excuse:
R. Kelly has been in the news repeatedly for his statutory
rape cases, but people still encourage the man by separating
him from his music. Obviously, who people are and
what they do as their profession are different, but people
are still accountable for their actions. Excusing someone
who is a celebrity or well-known for their work and negatively
viewing the victim especially without listening to
them is not acceptable.
Rape jokes:
Rape jokes may not seemingly be harmful, but they are
and they’re very encouraging towards rape culture. They
belittle what it is and make fun of or blame the victim.
There is a huge fraction of women who have been
victims of sexual violence and there are some men as
well. To my understanding it is 1 out of 4 women who will
As mentioned earlier, it can have so many effects. People
who are not educated about rape tend to unknowingly
victim blame by asking questions that imply one could’ve
done something different to avoid their experience.
People can be judgmental. No matter how unpleasant a
person is, no matter how someone dresses or acts, what
risks they take, it is never acceptable. In American society
we teach women from when they are young to always
be conscious of not getting raped. Women cannot wear
certain things, we cannot be alone with boys, we can’t
be out late at night, especially alone. e always need to
be aware when walking to our cars or homes, we need
to be aware of men and their body language. Don’t
allow a man into our houses when we are alone, be in
the company of a man you trust, when sleeping over a
friends house stay close to the friend. Don’t drink too
much, don’t allow yourself to be under the influence of
alcohol or drugs. Unconsciously we’ve been conditioned
to always worry about the possibility of being sexually
assaulted. But men are never taught not to rape. What
precautions do men have to go through in order to prevent
thinking it’s okay to sexually assault someone?