Articles Book III - Pg 1300-1479 (Reunions etc) - triadoption

nlost arc plcascd lo cooperate and 

give updated infornlalion. But locating 

parcnts can IIC difficult or impossible. 

Tl~e tccnagc moll~cr who gave her 

cllild for adoption 20 years ago may 

havc married and moved on. Nanlcs 

and places of rcsidc~~cc may cl~a~~gc 

and change again. 

Ihoplc whose atloptions were arranged 

i~~dependently (tl~rou~l~ the cfforts 

of a doctor, la\c*yer or religious 

leader, for cxnmplc, rather than m 

agency) l~av extra difficulty in lcarning 

about tl~cir past. Says Wyoming's 

Slcinbcrg, "Oftcn, tl~cse pcoplc cotnc 

toour agency because they l~avclleard 

of ll~c sentices wc give lo our adoptive 

parents and adoptcd children, and they 

arc hoping against llope Illat we can 

meet Illeir desperate nced to know. 

Their reasons for searcl~ing are psycl~ologicnl 

as well as medical. We try 

loobtain infomation for Illem becatrsc 

we feel it is in ll~c adoptce's bcst interest." 

But not will^ n~ucl~ luck: "Our 

lack ofsucccss has bcen nolal~lc." 

Stcinberg and mcmbers of his staff 

ask for wl~atcvcr infornlation is availaof 

a possible predisposition to alcoholism 

can be critical in shaping tl~e drinkble-name 

of tla adoptec, birthday, ing habits of tllc adopted person. 

birtllplace, name of ll~e doctor-and To obtain ll~c actual birth records, 

thcn try to track down the doctor. "A tile eager or anxious adoptce may atlot 

of Iimcs," Stcinberg says, "!be find 

that the doctor lias left thc area, or llas 

tenlpt to bypass the agency. Tl~e likclihnod 

of success is not good. Since 

retircd, or docsn't respond; or Illat l ~e adoption laws vary from state lo slate, 

no longcr 118s records of thc adoption. 

"\Ye also have come across cascs in 

which doctors had falsified records 

about tl~c parenls'backgrour~d in ordcr 

to get the child placed. In one, the 

doctor l~ad prcscl~tcd ll~c cllild as 

nortller~l European, wl~crcas wc knew 

Illat boll^ tllc biological nloll~cr and falllcr 

wcrc of Spanisl~-American backmou~ld." 

It is not rare to fill11 Illat 

people llavc llidde~~ i~~fonnatiorl about 

a fartrily l~istoly that i~~cludes mcntal 

your luck may depend on whcrc you 

arc. In Kansas, tl~e records arc relatively 

open; in Hawaii, tllcy'rc not. 

Uesidqs that, Ia\vs scldom are clcnr 

about wlmt inforn~ntion or records arc 

scaled, and who may l~ave access. In 

Louisiana, for cxa~~~plc, ndoptccs wllo 

arc at least25 ycars old may cl~oosc lo 

llavc tl~c~r~sclvcs listed on a slatcwidc 

rcfiislry. If birlll parents also rcdtitcr 

ll~cir \villi~lgtless lo be rcachcd, cxcl~a~lgcs 

of information or reunions 

illness or alcol~olisn~. Yet k~~owlcdgc may be possible. In Pcnnsylva~~ia, tl~c 

G8 

Keeler-Wolf, llke mmy other 

adoptees, Nret felt the need to 

trace her biologlc hletory 

whsn ehe becGe prcanint. 

66 We feel we live 

in the ominous 

shadow of an 

unknown past $3

adoption law does not allow disclosure turned to searclllng to make the conof 

any material on the original adoption ncction. 1\11 tl~ree finally succeeded: 

proceedings, but the vital statistics "After determining that 1 would no 

law allows any adoptee to get a copy of longer live in the shadows of not knowthe 

original birth certificate by writing ing my inl~crited and medical birth 

for it to the Bureau of Vital Statistics. I~istory," says Nancy Sitterly, "I 

Increasingly, adoptees who want to scarcl~ed for and found my birth 

611d out about tl~enlselves have bccn motl~er. The agency bad told me there 

taking matters into their own hands. was no history of cancer in my family. 

They may act 011 their own. They may Of course not. The 21-year-old who 

band togetl~cr to form registries like surrer~dcred me had bccn line. But 

the l~~ten~ational Hcunion Redstry. w11c11 I met my moll~cr, I learned that 

tv11icl1 operates out of Nevada, or the her sister, my aunt, died of cancer at 

Adoptces Liberty Moven~cnt Association 

(ALhlA) registry, based in New 

York. Or they may turn to detectives 

to makc the biological cor~nection. 

Nancy Sitterly, anxious about can- 

ccr, Susan Iinmmo~~d, anxious about 

dcab~css, and Lorrair~e Dusky, nnx. 

ious about anti-miscarriage pills, all 

Anrr~iran i/rallh SrplrmbrrlOrlobrr 'dW 

the age of 38, and that the allerdes 

I've s~~ffered from since Lira was born 

are the same as those that afflict my 

moll~er. I can now fill in the blanks on 

my medical forms." Nancy's daughter 

is now an active, he;~llhy teenager. 

Strsnl~ fiarnmond, now 31, learned 

tl~nt her l~earit~g problems ore jienctic 

in origin. When she met her biological 

parents, they told her that her patcrnal 

gm~~dfatl~cr died when he was I1 bccause 

he didn't hear a train coming. 

No\' tl~nt llan~n~ond knows more 

about the progressive nature 01 her 

family ailment, she is learning to lipread. 

Her five-year-old datrgl~tcr also 

has a hearing problem that, in all probability, 

is.genetic. tlammond also discovered 

n family history of cancer, 

parliculnrly breast cancer: "Almost 

every fc~nale relative on my fatl~er's 

side had it." Three years ago, Ilammor~d 

had a breast tumor removed. It 

was benign. "I know the doctor 

moved more quickly than he might 

have because of my medical background," 

she says. 

Lorrainc Dusky has met with hcr 

daughter, Jane, and Jane's adoptive 

parents. She has passed on ll~e information 

about the pregnancy pills. 

Jane, she learned, has suffered epilcptic 

seizures since Ute agc of six. When 

the youngster's doctor wrote the 

aaency . . for medical information, he did 

not receive a reply. Jane's adoptive 

parents told Lorraine that they had 

been concerned about mental illncss in 

Jane's family. Now that they know 

Jane's background, they are easier in 

their minds. Jane is easicr, too. fiospitalized 

29 times between the ages of 

six and 12, she has not had a seizure 

for tl~ree years. 

For a long time, secrecy seemed 

the protective heart of adoption. 

Many people now believe that openness 

can make the institution livable. 

It allows a person to know much more 

about the strcngtl~s and v~rlnerabilities 

of the pl~ysicnl self Illat set the terms 

and limits upon lifc. 

V 

Clnire nern~nn is tlrr ediltornfAdofiti011 

Rrbo~i ~rneslcltrr. 

69

3Me Just Wants 1 b See 

Theonly pkturr ofS(rrlc tL) and kmyc. 

by Steve Peel 

S W Reporter 

The search has becn long. hard 

and fruitless for Lorrinc Brewer. M. 

or Todd. 

Her quest seems simple enough. 

Shejust wants to see her brother and 

sister. Out N.C, adoption laws have 

made it virtually impossible far Mn. 

Brewer to fJe step one. 

There were $wen children in the 

Eldreth clzn when Lorrinc's parents 

separated. Mrs. Brewer, the oldest. 

was 12. When her father reiused to 

give the Wiikes County Coun cus. 

tody of the children, the mun tonir 

anion to take custody, and left the 

child& in the hands of Wilkcs 

County Social Scrviccs. The usual 

lo51er humc existence ensued. with 

the children spending time in a var. 

icty of hamcs.but they remained 

close. They ~ltendcd school logether. 

When Lorrinc was I?. she re. 

turned to Ashc Cuunt), where she 

Her Brother & Slster 

Adoption Laws Bog Down Todd Woman's Search For SibIings 

was born. and she never saw her that requires* written motion hcfore Ms. Giddens has '.lrcady followyoungest 

bmthe: and sister again. the Clerk of Superior Coun, and ap- ed up on rtne lead which reportedly 

She has managed to locate her other proval from a Superior Coun Judge. placcd Rnyc in thecoastal city of Wilfour 

siblings: scattered as far as Dc. According to Wayne Roopc. Clerk minglon. So far it ir still just a lead. t 

troit and Asheville. and as near as uf Coun for Wilkes County. the For Stcvic, it is rumored that he 

~Yilkesboro. But the kafion of Ste- chnnccz of the books {or was rdop~ed by 1 preacher who 

ven Graham Eldreth. now 23.. and M,. arc, w...very. very moved to Virginia. But that. tm. has 

Raye Darlene Eldreth. 25, slill eludes slim." )el to be substantiated. So, with no 

her. 

concrete lends to go on. Ms. Giddcns' 

It is known that Loth children wert Mrs. Brewer has sought the help of agenry must search. 

adoptrJout ~f Wiltcs County around 1.ynn Giddcns founder of N.C. Adop- bnine Brewer's case is unique. 

the year 1V68. though the eran year tion lnfomati~n hchan%e. .. She is not an adoptec looking for par. 

is sketchy since adoption rmrds :re An adopter herself Ms. Giddens, ents which nlay not exist. Or waitnot 

available for public perusal. 30:of Chapcl Hill, was successful in ing to experience the trauma to tind 

-1 have 1"ed going through '!he [waling her :birth parenls. She out she wlu abandoned, or born out 

Wilkes County Social Services to try formed the argal~izatlon 10 help ofwedlock. The Nonh Carolinz adopand 

find my information that would others like herself. who are trapped tion laws rre designed to pmten 

help me find Stevic md Rase, but in their search by the binding N.C. pmple like (hut. 

the~muldn't help me." hmne says. lawslf 

(he sariai senice, had ,,pmcd Th" are Inore rllin 140 volun- For Lonine, the true incquiricr of 

tllr adonlion rcalrds. :I, vrve ME. tccrs. representing every County in the laws untold. She knows that her 

r~.-~. .~ - 

Rrewcr a lead, it would kc r mis- the state, in her organizati~~n. And tmthcr and sister exist. she just 

dcmcanor in viulalion uf N.C. adop. Ihc numbers are i(n*u.ing. I! is wants to know where. 

tion laws. through these ruluntccrc that Ms. "I'd give anything to find out 

Rcre hate becn iniranes whcrc C'iddens h~~pcr ro lctcate Lorrine's u.hcre Stcne and R~ye arc." hrrine 

the records l~ave been opened. but brother and sisler. sighs. "Anything."

For many, 

search hits 

a dead end 

Llndn Hllbun - Y96fi~J~Pfl 

RUe 

hrs the dny she, her tivo sisters 

aKd her brother were taken from 

thclr mother. 

"They came and woke us up 

obut 5 in the morning nnd took ur 

to the Jsll," Mrs. Houscsald. "I was 

xreamlng and klckln and cry. 

ing. They Just came an got us out 

of bed." 

That wm in 1911.Her mother 

p1as widowed and the fnmlly.'s sole 

murce of income was the grandfa- 

/therla government nychcck. 

.'Welfare offlcia r s in Mncnri 

County, Tcnn., sc arntcd the chlldrcn 

from tlic P r mother arrd 

clnlmed the chlldrcn wcre baing 

neglected. 

Urn. Ho~we, now 18, hns spent 

the last jo years lookin& for her 

brothers and sisters. 

"I've gone throu h every channel 

that I know of" he sntd. 

Mrs. House, who lives In the Rn. 

lelgh.Bartlett arcs, wtu 6 yeon old 

when her famlly was broken 11 . 

ller brother, LZdwnrd D. Croo R , 

Was 13 days old, and her two sintern, 

bmon IZllznbcth nnd Lnrene 

Corn Crook, were 4 and 5. Ah older 

half-brother, Wlllnrd Coley Clann- 

Jinn, was not removcd ffoin the 

home. 

Mrs. House wn9 placcd in n 10% 

fer home in McKanzle, Tcnn., but 

that fnmily never adoptaci hcr. 

. Wlien she was 18, Mrs. Housc 

acted on the assum tlon thnt her 

mother and half- ! rother still 

lived in Mlddle Tennessee. in Mawn 

County. She wns correct. Her 

.n~othcr, Dendle Cole Crook, had 

no Idea where her chiiiien were 

untll Mrs. Hol~se found her In December 

19.H. 

For the next 14 yean, until hcr 

mother'a death, Mrs. House and 

f 

slln photo: ~eck E. Clnlrdl 

Gladys House 

hcr mother searched for tho other 

childreti. They found out all kero 

ado ted through the Tcnnewee 

Chl f drsn's Ilome In Nashvllio. 

In n lettcr from the children's 

home, wrllten Aprll 22, 1952, Mrs. 

!louse wns told tlwt her two sisters 

mere ado led together and the 

.youn@er I'~rnther scpnrately. FA- 

wnrd s nome lind lwea ct~nilged to 

Jerr Lec and all were aald to be in 

R OOJ hcaltli. 

Altholtgh tlic Terinunsce Lcgls 

lature passe11 a ncw law in April 

allowl~i(l adoptces to obtnln riollidcntlflnhle 

inlurmnlton al3out 

tllclr fnrnlllen, Mrs. House cannot 

ct lhnt Informatton. The rcf11r;nl 

fs hnned on the leg01 point tliat her 

foster fnr~~lly never odoptcd her; 

so she is aot considered an adog 

tec. 

"Bacnn~e I wnsn't ndoptarl, I 

can't flnd out," she snld. "I'r e heeu 

told thnt tho only other tbln I can 

do 19 get a cnwt ordcr for t 7.1e in. 

formation. Btit you have to t.110~ 

the court of jl~risdlction to do ttiat, 

and they're -not allowed to glve 

that informatlon out. So I'm 

barred sgatn. 

"They'vr? barred me forever 

from finding out."

, . 

. . . . t , 

,. 

i 

. . 

' . ha sultplh oltha sum~ner mumin& sun wan shtlng thmu(lh the windows : rhen, on a ,c,at,&ay ,. . 

" 

Tam I st@hlend tha bedmorn. 11's a tuk L snloy, and I was humming suftlY i, Ssptambar, our attomy d m hto 

wtan 1 auld a pmnw behind me. 1 our yard with r flcn-pund haby girl. 

' .- '. It waa our ~-pupld. Sha hYI a anan@ arynsrbn M hsr 1.0. : thrue days old. I slipped my arms 

" 

." 'm, W I dd, "pu stanbd ma. h aomathln# the mutar?" mund br. 11was Ilkn embracing Cocl's 

.' "'"who . un II'she &. lendamst lltlla mlracla. Suraly, I 

*.A mld UtUa ahher went Lbwn my sphe. "Why,pu'ra 1- MThornpM.' I tho~ht, she had come ID us thmu@ 

rmLLn(l mymUamUe. 

' Cod's pmvidsnm. I waa xi (im dd. 

' 

'NO! I mean, who am I, mully?' Her Lm ww hvirtedwilha,dsspsnlbn I'd nwcr ,d I h.d bmn pWhg jm."~kp" ahm 

bhra Jeen lham. 

' my ~ri'h@! 17 pM bafhl. 

My, huaband Ray and I h.15 adolmd Lbn. Whan alm WM low: \M hdaaplrinml I 1.t~ adqtfon ,.pan wm locM in 

.Irrdoptbn to her. Ewrainca sha had b a W am Uaha uMfantood that we loral th, at ~ . y oh, ' ~ but arsn lhsy 

tarclcaply and nmpbloly. Somelirnea L had wlshed aha would ba mom demon- I Mmasbn&rthmad.fcrlhsytarsody 

a mulcn in herlorsfmu. bu~ she ludalwaynbesnawondarlul~Nld.md~~UtU~ 

.. . fun@ 

. . 

of thm had htan my conrtnnt joy. . .. ., >~:..:+

.- .......... 

I 

i 

wnfro~ttnliun in the ladmom. I began 

lo ilw wilh a gnamng bar lhat I could 

bst~ iny prachus child. 

hb nmr hnw what Inwepad LLuI's 

audden obsesabn with lindlns lmr nalwal 

modlac All wa hn~w wan thsl she 

Nmtnagud fur her birth certUicate and 

Cuund it in our old lnlnlle clock. then 

dhd the doclorwho dslivsmd hecSho 

cnlled the lawyer. She called fanlily 

fmndn. Ewn whan aha diacwmd her 

birth mconls at the courtttouw sealed, 

she didlr't #im up. 

s tlnw went on, Wsa became nron? 

A anrww and innecum. ller achudwr* 

sulhmcl, tlarallil~~de rowan1 Ray 

and me. hut eapoclally me. was 

gundud. uloof. MI. arranged mgular 

wsaio~rs with a psychintnat lor her, bul 

lhy didll'l neatn lo hell,. 'rlren, the 

aummer hetom her 111I11 l~irlhcluy. Iba 

sulk ilttu a i%htaning de~1mshIun."1'111 

iust nohdy," rho wuld say. '"I'll lrrm!r 

be halrl?v1111 I llnd out who I iun ... wlru 

I mdly belong lo:' 

\Vhenewr she npoka ilkc llris. my 

laarc twisted. /lid I beerr llrar bad a 

morher? :rI)'LiujulrnJ her "real" nrorhec 

WUW she rrv ru wlk OUI rrfour liwy 

firever? "SUI kids buconle rrbxsaml.. 

.." the doctor lull aid. 

"011, Ray: I wltld tell ~rry Iiusl~a~rd ill 

our tnollrentr done. "I don't want to 

krae l~ur. tW\e tried so lulnl lo IN good 

lo lter.. ." 

Onul~lwle~r# lrol Sulrclay alternoun I 

climlwtl our stah thdly and starled 

11wt Liait'a mom. tlerdix~r wad closed. ;I 

si&111 I'd #mvn uwd to. it SBCIIIWII irrl- 

... 

~m!grr;rhlu to Illnu, lo ~~sycllialrirln. dlreudy gnawmg irraide rrru. 

mn lu rny low. I rnilclrecl out 6~~rcl Ire call canlc the week Iruf~rrr 

lot~clrt!cl thacloor.'Thal lwbd tluwrv;rs 

Iwlt1111$ us hllr prisunan - 

T I'hankbr(tvinl(. 

Lisa ulniclu. "l'w tound the~rr.- llrn ilelm~~tiu! aamll. 

nlu umrtDide. "Olr, Lieu;' I suid ~r~rrler lrry "Cult you coma to my utllce?" 

l~matlr. "why tlo you shul yurlrnelf 1111' [lay all11 I luit i~ntn~!dialuly. S~ealc~l 

YU? You hnuw ~ 1) IUWI~~IU. wull 11nI.v IhU n11cu a#in by lire dtrlectiw'n debk. I 1 

bent LK?.UU ..:. 

11r;lcecl ~~lywlfiur the mwa. 

I backed away lrurrl the door artd "Your dnunl)ter's llalural paranln 

34 IIIIITHATIIIN YAL;I: 32 HI llES UlJIII.IIIY1~ 

#-ilrpcd the stair rilil lxllincl mo. h e 

?OI ... wnnr on1.v rhs l ~s~jirpu. I had 

lust sahl. Wfflf ally the bast ... it rcluuled 

back lo me. Liqa wanted to how 

lrur natural pmnls. Thal wnn "lmsl" to 

Iwc Could it l*r that I was causing the 

prinon oilha locked dour in hunt ul me 

l?y ~olusu~y to lel go, by clrcllng h a ut 

seltish lore-& lcna trmlied ollosi~r#. 

Iha'a pmblem, then, was aa mucl~ 

rnimms as it wns hem. If I nally lrud 

e~lou$It faltl~-In Lion. in mysell; in 

Gum1 -aIrouldntt I lrmak upon the cklu 

of sellialr IIMI lhat I wan lrylng lo sur 

NUII~ Lisa witlr? Them in the slUlnrsa 

at lltu lop ol the slab a Ihuudht came 

in111 illy lttiltd. ..Do.wuIm.~ ti- enwyh 

11) J;nd h~!r nnt11ra1 prmtsj'or her? 

I ahud&n?d. Il I ~uc~uccled. I cuuld 

IUVLI her. Dtrt it was clew to me now. 

IVlral was ln.at lor Lh lay bryonrl lhul 

clorud i1111lr. And it was I rviro helcl the 

k~y. "Grd, help mu." I bntatl~ad. 

111, did. He Nled me with maolw. I 

calked it uwr with Ray, urd we huth 

nl(rtre11 !hat Liaa'a lowng wnl Wnd 

llrc ildvicu of n lawyur or n paychiatrial. 

mun a doctor. It was a rnatlur of luving 

ulrr~u#ir 11) la1 go. 

,\ Iw w k a Ialer, la Srple~~rbem anar 

that limt golden om^. @v and I walku~l I 

IIIIU tltmt olnco of a primle detectire. i 

"tw'd like you to lind utrr damrgl~lcr'~ 

, 

naturnl (rarenta.* my said. I%h gn\u hi111 

tllu tlutaUs. 

"I'll star1 an inwsligaliun." the MUII~ 

' 

mlcluct~w naid. "Wlrun I lind sumuthi~rg. 

I'll yiru yu a cull:' 

As WL. ll~~lt) 1101111). W(1115(1 ~fIllb6 WUD 

c;o1utPnsrh. AIJI;IST 

W~I 

' 

cnarriucl re11 clays atlr!r ~III?, #a\*? hur up lilul lucn. I saw Liaa's uwmt imlr~ge. Anml. 

lor a~lol~liom~." Ite said. 'tlul 1hey w!nl stra~rgt:ly. I tell ttry hem go out lo her. 

dium:uml a lnw inrrnllla ago. You'll lillcl 

Tlru wu~!k allur Tlraabgm\.inl(. Lisa 

hcr~nt~ll~er's itulne, adclmsa dncl phone Irret IIRP blher and lm, bmthara. Her 

nr~~nht!r llstutl ltttm." 

wdd g w mom complole. Ilerclcpmsstumd 

at \ire nutna. s1u111mr.d. sud- sian, l~erhnurrlingsaarclr loran Identity 

I 111!11~~urnmluring il'Im:oulml~u ~I~mtlHlr w m urcr. tiau wna ntvurc. Out m ac11- 

tvi111 this. 

Thn% dqva Inter Lisa wan waitirlg ocing 

tunrfillud the backul~ny rrtind:tVmv 

What? 

stnlkal(v torn lolephune all f?nm her On Ducelrtber 2. Lisa dm- olT lo 

rwtuml ~notlier. I ildneled in Iha dun, ,IXII~ the day with her nalurnl lnulher. 

w~tching thu old rnantle clock 1111~1~1i11 She ltad idkud of nothin# but tlrb wc- 

Iwld Ule5 l~lrllt rurtilicate. Uau tdked on11 visit for 11a.v~. Aa I wa1.11nd ller go. I 

Tor owr Wfan IIUUG then bunt down- Ira11 an q e to 1111~ her go~ml-lrp~ bul 

stain. 

Liaa #re rne r bne? warn blalead. 

-Sltu'a coming," she cri~xl."She'a cum- When ahc nrurnml. I agoniwd. noold it 

in# 10 sew me lomomml' 

6e lo pick II~ her bclun#mn.gs? kgd[v. 

I Imm. 11 wan hnp)mning au last. "Oh. she wns oun, hut what gwd us l e e 

Lon):' 1 wl~bpmd. "don't lul me luse itlus 1 the lrear~ yearns (or M o m ? 

Iwr." 

llru hours uf the day slnrched in- 

I lialc~rcd numbk IU her cxuhcrdnl 

18lenn to tnLwt her nrollter in lrunl US an 

k~ream pdur on our lown'a mall in 

hsa thart 24 hours. "Wtrrwad I want lo 

bm$ her horn." said Lb. 

I nod~led. 

tanninnltl~ n~ t111t shemoon Illendud 

l~rlo tlusk. 1 fuutrd myselfsli~rpirlgto 111s 

bay wwr~tdowa in the Ulchen, walchlng 

lurLba in ourcar. I bit my lip."Oh, Lh.' 

I anked the JarLnesr. "uen'l pu 

coming 

back?" 

The irt!xt morning Lisa shed uflto uddenly I heard a car motor. 'Than 

the ~nuil early, wlrila I sat a1 uur kllelren S l'wlaleps a1 the door. I trid nol to 

lahie in a wmn xllliclrcle uf b y win- alvnv tny mliel as Usn atde into the 

dows. LLrn's cltuatnut-columml hone kllclts~r. -l'ln und you'm Itolaa." I ~ i c l . 

lrvlted acmssa tiuld behind our lroure. 'rlrerr, a I~II~ inimcla. Liss catno aid 

1 rvnlutrlberud she liltle girl who itrd folded irnr anns amund~ne.~l'm glatl I 

ndden ltirn scr akillfull}: waving lu )nu at ~U I~ n1.v ~ratural pmnls:'she mid. "I 

thn iincu. Now she sat UI a lmnclr oul. 

aide an ice-~:muln ~~arlrlc auarchirlg 

lro(~e I ~BI? always ha lriettdswilh them. 

Uut 1hib in wla~re I Imlonr(:' 

r~ry lhcc lira nrutlraratrc'd nc?raruuerl. ller ernbroce lldlrter~ed and alle 

It ~!emud hrcmliblo that i \uruld soon wltiel~emd ao~r~ultting I'd ~ a1~1y m r 

Inrut lluc tou."Ploase. Lunl, help me:' I lruard her say hrfom. "I low you, 

~~n,wd."llell~ one to accc)~t Urn's tralu- 

1x1 r!lotIrer a1111 lo undemlnod Lh'a 

I'oelinKb lor la!r." 

Mullrar." slru aaW. "hlom than mr.' 

w clu~r~ 

I~lg~lhur, the wnder of 

that tnolnant came holnn to ma, lual at 

Sudclur~ly IIIL~ rtuod Imtn~!rl tog~!tlrer L h Itad. Ancl l mcogaimd it as a lnrlh 

ill lirtr ~lcrl~rway-luand ltcr neluml Ihnl Cod lli~n~~lf 

had expanuncod mth 

rnotlrcr ... the rallra hem$hI, llle bl(ll1e I112 only Sun: Luw that lo wrlling tu srm 

qcn. 1ht1 sa~llu auburn lrsir. Tlrrir like- U(I what ia ~rrecious br the sake oi 

II~TSS III~I~ IY i1wa11t. 

unutlter rtcwrmnlly lobaa. I1 only opi!lla 

"Ilt!llu." l bald, walking luwnnl therll. a w~ncluw lorlow to come back.. . nron 

As I Im~c~keil a1 the~rlullg Wum~l~ll'h (M~U- lovo lltan wr. 4 

3s 

I

I3 

r.., 

. . ,a 

- 

AIiI3AIM MIKUlAKI, U.S. 

ILLIAM JULlUS WILSON, 

Co~~gresbwon~a~~ from author of 17~e Declining 

hi;il;u~d, will adtlrcsv a 11lc11ury 

Si!pruai(iccmce 01 Race, is schedsession 

or1 the sul)ject she 

ulcd lo give a plenary session 

Iin~)wu bal, polllicu, 11rlbrc the . . addrew on T11e Urban Underautlience~l~e 

may know best, so- 

class, Social Dislocations, und 

cid workcru. MikuLki, who hilv 

Public IJolicy." Wilson will atan 

h1SW from Lllc Univcnity of 

tcinpt to answer 'the puzzling 

Muybud, started l~cr carcer iw a 

question of why r&s of social 

social wt~rker for Curl~olic Cl~:u- 

Jisloci~tio~r In be inner city iniks 

i~nd he 13dti1nore Wcltiuc 

crelised so drwnuticillly during 

!. Depwncnt. She is now a lrud- 

and i~~unediately foUowing the 

ing Uberill in the llouse oi lleprc- If you're there, this is 

inout intensive and unpresellltllivcu, 

ulle wl~ose nmte hiw 

ccdcntetl period of anti-ducrimihen 

n1e11tion.0 as a possi~c wbt y.cu'/J If you're nation icg~ution and enforceninnil~g 

m;lte for the De~r~o~riltic 

rrient, u~cluduty ineit~ures in benindil!;re 

fur I'rcsident of Ulc 

t~&' of ~finr~aiivd? xlior~." 

Unit4 SUII~Y. . not, it 7s ou'l[ m&s 

.. 

.:;I- ',: 

ilLTllhlO'l'lIERS" MEET AND CI!OOSE AOOIJTIVi? 

PAILENT$ - Who ;we iny 'red" p;ucirlu u~tl wily tiid tlrc:y 

yivc ine up lor irdop~ion'! \\'II~II open i~dt)plion w [~racticed, adol,lgl 

hC cl~ildren never havc to ~nguist~ over II~osc qucsliuns bccuuse Lhe 

inlnrmullor~ IIW alwi~yu been i~vuili~l~lc. Motl~crs dt!i~li~~g with tl~c g11il1 

, .,wrcludrrow ofyjvi~~g uw:ry ;, l)i111? 11u\,c tllc rt!iwsurcurcc of sclcc~ir~g 

;ul ~dflpli~~! fijn~ilv 4'ro~n QVV[~I..~I 'b.. 

. ;il 'I~I:.'.: 

fFE AFTER DEATII -tb lri~ore people survive "camin" death, 

L a , 1.ctw1ng ~,.q~ulntior~ rcmcinberu significw~t evenw duri~~g be 

clinical cleat1 experience. M:u~y ilrc eager lo share the life-cl~unging 

i~sigllls they have IliUl, but (cur ridicule. Ilow to interview those 

pt:ople and help them i~~tcb~ate the de:1(11 expcric!ncc in their lives is ;I 

rraw ~l~~llcny! for ~)roli!ssioni$ in hospia crilit;ll.$gc ~141ir.q: ... 

-- ..-. -.- - . . - -. - - .- . - -. . -

L 

i 

"The friendliness of reality" 

by GI.ORIA SI-1EPIIAnD 

A pioneer in tho figlit for tho riglit of tho odoptcd 

to know tlioir nnturnl fnmily origins, Jenn Poton- 

Kittson is n worm. friendly, enthusiastic and 

energetic woman. She graduated with n muster's 

dogroo from tlio Ponnsyivonia Scliool of Social 

Work nnd during tho next ten yeors becamo 

increasingly convinced of tho validity of her personal 

fooling (she was adopted liersolf as a cliilr~) that 

to ocliieve o sense of identity one must know 

one's roots. She olso become increi,singly oware 

oithe continuing poin of mothers who give up 

their children for ndoption, often because of 

linnriciol~problems, fear of social stigmo or lack of 

support. 

Her ycnrs df exporlcnco nnd innumerable personal 

contncls with both ndopted persons and natural 

parents liave convinced Miss Paton-Kiltson thnt: 

"It is better to know. oven if tho truth is extremely 

unplec~snnt, tlinn it is to be left to wonder." She 

wos ndopted in infancy ond wns 47 and her 

mother almost 70, bcforc she succeeded in finding 

her, o discovery tliat slio describes as o precious 

exporioncc for botli of them. "As time passes. 

I see more .and more rcsomblonccs between us in 

some basic things. She likes to dance o iig about 

1110 room and to teach o little child to dance. 

She sings just for tlie pleasure of it." 

. . . rather than a natural desire all 

She founded tho Orphan Voyage organization, 

whicli hos its hondiunrtars in Cedaredge. Colorado, hL1nlan beings share to know from ' 

\. 

in 1953. Since then. she has devoted her life to wherice tlioy came. 

incrza3ing marenoso arco.:a. her fcilcw prcl!ccsionnls 

ond tilo general public of the problems faced he tilot joon poton.~ittson feels 

by ndoptees end parents who give up llioir 

extends to adoptive parents who often think their 

children for odoption, ond to tlre prnclicol, humaniadopted 

cliild's curiosity nbout liis rintural parents 

tarinn work of helping ndopted children and natural is , of rottier 

pnrents find o'ne another again. Orphan Voyage 

desire all human beings share to know from whence 

publishqs on informative nnd supportive newstlioy 

cnme. "lnrloed," she says. "I have often 

letter and maintains a Reunion File. a redistry for 

noticed thot tho more love on ndopted person 

natural parents who want to trace sons and 

recoivcs in his ncloptive lrome, tlie more he is likely 

' daughters who were adopted and adult ado~tees to to know about his nalurol 

who want to find tlieir natural porents. 

parents." She believes this is so t~ecouse the warm 

love tl~ey hnvc rcccivo(l helps them develop the 

cornpassion to understand and acccpt the reasons 

It is better to know, even if the truth 

their nilturn1 parents had for giving them up. 

is extremely unpleasant, than it is to be Without that cotnpassion, the nrigtlr they fool at 

left to wonder. 

having 1)ec11 rcjectcrl may causc them to suppress 

tlir:ir curiosity lor ycliirs. If adoplivn parents ore 

irni~gi~~ntivc. flcxil~lr: ;~r~d courir(lt!orrs. Miss Pnton- 

Jean Pnton-Kittson lins written sovoral books 

Kittsoii si~ys. tl~r!y (:ill1 i~ccefrt thoir c~rloptr!d son 

including Orplrnrl Voyage wliicll traces tlie llislor~ or dn~~(]l~tcr's wish trr know tlicir roots arirl thus 

of tlie practice of ndoption in the United States. savo tlrcm frorii fcol~rigs of guilt. Tlioy can reassure 

records many intorviews witti adopted people in 

tlir!rii that: "Tliis,is 1101 a scarcl~ lor love. lor we 

tlic State of Michigan and includes o moving 

l~ave linrl tl~is togotlinr. Tliis is ;I searcli to be 

accour~t of her pcrsonnl search ond event~ial kind, to bo liuniari, to i)c rolcnscrl lrom fear." 

discovery of her motlier ond otlior relatives: and 

Tlrc Adopted Break Silence in wliicli 40 odopted It is Joi~ri Patori-Kiltson's sincere wish that more 

persons answer questions nbout their lives os ond more people will come to recognize and 

adopted people. 

accept wlinl slic calls "tile friendliness 01 reality". 

26 FAMILY INVOLVEMENT 

/SO7

I 

American families .eager 

. . 

Many 

i toadopt South Koreanbabies 

.. 

UUUFU. 

Familv Portrait 

- -. . - - - J - - - 

The Clcrlnonls nre one of scvernl thou. 

- - O w 

sand Amerlcnn fnmllles 

Dr. Harvcy Clermont and hls wile. Ann, pose wlllr 

children "Ier 

twoof their lhrce natural chlld~cn and 

lhelr SIX 

yenr or longer. 

adopled Korenn chlldren at lhclr Shrewsbury. Mass.. home. Fronl row from fcfl: 

Slephanlc. 7; Snrah. 5: Joson. 10: and Alnnn. 8. Re81 row: Mlcl~elle. 12; Mrs. Clermonl. 

Phyllis LOwenstcln' dlrcct0r Of Ihe In holding Elizabeth. 4: Clermont, holding Jonalhon. 2: and Mark. 17. 

CAP 

'lernatlonnl Adopllon Agency In Doston. 

L.,..~O~I 

soldlhclotnlnumberolAmerlcanfnmllles 

adopltng Korenn chlldren lhls yenr could pnrents go lo exlraordlnnry lenglhs lo crellon, bccnusc olcrltlclsm In lhnl coun. 

rench 3.OUO. 

mnlnlnln It." 

try of the lorelegn ndopllnns. 

Mrs.Lowenslc.lnsald her ngcncy,oneof In order to oblnln mnlc bnhles, for In. 

I TheKorcongovernmenl had reportedly 

the lnrgcsl In lhc nntlon, Isnow processslng stonce, some wlves lel tllelr hushnnds con. declded that It would reduced 11s bahv 

350 lo 400 fnmllles and is rccclvlng nn lrncl wllh young women lo benr lhelr hus. exporls by 20 pcrcenl In 1070 ond furthbr 

nvcrnge,of 10 nppllcatlons n week. More bnnds' sons. If lhc bnby lurns oul lo be n cullhenumberin 1080bcloreendlnclhem 

thnn iwo.lhlrds of the lamllles wnnl lo glrl, bolh molher nnd chlld would be sent 

r' 

ndopl Korcon chlldrcn. 

nway. These unwnnled fcmnle bohles and Western Europ~eon fnmllles conllnue. 

I "The Korenn bnbles nrc consldcred lo cl~ildren ollcn end up In orphnnojics. The Korenn Mlnlstry of Ilenltb nod So. 

he mosl deslroble ns they nrc clean and Soulh Korc'n's so.cnlled "bnby>xpnrl" clnl U'elhrc hr~sdccllned commcnl nnall 

i well cnred lor: Mrs. Lowenstejn snld. projirnmbejinndurlnjill~e 1950.53liorenn 

"A\d 1. Ihe (Soulh Korean) fiovernmenl Is WO;, when many chlldren wcreorphnncd. 

tnklng nn ncllve role In mnklng bnhles and expanded greatly In Ille early 1970s. 

I nvnilnblc lor odopllon bolh al home and According lo the U.S. lmmigrnllon and 

Nnlurnllzallon Servlce, only 815 Korenn 

/ ,nbzii;lclnl 01 nnolher adopllon ngency. chlldren werendoplcdlnll~e UnllcdStntes 

who nsked lo remnln nnnnymous, snld In 1970, compnred wllh 4,848 in 1976 npd 

I IIIC~C ore plenty of bnblcs nvc~llnble in 2.e86 in IBRO. 

1 Koren lor overscos adonllon bccnuse .~ not 

~~ 

There ore flve ndonllon ncenclcs In 

I cnougll ~orcnnsorcnd~llngor~hnnsnnd Koru" whlch ore llccn~crl by lie Korenn 

1 nhnndoned bnbics. govern~rlcnl lo place orphnns wllh forelgn 

nspeclsolthecountry~sndopllonpollcles. 

tlul Tae.Wnn Yu, dlrcctor of the Korean 

Cullural Scrvlce IQ New York, said the 

Seoul governmenl 1s lrylng lo cncouragc 

Koreans lo ndopl orphnns whlle al the 

snnle llme lrylng lo reduce (he number of 

babies lor oversens adopllon. 

"I hnven'l llcnrdlllnl the Korcnnsnvern. 

~llcnl planned lopllnse oul the babycxuorl 

program." Mrs. Lowenslein snld. "if II Is 

"Thcy puln Erenl emphnslsonlhchlond. ndopllnn ngencles. . true, il would he n bnd news for many 

Ilne." Ihc offlclnl snld. "und same Korenn The Korcnn ngenclcs operate wllh dIs. . Amerlrnn couples."

-'. 

! , 

I Friday 'vernber 25. 1983 

. .. . .\ 

I' 

. . . ., .:~. . - 

f@? k 

7 

., 

V / 

/ 

Vatican Supports Subsidies in 'Family 

, ' 

by United Prou lnlernational 

the 1980 World Synod of Bishops on 

"The Role of the Christian Family in 

VATICAN CITY - The Vatican the Modern World," gave new emissued 

a "Charter of the Rights of phnsis to the right of the family "to 

the Family" yesterday, urging gov- nssistancc by society in the bearing 

! erntnent allowances for the poor and rearing of children." 

I and public subsidies for private and. Gagnon, former bishop of St 

'; piuochial schools. . 

Paul in Alberta. Canada, told a 

The. charter also restated Vati- Vatican news conference the 

. can opposition to divorce. abortion church would distribute the chnrter 

, and birth control. to governments worldwide and to 

. "11 is the first time the Holy See the United Nations and other inter- 

turns to the international comrnunity 

with a document of this kind:' 

snid Archbishop Edouard Gngnon, 

president of the Pontifical Council 

ror.the Family. I- 

The charter, which grew out of 

-- 

national organiutions. 

The charter was needed because 

the family was threatened on one 

hand "by the usurpntion of its rights 

. . 

by society or the state, especioll$ in 

totalitaian regimes," and on the 

other by 'the consumerist mentality 

and corruption of the ideal of li- 

berty.. . and by legislation on matters 

of matrimony and family 

today." 

The charter said people had the 

basic right to earn enough money to 

eslnblish d maintain a family 

"with dignity," and governrnents 

should provide "other social mea-. 

sures such as family allowancm' or 

the remunerntion of the work in the 

home of one of the parents" if they 

wep unable to do so. 

',\ 

.. .,, . . 

. Rights' 

"~t shod be that mothers will 

not be obligoa :o work outside the 

home :o the detriment of family life 

and, esp-xdly of the. education of 

thachildrm." it dd- 

P?r.ents had the right to educa- 

tion ~Ltileuchidron Yin confomitY 

with their mod and relidous convictions," 

tAe document said. TO do 

so, they should be given public subsidies 

if needed 

Gagnon& the charter wns approved 

by Pope John Pnul I1 and 

postdated OCL 25 1983, the fifth anniverwiy 

of his coronation

f 

Changes in adoption regulations 'useless until 2004' 

maUNra adopled p"3e ullh Ihdr ~ l u n l 

MITI11 

'Ttn cmnvncnl tulqulrldft~ZDyen.cnn 

WnUKnud." EdDm*mlldSaulh LkwicX 

uld In a ram1 lnlmuw. "We -4 chance% 

mv lo hrlp .dulls who rsr idoptad lo flnd 

IELLIIU~~I parmu:' 

'7hs lnuhllve d.9~ *'dl mncm lhlrd 

pny.~.uadopUmr,"kla~d."Il blcomc 

tlfecun5m. 1.andlltharghll makcsmdil. 

fern la adadioru mrchtdcd hlore lhal 

/" 

I 

/' 

~ hter 

~ndrrlhe lonncr reW1mU1.u. It wu M Idcnluled to lh cNWa ssvlrra aamv In 

mandalary fa the gacrnmenl to knw abM thean. helomlkphmmmt bmmk. 

tNrd pny. ~iv.1~ adopclom. R*y w e a~ 

rmgcd snd poerrdcd wrlhl Ronrnmml Rls sgmd imrndmat dulr nth Ua sc. Uhlde. 

hwlcdllc, Ormlha~~lb~~ardthalllwhera 

ccsublllly olhfemlm ml!m.hrlt .dWK '7hs nw pdlcy wlll pnaln mly'lo ndull 

thalrmhhhy." 

Mr. Crslaa cxpbbcd lhal under Vlr 

adoplm. Mr. Orulonx UW. "On* the 

b 

"Ollcn wean rnechcd bl a mother rlm wn~ spurn ma dcpvmcnt 01 MA tdm 

adop~m k m c s ID ycnn of ail* lhcy cnn 

hu glvm ha chl!iup for adapum ard hu d m ml .Id In the lard 

la natunl mnr*& -lolhcdrpnmmladve wlll chrd lhc 

mmml form lo rm what Inlormsllnn U 

~I~nRcdhrrmhJ" hcrald.'~rallmlhInl unlsa mrrc ur aumuun~ rtrrun(umrrs 

weondoaboul therlluUm, hutve ira CdrY ~lvolvcd. wOl 

anuablo and lhm idarrwdlnsly:' 

&I mmr.1 mumu Wlth lh 

Titcrrwlll b~on.yesrw#lLl4prrialfmm 

lo iry!;cmlml It wmorhal nlh lhll am&- mr rlunxs ~n pdlcy. lhc drpnmsll rlll Iry 

the Uma inlormslbn ir rlqurrld UnlU lha 

."-, 

. -. . 

lom~lr~UUIr~dllnlrrrnallmt~a*r~llblr 

drp.nmmtwlllmmmlloartupmIL 

As d Sc@. I. any mdhr vrrhlra lo plra "Whm a clvld b fiucd la a-rn SUP It la INS Y C O ~ ammndmw Ihal has Mr. 

kr cnUd lor plvals adopum mu1 raon a Um Jan. I. IVM. Ihr ~ l v nprmu l nll be Drandl ups*. 

mirumumd lSdln$nwbchlordcher&a. add 10 slqn a mmm~ form, u lo rhUlrr 

*rnl~ W.IUIW ptrld ~LDI 

lky wuh 

ad& to the pmb. 

Vlc Add m)x ~ v t -1 n Ww. 

Irm .+hv "huid are s~arthg Ihh polley N 01 Jan. I. 

Mum *hm !hey am d 1q.I am." Mr. 

crulomll aplalncd. 'mu lwm n U enable 

t h 

IW4:' he YW. .7hn we mml wall for the 

RWCINIC~I lo km- *bthn Ua n.mr.1 

&#rc Inbcmme 19 yorl dog- Tlol Id5 

~rmU*t~lorrm~~n~ovnloU*ol~ld" 

~a 10 the year tm3 and Wn andhcr >'car'% 

Mr. CrNlaa Isid Uul Nlml pmMl v.8~~ m8d. The arr l.(tulrllnR lor the 

cul, 81 my lime, crvnr the msn form. If, ?par dnplPs a)(H. 0111 'nut lhaa WUI. MW. OT Iryhg no~me 

lo find lha many lhnr 

lor Inslame at lh the of he .dvDm thy 

did ml wan1 10 he muclcd md eavr r mlunl prrrnlr 

Letters to the Editor 

"11'1 a ilallInR lrdk and d no lac to 

myme: Sir. Urnwmlls.ld. 

hlr.Crr01~0~1lldlh1I EL rmUmd UUI *is 

chawr would be d no lmmrdiala klp lo 

~dLptm.hlllhslcrnmtbrhclpd 

~~AdmUmllnlh~sthavs~nolrkdarl 

with undrn1an6w that tk m~lra matla 

wasin loul ~mnde~+c." hcaald. "Wean na I 

W r r " 

In his cxprlcnrt rllh Pnnnlflndm Mr. 

Dravnrll hu helm mmny odull udoplar la 

find then nrlunl parmu. 'lhs Job world be 

much simpler. k r.vs. I1 the ponrnm~lt 

uould bsl glvr thsr pqle the 1nIam.Um 

Wy~r~np,hUully mttlldlohavc. 

"Them rm lr no wdt IN4 el Pynmr 

~~nlMmllalily in thcn millen. Mr. 

Dmwmll said. 'h gwmmcnl muu be 

. . 

mrllm" 

"#I murl llr mads ar.tbWc 

-/ 

... 

now." 

Kanlrille. N.S.. Wednesday, october~. IBLU.THEADVERTISER 

I says administrator was 'misleading' in recent article ( 

DurU: 

vicaol NaraScollm. 

I am 8tillng mnrcM8 Mr. Grulorrr suta: 

w ado 'Ounrs m "A~O~I~OIU in UK PI hlvc 

AuIsUons Y~I- htn urn4 cut with *s wc 

YDUl W. In W Scpl. 21 dcnundlng thal tlw mtlrs 

a Advmlsn. mlter wat In Id41 conll. 

&-T I un m I ronrrrncd wlh dmcs." I am lhodrcd Uul ha 

wdd maks this s1.umcnl. 

%as%* 

my yam of expcrlmm 

a Fnmtly and Chrldrrn m Panot Nndcn. I ham 

.-.. 

' 

, ._.. 

yet lo me* a t4nh P-1 

who wa* mlwd a re. 

quest4 con%~i~y. 

I1 lhlt lr lo. prtup Mr. 

Grr.lonr could IrU me why 

lhe rums of the blnh rnolher 

In the p sl wsl m most ordm 

10, ndopllon, or why. Ln Prac. 

llcrlly all 1dopUom. Uun~me 

givcn to Ls rhlld *I bW. by 

mislod. me "mockery" Is 

MI 01 IhcadOpli~ PKrCCdUTC. 

but 01 lhe IcR~limate ospln 

tiomol.dull adoplm lo know 

lhelr hrnUKe. and lo Ibsve 

)uslon~ blood rtlallvc. 

AS for the onbycar waftmil 

prnd Mom the ttovcrnmcnt 

DCU on. wunl lor help lrom 

an .dull adeplu. I can only 

_ _ _.. .. . . 

Public inquiry into ~entville police - is it fact or fiction? 

hlb ww: 

5h InIbllC ing* Inla Vls 

opnw d .Urn Kcnlvlllr 

DcpMlcnI hu hurd 

mne rurulng, v q smau 

The mplllnu wNch an 

brine aircd #I lhll lnqulry 

.I. wutw mny local ral. 

dwU 1 qu~llmcetuln PC. 

llcu In rward I0 Ula opri. 

tlm of th pollca drp.Noml. 

Ihegallrrmrn .re In a p.1. 

Urn m whah Wy'n d4na a 

wNd. In Urlr viw. an 

E' veq unhnkful a1 Ums. 

DuI. aIIu lh lesllmmy la 

dam. llwl Ur pollmen m y 

have BOW a 11Ui Lm fu and 

over ruew -ha .mu 

~s brmg mdc Ln Ulolc cer, 

1.1. kiNn1. rNLh have 

km lonu4 m mvlap Uu 

hunw. 

Amdlu 10 th amUW 

dlraw of th iWh Aualr. 

llond Nora M a . Jo. Ilm. 

nd m lr[lumu cmplalnl 

has k n hard allcr .U U* 

by, Ua pvblic lngvy hsr 

hcngoI4an 

Is Mr. 1Lw1 lrylnt la lcll 

LD, Lh.1 aU utev~dcnm hrrd 

a1 vlll lnpllry ara Iwl fabn 

uMs(onamutpnd(hr 

vanu W~CIIO wh havr 

ukcn Ua urn* la roslr la. 

ward sod lPUly1 A paon 

wouldhady lhlnkm. 

We hare hurd ~s denial 

afkr nmWr on lhe mrt ol 

,- . - . - - ... . -- 

ward rtth lhc pa11 crtmlNl. 

madl d tM"y of h MI. 

-a in an aIlempI lo dll. 

dl Uu#t latlmony. Soma 

llkm this lo a penon phonrnR 

cnrls ho8 line, or help IInc 

z.ndhlnaplaccdon hold. 

ncgrrllully, lhnc Chlngn ude rhangn. 

arc 01 an nrbllraty nalure. 

IIegrctI~IIy, the d~~rlrnrnl 11'1 ~d 1h.l in such a 

;( un.1 rcrrlcn made lhns ~~UII.(UNCIOW 

rhangn wilhoul lhc lnpvl 01 UYI vmhrmle ~IIIION ~mlccu can &l such an a1 

lhclr lhrmghyt lnrmhcr the 

wnnce. alancla . 

nim Ucllc Iodo. ehl 

A nlncls may be lalllrlnl 

n~h ~ruly ~cgUm*~c corn. 

pulm~ only lo have toll or her 

wd~blllly quallmd. me 

lhrir p.1 crtmlml rcmrd 1: 

rodwd. SOT( ol D "lour 

oraywr~rt~ 

PA 

JdmJ. hrnll 

Trenlon. N.S. 

, , 5A 

D~YI~CC- 

~heti,lhrnnhdlhrCI#ns and 

#lun!malt ulalrcu such as lhc 

ltlrrneae 11. but not a ormc on 

adople. 

11 lhnr chanaa ore Cml 

cmph to be lhe law In the 

ytarw. why IS lhesrmr MI 

Irurlw IWl. 

..

~ .~~ 

I 

- .- . 

LEI"EBXW TO.TIU: LONG ISLAND EDITOR 

Telling a Child 

"Adoption: What 1s the Age to 

Tell?" [Nov. 131 ml~ht well hnve 

been tlUed "Avoldlng Reality In 

Adoptlon."Adoptlve pnrents who "lnform 

thelr yourgers that they are not 

blologfcal children" (I) will leave 

those. youngsters hurt, angry and 

longing for the blologlcnl parent8 w b 

can tell them that they are real. 

The fact that every adoptlve parent 

must tell hls chlld sooner or later Is 

that he Is not the real parent. Ills 

knowledae must be made avallable to 

the chll&fmm the very beginning of 

the adoptlve relatlonshlp. AdopUve 

parents who dctedne a specific, 

Ume to release InfomaUon are llkely 

to feel that they should also decide 

how much or how llttle lnformotlon 

will be given. The responslblllty of 

mother nfe pointless. A pamt who 

denles this tnfomaUon when requested 

Is rejecting bls chlld's lntellect. 

Every adopUve parent owes It to 

blrnself and to hf3 chlld to seek, retoln 

and tramrnlt as much lnformatlon as 

poulble about that chlld's herltnge. 

'Ihe Ida of wallfng to discq adop 

tlon untll "the aplrt of eognltlve 

developrnml" from ages 7 to II bears 

a dnngerous resemblance to the 

behavlorlst theories of the IWs, 

whlch held that infanm and very 

yollng chlldren were precognitive 

belne - mere lumps of day - to be 

molded by W r envtrvnment. It was 

durlng the Ignorance of thwe beliefs 

that adopt-' bhth rrconLP Were 

senled and adoptlve parents first 

began to praend lo be the "real" parents. 

Current infant m w tells us \ 

that cognltlon h posslble at or even 

who has heard hls mother's volcc 

j parents is to relay information and frum wlthJn the womb already knows 

I answer quwUons In language that the that the adoptive mother is the "other 

I chlld can understand, not to withhold prson." He an also remember hls 

that Information. 

separation and hts adopuon. Perhaps 

There is nothlng inherently arm-.,. thla is why adoprea who were never 

plea about the idea of adoption. Com- to16 of their mloptlon "always knew" 

plexlty only arises for those who try and eventually amflrmed the fans. 

to teU an adopted chlld that he was "What is the Age to Tell?" Is a dessomehow 

born, but that hls birth par- perate attempt to understand adoptcd 

, ehta do not exist. Acknowledgment of chlldren. It Is hoped that after all the 

the birth parents (s the crucial first adoptive parenti, analyst3 and clinlstep 

in "telling." Adoptlve parents cat mvcholonlsts have s~oken, somemust 

accept the fact that they are, in- one'w%l ttu% to adopt& add& for 

! deed, adoptlve parents and that blo. some of the answers. As mch, I can 

I logical parents not d y &st but are assure Joan Spector and those In her 

far more "real" to an adoptlve chlld field that herlmlstence that the adop 

who Is asklng questlom about his own Uve parent is the real parent will ui- 

~h~slcall~. dermlne wmmunlcaUon In the best of . 

- qoung idoptees nre confused and adoptive relati~%hl~~~~~ard~ess 

of 

have dlfflcuity conceptuallzlng not the age of telllng. 

because of aae, but because they are 

nSTR0UDSBURG , 

given wtiflktlng informailon: 

Southampton ; 

"Adoption In wonderful, but don't 

brag about It," and "Your blrlh 

The writer Lr founder of th~ Adop : 

mother gave you away because she 

lion Task Fom In Southampton. Slie 

war reunlted u.ilh ' her own blrth : 

loved you." If adoptees feel rejected 

at havlng been given away, It L, bemother 

U~me years ago. 

cause they are never told the full - 

story: Ulnt they were surrendered unwllllngly, 

sprnetlmes unlmowi ly. 

It was once common practlc&o tell 

an adoptee that hls mother hnd 

etnried a new Ufe ~ l forgotten d all 

about hlm. No wonder the adoplee felt 

rejected. It Is nothlng short oflragedy 

to tell vounasters they have hem forgottenkhen, 

In faa,bver 90 percent 

of all blrth mothers desire lnformn- 

Uon about and retinlms with the chlldren 

they sumndeml. Why Dot, 

then, tell thc adoptee: "She had to 

glve you up, but someday she would 

llke to meet you." 

Relectlon may wme fmm theadop 

tlve &rents theinselve?l If they declde 

thelr chlld is not canable of hnndllnn 

Informstlon. When a chlld asks If hli 

real mother had curly hair, an an- 

Ewer of "yen" or "no" mwt be given. 

Dlscmlona about who Is the nal 

- . ... ~. ~

~~- 

~se'tor: Bad qrados 

led boy,. 13, io Itill 

morn, plain suicide 

Thlrlwn.ycar.old Kcnnoth Whllc 

Intrntlcd to klll his molhcr - Ihcn 

hln~.elf -- b'lca~lsc he hnd finttnn 

bnd trader 111 ichool, nccordI~lR to n 

psychnloplat'a report fllod In Dndo 

Clrcult Cntlrt. 

The Krndall yolllh cnyr Ire clldrd 

t~p nhnollnR lo drntll hln molll?r. ns 

well a? hls youngrr hrolltcr, rvhozr 

tnlsfnrtunc tvaq to arrlvo llollle 

from achool catly lhnl day. Ole rnpart 

snys. 

P~cholop,lrl Ronnld 

tvalualed Kcnnclh Whlto sllorUy 

alter the blznrrc murdnrs of WIIIIC'~ 

molhcr, JUII~ Whlte, and brother, 

Ke'aln. In the fnmlly'r fnahlonnblc 

hone an Oct. 18. 

Bcrgmnn and olhcr speclnlll!n 

have ftlrd reports porlraylnp the 

ycung murder suspccl m9 a dln. 

Ills pnrcnts dctnnnd?d he do well 

In ... srhwl .... n ~ he ~ wns d run!rhrrl I1 he 

~~ .~ ~ ~~ 

dldn'l, xcorrilng 10 III~ rewrts. 

"Panlsh~~~ent for polr replr1ln.q 

pcrlodr or tc5t grader r~ngrd flnm 

Illrbcd chlld rtlfihed In Oxc"I in a fieccrnl dnvi tn thrrr nontlts of 

lromt ~lmullnnroealy wrnckcd v~lth . fl~~ndlllk!' d l c l aoclnl corker DRTcmctlonnl 

tnd nlnlltal probltmr. lnrn Rocflntvitz In hcr cvrlu~llnn. 

In hls rr rt. Ltcr~mnn s9yr K?II- "I(cnnc1h 1~7.5 dcnlrd ure 1!1 Illc 

nclh tnld R" In1 "tllnl hc ll?d bcen lelcphr~r, hlr usrral weekrnd lclcvlthlnklttg 

about kllllng hln nlotllrr 61011. nnd vnr onlv ~~~~~~~~J In Icovc 

nnd hlmrclf the next tlmr he did Ills roo~n for bchi~n!, mrals and lo 

prly In tchuol." 

use thn bnll~rmnl. Kcnnrth reported 

Cu~~tlnum ncrellrnn: "Hnclng Ihnt blrll~ parrnt:l often told him 

don? rmtly In ~rhool the dny lllc lltnt he was ':11!1y as gxd as hls 

oflcnsea otcllrrcd (Wbltr) slncrd I1 worst ~rndes.' " ltnckou.ll:' rcporl 

'war lhe rlra\re thnt broke lhr rnnl- nnld. 

cl'r bock.' Ile stalcd IIC crnw home Ur. Wnllrr Rrld, snr'lhrr psp 

plnnnln to klll hlr !notkrr Ilut lhat cl~nloglst ~nld: "ThIs bn) Is nut an 

hls brol 7 lcr cnlne home frum rcl~wl Isolntr~l, slck Indlvlc!u~I rvllllln a 

early. (IVl~ltr) 3tnrrrl he pnlllc!rcd norn~sl fnltllly rlluc1t:re ... Thls 

nnd lured hlr hrolher lnlo the plny fnnrlly Is truly 1rn1:lc ar thc 'scrlpl' 

rmm after nttcmpts to gcl hlm to for nll Ill~sr acttvllirs u.3~ qul!e un- 

Icnce thc Ito~rie were unh~ccca~I11I.1' tvlltln~~!y '\vrlItcn' man)' scars ngo 

PcrRn!nn snys. 

alld Kcnncth has hnd no opllon 

Kenne1.h While dnld he shot othrr tl~an to lollcrw this scrlpt 

Hevln, 0, as lt,t younucr brothrr rvhlch lcd to the Irnpc acl so rcsrnrched 

for romrtl~lllf! In n closet. ccl~rly." 

thr pz *hrlnelsr rnys. Ile told II~ Relrl mid Jwe \Vhlt~ ~ Y brcn B 

tho1 hi-moillcr when she arl.lrcd, 

IS tn 30 mlnulrs Inirr, Jlcluman 

mys. 

DerRman'a nvnluall*n Ir! osc of 

scrcrnl psycl~olrglrrl rrlvlrtQ at111 

nth~r court docurnrnts mcde pllklle 

y?il.rdny Ly Iln~lc Clrrull Ju4Ip.n 

Davlrl Oerilm. W1111e's utI~?ln~y, 

Arslslant I'uhllc nvfrndcr Stc\'e I.?. 

tnll dlrlurbcd voung b y p:'c:ibly 

naf6rlllb fro~n Gl~lmphrrrit. 

"1 don't P.IQV< 3vlrrll1rr lhl9 fallllly 

lllc) cnased hlc nt.'nl'l lll~lcsq," 

Lcvlnc snld. "L'III t!~! ron3lnotlon 

of mrnlnl illn~s~ nt~d l ~ o tlyr~am- ~ r 

Icn Ire1 to whnl hspllrnrd." 

June Whlte, n rcnl rr!ste ngclll 

IVIIO \vns nctlve 111 con~mr?l!y orennlm~lonli. 

\-/as n ~ontri?l!lr:~. overly 

crltlcnl nloll~cr: hcr hu~bnt. Rlrl~. 

nrd Whtle, a mnnng?trrnt consutlant. 

n pwslbe nw1?r;aertI6e fnthcr, 

sevrral rr arts sny. 

Kmlllelf: I$ &rtrnycd 2% r !sner. 

n~rgmnn rvlth fr.w frlcnds. Itc suflrrr from n 

Icnrt~lnR dl;ahillly and l.2d dlccl. 

nllna Froblrms a1 .~chm!. the re. 

krt!: snld. 

dcsrrlbctl tc hlltl nq "nn ~xtrcnlcly 

dollll~~ntlnR. c.vrrh"?~lnlr. cold nnd 

dlslnnl, n~yrusslve nnd r'lllslvr! perfioll:' 

vlne, had requcslnd Illat lhcy rc- She Rnid Kenncth hnd bcen sent 

maln accrct. 

lo lt~lllt~~~y ncndrclly in Gco~gln but 

Although Whltn Is only 13, bc we?* Ilr1111nht IIEIII~ -- agalnnt hls 

wnr lndlctrd IH nn adull OI two r~~~tl~rr'b \vishrs -- pftrr 11r was 

cou111a of ~IIII~I!~. At the snnle llnl-. bcnl;.n clp hy o!'lrr hy*. Ills pnr. 

ttrr grnnd pry re~ornl~lr~~df!~l tlrat clrts wrr* nrp.ltll~l: rr~rj. !11g111. 511- 

hr br icnlrnccd lo n 1rrntn1-111 pro- mid. llli falher !\*;IS !I~rratt!~~lng lo 

filnnl fnr jllvtnllrs If conclrtr~l. Rrl n dlvu~cc, rll* ad~lrd. 

I.c.vlnc and Asslrlnnl Slntc Altfr~. 

IIEY hllcl13cl Cornely nrc tryIlrp. lo "111~ stress In 111~ 111in1e dtlrinc 

drcldn whnl lr hell for the )sunp lhosr wrcl:l nppcn~c~r! 11, Iravc brrn 

ater -- ncnt~-ncln~ hlnl to I~!r~.trtm f111Ilc III~VIIT-?;' Itr1r.l~nrvlt7. wid. 

probnlllln nnff plnrlng lllnl In n rrsl. ltlchnrcl U'hltr cc1111 not be 

drnllrl psycl~lalrlc trcnlrncnf pro- rrnrhcd for rohtnlrnt )nstcrdny. 

prnm, or, trylng hlln for nlurdrr 6" 

Ltllt AssI~lnrrt SIn!c Attorney Cortre. 

an adult. 

ly sold \VIII'- '-li cl~orl!t J" br. s,*nle 

The rrpoltq, ns vicll ns srvcsrnl ol Il,c u11kl11-1 cnmllrrnlc n~lphl~#rrn 

mrlre psychr~lo~lrnl rvnluntlrrna h?vc nlnr18. nbut hi? fo~l~i!). 

Gcrntr~t I3 rx tttctr!l 19 orctw, nrc ' Sonr.' nf lhrre nr1phlrr.s inns 

mrnnt to ild I b cm In rrnrhl~~p, a r!n- hnvo h%tl pn ax lo ~r~nrl n~nln5t 

clrlon nhaut Vthllr's Ilrturc. (Jt~nr W~III')." C'crrnrly rai*J. 

lltr rrlrnwit rrlrort3, WIIICII nre "b'llrn tltr)' sry ti101 June Whlre 

bawd on collvrrsn(lnnr wllh KCI. rvrn rill unr*rll~p,, ~ n I ~II*I , 

nc01 \Vhltcl nr well nr ~rlotlvc nnrl \rSunlnn who u.ciuld t11\1 IIII~, Illn kids 

frltnd? of the fnnllly, plllnt n ~ lcl~ll~ ,..(ltlrl~%rd 

\Vl~ltc) tvxlld rl~llntrlv 

of n lntt~lly In crlala - alrd n nwn. rrflrlr th.?t." rr~r~~rly .~ld.

1 \ ;, f,L j Arclibold (Ohlo) B~lckcyc, Jul, -4 1083 NEWS7 

ParlVlI conlenl. Thc &Id md Ua 

ThcasLm dadovum w d La adopUve parents do not 1IwSya 

inmplels allhut coNIderln8 Uve happlly ever after. 

two lndlvlduala-tha blr- Card Colon Ll a bWunolbcr 

Vmolber ud 1h4 cMd. who wu not content. "I wed lo 

Ideally, once the natural go lo Ua soda1 rdcr for 

molher h glven btrih and Urn re-me that my &u@ler 

CNld Ll adopted 4 l lwlng wu Ln a gotd home and hnppy. 

couple. wcrymu should Uve She'd rearaura me wllhoul 

hrppUy cvcr dm. Thh b no1 IooW at a IUc," Carol mld. 

always Uu cue. 

ThUmnde Carol wonder U Uu 

Real Uln la seldm u ideal cu s~cfll wo*er wen hew who 

a fllry lalo. Thc saul worker ahawuor whethcr herdaughler 

who d m Uu home shldy b not wu.lld@LC.ml&cldedlodo 

dram Ua 8UlmrLW uprt her om surdr 

we'd ULe lo bcllcw ah Lr Th 

T a r iml L r mpraablrlhmolher 

la not alwayn trUve d a support aynlvllm 

called Concernad UnlW Ok- 

UlpnmnU (NU). She bnurried 

and h~ Ulrm cNlh. Slls nho 

boar her daughter and Ua 

adopUvo lady. 

"It nu rmlnly luck, but I'm 

@ad I found her." sho mld 

Carol b lrlendly allh bath Vlo 

dau8hIer and her sdopllve 

mother. She sms Uu molber 

abcul Uuce Umer a year. Ru 

bughkr Uvu In a dllfe~t 

slate. 

nu," Cuduld. "bull dml feel 

Ua s ~ aboul u hu Uut l do 

h l m y lhrss oUrr rhlldrra II 

trkwn~pnUYDhlrlhloLaa 

molhcr. 

tun hna about % mcmben in 

rnfiwcrl ON& U Yw mm Lh 

terulrd Ln cmUcW Csml, she 

UVH in RIUIVM~ wilh her 

hwhnd. Donald "I want People 

lohowabout w orgNIh8Uon" 

she sdd. 

tn fn~uuow namsi L a 

bklhmoUler who nude n dllfemnldrcblonShe 

kepthCrJm 

"I cwldn'l dva up my om tluh 

and bld." %he =Id. 

tn L 21 and hns a rir.year 

old son "Dolb my molher and 

my prlut urged me to dVe him 

up." she sald. "I lumcd Nm 

wer loalortcrbme for MedrY 

Mdknealcouldn'l~ve~ lea 

atranger. I mlght hnva made a 

dllfennl declslon a few Yean 

ago, hut May, sodelY a=P& 

alngle parauge belter Uun 

WdldLnUaMLI. 

Bllly, her son. 1. no1 

ule#~rrr?(s bccswe ~h fnlher 

legally acknowledged Nm Ln 

cavL "We nlver see hl1~1 IU* 

InUur), but he pays supporf" 

LOR add.% Iathtrb Mrrlcd 

~d fw h O cNIdItn. 

"It'r bKn a stmeglc, but I'VE 

never rcgrcllcd my decMon. 

aim lad. 

Ian ir sUU unmarried. Iler 

am LI UIO cenkr d her IUc, and 

he boeomcs aomewhalleslw d 

MYMe ~h. d8W. 

I ever do marry I! wM be 

lor keep," t m sad. Sla bnp 

her am's faUler and sba were 

clms lrlendr at lbe Ulaa DUlY 

war conrr~ved, but m e not in 

Iwa. 

~mnlcnlly, bah Cud and 

bra were mldrnu ol Ua 

Flomnra alltendon llome in 

Toledo, but two decades 

wrnlcd Uxlr nldmcr. 

an^ Saarch 

U yw am a cNld lwl;lns for 

your hlrUunoUler. (bs lurch 

could belong and Uu endlng ud. 

For Llutance, Judge Harw 

Ngdon d (bs WLLLlatrU IIWIfy 

pmb.t. 

d dl, opsl 

uwum ilea u 1 hlbhoi fdun 

"I lecl ~pnlng Lhe IUu could 

muss --- .U khds d omblcmr." he 

sold. "11 could ~ I W r 'red 

lrauma lor the naturnl nlotl er. 

U lhc &Id wu born alUlln Ua 

hi10 %?an. Uler CM annlr for 

give Urm ahat 6 hpve." 

~ efa d IICUUOW name) ir one 

d h a &ldrrn who wan& Lu 

hu quuulru. 

"I fell so sod when I nlched 

'nmb' mnd maUted I had M 

~erl was llva whrn she 

~rovrrd she ana adopwd.' 

"Whm you're flve you'm not 

sure ~ bl (I mean% DIM1 nly 

mowr want me or whpll 1 fc11 

uncomlortable for n Um? snd (1 

was hard lo cop:o; r wldle. hut 

you As adjust she at grew IA%t am." older, Terl 

resued Uul people aha hm 

lbelr par en^^ h d cerloln ad- 

VanLIReI. "I'd go Into a doctm'a 

dflce and lhcy'd wnnl my 

n~*Uwlbtoqm~dIhhJ nono. I 

fc~i s m~. 

d 01 ccruln d my 

rlgllu." 

Tcrl dou no1 feel rhd wauld 

glve up n c w if she wen glven 

lbe cl~olcs. she's married nnd 

has 1 doughlcr by 111aI 

nudage, so hna never moUY 

bC~n DUt 10 lhe kl. 

.boll1 hcrmcltcr."I rrolly llon'l 

know how 1'4 fccl U I me1 hrr 

MR.. I'd WLL lo know llow or why 

she gb;e me up, bul I wouldn't 

appronch her dlmtly. I'd n~k 

somcozle dw to do It bemwe I 

woulawt rat 

lo blow her lllc U 

aha's kepl my blrth a aecrrl 

Imn lsr huband. I wouldn'l 

want todontlytllln~ lo caw0 her 

a lot of hut; 11 would be a bad 

way lo akr( oU n relrlloluhl?." 

When arkcd about her 

nlnUoruNp ~(UI her adqlUva 

fdy. Tcrl sold her falber L 

dead and her nolher lua a bwt 

kart corduon. "I wouldn't 

rant lodoanyU!lng lo caw hu 

grlef;' Terl said. 

Trri's adopUve prenlr arm 

vrry old whrn Uay got her. Sha 

wu m MrnL Iter 1.h wu 

ahmt m and her moUvr ruin mum. OUrr Nlu an actually 

her late Uh. I* Inlo wa m m Uknl 

"I UlWI Il'a U*l d dd thnl PoUdU 

w y wem able Lo adopl me UYI 

- 

Scmew ad'J~Ulru.n beb 

1.1~ in LUe." Ted uld. l%e m e d art by raru agcndu 

co~pledr~adyhrd a l%yumld rn L .a ldovUon when boUl 

rvtunl daughter. "Wa wrnn p.rrnLI ucb olbcr and 

never dma." Terl uld UrykrrpinWltmuphUr 

d m not feel w m NW tm run. 

m y p d polnb lo kh# Tberw 1r1 many support 

rdopt&, ptrhrp, beaus htr dn in Wur. Ru 

mu, mu& oldu but Tolado UlUlrd Fund 

aho kauc "I feel Ilk- a agonlutlmhualLl@dauch 

Mnmlily. Idon'l know who lam group. 

or aha1 I cnmo from. I feel very .\bybe U lm had beaahla lo 

mlo~anlaUc nbmztlhcaublrel d wrtlclplle In an o m adwUm 

kinn ndoplcd." & ho~ht h v 

Ted, bccnwe of her age. L awccpUble lo adqlUm. hyba 

lurw. Declwe she WDI born 'TerlrouldM(bcsob(Ulr. Wh. 

prlo; lo Jan. 1. IIM, ahe MY go knows? 

to Colollunbur nnd rcquul Lh One UYnR 11 sum. U wc am 

formruon froln lhe llumau d jiolnq lo rononur lo brs mom 

Shu~uu.Thev wJture her Vu orosoectlre Dsrtnlr than 

orlfllnal blrtn ccrllllcola ond Ua ;hlh&n, chahdca are needed. 

adopUa decree. FrM Ikse T&y'a collrU and egmclw do 

plccca d LnlomUon :he may not have Ua ahtwm. hely 

bectn lwr ~csrch. U barn dkr hu nrmrcucd fartcr Uun 

V;i dola. Uu searrh L no1 ro bw;g~cndnn INJ am., 

euy. AU ON0 adopUon fUu WUur mom ~ p ~ la ctbt 

v 

SUblEaUmt lo bh d.b US aNWtr I3 UIYbdY's @lW, bul 

acalcd. 

some new ldw and emrrptr 

Fullm County aUon amno mull be Lrled betors the 

adopUvu lo cpn UI& IUu. dbUm bcccma ntm m m 

ThU L dona m M Lodlvldd dapnl. U u It la 1Ludy.- 

b& .Id znwl b lor a vaU Lyrm IW1 

.

. . 

. ,. 

: I 

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 5,1984 

,. ... 

' ,' 

.. . By CAROL ELHOD 

INCE ~IER kidney problems lirst be 

,!when she was (I. Mary Carol Shea r'as 

. undergone more medical procedures lhnn 

most people do in a lifetime - from 

'i~iopsies to dialysis alter kidncy failure set 

in. . . 

-:; Physicians said lhat a transplant, prcl. 

I . irtibly through donalion lrom a close rela. 

I tiye, was her only hope lor a normal lilc, 

but lhere was one big problem. 

. 

1 

' 

, ... hlary Carol wns adopted from the 

Suemma Coleman Agency when she was 12 

.:days old. Success rates lor transplants from 

; cadaver kidneys, her parents were lold, run 

I aboul' 60 percent, bul are almost 100 per 

: ,cent lrom close relalives. Roy and Beverly 

: Stlca knew almost nolhing nbout the wom- 

! nn who had given birth to their daughter. 

: . ,;. This is the story ol lhe search and of 

! ' 

what lollowed. Most of all, it is about 

~nsc!lishnrs and bravery and love. 

i ' ' : In August 1982, Beverly Stlea nskcd Dr. 

' 

Charles 

j 

B. Carter, hlnry Cnrol's nephrolo 

: gisl, to contact the Suemmn Coleman agen . 

cy to get the ndoplion records opened. 

, - .: Agcncy tlireclor Eilcrn Sanner says 

she's Itad nlmost no problem gelling the 

/ 

necessary court order, even il a request is 

made for a nonmedical renson. 

I . . 

: IF A LONG TlhlE has elapsed belwccn 

! ..lhc birlh and the search, finding natural 

mothers can be almost impossible because 

I 

1 America's population is mobile. Or. the 

: young women may have used lnlsc names 

: when they enlered whal was Illen a rcsi. 

I denlinl maternity home. 

!. -. Eileen round hlnry Carol's birlh molhcr 

lhrough n relative nnd wrote her a letter. 111 

: il. she l~riclly stalcd there was n mcdicnl 

, emergency nnd nskcd lor n relurn phone 

chll. Whcn lhc birth n~olllcr cornplir!d. ICi. 

ranged lor the 33.ycarold woman lo see a 

urologist in her homclown and tried to find 

out how the surgery could be paid lor. 

hfcdicnid usually covers the donor. Eileen 

learned. 

Becausc the Sheas didn't wan1 their 

daughtcr having her hopes built up lor the 

lilesnving surgery only to be dashed later, 

lhcv elected no1 to tell her what they were 

doiig. 

"I thought I was silting on a tirncbomb." 

says Beverly. "I wanted to share il with her 

so much." They had always been open wilh 

her nbout everything - including the lac1 

that she was adopled. 

THE SHEAS had talked to hlnry Carol in 

generalities nbout transplants. however. 

Concerned nboul a live person having to 

give up a kidney lor her. she had informed 

her pnrcnts .she was only interested in a 

cadaver kidncy. 

"Roy and I Ihoughl. 'Oh, no!'" 

Wailing to hcnr whelher the birth molh 

cr would consider donating a kidncy was 

almost unbenrablc lor lhe Sheas, who, day 

by day. saw their daughter's condition 

gelling worse. 

Almost lour months went by between 

the beginning of the search and the day 

Beverly Shen learned lhat the birth mother, 

whose name. she found out, is hlnrsha, had 

indced visited the urologist - in South 

Bend. hcr hometown. 

"I knew what 1 was going lo do. " says 

hfarsha, "l~ut I had arrangements lo mako. 

I didn't want lo inlcrlere with this little 

girl's lilc" by saying no. 

Mnrsho, who has never married and 

supports herself. was worried nboul the 

insurance and about being grnnted time ofl 

lrorl~ her job. "Thry had no policy on 

kitlrlcy tlonor tri~nsplnnls" and insislcd sllc 

wo~rltl hnvc lo lakr prrsoni~l 1c;lvc lor the 

surgery nntl recl~l~cralior~. 

Icen lold her whnl lhr prol~letr~ was. 

i i~roilcl~(!d 1. Iril~~sl~lnnl itlen nnd inlor~ncd 

! hcr she hild lhc ril:l~t lo say "no." 

Vinnlly. llcr l~oss si~id she co111tl have 

' 

-' I!everly wrote in lhe diary sl~~'d IIPPII two wtac!ks i11 full pi~y and four wccks nt 65 

! keeping. "hlrs. Sai~t~cr said she got gousc percent ol lull pi~y. Sllc nddcrl her vncnlion 

I IIUIII~IS WIICII sI~r!.\\'as Ii~lking lo her (~IIP days on lol) ol thal. . 

1 ., l)irll~ rnotherl. hlc, loo. It's 1111 I ci1n Ihink 

I nbolrl." 

B 1.001) '1'15S'I'S in So1rl11 IJc*~ltl i~lrl~cntc,tl 11 

No1 surpri?ingly, lhr birlh motl~cr 

nli~lch, ilut hlnrshn was asked lo rllcrk 

11;ltl 

I luls ol qt~c.slions. And physicin~ls wol~ltl 

illlo hlr~ll~orlist llospilnl hrr~ lor i~dtlilio~~al 

nccrl lo l(*sl hrr In scc8 wl~r~ll~cr llcr Icsls. IJr~vcrly drcirlr~d lhal wi~s n 1:ood li~nc 

kldncys wcrr funclioning wrll nntl wl~elllcr 

lo ;lrrilllge n li~cc-lofacc nltarling. 

Il~rny wc-rrl likcly lo be ;~cccl~lcd by hlary 

\Vhc-n sht! ci~llvcl lhc I~irlh n~oll~cr, she 

! Carol's body. 

\v;ls rclicvcd to hcnr ;I wilrnm and fricntlly

- - 

:62-22/8 gp LGP-9: 

46 THE UNION LEADER, MANCHESTER. N.H. - Thursday, Novomber 24, 1983 

- - /-..f7/ 

.. ' National Observance Held 

A POSiTiYK CWO 

FOR EVERYONE. 

m/5 /S 

wnom ACOPTIGN WEEK 

"Giving tak Gifi! ofsomefir 

wrvderful to somane e/sa 

L,~wtioaa 

blood. Phrased that way, the 

thought goes against the grain 

of a modern society - until one 

realizes it's what adoption is all 

about. 

Thanksgiving hardly seems 

the time to think about sepnration 

from one's child. permanent 

separation with no hope of 

over being reunited. 

But sponsors of Natlonai 

Adoption Week, Nov. 20-20, try 

to emphasize the positive side 

of adoption - tho benefits the 

child can enjoy by being with 

parents who can love and care 

for it best. Unfortunately, the 

child reaches that home after a 

teenager has agonized over 

whether to give up all rights to 

a child she's carried for nine 

months. 

Statistics show that more unwed 

mothers are keeping thcir 

children, although they Irequently 

have iittlc means of 

Week Emphasizes Positive 

E J Yc'~ 

support and are poorly He tries to help them over "the Only 18 percent of adoptive 

equipped for tho chnlienge of grief process," usually asso- mothers work fulltime outside 

parenting. 

ciated with death. In nil cases. the home, compared with more 

Child abuse rises. children he says, the best course is for a than 40 percent of natural 

are neglected or left alone for girl to sign adoption papers be- mothers. 

long periods of time and the fore she brings the child home. 

young mothers, separated from "It gets nearly impossible for 

Then 

at which a 

is the in&ome 

born out of 

friends still in school. find her to make a decision once wedlock might uve, 

themselves alone in a new she's changed a few diapers his 

by 

world of responsibility. Both and gone through a few feedmother, 

stands a , 

percent chance of living at or 

child and mother can carry the ings." he said. "They can be below the poverty 

scars of battle for life. helped to let the child go, eSPe- only 17 2 of 

Walker Brown bows well the cinlly with support throughout childre,' live at that 

pressure is on young unwed their pregnancy. The altcma- level. 

mothers to keep their children.. tive is to go through parenting 

As Director of Profcssionai when they arc not ready. Ei- Brown: "It's not that every- 

Services for Child and Family ther decision brings pain." body should pion for adoption. 

Services, he's seen many preg- Statistics compiled by the But tho fact is that quite often. 

nnnt teens come to his oificc National Committee for ~dop- giving n child up for adoption is 

seeking advise and help. tion show that adoptive parents really giving the child gift. 

The idea pounded into a are well equipped for parent- It's a sacrifice made for the 

Young girl's head. especially by ing. An estimated 96 percent of mother; she has to expect nevher 

parents, is. "nobody give: adoptive mothers are currently er to see the child again. 

their flesh and blood away, married-something tho corn- " It takes an nwiul lot oi 

Brown said. "Common think- mittce describes as "a high strength, but there are counseling 

says once a child is born proportion." One strong influ- ing programs to lend her the 

you shouldn't give it up." ence there is the selcctivity support she needs. The grief 

So he begins working :vith the among adoption agencies who can be overcome. The pain 

girls bcforc their child is born. look for stable mnrraiges. doosn't go on forever.", 

. ... . 

. .

Homosexual 

.. wins county OK 

for 

. . adopting his foster son 9~ 

By CHRIS BOWMAN cctuti hcnrlng on n Inwsalt lllcd Allrcd snld lltc prcecdrnl wlll 

Press.Enlerprl~e Stall Wrtlar ngolnsl the cot~nly . by . tl~c lnlltcr. "sc~tel n ntcsyngc lo n~c~tclcs 

A gay Illvcrsldc mnn won Tllc ficlclnl scrvlcctl dcpnrl- 111rortg1111111 the eo1t11lr)' 111111 lltc 

cue~tly npprovn) for adopllng llla nlt*ltt prcvlutlsly rclused to en- ROY lltld Ic~hln~~ 

~l)lt)llltllllly 1s 

I7.ycnr.old fos(cr aoll ycslcrdny dorm or oppoac thc ndupllun "be- boll1K 10 lokc 'nu' klr nlts\rcr 

nrlcr .......... n twn-vonr bntllo. cnusc It wns nlruld IJ~ scttlng llrc ... or RCI lllc rurrnrcl~~r~d." 

*.......... 

precedent of nllowlng an openly "'rltls tvlll open up n whole 

Thc rccamn~endnllon by 1I1c Itot~~oscx~~nl pcrson to ridopl n ttc\t9 rcsuercc 111 the ctrtt~ttt~rnlt ol 

Dcl1arltnc111 of Publlc Soclnl Scr. cl~llel," snld l.'rnlcr's Lus Angclcs htr~ncs for cltlldrcn wl~o nccc r lo 

vlrcs Is no1 llnol npprovnl, wltlclr nlltlrltcy. Glorln Allred. "'l'l~cy 

ntusl cotnc from n j~trlgc!. 11111 

be adopled," slttr nd~lcd. 

crtt;ngetl In n course 111 cltblny, 

Unvld Frator, 20, snld I1 Is n 11lg foolelrn#!lr~g nncl slottcwnlllny lo \Vlllln~n I~nlzcnslrln, n clcl~lr. 

stel) In 111s allcmpl 10 ndopl Kcv111 prcvcttl the nde~pllo~~." 

ty co11111y counricl rcprcscnllng 

Dort\rnn Frnlcr. 17. wllo look IIIR 

1Ite Dcpnrl~ttcnl ol I'rtbllc Stwlnl 

Allrcd, ott nvowcrl lcntlnlst. Scrvlccs, wctulcl nu1 dlscuss why 

sr~ld shc l~cllcvcs Frnlcr's Is thc tltc couttly chntrgcd Its p~~slllor~. 

llrsl case In tltc t~nllon In ~vltlclr n lle rclcrrcd quesllot~s lo 1,nw; 

guvcrnmeltt ngency l~ns npprovcd r ....- " I -. Tn\r~ttuc~~t~l ." .Ir.. ...., wellnr18 ... 

The county ngrccd lo lhc 1 nt!0p(lllIl bj n ktlo\~lt ~U~IUS(~X. deI)nrlnlcnl dlrcclor, wlto nlstr dc. 

R~UPIIUII just mlnt~lcs b~kllrc n ual. cllr~cd cutntr~cnl. 

Adoption . .. 

, (From County Pnge) 

wlllt 111c pnlr, jolncd in the embrace. 

"11'6 nboul llntc." Dnvld 

Fratcr sold. "Two and n hnll 

' ycnrs Is n lung tlmc." 

Tltc ndopllon is not legal unlil 

1 approved by n judge. "Wc wlll 

nsk a judge lo dccrcc thc aduptlon, 

nnd we cxpcct It lo be ap- 

Allred ~nld. "It would 

f lnvc roved," hccn much more dllflcull 

wllltuul the coonly's consenl." 

The Iccnngcr was plnccd 111 

Frntcr'n home lor "cn~crgorcy 

prnlccllvc loslcr cnre" In .luly 

1980 by 1Itc chlldrcn's scrvlccn 

dirlslon ol Illc Deparltncnt of 

I~ubllc Soclal Scrvlccs. 

The yottllt, who snld lte Is 

' Itctcrosexuol, said he hod llvcd a1 

... 

! Tltc cotr~tly ngrccsd lo ~IIII~III~C 

15 Ins(rr 11otttes alltlc~r 1I1e cotrntlrc 

nd~~pllon in n rnccll~tg of nl- 

IY'R st~pervlslon belurc mccling 

torncys In lltc cltnn~l~crs of Rlvcr- 

Dnrld Frnlcr. A1 sntnc homcs he 

I 

sldc Supcrlor Court .Juelgc llobcrl 

snld ltc hnd hccn hcnlcn bndly 

Tlmlln. Allrcd tl~ctt ngrccd lo 

nnd forced to drlnk vlncgnr lor 

rlthdmw lhc inwsnll. 

ponlshmcnt. Thc youth's ntolhcr. , Allrcd grccled IIrc Frnlcrs 

Jncqucllnc Dorntnn of Cornnn, wlllr the news ns tltcy nrrlvcd III 

srrld s11c wns lorccd to glvc up court. "I hnve sotttc gootl ~tcws 

ctlslody 01 ltcvln nttd nnoll~cr son for yuu ... you will IIU~ he lnr111c 

tn hcr nddlctlon lo hcrnln nnd Ilrrr nnd son." shc snlrl, ctt~brnc- 

Irnprlsonmcnt on drug chnrgcs. 111g tltc pnlr. Fralcr tltcn huggctl 

In tltc plnccntcnl nroccss. the locnnxcr. nttcl David Frntcr's 

Frnlcr, n coritp~~tcr systcir~a nrrn: ,ntulltcr, 1rft1.n Frnlcr, wlro llvcs 

Iyst wllh hlnnngcn~cnl Assistance 

ADOPT~ON, l,llgc 

Inc., of Tuslln, wns nskcd by 30- 

clal workern If 11c Is aav. Frnler 

nt llrst rcl~~sctl to an&&, aaylng 

Ills scxunl prclcrctrcc was lrrelcvnnl..Latcr 

hc told this ?oclnl 

workcn tltnt he is gny. I r:tlnr'y 

cral~~ntlons lnatcd nbottf fni 

ycnn, compared wllh the. SIX 

ntonths that courtly nlflclnls tiny 

I1 takcn to n~nkc n rccommcnda- 

Ilon on an adopllot~. 

- 

I 

Dnvld frnler, nllorr~cy Glorla Allrod and Hovl~t 

Dorninn Frntor nt Rlversido cour(l~ouso allor 

Stnlt pltolo by A. J. Hntloclk 

tho collnly ngrecd to let Davld Fratcr, who is 

gay, ndopt 17-yearold Kcvlrt. 

.-. - .....- ........ - ....... - . .......... . .

,... .. .- '. . . . 

ReunionEnds .Mother#% Ordeal 

. . ... . . 

- . . . 

. . *. 

.- 

BV POPSY SADOCK 

Of The Ih'btme-Review 

Anne Gallagher cried till she made herself sick 

when she gave her infant up for adoption. 

When the 17-year-old kissedthe baby goodbyein 

Scotland in 1954, she believed she wouldnever see 

her beloved child again. Now fate has intervened. 

Mother and daughter met for the first time in 28 

yearsatGreater Pittsburgh International Airport 

on Friday in an emotion-packed reunion. 

Parting with her two-month old daughter, Anne 

Marie, has never ceased to inwardly torture the 

attractive red-haired woman who now lives in 

HarrisonCity with her husband, Frankstnub, and 

two other children, Annette(Mrs;David DIMario) 

and Jim. 

Early one morning recently, the phone rang in 

the Staub's house and a tenuous voice with a 

Scottish burr said, "Is this Anne Gallagher? 

Mother, is that you?"and Mrs. Stnubimmediately 

responded, "Anne Marie? Anne? Oh, my God. 

Could this be you?" 

Mrs. Staub feels her daily prayers were 

answered. She alternately laughs and cries asshe 

tells her tale - the story of ndifferent world and a 

different time. 

. Resentment against the religious war in the 

British Isles that began more than 800 years ago 

still rankles the former Scotlander. "It was 

different in Scotland than here. When a Catholic 

girl fell inlove with a Protestant boy, there wasan 

immediate battle in her family. You didn't dare 

bring a Protestant boy home todatc, let alone get 

married." she recalls. 

She uses her own story as an example: "I was 

brought up very, very strict in a Catholic home," 

~cmllm*onP.~All 

j 

. . , .

~~ 

~~~~ ~~~~ ~~ 

Anguished Mother Reunited With Daughter 

she says. "\Vlen I was IS. I !ell In 

love wth a Pmtertant boy nnmed 

Andrew. We sen1 logelher lor 

atytlwo yean. 

Ire lived In our riOage v(lh her 

bmlher. a member 01 the Orante. 

an~nUCaIhollcl~ctlon. Tbeyurre 

very hortllc to Calholtcs. \$'hen I 

was I7 and he war 21 wa wanted to 

many, hut Cathollcr and Pmles. 

1anudespircd ea~holbrr 10 much. 

there war just no Ialklng a any 

My. XoIhlng made nny sense. I 

had nowhere to turn. It was an 

Imprslb!e slluatlon lor any youna 

CWPIC Son 01 like Romeo nnd 

Jullel." 

ThecovplemntlnudtoIncakoul 

lo ire each other. SubmllUng lo 

g 

. .\in. Staub, now 48, recalls~lhc 

momenloltrulh. "FlnnUy. 1 hndto 

tell my /amllyandhdrcwtoldhlr. 

The linl thing my aunt did was lo 

mn and lell the pncrl. The prier1 

pcdlled u to ourhoureon hla blkr 

nr last as EL could. I'llnevcrlomet 

how he screamrdandrcreamNla1 

mc lor brlnaln shame an my 

~a~~ntrindlam~!y. hwas brut$. 

Yy lamllyjurtcauldnollo~tuc 

give hcr nway and go home and 

m~alIhougho~erlrlerwllr~~cabll 

lorg~l about her. Bul.ldldn'tlorget 

rympalhc1Ic. she says. Altcr 

about her. I muldn'l. It's torlurcd 

Ihar. It war cvrn worse. Even 

mc~incc." 

nte ncw mother worncd that 

sln~tr lime Ilmkedatmy parenu1 mnyhethc hrbywalnllcctedbgthc 

could see lhe bun In lhclr eyes. I1 measl~~ thml rhs had uhcn pre 

WUcd me." 

hlm igaln. 

The frlghlsned tecn.ager war 

hurriedly rent to a hame lor unwed 

molhrr~Inav~Uagelt~atscemedlar 

away lmm Bnd~c-0l.Welr. "I 

halcd I1 and I wanted lo run away. 

bUllhOre W~Smpl~C~lONIl. 1 h ~ d 

tortirkltuul.~mrollhenunswem 

la tough and mean: othrn were 

moreundentandlnp. 3lyrmm wns 

on ihsrccondflwrol Ihlsdsrk, old 

buildins and I wa1 rlmply dcad 

scared. 

"We had eharcs to do dally. 

mldn~ and clr.nlng. Even two 

wnh.lhcp~~nantg~rIswerclenl 

In. bur lo~cUnlc.Thedoclonwere 

lnrensitl~~ to our pU~hl and made 

remarks that were embarsnIng 

mnddcmca~K.ThellmcpaIIcdbY 

slowly." she recall^. 

"FlnaUy, my tlmc came. Th@ 

blnhwordUNrulr, pninlulondlong. 

One 01 the other gIr11 who was In 

labr wlh me shoultd out in psln 

and the nunc rlappcd her acmrs 

lhclatesoh~dl'11nevcr10rgc11l.l 

never made r round olter I raw 

nsrlon lust once, she rrld, she 

ecsmeprcgnant. 

Ulc dramaunb chenpcd lor 

lh.1. I wartemfled." 

the adolcrrrnt who. 01 she de- 

Theyn~rngmalh~rwasalloWcdlO 

scrlb~s ll. "%var~ne~l lhelournlcc take cam 01 her bnby. She rlyr. 

Gallagher slrb 1h.1 evcqona ad. 

"Fortwomonlhrldllpcrcdhernnd 

mlrcd In the nUage." 

rocked her and loved her somuch. 

ANlcbpthersecretuntlI~hewos 

bet eventually thetlmscamcwhcn 

the monlhs prelnmnt and con. 

I w.1 lorccd to give her up lor 

tracted mearbr. ~ II~vlnl memrlcl 

rdoptlon. Tha~umMnlllsconvinc. 

In~~rlypre~an~ywastobrlnghrr 

cd me lhat AM= .\IIrlc W O U LC ~ ~ 

much conrlrrnallon In the loUo* 

beiter 011 wllh a lamlly lhnl wnl 

Ingyran.lShcw~rdealNy11ck~nd w~ll.llxed ond she would have a 

t~rnlled mell h~rlamlly~hs was 

gmpcr lrtnlly. I waln'l allowed lo 

nrcnnant. Andrew was dlstraunht. 

rlng lhc hnby loour hmUy home 

and 1 hod nowhere lo go. so I 

cvcntuatly agreed. I hadnocholcc. 

I war phyrlcauy rlck wlth Gticl. 

Puople makr decirion~ somctlmcr 

Ier young pw lc th1l ndvcnly 

.fleet the rcrt oftbelr ~ le. 

"I dresrcd the baby to leave Inn 

whlrcdrerrwi1hplnlcmICIth~tu'~r 

soohng wet wlth tears." she rc. 

mcmben. "I war jurtruppred lo 

gnant-maybrrhrwouldb~dealor 

blind. Every day she prsycd that 

the baby would be herlthy ond 

happy. tlolidayr nnd the baby's 

blnhday were ~ spci~ll? dllllcult. 

"It's like a piece 01 llle I1 mlIrlnK 

and you golhmugh lile wondtrlng 

how 11 hmpptned:'she laid. 

Anne 8180 hnd to deal wlth glrls 

her own UKL who would no lonwr 

haveanylhlnglodowlth hcr-and 

e. 

lamUy and mlchbn who ignored IM 11 I could llnd her." she srld. 

She warur~ldar anoulcarl. N t was lullle. 

I sullercd. hllevc me." she rays AmaIlngly.AM~ blarlewa~lust 

In rcmcmbennre."Idldn't have1 Inlhcnert vlllaue. Annadalc. h e 

Irirnd." 

cNld was rnlred by kindly parene 

The followdng year, the ounl wtnloved her, but nsrhr matured 

Scotlander war ollrred a fob In andmarr(edandhndtwodaughtera 

,tmcrlea el a houKheepr lor a 01 her own, rhc wanted lollnd her 

PItubw[h lamlly. She accepted hldoglcal mother. Her adopUve 

thscon~rnrtl~roneyear.huthated pannurncounpedher. 

thllab."All~rlrrrvedlhelm~ly'l in March, Anne hlarlr foundher 

dlnner. I ate my meal alona on a blnhcenlllcalelhmughlheRe~lsnarma 

table laclng n wall in the terGcneral'rOlllcr InEdinburgh. 

kltchm. Ilomrrlrk. I was. But I Shedlrmrercdtlut AnneQaIIaO. 

couldn't go home. I jwt didn't er /mm Brldgeal.Weir was her 

belonr nnswhm."She gnevedlor mother. 

.. . . . -. - . ...~ ... . . 

E6enlually rhcmel and marncd od&crs onlhedocumuntondlound 

"a line. lostnt man" md had two her prondparmu' nourr. Sol 

rhddren. .Annrua nnd llm. ,U. knavlng how she uould be re. 

thoueh hrr .~~~ huraand hew abul rnrrd.~hr~~tlnthrrarout~!drlhr 

Anne iIanr belore they marned. hhlre lor two houn one day. too 

MI wife krot the babv's blN o alrrld lo heck nn the dwr. The 

~iircii~mbiroihcrchildrenunul nen dl , she went back with her 

rlryearsagorhenrheloldArneltc hurban~whogavehcrtheemollon. 

whowa~th?nIB. Jlm.21.lurtlound al ruppoii logo In andspaklolhe 

outlast monlhlhrt he hn111lller. elderly lady. 

On Inpr back lo Scotland. .(In \VllllmAnne Alnricc~plalnedwho 

Slruh was alrmd lo askherlamUY rhc wls, she wns armled, iurptir 

about Anne Jllne. 'lheY weren't lnglf, wllh warmlh and allccllon. 

awn lo talk about it." she sayl. "I ller nut move wan to caU her 

sip rrssd my lullngr, but I mo her1nAmcnre. 

ualfCdupal~ldomUle~trC~Irand Ubm the phone rant. Mrs. 

lmkM#nr~rr).)arnp~lrl'rl~rclo Sla rb'r emollonal Jchr urr mrr. 

Is Reunited With Her bfollier. Mrs. Frnnk Stnub 

"I wanted to llnd hnrn Hsrle as 

much Pa she vanled 0 find me." 

she raid. "I couldn't kUevc It. I 

criedrohwd Icouldn'lrpak."Dul 

A~elte could. The two daughtrn 

1.lkedunUllhrlrmolh~rmmpored 

henelland gotbachonthephonslo 

make arrangements lor Anne 

blltie to come to America IN1 lhalwnsl~r. 

wnkcnd. 

When Mn. Slrvb pboned her 

pannt:inScoUandLoteUlhemlh~t 

AMC blarlewasromlnr. hrrlllhar 

saldr~lheropologe~InUy1"Ilnybc 

we muld have handled tlvf rllua- 

Ilona weehll bcller.Anne,Ihanwc 

Yo1eid.y. 

"One QlrrC ol advlcr for anyone 

frying 10 llndhlsparenuIsth~lyou 

rhwld not 10 into It IlOUy. Thlnk 

decply belore you call." 

Nrllher molher or dau~hter 

wanu to llnd Arne >lane's lalher 

whothevlnldescnedthrm. 

Annette Iovin%ly 

cave her grandmolhcr'l dlnmond 

veddlng handlo berslrler."llw8r 

supposed to go lo the llnt grand. 

daughter." she raid. "and it rlght. 

ldly belongs to AM* &larie." 

\VlU telllnp this rloryembanasr 

Slrs. Stub and her lamlly? She 

UYS llrmly, "I had lo give upmy 

cNld once becrursol shame; I'm 

nolaboultodoltngaln.That'rldrc 

prlde. I'm jurtclrdlhaves~wond 

chance to teU tha world I have 

aylhrrcNld." I WIU never understand how 

myonr rmn glvr up thrlr baby. 

~laybclorth~mll'srlght,hulllw~~ 

not nght lor me."

I 

Family wants to, keep grandchild 

Chatters - Thls one Is a bl&lel 

Any advlce on how to handle the 

louslest of sltuatlons? 

Our son's glrlfrlend is pregnant. 

They choose not to marry (for 

many reasons). and she contemplates 

puttlng the chlld up for 

adoptlon. 

We. the grandparents-to-be. 

would gladly take the chlld. but the 

mother-to-be says, "No way." Matters 

are compllcated further by her 

ou t-of-sta te address. 

Where do we go from here? If 

she chooses to keep her chlld, our 

son would accept hls flnanclal and 

supportlve role, as he has already 

been dolng by' paylng for prenatal 

vlslts to the doctor. If she chooses 

to glve the chlld up. our son wants 

to clalm his parental right to ralse 

hls chlld. 

We reallze she could put our son 

out of the runnlng by statlng that 

he Is not the father. If she dld thls. 

It would be a long and costly (and 

maybe futile) battle. Our son says 

he is the father and wants what Is 

best for hls chlld. 

We are a close famlly and all 

agree that we do not want to lose 

thls newest member-to-be. We 

have offered home and help to the 

mother-to-be, but she chooses to do 

thlngs her own way. We disagree 

only In her declsion to glve the 

baby away. If she dccldes to do 

thls, what recourse (If any) does the 

famlly (or father) have? What 

about the out-of-state aspect? 

What can we do to try and keep 

this grandchild from belng lost to 

Dear Hot Dog King's Mother - 

My son Is 32 years old and stlll 

talks about the "best lunch" he 

uscd to take to school. 

Put a cooked hot dog In a vacuum 

bottle filled with hot soup, and 

pack a roll or piece of bread. When 

he finishes the soup, he can Just 

pop the hot dog In the roll. You can 

do the same with chill and taco 

shells (~vlthout the soup. of course). 

Enjoy every day. These years of 

childhood do pass qulckly. 

15. 1982 York Yakker 

9 

- /Unique.Adopt ,I - -. 

Program Launched! I 

ITHACA, N.Y. IFPI) - A : 

unique adoption program being 

launched at Cornell University : 

will help find permanent homes ; 

for children with special needs. ,. 

A federal grant to the univer- : 

sity's Family Life Develop- : 

ment Center will involve public . 

and private agencies and corporations 

in helping employee- 1 

families with adoptions. The 

cliildren include those who : 

have been in the foster care : 

system several years, are older 

or are members of a sibling 

group, are ,of mixed parental 

heritage or who have emotional 

or developmental dis~bilitie;. 

"For every year one such 

child goes unadopted, our society 

pays $15,000 or more in 

support. and the children themselves 

run an ever greater risk 

of never reaching their full potential." 

said Jerome &I. Zibgler, 

dean of Corncll's New 

York State College of Human 

Ecology. 

- - .-

Search leads to formation 

of adoption support group 

By CHRIS CARSON 

Associate Edltor 

Darlene Gerow's daughter, Kathryn, 

turned 17 on Sunday. And for the first time, 

Darlene got to wish her daughter a happy 

birthday. 

Darlene gave Kathryn up for adoption 

three days after her birth in i967. She had no 

idea what happened to her baby until last 

November, when she made contact with 

Kathryn's adoptive parents. 

Now Darlene can't tell people enough 

about her daughter. "I tell anyone who's 

willing to listen," she said with a laugh. It's 

obvious Darlene loves to talk about Kathryn 

- she smiles, her eyes mist over and the 

words just tumble out. 

Darlene and her husband, Gene, live in 

Nikishka. They have a 2%-year-old son, 

Gabe, and Gene's hvo sons from a previous 

marriage also live with them. He teaches at 

the community college, and she worked as a 

graphic artist until Gabe's birth. 

It was more than a year ago that Gerow 

started the search for her daughter. "I'd 

always wondered about her," she explained. 

"Not knowing was the hardest part. I didn't 

even know if she was still alive." 

Kathryn's birthday, March 18, was 

always the saddest day of the year for 

Darlene. Very few people outside her immediate 

family knew that she'd had a baby 

while she was a teenager, "and it's veg 

hard, keepinga secret like that," shesaid. 

.Darlene finally decided to see if she could 

locate her child and learn if the child wanted 

See AREA, Pa~e 10

, ... 

I 

Area mother 

Conflnued lrom Page I 

to contact her. She bcgnn by registering 

with several ndoptec reunlonagcncies that 

operate nationwide. 

When nothing pnnned out, Darlene started 

doing delective work on her own. She didn't 

know the names of Kathryn's adoptive 

parents, but she was able to obtain names 

from birth certificates and adoption decrees 

filed at the time of Kathryn's birth. 

Also, at the tlme of the adoption, Darlene 

was told that the adoptive falher was a 

graduate student. When court records gave 

. her what she thought was the right name, 

Darlene started contacting colleges in the 

Seattle area. That's where the adoption took 

place. 

University of Washinglon records showed 

the father was an electrophysisist, and that 

he was listed in a national science directory. 

Gerow found a copy of the directory at the 

Kenai Community Library and got his address 

from that. The family now lives near 

Boston. 

"I debated a long tlme after I found them 

before I wrote," Darlene said. She drafted 

many letters before finally sending a letter 

to Kathryn's adoptive parents. She also 

enclosed a letter for Kathryn, and asked her 

parents to shnre the information if they 

thought it was appropriate. 

Then Darlene had a few weeks of anguish- 

. ed waiting before she received a letter from 

Kathryn just before Christmas. It turnedout 

her adoptive parents had shared the letters 

with her theday they arriveu. 

But as Kalhryn explained in her first letter 

to Darlene, she was in shock and needed 

time todraft her ownletler. 

Since then, they've exchnnged more ietters, 

and Knlhryn's ndopllve mother nlso 

has written to Dnrlene. Their response has 

been warm and welcoming. Kathryn wrote 

thnt she had always planned to try to find 

Darlene when she was older, and her 

parents were planning to help her. 

"It's unrenlistic for birth parents to think 

their responsibility ends wilh adoption," 

Darlene said.. "From nll the rending I've 

'- done, I've lenrr~ed mast adoptees want lo 

know about their blrll~ pnrents. It's r~lso 

unrealistic for t11e adoptive parents to deny 

that interest," shc added. 

finds 'baby' 

Gerow is grnleful lhnt Knthryn's fnrnily 

has been so supportive. She said she renlizes 

sornc parents might feel thrcntencd by someone 

who suddenly wants to intrude on 

their child's life. "It's too bad thnt the adoplive 

parents and birth parents nre 

sometimes pulling on different sides," she 

snid.:"They should try to do what's best for 

the child." 

ller experiences In searching for her 

daughter led Darlene to organize an ndoption 

support group in tlris area. The. group 

meets at Kenai Junior High on the last Tuesday 

of each month. 

At meetings, information is shared on the 

addresses of reunion agencies, names of 

adoption agencies and procedures involved 

in adoptions. 

But the focus of the meetings is communication 

belween the different groups involved 

in hdoption, the birth parents, adoptive 

parents and the children. 

Darlene said some couples who want to 

adopt attend the meetings to learn more 

about procedures and about life after the 

adoption. 

"It would also be good for someone who is 

considering looking for his child or looking 

for his parents," she said. Other group 

members can share their experiences and 

advice, "and just help each other," Gerow 

added. 

The group meets this Tuesday at 7 p.m. in 

room 10UE at the junior high. 

Darlene and Kathryn hope they'll be able 

to meet face-to-face sometime soon. In the 

meanlime, they'll continue to exchange 

phone calls and letters. Darlene said her 

family is very excited about it all, and they 

want to meet Kathryn, too. 

But Darlene isn't rushing things. She 

doesn't want to overwhelm Kathryn or her 

family, altl~ougt~ Kathryn is eager to learn 

more about Darlene. "She soid she feels sort 

of privileged, because she has friends who 

are adopted, and they don't know anything 

about their birth parents," Darlene explained. 

For now, it's enough to know that Kathryn 

is not orrly alive but well and enjoying such 

activities as flying sail planes and playing 

lhe guitar. And for Dnrlcne, blnrch 18 is no 

longer the saddest day of the year.

Groups help birth mothers keep track, of adopted children 

By Beverly Fortune 

M~lald-Leadof stat1 mnw 

Susan Secchl was 3 prs old and 

unmarried when she had a bby. She 

immedhtelv eave him UD for ndwtion. 

"My &;her didn'; wont me to 

keep him. She was afraid of what pe+ 

ple would think. I worked at the bank. 

and I didn't mnke much. I hada built.in 

Insecurity. I was sfnld I couldn't ham 

dle it alone." Nrs. Secehl said. 

The yenr was 1969. 

"When you put a child up far ndop 

tion, they tell you ycu'll forget about 

him md scan a new life. You'll hnve 

more children md be hnppy, and tho 

chlld is In a pood home." she wid. 

"~ut ~ ~ ~ ~ rof cus e don't n t have 

mom children. And binh mrents don't 

forget. You try to blodc kt the memory 

of a child that )ru have out there 

somewhere who's al~ve. You try lo go 

on, but n piece of yw is mising." 

This week is National Dlnh Par. 

ents Week, a tune to recognize the 

sense of lms felt by mnny parents who 

surrender their children to ndoptlon. 

Promoted by Concerned United Blnh 

pnrenrs, chi week suppons wltlng 

fnmllles who were separated by ndop 

tlon. 

Mrs. Secchl Ls organizing n Kentucky 

chapter of CUB, one of several 

omlwtions In che movement for 

open adoption records as oppmed to 

the usu1 sccrecy surrounding ndop 

tion. 

Others include Adoption Triangle 

Ministry nnd A-LINK, nn ncmnym for 

Adoptees Lmklng in Kentucky. A- 

LINK is a senrch md support gmp 

founded by a Lexlngon odoptee, Lindn 

Cecil, for binh parents, adoptees nnd 

adoptive parents. 

The group meets the second Frl. 

day of the month at the Cenrrnl Kentucky 

Blood Center, 90 Waller Ave 

nue. The next meeting of A.LINK will 

be nl7:30 p.m. Friday. 

Mrs. Secchl, aim active In A. 

LINK. pmvldes unusunl Insight Into the 

sdmtlon ormas beenuse she herself 

ins'adopied. She also is a blnh parent 

who gaveup herchlld foradoption, nrul 

later she ndwted mther chlld. 

Two ye& ago at Thanksgiving, 

Mrs. Secchl wac reunited wllh her nutural 

father. Willlam Nw of Nicholns 

vllle. me get.together was the culmi. 

tio on of a year's searrh for her mots. 

She also& met her binh mocher. who 

lives in Fayecte County. 

MIX. Scechl and her husband, 

hrry, have an Byenrald daughter, 

Penny, whom they adopted when she 

wac 20 months old. They have tried to 

find Penny's binh parenu. 

And Mrs. Secch hlred an adoption 

consultant in n neighbring slate who 

found the rcn she mve up for ~d0ptlOn 

14 yeors ago. She Lows her ~ n's flrst 

md m~ddlennme and that he u in good 

health. She aha has some lnlormntion 

on his adoptive parenu. 

"With that lnfomallon. I feel se 

cure enough thnt he is fine," the 35 

vearald womn snld. Similar informa. I 1 10 

&m fo MANY, 06) Penny Secchi hugs her mother, Susan, who adopted her.

Many natural mothers want 

to check on children 3 welfare 

From page Dl 

the same feelings after their cl~ildren 

have been adopted, said Dr. Kerily' 

Neill, director of the Graham B. Dimmick 

Child Guidance Service. 

"If the birth parenls il~ougl~t 

through their decision carefully and 

worked It out in their minds before the 

chlld was adopted, they usually do not 

have the feeling later tho1 a piece of 

them is missing. This was the right de 

clslon at the time, and they can live 

with It," 11e said. 

But if birtlt parents were arnblvnlent, 

or if their decision was made 

under some duress, "then these factors 

may influence tile comfort they hove 

with their decisloti Inter on," he snid. 

Lee Campbell, national CUR president, 

believes that curiosity and inter- 

1 est in one's lineage are indicators of a 

healthy, inquisitive mind. III speeches 

and articles in national publlcalions, 

she calls for changing stale laws lo acknowledge 

that It is natural for mem. 

bers of tile adoption triangle to want to 

know one another. 

Kentucky adoption records now 

are closed and can only be opened with 

a court order, wliicl~, Mrs. Seccl~i said, 

judges are reluctant to give. 

During the recent session of the 

Kentucky legislalure, she and A-LINK 

founder Linda Cecil worked for pas- 

age of Scnnle Bill I%, informally 

called the adoption bill. 

The proposed bill would have provided 

a metl~od of opet~ing adoption 

records to an adoptce at age 18. How- 

ever, because of two unre1:tted amend. 

meats attaclted to the bill at the last 

minute, il was not brougltl to a vole, 

even though it seemed to have enough 

votes for passage. 

Until the early IOilDs, adoption 

records in most states were open "because 

there were not that many adop 

tions," snid Miriam Whitaker of the Division 

of Children's Services in 

Lexington-Fayette Urban County GoVernment. 

"Then the thinking became that 

there was the need to keep records secret. 

This came more from adoptive 

parents nnd the professiot~nls." 

A trend has developed in the past 

I0 years to reverse the secrecy in adop 

tion. "I've cl~nt~gcd my ti~inkit~g," said 

Ms. Whitaker, wl~o has worked In tile 

adoption field since 1952. "There is a 

need to be confidential, but not secret. 

If something is secret, people wonder 

why. Are you Illding something bad?" 

She said that professional in tile 

adoption field are "becoming more rcceptive 

to working with birth parents, 

giving lltenl more opportunities to 

work througlt their feelings." 

Some adoption agelicies talk to 

birth parents allout tile adoptive l~ornes 

they have available, she said. 

"They ask the birth, parents, 

'Which one do you feel'would be best 

for your child?' \Ve encourage them to 

write a letter to their child and put it in 

the permanent record," she added. 

Because Ms. Wl~ilnker hopes 111e 

proposed Kcntucky adoption law will 

be passed in tile future, she encourages 

birth pnrents to provide updated family 

and medical lnformntiolt lo the ndop 

tion agency from time to time. 

"So cr,l~cn a cl~ild becomes of age, 

and the birth parents and the child both 

agree, then the records can be 

opened," she said. 

From her ut~ique vantage polttt, 

Mrs. Seccl11 said secrecy affects all 

three in the adoption triangle. 

"For tile ndoptee, you don't know 

the otl~er part of you," she said. 

"You're never a well.rounded personality 

until you know your backgrout~d." 

She said adoptive parents need 

current medical lnlormatlon on the 

birtl~ pnrents. "And 11irth parenls can 

write the adoptive parents with recent 

fanlily Inlorn~~tion, that the birth 

mother has married, had children, finished 

school gone on to college, or 

whatever 110s happened to them," she 

said. 

"It helps dispel fantasies adoptive 

parents and birth parenls may have 

about each other." 

For more lnformntion about A- 

LINK, cnll299.Tfi47 or 277-8188;

Aaron Britvan, 

counsel for the 

Adoptive Parents 

Com~nittee, in his . 

office in Hicksvillc, 

'L.1. At left, Jane 

Edwards, executive 

director of Spcnce- 

Chapin Services to 

Fa~nilics and Cl~ildren, 

a New Yorlc City 

adoption agency. 

I 

pc New Ywk Tlmn/Edwml Hnmr 

Couples Taking Unusual Paths for Adoptions 

Uy SIlEILA RULE 

?housnnds 01 cllildless cclllplcg in 

New york and other states, dcspelnto 

to adopt henlthy whlte infants, nre Increnslngly 

trnvellngnontrndltlonalrrnd 

in their 

.". ---.--. 

fnr h nhl~. 

Instend Of adoptlon agencies* 

these cou~le3, m t often white and 

middle clnsa, nre?rmnllng SO-C~IINJ 

Independent adOptlons, Bet up through 

a lawyeroranother party. 

: Many are plnclng newspaper advertisements, 

typically speclfylng whlte 

bnbles. In states where the prnctlce la 

i 

. I I 1 11~:1~>gh word of every bnby nvallnble through nn neen- 

IIIIIII~~!. RI?IIICIII~CS nr,vli~~po~~t detalled cy, according to the Wnshl~~gton-based 

1lIffl~'mfltion o\~lllthcr~lselvcs to such' Nntlonnl Commltte~ for Adoption. This 

- 

shlft hns vnrfed cnuses, n~wt notnhly 

First of t~vo articles 011 c11ungIrw the declinlr~p, birth mte, tho legnllznpc~tteriu; 

nfndoption in New York and tfnn or db~~rll~ln nnd a grcnter ncceptarorrnd 

the coltrlt ry. 

potentin\ sources ns doctors, lawyers, 

minlutcrs, frlcndanndrelntlvw. 

More and morp people nre ndoptlng 

forelgn-born Infants or paying tens 01 

thousands of dollars for bnblw on the 

Illegnl market. 

Less Ulnn two decnde!i.ngo, ndoptlon 

oeenclw hnd no shortnae 01 hnbles. 

( legal, including New ~ork.-~nny am ( NOW thero nre at lenst lij requests lor 1 

nnce of havlng - bnbfes outside of mnrrlnge. 

Wlth wnitlllg lists ranglng up to 

seven yenrs, mnny ndoptlon ngencles 

have stopped ncceptlng appllcatlons 

~ontlnued on Page BS, Column I

"llul 11 \6,nl Ilm l~cslllinc lor 

llcr lhttl I clld it that way. I cnd 

0'11 ill1 Innrrylnq Sllron'r lnlllur 

Illarncs 1.ucnrI lour st-arr In:. 

c'r. Tllnl lust car at Ilirnslcr. I\ 

wus il l n i k I1 labtl.cl 10 

y

ADOPTED-, 

(ConlinuedJi.otn lJage 1lE) , 

ertriosily about her heritage by rcgistel.ing 

with ISRR. but said "in no way should (a 

rcunion) bc lorcctl on anyone." 

"If the birth parcnt doesn't want tlle 

cllild to coii~e back, that slioultl bc tlleir 

prerogative an? should be rcspectcd." 

OPEN IiECORDS 

Still, slic said, she would favor thc states 

ol~cning up records to facilltatc reunions. 

"'ISItI is tlie essential diffcrcncc," 

rcntls tlic group's literature, "between in-. 

Iicrcnt right and statutory denial, a first 

step in open records. " 

Gcorgc Antliotiy. ISItR's publicist, says 

lltc 5 rnillioti A~iicricali adoptees arc af- 

Icctcd by public and private-adoption burcaucracics. 

Itep. Steplien Freind, a Pcni~sylvania 

stale legislator, says in only I

.- - ., .--. - 

Newborn Fever 

--- .. . --- .-. .--- -. -.- 

I.'/~~hillg to an crr/o/~/iort trrcuw 

fi~~llily. Sn)s 1::1111ily ('~111rl Jlltlflc hlc~~tlcl 

nlrinn slcpl 111rou~I1 mosl ofhcr ndo[>. 

Rivers Jr. of Cl~n~lcslcr~~: "1:vc11 if linby 

K lion l~cnti~lg 111~1 week in tllc sun- 

scllit~g docs cnisl. \vl~sl' so I~orrll~I~ 81ln'uI 

wnahcd Chnrlcslon. S.C.. c~rurlrtn)tn. llcr 

ll~nll lfll~child is ~II~II~, lo n 11o1tlc with 

\vould-be molhcr nt~d fi~llicr sill ncrvo~~sly 

gocxl pnrcnls \rho cn11 give It nll I11c love 

nlcrl. An nltrnclivc, wcalll~y CIIIIPIC fro111 

nnd scc~~rily 

svill cvcr IICCJ. wily shol~lrl 

out of stnlc. they cngcrly lcslilicd nbout 

lllcir roar-ncrc collnlry cslnlc, swinl~ning 

pool nnd wcll.protcctcd plny nrc:~ na proof 

of lhcir pnrct~lnl fitncss. Yet it wtls Knlrinn, 

nt I5 tt~ontl~s 111l bltrnd rit~~lcts nnd 

o Rcpu11lici111 frott~ Circcnvillc, disn~rccs. 

~~enlly prcsscd r~~lllcs, who spoke inns1 cl- 

Ilc inlrotl~rcd n hill Illst ~IIIII~~I 

tilt 

cxluct~lly ot~ Ihcir lrcl~slf. Wnki~~n 1111 ill 

stnlc leglsl~~l~~rc lo ~rrcvct~l tllc iiulrigllt 

linle lo ncct~n~pnny llic W~III~II lo lllc wit- 

snlc of children. On the 11ntio11nl icvcl. 

ness slnnd. Knlrinn clu~~g hclngrily lo her 

Scnntor I(obcrt Dole of Knnsns Inst 

sidc, cooi~lg "hlnmn." 

nlontl~ proposed n hill lhnt will l1111il fces 

Kntrinn's new n~olhcr nnd lnlhcr nrc 

lor nrrn~~gi~~gndoplio~~s nnd rcstricl inlcrone 

ol hu~~drcds of couples wllo fl~rk lo 

Cl~nricslon every yenr, drnw~i by tllc 

promisc of cnsy ndoptivc pnrct~lhood. In 

mml nrcns of lllc country, ndoptim is n 

stnlc ndopllons. U~ilii solnc nclion Is inken, 

lio\vcvcr, lhc courls in Soulh Cnrolir~n 

linvc llic lnsl word. At Knlritln's :~doplion 

I~cnring Inst week, Judge llobcrl Mnllnrd 

fruslrnling process, burdened by ll~c rctl 

mndc his lcn~~i~~fls clc:ir. -No otlc is contnpe 

nnd inlcrn~innblc wniting lists of 

tcsting the ndoptio~~, rind tile child is obvislnte 

adoption ngcncies. Altliough n few 

other slnlcs nlso nllow ndolttions in locnl ludgaRobertMnllsnl1nhlscha~ers 

ously well cnrcd for." he snid. "Whnl no1 I 

to do? Utldo lhc Imtlds of love thnl llnvc 

courts by non-rcsidct~ls. Soul11 Cnrolilln ~(qlnrnltl ~~o~7~11do~011~sof~mr7~-~ 

nlrcndy dcvclolxd7" Ncsllit~~ Knlrinn in 

ofirs n unique blcnd of lnx lnws, narcs- 

her quilted stroller. the coupic lcn the 

sivc lnwyers nfid open-minded ncwspn- ndoplions cnn ix setllcd in ns liltlc ns coortroom hcnnling. 

m 

pen lhnt ncccpt clnssificd nds from cou. oncdny. 

plea seeking bnbics. Fcdcrnl rcgulntions Omcinls of tho South Cnroll~~n cllilthnl 

nrc morc rigorously ct~rorccd clsc- drcn's burcnu, which hnndlcs omcinl Food Fight 

where, like thc rcquircmcnt ti~nt stnlc ofncinls 

conduct n "homc sludy" qfthc prospeclive 

pnrcnts' filncss to ndopt n child, 

ndoptions, chnrgc thnt thc insnlinhlc demnnd 

for ncwlwrn babies and tlic slnlc's 

lnisscz-fnirc nllitudc hnvc spnwncd n ncw 

nrc roulincly wnivcd by So~~lh Cnroiinn's breed ofnmbulnncc chnscr. Thcsc nrc llie 

Icnicnt family-court judges. In 1982 "bnssincl hounds" who, in somc cnscs, 

Illere were six times ns 

nlnny privnlely nrrnngcd 

pursue unwed molhcrs nll 

lhc wny illto the delivery 

ndoptions-rnnny of them rwm. Co~nplnins Frnncis 

nlndc hy non-rcsidcnls-ns 

Lewis, cxcculivc dircctor of 

plnccmenls n~ndc through 

lbc children's burcno: "It 

the smtc's olllcial ndoption 

used to ix thnl we snid. 

ngcncy. To some, lhc silun- 

'Ilcrc is n child who needs n 

lion hns lurncd Chnrlcslon 

I~omc.' Now it is 'Ilcre's n 

into n notorio~~s hnby bn- 

cl~ildlcss couple, lcl's go 

mnr; to othcrs, it 11ns mndc 

n11d n child.' " Lc\vls rcnrs 

the gcntcel city n wclcon~c 

thnl couples scrcc~~ed 0111 

linvcn for couples nnxious 

ns undcsirnblc in olhcr 

lo recur en chiid. stnles will pnss IIIUS~C~ in 

Kntrinn's cnse wns hnn- 

Solltlt Cnrcrlinn's lnx fnri~ily 

dled by two of lllc nnlion's lllorc col~lri). courts. As nn cxnll~l~lc of ndoptivc pnrvcrsinl 

ndoplion lnwycrs: Slnnlcy ["hlr, cnts' vul~icrnbilily to fraud, she cilcs tllc 

Stork") Michcl~nntl of New York Cily, cnsc (IT two womcn fron~ Si~m~~icrville 

who wns irldictcd b111 ncquitlcd in 1979 of who nrc c~~rrcntly scrving tin~c fur nlnrrnnging 

illcgnl ndoplions, nnd his frc- tcrl~pli~~g ltr sell thc snalc bsby lo two difqucnt 

colinlmrnlor. 'fllonlns 1.owndcs Jr.. fcrcnt couplcs. Thc t111fcltcrcd syslc~~~ cnn 

n well-known Chnrlcslon nllorllcy who also inducc young prcgnnnt W~IIICII, who 

hnnclles morc llrnn I00 ndnl~lions n ycnr. rrrr olTcrcd (my~r~cnls thnl tnny fnrc.xccccl 

'Thc lwo ntlorncys cncourngcd lhc couple ii~eir ~rlcdicnl cosls, lo surrc~~rlcr il~cir ITIlcrnnl 

riellts loo rcndily. Engcr ~mrcnls 

lo plilcc nn nd in lllc Chsrlcslon NPII*.I & 

Col~rlrr Posr, wllicll cnrricsil~ne~~sofclns. nrc cvilling lo pny S15.000 or nlorc lo In\\,- 

sificd plcns ench wcck. Most of IIIC nds ycrs. "lit~dcrs" 111111 yo1111g IIIO~~ICIS. l'r11111- 

promise lovc for i11c child rind rctlluncrn- iscs OIC nd: I.IVI: I.IKr A QUI:EN. Snys 

lion lo t11c nlolllcr. All ofll~c~t~ end on n Alllrrncy Knlhlcc~~ Jel~nings of lhc 

despcrulc note: CAI.1. COI.I.KCI' ANY '~lhtli. Orccnvillc solicilor's olllcc: "Sclling cliil- 

The couple's ild got n rcsponsc. At~d nficr drc~~ sl~ould hc illcgnl, IIII~ i11Soul11 Cnrolilhcy 

slwnl 512,326 ill lnwycrs' fccs nnd nn it is IIO~. 11's only i~nmornl, nnd lhnl is 

mnlcr~~ity pnyltlcnls, tllcir pmycrs were snn~cll~it~g wc cnnllul cnf~~~cc." 

nnrwcrcd. 'l'l~n~~ks it1 pnrt to lltc loop11~1lcs I'rtilxl~~c~~ls ofll~c systenl nrp,uc lhnt n 

in ll~c slnlc's lnws, lilcy ul~iakccl Kntrit~u slntc ndoplio~~ ncct~cy's 11n11dli11g of 1111 

homc four dnys nncr l~cr i~irth. So~nc i~n\vi~nIcd cl~lld oflc~~ proves filr nlorc ill- 

- 

-. 

btAllCll 12, l'l8,l 

s&s7 ~A&/~/EZ) 

, 

S&.L /WG- OM. ~REN 

LO. *+--r-.A. 31 J, 

v .- 

'Ilh 

. &?.L(.2 . ......- .. . . . 

11111111111. Ilurc~~~~crnlic s1:111sn11J i~~clllcict~. 

&'+r&/p~/d&#/&E*'(,' fJp4 ,-&y'*-2 .. 

,?,.a 

I335

v ,,' ) THE UNION LEADER, MANCHESTER, N.H. - Wadnorday, March 14, 1984 

'Ad' Adoptions Cause Concern 

By JDllN O'UIIIEN 

Uniled Press Internatinoal 

The classified ad in :In Erie. 

I . newspaper conti~incd a it. 

phone number and read: "13arents 

uf one ucloptcd child wish 

to adopt infant to 2-yc;1r-t1ld.'' 

The ad worked. said the III;III 

who answeretl when the ~rl~o~le 

II~IOII~ cull frotn a friend of a 

[rrcgnont woman. who sold she 

~vould turn over her baby to the 

couple right after she delivers 

,\!I elated Watson said a lawyer 

w;ls working out details of 

!he private adoption. The law- 

yer will take lrosscssion of the 

br~liy. expected in carly spring. 

number was dialed recently. It and deliver the infant lo the 

~)rotlucccl resulls I\vu clays after \v:ltsolls. 

il was first placed. saicl Isaac \Vutson suit1 the financial 

\Vatson. 

:larcelnent with Ule molher-to- 

The plicno~i~c~~on t11 newsl):r- l)c rccllllrcs only that he rcim. 

per acls placed by coul)lcs IIII~SC Ilcr the cust or her consulw:lnting 

to adopt a cl~ilcl is ti111 

tation with the lawyer. 

rare in I'ctinsylvania. Such i~cls 

:rre rnuliticly fouticl in the Ile salt1 he nrst heard or 11s- 

Ulli- 

\,crsily I I'ittsbur

i ~a' TIMES UNION 

f -.----- .. . . . 

~oniinuad from A-l 

L 

c - " c u : E 

pcr1l111' nrr on honrd, we 

rcgisrry rill br! in h t ~ 

he salrl. "11's lhe firs1 limc lhc 

done nnylhlnp, llkc this. and 

lhc kinks as wr go along." 

.Ingrillo sald rquesls lrnfn prospeclire 

rqislry cnlranls havr 11rr.n pnlrrinp, lnlo 

1, I,C~I,I fhpa~tm~nt at a clip 01 nba~~t 

Wawcck. 

:'At flral (hew tvifl he a hu~c 

lnflux."hc 

mld:'Thrn lhln~s will brgln in lapfr nll." 

!Ilcp,islry cnlry kvs runp,c lrom $75 lnr 

1hh adoplcrs. lo $20 lor ll~c adr~plivc 

2 prcnl'nnd $20 lor 1l1u i~lr~l~~glcal parcnl. 

hnalornlist lhr 

M 

C ,O 2 % .GO . ,=.i; 

PI X I Zg 2 2; 5 IIthc llrnllh fk.parln~rnl 

0 - X5P. Y E.5 0-? 

.- x z 5 - 3 would be lackcd on. acrnr~llng 

2 = a 3 aibl adopllnn np?ncirs, arldllional lo Ingrillo. 

Ices 

$J c 2 5 

1 hrat~sr prrvlo~ls slnlr law hnrl rr. 

m 2z2P:3 - o B L&b qdinrl lhnl nll nd~~plion lnl~rrn~alir,n hr 

' " I b nnlldenlinl, arlolil~es 11111kinp. lo 

know rnorc ahoul Lllrir nri~ins had lo 

0I)Fralc like dcIt~Iivrs. Ihrrntlin~ lnp,rlh. 

, ty any bib 01 inlorn~:~lion lhry roul~l 

rnlln%, pursuing lhclr 11est clues an11 

] hqnrha. 

.A!nnnp, lhw.- prarplr is IDaI11 \'an 

~:qg"cr. :I", 01 ~nrntr~ga ~~win~q, who was 

af0111cd as a ynsng chibl. Two yrxrs ace. 

. -. 

shc discoccrnl shr has n sister wbo was 

hdrn in Try in ryp.11~1 1055. "She may nnt 

I Even know cxi5t says Van Wagnrsr. i~~l~~rn~alion. 

a 

Also cagcr lnr i~~lr~r~n;~lir~n is Fellcia "11 wrln'l work. Ill11 rc ran try lo m 

I'irronc nl .Schrnrrl:~~ly. ul~o nn Orl. 20. il work." says I'irronc, whose dnugh 

I968gavc hirlh lo :I rla~lfihlt~r. 

nnw IS, nn~~ld nu1 now hc c.ligiblc 

"I shnsrd II~ prrl:nanl a1 a social porli~,il~nlc in 1111. program hccausc rlll 

w9rvir'c ncrnry an11 lhry n~nvinrcfl nlc rnl~li~e Ihal lllc 31lnplccs he nl lcnsl 21 

Ihal glvlng lhr chi111 II~ lor adoplinn oblain inforrnnlion of any type from 1 

we11l11 Ire a nire lhinp, lo ilo." says I'i~r~lnr. rrgislry. 

who wnald likl- In I11ral18 IIIC dnaghlr.r she 

I 

lxli~~vm is Iivil~g 111 AIII:III~. "Xvrry yrar 

1 fn lhr 201h 01 OVIIIIH*~ I RI n~~ls." 

Ill11 rvvn rilb I i l n 111 Iln. 

taflizlry. WI! allr~i~lavs :1nr11111 

Il~p:~rrsls 

frsar l11al lhcy !\ill slill III* lr~~slr:~l~~ti in 

Ihvir rlfotls 111 lt1r.111- rr~I;~liv~~s Only in 

r;isr?; uhrsrc* lhr3 o,tf(,l,.r.. I~II~ ~rlol~livr. 

PATTI VAN WAGNER 

. . looking for hcr sislcr

ny Allcla Armslrong 

01 The Journal Strll 

"Oh, I've bee11 wolllnE so lor you," 

Amella nrcan snld as she grrctrd her 

daughter. Lydln Iturlcy. \vho !\,cnl to 

scc hcr last Week. 

Until last month. the two hnd not 

scen one another lor 75 years. The 

daughter Is 75: lhc mothr!r Is At.. 

The daughter had bcrn put up lor 

adoptlon when she was an lnlont. 

She had found her molhcr allcr a 

search last year. 

Lydlr was born in h!llwaukceand 

stlll llves here. She has an apanmcnt 

. . on the South Slde. Amella, who was 

. born In Edgerton, now ilves in the 

nurslng home secllon 01 Mcmorinl 

. Communlly Rospltal In Edgcrton. . 

A few days alter her blrth, Lydla , 

was taken lrom her mother. who 

was not marrted. She was plnccd In a 

Lutheran children's home and w u 

; 

., 

3 . . 

---. 

.'. . .:I .. ).:.'!r -:-L~wm#&t~by~a&olton adopted by Henry and Ellznbeth 

- --- - 

.; .' . ...+ Amella Brean, foregrdund; and her da11ghtet;'Lydla HIfrley ':'..::'r. : Turn lo Reunlon, Page 15 . . 

! Rbunlon, From Page 1 

. .-. .. .- .--.-.- - . . . . . . 

:,. .. . , 

Frlend llid - 

Rt~venrted by mrcllnl( 

'Junck of Milwaukee when she wua year old. Lydla snld her mother told her all she had been DIC~ Ilennle,one ot Amella's ncphews.sald that 

. ,For many years. Lydla dldn't &Ink about trylng born In a prl\.atc hnnlt, that Lydl~ %'as a sickly Amella had bccn njuvenated by finding out that 

to tlnd her mother:Thcn, a few ymm ago, she bahy and that Amclln was told the jab!. was belng she had a daughter after all and by mc~tlng her. 

declded she would. 

. taken loa horpllal. Tlrcn the mothe: wrr told by n "11 really gave hera new lemon llfe, DO to 

"I w u thlnklng about It a Iol;" she Mid. "I lrlcnd that her daughlcr had dlcd. 

speak," ilennle sald. 

thought l'd llke to find out fPp,uj he before I pass "Thcy couldn't gel awny u.llh Ikat !day," Amella Is mostly mnllncd to a whcclchalr us 

away." ,.. .....,. I 

Lydla sald. "No way." 

the result 01 a stroke she sufferfd two years ago. 

She dld not expect her motb+rm be ailve still. Lydla also rrld: "Shc was not mmled. and her . At oncpalnt In Ian week'svldt Lydla reached 

but she wanted lo learn fill she mid about her famlly may have becn ashamed 01 thnl." 

over and rubbed a spat on her mother's lower . 

and to know where she wu burled. 

Dld Amella's parents arrange lo: the lrlcnd lo dght leu where a akln ulcer had developed but 

] At the bednnlng of her.s&b few yearaim? glve her that false mcswgc? No one wl3 ever thenheded.. . ' ,.,:;.. .. 

Lydla could flnd nothlnm ?bou(her mother In know, because dl those who couldshed some "ckm Ulat hurt? ~~dld~&ed~~I~wly. 

mrds ai lhe Milwaukee Cohaty Courthouse. llgl~t on thls puzde nrc dcad. 

I. I : 

Uqcd to uy yll. 

Amella held her daughter sevcnl tlmts In the 

..v:.* 

6 

,t . 

"No:! her molher told her:? ' 

. 

bmclla found lhat bhe n?tqn)y hrh s daughter ' 

. 

Ilrst tutodays or so alter her blrth, before she was but &atshe alco had four bnnbchllhn. 12 ~ nlgrandchlldrcn 

and 3 great.prut~~ndchlldrcn: 

.:I She llaveupaen, buta 8mdQughter, Janlcc taken away from hcr. The baby, she once told 

;(fawe) mwrdl* kept urgint to try refaltves, had r curl 01 halron tap 01 her hcrd and ~hme mon pul.great.grWcIdjdreo are011 lhb 

Then the ~ nndd.u~ht~rfo*~~tl~ye'rlh~t '.;'. Amclip had put a ilttlr plnk ribbon on it. 

Lydlarnl[htM helped by conllctlnm Kathleen 

way. ..:...-.. 

. s,.: ., . . . 

' 

: But then. for 75 )'cars. Amella thought that her 

' Sweeney, adoptfon search cmrdltutor of the 

"oh, boy;' AmeUa add. 

daughter - Iheanly chlld she ever had - was 

Mvlrlon of.Communlty Servlm. Wlxonsln, i,f :,.. 

' ;, ;,'I:,, , 

dead. 

Lydla,Uld: ' n t just g v !OL$3~,wc'm ' ' 

epartmenl of Heallh and SodaIServl~!~~. 

~etllng ?Id?> ,:.' 

,,:ij,\.. c;.:.'. :! 

Lydia's sirlt wlth her mother Iul week was her 

:...., I , -:_ . ; 

Lydia conbcted Sweeney. md she mcelvcd a 

1 

th~rd. she sald that she would 11kr to see ~ m e ~ ~ a :' ' Pmud or &w~a., ...: 

call fmm her tllortl~ before Molher'g Day on May ~ O Ioften, C but that she dldn't hayc a car and her When Lydla ar~Iveh at thq'udng home ' ' 

: 13 thls yru. .., ': chlldrcn were not always available to tnke her to week, Amella pmudly (old ? ns@LhenU~.' 

: he ~ld,'-you dtun~ d&i?'" L Y ~ I UJ~. ~ . EdgcHon. 

"This 1, my aughtcrlw 

., .:;.* c .... - ..;'I : 

"Thcd she lold me, 'We have founp your : 

. 

Lydln rsld she had Iound lf~nt she and her Lydiatold her mother thaf &,,d$idd she 

' mother.'" 

': '., 

mother shslcd a lot ol lnteresu. 

Lydla wu ttunned. Iiermolhnl ,.; After all tho*. -we both like cnls blnRo jewelry," 

years. 

Lydln snld. "I also found out thnt she had a 

I in a ru~queat 

letter. Swency told L Y ~ that I ~ .hysltrectomy when she wns 32. w t Ulata . . 

her mother wu 

"very wlllln(!orha= her IdenUtY colncldence. I also had a hyslereclomy when I wa, 

and to havCconlact wllh ym.,,,.. 32." 

;! "For i whole week Uler 1 fwd out I hid..; :, 

, Uouble slcepln#."'Lydti uld :'l Look half 1 ., 

sleepln8 plll every nlmhl." .' ;;1< 

i ' 

,.: Thea.onMay I8,Lydlr. whotiawIdow,md~ 

, 

., 

one of hk &u[hter~,dmve.? Edp* lo Fe h~ 

1 ?101h&:!l .'? . ' a 4Fp ,.., P. ,.. - ..,...:: .-...:-.. 

*She&fed when we met.' Lybla uld." :; ' 

thq.(.ILed abut WM. 

up l~+optlon;?.;;,.:,, . 

.-.A- -.,. - 

--

U.S.NEWS b WORLD REPORT. July 9. 1004 

' 

. .. 

r ...,I' : -.,.. .:.,. .- .':,....a .-..,.I-,. *.-z,- r...,. ,.,. - ... n ., 

4. IW:,.~:;.: 

,.' 

. TH'E NEWYORK TIMES, S.U~~DA.KA~RU.. 

..... 

. . . . ~t his urging. faintly and sum \ 

-abshu... 

gate coum nn mquirlng a hearln~ 

hlttcr; nor do 1 lmmn onlgas "Jeny.";.r' '. ..- 

+~ir;~ Reag4nn;.- 

+ 

them. I irm "She ,aaa.,a amomar of '%r&m.!l" 

- .-.. nnd mun order before mrds are 'q 

:z. 

~~.'~&i&t'l~~h Ki*. 

"-$~&~~h~e&*slo~~ti 

; -ha- ed . , . - -. . - ninsed. As a mull. only a handful. 1,. 

of the moro than 400 adopted people 

. ' - . . - ,- 

who have sought. Infarmation 

. 

hernstbnmsb 

thmugh the Department of HsalUl . , 

Ctl~tc A. \VILSON gave up for adopfia , . S~.~.~O%H.~Y~TMI 

have This bem has nble fnrstmted to get It. . ndopUm : 

' ' 

iffuh Point, ,VC 

, , 

$01 oh -& u some day ae . LONDON. April 7 - Gene.do@sts 

wuld gu together. but this way is so 

pup, who ~hwghthey had pmn '3. 

1 ~ p & ~ ~ ~ their ~ battle ~ last year, - nnd - angernil) ~ ~ ~ ~ 

spanson of the lnw who ncnucd 

court ndmlnfstmton of "rubtlng , 

w-rfor (ha time banleloedVllingruleIn1~. carnpliance." "The langurtgd is vey 

"lhls link mnkm Mr. R a w tbe clenr..' sold Assemblyman Hownnl 

not rvnnt to meet nly biological pdr- : trsnrplam for the= 

ents. I am in no w~~y 

huve nny ilr~imosity torvi~rd 

satisfied that my rml parents arc the 

people I 11uvc culled Mom and Dad for 

25 years and wnnt to leave it that wnyl 

, bulnsver~ 

- - 

hfy wife and I were gr~~ntcd the honor 

of adopting hvo boys-blichael. 13. Mr. Blaniord's ndnpdw motber, "ebadrloBrlan-*llb 

und David, 7. The uldest iuks questions 

such :IS how tall or large he tvill be. 

shcc their brief enmunter at a Iaw- 

We's handled the ndol~tions this /''Zn om a 

. , mm royal of Americun Praldarla 

way: (1) Told them they were rrdopled , . Mn. Blanfd ae wlth the accpfirm of Gsorge Washlong 

before they urldcrstood; (0) al- . mother to obw lady modteal lngton."saldXeddBmobB~erol 

lowed our oldcst to participate in the rrcord4thnlmlgh~khelpful&t~ene B~rlte's P ~ w n , ~ Um e e 

ndoption of our youngest; (3) answered / Jew. Blanlord's Illnw.. - t l c ~ ~ ~ . 

1111 questions hor~estly; (4) told our old- , "I can hivdly believe it," &. ' ~pedllcally, ~ r ~eag&s . w lo.- 

cst \ve would help in any \vay, ~~fter he . . 

is 18, to find his birth parents if he so 

chooses; (5) most i~nportnnt, we have 

told hirn thut he lnust respect his birth 

mother's privncy if snc wishes it. 

'.. We love our boys, but we do respect 

lhcir rights 11s irdoptive children. 

.; the ~ agan onme. and n ~ tnob ~ y 

. . . . . 

.-.--,--. LIICI!AEL 11. LICIIIIIDI: S ~ s ~ d b Q - ~ - a ~ l ~ w-1 to 'Ins th.t 

I to meet bh NW motha whm he S a d kt the MdnlW of Crg& m- 

"hlL' was a t-gel, brtl aaM. "~t ldod of ~allyporsen in nppsray. the hLmlet 

- faded away when I grew up:' where Mr. Reagan's grat-lppt 

1 Mr. Blnnlo@ nmd W vllqmo;;d @n*m h~. : . L 

protective Seal .- 

OR Adoption Data 

Do ndulu who am ,adopted as 

children hnvc therlghltoknowabart 

their nntuml parenla, evm whm the 

mords an senled under cum or- . 

der7 Ye, sold IheNew York Lcgblalure 

~lvlngpopleaccess 

last yar when lo it "naclldentlfy- 

passed n blll 

tng informution." indudlng mllgion. 

age. edueatlon and cchnlc backgruund. 

But the slnle's judge um't 

so sure. "For so long. we lrgardd 

the obligatlm of senling ncords ar 

mcred." ~udse Rokn J. SISO. the 

stale's chlef admlnlairatlvo Judga. 

sold lut week. "We M@ unmmfort- 

able with n spurl- wealhg 0r.a~. ' 

pm forma unsealing of mordr." : . T! 

L. Luher. Dcmocrot of Bmklyn, 

who is considering golng to carrt lo 

chnllcngethedeninls by the Judga. 

- 

Katherine Roberts ' 

' 

. 

, 

I 

. 

.' I 

: : 

x 

4 \ 

- 

.'

Rillm nt Triniioptinrr Llhmg: llir Slocks with ,Ilnllj: ,I 

ilanrnr~ :r hrirrrfnr hrrpnreatc, n cnrrplr!r srnrchfirr n rhild 

Adoption: New Frustration, New Hope 

Theshortageofadoptable babies is forcingdesperatecouples to pursue radical options. 

~IIIC 

SIIC 

jourt~cys bcgill ill tllc hcnrt. TWO pcr~dcttl ndoptions, C\'CII gct~i~~gi~~volvcd- rclorc tlln~t Ilcr 11i1sba11d. ~vl~odrives n forkcks 

ago, n group or ndtllts waited oncn ~~r~svillingly-ill ngrowil~g bll~ck mnr. lifl tr~~ck.Otl~crngct~cicssaid Jonlll~crvould 

~~crvously nl Boslo~t'sLogn~~ Airport forll~c kcl. It i~ns also rndicnlly nltcrcd tllc role of 11nr.c lo quil her job rind slny ltonlc fur nr 

Iliglll from Miami to loucl~ down-nnd UI- ll~cl~nturnl pnrcnts, or "birll~pnrcnts," who lo~~g nr six ycnrs nficr the ndoptio11-even 

load n very spccinl cnrgo. "Tl~cy'rccon~in~, used to hnvc nosny ns to a110 rcccivcd tl~cir tl~o~lrl~ I~IIII wollld rcd~~ec lllcir fan~ily intllcy'rc 

co111i11gl" n toicc sho~llcd 'ns I\!% b:~bicsnnd ncvcrk~~c\vtl~cndo~~~ivcco~~~lc~' 

colll&o IC~I thnt they nould he IO ~IIIIEC~ 

\vonlcn npproncl~cd, cncll cnrrsi~~g Itvo bn- idcnlit?. Now nlnny birthpnrc~~~s clot orlly li~~nr~ci:~llycliaihlctondop~. "Do tl~cy ir~si

linetl up :I cl~iltl's roonl n ~ :Ire ~ d nlorc than 

rci~tly,"saysSlc\~c. "Wctlon't ci~rcif\vcpcl a 

still going to be Korcnt~"-IIIICI pcrl~i~ps suf- boy orngirl. I lnvingi~cl~iltl isjust son~ctl~inp 

fcringfron~ itlentity problen~s. 

t1111t two n~nrricd peoplesl~oc~ld do." 

Wl~cn Jan~es nntl Sylvia Slock of Swcct 'I'l~e 111:ljority of indcpcntlcnt ntloptii~ns 

Ilon~c, Ore., atloptctl II l5-111ontl1-oltl Kore- procced stnoothly. l3ul tl~crc is 81 ccrtair~ 

nn girl lnst ycnr, Ilolt ntlvisetl tl~cn~ to give IIIII~UII~ of risk. Most of tl~c birtl~n~t~thcn 

her :III An~cricnt~ IIIIIIIC. "We wcrc ttild t1111t in tltcsc trnt~s;~ctio~~s-~~~~likc wonien surnltltougl~ 

Molly \\fill itlcntify l~ersclfns p:lrt rcndcril~g their cl~iltlrcn tl~rougl~ nn apcntlf 

this f:~rnily, COIIIIII~~I~~Y 

IIII~I cotIntry, cy--l~:~vcn't rcccivc~l ndcqu:~tc cout~sclin_c. 

there will be tin~cs, prtrbi~bly when sltc inost nr~d tl~crcfore nrc nlorc likely to cl~nn_cr 

W:III~S tobe likccvcryo~~c clsc, \\'l~en sl~c \\,ill tl~cir tnintl 111 the last minute. Alsn, the fee 

scc obvious tlill'crcnccs lron~ us it1 :Ippe:lr- involved nlny cross the inurky lcgnl line 

nncc. l'ol~r~vcn nnrllc thnt cvits foreign n~ight bctwccn intlcpet~tlent ndoption n11t1 baby 

n~nkc tl~osc pcriods rl~orc dillic~~lt." sclling. Tl~cre nrc no lnws specifying hrtv 

As wcll~~sgoi~~goutsidctl~cU~~itcd Stntcs, much p:lrcnts can lcgnlly pny to get n child. 

couples dissi~tisficd wit11 public nnd privntc Uut t11c tot111 cost-cvl~icll cntl cover lcp31 

ngcncics hnvc incrc:~singIy turncd to intlc- fccs, tl~c birtl~n~otl~cr's l~ospital hills, trnnsportation 

nnd some living expcnscs-sl~ould 

not bc so high 

thnt it nppcnrs us if the ndop 

tive pnrents actually paid the 

n~othcr-to-be for currying her 

child to term. 

Fraud: Son~c would-be parcnts 

are dcsperntc enough to 

tnkc nny child nt any price. 

whichis why t11c"grny n~arket" 

and "black market" nrc flourishing. 

111 these transnctions. 

thecl~ild'sn~cdicnl rccordsmay 

be fnked or his ngc misrepresented-ns 

Los Angeles Job 

Corps director Jncquic Richmar~discovercd 

wl~cr~nmedical 

cxnn~inntion of thc9-pound 12- 

ounce Mcxicnli child shc \\.as 

considering adopting revealed 

thnt the bnhy wns not four days 

old, as she had bccn told, but 

scvcn n~ontl~s. Somctin~cs the 

cl~ildrcn have been kidnnpped 

or tnkcn fron~ thcir pnrents by 

frnud. Othcr times, there is no 

bnby, nnd couplcs are left with 

both nn enlpty wallet nnd an 

cmpty bnssinct. 

Last n~ontl~ the FI31 conlirn~cd 

thnt it hns bccn invcstignting 

an nllcged adoption 

scan1 thnt it belicvcs llceccd ns 

7%~ 1)i~rrglnscs: s:,f roorrr jrrsl tvnilirrg for n hnhy 

ninny us 100 couples in 18 

stntcs. DcbbicTnnrir, who ran 

pcndcnt ndoplions. In these, tl~e ndoptivc nu i~tloptiot~ scrvicc in Willcox. Ari7.., nnd 

pilrcrlts tle:~l with tl~c prcgnnnl \\'on11111 ci- Ijrynn M. IInII, wl~ooperi~tcdn toplcssbnr in 

thcr directly or tl~rougl~ n lnwycr or other El I':~so, I'exns, nllcgcdly cl~urged couples 

intcrn~edinry. Sevctt ycnrsngoSuc~~nd Steve SJ,OM)orr~~orcfori~rrnr~gi~~g tl~cndoptionof 

Ilouglns of Murpl~ysl~oro, Ill., upplied to Mexicnn i~~fi~nts. Wl~ile son~e adoptions 

t\r80ngcncics, but werc toltl tl~cy \vould 11:lvc wcrc arri~ngctl, invcstigntors sny otl~cr cou- 

II tl~rcc-ycnr wnit for n cl~ild. Discc~uri~gctl. plcs received neitl~er children nor a refund. 

t11cy conlt~clcd t~~~otl~cr loci11 ilgcncy witl~ n No critninnl cl~srgcs 11i1ve bcen filed, but 

rcpt~ti~tion for getting infi~t~ts q~~ickly, h11t Tnnncr i~nd I lnll 11:lvc been sucd by II~cStnte 

tlecided ngninst tl~i~t route wl~cn they 11curd oflown under II~cCot~sotner F:rnud Act. 

tl~i~t it wo111tl c~st $1 1,500. "An sli~rn~ goes Outri~gctl by tltc n ~~~gnit~~de of tile SC~III, 

olT in your III~II~ 

(VIICII you IIII\~C to ~ IIY tl~i~t KIIIIS:ISen. llobcrt rJole 11ss drnftcd II fcd- 

1nuc11 forn~~:~tIoptio~~,"s:~ysS~~e. 

"Wedidn't crnl net t1111t ~0111t1 pcrtni~~ to intersti~ten~~d 

wt~~lt tobuy a lifc."No\vtl~cy I~nvea'rittet~ to intcr~lntion:~l :~tloptio~~s nr~tl \vot~ld provide 

:I long list of li~wyers, fricnds rind oI)stcIri- sti1li.r pcn:tllics tl~i~n current sti~tc III~VS. 

cinns in t11c 11tlpe t1111t one of t11ct11 will help I3rokcrs \v11o con~n~il nny frnud involving 

nrrangc IIII i~~tlcpcntlc~~t r~tlt~ption. So f:~r. 1111 i~doptiot~ cot~ltl he fined up to $10,000 

I~owever, tl~cy 1111vc 11:ttl IIO luck. "We 11i1ve :III~ se11te11cct1 tt~ live ycilrs ill priso~~. Also.

IIV:!I 11tlt111Iive 1111rc11ls IIII~ I~~IIII~III~CIIIS 

'l'rintl~~~~llt~!~ 1.Iljr11ry ~II (.311rclc11 CIlovc, 

coulcl trlnre cnsily SIC for civil cln~~~nges. C~~lil,, tvI1ic11 is 1i11ctl wit11 rtnc8s n11t1 ro\vs 

Altl~~fi willl ll~c trll~cr cl~~~~~gcs, Illere 

or llles, 11l1o11c hooks nllcl evcll tlilltl. 

l~nshre~~ ~~~crrcc~~~~~l~nsison 

"opc~~"nclop- 

scl~ool yc~~rlrot~ks. hlnry JI I(illrrn. 1111. 

1in11s-thnse ill wl~icl~ the birll~~nolltcr 

lil~r;~ry'sc~~f~~~~rlcr 

nt~d ~~rssitlc~~l, i.il~c~- 

I~ell~scl~nosc Il~cnclr~~~livc ~II~CII~S for 11cr sclfn VC~C~IIII of~\vt~ scnrcl~cs: trnc firr lllc 

cl~ild. Al S~IC ngc~~cics, like Suercy 

pnrcrrls wlrognve l~cr II~, n~~tl ntlcfor Ill? 

Iliclgc Pnl~~ily Cc~~lcr it1 Wl~cntu~~, Ill., 

cln~~gl~lcr slrc gllve up. Ilotl~ scnrcl~cs 

Il~chirtl~t~~oll~crrc~~dsl~it~gr~~pl~icst~ftrvo 

III~IIC~ otrl 1111y1piIy krr Rillcr~t: 11cr t1111llc~r 

ll~rce coul~lcs hclt~rc IIIII~~II~ tl~c ~IIIII 

rnl III~IIII~-r bccn~~~c n vice prcside~~l nflhc 

sclccliot~. Olhcrs, SIIC~I ns 111s 1.11ll1crnn lihrnry, IIII~ l~cr ICCII-ngc clnugl~lcr, tvllli 

S~~cinlServiccoTl'ex11s(l,SS1'),nrr1111gcn 

lives ill M~IIIICS~II~, lnlks nhoul gcrillp lo 

n~cetit~g, us~~slly ~IICII ll~cl~nl~yisl~nt~~lctl 

collcgc 11csr lliller~~. 

c~vcr. "So fi~r." snys Knll~lcc~~ Silbcr, cli- 

l'l~e Lull~crn~~ Sncii~l Scrc*icc ~~l'l'cans 

rector ortl~c SI A111o11io ollicc, "\VC'VC will nlso l~elp ndulls nt~d ll~cir birll~lmr- 

1101 l~nd ~IIC IIIIII ca~~cricnce." Carey nnrl CIS. OIC ZO-yc;~r-t~ld cr80nlnt~ \vho 

Suc Ri~~dncr ~lcciclctl In i~dnpt nner botlt 

cvorketl i11ro11gI1 ll~e t~gc~~cy nnrl ~IIII~ 

ol tl~cir cl~ildrc~~ dictl of n rnre gc~~clic 

her II~III~III IIICIIIIC~~IIII~~ ~IIC~CIIII~~ 

"n 

clisc~~rc.'l'l~cy cn~~lnctctl ~II ngctlcy cnllecl 

\\,o~~tlerTc~i capcric~~cc." SISI, wl111 

New Ilcgin~~i~~gs ill Snnln A I, Cnlil., cloest~'l W I~ to give l~cr Isst IC, llnd 

ntld were stmll being it~lervic\\*cd by n 

two t~~isc~lrringcs ~lrlrl says she lvn~ 

prcgnnal 16-yenr-old wl~o l~nd selcclcrl 

"scnrctl tl~nl I ~vot~ld ~tever bc t~l~le 10 

tl~eir6sur11C. Tl~c girl, Micl~cllc lll~ocln- 

hnvc n cl~ild nt~d lo lt~ok inlo ll~cycs or 

bnrpcr, capccls lo give hirll~ Illis wcck 

soo~ebotly I cvns rclnled lo." Also, she 

ttr~d in~rr~nlinlcly turn llrc hnhy 

snys, "I wi~l~lcd in sny ll~n~~li 

yoa, n ~ lo ~ d 

ll~c l~it~d~~crs. "Wl~nt lurl~s nlc (1 

lcll her ll~nt she hnd I~~C ll~c rig111 dccinnlt~ml~~css 

of lhc proccs 

sion. I grew up ill n very nflluc~~l ~IIIII- 

"Yo11'rc nol denli~~g wi 

ily will^ wo~~rlcrrul pi~rct~ls-il wns n 

rei~ucrnls. Wc k~~ow Micl~clle now nt~d 

tlrcnn~." 11111 sl~c IIIIS no i~~lcnliot~ or 

sl~e'snspecinlndy." 

'Audltlon'r III iorlcpc~~ 

lhe llnrlics i~~volvcd cnn l~nvcns 

lillle colllncl ns tl~cy cboosc. 

~JIO knew olbo111 prcgnnnl S 

teen-nger Jen~~ic Melcbcr n ~ ~ d 

cooplc who mnred lo ndop 

tllcrn logetl~cr for n mcclir~g. 

wnsslrnincd." rcn~e~~~bcrs tl~c 

nnd bcr hushnnd inlerprelct 

let~ce lo mcnn sl~e did11.1 likc l 

tl~rccsornc nlcl ngnin ll~rec 

dit~~~cr rind n slroll nround 111 

"Everything wns muc11 loo 

snys ll~c husbnnd. "The fir 

likennnodilioa, but ll~isot~e 

dnle." Dulslill Jco~~icdidn'I 

111l1n111clic will lcncfc n file IIII 

Finnlly, over spngl~etli tl~c 

I ll~e visilor 1101 lo look n ~ ~ d 

Jeor~iet~~ndcne n~tnou~~ccn~ 

roortr-k~~owit~g n ~ 11npi11g ~ d 

lo know you'rccapecling in I look rind gel SOIC l~elpfi~l 

wire lnlcr hecnrne Jennie's 

sl~c snys. "Lnws hn\,en'l 

nlnze clnss, rind botl~ shc n 

11 1111n1nn scnlit~~e~~l ycl, hul 

wcrc in lhc delivery roo^^^ 

l~clpi~~g rcnl people." 

\vns born-the wife nssis Aduplio~~ l~ns been scrvit~g 

Jca~~ic, tl~c 11usbn11d In 

people's i~ecds 111 lcnsl si~~cc 

picl~~rcc. 

ll~e l'l1ur11011's dnugl~ler rt~ut~d 

Open ndoplioe isn't for ev- 

bnby Moreson tl~criverbn~~keryollc: 

ISST, Torcantt~plc, re. 

cvolvir~g cot~li~~unlly lo nlecl 

porls ll~nl one-tl~ird of ll~cli- 

ll~c C~IIIII~~II~ rlen~nttds nrsocienls 

nl ila Snn Anlo~~io ollice 

cly. More cl~n~rges nrc i~~cvilnopl 

Tor ll~c lrndilio~~ hlc, hut CIC ll~ing Isccrlni~~: for 

proncl~. UuI il is II~II nenr 

11dopli1111 III work \\*ell, ngc~~cics 

controvcrsinl as tl~c question of III~SI be flcxil~lc, ~~tlcrptive ymr- 

\\81~cll~er ull hirll~ n ~ ndnpliot~ ~ d 

ellls rcsoc~rccf~~l nt~d hirll~psr. 

records sl~ould hc opc~~. Only CIIIS sccurc ill 111e kt~c~wlctlge 

Alnhnn~n, Knnsns nntl I'enn- 

~IIIII ll~circl~ilrlrc~~ will gel gtlcrtl 

sylvi~~~in t~ow nllow nn nd~rll 

11o111cs-n11t1 lolsi~f Iovc. 

nrloplcc lo receive Inis original 

hirlh ccrli~cnlc-wl~icb l:ll.l:l:N KKI:IN 

~~JII- 

S111111.1:Y it8 Lo. Atn~rlc-. IIANIIII. 

Inins ll~e II~III~S of his t~nlurnl SIIAI'III~II,, II~~I~~IP, JKICUY 

pnrenls-n~~d n IIIIII~~II~ of 0111- 

lll1CKl.P.Y It, Ihn~lon. NIKKI 1,INKK 

~ ~ ~ I#! I ~43>h~#!~I

I1 

Sometines it's a great feellng 

to iw adopted because I Icnotv 

nW parents chose me to be 

the& daughter inskad of just 

gettlng stuck rvlth me, But 

-- 

other thos It3 hard because I 

wonder a lot koct the people 

who gaw me Me. I r:.c;nder if 

they dss me. " 

Wliel, 14 

'at tfrneg I rvfsb q ~ friends r 

dldn 't know I rvns adopted 

teause W8y ask rveird 

questfons like: 'IQy dld pur8 

real parents give you e:.,avf?' OF 

'Dld you grow up in an 

orphm~age?' I iu~orv thoy don't 

I ~Slizs it, but it makes me feel 

I Ue a fie&k " 

-mma Dam 16 

11Prn proud of hing adopted It 

; makes me feel specid. Otller 

I than that, I [?on't think it's 

afl"ect&d nv lffe thnt much." 

i 

Bmm.mYlm5mrm ma.&, 17 

I1 

! I tliinlr adopted coopie l~ave a 

right to knorv the@ heritage. I 

, mean scmetfnicls I get tho 

i ieellng I drc~yt?d f?om ouk?r 

space or somelhug. 1Ifk suc:~ a 

nlyst.?~~. I feel lL40 a r.t3qtV 

Inlpn9ta~t pityco of nly lilil Lc 

mL~slng uld I ~~ccd to get it all 

I together. " 

BUly Jeiu~, 10 

14 

I 

r-'l 1's easy to see that atlopled tcens is lo oversimplily llie wliolc issue. Pnd 

hnve sbmc sp~cinl lcrlinr~s in rlsal bccnusc wc hnvcn'l la& cn .1 qood io3k 

wllll lhal those who nrcril ndoplcd ol l\hal'a hq~pcnlno in II~ODII~II. wel~10 

don't have. blany of lhcse feeiings 

are poworlul, complex and ccnltrs- 

; lng. Whal makes rnallcrs worse is 

I :.:- . 

that 

lor mony years adocless' 

leellngs have been masked, unspoken 

and avoided. In lheir placc hnve ollen 

come lanlasles, lnller conflict, selldoubl, 

guill, and, rnosl lmportanlly, many 

unanswered queslions. 

The questions that rest heavy on an 

adoptee's mlnd are dillicult to handle because 

01 the sensilive Issues ltial surround 

adoption and bccauss the 

perpeluoled old myllis and ways 01 praclice." 

LOOKING BACIC 

Adoplion has been n part of socialy lor 

at lcast as lor Onck in !lme as our wrrtlen 

history records CJ. In the bcginnlng, as 

now, adoplion bnsicallv nroant lo assulnr? 

all tho resp?~~sibililics 01 caring lor 

sumoone else. Wlren adoplive adults 

lake on tliis responsibility. Ihcy've more 

or less ngrced lo fecd, clolhe and sheller 

llie adoptoo, as wall as make sure 

she or lin gels a lot 01 Iwe, goes lo 

sclrool on lirnc, lcarns lhir lillcrcnce be- 

Vm?n righl and wrong, ord do evcrv- 

answers allecl more peo~le than jusl Ills 

adoptes. Adoplive pnronls, birth psrenls, 

siblings, relalives. friends and 

adoplion midialors l~~rolcsrionals who ~IIIII~ nlsr! 111315 invo:vtd ill "rnlsing" 

lnnlch ado~live parenls wrllr cll~ldren) all nriolllcr pcrson. In ollrrr urr?rds. Illcy ve 

have dilllcull feelings involved in ilie laken a child in as a full-lledgcd member 

adoplion experience. 

of !ho !?milv. The adoptee takcs lh? 

Much el the conluslon aboul adoplion lam~ly name and assumes all the rrgiiln 

slems lrom tho lact llial there has bccn tlrat any ollrcr pcrson in illo lam:ly hq?s 

lillle subslarrllal and corroboralcd re- L!rrlil a low years back. t!rc goal ol ihc 

search done on it. In fact, no olio is cvcn ajuption process ssclncd lo ho fillri~ncj 

sure how many adoplccs llicrc n!c il ll!o the riglil clrlld for a cticp!? Ilinl was 

United States. Fat1 ol the problcln 1s lhal .i.:arcliing, instend of s~rirply inahinr] srlre 

odoplions are regulaled on a slnlc.by. Inn1 all homcless cbildrori wrre proleclslnle 

basis, and thorn's usually liltlo .>d. Agencics (91, in llio case ol privnlo 

communrcalion hotween slntcs. ~donlions, doctols or !n~v~rs) would try 

Recently. Iliouglr, oxperln 111 adoplicn !o frrrd a ctiikl v~lllr srrt;!lnr physical char. 

havc begun lo dcvolo rnorc slurly lo un- aclrrislics ns l'lc adof~livc! parents so 

dcrslnndlng nrirl lryirrg lo nllcvinlc llrc !tic irdoplec nnrrld loolr niclt? like ;I bio 

I 

Iroubling Icclinqs and qucslions ndcc. .c,.~...,iI. ._. ~iir!~nhur 01 lllo lamily. Tllr!~ did 

lees and llicir lnniillns nrn lnccd ivilli. 011s bocauso, ill !Pal li1r5 C-Y~CIIS on 

Rnubcn Ponrior, n socrnl worht?r \vlio is xJ(!pti*>n lr!ll Ilrnt 11 \-ictrI,l b ~ lor l 

Ilic Dircclor ol Conirii~lrirly S.:rvices a1 i!vt!ryoric 11 llio ado()lii)ri w~?rc "IJIS. 

Visla Dcl hrar Cllrld.Caro S:.rvlcr iri LL'S ~;:l:-:td" Iron1 llrn oulsrdc :.ior:d. SL'I"~! 01 

A~r!lclns llrid co-nrllllqr ol 111~' 11rf~rl1o11 !!~cxpcrls r!vr!l~ rncorrirr~r!ridcd :l>nf 1 l i ~ 

Tri;ltl~~lf! (Ilotlblcclay-t\rlcIlor~, is ollc ol rrrlo(~livo (l;lrcrrts no1 lc!ll I):.:. ct~drll;nt 

11ios~ t~x[~r!rls. "Wi?'rc jl~sl III!IIIII~III!I lo stl: !lad br?rrl ncioptr?tl. 111 Illis viny, llwy 

dovclop llro rcscilrclr loolr. rtccllcd lo bcl~cvcrl, ll:c Iti~rd q~~:,!:lic~r~s 2nd lccl. 

~~ntlcrsliintt ti~l~i~~li~~r," 

111- oifi1:1111~, !rlt~:; sirrruur~d~ril~ 1111d1r111>11 COUI~I b~! 

"Wlinl I'm nlrnlil wu'vo tlorit~ 111 llro fusl ,ivoirlud. 

~l'l,l;\~h!~~~~~ll 

IrJl!4

Forlunalely, adoplion experls now realize 

lhal lhls lypo 01 deccclion loslcrcd 

the false idea lhal being adooled was 

somelhing lo be nshimed'ol. and 

caused ado~lees' oueslions lo be evad. 

ed. 01 course. there is no reason wliy an 

adoplee should be ashamed. Bul llicrc 

are some explanaliorls lor wliy people 

have fell uncomlorlable discussing 

adoplion openly and honoslly. 

One ol the reasons has lo do wilh thc 

lac1 lhal many couples choosc lo adopl 

a child because lliey are biologically un. 

able lo conceive one. lnlerlility is nevcr 

easy lo lalk aboul. Also. Ihe idca of 

adoplion is uncomlorlahlo lor some bo. 

cause many ol lhe cli~ldrcn plncpd lor 

adoplion were born oul of wedlock. And 

unlll rcccntly. that was naturativ dillict~lt 

lor people lo discuss bccnusc of tho 

sensilive moral and cnlollonal issucs 111- 

volvcd. So Ill0 relalnd isstlc 01 ndopl~o~i 

was carelully nvo~ded as wcll, 

Today sociely is mole wllllng lo dis. 

Cuss many things. from rvoriicn in cn. 

recrs to pcople's dlllcrlng lnslcs in nlilsic 

lo sex. This has had a poslltvc cllccl 

on adoplion bccausn pcoplo arc Ircer to 

discuss llic issuo rv~ll~oul lc~r ol bclrrq 

condomnod by ollicrs And bcc;nrsa 

pooplc nre talking and sharing Ircllngs 

oboul ndoplion. rlioro nlid more nilon. 

or C,il~lornia. liaro pnrenls who 

lees nro rcnllzlng llinl llic qll~~sl~cr~s and I~nlihi!rs or poclsnil nllccl who you are. 

conlusod fCCllngS IhCy'VC [ J P SlllllJ. ~ Your ldcrll~ly conliccls you lo olhcr 

gling willi arc tiorrnnl nlld nollilrlq lo bo pi!o(~lo nrid ninht!s you Iccl a pnrl ol llio 

asharnod 01. In:;load, lhcy are collimoll world ilround you. For cxamplo, you car1 

28 

lk1cllltly w,Il1 pflnplo who !Ill 1rl1. 

yious bolicls or \vlro likc llin 5nmc 

scliool si~t~jccls ns you (lo. VJllrrl yoil'ro 

willi lllcr,c pcoplc, you loel n s~?ll!iO of 

bolongirlg. 

For n11 ndopicd locn, illis gf?rrso 01 

ldonlily can tic cloutlctl. "An nrJoplcd 

pars011 tins n real prolrlc~n in Ilr~~l~rig out 

wlio tic is." reports ndopliori cxpcrl Mr. 

--. .... 

Pnnnor. "Tllcrc's n pnrl ol l~irn lllnl's 

981 K Tcr~nos~t~o 51.. 

blockcti ~ cca~sc ihcrc's n~rotlicr SCI 01 

Sc1rt Frnrtcisco. GI ?4107 parerils arirl n lot ol pcrsorinl lilslory lhnl 

Is usually qullc urihriowri lo Iilni." 

Sinco ndoplccs gcncrnily tlon'l krlow 

Ihcir nnlural nnccslry, or how Illcy liC in. 

lo lire pnsl and i~;~vo irsunlly ncvcr scon 

oliicr pcoplo rvlio look I1I:c Ilioln, llloy 

can somcliriics gcl IIic Ic~?lirrq lhnl 

picccs lo lircir iilcf~~~ly pll;.zIc 010 llllS3- 

ing. "A lot 01 kids soy. 'I have my rnolher's 

oycs.' or 'I'm n pcrlccliorl~sl liko tnv 

grandlathor.' " orplslns Sa:a!l, n 16. 

year.old odoplcc. "But pe~plo qvrlh~ are 

adoplcd can't do Ilia!. Sor~rell!ncs I gcl 

the locling Ilia1 my idct'l~ly vins given lc 

me by my adoplivo porenls and llial 

nolhlng was really mino in lile lirsl 

place." 

Adopled Icons who lcel likc Sarah 

mlglil wonder: "How much 01 who I am 

Is a rcsull 01 my biological parenls, and 

how much Is because 01 my adoplive 

parenls7" The answer lo \his question is 

lied up in an age-old scicnlilic quandary 

over wtial allocls a person rncrc: horedily 

or environmonl. In olhcr wolds, arc 

problems lhal nccd to be recognized, we more a producl 01 biological iXl0r~. 

undcrslood and dealt with. he pc3plo such as llio gones we inlier~l, or cnviron. 

Ilial medlale adoplions are also realizing mcnlal faclors, Such as how nnd whore 

Ihal llle secrecy Illat has surrounded we are raised? 

adoplions in lhe pas1 may no1 be heallhy A delinilive answer lo lliis quosllon 

lor lllose involved. In lighl ol this more hosn'l been found. Bul regardless 01 

open atmosphere. the many quostions who's riglit or wrong in tho "nnlure vs. 

about adoplion are now bcing asked- nurture" dcbalc, it's easy lo i~ndcrsland 

and golling answered. 

why an adoplce miqlit have a slrong de- 

WHO AM I ? 

Tho process of moving lrom child lo 

adull is ComDlicaled lor many loens, 11's 

a time lor liguring oul wlio you arc as nn 

individual and how you lil inlo the society 

you'rc a par1 01. You may h;ive oskcd 

yourscll qucsllons likc: Whal lype of person 

am I? WIint do ollior pcoplc itiink ol 

1nc7 VJhaI lypc ol career should I go in. 

10.7 \.2')1,11 do I wan1 lrom life? 

slre lo know more aboul her biologrcal 

parenls and the nalursl anccslN Illat 

she's a par1 01.01 coursc, ninny adopled 

people c'on'l lee1 Ihnl lliuir birlli parcnls 

make much ol a dilleronce cn Ilrc ncr. 

son ltiey'vo bccomc. But whclh?r Ilia1 

missing idcnlily piccc in ari adoplec's lilc 

puzzlc isn't liiat imporlnnl lo Ihc ndnploe 

or is all.corisumirig, il lcnds lo tho big. 

gost qucslion an adoplnc laces. 

W H O A R E MY 

N A T U R A L 

P A R E N T S ? 

Your idenlily, or llic individual mlxlurn 

ol pcrscnnllly and physical trails lilnl (lo 

illlo rnnklng up wlio you are, colrics lrom 

ninnv sources. Somc 01 your idcnl~ly is 

lianrlcd lo YOU al hirlli-the SIIB~C 01 Arc fltcy nlrvc~ M1lro e llrc aorn,?n who 

your nose ?nd your r~alionnlily, lor cxnni. Ilnd rrrc? Is sllo sl~orl lrkc nro7 Docs silo 

plo. Olllcr pnrls ol your idrnlily arc ;IC- livo around I~oro? Have I pnsscd llcr on 

nuirccf as voii nnc. So ~nrcnls. Iricnds. 111c S%CCI? 

Irnchcrs. cxpcrlcnces and many olllcr Tlicsc aro vcry undcrslnrldnhlc rlucs- 

Iiiclors go lrilo ils dcvclopnlcril. 111o Incl limns, hut ihoy'rc somcllrncs cxlrcrncly 

lllnl vo~t'rc 11th or poor, live in Alabnmil d~ll~cull lor an nrloplco lo ask. Ollcrl tills 

is hccausc adoplr!cs Illink (or Iln'~c bcon 

lold) thnl wondoring aboul lliclr "ollrcr 

sol ol porcnls" rncnris lhcy'rc tl~?irig ttn. 

grnlclul lo Itlo (Inrcnts wlio rnlsi?d llicr~i. 

"I don'l l~ko lo lnlk al)oul niy l~irlll par. 

I'l~IiNi~ilAlICII 190.1

. 

ovens~,O~KD 

- inn 

Draw Me 

I You mav win one of iive $1.495.00 

Art Scholirships or any one '01 lllly 

510.00 cash prizes. 

Make your drawing an size excopl 

like a tracing. Use pencil. &en, aualilied 

esllmale 01 . his . or -. her drawinn 

~ - . -. 

Scholarsliir, winncrs wiil receive 

Fundamenlals ol Arl laugh1 by Arl 

, . Inslluclion Schools, onn oi Amorica's 

loadina home sludv art schools. Our 

1 . oblociive is lo iind prospocllve 

sludenls who appear lo bn properly 

mollvaled and have an appreclalion 

and liking lor art. 

1 

Your entry will be judgod In the 

month ri?ceivcd. Prizosj awarrlu~: lor 

besl drawings 01 various sub!ccls 

received from qunlillnd enlrnnls ace 

14 and over One $25 cash award lor 

Ihe besl drawing lrom onlranls ago 12 

and 13. No drawings can be rulurncd. 

Our sludcnls and prolcssionnl artists 

no1 el~giblc. Conlosl winners will bo 

nolilied. Scnd your entry loday. 

! ART INSTnUCTION SCHOOLS 

! Please snmf my dr.lrtog in your 

i 

monmly conrra. IPLEASE P~INII 

Cmntr.-. ....- . .- Zl".-. 

la'.p~n. tl"".P.I . . - . - . - -. 

*' IWI All ln,tlutl r., sc1,001, 

86 

I 

SEARCIiING ADOPTION: 

FOR ANSWERS 

I II~IIIIIIII.II lttt~u I ,.I,.,. 2% 

Silverrr~nn 01 Nassau Cornriitlriily Co1. 

lcgo ill New Yolk, one nl ftjc~riinst nlrik. 

ing l~nrl~nrls wns llinl nlioi~l Iwo.llri~rls nl 

For all o~loplcr!~, solvinll the nivslcl~cn 1110 ndopllvc pnr~!lllr. fl~ll.~.l~~n~ll Wrrc In 

nl~oul llic~r o~~qtris In no1 cnsy bcci~tlsc ol invor ol opr:li IIII?~ In all~l~l~on, t.11 Pan. 

slnlc laws lliil lorrn n bnrficr bclwccn nor lcels, "Wc'vo alwnys ignorcrl llin 

adoploos and pcrsonal inlormnllon. Incl lhnl birlh pnrcnls have a nccd lo 

strcli as llioir oriqinal birlh ccrlilicalo, know llial lliclr child is okay nnrl llial 

morlicol hislory nnd infnrmnl~on nboul Iiisir dillicull dcc~s~on was llic rlqlrl one." 

Iheir birlli parcnls and placcniaril. Tliis So, 10 iry lo snlisly llic liccds arid 

lnlormnlion Is gcricrnlly kzpl in n lilo nl righls ol all ir~dividunls in lhc adcol~on 

Iho ndoplion agency llial plnccd Illom proccss, slnlos nre bcqinninq lo cllnngc 

willi llicir ndoplivo parcnls. 0111 in cvory past policies lo rnako iI cnsier lor lho 

slale exccpl two, Alabnma and Knnsns, adoplcos lo qcl lhoir quesllons an. 

I11csc liles aro "clos~d" or !'snal~d." swered. For example, in some sli~les, 

This means no one, cxccpl the ndopl~on tlioso l~~volved iri adoplion linvc Ill0 ODmodialors, 

Is allowed lo see llic inlorme lion ol slgnlng "waivers ol conlidcnlinli. 

lion. 

ly." In mosl cnscn. Ihourlli. Ilic birlh par. 

Somelimes, liowcver, social workers enls, llic adopllv~.' parcnls and the 

al adoplion agcncics will share some ol ndoploo all niusl conlacl ilic agency and 

the Inlormalion willi an ndoplcc who's sign tho waiver belore Iris inlcrrrlnlion 

reaclicd llie tgo ol 18. (Or. lor lhose un- can Ljc roleascd. 

der 18. they'll discuss the conlonls wilh Bcsides Ilial. some slalos now oller 

Ihe adoplive parcnls.) Bul lhey cnn'l re. "open ndoplion." wiiorc bolh scls 01 

veal any inlormalion Ihal mlqhl idanlily paronls In the ndoplion process con 

who the birlh paronls are. Slmllarly. mcel belorc the adoplion is lirialized and 

nolhlng In tho records lliat mighl Idenlily exchange inlormalion. Tiioy can nlso dewho 

tho adoplee is can be released. cido lhon whcllier they vianl lo idenlily 

These regulalions wore bull1 inlo lhe Iliemsolves by nnrno or eslablish any onadoption 

process, say adoplion mcdia- gcing con~aci. 

lors, lor the proleclion of all lhe pnrlies There aro also sell-tielp organizalions 

involved. In llie pasl, ndoplion oxpcrls across tho counlry whcrc adbled pe@- 

feared an adopleo mighl wear the false ple can lurn lo lor help in gelling around 

"lllegllimale" label lhrouglioul her lilo odoplion's barriers, parliccrlnr!~ lor II1cso 

and lhal sho mighl be negalively pro- -who are iliinking ol searching. They cller 

judged because ol il. And the sealed guidance lor lhosc slruggling v~illl OUGS. 

liles were meant to ward of1 fears ol bolh llons about tho ndopl~on experience. 

llie nalural and adoplivc parenls who 

were considerinq adoplion. "Tho nnonymily 

surrounding adoplion sinco ils bnginning 

was in an cllorl lo prolecl llie 

idonlily of the birlli parcnls wlicn llicy re- 

I 

I~nquislicd their child lor adgplion." says 

Ina Jorge, slalc direclor 01 orloplion and 

in.hornc scrviccs lor the Children's 

Horns Sociely of Calilomia. In addilion, 

saks hlr. Pannor ol llio Visla Del Mar 

Child.Caro Scrvicc. "Adoplion medialors 

satt/ their role as prolocling ndoplivc percnts 

lrom the Illreal ol birlli pnlenls vilio 

niigtil someday pop up and lnko lhcir 

clilldrcn awny." 

tvlnny pcoplc now lccl, howcvor. Iliat 

keeping personal inlormalion lrom atlop. 

lees IS an rnlrinnernonl upon lhs~rigiils 

as cilizcns. Onc pcrson who lcels lliis 

wny is Florence Fislicr, an ndoplcn wlio 

spcnl 13 yenrs searching lor iicr bi~ll~ 

parcrils and wrolc n l~ook on her cxpcrl. 

cricc callcd S1?3rclrirrg For Anna Fislrcr 

(Fnv~celll. Expla~ns Ids. I:islier. "I lccl we 

have nn nbsolule riglil lo kriow our n;ilir. 

rnl licr~lnqc nntl dclcrm~nc oilr lives wllli 

lrccdonr fusl lhc way nrly rrori.adoplod 

pcrson docs " 

In nddilion lo lhis nrgumcnl lor opr!n- 

Ing adoplion Illcs. ninriy lr~rlli pnronls 

nnd adopllvc pnrorils nlso sot!m In lccl 

Ihnl llio ntlopl~oli proct.ss wouitl bn 

moro lair il lliu socrol lllcs were cllrninnlcll. 

Irl Incl. 111 :I slilcly oI ovcr .11)0 

ndoplivc co~rplos tlono try snc~olorly pro. 

lessors Wiilinn~ Fci!lolrr~nrr nrld Art~old 

And some. such as Floronco Fislicr's or. 

gnniznlion. Adoplces' Lil:otly lvlovemenl 

Association, oller compulerized reqislrics 

where adoplees who aro ovcr 10- 

or adoplive parcnls lor adcplces under 

18-and bill11 parcnls who arc scarcllinq 

car1 send ill basic slalislics (such as dale 

and place of birlli, name ol ado~lion 

agency. hi~ir color, clc.) in hopos llial 

birlh parcnls ertd cii~ldron can bo 

mnlclied up. These groups can bc local. 

cd bv cnnlnclinq a locd .;r!oolion agency. 

or cl.cc?inq in llie Yclloc. Pogns lor 

the nearcsl arloplion associaliorl. 

.................. 

Wlion lalkiriq aboul individunls wlio oro 

par! ol a group because ol a shored 

cliaraclcrislic. wliclhcr il be adoplion or 

hair color, 11's all loo easy lo lulnp llit?m 

inlo a qcncrnlizcd cnlcqory. Uul liiis is 

Ilnlair, bccnuse il sla~iips oul llie indivitl. 

unlily ol ll~c group's lncrnbers. Every 

ndopleo is tlillcrcnl, and cvcry adopllon 

is dillcrcnl. 

Sn when il comcs lo ligurintl out tho 

Icollnqs and lintl~rig ariswcrs lo qucs. 

liorrs abocll nnylliirrg as pcrsorinl ns 

adoplion, rcnicrnbcr: II you Iflei you 

nc~?d lo scarcli lor nnswcrs, you rlon'l 

have lo locl aslin~iictl ntioul il. Il's bnsl 

lo lnlk nljot~l yotrr lr!el~ri[ls wllli soriiconc 

you lrlr!il, sucli as your ncloplrvc p;lrcr~ls, 

rnll~t!r ll~nri krt!p Illo~i~ lioIlI~.d trp ili:i~do 

yo~l. If yo11 rlnli'l lr!ol yo11 nccll llir!sc 

qil~!sliolrs n~~swt!rc?d. lii;~I's okily loo. It 

all tlr!(~or?ds on yotr.w

- 

-:Raising a family. rakes new questions 1. ,! 

By Tdcla Crana . . . .. 

Herald SIBH wnter F9U#D Adoptee Vicky ~chunyner~~as &@ST The d"ly information now available" 

able lo search out her biological'molher and about Suzanne.Rubln's sperm-donor father is. 

discovered a new career in the Process. 

. . thal he:was a USC -- medical studentjnJQ48. 

... . 

A coffee table separated Suzanne 

Rubln from tbc l&year-old 

glrl she gave up for adoptlon when 

she herself was only 13. Seated In 

the same meetlng room on the far 

side of the cable werc lhc glrl's 

adoptlve parenu and a psychlr. 

rrbt. 

The adoptlve, parenls had b 

grudgingly conceded lo the reun- 

Ion and they demanded that Rubln 

explaln why. after so many years 

of sllence, she suddenly declded to 

show up. They remlnded her that 

she had glven the baby up to an 

adoptlon agency: mother and 

daughter were complclc 

.. . strangers., . 

em-> ut ubXTErd i~tttr of whai 

wa, sald. Instead, she watched her 

offspring habitually llck her lower 

lip. and war .remlndcd of her 

chlldhd aweelheart. her fl~t 

lover, the young man who ucclden. 

tally fathered thts chlld. Ile had. 

-. .- 

that same.~rrltatl'ng/cndearlng 

mannerism. They weren't stran. 

gers after all. ' 

That reunlon look place flve 

yearsago. Now 35, Rubln alls in the 

llvlng rwm of her North Ilollywood. 

aportmeoc where she llv~ 

wllh two very spoiled - 

:donor.' Aft& she bad..' 

never marrled nor hpc she had begun berseuct, for her dauuhler. ,; 

another Chlld. But she SP that Rubin's fauler tcld her that he wu . 

although daughter slnce she that haan't aykward seen lint her slertlo, not her genetlc father, that hewer 

they meetlng. plan they to meet ore agaia in touch and "But -01 then W, dev-rcd," It made sense Rubln to me. Gyk I ;. 

"1 want her to know I was put in never got olon~-. with my legal .. 

maternlly home against my wlll," father. And now I think 1 .. under- . 

Rubln say*, "that I 

.. '.. .. 

didn't just give stand why. 

her away:' 

I WM growlng up, people 

tho mcantlme.-Ruhin-h-'ob always asked my dad where he Not 

smed with another search: She is me. They srld I dldn't look a thlnR 

, trying (0 find her blo~oglcol father, often like him. asked and U they I war were adopted. rkhL MYI 

parenu uld no, but 1 Rrew UP

"l'worrled hcforc 1 mct my brolhcr, 'What If lhls 

ilrlnklng tlrry were covcring 1:p. It 

guy is a crcc 7' DUI when we met, we Just grlnncd nl 

rirtlsl hnvc torti ttiy father up I vcr , cnclr olhcr ike fools. It was Instant rt.cognltlon." 

a tlrire lsskc~l or sotncnnc clsc aakcd: 

Sclrutnmcr bccnmc n prolcsslonal adoption rcsmrchcr 

. I'm sure he ncvcr rcsolvcd his 

and hkgnn lo nttcnd. local, regional nnd nntlonal 

ferlings of lnndcquacy over hclng 

convcnllonr. . . 

.. . 

-- 

Ucrllc.. 

"I had always thouahl' that ' 

arliflclal lnsctnlnatlon hy donor 

0th Ruhln and Schr~rrlmer arc advocates of 

was a rcccnl pIicno~ircn~n,.I slle 

openness In adnpllon, hut unllkc Ruhllr, Sclrtrrm 

says, "ljut It lrns been around since 

nicr domn't bcllcvc 1111s klnd of rcsearch sholrld 

. the lntc IB00s." i nccek~nrlly he done by cv~iy nrloptc~l chlld. 

- 

/ Ruhln says she has learned lltat i "If rntl search. you havc lo he prepared for the 

hcr gcnctlc father wns a medlcal 

wnrut,' she says. "Anyllrlng is posslblc, and If yott can't 

sllrdenl at USC In 1048. She snys 

hnndlc clllrcr a rcJcction or 8 complete cnibrnce, then 

' she recngnlzcs tlic possll~lllty lhnt 

don't senrch!' 

, she niay ncvcr know more than Schummer recalls only two cnscs where scarchcs 

that, that It Is unlikely thcrc arc 

Icd lo profound sndncss for the adopled adull. One 

any records of hirrt - or that If she 

dld locnlchlnr, he would acknowl. 

1 cdfii' her.. 

, . Sludles lndlcate thal some 70 

: percent of pliyslclans who conduct 

nrtlflcial lnseminntlon by donor 

IAID) do not keep records. And a .. 

1. .. 

good portlon of the rcmalnlni W percent destroy he 

! records wllhln months of the blrth. 

As a spermdonor hnhy, Rllhln lnslsts thal nll 

chlldrcn should have the right lo know thelr hlologlcal 

hcrllnge, no matter how they wcre concclved. She 

advocates the primacy of gcnellc rclntlonshlps 

through her posltlon as coordlnalor of the 1,os Angcles 

hranch of Concerned Unlted Blrth Parents (CUD), a 

natlonwldc pecr.sup' rt grou for those who rclln 

;qulshed thelr oflspr ng for a opllon. . . 

r 

mnn learned thnl hls mothcr was a proslilutc and had 

no Interest In hlm. Anotlicr dlscovcred that hls mother 

5 had dlcd In m asylum where she had spent W years ot 

her life. 

Schummer says. "Many of those I help search have 

riot and wlll not tell lhelr adoptlve parents lhnt they 

are looklng. lltcy arc afraid It would hurl them. 1 also 

he1 many chlldrcn ol.dlvorce, Many o! them grow up 

wll 1 the same qumllons as adoptem and are afrald to 

hurl mentbcm of the essemhled tamlly."' 

But there are adult adoptm who have no lnlcrml 

In flndlnfl lhelr "nalural" prenls. One such adoptce 

dcscrlbcr Ruhln and Schummer as "thc 5 percent who 

search, and lhcy are sllrrlng up trouble where there 

wasn't any for the rest of us. 

"Why should I care to flnd my blrth pnrcnlsl" the 

adoptce asks. 'pey gave me away. Dcsldcs, It would 

klll my parcnlr. Dolh my brother (also adopted) and I 

r" 'r 

: "1 should have been told thls years ago and someone lhlnk thal lcglslntlon allowlng "natural parents" to 

I . locale klds they were amart enough to glve up would 

* 

ahould have antlclpalcd thal I would wnnl to know 

.more than that my father was a donor. An AID chlld 

he an lncredlble Insult to our real parenu, the oncs 

who adopted u*" 

'has the same rlght and need as an adopted chlld to he 

:told the truth. I thlnk If spcrm donors were aware of 

harrcll Blakeley, chlef of the adopllons branch 

, the lengths somc of us have gone to to find our natural 

of the state Department ' of Puhllc Soclal 

parenfir they would hcsllnle hclore they sold thelr 

Scrvlc&, says, "Publlc pollcy on adopllon is 

genes. I thlnk U they slopped to thlnk about what they 

headed toward opennms. Blakeley says atudics show 

wcre dolng thcy would flnd another way to make that 

that reunlons arc mostly posttlve. She crcdlts Alex 

. $25," 

Through CUB, Ruhln helps other blrth nrents 

Ilnlcy's book "Roots" with fuellng public lnlcrnt 

sccklng out lhclr heritage. 

search for thc chlldrcn they rcllnguishcd lo niptlon. 

"\Ye have hundreds of adoplecs comlng to us 

She Is arl of a growlng network of lndlvlduals who 

sccklng rcunlons. Surprlslngly, there are ns many 

he1 otters clrcumvenl thcacalcd.rccord laws in ordcr 

blrth parcnls as adoplecs:' she says. "I hcllevc thls is 

to /'lnd lhelr blood relatives, Ruhln conccdcs that she 

only the tlp of the Iceberg." 

gets a vlcarlous thrlll each llme a search Is succcssfnl. 

Reuben Pannor, dlreetor of soclal work and 

So docs Vlcky Scbummer, dlrcclor of the Los Angclcs 

rcscarch at the Vlsla Del Mar Chlld Care Service in 

County Adoptlon Search hssoclatlon UCASN. 

LA., agrca. Pannor says, 'The same mlslakes now 

Schummer, 37. was lnlormcd at age 16 thal she was 

heln mnde In these new rcproducllvc areas, we made 

adopted. "It was very matler~l.fael." she says. "But 

In a 8 option carly on. We failed, In the hcglnnlng, to see 

\ llke Suznnnc. I had susprcted it all along. I had an thal the relallonshlps we sere crcatlng had to be sccn 

older brother and slstcr who wcre home grown and 1 

as a lifelong proccu. 

lookcd nothlng llke them." 

'The core Issue In these new tcchnolologlcs Is the 

But c~nllke Ruhln, Schummer was not lmmedintely 

same RS In adoption: Whclher or not to tell the clilld. 

com cllcd to explore her gcncllc roots. 

"If a couple dccldc not lo tcll thc chlld, thcy can 

"fgrcw up In a pretty hnppy famlly." she say*. "At 

look forward to llvlng wlth the sccrel, to a llfclong 

flrst the news that~l was adoplcd dldn't mean much. 

rclatlon?hlp thnt Isn't completely honmt," Pannor 

But when my adoptlve mother told me I had a hrolhcr, 

I 

explnlns. "And e chlld isn't a child forevet. What If 

that's when I began to lnqulre ahoul my parents." But 

! someone tells the chlld? Knowledge of gcnctln is 

not untll seven yearn later, nftcr tho blrth of her own 5 ' :. .. . 

daughter, dld Schuinmcr slnrt to search. ' 

.-- . , 

,- 

"My dnughtcr had cancer and I hnd to confront the 

fact thnl none of 11s is born a clean slntc," she says. "It 

. . 

dldn't matter untll my dnughtcr'b illness, untll 1 

bccornlng more and more rmprlanl. I think !he 

cot~ldn'l give tho doctors my complclc gencllc ~ chllrlrcn have a rlfilll to know thc trath." 

history." . . . I'annor docs not slrgficsl that parents tcll chlldrcn 

Alter ~ch&nmer's doughlei recovered she 

before lhcy arc rcndy, hut they should be prepared to 

scarchcd for nnd found hcr mother and her brother. 

disclrss it at any tlmc, "ldcally raltlng unlll the child 

"has survlvcd puhcrty." 

I

~~ ~.. 

aflcrcffccls of donor lnscn~lnnllon. tiit early rcstrlt.~ 

lntllcnlc lt's not until years Inter thnt sperm donors 

fully tmllze the conscquencw 01 lhclr "clonallon." 

"We found thal whcn donors grod up and l~nvc lhclr 

own chlltlren, many wonder about the cl~lltlrcn Ihcy 

hclncd crcnte." says Fannor. "'ll~ls lnformatlon as. 

touided us hccauic, llkc moqt pcople, wc nlunya 

thol~ght ll~cse wcrc t11011ghtlCss young men who 

mnctl~rlralcd for pay an11 never tho~~uht of I1 ngnln. M'c 

now know ll~ls Isn't 60. hln~~y havesalrl that ll~cy would 

makc lhc~nsclvcs nvallablc lo the chlldrcn I1 tl~crc was 

a nccd or dcslre." 

Evcn If 1I1cg don'l agree wit11 Pannor, couplcs who 

assen~ble lnmlllcs todnv cannot lrrnore thc cxlstcncc 01 

thcsearchcrs who'vc ficcnlly h&l n slgnlflcant impact 

on the atloption process. Intcrnnlionnlly. tllcrc arc at 

least265 search oraanl~ntlons and cons~iliants ollerlno 

dlrcct servlccs to tbosc who want to search. And many 

scarch groups arc alrcndy gclllna rccruests lor hcln 

from spcrmdonor bablesncirchltig otit thclr gcnclic 

history. .. .. 

M 

eanwhllc, In Callfornla fa9 In othcr slalcs), 

not only 'does the hlgh4ech rcproductlon 

lnduslry go moslly unregulated.- the law 

makes few provlslons lor the tmeltlng rclntlonshlps. 

In 1808 s legal battle was heard by the Cnlllornla 

Supreme Court lnvolvlng a couple namcd Sorcnson, 

who had an AID chlld. Four years earllcr the 

'Sorensons had both agreed that a doctor should 

perform AID on Mrs. Sorenson and that the donor3 

name not be known or recorded. Dul aller the couple 

separated, Mr. Sorcnson refused lo pay chlld support, 

clalmlng that he WR8 not the lather 01 the chlld. 

The court found that Sorenson was the legal lnlhcr, 

that "tho word 'father' Is conslrucd lo Include a 

husband who, unable to accompllsh his objcctlve uslng 

hls own semen, purchases semen from a donor and 

uses It to lnsemlnalc hIs wlfe lo achleve thls purpose." 

: But thal court dcclslon was inadc in the days wl~cn 

.. AID was the lrontler of hlgh.technology rcproductlon, 

a time when In vltro fertlllzatlon and ovum translcrs 

were bnly conceph. SIIII, just as the most progesslve 

gynecologists Invoke the agedld wlsdom, "lndlvlduals 

. 

b 

same presumption. 

don't gel pregnant, couples do," the law makes the 

The only Cnllfornla ~latute governlng hlgh4ech 

blrlhs, the Unlform Parent Act, sprcltles thnt tho lc~nl 

lather 01 an AID chlld ls not the sncrm donor. but the 

husband of the womnn who Is lns'emlnnled - so long 

as the husband consented to lhc lnsemlnatlon and It 

was supervised by a medlcal doctor. 

But what If the molhcr is a surrogate? Then, ncllhcr 

member 01 the couple who psld W,MW for her 

servlces - not even the man whosc sperm was used to 

Impregnate her - is related. And what If a physician Is 

not present durind the lnscmlnallon? ' 

: 'The current laws are rldlculo~~s," says Wllllam 

?landel, a Beverly ffllls attorney who spcclallzes in 

supplylnd surrogate mothen for lnlcrtlle couples. 

"Thcre are no laws In ths stale govcrnlng surrogates. I 

have to fell all of my cllcnts that we may all be party to 

crlmlnal,nnd civil vlolntlons. And all thcsc pcople want 

is .a baby!," , 

hit stands now, (~nllfornln lew say51 a man whose 

spcrm Is uscd lo lnsemlnate a surrogate must adopt his 

own child." Says Ifandel, "I think lhls Is obsurtll If it's 

legal lor a man to sell hls spcrm, thcn why isn't It lcgal 

for a wotnnn tosell hcr cggs, which Is what a surrogate 

Is dolng7" 

.".. .., ,,,.... ".... ....-..-..." .... - - ~ ., 

;a&&, cnlcrcd the flcjd of blgh.tecll reproduc. 

tlon. Ilc was on rclnlner as corporate col~nscl to an 

Inlcrllllly cxpcrt who had arranged n s~lrrognlc lor all 

lnlcrlllc couple. "llc wanted me to wrlle 11p a 

contract," says Itandel. "It took mc scvcn monlhs. 1 

bad to start from i;crntch." Ilnndcl dlsagrccs wlllr lhosc 

who look to ndopllon lnws as a model lor slntulcs 

govcrnlng hlgh.lcch blrlhs. 

"You can now rcproduce notwtthstnntllng who3 

uterus you use," he snys. "You can rcproduc t 

nolwlthstnnrllng whose spcrrn you use. You can 

rc roduce notwllhslnndlng whosc pclrl dish you Use. 

W 1 at we have to do now Is to look at ll~e lnlcnt 01 the 

coplc who collnhorale in rnnklng a chlld. Those who 

&Icndcd lo have the childsl~ould be dcemed by law 

lhe pnrcn(s!' 

In agreement with llandcl Is Dyron Chcll, professor 

01 law and elhlcs at UC Dnvls. Chcll Lq trying lo 

persuade Calllornla's Dcpartmcnl 01 Soclnl Scrvlccs to 

guard ngalnsl IawsulL; whlch mlghl arlsc from the lnck 

'of regulntlons on hlgh.tcch hlrlhs. 

1 ' 'The courts are polnllng to the lcglslature to glve 

them dlrectlon and the lcglslnluresays Ibe courts nccd 

to sort thls out. But how can the court8 make declslons 

whcre there arc no slatutest" 

Thc problem, as Chcll sees it. Is not that there ls not 

enough 01 a consllluency to support lcglslalors who 

Introduce bllls that attempt to govern the new 

, - . , . 

rcproducllve tcchnologlm. To the contrary, be says. 

But thnt thls conslltuency, by lh nature. Is not aboul to 

lobby and appear on TV talk shows. 

"These people don't want to make a spectacle of the 

means by whlcb they were able lo become parents," he 

says. "It's not that they ate ashamed, lt's just that thls 

Is very ersonal, and should remaln so." 

Thls & why the IOM Surrogate I'nrenl Dill mct an 

early death, says Chell. "It trled to do too much too 

soon." 

One couplc (who wlsh to rcmnln anonymous) 

concelvcd a chlld by uslng a f aid surrogate and are 

now in legal limbo. Calllornla aw rcqulres thc couple 

to go through adoptlon procccdlngs now thnt the chlld 

has been born. Unless and unlll lhcy do, the chlld's 

legal parents are the husband and the surrogate 

1 mother. .' 

! 

Because of the scrutlny by judgm of the monlcs 

exchangd bctween the hlrth mothers and the 

' adoptlng couples, the couple Is worrled thal the 

adoptlon urlll not be approved In court If the Judge 

. learns about the thousands 01 dollars paid the 

~ 

surrogate. 

j 11 the couple had'soclght a itepparent adoptlon 

, because the wonld.be adopllve father Is also the 

blologlcal lnlhcr 01 the chlld, lhen the exchange of 

monies would no! become An Issue. But the CoUplC 

would stlll have to alter the truth bccnl~sc of the lack 

of a sexual relntlonship betwcen the blologlcal pareats 

of the chlld. 

. "In other words:' says Chcll, "11 the blologlcnl 

lalt~er had taken the sorrogale to a motel lnstcad of 

uslng nrllllclnl lnscmlnallon ll~e whole lcgal rlgamnrole 

could hc ellmlnnted." 

Cllcll says thc same lnck of ndcqunte lnws is lo 

il~mc lor the tendency of sornc lnfertllc coclplm lo 

cloud the ldcnllly of the blologlcnl father or mothcr 

: whose sperm or egg was uscd in concclvlng the chlld. 

Ilc snys that If laws wcrc passed lo clearly cstalrllsl~ 

who the lcgal mother and lather arc at the Ilme the 

baby Is born, thls would not happen.

j chcll is partlculnrly conccrned'nbout the proposal 

, made last year by Asscntblymnn Steve Pence that 

1 spcrm 3onors he rcqctlrcd to he nnrned In a registry 

(Ilkc the nnc now kept for ndoptccs). Elevcn states: : ' "nre onry lhing r&Ily new Is tlrat wlth In vllrn 

alrcntly rcqulrc that spcrm hanks and physlclnns keep' fcrtlllzallon we have fo~tnd o way to trnllc lltr htrrrtart 

such records and that they he shared wlth a state ; egg and slrcrm ouL%ltlc the body. a "nalurnl" proccss 

rcl:lstry. 

our cvolutlttg forbears lost wltcn they left tl~clr 

"It's one lhlng for atloptees to fiearch." he says, "but 

nntrntlc hnbltat to llvc on land. 

... . 

the cltlltlrcn horn ns a rcsctlt of these new reproductive 

tccltnologles wouldn't cxlst l~ut for sperm hanks or In 

1 '"11 one docs not l~cllcve In crolutlon, one mlglrt 

, 

vltro fcrllllznllon!' 

. wont to consldcr In vltro fcrllllzallon an ~tnnntnrnl act. 

Snys O~cll, "We need laws so that people ~taltrg new 

rcproductlvc technologies are clcnr from the oulsct : 

but the ltrrlon of spcrnl and egg rcmalns the sattrc 

process wltelltcr It occurs lnsltlc or outsldc the hotly." 

Rruhcn Pannor says, "t\'c can't forgel the Itnport. 

.ahoul the rclallonslrlps they're entcrlng Into. I say we lance of htrnran rclntfonshlps and its irnpact on the 

sholtld a ply the same slnndards to fnfcrlllo couples 

evolt~tlonory procw. 

that we cr o to the rest of soclcty We don'l have a publlc 

pollcy preventlng murderers ald inplsls from havlng I Says Pnnnor. "We who have worked In ndoptlon for 

' 

, years have learned tlte error of our ways, the tttlslnkes 

as many chlldren as tlrcy want, yet pcoplc so often 

. that conrc from thlnkltr too sltttpllstlcnlly. 

, 

- 

ohjcct to hlgB.tvh hlrths!' 

... . - 

"\\'hat seem to be mng f ml soluttot~s today, we mlgltt 

'.'.,n 

, dread ton~orrou-. \Ve cnn't Ignore the longternr lnrpnct 

of the relatlonshlps we create on lntllvltlunl hurnnn 

or1 Andrcws, a mctllcal.lnw nttnrncy whose 

bclngs and on jicnerntlons. l'l~cre arc no casy 

rmcarch lcatl tn the publicallon of "New 

answers." 

Conceptions: A Consan~er's Galdc to !he Newest -. 

Infcrtlllty Trcatmcnts" (St. htnrtln's Prcss, $l.I.DSl, Isn't 

holdlng her breath whllc wnltln for rcgltlntlon of 

new.tech rcproducllon. Andrcws t cllcvcs there must 

: flrst he puhlle education, so that laws don't arlse from 

Ignorance and fear. There are alrcndy enough fear. 

' lllled pieces of lcglslatlon and court dcclslons, she says. 

cltlng countless courl cases (such as a 1W3 New York 

rullng that a chlld horn of artlflclnl lnsemlnatlon by 

donor was lllegltlmbtc~. In a more recent case In New 

Jcrncy, a sperm donor sued for and won vlsltatlon 

rlgltls to the chlld. 

The ptthllc's iesctlon to new solulions to tnfcrtlllty 

(can be gleaned from newspaper hcndllncs of the pas1 

few years: "Vatlcan: U.S. spcrm banks Nazl.llkc"; 

"Souls on Ice"; "And now, a spcrm bank for femlnlsls": 

"Soon a sperm' hank on every corner?" 

' 

Attitudes toward ndoptlon may be less slrldent, hut 

the dlsllnctlon flnds Its way lnto hcadllnes llke the one 

thal recently appeared In the Ilerald: "'Good kld' 

arresled in nlaylng of ndopllve mothci." 

Can we hope to catch up, lct alone keep up, wlth the 

fast.movlng devclopmen(3 helng made In the new 

reproductlve tcihnologlcs? 

Dr. Robert Francocur, professor of human sexuality 

and embryology a1 Falrlelgh Dlcklnson Unlverslty In 

Rutherford, N.J., says thal the public needs to 

rccognlze that hlgh.technology reproducllon could 

become the'only means of survivnl lo a population 

pla ucd by lncreaslng problems wlth fertlllly. 

ind hlologlst Dentley Glass, a professor emcrllus at 

the Slate Unlverslty of New York at Stony Brook and 

former presldcnt of the Amcrlcan Assoclntlon for the 

Advanccmenl of Sclence, goes evcn further, lnslsllng 

that "our only senslble clvll defense agnlnst nuclear 

war ir lo bulld lahs underground that arc self. 

conlalned and preserve the reproductlve cells of all 

the plonls and anlmals necessary to reeslabllsh llle 

. . 

on 

~'thls planet." 

I 

Class docs' not anywho would mnn thls suhterra. 

nean ark and cnglncer the rcsurrectlon. of llfc on 

earth. 

Kenneth J. Ryan, M.D.. and professor and ch6trman 

at llarvard hledlcal School's dc~nrtmcnt of obstelrlcs 

and gynecology, contends thnt In order to wrcstle wllh 

@me of the hlg questions posed by hlgh-iech 

reproducllon, soclely must flrst "scpnrate the ethlcs 

and laws on scxunllty and marrlagc from an cvalttatlon 

of the technical means of conccptlon and tho human 

,ends deslrcd In crcrtlt~g and rcnrlng a chlld." . . 

Despltc the tendency of some of hls peers to look . "I havo to toll my cllonts that wo moy 011 bo party lo 

,lor new ways of understnndlng how soclcty wlll he 6 

crlmlnal and clvll vlolatlons," says Wllllom Handol, an 

affected by new rcproductlve technology, Rynp says, 

ottornoy spocla0zlng In supplying surrogoto mothors. 

,"The n~ornl and lcgnl qucstlons tltnt emerge as a result 

,of hlgh.tcch blrtlts arc not new. The problctris wllh 

new concepllons nrc varlntlons on a tltcmc about love, 

scx, mnrrlarc and nroficny that are us 0111 as Ccncsls.

The ' 

.. . 

baby 

business 

trohi ndoptio?~ brLkers to s)et.l)? bnrzks, , 

childless 

. . . corcples crecrte boo~nittg mnt-ket 

- . . 

. ;' . Tho family lroo In lha tB8Oa Is . Inn sorlos on how tho odopllon-. 

complox. And II promlsos lo bocome 

inoro$o):Ono In six Amorlcan 

coup lo^^ I$ lnlorlllo and adopllon Is 

'no longor tho solo solullon. 

Todav now.aoo -- blrth 

- 

joch?d!dolos ouch oa artlllclal 

lnsomlnallon. ovum translor and 

6lhor modlcal procoduros hovo 

loinod tho more lradlllonal moons ol 

muking a lamlly. . 

I 

In IHls; the second ol throo ports 

... . 

by ~rlcla'~rane 

herald . slan writer 

*- - *. .. 

Ith i crumpled, mascaraetalned 

Kleenex. 

Vlcky wlpes tears 

from porcelain cheeks. 

. $he wears leans and a blouse wlth 

ted.md.white 

horizontal strl cs 

iine of those maternity fashk 

lhat make pregnant women look 

Jlke .circus performers. 

, . Across from Vlcky slt Karen and 

Paul. both 37. a marrled couale 

from Orange county who wanito 

adopt Vlcky's unborn cblld. Paul 

. m.... 

rolorm movomonl Is ollocllng now 

blrlh lochnologlos. tho tlorald takas 

a look al Tho Bnby Buslnosa. 

Adopllon ogonclos oro facgd with 

somo florco com~otlllon from 

lndopendonl boby brokors. And both 

find lhomaolvos compollng lor 

cllonls wllh aporm banks, whlch are 

prollferoting. 

Where do Inlortilo cou~loa turn 

lor hslp? 

stralehtcns his vest as bls wlfe 

rcph'iases the tough quesllon she 

has lust put to the redheaded. 

expeftant mother.. 

There would bo many moment8 

of awkward sllence that aflernoon 

In the law offlce of Durand Cmk, a 

I#ollywood attorney whose pracllce 

consists entlrely and exclusively of 

arranging adoptions. All partlea 

know each other only by flrst 

names. 

"Are you glvlng the haby up 

because you aren't marrlcdl" In. 

Baby buslnesalC.8, Col. 1 

a Section ClPage 1 - 

! Loa Anpolos Herald Examlnor 

Monday 

Fobruary27, 1984

Anil 

nc infrrtllc womnn Is now consldcrlng nn 

doptlon agenclcs clclcncl thcmsclvcs nrtd 

ovum transfer t~ccnusc 6\10 1s beel\ rrtd~lt. 

launch lhclr own lrnrrngc of nssn~~lts on the 

tcred to tltc prrva3lve otrcnncss of ndopllon. 

Indrpcntlents. Ttlcy nccusc 1l1c lndt!llclttlcnt , Sllc snys, "My husband nnd I hcnrd onc too rlrntly 

haby hrokera of opportunls~n n~tcl of no1 hclng cnrcftrl 

horror slorlcs. We rt!nllzrd that we not only wnnl 10 

cnnugh In scrcenlng p m rrllvc ntIoptIvc COII~ICS. nrcttl n chlld, t1ut to ttn\rc. thc rxlrcrlcllrc of filclllg 

Thcy cotnplnln lhal thry're gnmslrtrn by govcrnrncnl hrlh lo a child that Is our own, or at lcnsl pnrlly nor 

rcgulatlons, whlch lln~ll thc nti~otrnl o f n1011ry tltcy can 

own. I wnlll to hnvc n clitltl that nol)otly cnrl tnkr nuny. 

rrcclvc for adoptcd chllrlren nnd whlch rcsttlct thclr 

Soclcly laces a hlghcr value on hlootl rclnllonslti(ls." 

nbllily lo place lnfnnts dlrcctl from lrospllals (which 

. ' 

I Dtrt I r lcre arc tltosc who rautlon tltnt rcprod~~ctlnn 

most ado tlvc couplcs prclcrl 

tcclt~lfllogy Is fmuflttl wllh at irnst as many Issues ns 

Slstcr !crllllc Prtts. exccutlvc tllrcctor o( the 1.0s 

ado ltlon, Issues that Itnvc only bcgun to 11c dlscrtssctl. 

Angelrs Iloly Fnmlly ~rrvlcr.q Cnltrlcrllng nl~d Atlop 

I . Anj . . ~III! . .- ttmc .. . - is .- 

rtnc lor sltch cllscosston: 11) 10.1.1 lllc 

tlon, snys "Slate laws rrqltlrc II~ to lry to plncc Inlnl~ls , A~nrrlcan ~ertltiijt socicrg wns founded by 100 

wllh cottplrs of thc same raclnl bnckaro~tntl." hllr snvs. 

~nr~~~t~crs from across the aatlon. Tonay tt~crc arc ovrr 

"nntl our ngency rnnkrs n practlcc of rcs~ctlttg tile 

8,000 tnrttillcrs, all pltyslclans nnd fictcnllsls wlto 

rcllglous wtshcs of Iltc niotl~cr. \\'I! liavc nlwnys 

spcclntlzc In hunlan rcproducllon. 

lrrotcclctl the rlnhts of lhc hlrlh n~oll~cr, l'hnl's onc nl 

And there arc no rrgulallons cstatlllsl~lnfi or 

ilrc mnny bcncilts of placlng a child lor adoptlon 

rcqulrlng standards for sprrm bnnks or any of Ihc 

through an agency." . 

' Iilglt.tcch rcprottuctlvc lnduslrlcs. Says Cfllllornla 

Dtlt lloly Fan~lly flnds that 11 11nS prrrlo~ts fcw 

hseml~lyman Stcvc I'cncc, "If lhc corncr SavOn 

InfnnL~ avnllablc lor adoptlon. "We have nt least n I@ 

found lllol It had somc cxtra room In Its frcczcrs, it 

lo-one ratlo hclwccn appllmnl collplcr nntl ntloplnt>lc 

could o lcn a spernl bank." 

infants." nnrs Slrtcr Dcrtlllc. llolv Famllv has hccn 

Dr. 

prrcllcing open adopllon - j ohn'fctrlcclnnl, dlrcctor of thc dlvlslon of 

nllowlng tlrc birth motltcr 

htnod and hlootl nroducts at the FDA, says thnl as far 

~~~ ~- 

to mcct and approve of thc prospcctlvc ndnptlvc 

as the federal go~~rnmenl Is concrrnd, Peace Is rlght. 

couptc - for almost two tram. Thc local Jcwlsh 

"Thcre wcrc dlscusslons about thc spcrm banks 

adojltlon agency, Vlsla Del lrlnr Chlld Carc Servlcc, also 

several ycars ago wlthln the FDA and for n varlely of 

i lotlnw thIs practlcc. 

' rensons we ~ oaway l from It and never gnve It serlous 

Rcuhen Fannor. dlrcctor oL roclal work and 

conslderallon agaln." 

research for Vhta Dcl Mar, says, "in the past we took a 

Jcannc Mowc. a staff member of the Amcrlcan 

I dlmpllstlc approach to adoptlon. We found oul that It 

I Soclely of Tlssue Bnnks, an organizallon bnscd In 

bn'i so slm-~te!' 

Arlington, Va. pays lltat her group Is warklng on 

Pannor says open ndopllon Is ntnndard for Vlsta Del ' guldcllncs and standards for sperm bnnks. 

Mar. But he also conccdcs he ollcn flnds Itlmsclf ! "Nobody knows how mnny sperm hunks thcrc are 

counseling prospective adopltve couplcs on the vlrlucs ; across thc country." says Mowc. "Any doctor's offlce 

of lhls opcnnm. 

can bank and even frccze sperm. It doesn't take much 

'There ha 

lendcncy among tho couplcs to want to 

: room. And 1 don't know of any slate that rcgulalcs 

revert to the 'good old days' of cpnfldcntlal and 

spcrm banks." 

anonymous adopllons," he sayq. "I have to tell thcm 

Amcrlcan Fcrtlllty Soclely spokcspcrson. Joycc 

lhls just isn't rcallstlc. 1 tell lhcm nlt they have to do to 

Zellz, says her group wltl refer lntcrcstcd lndlvldunls 

be convlnced Is to go to tho nearest bookstore and 

' urchqx 4 hook by Jane Askin cnllcd 'Search,' an 

rbstrucllon maniml on bow to llnd your blrt11 narents." 

But Pannor mlghl also not see iltose coupfcs agnln. 

-. 

. .; . : 

, . 

, .. '. . 

Thcy may be less cnslly convlnccd of the vlrlue of opcn 

adonlton Iftan he .- ncrretvps~ 

' .-.--.-. 

domnct~t~on for adonlable infants. . csncclallv ,--. non. 

mlnorlfi Infants, Is flircc, and It apprars that in 

Calllornln thc lawscrs are wlnnlnc. From Julv 1.1881. 

through July 1, iD[12, there wrre 3.832 nori.rc~nt~vd 

adoptlons In Calltornla. More than half were lntlet)cntl. 

en1 adopllons. 

Sharrcll Dlakcley, chtcl of tlte adoptlo~~s l)rnncl~ of 

Ihc slatc Dcparlrncnl of Public Soclal Scrvlces, says 

"We have huge backlogs of couplcs anxlous to nclopt 

hablrs end that's why co~lplcs go tq lnwyers. l'l~c 

agcnclrc !lrst don't hnvc any Infants onv more. Tltc old 

n~yths about agrnclcs Is k&pl~tg younb wontrn nuny. 

And many do lndcpcndrnt ndol~llons hcca~~sc lhcy run 

havc somc m~llral cmls covrrcd. It n1nkr.i scnsc." 

Four slnlcs hnvc pnssrd laws proltll~l~lng tntlrpfntl. 

cnl adoptlon. Callfornla h not among them. Accortllng 

to Dlll Plcrcc, rcsldcnl of tho Natlonal Comn~lltcc for 

Adopllon in \ \ ashlngton, D.c., laCnllfornln I C ~ ~ S 

nnllon In prlvnlc adoptlon bccausc there Is a whole 

group of smnrl Inwycrs nut lherc tnklng ndvantagc of 

thc confuslon tlrnt's brscl the ngenclcs." 

Plcrcc, whose orgnnlznllnn conslsls of lilormon 

adoptlon agcnelcs and other rcllglo~ts nncl cof~scruntlvc 

groups, says that the lndcpcndcnts ltnvc mused "a nind 

scrnnthlc to cnlch up" by most ngcnclcs. 

"Tltc lnwycrs sny, tltcy practlcc open ndoptlon and 

lhc ngenclcs try lo cofnpclc, lo hc j~lfllos progrcsslvc," 

ha says. "Dul the ngcnclcs cnlt't ronlprtc with tllclr 

n~nrketlng. Ant1 the trlrlh Is Iltcy ftltc l ~~tle~r~rde~~ts~ 

do 

wltntever It tnkn to n~nkc atloptln~~s. Anrl yo11 crln hrt 

lhcy ollcr cor~lltlcntlnllly to co~rplrs \tho l~tslst on 11." 

~IIC 

to spcrrn banks and lnlerllllty speclallsll, but It makes 

no rccornmendatlons. 

. . . . 

1 

"We isstrc a dlsclnlmcr that wc don't rccnnt~nrnd 

\one over another," slre snys. And wllh good rcason. 

In 1075 cnlreprcncur Rohert Qulnlan, 101111tlcr of 3 

Ssn Francisco spcrm hank callcd ltlc Chartired 

lntcrnntlonal Cryobank, cncountcred tccttrtlcal cllflj. 

cultles and monumcntnl legal problems. Ilavlng sclzkd 

upon the growlng popularity of vnsrclomlcs ns; a 

mcnns of birth control, Qlrlnlan opened up, a spccm 

'hank as a scrvlce to nten contcn~plallng lh+c 

'surgerl~s. nrc sprrm would bc frozen ant1 stored i ~s 

ecnctlc Insurance In cnsc the men declded later bn lo 

Tathcr children. Dut Qtrlnlnn camc to work one dny l o 

find thal hc was out of lhr spcrrn.banklnl! hustnms. Ilc 

latcr cxplalncd In court .that thcrc .hod hccn a 

meltdown In hls stnragc tanks because thcy had becn 

lipended hy somc unknown sabotcur. In somc, casrB 

thcrc rrnlelncd the posslt~tlity of rcvcrslng tltr 

vaseclomlcs, hut nlost cllcnll wcrc left high ant1 dry. 

Onc of Qltlnlan's cllcnls hnd subsequently undergone p 

f. 

sex chan c opcratlon. 

Accor lng lo Arne Wcrchlk, tl~c Son Franclsrh 

rnetllcnl n~nlpncllcc lewyrr uhn lltljiatcd the casc on 

,hclrnlf of rolnc 30 tncn, Qulnlan lost the casc. Irul thc 

'stcrllo cllcnls wcrc awsrdcd only a few ttlousan(l 

dollars each. 

1 "Thc last thing I hcard of Qulnlan," Wrrchlk snyi, 

- .~ . . 

: "whs lhal he was ellhcr sclllnn or repnlrlnl! Is~~cwrlV 

crs." 

Altho~rt:h no one knows for surc. I~tdlcntlons orb 

tttat tho n~tr~tbcrs of spcrnl hanks arc lncrrnslng nnfl 

t1l.111 thcy arc hccnntln~ morc spcclnllzci!. ~~ 

(:nlIlornln lcntls tltc nallon In the flcld, clnlt~illlg both 

thc F~IIIIIIISI Sprrnl nnnk In thc nay Artla a1111 lb!! 

Nohcl Prize bank in the rot~tlwrn part of the stntr. In 

ntltllllnrr to ofttSrlnji lllc spcrnl of Nollrl IVrl7r ulnneri. 

tlrc Nollrl bank Is now sc!Illrtg grtlctlc i~tatrrl;~l lr?l!t 

top ntl~lctcs.

, . 

he sale of genetlk 'pctllgrcei lroublcs. h(l 

Andrews, nn atlnrncy, who tcnchcs n~cdlcal 1*w 

at the Unlvcrslty of Chlcago Crnduntu Schwl 01 

Business. "I hcnrd an account from one sperm bank 01 

P coc~ple that wanled n donor who plnyed the cello.:' 

' she says. "They dlrln't just wnnl a ml~nlclnn, It had 

l 

a cclloplayer. What If the kld grows up wllh do 

mclslcnl ablllly or lnlermtl What will happcn lo h!l$:' 

, Andrews has jllst hn~l ~ut~llsl~ed a prnvocnllv.n bncl 

: co~nprcl~cnslvc consumers gcrlde to hlgh.tcch repro 

d~lcllun cnllcd "New Conccptlnns: A Consclmer's Gltldo 

to 'the Newest Infrrtlllty Treatments," ($14.05,.E\. 

hlnrtln's Prmc). The hook urgcs lnferllle couplqsYo 

cxnlorc solullons to lnfertlllty and thcn Invcstlj!dtelhb 

coisquences of such possihlc solullonn as .in:i$v 

lcrtllltntlon, nrtlllclal lnscmlnntlon and surrogate 

motherhood. %-. .:.. 

"We may now aec egg b:;nka spr~ng~nk c~p aloifi' 

wltb fipcrm banks," she says. 'The lnrgcst sperm hank 

' In the country wlll soon malntnln frozen eg~a 

cggs.q 

Ice. What's lo keep a couple lron~ deslgrllng n blucprlht 

for a baby? What wlll lhls mean lor the chlldY':f> 

Andrews llkens lnfcrtllc counles to dcsner& 

cancer patlcnts who belleve they've found a cuie and 

aren't skeptical enough of It. She cautlonn inferlllo~ 

couplca to ask sperm banks about screcnlng prow. 

dures, to lnqulre ss to how many tlmw a glvrn donor's, 

sperm wlll be used. And sheinnlslc thnt couplcsshould. 

know beforehand whelhcr and uhnt they are going to: 

tell the chlld. llow wlll they feel about lhclr declslon In 

10 yearn? And what happins when the baby becomesv 

an lndlvldual, an adult? . ,,. 

"I am seelng more and more couples rocraltlng: 

'lhelr own donor#," she says. "and 1 can't say rs I blnme 

them. They are beglnnlng to dlstrust doctors and wllh. 

good reazon. An awful lot or people in the buslnem are, 

motlvrted by one ffilng and one lblng alone: profit.:: 

... . :- 

rshlngton. D.C. clly councllmari' Johq 'Ray, 

bas Introduced a bill that would remove the. 

roflt mottve as a factor In sperm banklng.:lI 

become local law, donors, wlll no lon#ep 

receive money for lhelr sperm.: . . . ...... 

Ray is now drafllng~Icglslatlon~tbrt would control 

oroflt.maklna by surroaate mothers as well. Hls blll 

proposes thai .iurrogat& not be allowed paymenl for. 

more (ban tbe actual costs Incurred ma rnult 01 the 

ilso concerned about opportunlsm In hlgh.lqh 

re roductlon is Alexander Capron, a prolcssor of law 

el 1 lcs and publlc policy at Georgetown Unlvcrslty Law 

Center and former exccutlve dlrector of the M.W 

defunct Presldenlk Commlsslon lor the study .of 

Elhlcal Problems In Medlclne and Blomcdlcal and 

Behrvloral Research. Says Capron, 'The doctors worr). 

.ah0111 lhelr Intercsla and arents arc concerned pbou! 

thelr needs, but what oug f t to be the prlmary conse~n. 

Is what the chlldren need." . ,. ,,. 

Capron contends that tho law ought to make;l) 

posslble to trace blologlcal relatlonshlps In elther 

Irectlon. "lrnnglne If the lather flnds oul that ho hsp 

I 4 untlngton's dlsense," he say:. 'There ought to be 

some way to lot the chlld know. to brlnn - the chlld's. 

~~ 

:parentngi! Into focua. 

*'Because of the lack of cleaieut law& oh' .$h&tkt 

legal parents are to chlldren born of now technologlmi 

lheres an lntentlonal muddylng of blologlcnl pnren. 

tage. Thls does a dhervlce to the chlldrcn, the 

chlldren got Ignored In all of thls." , -..-a?., 

And to couples who use blrth tech;lolo~lcs m lhy 

than ado tlon out of a fear of dlscloslng the chll@c 

blologlca f parentage, he mys, they "should stop pn+ 

. tlllnk It over. AID chlldren arc already scnrchlng far' 

lhelr natural fathers," he says. "And there's no reason. 

for ua to thlnk that cblldren born through lheseolhet 

meow won't feel the same longlng!'., .*. 4' 

. , ! 

. . . . .: ,,r: 

1 . . 

Tomorrow: Whnl happens whcn a clprrm donor baby urav~ 

apt Whnt arc the elhlcnl nnd IcgaI questions th:: nrlse . n3 . 8 , 

result of blgh.lech blrlhr? , , 

' 

I : ;.. 

,'. 

. 

. . 

babies. YOU have lo ao orlvate." aava lawver Oavld 

Lervltl; an adopUon broker.

hi letter rend: "%JW baby is dead!' 

. ' 

from page one j 

- 

' Davis spent the next two years of her 

,I,, , life mourntnn her Ims. despite her 

"/YrP aunt's persisbt belief kt. the baby 

':::I remained undaunted and hted she was allve and bad deceived 

'i wantedtonise hwchildonberown. . I,., ...... 

On Dee. 7, lSZ?, Alice gave birth. Although Davis had no reason to thLnk 

Mother and child were immediately the nun would havc lled to her, her 

se rated, and Alice says sbc wasn't aunt's conviction haunted ha 

for years. 

to P" dshe'd borne a son. 

In lm, she decided it was time to put 

"This was customary, I was told. I an end to any doublrr about the chiid's 

was a timid soul and didn't dare death. She wrote tbe Ohio Division of 

question the custom." she said "I had 

no reason not to belleve them" . Vltal Statistics requesting a copy of the 

child's . death certificate. ....... 

,' Having signed no papers and been "I received a letter stating they had 

..assured her child would be eJred for searched through their Nes twice and 

until she could return. Alin left the could not only not find a record of 

home in search of living - maemenls - death, they could fiad no record of a 

for her and her baby. 

child by the name of Davis being born," 

"I mid in advance for a year's room she said. 

and board, and suppose& the bab Her aunt's belief be n talnke on new 

could stay there for a year," sbe saidI rneaninc. and Davis tfen knew she had 

When she left the home in January 1523, to findai answer. 

she was unaware that on Dec. I?, just Thus began her seven-year search; a 

five &Y-S after birth. hw child had been search that found many doors locked 

given ub for adontion. 

and 'many roads dosed, but which 

finally led her to Lansing. 

Meahwhile,. an aunt living in Aided in her elforts by Chosen 

' Alabama persunded Davis to nkieve Children, a Dayton, Ohio organization 

her child and come live wilh her. that helps adopted persons find their 

. ., Excited by the offer. Davis quickly bioloeical oarents. Davis wrote 

... wmte Sisterhlnrcellineind told tier she h&&ds~ol ieltcrs and made frequent 

'; ,.,.:. was on her way to rednim the baby and visits to Ohio .................. fmm her Florida home. 

i 9::. 

.: ..... 

..I 

begin We as a family. Finally, she received a letter from 

i:. 

,. , 

According to Davis, she received an Sister Rose Martin Morand. the current 

., ; . . almost immediate reply - a reply that administrator of the unwed mother's 

... 

. . changed the next GZ years of herirfe. home. 

The letter stated that a child born ta 

AUce Davis had been adopted on Dec 

Y 19P. 

Sister Mmd wrote "As of D s 16, 

la, yaw: soa was all- ARer that 

date. we have no records of any kind I 

can offer m explanation why this 

bppened, and canon1 a logize." 

For the Iint time, sic e ew her baby 

had been a boy. But the letter didn't 

give any information on who'd ado ted 

the child or dues which would bdp P ead 

hertohim. 

"All I wanted was to fid my son and 

tell him that I didn't abandon him," she 

said 

Davis turned to the Ohio courts in an 

attempt to et adoption records ope~led 

so she co uf d get the information she 

needed. The courts refused. 

For four years, she battled witb 

attorneys and with the St. Jmeph 

Home, but got nowhere. 

Through the efforts of friends, Davis 

found a search consultant who was 

havin surprising success finding biologicn 

B paren& of adopted 

J O ~eiss reviewed &""" w cask and 

agreed toattempt to find hersom 

Armed only with the sketchy b 

formation Davis su plied, and faced 

with legally clme records, Wdss 

, laced a long-distance phone call to 

!tenringer in tansing wilhin just 12 

hours. 

\Veiss used pubUc records, a hunch 

and luck to fiml Stenzinger, whose 

8 

adoptive parentr have both dled, ac.: 1 

verify he was Davis'son. 

He knew his call was about to chan:, - 

r stranger's Me. 

Cknrs Stenzinger, of 17141 Bwnhan- 

' 

Avc, was drawn away f. in the even 

hg news Feb. 15 by his ringing telc 

pbone, unaware what the next few 

minutes were to bring. 

"&. Stenzinger, we both havc some 

thing in common." said the volce on thc 

o k end of the telephone he. "We art. 

both adopted ..." 

Weiss explained the reason lor his 

call, supplying enough lack to pmve L: 

was sincere. 

"I didn't know what to say," Stem , 

inger recalled. "I was in emotional 

. 

shock." 

TWO days later, Stenzinger receive: 

documents that vcrined the amazin~ 

story Weiss had relayed. 

He stared at the telephone numbrr 

Weiss hnd provided, torn between ali. 

ing and forgetting the whole thing. 

.FYiy, hedialed his mother's number. 

"Hello, Mrs. Davis," said Stenringer. 

'This is yourson calling." 

The tense fit few minutes creatcz 

by years oI sepantlon quickly mdtn. 

into a mother and son sharing eac;: 

other's thoughts as if they had know:: 

each other aU their lives. 

A h . Davis hopes to travel to bnsir- 1 

later Ulis year when the weather ce'. I 

a IitUe wnrmer - to see her son for-Uv 

rit time. 

I 

I 

I 

j

!;?,.: : .. 

,.S,,{', : 

-.: . 

John Weiss was able todo in l2 hours long, the 25-year-old public accountant "Ha moo ing around left a paper Davishehadlocatedhcrson. 

what others had spent seven yeam. was asked to give seminars throughout trail, that I to an index, and on this Alhugh the search busincss hc 

hying to do. 

Ohio. 

index written very small in ncil was been financially and e xotionally re 

Weiss, a search consultant from But he SM)II found m o s t ~ were y thenameSlen~inger,@~hesaid warding for Weiss, he said he wisher. 

Cincinnati who reunited Clarus Stenz- unable to duplicate his s and he Weisi had an instant hunch U~is name adoption records were mwe accessible. 

inger with his mother, told nK Times: started accepting offers to help them wasone heshould pursue. Based In Cincinnati, Search Comui 

"Luck played an important part in this fInd their missing links. Webs even- Continuing his search through other Lank accepts clients from all over k: 

successful search." tuaUy gave up his accounting practice public records, he found a Stenzinger United States, Canada and Eump 

President of Search Consultants Inc.. to pursue a ureer in searching - a who had died 10 years ago. On tbe Fees depend upon the difficulty and thc 

Weiss got into the unusual line of work career he describes as "the love of my certificate, Clarus Stenzinger was listed mountaftravelrequired 

from earlier efforts at tracking b life." 

as theinformant. 

biological mother. He was ded by What helped him in the Lansing case Weiss wouldn't disclose other records ~eiss' said that while fees for 2 

ado tive parents. was the work of others. he used to verify Stenzinger was the typical search are less Lhan $3,W. 

"[was obsessed to lid her," he said. IIad it not been for Stenzinger's wile, right person. He is afraid such a/ omehavegoneas highas$lO,OW. 

"I can't explain why, and I eventually Vuginia, being anxious about locating a disclmure would eventually find @ -7 Search Consultants makes no pro 

did three years later." 

birth certificate for the day her husband courts blocking these records fmm mises, but Weiss reviews each ca: 

Hearing of his success. others con. would Ne for Social Security, Weiss beingused. before accepting a cllent'He said S. 

tacled him for advice on how they also said, his search might have taken much But 12 hours after the cases he accepts arc 

could accomplish their god. Before longer. 

..... . 

Weiss was on the phone 

>' 

* . . 

-1. 

... ,..... '. 

. .. . 

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.. , .:. . .,., , , ., , . . . 

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- - 

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.. 

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'4 

. ...

' 

- WfrmVlllr 

. . 

Mofher finds- son 

' 

B y ~ h 0 * ~ 

nity Home, had @ven the brby awry for odoptlon whlle 

A former Morrlne w o w whose m was ulrm from 

:her at blrth h~ found him lner 61 yun. 

: Alter yun of futile searching for Information about the 

mn who wu born to her In 1922 at the OM St Jorph Idmt 

Asylum in Unclnnrtl. the w o w - now 80 md Uvlng In 

,St.Petenburg. Fla. - d d a prol&odre8earcher twtcd 

her son la Lanslng, Hlch., in a matter of hours. 

: She learned last month lhat her son Is Clarus "DRL" 

Stendnger, a 61.yeu-old M n g truck driver. "I've ,M 

been 1lorUng on alr," spld the woman, who asked to be 

ldentlfled only u Allce Davis. 

Davis war the mme she mmed when sbc entld the 

iuylum as a pregnant, unmarried 19.ycsr-old She sdd she 

was not pilowed ta see the baby she delivered Dcc, 7 of that 

year and later war tuld the baby had died. 

More than 50 yws parsed before she learned that a nun 

In the WlUm, now known ar St Joseph Infant and Nater- 

Davis wan rtlll a padent that 

' 

She began a search that yielded oals the fm that her 

mn had been adopted within days. The Dayton Ddly News 

reported her search April 5. l981, when the Ohlo General 

Auembly war conslderlng a billthat would have opened 

adoption mrda to her and other blrth puenu. The blll 

never kame law. 

Stenrlnger on Monday nld It wu a su~risc to learn 

that hls natural mother wu still alive. Both of hls ndoptlve 

parents, John and Ctara Stenringer. dl& years ago. 

Stenzinger sold he leuncd about the adoption ycan ago 

when he needed information from hlr blrth certlflcate lor 

mllluuy records. 

Davis sdd her son's binh ctrtlflcate conflrmcd her in- 

1ormaUin bcfnuse It bean the mrrect drte and locatlon and 

identlli~c her ar AUce Davis. 

Imbcrlly. Stendngcr grew up not far away from 

Where Davis wu living. Davis Uved in CIndnnaU and law 

- after 67 years 

erJine before movlna to Florid.. Stendnger sald he grew groups and deddsd m investigate. When she wmte to SL 

up in Dunlap. Ohlo. between Clndnnati and Hamllton. Joseph. the borne's Usuator dun into old records and 

Davis later muried and now has two daughten and fouid that a chlld born to AUce ~ivis had been adopted 

uorher ran, all of whom Uve In Ronda. twlce -once Dec. 11 1921, md agJn Dec. I6 alter he hd 

la the 1981 story, Davls add she ww looking for her been returned far &an ruaons. 

a n beuuse "I jw want that bay to know 1 dld not wlil. But adoptlon mmb in Ohio are closed to blnh parenu. 

bgly give him up." 

Davis could learn no 8se about her son. 

Davis sald she ldt her wrthern Kentucky home In the Finally, otbcr him parents referred her to Clnclnnatl 

fall of 1922 Io finlrb bcr p m c y In the asylum to keep researcher John WdnShe uld he war an adopted chlld and 

her father from learnlnp that she her mother searches for adoprimhlomtlon lor a fee. u~nlch wu $250 

had dlcd a few months culler. 

In her me. Weln mold nor be reached for comment. 

She left the rsylum In Jlauuy 1923 with the under- She said Weisr kgan mscarch for her on Feb. 15, and 

mdlng that she would be able to return for her baby when ldentlfled Stenzinger the wmt day. She slld she asked 

sbc was able to provide for him. she ad. She patd the a~y- Welss to call hlm beam "I wrr In shocn." 

hrm w care for the baby for a year, she added. Stenzinger ul%d Davis the following Sunday. "He 

But when an aunt in Alabama offered to let her and her called me 'Mom' theud srld we're a family . . . I feel like 

baby Uve there, Davis nid, the asylum wmte that 'The baby It's added 10 yun 

to-llfe." she %Id. 

hd dled." 

They d d thy bop to meel soon but have not yet set a 

fiftyelght yeus lam, she dlacovered adop(ees0 search' date. 

4

READERS DICUT 

May 

control, not, if droppin out of scl~ool, and 

nt with Ion term wcl arc dependency. 

.j- P 

contra- .- waw't much of a student anyway, 

so I didn't mind dropping 

r rcrrc'l 

,inda out," admits Mary Eller~, turning 

YWCA tlic pages' of her 

eve that 011rsccs a 

: fast or wire hnvc 

who get di~rinp, a monlrnt at the Junior 

I'rom-but the hridc looks a littlc 

rrc cin- chi~tlliy (Mary Ellcn was fivc 

?sistcnt- rn~~ntl~s prcgnant at thc tin~c) ancl 

I mc she Kcvin, tlic I .ycar-old grooln, docs 

hccause no1 teem to k having a pod timc. 

*em hcr- Kevin dropped out of the t ~ th 

rse who grade and wcnt looking for work. 

."Wlicn A joh as a lrackcr in a n~pcrmarkct 

t tw of- was all hr could find, but it was not 

Is of the cnougl~ tosuppnrt a Llmily ofrhrcc. 

.ids have hlary Ellen and Kcvin tlro\*c to 

hat thcy Arizona whcrc, tliey'd hcard, there 

i lead tn was cnou h work for cvcryhody. 

"Everyho s' y who hat! some skills," 

~ct oflifc sqys Mary Ellen rucfttlly. A year 

hnvc to ljtcr, shc and l~cr son rcturncd to 

lffcct the her honictown. Kevin had enlisted 

do ahout in ilic Army. Their mnrringr ended 

.cn-agcrs ill divorce. In fact, nearly half 

imarricd nf all tccn-agc marriages cnd in 

~vc hirths divorcc. 

And 96 Lirfing ualonc. Sl~nritn, rH ycars 

:ivc birth olJ, livcs on wclfare in a tcncmcnt 

tr babics: wit11 her two children. Likc so 

many young motl~crs without rcstatistics 

sources and a support systcrri, Slta- 

~crn-agc rita is virtually confined to tlic 

hc consc- nci~hlmrhwd and hcr two-room 

vcnturcs. a inrtmcnt. Without adequate, rclitgc 

usuol- aldc rhild rare, rhcrr is littlc chancr 

thc tccn- that slic will romplctc llifili rcl~wl 

l i t I or sccurc pni~iful cmlrlriytnent. 

tlicn tllnn A rcccnt report on tcco.ajic 

,983 1lrI1Eh: CIflLOREN HE.4R CHILDREN 

mothers by thc Chiltl Wclfarc tomorrow. Hut if I don't jump up 

League of Amcrica shows that nl- and do .what my rnotlicr wartts 

though five ou~ of six tccn-age ri ht anvw,rlrr'll wash tl~cbzl~yand 

motIiers want to rcturn to SCI~IJI or I' 6 hcar about it Iatcr." 

gct a joI~,nearlyhalldonot harc the Adoprion. In the latc 1960s more 

necessary child-care arrangements. than Ro pcrccnt of white, uomar- 

Living in a rcridcrttiul firility. ricd tccn motl~crs placed their ba- 

Enid rnovcd into Lincoln House, a bicr; totla)., only 4 percent ct~oosc 

rcsidcntial facility, lwforc her son, adoption. Family slxcialists arc 

Lance, was born. "When I canic ~uzzled alxlut this clian~c. I3ut it is 

hcrc, I was arncss,"~he admits. "I'd bclirvcd to bc tlic rcsull or scvcral 

lost cvcrgthin I cared ahout-my factors, includin the growtlt of 

family, my P ricnds, my job, my , sing~c-~~rcntfani~ics,tl~caccc~wnce 

home. 

by thc middle class of values that 

"I Iearncda lot from living hcrc. favor kccping the childrrn and, 

I miss my fretdom," she says of , ahvc all, thc opinions of fricnds. 

tccn-age motherhood, "but thc "We scc it Iiappcn frc uently," 

pre nanc has hclpcd mc sct sornc says Jane Dosc,dircctoroft 9 IC I1rcp 

soafs." T ~ C day-care run wnchcs naacy Counseling Program at tlk 

over lace while Enid attends bar- Children's Homc Socicty of hlinbcr 

school to gain tlic training dint ncsota. "A girl will n~akc an adupwill 

allow her to care lor hcrsclf tivc plan, and thcn other girls will 

and thc son rhc has clioseri to raise. ct on her, and the ncxt tliing we 

Lit,i#g uith armtr. The Gutc- {car is that shci parcntit~g hcr 

macher study f ound that of tl~osc haby. Tlicre is little toltrancc for 

unwed mothcrs who lived with thc girl who chooses adoption." 

parents or relatives, 87 pcrccnt rc- "It was very hard to make a plan 

maincd in xhwl following child- to plare my baby and stick with it," 

birth, coin arcd with 76 pcrccnt of declares Della. "All tlic prcssurcs 

thosr who i' ivcd alone-and61 pcr- on mr wcrc in favor ofkeeping my 

cent graduated from high scllool, child. At scliwl anotlicr girl and I 

compared with 47 percent oftliosc wcrc tlic only two planning adop. 

who lived alonc. Hut thc dilliculty tion. We bccame outcasts." 

with tlic arrangemcnt is that you'rc 1)clla's parcrits wcrc liurt; they 

a child as lonpas you rcmain under u.anted licr to kicp tlic baby. But: 

your parents' roof. "I knew I was not ready for arcnt- 

"I'll bc in my room stud ing," hwd. I warltccl morcout of I' ifc, lor 

says Janinr, with whom wc Lgan n~c and my baby." 

this story. "And my mother will tell 

me tlrc haby nccdsa hatf~. I think of No M A ~ E R wl~at rourse a [irkfinant 

the tcst I'v~jiot coming up,and tl~at tccn-agcr cliooses, onc tliing is 

it won't hurt tlic baby to wait until ccrtain: it will tw ncitlicr 11airlless

. 

-. -...- - .-.. --) 

! 

fly hfAftCAftErP N. O'SllU' I 

U." u.11 W*I., 

The tllslraught CwrgIa woman 

' be~gcrl an IIpgMIe South Cnrollnn . 

obslclrlclnn lo llnd her one mnre 

'bahy: llcr own thrcc had all died ' 

myslcrlaas crlb dcnlhr nnd -slrc 

was Ilnablc lo bcar more children. 

Tt~uchetl by the woman's grlcl, 

Ule doctor dld llnd a hahy - lhc 

chlld of an unwed molhcr coin. 

ddcnblly rclerred lo him by the 

.. 

pedlrlrl. 

The Baby Business 

. -..-__..-_. i. 

clans who, 

had lruled 

the three 

dead bnhln 

while they 

wero ellve. 

T w o 

weelu Islet : 

the lourlh : 

baby. was I 

rlno.derd, . 

and the j' 

wolnrn con. 1 

frarad rhe ! 

h 1. d; 

r~notbrred / 

.hlrn..aenlnrl. . -. -. I 

-'---' 9 . her brcrsl, i 

18 she had the other lk, whlla , 

her hushand wan at work. Sha war I 

comn~lltcd lo a mcnlcl I~IltuUon. ! 

. ~ 

I1 happened 12 yenn ago, and 4 

Ibs .pcdlalrlclnns. who dclrrlbrd j 

' that lncldcnl to nre Sln~e called , 

It "1 horrlhle, lrnglc lhlng that 1 

Should never have happened 

all." 

I 

'The only real reraon for llnd. I 

In# a bahy lor that womnn wu 

to I 

+replrm the orrcr sl~c had lorl, and 1 

the ohslclrlclan slnccrcly and ybn- 1. 

ulnely 1ho11~hl lhnt If anybody evrr 

nnded R hahy, she dld," one of lhe 

dwlon Mld. "The WRY It turned 

out, If anybody evcrnceded r hby, 

rhe dldn'l!' a,- *'q,:.'.... .:,. ! 

I 

As r r ~ult of tbrL eipirltnn, '. 

doelon In that pcdlrlrlc group no i 

longer parlfclpale In prlvstc adop. 

' Ilon placemcnb - hul they arc In 

r mlnorily. Doclon and hwyen ; 

together arrange mwl nl the ! 

prlvale adopllo~ lhrl aour In 

Soulh Carolina, more Lhrn t1400 r 

yaw. .. .,; 

I 

~t la r proellce roundly 

crltlcl7cd hy soclal work pr* 

featlonals, wlro conlcnd lhnl It 

Ukcs sfm.lnl erpcrllse lo rccog- 

' 

nire lhc ri~lll IIUIIIU lor a child. 

F1tANl:IS I?. LRWIS.cxecullve I 

dlrtrlor ul llreSou~h ~nrollna Chll- I 

dre11'5 llur~nu - Ure slate's ol11~1 .: 

adul~llun egcnsy - nae of the ' 

mwl vocnl crltlcs of prlvalc adop- ' 

tlonr arrnngctl by doelon and luwyela: 

"lhxlors create ncw dlreorrs 1 

all the Ilnsc, and Iuwyen can llnd 

bO new ways 1 day locrerls r nrcd 

for lhrlr srrvkYS, blrl Wben @Icl~l 

worken slwl InIkInR alulll all 

tllaar l~rlnclpln we'vr knuwn lor 

yrjra, wc are arcuwtl ul 1lrrl 

(1,111t 111 ~llrl~ly 11111 ilk11 U~IU~UIII'U 

' 

'Than b 1 lo1 morn lo 11 than 

thal. our nmency Is theone lhal hsa , 

lo @W In and clsrn II~ (La mesner ; 

msde by pple who dldn't know 

What they wera dolnp. Our sgcncy I 

b the one lelt to place the hondl. / 

Capped brhln and (ha premature 

brbln wllh health problems (Irrt 

rren'l good enough for U~cra wondcrful 

pcaplo who love rnd wan1 

hahler BO much they are wllllnl to 

buy one," 

lrwls has aakcd tho leglslrtlvs 

colnnllllec lbal hnndln chlldren'r 

rllrln to conslder some swceplng ' 

chan~a In Saulll Corollna adup 

flon law lhal would virtually 

clllnlnale r slgnlflcanl chunk of 

the prlvnle rdoptlon beslnesr. 

&ria wnnb all r~lupllona by non- 

-. rralilenlr lo -.. k 

. 

hnndled hy licenaed 

ayenctea, llke bb own. and prcfci: 

cnce glven lo Sm~lh Crrollnr 

coupled who rra wrlllng lor 

bablm. ' 

Thole rdopllons now sra 

almost eaclr~slvely the provlnce of 

prlvslo lrwycn, mail ol whom do 

not nolUy the Children's Bureau, 

ID required by hw, or mnl lhc 

legal pmvlslens of (he inlcnbls 

Compocl on Chlldrsn when brblur 

rr,r placed rcrou rlrte llner. 

trwlc would really llhe all 

Soulh Crrollnr rdoptlonr lo bc 

monllarcd by. r((mclss, hul hc 

knows much r propul #lands IIftlc 

cbrnce ol paaame. 

. Several South Crmllnr judger ' 

. md le&lrlrlon hrvs rdopled chll. 

'.drcn lhrouph prlvrls lawyen 7 

Including ulle rentlor who men- 

.Ilonnl In paulnl durlng 1 pollllcal . 

crmprlgn Ulrt he'd llke to have I 

rnolber ehlld bul war "oul Of the 

.. baby-rnrklnp bualnar." The week , 

rllcr elccllon dry, r candldrla lor 

. rnolher ofllce su~~ealed he rdopl 

!. 1 baby she knew rboul. 

A porllal IbI of puhllc olflclah 

:. who hrodlcd at leml mmqprlvrtc, 

non.relallve rdopllons durlng 

lhelc legal crrccn hcluda one 

' lonntr governor, one former canfiressnlrn 

an$ Ihrce lrmlly court 

udgu. . . . 

"!.," addlt;;;"$~h'r;is~d,r;sI& 

and I0 rcprescnbllvts havo han. 

died prlvrte rdoplloaa through 

1 jar olliea. 

Wendell E. ~c€rsckln;'a Myrtle 

lknch lawyer who has hrndlrd 

reverol rdupllonr r year lor two 

dardm, was r membcr 01 the 

General 'hwmhly In 1963 when 

6011th Carallnn adopllon lrw rrs 

loll rtvlsod. 

111s nrg~lmenls wera largely 

aporulble for the much-lbd pr* 

vlslon Uul home sludlw and wall. 

Ing pcrlodr can be wrlvcd, 11. 

though evidence ntggmlr Ihal Me. 

Cracken I crrclul rboul lelll0l 

home studles done. 

Ila doea not do "qulcklo" adop 

Ilnnq, pay any n~alernlly exptnzcl. 

gel prennlnl adopllon conrcnlr. ftr 

handle rdoplloru lor oul.0f.lUlc 

couples unlm lbey have rclrllva 

or clace lrlendr In llorry County. 

TffE DIRECTOII ol the OJI. 

drcn'n nurcru when MKrackln 

was in the lloure wra Joaephfne A. 

Cannon of Colurnblr. LlLe her 

prrdrmrur. Lhc late Ellzrbrlh 

Mourm, MIS. Onnoa lrled UJ 8.1

- - - . .. . - 

. 8% ", AGAINST DRIVATI'. ADOPTIONS (cont Id) ~111:. STATE ~ o r c h 10 1984 

I 

&gblalure tocunllnc all adop 

' I r baby do I\ ln fnutralloo a1 the : 

1lom to he ~nlldren'l ITurenu, wall, or kcawe b y fear they 

cludlng even the state welfare do- 

will ba "~oaold" by ~ hs time lhelr " 

i parlmenl. nanla gel# lo the lop. The aKCncln .a 

recently as \POI, olllclrl. In contend 1h.l the prlvale adollll~n , 

(he dlvlslon of Chlldren and Faml- 

syslem hu belped La crcale lhme* ' 

ly ~ervlccs 01 DS Irld 10 gel long walling IIrb and only maka 

wellare agoncy'a govemlnR board I them longer by 8lphonlng off'; 

(o ,porn le~idatlon lhnl would ; herllhy, whllr infants. : ,.I. 

I' 

requlrc all adopllons lo be 1 s a vlclow cycle: u).;': 

mo~lored 

- no1 performed - by ..'. Lcwb, erecuUvo dlreclor of the, 

,I 

! : atale agenclm. 

: Chlldren'a Uuresu. "When 111 (ha ,. 

The rcqunl war made at two 

comullvc Imrd ntrcllngs, and 

both tlnia two lawyer-rrremben 

- Chairman John C. WUllnn~s Jr. 

bablm ((0 to lhe prlvals adopllon, 

ntarksl, 11 gel8 harder and harder.. 

'.' to adopt one lhrough the rgsncla. 

Then doeton and Ia~yerS plnl lo , 

... 01 Sparlanburg end Jerry Fedder Ihe agcnclca and my. 'They CPD'~' 

ol Seneca, who has alnce lefl the get you a bahy, but we can.'" .i: 

. board - r cfud lo allow the . Search organirallons lor adult : 

meanure In corne to a volc. 9 iddoplecn a h obJee1 .lo prlvnte 

Wlllhnu and Fcdder both sald rdopllon. They say (ha medlcal ; 

the rmrt ruggention of nronllorlng . Inlormallon and gcnellc hhlnrlas. a 

prlvak ndop~lon, mell~ned law. 

adult adoplea want arc seldom: a 

" 

' yen and famlly cwrt Judges, who collected and kepl by lawyen, alp. + 

I could he lnuled to handle lhem though they arc roullno in agency. 

properly. Neither Wllllanu nor 111~8. I.-.v 

Fedder haa ever bccn lnvolvnl in " 

Wllllam Plerce of the Nallonn!,;; 

more than a handful of privnle 

Commlllee for Adopllon 

' adopUow in 

In WrsIl 

legal prnclln. 

lnglon, D.C.. war among the flmt 

Dul prucnl Chlldren'a Dureru 

' 

lo reallu lhll Soulh C~rollnl W.8' 

Dlreclor Lewis and nlher crlllm of 

becurnlng a nallonal markelplnce' 

prlvrte rdopllon~conlend lawyen 

lor babla about three YePN ~g0;' 

and Judgea can'l all be Iruslcd, and 

t 

when report8 beurn flll~rlng in 

they're cdnvlnccd Ihal some In. 

tiom his mcmkr rgenclel. 

Soulb Carollna would be con.. 

I 

' ddered blnckmnrkel bnby bro-1 

I1lerce my# there I8 Just in0 

! 

: hers in a atale whcre chlld.selllng much rwm for ahure In prlvolc* 

Ir Illegnl kcauc of the high lcgal 

udopllon. One rcason Is lhll iaw.l 

1 fecr lhey charge, and the long Ihl yen am pald by vdopllve parenla, 

a I 

of fhsnclel lncenllva lhey offer 

"nose arc the ellent8 who haVal 1 

bltlh molbcn. 

10 k uthlled - not Lh. mothen ' . 

Thm lawyam, lcwla says, 

of the babln and no1 the babla:' 

almml lnvarlnbly wink rl the 

)'lcrcs says. "Tbert I nothing 10 

! rlghta of hlrth parcnb and Ignore 

.legal pmleclioru lor babln. . . 

keep r prverl Imm cmll18'uP 

.-. . 

I 

"II'm hard loury lhal h ~ b are ~ a 

WII~ r';itKZ ~r witilng to. 

&In# bought and sold," Lewb 

! 

glve up her chlld, and there Is 

I :. up. "We nre aware of very few 

nothlng lo keep an unnc~pulous 

I 

oulrlghl cluh paymenu for chll. 

lrwyer from holdlng out lor thea 

: dren, Dul we arc nwnre of many hl&hnl.dollar. *: 

' 

women who planned lo rcleaw 

lheir babln lo ur or lo DSS, bul 

"In thal ktnd of ayntem, po~en.j 

'Ir mlndr 

llally wnnderiul parcnb can ba 

' 

m a y for rent, clotha, barupor-, 

l0~kcd PUI of .adopllng chlldrc" 11' 

.---. . . . .- . .Illey don't have ready canh. That's 

hllon, medical expclues a d nUl f ~lr to lhcm or lo the children, 

11,000 ~18b to rlrrl Ill@ over after WIIO ~lrservs a ah01 al the berl, 

! ; the baby. was born. 

posrlhle parep& , nal jusl tho 

"11 lhal buylng the haby? And weallhlwl!' 

When ~oupla pay Utounundn of 

' I 

Crillm of prlvrte adopllon nay. 

dolh In erorbllanl lr~el ices, are 

buylnn preference over 

ILY advocala mlnrepmnl lhe 

truth about molhen and babler. 

coupla who have leu money 10 

, "Thcsc are no1 pmr, hclplas, un. 

compete for a chlld? 

,, wantod bablu king glvcn up by. 

' "Thw are ell lhln llncs." ,'.I 

. hard and callous 'lowe women,"' 

' DT. Diane Thompson, who 18 in 

Lawb uyr. "One reasan agencla 

charme of udop110ru at DSS, any1 

t, 

I Mme prlvlle adopllon Is "child. 

belleve in muiucllng la Ihal we 

.know from cxpericnce how hard It 

a~lchlng" bccncue "lhae bahlcu 

I# (osurrendcra baby lor adopllon. 

m slolcn from the ogunc~ea the1 

! have the legal aulllorl~~llan and "Tha wunlen Involved are 

! 

tho mlal work erpertlsc to place olntml all front 'nlcc,' mlddle 

lbcm properly." 

clnss fantllla, and ntml of lhem 

core Very dccply abn~ll lhelr 

ACFfiCIIS IIAND1.F: only IS 

hnbln. Thcy grlrve. Thcy acnd 

., 

pemnl of all lnlanlc placed fm ' 

lellcra and plclurm lo go In lhc 

adnpllon, and lhcir long wnillng 

bnblm' lll~ In case they ever wnnl 

lbu mean I1 w ~ll bo four lo nlr 

lo know why lhey acre ~lven up. 

yam before an IIppllC~nl can ex. 

Thcy wanl lllelr chlldren lo k wcll 

Wl lo have a chlld - If then. I)SS 

provldrd lor, but lhey wanl mml 

bas 1 waltln~ list 400 nantn long, 

for Ilulr children lo be lovtd!' 

and the Saulh Cnrullna Chlldrcn's 

Bureau ~ IU 200 fa~nilln mltlng. 

DSS L1 no longer accelrll~~~ new 

. a~pllc.rlloiU lor Infan1 a~lapllon~, 

and whllr the burenu and re. 

~I~iowlcharllal~lc ngcnclca lakc 

new appllcallonr. ltlcy don't gusr. 

anlee DnYlhlng will vorttc nf Ihrln. 

Many Inrn~t~v~ 

wtlrr itlm In due 

and lawyrls 111 l1cl11 il~rlll llnli 

I' 4 R 

&#

~~~ ,~,, 

~~ ~~. 

~ 

~ . 

~ 

S'ngle, pregnant: 3 women's stories . 

r; 1, 

I 

U *iduprmd blrrh mum1 and 

aka- 

I 

mwfabill~y of legal rhrmp~~lc 

lie& Irk lhr ulllnmu, dwllng brwh- 

To ~inptr mwmm spf .Y) ID 28 b 

Canada. llrrrc wre 7.3W Mlu brm in 

1976. 

Plrnry of orhrr una rmk mhr 

mvt - aborllon In 1976.58 pr mrr 

n'eil ~wnm who had aknlonr mwt 

.+'w 

% hu UI IJ @nu up hrr M y /a 

ol~~luri. Jmn hho abonrda prrrLlr 

a h *w a un~rnlry ~ludt~: and 

Svron rho up mmr omblrfont ra 

. ~ 

So's 22 manled and lluh wllh Uu 

bloom of sslrmonth pregnmmy. 

lt'r the flrDI baby ha b. able to 

moUur. 

Iho oUur one - Ulo an* she Ion@ b 

sa "lull ona mom llms' - wrs born 

avn yran .lo. At 15, wilh bu 

Irk 

Hurlng la look a1 her rnd bmd imm 

furlhrr mnwwllh ha bqlrlmd lhm 

-..-, 

war "no way" aha could nphl lo rafn hrr 

",.,,A 

3 she gave It up U Ua (hlldrm3 Ald 

Wcly for "wmslueky couple who un'l 

hrvr air mmchlldmn* , 

Well caU her Nancy. .%a llvn In 2 

modern, lullydrcorsmcd 6emldela 

how In Wlllawdrle, wllh her 27.yrsrold 

husband hbrk (not hlsrell nnme,elfherl. 

11s "can't wall" for fhls bsby lo b. 

born heuyr 

I#@ was lhs 14lhrr ul her flml chUQ 

100. 

Ila wanled to marry her, hsck Uxn 

when the awful rrrlov~nt 01 her prev 

a r n hi1 ~ home lo lhem bo(h 

But her p8rmI. put a'sbp lo Uul 

lhouahL Slunncd at (he ncvs - Uy 

hrdn'l cvrn known h a had a LnyfrlW 

- lhty rhunld her 011 almost imm& 

rWy lo a downlorn home lor unwd. 

prcananr glrlr 

They cold Mark lo lorprl about Uvfr 

druqhtrr and flnd another glrl Ihry hr- urnl was wllhdrowal - mmefimrr nll- ronvlction rho's held and reprated La her. MYL Mark igrm 

ICJ hlm from ronucllng Nancy on lhs cd 1lwlm~ruulrlla Icr by lhsa wno ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~lw.m'la 118 llnlUl found her a1 Ua k&W a 

un.1 of charctnc - - hlm wllh ram 01 r !~orcllUfalllb~l~lv. hmkrr. I vu 

~ 

kld who'd mnda 1 mu 

low days later* was haldlng thlr 

mbnor. Whenaha h&

' 

could feel the bnl~y movlng lnsldc her, 

Corclon announced hc wlshcd she'll had 

an nborllon. 110 dldn't want s baby, ho 

Susnn (not her rcal name), wllh her .. 

dm Ic, slaptlssh panlsnnd.a.blou.te look "hlY llfc hnd no' bmn slake, not 

her frcsh.rcruhbd free of even cmollonnlly. Whcn It came rlghl 

..lnkcup, lccls she llls lnlo ncllher calcgcr down to 11, for I feel aborllon 

It w.m 'shameful' 

C 

. 

lor a llrcgnoncy tcst nlonc. Susan rclurnrd lo hcr old Job nllrr 611c~n~s. 

I 

mnlcrnity Icovc. Ilcr lllc Is occuplcd rvllh . Junn (a IictlUouq name) wns lllc vicllm 

! 'Bear the burdeB llndlng bnl~yslllcrd, daycare, frlmds of 011~ small sllll in lrlrlll cunlrol. 

wllh s~nnll cl~lldrcn, and mnklng ends llack llorllc In Ilonlllllln - rvllcrr. 

'\ve'd bccn havlng dlscusslons nlroul meet flnanclnlly. Ironlcnlly, her lnlhcr rvas n lnlnll doclor 

wllrrc our rcla,lonsll(p going; 

Shc rnr'dy cxlcntlz hrr lunch hour as - st~r hnrl hall a gynerolnfilsl s[c cnrll~l 

rrcnlls. u\vc-d llvcrl logrlllcr mon~ls 811c must lcnvc rl~lrt on llmc lo l~lck 1111 irusl. Sllc'd gonr lo lllm nl nga ID ln clls- 

(iordo,l rras qucsllonlng 

11 sllould hrr chll~l. Shc hns not slnrled lo dalc, cuss uslng 1110 Pill u41cn shn slnrlrtl lmvntay 

logcthcr. prrlcrrlng lo go out wllh old frlcnds In. Ihg scBx wllh her boyfrlcnd of thnt Ilnlc. 

stend. 

'I 'llflUfih' I would Sllc slarlc~l 1110 1'111 wllh lhnl cloclor's 

*Ie 

and a "Promulloni nnd cnrccr wlll hare lo npprovnl 11111 !vrrtL lo vnrloug l~nspllnls 

wlllt tlll he's older nnd I. mn filvc morc nnrl t~lrlll conlrel cllnlcr lor rcnc$vals. 

1Imc nl work to ndvnncc 111yscl1," ahc 

'Ire test prove11 ~oslllvr. snys. Thrn she 6mllc.s a trlllc lronlcally. 'No swent' ' 

fiordon hnd somc'lmrs wlsllrrl 

rcslnurnql ncnr lhe unl- carell for her jol, 'I'hosr cllnlr vlslls wrrc llkc nn exprrr 

lor 8Ion of lllc nn~l~lvnlrnt llmcs sllo llvccl 

do~nrslic mrcs. Tho l~nl~y llns 

fur (;ordon la sny UIC baloncc nuw tlul is go,rl. llllnlll~c lrotl,,l srxllnl rr,,l,lol s,vrllt 

I w~~r~l "nlrurllan." 

ytlunl: IWU~III! nllrl sl~~llllrrl lllrlr rlllcrs. 

4 "The hnrllrst jlnrl of my lllr Is b~~ll~llng 

1 21 

r\l rumrllllnl[y illl lll.conlr,ll cll~~lrs 

'Icr surllrlsr, hr lral!rnatlrnl Il nll nvrr n,:nln," RIIC 8nys. "None of nly 

e;FY'nllJus'in~ ... rvc'rc go I 

sllr'rl hc Ilvl~rw~l~~lll,~l lly yolll lllul, 

to llnvc a 0111 rx~~rclnll~~ns 111 IIOW. I have to rrmtr 

lly7y." 

~ ~ ~lllls~ors I ~ Ill ~I!~IIS ~ n1r11 ~ tl~rtlt!- ~ I 

new nnrs an11 I II:IVC lo~l~r It nll 11). 111ysrl1. , lll,.ll 11~1[ rill jlr,,l~llll ll(~r ntlll 

"" lill' slloulll lrnvc irredcd 'Iw 

I 1 s~~rvlr. 1 I I I I hit!. '.IIU a.~-;~l" 1,) I I.III.N,~II~: 1111. IIIII. 

lunc lo hla v111rt-. 

l o r ~III 11r rr~~rcrs I I . I ,\I I ~ ~ ~ ~ lI.IIIIIPI, t i l i ~ l on 1111! olllrr IIIIIII~, 

?I slx III!III~II~ id ~~r~.jinanr)., tvl~cn she hnvc lo - lor ~rly I~nlny." $111,'al ~OIII~.IIIII~'S I'II(.IIIIII~I*I. 1111' l~ursv. 

I ' .- - - - . . .- - - ---- 

, . . , < p-w 

J 

1371

ahr Sunbay ~lnnla;r.lph 

MARCH 14, lVB2 

Focus 

~- ~~.~ . .-.~. 

dw*d.&'.."c iiten.~ ;tuna inphm" miy hrd 

bcrn (old lhrm 11 mlthl ULl lhm 11.t years lo adoyl 

I bab?. 04 lhr *m krrv .sunud rn lor car. 

nludlri "Nlh na.l~.r.nlmsF Mrs. h lili ti;: 1 

hlrs, hllll~r 

mnd her husband dldn'1,d.r~ lo adopl. bsby. 

urn rh slrned frellna .I thoufi slr , 

Abul lhl llmt Ur hllllerr lud a *Ill drawn up and 

' I.lkrd rllh lklr illorncy aboul prlr.tr adapllon. Thal 

, nl In Anll. Mn. Mlllrr rmle Irltcrs lo errw 

In hlly, thlr seatrhln# l vnd up. plsslblr adyllta 

baby In hulhm llllnoll. lnclr allamry rhrckd, hul 

Ih PntNnl roman h d an .batlm. 

In Juw. lhelr mlnlstrr lold lhrtn aharl Jlmnny's 

molhrr. a prrtnanl lrrnagrr. Jlmmy r.8 ham In 

Narcmhr. and lhs Mlllrn adopled hlm 1h lollorln# 

JUM. 

The p#ocw rrm'l eamy. and kause llr Mlllrrm 

*rro rnrnrllnt lhrlr own .do llm. .I1 lha dm,. lhl 

..re lhul were ,hut dlrrclly k urlr Ian. 

For Intlanrr lhry rrre ,tad 10 lake Jlmmy home 

lrvtn Ihr holbll.1 iltcr hll firth, bul hln ~lural 

nvllher dwldcd lo kwp hlm. 

hlrs Mlllrr rrp ihc IcII ar lhvgh ih had Ilrrn 

blrlh in a illllbrn beby. m went lo Ih hmpllal lo 

111. Jlmmv'r mlhcr lh tdnl hame w1III a h had

.. . 

That major setback was just one of many along the 

way. It was a "long, hard struggle," Mrs. Miller says. 'I'llcre were 'court case studlcs and tccttnlcalltlcs, so 

. 

In Februhry the Mlllerv read n story 'In Tllc Pnn. '' It *as 1U ntottttts belore the r~tlopllor~ was final. But for 

tngraph about a single teen-agc mother and her dlf- dl1 purposes, the struggle tltat Mrs. MIller cornpares 

ficulties coplng w1ti1'pnrenthood. 

wlltt a pregnancy and blrth, had culmlnnlcd In that 

Flcllllous. names were used, but the Millers knew 

\nomen1 of ecstasy for the family. 

from tile dclalls that Jlmmy was the 3.monlh-old baby Any adoption is stressful, Mrs. Mlller says, but she 

In the story. They cut it out and wrote "Jimtny" at the feels the stress Is less snd the posslbllitics nrc greater 

top. 4 In private ndoptlon. That oplnion was strengthetted 

.. The glil, called Peggy, ;as a tenth-grader when 

wller obstetrician she had written called her three 

gave blrth. Jlmmy's lather was 17 years old. , , ,.. year. .er offering her a haby to adopt. 

She also . feels the expenses are less In private. 

She took Jimmy to scllool to show hlm off. In the ndop(ions 11 cltoose an attorney carefully nrtd 

story, site says- "tots 01 the glrls said they'd like to do some of the,searclt(ng thernsclvcs. The hlIl!ers paid 

have a baby, too, If they knew Ito~ 

they could support $1,000 for Jimmy's adoption. s I 

' one." 

Obtalnlng mediiai hlstorlcs of the baby's parents Is ] 

P eggy has slnce had anotltcr baby. whom she also somclirncs more of a problem in private adoptions 1 

gave up for adoptloh, The Millers were sad than In agency adoptlons, but the Mlllcrs attend the 

. I 

about loslng Jlmmy, and they had given up hope. same church as Jlmmy's natural maternal brand- 

, 

of gelling hlm. parents and know sotnething about the family and its 

health. 

But Mrs. Miller's gulding phllosophy of the prlvate 

', adoptlon struggle has been "if one door gets shut, 

K nowledge of the natural relntlves 1s rare in I 

before you know It, another door will open ... It will agency adoptions and more cotntnon In private . 

usually 

you least 

adoptions. Sotne agcncles it1 other parts of the I 

out to.be true for her. 

That lurncd country are to adopt[Ons," In , 

which names of adoptive and birth parents are ex- , 

In June, Peggy decided It would be best to give up clladged. ' 

; 

the baby. 

I 

' That mutual knowledge has not been a problem In 

' 

The Millers' telephone rang at 10 o'clock one Satur- Jlmmy's case. 1 

day night, when Miller was out of town. i 

Jimmy's grandparents stay at a dlstance and observe 

, 

It was their minister. "You st111 want a baby, don't him, for which Mrs. Mlller is grateful. She sends them' 

, you? You know what baby I'm talking about, don't a photo of Jlmmy each year on his birthday. 

you?" Mrs. Miller's answer was "Oh, not Jimmy!" Private adoptions, ~rs. Miller says, arc likely tb 

Two days later the attohey, who had been through 11 have happy endlngs for couples who are "serious 

all with the Millers, came, to the door carrying ) Jimmy, . enough and want lo really do It." 

. . . 1 . I

i 6-N obstetrician 

in .private 

I 

adoptions 

By ELAINE GRAYBILL 

Pantograph staff 

A Bloomlngton obstetrlcinn, Dr. Sun-San Lin. 2111 E. 

Washington St.. is one of the people instrumental in 

privnle adoptions of easy-to-place (white, healtl~y) 

, infants In Central Illinois. 

Lin ai-ranges "lcss than one (adopllon) a rnonth," he 

1 ;aid. Tlre clnirn was meant lo be modest. but flgurn 

I 

from tlre adoption handbook published by Tile Junior 

League of Chlcago, Inc. (see accompanying story) 

show that some lllinols agencies place fewer than 30 

' 

I children a year in ad0ptiv.e homes. 

. . 

The.birt11 mothers are his liatlents who have chosen 

! adoptlon over nborllon -"a gwd class of people," he 

said. A lot of those mothers have been college students. 

t ~ n though d he has many letters on file asklng for 

babies, the adoplive parents are usually his infertility. 

patienk for whom years of medical treatment have 

failed. If he can't cure their inferiility, Lin sald, he 

, feels It's hls responsibility to find tlrem a baby. 

Occaslonnlly he has a hard-to-place infant, suclr as a 

blraclai child, and will go lo his collection of letters to 

find an adopt1Ve famlly. 

Some birth mothers worry that the adoptions are not 

legal, he said. "I always tell my patients we are not 

selling the baby." He doesn't charge for his part in the 

a$options, and only asks that the adoptive parents pay 

the moUlers' medlcal costs. Sometimes, he said, those 

costs are covered by the mothers' insurance. 

Such adoptions are legal In lllinols if the charges are 

lor services and not exorbilant. An attorney is necessary 

lo complete legal proceedings. 

I 

He finds many of his birth mother patients prefer his 

help to an agency adopllon - "for p'rivacy," he said. : 

In an agency adoption, Lin said, the mothers "don't 

have loo much say as to who adopts." But he assures 

his patients tlreir babies wlll go to good families. 111s 

infertility patients are people i~e has known for years, 

he said, and he tells the birth nlotlrers a11 about tlrem. 

1 Lirr takes It on hirnsclf to give sorric services oflen 

1 not provided in private adoptions, the lack of which is 

sorrrellmes the target of critlcism. 

He tries to protect the birth motlrers from stress 

related to the adoption, and encourages tlretn to have 

someone with Ulem for moral support during labor and 

delivery. 

Lin's adoptive parents gel descriptive informntion 

about the biological fathers, but he rarely obtnins 

fathers' medical histories or names, he said, because 

he doesn't pressure nloUrers for more than they want 

(O lell'illlll. 

Medical rccords nboul tile birllr rnotllers 11e treals 

will rrlwnys be availirble sotr~c\rl~ere, 1,111 sald. 'l'lrose 

who dlsnpprovc of private ndopt!ons have said such 

recortls arc frequently lost. 

Lln is careful about hls adoptions. And, 11e said, 

n no st come out pretty good."

. 

Groups lend a suqppoitive hand 

Jimmy's adoptive mother (see accompanying 

story) recommends that 

Ob(ectI~e: to qlve lnlormallon to couples infererfed 

In adoptlnq school.aqc chlldren and to answer quel 

. . tlons about problems in adopllon 01 those chlldren 

anyonegoingthroughaprivateado~ Adoptioncan beemotionally's and loreign.born children. 

tion get the suo~ort of at least one . . 

lr Candy Slcck, 

8. ,.,':....w- . 

Objective: to keep abreast ol leglslallon; to Dromote 

sealed records. conlidenllallly ln~aopllons and Ins 

whether it is done privately or through 

OURS, inc. 

an agency, and support groups have 

- Heart 01 Illlnc4r Chapter 

Ill7 Summit Blvd. 

been formed to provide for adoptive 

. Peoria. IL 61511 

Contacl Barbara BerQ, 1409.691.499, or Sharon 

parents encouragement through talk- ments, and information sources. 

Chlldron's 

Ado~tlon 

Home 

Trlengla 

and Ald Soclely ol llllnols 

Chllds.. I.W-57b.7745. 

Oblecti~e: to ~rovlde inlormalion on lnfernatlonal 

ing with others, and information. If the information changes, up-to- p,U!'~~~sc. .,- ,.=,, .,. 

adoptions and hard.to.place children; to provlde 

date facts can be obtained -from: -The Cham~alqn. IL 61810 

cultural Information lor parents and adopted chll. 

Contact Rav Murphy. 1~1I7.IU~5097; or Cathy Col. 

dren, 

There are' groups to at Adoption Information Center of Illi- bert, t.~tr.~~9.sars. 

various stages, and i'n various types of 

nois, whose toll-free telephone number 

Obiccll~e: mec~nqs and dlscusslonl on top~cs 01 

RESOLVE. Inc. 

adoption. mutual lnlerert among blrth parents, adopted adult, : ~ ~ ~ , " , s t l ~ ! ~ ~ 

is 1-800-572-2390; or Beverly Laseke, and ado~llve parents. 

Conlac1 Marsha Shelnleld. 1~3ll.743.lbll. 

adoptive parent representative to the 81yc; y;;;? Councll on ~dopleble children Obleclive: branch 01 a nattonal wganlxatlon oller- 

The groups below arc part df the 

lng relorrslr to c ~~ert medlcal care, aaopllon tacII. 

listing in "Adoption: A Guide to Adop- advisory board for Illinois Department Pekm, IL 61554 rtio. pr1v41e counselinp and support groups; olters 

Contact Sue Wlttlleld. I.JW.JP.IW1. 

educational programs and swakerl bureau. 

tion in Illinois," written by Candace of Children and Family Services, 709 obi,n~ve: , 

McGuire, Wilmette, and produced by Lynda Drive, palatine, IL 60067, tele- Place chlldren; lo hem raclally mlxad cou~les who The Soulh*rn llllnolt Adopllva Femllier Assocle. 

want 10 adopt; lo work loward changlnp laws. llon 

The Junior League of Chicago, Inc. phone 1-312-358-0419. 33 Gralnev 

Th* Children's Advo~te. Inc. 

P 0. 801 656 

Edward%v~IIr. IL 61015 

Most of the groups serve people both , o, a,5, ConIact Katnrvn Benqlron. 1+18.788.917a. 

Contacl Kathy I.815.,U.ln7; or Mary Oblectlre' lo Provide support In ~ren between East 

The adoption guide, published in De- before and after adoptions. 

St. Louis and PeWIa. Ail races are represented In 

Courtney. I.8ICbt4.lll. 

cember, is available free from The 

ob~ect~ve: to work for change I ,r care t the orqan'rat'On' 

adopt~on In llllllols; to IInd homes tard.lo.pta 

Junior League, 1447 N. Astor St., Chi- 

children. 

Sprlnptlald Councll on ~doplrble Chlldran 

Adopllva and Foster Pyent& Orgenlzrllon 

13M South 10th 51. 

cago, IL 60610. The book lists pro- IM3 

~~ox~o,d 

.. . CO,~ 

HoII Intarnatlonal MolMrs Club qnrhnntirln IL ,57101 

~ - --. .. ..- .-. .- --.-- 

cedures for private and agency aiop- ~~~;~O,;~,:$+~~~P,~,~,,, ,,,, 3b 

palatino. E~SI Brobkdale IL mob7 

McCaahrv. I.I~.IP~.~IO: 

tions, agency statistics and require-, ob~ecrive: fo glve supporr and inlormallon. Conlact ~ udy 

Oblenlve: Contact Bevcrly to give Reynolds. ,upport: I.Z~~.S~E.I~M. 

to help with placement 

01 chlldren on Adopllon intormallon Llstlnq ssrvlco.

~ ~~~~~~ . 

I ! 

3y. 

L re g , 

.:. 

li: ..-I. ,.., !i? 

,: 

\'I > 

... 

. : >, : 

i 

"5 

; j ? h , , 

>...%.'.-.-m,?w,?*" ,-m,w*

-*. ---.- . __.. 

..,..... ......- - .,. . .... 

,.- 

Local . group fonneil! I 

little more tllan two years ago, adoptees Koreii 

Somchisen and Jenn Williamson set out to find 8 . 

I>* 

Willlamson's blolo~ical mother,,.'.. 

I .IF 

It took only a day. %.. . n.p. 

'. Q*, 

A few months later, ~a;nchisen found her bidlbgj, I 

mother, too. 

I' . f 

Itilpressed with their success, the two Elmirn ;, 

women decided to share what Lhey leariled with 1,s: 

otl~ers. About a year and o l~alf ago, they formed o 

group called the Supportive Organizntlon for , 

I# 

4 

Adoptees and Parents (SOAP -"We wanted a cat$l$ 

name people wo~lld remember," Somchisen sayp):ie 

The group's purpose is to hclp other orloptees an4 ,, 

biological pnrents who are doing searches. 11 

. "We provide supnort and a place to go whtireydit 

can talk to nll the members of tile adoption triangle&' 

(adoptees, adoplive parents 

.where you can talk about tl~e 

adoption situntion," 

'!'he group meets the third 

month, from 7 to 10 p.m., in Rooin El6 

Psychiatric Center. For more 

Snml~isen at 520 Broadway, .

. . . . ,. . . ... .. - . . .. ., . . . . . I . . 

. . .. . :. .. . . ..I:*.. 

. --_ 

By TOM BEISWENGER nre n lot of mixed the child she gave up 

feelings. 

for ndoptlon. 

lbose who are involved In the adoption trlnngie 

Although there is no 

(ndoptees, adoptive pnrenta nnd biolo~icni pnrents) Birth pnrerlts also nrc 

stlgmn attached to 

often ride a roilerconstcr of emotions, filled with the hnrdest to convince 

being nn adoptive 

sudden rises and deep, quick lolls. 

to bik about their 

pnrent, u child's scnrclr worry whnt wlll happen if the child ever wants t 

For the blologlcni parent, there's a stigma 

experiences. Mnny of 

for his "real parents" flnd his birth pnrents, snys Helen Ayder, . . 

attnched to giving a child to someone else. Never them morried nnd ltnd 

cnn be rough on thcm. supervisor of foster care and ndoption for the 

mind that the mother was too young or simply familles afler they gave 

Gunhiid Werrick of Chemung County Department of Sodnl Sewlcea. 

I 

unable to provide for the child. People still look up n child for ndopllon. 

Wellsboro is Knthy "When they adopt a chlld, they wonder it that 4 

askance nt those who wouldn't, or couldn't, tnkc They don't wnnl to 

rellvo the pnst publicly. Lnrgcy's ndoptlve child will ever flnd his biological perenla.. ..Wh: 

w e of their own. 

mother. She niso has tell them thnt thb may happen, but that it's - ,. 2 

Diologlml pnrJnU prefer to be cnllcd birth 

In fnct. mmc imvc kcpt 

helped many other 

probnbly not goi:q to be as badns they antlcipats; 

pnrents. that purt of their pnst 4 

secret from their 

ndoplces who nre 

it will be. They're afrhid it wlll upset their family: 

'7he birth pnrent 11s the mod to den1 with. 

There's sUll n stlgmn nttnched to giving up n child hmilles. nrey don't 

senrching for birth unit. This usually doesn't happen." . a 

pnrents. But ns nn 

But tho! ndvic@ Isn't much help when thcchird!, 

for adoption," snys Kathy Lnrgey of Wellsboro, an want to risk disrupting 

ndoptlve mother, site. 

nnnounces thnt he wants to find his blologiml . 

ndoptee who haa completed her henrch for her Ute status quo. 

understnnds how a . father or mother. The fear of losing t h child ~ : 

birthmother md who has helped others do A year and a haif of rerrurfnces. Werrick snys. -. 

scnrchcs. 

research on these 

child's search for his 

birth pnrcnts con he 

Although she provided her dnughter wlth lh?:S 

Dlnh pnrcnts must live niwnys unsure of their series turned up only 

threntening fa the nnmcs of her birth pnrcnts, she says she war . 

child's weil.being. 

ono birth mother who 

adoptive pnrent. "scared silly" when Knthy began her search. . $ 

lbey nlm have to live with Ule possibility thnt hod bcencontncted hy . "YOU don't know whnt the child is going lo nod: 

thelrbiolodcnl child will flld them somcdny. Even her ndopted child nnd 'The child is yours 

though most states seal ndoption records, virtunlly who wos willing to folk nnd you ore ready to 

no one Is untrncknble. For mnny birth parents, tile nhut lter experience. She snid she'd do the fight anybody or nnything for thnt child.. ..Wllen 

meeting is nn uncxpcctcd binst from the pnst. lntervicw only If her nnme was not used. But in the tltot child first comes. you wont lo shut out 

While Mudies show tltecontncts usuolly arc middle of tile intcrvlew, she buckeci out, refusing to mything thnt Isn't in your life nnd hers. And Werrlck snys she nlso 

discuss any of the dctniis surrounding the hirlh of durina that first few months, you get nervous when (See Stigma on Page 3C ) 

(pet4 with hnppl~rcsr, Lnrgey snys, there always 

- - . . ..... . -.---.

(Contlnc~etl froin Pnge 1C) 

mother. "I owetl her n lot. Shc.gnvc me Knllry.",.:'? 

Atloptlvc parents nlso worry abont how scnrclred 

wlll allect their ndopled children. .., 

One ndoptlve mother who nslced not to be ider~tlfied 

snid the only fenr she and her husband hnd ebout'~':~ 

their dnughter's scnrch was that "sl~e coultl be 11urt.by 

: It.. ..We never fought her nnd nntlcipntetl tl~nl hll'l('d 

wnnt to find her blologicnl rl~other years ago wl~e~~we 

ndopted her. .. .But we ndvisetl her to proceed .,,: y,' 

cnutlously." .. ;. 

'They hntl rnisctl their dnughlcr in n Christlnn home, 

nnd Inslend of worrying nboilt losing llrc cl~lld, t\il$ 

relied on their lnitl~. 

... 

1.. 

"It did tnkc n lot 01 tr~rstlng nntl praying to God thnt 

he wonld nrnke cverylhlng work out." 

Bot ndoptees soy no one lnces n greater rnngc of;! 

crnotlons thnn they do. Even though they llnd noll~ln~ 

to do with their birth nn~l ndoptlon, they are olte~i'~ 

outcasts in school, anlong plnymntes ond, for sotinEi,;. 

.even within their lnmllies. 91 : 

AII~ il they declde tl~cy want to know who tl~elk.~" 

blologlcol pnrents ore, they ore in lor n lot n~orey:~:.., 

Snys Lnrgcy: '"To slnrt with, you hnve to be pretL$, 

con~lortnble wit11 yo~rrsell'. Doing n search Is n l16iiy 

cxperlencc. It mny be very negntivc. You nlny firid out 

thlngs yo11 rcnlly didn't wnnl to know." 

.. , 

During her own senrrh. 1.nrgey snys, she .,,, 

"wondered If I was tlolr~g L I I ~ ri~i~l thing. Toii I~itvc" 

this fenr 01 whnt you're getting into. 111 nly cnse, I 

- 

was 

lortunntc that I had n positive experience. But you 

never know." 

Largey snys she sees her blrll~ tnolher severnl tl91es 

n ycni, end has even been a ghest in her hon~e. 'Tl),eg; 

are good lrlends. Their first contnct, though, waa-:,; 

filled with en~ollon. . .-. 

"My birth niother cried n lot, l,t~t I just couldn't tot 

thnt shaken about It. My wl~olc life had been centeitid 

nround my udol~tlve 

the meeting nll the feelings thnt. were bottled up . $ 

Inside her. ...l.l~ad 

no pnsl'cxperlences to base !nP' 

leelings on. But she wns reliving the pest, when she 

gnve me up for adoption." 

A proper lrame of mind is 

search, adds Karen 

Supporting Orgnnizatlon for Adoptecs and 

(SOAP) In Elrnira. 

"Before you slnrt your scotch, be sure 

not doing tile search out ofa desire to 

01 parents, bccnusc! even 11whnt you lind Is what 

".' 

parents.. . . She wos pnurlng @to 

, you've always drenmed 01 - douhtlul - n cl~ildparent 

relntlonsl~lp with these people Is near 

Impossible." 

Ryder also atlvlses adoptces who are 

: search to cons*ler tile clrect tl~ey will have on 

"I wouldn't discourngc tl~ern, but 

' awnre thnt they nre going to totrch 

Ilves. In sotlie cnses, they ~nny disr1111t tl~ose lives n~lfP, 

nlny even hurt sonlc people. 'I'hey have to be prcpnLe~ 

t A 

to hurt, too." 

\> 1; 

'I'lle en~ollor~s involved wit11 11 senrch llicn't :a11 r:* 

ncgnlive. During the scnrch, tho ntloplive cl~ild is $2 

olten tiriven to (lo things he never thought l~imsclf :-*; 

cnpnble of. And cvllcn the seilrcl~ Is Cblnl~lctctl, tl~cr$a 

. . 

n trcr~~cntlous o~nounl 01 snlisl~~ctiorl, utloptecs sny,. 

4 

"I1 I hndn't tlone nly senrch, I would hnve wonde? 

the rest 01 niy ilfc," S~n~~c:l~lsoi snys. "It's not 

curiosity. It's a need. It's not sorncthlng tho1 cnn bole 

passed off. 

*, 

.+ ". 

I' i 

Once tlrc scr~rcll ix over, the! c11onj:ns you 1:n ,.,: 

throngh nrt!nlt over. 1'1n still tlls~:ovcrlr~g things, nncJ-E 

tilt1 illy scarc11 two yeilrs II~~I." 

Atlcls 1Ic11.y SIII[III~IIII*~C. ~lirl!t:tnr of C~II+I~IIII~ 

, CIIIIII~Y 1:nnlily S~!rviccs: "1 CIIII i~l~l~rcclntc! ~~colrle , 

w11111ln[; to tlo n sc!;~rch. Hut if they tl1i111~ it's 11 " ' a. 

wontlerful nntl I~ernltifr~I tl~i~rg, tlrt!y'rc not S(!C~IIR t11p$; 

tolill ~~icturc!. '1'11~ pcrs1111 who is IIIIII~~II~: 1111s to 11e : 3 

~rrepnre~I for llny ~!vIII~IIIIIII~." 

., 

I n.' 

,,-d

.... 

l&]gC(JVerS : 

. I , . . . -~~ .,....~.-..,. .. ~ 

, t~lra'rl nlvc hcr lhc ndrrlrllun pnpcrs 

~ynretlny. 

.. As vt8nrs rlnsacd. llrerc wns sfrrnc 

, :.- 

i illscrl~slnrr;f llre n;lopllon, bill hlra. 

nny 

' '. k,Cur-r snltl she wouldn'l ~rrnkc 

Jbw clues : I Irrlrrrrrrnt~otr nvnllnlrlc lo Frulchy 

'1 IIIIIII nltcr Irrr drnlk. 

"Wc tvrrc Jrrrl nl thc paint wlrcrc 

ncl'y Frlrlc'ly"llrc allrry I' were rcnlly lnlklng nlrmtrl 1110 

Ilr~rtrll~lclc, lfkc n llrid~o slopped cvllcn I ,enll fronl 

ill r~~ltl~co~~strcrcliol~. 

of trry blrllrrlny In 

IliyrnrR (Illorr lrynrl count 

snld slrc wns In tlrc 

cllltdhrrnd ctrrloa!ly) FrutchY* Of 

Iroul~I~nl, nntl tIrnt ttrcy were gfolng to 

713 FnlckSt., hns lrcerllrylng lo. 1 tqrt.tn~c on her. SIC wns so~rbing OI 

fltrrl hcr pnsl. Rrrl lhe door to that I srllrcd." 

wns closet1 June 8. 1046, in the* 1llc dny, Frlllclly bonrdrd 

cllnlnllcrn of Fnrlllly Court Jlld~o blls lllc Lwo.~ny lo Florldn. 

Jnlrrr Mntthcws. "lnl wns dnY . Sllc wns nl lrcr nrofl~cr'a sllle (he dny 

tloy Mildrcd Cucr 'dopled ; llrcy olrrrnlcrl nnd lotrntl cntrcer. 

her. Arrd wlrlle 1Ir~y lovrd her nnrl : ~Ilrlr wns lImr lor 

cnrcd lor her jlrsl nn '"y o'hcr . ltllr~rrrlnllorl nboul hcr biological 

grrod pnrcrrls wotrld, lhey were no '# nlotlrcr. 

he111 lo Frutclly tvllcn slfe .*I g,,c,s 1 ,llnl I hnd to llcnl 

scnrclrlrl~ lor 'Irc"lne 

of her 

,vlllr her pl!rrdlrrg dcnllr. T11e sverclr 

bloll~glcnl n~ollrcr. : was ntrt uppcrmo~t In my I~IIII~. 

"I1 stnrtcl' '13 

M1llnl cvns rlppcnrtosl in rnlnd wns 

curlonl'y," Fru'clly snys. "When 

I 

innld~rg lrcr cornfor~n\rIe nncl cnjoy~rrg 

wns Or ycnrs old* I'd risk "y the Ins1 dnys wllh her. 

mollrcr who my rcol molhcr wna. '*l'Ire otrly Ilme I ~ lld spcnk lo lrcr 

Sllc tOlt' lrom One lhat I nlroot llre senrch.wns one week 

rvns ndoyrlcd. 

bcfore slrc died. Sl~e rvns very lucid 

ndoptec, I lecl a part ofm4 Ihnl dny. I snld. 'You ktrow. h1on1. 

Is I don't know my roots. ' rerr~crnbcr when you told rrrc you 

'I1 know Is ''IC surfrc Muff 

1 tvorrl~l glvc me rny ndopllon records. 

'lnve no lnrurmnllon 

Or la'Ory 

, I lropc you feel l'nr mnturc enough lo 

(lass 011 lo ~ I Y ctrlldrcn, and IJml I 

l~lcm now: she soltl, ,nctly LO, 

cnn be dcprcseln~ lo them. kid) tlrc records nrc In tlrc lrnnds of 

nlny lrcvcr hnvc good, 

I (nllorncy) Nlck O'Anrbrosio. You'll 

lnedlcnl history. As a aurse, th$ 

! 

) ,vc lo conlnct for tllem.~bollrbrs 

me." 

'nrnl's all she snld nboul the 

Frutchy'a nctual senrch lor nrlolrllon pnpcrs before she dled. 

biolo6lcnl nlolhei began 16 Years ~ ~ ~ who ~ wns l executor ~ h of ~ ller , 

wns slrortly her so& tnotlrcr's wlll, cnllcd D'Ambrosid and 

C'rrlstophcr born. As ' nskccl nhul the ndopllon pnpers. 

rcglslered nurse and the vlct1m.d 

~ ' ~ snld his ~ pnrtncr, b ~ ~ ~ l ~ 

dc~cncrstive hck condillon :c: Anlh~rny Cleri, hnd hnndlcd the 

(wtrlclr 'Icr 

bar: ndoptlorr, but added llrnt his records 

Ircredllnry)* sire wnn'ed lo prodde lrnd bccn stored in the bnscmcnt of 

nl lcnsl a mcdlcnl hlslory for hoi;i ,hc I, omce on ~~~k~~ street 

son. 

the clny ol lhe 1972 flood. Frutchy's 

fn ''lone ycnrs, 'Ier searchlor 

ndopllon rccords were destroyed. 

her blologlcnl molher has gone:!: I,, 10 yrors o~scnrchlng in 

vlrlunlly nowhere. 

r ?* Frulclry hns bccn able to llnd n few 

'Ier 'Jest Or inrormatl~ 

co11l11 Irnr~c brrn her ndopllvc p1cr:cs of informntlon tIrro~rgh 

~lul t~loy~vc provldcd lid;: conv~rsnllons wllh her adoplivc 

Wllll Illll~. -, mollrcr, rclntlvcs nntl frlcrrds. 

ller lallrer, now 82 yenrn old. According to her nmcnrlc$ birth 

wnn, lo J ,,I. dn , hut 'j ccrllllcnle, she tvns lrorr~ Nov. 17, 

cnn't. 

19.1.1, In Rulfnlo. Over the pnst two 

MA, ,lnles, rvc to gel , y~?nrs, she lrns trlccl to oblnln n tnorc 

lnlorlrrnljon from him; ~ ~ :$ ~ dclnllcd l blrlh ~ ccrllllcntc, l ~ one ~ llrnt : 

VH~ trlcs, ,d 1 cnn him : 111lglr1 hnve the rrnrne 01 the hospltnl 

m tcnrs bocnuse he cnn*l rcnlcmb9 In wlrlclr she was born. It docsn'l 

nnyllllng." , cxlsl. The nnnre ol tho lros~~llnl wns 

ller nrlopllvc molllcr hnd .;J o~nlllcd lroor tlrc orlalnnl Irlrllr 

~rl~lc~ry slrc lrnd n,jopl~on , e, cctllllcnlc. She dlcl, Irowcvcr, flnd ont 

pn[rcrs. In Incl, Frulchy snya nlre :$ thnt 

nt a:25 n.m. 

got n gll~~rlrsc of them when she :: A lirrn In naLroh3"J 

wns n lltllc glrl. 

f Frrtlcl~y, n Scorplo, snys knowltr~ (Ire 

"one day, I rcl,lcnl~er clmbl,,$ llrnc of lrlrth is very inrpartnnt. 

thc lrurcnu drnwcrs. I rcmcrnbet: 'Clrroagh Cnlholic Clrnrllica In 

rcnchlng n nhell nnd thls box lh4! nrrffnlo- nlrc wns PInccd In St. 

held ilrc ~loct~tnents. 1 rcmembcf. 

JORCI'II'~~ 110Wllnl for SIX WCeks 

lllo lolrlcr wns blue. hs I (: I~cnuse 01 Ircr low birth welglrt nrrd 

rcncll~llg lor ~l~ lrox, molllcr cnT Innlrlllly lo take formuln. The ~rtrrsc!~ 

If1 nrrd I lcll. Sl~c nrkcrl whnl I ma? ""Icr1 Ircr Ellznllcrlr. 

r~ollla I ~ llcr ~ I l wnlllcd ~ l to 6 

'1'11~: l!vltlcnce 1s skclcll~, but 

llllllers, bill r)Ie I COII~I~II~I f 

Frtrt~:lry nnys her lilolr~glcnl rrrollrcr 

do llrnt." 

I r ~rrlrl~nlrly wns lro~rr llre El~rrlrntcrr 

nllc ,llrl sny llrr ~l~rl~oglcn~ r ltnlI wtnrll to a llolnc or I~nnl~llnl 111 

rnlrllrcr's rrnrlrc wns Mnrlcllrre 111' i: I1"lfnln to llnvc hrrr cllllll. 

Mnl.lnn. Frr~lclry isn'l nrlre. . C Aflrnr she wos telcnscd I~IIIII lltc 

~:rrltc~ly~n,ll,lll~,.r lrlol~lcr, !:: I~~~cl~ilnl, slrc was frlnad In llrn lrorrrc 

~ l j ~ ctrls, l ~ dip,) ~ ill ~ 1073. l "I 

::; llrry rrn~l hllld~c~l C I-r of IIrrIIc~~lc 

A fOtv y,~lll,, llrlor 1,) llrr t~ell~t, $ AVVIIII~. Slrrrc !Ire l~l~rlo[:lcnl 111111lrt!r 

(:l,!r nllll ~rlllclly lnlkl!d ;: j rvn~tr'l slrrt- nl~o!lt ~Iv~II~ IIII lrrrr clrllrl 

rrboul lllc nrnr~~lr. 1111111~111111111, lllc CUI~~R n~rc~d LO Ire 

' a 5 

"1 lolll lll.r lllr,t rl,lw lllnt I ,vni :. IIII! 1.lrllr1's fcrrrlcr parenla. 

~ rI I r I I III 

I 1:"' 111 111f111l11q1 F~IIICI~Y'~ r~~olJr(!r 

$YIR ~rr~rlrrre c~rorr~lr 10 see my .. r :'!nitr:l ~III* Carer Iromc Iri~~~ucnlly. A 

sdr~lrll~rtr psllcrs, hly rrro(I~cr snld c:rtllaln lold Frrrlct~y llrnl Illc worrrnrr's 

WIR 1101 rtrnlt~rr CIIOIIRII. I ~IIIIW ~ IP wnu hlt~rlnnntl llrnl shc l~nd 

wn l l r c l I rlwll I~lnclc lrtrlr snd n ruddy cr~r~r~rl~-xlor~. 

tt111 1 rvorrrlc~rcrllow Ionn 1'4 hnvc I:ntrrlly 111eln111:rs my Frr~lrhy lol~lcc!~l 

(SI!C Fcw clllcn IIII Pngc. 3C) r a l t ~ llkr l 111.r rrrc~tlr~!r, ~IIIIIII lllr~y 

! clorcrllrrd ns "t11~ lllllc llnllotr i:lrl." 

! "I NI-I~ IY rrrt~tlr~r II!I Irt-1111: 1111~

~~- 

Doing n search lor a blologlcnl pnrent or n chlld 

:given up for adoption onen is like trying to solve n 

i iirge, very complicnted jigsaw puzzle. 

) . Not all the pieces fit they wny they should. and 

: 

method hr1;r,solve the nuzzle 

. .-- - -- 

--.-I 

I I ... 

!UW in the stnle in whlch the child wns surrendered newspnpers publish blrth announcements. Whlle a father hnve n right of privacy thnt I have to pny for 

for odoption. , mother who is going to relinqutsh her child prob~bly ' with my life." .., 

The blologlcnl pnrent nlso should try to obtnln n won't have her birth nnnouncement published, you If you're senrch is successful. the toughest task% 

copy of the relinquiahmenh surrender, release or should he nble to get n list of women who gave birth tnaklng contnct with the blologicnl parent or thei?ild 

:some don't fit at ,111. The task is tedlous. frustrntlng. 

tlring and dlscournging, so much so thnt mnny give up. state in whlch the ndoptlon took place. Tlrls document these women. Some sny the contact should be made by the &n 

!before thdre finished. was slmed and notnrlzed in front of witnesses. . unless 'Tell them who vou ore and what vou are doina. dolnr the scnrch, by phone or in nerson. Others nry a 

~~~ 

But the& nre melhodicnl wnys to do n search. 

f 

the coirt took actfon and the custody of the child wns nnd~nsk them if they cnn remember ky woman ilthe letter, delivered thiobgh an inte~mcdlary, is best:" 

! Success is never gunranteed, but developing n System token nwuy from the nnturnl parent, or the chlld was hospitnl when thelr child was born, who wns either This the method Kathy hrgcy of Wellsboro used 

: mnv insure that some imnortnnt detail is not abandoned. or trnnsferrcd by illeenl methods. These sinale or was aivlne - - n bnb~ 

-. UD for adootion." . . 

when she contacted her hiologicnl - mother. 

U I 

. nnmes may be helpful in ulesenrrh. 

Snkchisen snys. 

"A phone cnll cnn be very tough, unless you knaW 

Those who hnve completed senrches nnd nro 

If you hnve names of either your blologicnl pnrents nobody else is home when you call." she snvs. "In a 

i helping others do the same nay there nre two 

Nnmes nro thc key to a senrch by nn ndoptee or 

or neonle YOU think mny lend you to them. there are 

: fundamental rules: Write everything down: nnd don't 

biologlcul pnrent. Nnmes - nnd nddrcsses - will 

~etter.~ou con sny whnt yo; wnat 10 sny. YOU cnn& 

1 

: dlwnrd anyihing. Tile most unlikely clue mny be tho 

lend you to other clues much aulcker than nnv other 

two lo check - hrst the phone book and think it out nnd rewrite it as ninny times ns you ' -' 

second, city directories. ..-. 

wnnt." 

..L. 

i one thnt leads the way ton solution. 

'You get clues. you check them. If it doesn't turn 

Some slnles nllow the ndoptee lo see his ndoption When using city dlrectorles, stun wltjl the yenr you Pennv Pnrtridcc - of the Adoutton Forum nre[eWthe 

a up anything. you cross It off. If you nro not sure, you 

records or will nt lenst provldo o copy ofthe orlglnnl were born. Continue IooWng in successive yeors' phone &ll. ..,- 

".*I 

lenve it open." advises Knren Snmchisen, co.founder 

birth certificate rivinn the nnmes nnd nddressea of the dlrectorles. Thls nllows vou-to truce a oenon until he "Wlth n ictter, you don't know who gets It. Onathe 

: of Ulc Supporting Orgnniratiun for Adoptees nnd 

biologicnl parenior pbents nt the limo of the 

moves out or iho nrca. I;I the last year you were nble phone, you con nsk if the person cnn talk in priunt6) 

Parents (SOAP) in Elmirn. 'The trlck to the whole 

ndoptlon. 

to flnd the person listed. try to find the names of You con nsk the person if it's a good tlme to talWA. 

process is thnl you llnve to ellminnte every possibility. 

In New York State, all ndoptlon records nre senled. neiahbors nnd contnct them. They may know where 

. , 

When vou're flnnliv able to talk to the Derson; bi! 

Yo11 have to wmw the list down." 

Only n court order will get them opened. It is 

tt~c-person for whom you are senichln(: now lives. "concerned and scridus:' Partridge says. 'Mention .' 

- 

For an adontee dolnr the senrch. the first stop is hls 

possible. however. to obtoln a birth cenlficnte (long form) from copy the of ilurcnu the nmcnded 

Stntistlca In Albnny. Be sure vour reouest includes 

of Vltnl 

snys biologicnl Kathy mother Lnr~ey, 

nnd on has ndoptee helped who others found do her 

searches. your birth dnte. Sny you were ndopted nnd believe tile 

ndootive onrcnu. The

Adoptees are warned not to search for their roots -

- but more and more say it's worth it

~ ~ 

10,000 searchers, help each other 

'A~ this polnt," aald Urlnkos, "many 

for ndoplces, has grow from one woman pm~-l~mr.~rclif Nn~forrndfand In Or~farfo, wolnrn will cxplodr: 'hly Cotl! It's hlnry 

lo 10,000 members In just llvc ycara. them arc arrive gmlrp.~ In Tomrrfo, - shc's looklng for me, nltrr nll thrse 

.Ioon ado~lCd Ilantllfon, li'lnd~ror. Offawa, Kkhrnor. yrors! Thc birth motlirr t\'lll then bnrrage 

nl One Year of age* nought lnfnrmntlon bnrfon atldColl(llp~&, he re/.phonr . nlr wljh qucstlons nbout the hrnlth and 

about her pnrcnts whrn she 

grown* nltnrbcr~f~he ~oro,l~obranch i.r ,sJ-,JJ,~+ w"etorc of the ctriid she rrlinqaislic~i. wc 

wlth three chlldrcn 01 her own. . 

nrnmt ....,..-.... th~t ".- " nnrl mmn wall nr~~~nrrd 

v. -r-. - .- 

The Chlldrcn's Aid Soclcly turncd her 

tvllh the ans\rt6rs. \Ve thcn tlellcntcly cxaway. 

"I was furious," she rccnlled. "After long 11 will Inkc, aharc birth parents Itlore motllcr's reclings nbuut a reunall, 

who had more rlght to know nbout nic will UltlmatclY round, or lndccd wllcth- Ion." Dws she !van1 to src her rhlld? \1'1I1 

than mc? I resolved to find my blwd erthcy'll be fuulldnt all. I1 .~ embarrass ... her in nnv wnv? Afost 

~ 

famlly on my own." 

Kent Urodl~ury, by n cnml~lnotion of 111- womm - mnrd than 80 prr clnt - cx- 

Two ycors inter she wa6 ~UCCCS~U~. "nry gcnully and slicer good hlck, fhund his prcsq a dcvlrc to aeu! thrlr chilrl. 

mothcr In n ~ingle day in I'etcrboruugti. , The cnrrgctlc cnmpalgnlng of Parrnt 

I'nt Rlchordson's scnrch cxlcnrlcd ovcr all Fingers has hail an impact on the ntlopthc 

Canadlnn provlnccs wcst dl Onlnrlo tlon pracllcrs of the Children's Ald Sociand 

took almoit lour cars. She found her eties. Jan Thompson. an odoptlon stlpcrvlmother 

in 9on Franc ? sco. Mary Kernnn'a sor with the CAS of hlelro Toronto Society, 

explain& 

Parcnt Flnderq a nntlonnl orgnnimtlon 0 Parrnf f1rrrlcr.r hrarrcltcs cxlsf 61 nrrjl . I 

happy reunlon made me dccldc lo help 

other adoptees Ilnd thefr natural parenls," 

she =Id. In 1974, shc and a lew 

others formed Parent Finders. 

An Imporlent functlon of the organlzalion 

is to Instruct lls members in ways or 

I searching. An sdoptee - If he's lucky - 

wl!l start out wlUI three plcm of lnformatlon 

gleaned from hls adoptlon papers hls 

glvcn nsmc at blrlh, the name 01 hls 

mother, the clty and hospilal wh~re he 

waa barn and hlsdate of birth.- . 

Embarking on a &arch is a leap Inlo the 

unknown. The adoptee has no iden how 

s . 

I . p 

Joan Vanstone: "FuriouP" 

5 

' 

twcryear qucst took her all across Canada, 

Ireland and thc US. Finnlly, she found her 

mother - and a host 01 blood rclatlves - 

llvihg InBoston 

Parent Fintlcrs also sup lye member to . 

act as an Interrncdinry w 1 en a blrth paren1 

has becn lound and an lnlllnl contact 

has to be made. Mary Janc Brlnkos, vice 

presldcnt of Ontarlo Parcnt Flndkrs, has 

acted as an lntcrmcdlar~ on scvcral occaslons.She 

auld: "It's a delicate, emotio&lly 

chorpd sltuatlon. Wc lollow a corcfullv 

Won't barge in*. , 

Flrsl, the lnlermedlary has to make 

bvre that thc blrth parent - usually the 

mothcr - Is nlonc at thc tllnc she's leio 

phoncd so that shc can talk freely without 

embarrascment. "We don't go barging in 

on a stranger'$ life,"she mid. 

The lntermcdiory slarLs olf by enying 

she's phonlng on hchalf of I'nrcnl Findcrs 

and thcn explolns the nature 01 the orgon- 

Iwtlon. She then becomes more s eclfic. . 

She my& lor example, slie'a look r ng lor 

help In locatlng a woman whose single 

nnmc was hlory Jones, who gave blrth to 

a baby in Winnipgon Junc22,1Q38. 

, , 

'Prepared to sl~are* 

"At the very beginain~, whcn cou[~les 

apply to us lor an a~ioptlon, wc tell them 

that tltelr adopt& chlld rvlll llkcly want lo 

meet his natural pnrenls whcn he grows 

up. We lmprcss on them that they must be 

prepared to share thelr chlld wllh his 

birth lamlly - II he Inslsls on a reunlon!' 

Agaln, blrth mothers nrctvarncd that tho 

lnlnnls thcy'ro relinquishing lor adopllon 

may some day seek Uicm oul. 

Thompson also polnls out to proslreclive 

adoptlvc parents and birtb mothers Illat 

they cannot bc certaln thnt the present . 

regulations, which gunrnnlcc the sccrccy 

of adopllon llles, wlll not be changcd In 

.the luture. - 

At prcsenl, in a growlng numllcr of' 

Jurlsdlclions - Ismel, Scotland, Finland, 

South Dakota and Alabama are sonle - 

every adoplcc, at thc age 01 18, has tho . 

rlght to exnminc his adolrllcn records. 

Il the grhtving mcmbcrshlp of Parent 

Flndcrs had thclr way, Canada lvould 

hnvc similar legislnllun. As Joan \'onslonc, 

pue It: "Adoi~lees arc a mlnorlty group 

who have becn given n dirty deal. It's 

about time tllol we were treated lalrly." .

I 

Vol. 

, 1,::. . .. 

Ym. No. 25 June 23. 1982 . . . 'The Weekly Ncw~ma~ulne of tu~cnc/Sprlngneld 

,I!.?... , 

"My child's parents are simply relatives that I consider and 

care for in my life," writes Jeanne Etter. There are five million 

adopted children in America, and in growing numbers they 

and their natural parents are raising new questions about civil 

rights. What right does a child have to know about its past, do 

parents have to know about their progeny7 Dean Baker takes 

a careful look at America's newest liberation movement, and 

Jeanne Etter tells a personal story of how one family came to 

grips with a possible solution: open adoption.

.r 4 

mate for.hu and accepted; indeed, it is m- 

' 

pected at a husband's whim as his right. 

Thore women who are wtually active before 

or outside of marriage, though, and that indudes 

a majority of young women, risk severe 

punishment if they become pregnant. In 

America that punishment is adoption. 

"Most people assume that mothers who 

surrender their babies to adoption do so 

because they don't want their children," 

Carole Anderson continues. 'They assume 

that the mothers choose adoption as a good 

solution to an unwanted pregnancy or as a 

means of providing more for their children 

than they coul.' cfer. That view of adoption 

has been pro1 d by agencies and others 

who arrange adoptions for many years. Most 

birthmothers, though, did not want to surrender 

their children. Most had little choice." 

Adoption is part of the issue in the ongoing 

- 

debate over the ~+~-called "Adolescent Family 

We Bill" (S.1090. Denton and Hatch), the 

"Family Protection Act" (5.1378. Jepsen and 

Laxalt), and the forthcoming "Human Life 

Amendment" which would confer "personhood 

from the moment of conception and 

thus make abortion unconstitutional. 

5.1090 me Hatch Act) would provide 

that teenagers have contraceptives only with 

parental approval and that they be counseled 

toward adoption rather than abortion if they 

become pregnant and S.l378'(the Jepsen Act) 

would back that up, also preventing use of 

federal fun* to take to court in issues invplving 

abortion, child or spouse abuse or di. 

vorce'or to educate in ways that "do not cor. 

tribute to the American way of life as it has". 

been historically understood." 

So, Carole Anderson asserts, these threes 

pieces of legislation "attempt to impose an official 

government view of morality on wo- 

men, especially those who are most impressionable 

and least powerful because of their 

youth. They attempt to punish the 'immoral' 

by forcing them to give birth and then depriving 

them of their children. They denig- 

kte 

women by denying their &udity 

rather than encouraging responsibility. They 

attempt to establish wLen [over 211 Ad with 

whom [one's lawfully wedded spouse] people 

may acceptably experience intimate relationships. 

Passage. of this legislation would forcibly 

recruit vulnerable young women to fulfill 

the desire of adoption agencies to stay in 

business by supplying the healthy white infants 

demanded by would-be adopters ...." 

The Open Door 

The interview ends. Later the phone rings. 

Maryl is delighted. It is working,.she.says, 

right here in Eugene. Her support group right 

now is helping a birthmother who has a 

- - 

week-old baby and a three-yearold. She 

wants to 'arrange an adoption for the new 

baby but she is worried the three-year old 

will be traumatized if the new baby simply 

disappears; an open adoption with some 

visitation could eliminate the problem. A 

dosed adoption, the birthmother fears, could , 

'hurt her older child. ,. 

So Maryl called Open Door for Adoptable 

Children-the adoptive family organiwtion 

in Eugene-and the woman there said she 

will help. And Boys & Girls.Ald Society says 

it will try to help. ... 

'This is it," Maryl sar 'This i; wha< 

wanted. It's bednning to, pn here lie,' 

is all over."' 

To contact the national. cerned Un 

Birthparents call Mary1 at 4156. ', 

" 

Dean Baker is a Eugene 1 .r and an adop-. 

tivo father. . . 

-

~ 

By Jeanne Etter 

A~lo~llont~nnl Idry ink whtn a hnw- 

In.. unloved rhlld I* IAm In hv dm Llnl. 

hravtml, prvlnl 1.mly. Two aiun~al mn 

-, , Adoptees 

..r, 

Here ~oin ~ational ~reicl in - ~earcKF~atura1, parents 

, BY LINDA JOY . mothcr's identity. Tl~e scnrcl~ goid young \vovametl" who 11ccnmo prcgnnnt' Orlo jurlgc, Rolrcrt Wst~q, if Bnl- venl identifying informntion nbout becnuc lcRoi impwes may lend peoslrrul 

lo'n* \vuhin(un c,.t off, a110 mi?, for she nnd her mother na tccn.ttgcrs nnd gave up thcir cllil- timoro City Court, hna becn opening parents' or ndoptc~, Burgess snid, ple to lie nbout their identics. 

now visit on weekends onrl 11nvo be. drcn for,nrloption becnuso of tho so- records for ndoptees sincc 1974. Hc . ndding, 'An o socinl worker in [ndop. A groyp of adontees lnunchc 

: Anne ... wns fnscinntcd to lonrn tho! coma rricnh, 

. .... . . . cinl stiamn of ~IIV~IIK children out rrf obscrvcs that "tho adontco corries 'n . tianl necncies. 1 mode vow dctniled CUB in I nssnchusetta in 1976: the 

ner wclgnt ot mrtn nnd wen tj 

- 

.,.. 

.. gounde 1 YI ounces nnd thnt slro had For help during her scnrch, r\nlro wcclloc'k, Cnrol mid. 

. scvero pychologicol burden," nnd rcm~&' so thdt l\eoplc mlght idcn- orgnnizntion hna sincc grow; to 

'. : een barn ot 766 n.m. at ,the Flo.; ,had turned to tho Prince Ccawc's To rench its gonl of l~umnnizing thnt birth motl~cm mrly feel milt - for . tifv thcir relatives. 

. . 2.000 members nntionnlly. It. ~JS. 

rcnco Crittenton Homo in Wnshing. County chapter of Concerned United the ndoption proccss, CUB is light- giving up the child. . -..-._ 

. 

. ._ 

ton on Jon. 21, 1050-tho kind of Birthpnrcnts inc. (CUB), n nntinnol ing with tho courts, lcgislaturcs nnd 

.. Current:lnws 'ni~d policies mnkc 

been in Prince Ceurge'i for five 

informntion most people tnko for uupport group thnt, in Be words of 

ndoption age~~ciev for opening adop-, 

,110 hna hod only positivc cxpc.rl. aenrchcs for nduptecs ar pnrcnta dif. , 

Intcrcstcd persons mny 

' 

cnces w11cr1 hb opens court rccords 

":'; grnnted. Bcforo t11~c fncta wero rc- tho orgonizotion. "strives to rnnkc ti011 procedures. "I*:vcrynrro ha9 a 

ticult. "lt'sp degmding scorch, it's on CUB'nt 262.8884. . 

. venlcd to her, howcvcr, she hnd al- ndoption more humane for all pnrright 

to Ilia l~irth ccrtificnto," moinond 

rcunitcs ndoptces nnd thcir .,emotiotrnL scorch" Anno anid. "rho Other locnl or~nniwtions ore 

ways felt thnt her lifo bcgon when ties involved." 

tnins Snndra, CUlVs sc11rc11 coordibirth 

pnrcnts, tho judgo snid. No 'law need lo be hnn~ed." .- . . Adoptecs Seo?ch Orgnnizntlon 4n 

nntor, hersclf nn hdoptcc, who nl'ter 

odoptivo pnrcnts hnvo over cam- . . .. Fort Wnshir~gton. 283-5222; Adopt- 

* sho wna ndoptcd nt about nge 8 CUBmembcn meet mtrnthly in o ello gnvo birth put her child up for 

plnincd to him, ho nddcd. "Svo tried "rho ~ll~suli*to grown peopl0 ccs in Search in Bcthesdn. 656-8555; 

months. 

church in Now Cnrrolton to tnlk ndolrtiotr. 

my bcst to get my fellow judges ro [aenrclling for birth pnrcnb or. ond Arnericnn Adoption Congrcsa in 

'-. About 18 months ago, Anne- about experiences nnd slrnrc feclin~s Lindn Ritrgeus, n sociol worker 

do it, lrut thcy wvon't!' 110 said. :; wloptcyslttis tpwihlc,". Bllrges snide tho District, 362.2688. 

nslpd that hcr lnst tmmyut-be, nhut ndoption, snid Cnrol, 6uortli- nnd writer who is vice preuidcnt of "Mconwhilc, wniiing for t11 / lop 

undortwk n chullenyc thnt, notor of tho lml CUD chnptcr, \& the Amcricu~~ r\doptiun Congrcuq, islntures to act and tho counts to 

more nnd marc of the nntion's 5 mil. nko did not wvnnt her lnst nncnc re. snys tlrnt Inure court decisions nrc wnko i~p, pcolrlc ore senrching any CI$LATIVE INFOIIIII~TION 

lion ndoptces arc lreainnina to fncc, venlcd. She noted thnt CUB'S logo is netxlcrl u orcrctionta for oneninlr wny they can." 13uraeau snitl. 

YLI~LF GENERAL ASZIIIDLY 

, and inat'mo~filr she bas finnlly nblo ~1rorcnts do cnrc forever." . 

-,.".,.".-dY,. 

ndoptioa rccorrls. Ourrcntli, slii Adolilion "gcnciis ond mntiernity I: ?!I1 ctaiiu.ntid cuomiueu ~clredulc infor. 

IJ 

to unwind tho rod tnpo that hid her -"rho cnnjority of our rncmbcrs nro snjd, "Judges wnnt to pluy it sole." homes nre boutrl by lnw not to 

r 

rc. _.wlhii $,"!8l'frco 

Llcmud and 1nar.d 

I 

.Free Esirnolrf 

"'lfh[&norr~~~~n~~~~lla 041.3810/3006 '.101al rm C,t. 

b'eL-.a r-'-UC . TDD 0J1.3Ulll 

lopping. Prvninp. Feeding 

\ ~l&~~l@~r,co. . -1.UC'1.301U/38nh 'Coblinn~s*~m~"movol 

IC 

- - II , 

.

. 

w: 

Monday, 0ctmL4, 1982 

. .- 3. 

I Legislation ie urged to allow , I> . 

1 adopted to lind their parents .? 

Luws that prevent adnpted chll. 

dren and thelr natural parents from 

contacting each other should be 

changed, according to a leader in the 

late human relatlonshlps!' .. , 

She said the campalgn to shed llght 

on adoptlon proceedings was galnlng 

I in popularlty because of the need of. 

adopted chlldren lo know thelr roots 

I and of natural parerits to llnd out 

' what became of the chlldren they 

put up for adoptlon. "They [odopted 

chlldrenl have descrlbed It In terms 

of a blg black hole," she sald. "They 

don't feql connected to the,world the 

way the rest of us feel connected to 

I 

the world." . . i i - 

. .

,*> 

. . . . 

,. . . 

, : Tne NBW YoRK .~.T~%-~~~NDAY, APRIL 16 i93 

+ 

' 

. .;!- . . . 

, . . 

", Adoptee's Search 

,' .a . - For ., .. :,. ... Her . . ... ~erita~e. 

. . . .,-... : 

. . 

......... ,.., ......... 

e.-.:a. . Y 

5 

Cuu9uq of kaml4 M n 

.car)'. Nw Mn. Mu~meQnhM 

h.rmaally MU ne ba CUUNI 

-d.LWlmddnWmw 

Dhba~*dmtUI.ld.d 

lb.I.mUy.la.ddlUa~h.h 

.b*~llrddom~~abkmhwm 

Acmnlq w Mn. MMan43m. 

h.m.-fardh.rmaurm- 

bam~nlpr~ur 

Cn*ouronnorumdan 

.~ ~~.~~~ .~ ~~ 

~ ~ M l . Lbas: th.1 to tLlNl a Lhrpnvll 

.~~ - ~~~~. 

In her bmk Mn. Mutm6GmImm &llrmN~ t. m (o .h.W -. 1

;' 

I 

A 

Editoriol diroctor 

JOHN L. BROWN. 

Editor 

GLORIA SHEPHARD 

Circulation Monngor 

JACQUELINE LONDON 

Photographs 

The photogrnphs in this issue by 

ROBERT F. OPENSHAW 

hove no connoction with anyone 

described in tho personal 

hlstorios. 

I 

About this issue . . . 

The stories which appear in tliis special issue of Family 

Involvement are true stories of people who have given up 

a cliild for adoption. They describe how they felt at 

the time, how they feel about it now and whetlier they 

would make the same choice again. In many cases, 

they really had no choice at the time. 

The stories appeared originally ns part of a booltlet 

"Understanding the Birthparent" which Canadian Educational 

Programs produced for Concerned United 

Birthparents, Inc, of Massacliussetts, a support group 

for men and women who have surrendered children 

to adoption. In October 1976, CUB devised a format for a 

questionnaire and sent it to a11 CUB members and to 

'other birthparents known to members. In the words of 

CUB President Lee Campbell: "The formats came back, 

some with lengthy explanations, some with seve~al 

typewritten pages and somu with painstakingly handwritten 

pages to supplement the format." 

Some of the stories were shortened slightly and a few 

minor changes were made where needed to make the 

meaning clearer. Otherwise the stories have been printed 

exactly as they were written. 

. . ,. . ,, 

. . . 

, 

. 1 . . 

.i . 

. 

FAMILY INVOLVEMENT JOURNAL is publisticd by Conadian Educntionol Progrnms and is o mombor of 1110 

. 

Conodion Periodicoi Publisi~crs' Associotion. 

. 

P.O. Box 936, Publiohod 5 times o yeor Contonts copyright @ ill rights raservod. 

Station K, Ono-yoor subscription $15 If quoting ony of tliis motorini ncknowlcdgo- 

Toronto, Ont., lndivlduol copios $3 mcnt must bo glvon to author ond Fon~lly 

Cnnodo 

Involvomont. Pnrmission must bo obtoinod 

M4P 2H2 Chcquo or monoy ordor in Conadion for roproductlon of morn tl,ot~ o few 

Toi: 923-5278 funds poyoblo to Fomiiy Involvomonl. sontcncos for rovicw purposes.

Mow do 11 

love thee? 

I 

by JOHN L. BROWN, rnslt. Acew. Aom 

Foundor of tho Browndolo Movomolil 

lor Comrrlunity Based Traotmcnt 

In oll 01 man's lnhumonity to mnn tlirotrgho~~t 

tho history 01 mnnkind, tlioso dcods which ore dorio 

in ongor nnd hostility can bo rodrossod nnd donlt 

with by tho victims ond by socioty ot largo bncnuso 

you con liglit ngninst ovil, you con liglrt ngninsl 

! wrongs nnd you cat1 got support in !lint light: 

but tho inliumonity that is done in tho nnmo of 

"good", in tho nnmo of "hclp", in tlio nnmo 01 

"sorvico", tttot is tho kind 01 inliumnnity thnt 

ollors no opportunity lor rcdross. To nttnck tho 

(lo-goodors Is to olionoto yoursall ond to liglit 

ogainst tho systcm is to figlit ngninst "good 

structuro". to Iigtit ngoinst those parts of socinly 

thnt oro supposod to bo caring lor tho noods of 

pooplo. And so tho victims aro victims witliout 

rocourso, with no opportunity for ol~loining 

sympothctic support. And who: wo scc in tho lows 

:hot tiovo ollectod tho rights of childron is thnt 

if a child hod a nocd tho: extcndod beyond his 

family's cnpncity to cope with it. tho systcm 

robbod ttioso childron nnd thoir parents of tho right 

to rcdross tlio wrongs :hot woro dono in tho 

namo of "sorvico". 

This spociol edition 01 Fnmily lnvolvcmont is liliod 

with tho storios of pcoplc who hnvo sullorcd. 

not ot tlio hands 01 rnon otid wornon 01 ovil intont 

but as o restrll 01 tho systonis ond prncticos of 

pcoplo 01 good intcnt, people who want homo nl 

night fooling tho: their day's work hod boon n 

good work for mankind. And when n systcm bocomes 

clookod in tlint kind 01 aura, ttrcro 110s to bo 

liurt in tho redressing of it. Wo cnnnot tnllc 

swootly to tho pcoplo who committed tlicso 

wrongs: wc hove to tnlk stroight, wo linvo to con- 

Iron:, wo hnvo to bo brutolly lronk, wo linvo to 

put them boloro o "firing sqund" in ossoncc, lo 

redross tho wrongs thnt woro (lone. When gonorntions 

of pooplo hnvo boon liurt, to soy "I'm 

sorry" isn't onougti. Sofnobotly .has to tnko tho 

blnrrio, somcbody hns to bo ptrnisliod, or olso tho 

sickness, 1110 liypocrisy tlint wns port ol tho 

systcm conriot bo ctiatigcd; it livos on in tho 

honrls of tho victims and mnkos thorn cynical ond 

vongolul and nocdy. 

Mnn hns tho cnpncity to pnss on from gonorntion 

to gonorntion tho wrongs thot ho lios sullorod. 

wliothor they nro overt wrongs or covort wrongs. 

Anti tlioro is n wlrolo gcnorntion of pcoplo who 

hnvo sullorod from tho inhtrmonity 01 our Social 

sorvico systoms hocnusc tlioy wore poor. hocnuso 

tlroy wero hclploss, bccouso tlioy wore young, 

I>ocntrso thoy hod no odvocntos. Ix?cnusc tlicy war0 

trcntod t~njt~stly, bccnuso they worn trcntod ns 

tlrouglr they had wronged people l ~y linvlng n 

chlld. Wo now hove to cnll thoso socinl sorvico 

systoms to tnsk, wo liovo to bring tiioso injuslicos 

Into public viow. 

This issue 01 our journal is on atlompt on our part 

to sharo with our rcndors somo of tho histories 

of sorno 01 tho pooplo who hove bcon wrongod by 

our socinl sorvico systoms. Wo invito you to 

toke wtinlovor action is opproprintc in your torms to 

rodross tlieso wrongs - not for tho pooplo whoso 

storios you rood hcro, they urn nlroody helping 

tlromsolvcs, but for tho pooplo in your own 

communitlos who linvo boon victims of thoso kinds 

01 sorviccs- tlio pnronts who hnvo lost tlroir 

cliildron nnd tho cliildroi who hovo lost tholr 

rootod~ioss through ttioso "good" intentions. 

And 1110 lirst stop thot lins to bo tokon in redressing 

wrongs of this typo is to insist tho: pooplo tokc 

n position. This issuo is prcsontod to you in the 

form ol o confrontation. Wliiclr side nro you on? 

Ttioro is no ploco in this issuo lor middle grounders, 

lor rnodorotcs. Either you ore ogoinst tho system 

tlrnt wrongs pooplo or you urn lor it. You connot 

bog tlio question by snying thcro is somo good nnd 

some bnd, ctc. . . . tlioro cnnnot be "somo good" 

when one porson is wrongod, wlion one porson 

hns no rodross lor tliot wrong. 

Ono thing you cnri do, if no othor nction or 

orrtlot sooms opproprinto to yot~, is to join, or 

otl~crwisc support, orgnnizntions like Poront Finders, 

' 

Orplrnn Voyntlo or Concorriod United Bir!lipnronts. 

llrcsc orgnnizntions nro trying, it1 positivo woys, 

to rodross tl~c wrongs ontl den1 with tho rcslduol 

leolirigs tlrnt those injuslicos linvo loft in tho 

ticarts nnd minds of tho victims. 

VOLUME 9/NUMOEIl 6

$Now Englnnd - Boelon Sundnv Qloba. Novembe, 12. 1978 

I 

I 

' 

, Ikar Ilrth: 

nmpcmtion, no search group will iwk 

Otrr son came home fmnr a pny for your birth mothcr. 

clr~rrrk as a lonl. I was o~rttagml add C.U.B. is nut a searcl~ group, btlt 

lave hinr a long lcrttrrr alwuf lieltrcr, can put you in tot~clt with osc. It also 

%et my hucl~and lvxs just amtr,d. cart get you a tcenagc adnptcc pen al. 

'%cave tlrr kilt alone. lfc .said ltc only with whom you can share ycrur P .eelhrda 

Teu.Ixcm. Ikglad heknot high ings, if your parcnts don t olycct. 

on pot." \Yell, I'd alnrnn mrhm he C.U.B. alr~ 

provi~ln birth parcnt lm 

lvcre hiph on nrarijtmna. Ile muld et pals, to hclp you undcrnand why 

killcd. or kill .mmclmly driving f rke sommnc may give up a haby, which is 

that. M uncle was an almholir, so'l oficn n~ist~ndcntocxl as a rc~cction. 

kn0w.t r te danbm. 

C.U.B. is primarily an organin- 

-Mrs. F.R.K. tion tn ltclp b~rth parcnts cope with 

~h~~ you know [hat a few tltcir own feelings, but it also helps 

krg is no difircnt than quiva. ac'fnptivc parents and acloptca - all 

lent in whisky or gin ~ ~ ~ d the ~ partim i ~ to kthis i emotionally ~ ~ dynatccnagcn 

is at a dangerously 

siftlation. 

"n'OnT high evcl, and one problem is that 

some parcnu are amused instad of 

alarn~rd. 

lkar Ucth: 

Alcohol h;s known con ucnm OK, here pis. I like a guy, bur he 

tliat arc wotsc for our hcalt 3 than toW nre he only .ivantcd to LIC nry 

marijuana, but that d ors not mean pot fiend. A mupk of nrootl~s ago IVC 

is wrtl!uut dangcn. A marijuana h ~gh tvmr Tor a ridc in his car, and he rnacle 

also can afTcct driving ahility. It may rcal love ronte. Now he rakn nre our 

calla hormonal changex, and cnntrilv likc rhirr every .'iat~rday night, bat 

rliar iq if. I never se 6rm duri, rlrc 

P 

~rmk. I like hirn a lor. What s the 

answer? 

utc to l~rnnchicis. It is mpkially harmful 

in aFhing one's crit~al jud mcnt. 

a function adolmnts an ill a # ord to 

mcs un. 

lkturm ancl prmcltinl; don't realntuch. 

An incrcaslnfi nutnl~cr 

cipccially atltlctn, joggcrs. 

who carc a lot about their 

I~calth, are choosing ahstincnrr. Ilowever. 

the prmures on rcenagcrs to try 

lmr and not arc hcavv and vour son 

rrra not dc able to resist. .% it's more 

rm r istic to o~unxl ntodcration. 'Teach 

hirn tltc c&ts of tltcsc drugs, and 

,how to ua tl~cm as safcly.and raponsibly 

as pible. 

Lkr Ucth: 

I am 13 and n~/optcd. Is there any 

darn whcre I mtrld lind our lvherc rnv 

>turhcr ;is, or wlrcrc she li1.rs2 I knoi, 

hcr rtnrrte anel have n clmrilttion. I 

clurr? Ivmr 11) i~trcrfirc in hcr lifi hut 

ant ct~rio~rs to krro~v lvlrat her finlily is 

likc nncl what she is cloing. 

- Sltirlcy 

Write C.U.n., llnx 573, hfilhrtl, 

' hlaw.. 01757. Ilcli,re you fil:?rch. you 

IS~ ,get tltc an~lcrstanding of your 

n~lnl~trvc parcnts. 'I'hcy n u msily take 

this as a rcjcctiol~ rather than t11c normal 

ttml to itnd~:ntnncl your own 

Irackgro~rncl, and C.U.D. an hclp uu 

explain your ncds. Witlro~~t r 1 rir 

- Scarclrin ' 

The answer irr, he's taking yotr for 

a ridc. You arc searching for lovc, hut 

arc getting only scn. Imausc that is all 

he is warclting for. You'rc worth too 

tntrtlt to let yoursclf I= und. Find a 

guy who wants something difrcrcnt. 

L)nr Beth: 

\Vlry nn'r bop ampi younger 

girls as king rnaturd My fiicnc!? nncl 

I ntct snrtte 16-ycaral[/ Impis who Iikcd 

us and call~d as cute, rtntrl they fi~rnd 

olrt irr ivrre 12. Thcn the aid ~ve 

were too yourtp Ihcs it ma16 nrartcr? 

- I>is~rinrr~~arrd Apinst in llrisrol 

Ya. If yo11 wcrc in your ZOs, it 

wuolcln't, but at 12. four yam is a big 

R3P. 

Wltnt's tltc rttslt to grow up? 

'There arc lots of neat things yo11 can 

cln nt I Z tliat you can't do at 30, but 

will wislt you cot~ld. Rclnx and acccpt 

your real agc - it's a nicc oncl 

.Sen11 l~~tfers to: 

Ask nrfh, lloston Glolw, 

Iln~too, Al/l 02107. 

Ask Ilercth a1.w appm 

on lircscla T arrcl ?%urscfa)s 

in thc did; Oloh-.

National Headquartem: P.O. Box 573, Milford, Massachusetts 01757 

B-&& ~m-9+9 

'., 

ed&2/

[f. 

CUB 

md resolve qucrl(ons Ihmt wen lclt un 

snrwered lor yesn. Mrs. Campbell 

rays Ih.1 lor U yean. Tom - all. 

chael's lrthfr - hadn't even koowm he 

had lalhercd Mlchrrl. 

Allhou~h Mrs. Campbell Iesrntd Ih. 

whcrerbauu of Mlchrcl when he wu 

13. she dld nolhln# for thm yssn. PI. 

n~llY. a teunlos was arranged when a 

blend ollcrcd lo contact Mlrhsel's lam. 

IIY. When Vlcy linallr met. hh first 

words lo her ern. "Hello again." she 

1.w.. . -. 

"Il's&en two yram.lster trlncs the 

Iht rneetlnll ma I alltl thlnk 11's wan. 

dcrnus." Mn. Campbell aayr. "I feet 

ruphorlc. Sa much 01 me hnd dl&. I 

stand to rtmphy. In a way I 1-1 ~u 

Il.Yeamld la 8crntna to ymw up. I1 

can happen. Tam and I - hls blm. 

Parent. - wrr h1s Mends now, The aIlcrnattvo'ls 

nol lo know who he Is rod 

whllhsr swsy slowly." 

Cunceraed UalW ulrtbp.nt,u 

New Ilampshlrr: 

Susan 1)nugrlt 

P.O. Uox M 

Mcrrlmack, N.11. o~ou 

rwa. "It's lllulona dcctrlnut. You need 

tlms lo muko lhrl drclslnn. Old a11I. 

1ud.s dle hard. n~vy any lhc laws arc 

lhele lo roleel el iha blrlh11.rcnI. l'rrr 

lccllnrt 11 domcalllnu - Ict ~ I C protect 

myacll:' 

!~tlll)( OIC Intt luur wars. CllD ha. 

D rec~tvd mmuro tllulr 15.W lrllcrr. 

Itnll 01 vhlelt were from blnhl~urunu. 

Lrrs. C.ln8pb~ll rays vrlly a small lrcv 

ecnlayc ol lhow lcllcrr lndlcslcd nny 

11e)iIr~ the irwi "I bIrII1purml8 to re 

a#,n rruny sm?~. 

CIIII I.-. 

M.srachu3elu: 

lser~ln~ M~sa~ch~~relt~. Vcrmunl. 

nhdo Ialsnd and ~ l~lnol 

Palrlcla Murphy 

P.O. uoa 31x1 

Cambrldae. Mots.. UZL38

.* 

Searching for birthparents: For some, it's a matter of. identity 

.. 

lave Johnson was only I4 when pannu. Lo Lnow hlmmU. 

I 

dld dkauasa IaWg anj aeUoo.'' pamnU, but que11IW whrlhrr cowls 

Mrs. Dark. ha# telb pmfe~slonal and 

quertlonr about hls IdenUty For Slav*. lhe anaxera came two 

'have a duty (omleaW ~~OPUOU record 

S began lo telher him. At an days after hh I*h blnhdmy, whrn he 

hey'n IadopUve parenu) my par Perl0n.l qumllflcallons 1 dlscuas 

rn". J- ~b. o( LnlormaUon. %me wlU .a that when enu.'. Sbve say. '-1 covld nev. adoptrra and blrlhpamnu. 

anoptee, h. longed lo know Ihe Iacu found UI blrlhmDUler. Dul flral. h. had 

about Na krllago. lo know hls blrth- had lo convhcm Na ado~Uva Darenu 

lhal hlr march was .om* 

Ullnl he hmd Lo do. 

"we cendnty did m( 

encourasa hlm (lo 

search)." 8aYl Yarlha 

FOOD &'SPIRITS - 

1 WIN ST. SOYERSWORTH..N.H. 

THE 

$4.95 

CHOICE 

CHICKEN CACCIATORE 

BROILED HADDOCK 

WISHRIMP SAUCE 

BAKED STUFFED PORK CHOPS 

A# 

-. 

.bow- - 

a0n.d 

-- wllh #al*d, 

- 

pot. L r-0. 

- 

Ll~.Enl.rlalnm.nl 

rrvtay4 S~lunday 

TIM GURSHIN 

O.~lla 1l:m 

II.WII*OU~Y~ (IUYT,# 4 lot w*. urn, .ru.w.r 

Houma 

-I*- v ............. 1.- 

.................. w. 

Johnaon, hla adopllv* 

mochsr. "I dldn'l mw Nm 

. 

Inla. 

fmm polo# 

bul I 

lo 

dldn't 

lhe meel. 

drlr. 

hlm. Ha foomd hlr or. 

rld.1. We played lhe lhln~ 

dom and hoped ha mud 

ao w lo aomsthlns eh. 

We dldn'l dlrcounga hlm 

End of Season 

Clearance Sale 

w ~~b~~ mo(h.r and , adwlaea reach 18. mcorda prlalnhs cop1 anywe elm hsldcs lhmm am my 

ol how (hey de.~t th. bSua Lo (hrlr adopUon ahodd ba owned. bul parenu. In my eara I waa glad I waa 

adopmn and lh. march lor lhelr bWp DO(bcfom. 

pul up for adoyllon. She (bir(hmMhrr1 

0.,-.",. -- --- I. -. 

erolahed 11 lo me. She'. no1 a mother 

Shve wag aUU youn. 

wh. Lb. wc ahen say lhe sya~am pm(.~u blrtb. lo ma, but aha's mom tmwrunt lhan-; 

L 

Aa an lnlenl rha war rum demd for 

adopUon, only Lo become pregnant al 

18, and. In lurn. surrender her lnlrr 

for adopllon. She 1s bolh adoplea and 

blrthpamnl. Allhough It Look lh. U. 

X 

esmld Mn. Darke elghl yean to flmd 

er blrlhvamnh. she m*lnlalna mla- 

Uoruhlps loday wllh telh her bl* 

, parenu wd her chUd. 

"I! you never know where you emme 

fmm, how can you feel good abou 

~ouraell?" she ask#. 

W 

lllough exlcnslva research 'had been . 

comvleud prlur to hlr blnhkayl. Mrs. : 

Darka sly8 lha avenge search taka 

lhree to nlns monlha and hmrUmrs 

Iongar. Although Orphan Voyare 

doern'l mnks Its search. mclhods 

known. It la obvlou~ many wels pm 

*Ids cho organlrallon wllh cbnl1denll.l 

lnformnllon the courts deny. Mrs. 

Darkc alao says Orphan Voyage's pol- 

Icy pmhlbllr aduplee mcmbera from 

uarchlnu lor lhelr blrlhparcnh whlt. . 

they are mlnora. lllrlhmolhrra are also 

pmhlhllcd lmm ac.rehln# vnlll blr . 

chlldren have reached adulthad. 

"We try and keep a Ild an It (their 

rearch melhodrl .a much ar;w8alble." 

IaYl Mra. Dorke. ''I bellcv( anybody 

can IM found. Some 11r.mrcher) ob 

vlourlv takc much longer lhhn uthcn. 

* voyago 

I'lcasa lurn lo the next p)ge. 

I

Page 18 

Fwd* W hrma. Da, N.H. 

Gallery 

rnrorr E-. ~rnhr 1% 1m 

Until the, last fav years, adoption .was both an 

end and a beginning. For the biological mother of 

a child, adoption mmt fodeithg ha right to 

how what that child wuld become in exchange 

, for the ranoval of the s&ma sodefy I& on ha 

for an unwed pregnancy. For the child and the 

adoptive pam~ts, the adoption was the start of a 

new and sawre life as a fdy. But that's all 

changing now, as adopted cNdren mow and more 

begin to search for the? "birthpamts,'' and . 

thase parents, in turn, try to fiid he dzildrcn 

they m d d . 

771e stories below by Democrat Staff Wder 

Steve d'oliveira mamine the laws and amments 

sunomding the release of information to both 

adopted children and birthparen&. i'lnley also detail 

the story of a woman and the organization she has 

formed to help birthmothas and the story of an 

adopted c13d and his search for lh biological 

mother. 

The laws make information on adoptions difficult to obtain I 

"8MpmmU am t*wraw 

\ I 

ilflcult mm 11 U for ~Rhpsmu lo ad blelVrs( Nmw f?ampmhln'm adoptloo 

'7hera'a been #bm. 

hlle @lforU are under wmy lo duo prammm o( 1." bl Mhl ref- mdopLnm pUUon lhe lo 

chmnae mtalo mtalutcm cow name of lhs pmbau cowi DoMala 

orm mall on -h 

Iar dlllrnmnur. 

lo peUUon," 

mdcal 

W cernlnlt cloned adoptlon re amym ~e cnmp*ll. me pnldent mQ tb. awnel-' and I& courtl- 81- Ludl~- lo b.v* • 1.r lntcr- 

- 

pdlUma Illled 

bl blrlhmnlhenl. bul lhoY'r0 not getblrthp.rrnu 

llas any WmaUon." uym Adhur 

CO~l. I.*. ne,rly found.r ot Cmcemd Unlled ,,& utude loweld8 tho rl~hb 

and d a of *"Led 10 d!ff.?~mni *.~m." sara Sumn ~~h~~~ ~ , lor ~ m 

RotJC'lle. a -e*.m 0ffl~l.l who 

. Poye. mrdlnalor of Cmlhollc cbaritlem lhalr blhpannU, , desb wllh adopUons. ::It'! not Ukely 

~mpaut~le for bldh~*r*nt. ((he n.1~- pamu (an ston *low). A ahnl ad- 'd~~v~r~~~D"',':,"$Iar In Nsr dir~r~m o( ~atern~tr and AdopUon lheb ant"Or, .bout ldml(ty, court would do that. 

ral ~.rcntr ot ndapted chlldnnl to ob vocmto 01 prorielon* h as bl0d.l ~ d nmmp,,,m w 

uncmd[~m., lo bntcn. 8ha marm (ha pmb1.m ollh Rokr#e mays when adop(ce8 pcllllon 

tnln InlormsUon abaut a chlld they've Uon Act cnulna for mom o m mordm. 

lvrrcndertd through lhr -. bcU raym amc lhs rr adoploom, rho must show "amd caws'. law Ir LhSl 11 docaa't ~mrMs for any 

lha courla. the pr~sldlnK Judca Usually 

dJd 

~UUOIIIII~ ~n. FO,I mdopurm asenelem 

mtmte Mr. fipadmmt 

FOY~. Yn. d C,Welfiro. S ~ P olflc1.l ~ ~ U muesy tit. .doptlnn .lenh.lhal hmn- 

-pmnnu bclude a rh~o 

2 ~ ~~~','~~.","."~~,"I~~~~~ 

a pmrUcular pmba~e udlomiw. 

rmy d d t l n m l btrih cerl~lcatm ga$d"N,y;2,"; 'bout wkad~ .~.~m~m pmbmts rollrt judln had mver heard of an instance ~n I 

wlh Calhoue cbmriUu mro mltlg 10 rra~re the present ~tt~,. which me c o u mrant* ~ 1nform.llon lo 

mhlnt 'denUf Infor / 

e~m ~n which an ndopuon wan haw and "ple*ofWmwmder dDcumenL An olf,rl.l 

dled. ~n romc cnaes, dsnylna lhc blrtb .'we am drnply foUodw tb..lar." ~ ~ ~ ~ h . ~ t . ~ 

par+nll' riuhl to pcllllon lhc court.. adapUon mtsncr offlclal marm. 1udtrm In the state's 10 pmbstr mum 

dled lha mmlter InlUaUr to mvlev the 

requrml ind forward Ila rrcomrnenda. 

Uon lo the court. 

Deocndlna on ih* care. nober e 

maym. lh. Judpa uuaUr rlU lollor (fa 

rrcommendaUon 01 lhe asoncy. 

"It mU dcprndm on lh* remw~~, (ha 

adop(rr wsnu lh* InIormaUon, ho 

Robert. mays on0 problem Imclnt 

mdoplnm mearchlnm for lhelr mdopuon 

record1 I1 the fact U~mt lhs atmls db 

shy# mordr aIlcr 30 Yearn. Even If - 

an sdnPUon anency hmmbeld on lo lhe 

1Uem. 11 In unllkely lhll the Informalla) 

contalnnl In tham - whlch mmy be ;D 

Yearn old or older - la eurrrnL 

.dopum .teacy, ma,a tI;at Urn. but meUna dam bclreen.Lha a bldhmolher 

two im"Pm ha* b n met. 

maUon about her rumnderdchlld. 

.. -. 1 - 

I . . ... _.. . .__. . _ . 

_ _ _. 

. . . .

- - - -. - - - . . . - -. 

- . 

t~n~lt~~la~~~lirtg nmlnl 1,) hell, 

~1i~lI8l~.llrnl O(CICOIIIC ~uill. hl;nny 

~~trnts. a~~~,ttliitp, 113 C.wlt181rlll "ale 

,I* ll~,,ln~ll,nl 1," tl,? ex~,r,icn,c ,,I 

s ~ ~ r ~ ~ a rldlal n ~ lthat m tlwy i ~ ~ ale ~ 

litrrally ttnal~lr I## II;I\C nnnlltcr IB I-." 

AIMII hlt Knlrlr. 17. is unr tnotltrr 

at ll,E;r. wll~lllr~i~l~l 1,) I~I~II,, Ill* Irr1 

tlau~h~er, n~tt~ Jean, tlc$pi~c hcr 

n~nll!?t'$ ~li%.p~~tnval. Shorlly ailm 

giving l~irtl~ at 15, hltKcnrl? ~ lr~~p~ml 

nut rrl lhr rigltllt grndr, rl,plinl lor 

w,-Ilarr Ir11cli1, anal ,n",nl illlt> lac, 

uwn aiurt~nrn~. 

"hly tsrrlhm tl~cl(r~~l~l il w~t111~1 1111r1 

111y I1111llr" sly< lhr ~ll~irl girl nr sllc 

I,IP~B~ICI r~ lrllrr in lhr Il.E:1. allicr. 

"bt!~ I knew I wanlnl tl~r lr,l~y." 

hlcKntrir is 110~ un l,rlln 1111111( 

with 11r.r n~otltrr a11t1 rrlln 1111 IICI 

l>,a~ltn to Inbyril wllh llrlly Jran 

wltilc rltr rr~rkr inu~rttitl~~ 21 (:.Il.n. 

Sllc uyr her IR.IPI ~OAI 

1% 11) 

work as n wcrrlsry nllrr nhc ronllllrtrs 

hrr trainin& 

Inrtnlirc 

, . 

by Linda Cclllman . . 

, , 

., I 

... , 

:. i' . ' 

j 

.:. r 

She's willing to*,;., 

.' . '; 

.. . 

B. E 

on , young , girls 

S 

Itawwn. Cttn ,lxll nnrr loll n attong 

doirc to mil 

\lrilirst.~rn. Fivc 

i;,lvin~ 

an,I lislcnin,, lccl,,li,~t,n. 

Rai~llnllt, rho nlu, lcarltrr a#lulls 

a1 1hc I),,vN AIIIIII lmrllillg Ctntn. 

laas found that the 61111 arc marc 

likcly to pick 18p lltc skills ll,rut ntlullr 

Imulc "lhry are willing a) cltasgr 

tllcir lrltnvlr~r ~luirkn and clo rnurc 

talkin& atmtrt their caprricnms.' 

'.n~c reading is wn~rti~nn 

dillicult." Gloria Narrirl arlmits. "nut 

I've lound it lntcrcsting h u x it's 

shown nlr how lo llrtcn lo k,t~at 

~mplc my behind ~Lrir wtrrch." 

Dnpilr C,mpl~ll's mnlidmcc 

in t11c girl^ obililies to land good jobs 

ulnn mn~plctios nl tltrir tralnisg. 

she 133s trrminntd lwo rtttdotlr over 

lltc last lrw rnul~thr lmuw 01 pmr 

atlcndasrc. 

"Ur~tllar attm~ksre and n 

rnlrlnlillmrtll lo try.'' ale lrrn ruln 

Ca,,,plxll inrislr on who~ wulkillg 

with the girls. Sllc says rvnl thuv 

who w~te i~nablc to mrc~ thwr 

ro~r~itctncnts "ltar1tc4 a littlr ~IOIC 

alx,llt whal ir and what is not 

al~l~rol~rir~c In the wo~kirrg world." 

(:~~~I~IwII's goal 10, ~IW n.E:r. 

ptofirarrt ir lo rx ,.lnd It lo olllcr 

c.u.0. Imcs. altrlo~agl~ shr adenits it 

could lakc a long time. 

"l'ln always lhinking III~ lor cvny 

girl I work wltl~, thrw n11151 lr

Don 

9 . 

t cheat tl~c child 

By Susnn IClibnt~t~ll 

"I woul~l I181vr jt1y111lly 

krpt tny ilnugl~lrr, IIIII I ~ litl 

1111~ 1 \11 IIP~ ID il~ 1111) . Ol~cr n \vntllntI IIIII-s ilia- 

11111 l.llilrllt.ll.1l 

rilusr! 111 n lorrr~i. Ililrly cldr lrr ,!lvr hirlll la lhc9 

111. l1'l.I~ Illill In ~~r~~viclc ll~r 111ot11cr wit11 

tnarriitgr. IIINI~IIII I 

I tl~r-s~. cl~ildrt,~~ ;IIV 

\VIIII~I,I~, b:~lry, sl~c nlusl dci~l will1 

I ~ I IIIIIRIIIIP, ! IBII~I n 

I,IIIYIII,II 

ns dill Ilro l ~ 111 r III~' tl~r rntis~ ;~gorrlrlng dcci. 

or ~I, IP I,~~I,~III~,I slStlst~ nl rn~nlnrl, ~II~IW~II~ 

C~lllllllillll~~~I. ;I sillli~lit~~~ 

iinl~y. ill1 1111. tl~il~gs 111r 111y slnn: III r,niac IIIT IIII~IY nr 

lh~* vhilfl is 111 ll~c wnlrt., 

. di~ugi~lcr IIIIII I 

II>~II~IIIN \II rl~i'ld ;IIIUSC 1.;111 

r11111ti IIII~ 

plncc It lor ndoplit~ll. 111 

slnlilc SI,II~IIR sllc. 1111~1 

glvr Ill+r: srrtlrity. 1\vlr p111. : 

lll~l~,~ll,~l, 

pnsl yenrs, 

l~fol~(*rl lor, IIIII felt she 

IS~ WIIIIIL'II 

cwlr. a sli~l~le. III~~II~ IIIIIIII-. I c i ~ st~rli~l t wcl. NIW li~vrc ;IIV II~!:II ln:lr- 1~1111IlI 11111 l11l1~i,ll!, 

i l1a1l 111~. lo\Y. Ill &:ivr, ll~ll' li~te ngcncics plncrd IIII*I~ I '11111 ll:l~lrlg 1.1111- A Irn. :aI!l'llrirs nllrrw 111,: 

I 

lore ~IIS nu1 PIIIIII~~." 

cl~ilclrr~~ lor n~ln~tit!~ Ill. clrm lor ~ttinpll#~n. II~CIIIISP. 11111lhcr lo wrllc- a IWJI~> fur 

TIII-SV 1nsiul1ll11l \v~rr~ls ; crusr llrcy irll 111111 Illis trim? siltnr cltnnglt~g nnrlnl the ci1iI1i. ~vlli~ll the ;l,l#l~l. 

V~IIII~ Iran1 ;&n IIII~~I~I~ IIIIIIII. ! wns tl~r brsl clccisiu~l lor tr&!nds nre c~~l~lr~~~li~ti~ry, 

llvt! pi~rrnl$ can use in l:~tt~< 

or ~II(I II;IS pIn#,rii 11rr rl~il~i : tl~rtnscl\~cs and II~clr 11;~- They sny n l1rrso11 sl~~iul~l yl!llrs il 1l1c.y lccl It crlll il" 

fur ;I~III~IIUII. She is IC 01 ; birs. Nnw Ill? s1l11atIo11 lln~ 

choorc! lo ba a p;ircnl, not I~clplul ~IIPII their rl~lltl 

8tl1c nliltly I~III~IS~III~S 

nl drns~lcnlly chnngccl. IIC one sln111ly bcmus~! 01 nsks al~out hls/hcr first 1r;nr- 

.. 

vuung IVUIPI wlllr r;~rl~ i 

thc art 01 reprurlucllr~n. CIllT. 

; ~ c stelrs: i T r . is Ycl, no inn1lc.r hl~w tile sf!- 

year rnusl fort* prul)lcn~~~s 111 

'I~IC~ 

UI~~II~II~! qklnl~* fro111 

nn unwsntnl prcgn;lnry I 

prrssurc now lor nn llllwrd cinl trcnlls lnnv chnnct.. IIlc I ilnwed nllvlhr*r ISTI lllc 

mnthcr rn rnlsc her irnl~y. 

, undcriy lng rl*nsnn n 1n111hrr~ 

;111tl IlIllSt IIll!ll rllolls~ 

West Cuasl. Is p;~rl nf n Irl- 

(lic nvoids tllc cu~~~mollly 

;I# giving bivllr nnd 

plnccs n el~lld fur i~do~~tlun llrr sllr wrl~lc to the! Ilnrcllls 

usrn cxprcsslnn "krrp n remains thr si~mc: it is 

rnising ll~c I~nby, ~il;~elng 

whrr n~io~~trd l~cr bnl~y. Sltc 

it ! bnlry" whicl~ Iic lrcls iln. wl~nt she lrcls is llcsl lor 

::lnr ncl~~plinn, or. III~ sn~nc, 

vl~~srs l~y s:~ylng: "I know 

plies hnvlng n pt~sscssi~lll. trcr child's lutur~. 

1I1i1t 

.'. uborIi1111. 

Ihrrn~rgl~ ~IIII tt~y 

si~lcc rl~llclrcn nrc pcliplc~ 

. The unwl.cl p ~ r i1t11 , not pusscssiot1s.1 SoeiclY 

F'ur otllcr wolnrn W~I nrr? tlilughlcr, now ynur rl;lul!il- 

I.' ' 

. .csl~rrii~lly 

.. thr unwrcl 11iol11- nnw lcl'ls lI1n1 thc wulniltl 

(lrrgnnnt, nrloplir~n is not Icr. will know u1 iny frrlthr 

right dccisinn. l'1ic.y IIICS. Thrnugll Inving ht'r 

rr. lur it is sllc who is visib- wllo 1181s n l)nby husl ncccsl 

cl~nuse lo raisc their bnbirs. you will know hnw lo nn- 

'.ly prt*g111111t 111r ill1 IIII! IIIC rrsponsibilily lo rnisc 

sutlngicnl rnothrr dors nnt 

I11.r knnw tl~al was 

a1111 s~~rirty IIIIS not III:I~(~ 

just dlsol~pcnr 1ro111 tI~c 

nrwrr rrjcclc~l In ntlynl~e's 

j Ilcr 111sk simplrr. Acrurtli~lg 

secrnr. hlany njicrrrics givc! 

I1vi1r1 - Ii111t she was lruly 

' 118 CIIII Ili~grn, ;I prn- 

her hasic Lnl~~r~tintion nl~ot~t 

loved." 

#ram sl~rrii~list in s~~rvirrs 

Il~c ndoplivc pnrunls, suclr 

III IIII~VP~ porrnls 111 hli11111~- 

as nge, ocrupntlon, ollirr SIS:I I

.-... r ."wm,"-r.! 

mw, N " "xm"~-c,.,,m.!~.-.m,"s--~-~ 

York health course. Page 3 Girls hoop preview. Page. 17 

Faragi trial continues. Page 3 Employees brainstorming. Page 22 

> 2 

2SC 

'Opy Weakly Carrlar Weekly Molor 

Hawtatand Homa oellversd 'I3'' Roula o ~ Serving I ~ Southeastern ~ ~ ~ New ~ ~ Hampshire and Southern Maine 

. Pages 52 

Tnrt.u 

.---, -- 

Geo. J. Foster & Co., Inc., Publishers DOVER, N.H., THURSDAY EVENING, DECEMBER 9, 1982 ESTABLISHED 1873 109 Year-No. 148 

4. treated 

after Exeter 

gas leak 

By '\!llY >llLI,ER 

Exelcr llureau Chlel 

EXETER - Four residents of a Main Street 

rooming house were taken to ExeterHospital this 

week and Lrealed for inhalation of gas fumes that 

appnrently leaked from a furnace pipe in their 

building. 

Tho condition of Gertrude Bayce, 84, one of the 

four Llncoln Housc residents treated, changed 

from "criUcnl" lo "fair" this morning. She was 

admitted to the hospital Tucsda~. 

The other three residents of the 75 Hain St. 

building, Alan Rowe. 54, Donald Cuflmctte. 38. 

and Wendel Narcotic. 17, were all trealcd 

Wednesday for gas inhainlion and released. 

Aftcr .~..-~ local flre offlciols answered a call 

Wednesday morning regarding a possible gas 

leak, they discovered in the bosement ul the 

buildlng thal the flue to the gas furnace was 

dlsconnecled. 

She finds her son after 20 years 

Geraldine Berry, 38, of Rochester (left) holds back the tears 

as she speaks about her 19-year-old son, Kenneth Turner, plcturod 

here at 3 years old (right). Mrs. Berry was forced to glve 

the chlld Up for adoptlon when he was born, she sold, and 

spent 20 years trying to locate hlrn.. 

By LAURA FERCUSON 

Democrnl Slalf Wrlkr 

ROCIiESTER - The best present Cernldlnc 

Derry could get thls year would be to hold her 

son. 

Twcnly years ago. the 38-yenr6ld Rochester 

woman gave up her son for adoption and since 

then has lived a life she describes as one of cmp- 

Uness. For 20 years she has pleaded with a 

Mahc attorney !o hclp her flnd whal she bellcved 

was a daughter who she says was wrested 

from her at childbirth. The answer was always 

thal she was fighting a pointless battle. 

Bul last week after rccelvfng hclp from a 

3lninc volunleer social service agency, she 

found her child, a son in Knnsns City. $10. She 

and Kennolh Turner. now a .:rown young innn 

with a wlfc who Is expecting a child, arc drcnm- 

In8 of a reunion, but neither can afford a trip 

right now. 

"I'd like to go see my son." Mrs. Berry said. 

silUng in her Chcstnul Slrccl kitchen with her 

husband Robert. "It :vould be the best Chrisimas 

prcsent I could uver have." 

d. Berry 

Please turn lo Paqc 16 . 

Search can be 

By LAURA FERGUSON 

Democrat Stall SVriter 

For mosl ndoplccs and their parents, lhe 

search for a natural parent or adoptec means 

legal and emotlonnl slruggles. 

Only !our states have open adoption records. 

amonc then1 Alabama, Alaska and Pcnnsylvania. 

But In New Bnmpshlrc, as in most states. 

adoption laws glvo lhc probate judge lhe option 

of opcninq adoption records and the success of a 

Jenrch can ilinge on a judge's discrctlon. 

"It depends on the Judge," said Mary Ann 

Nensc, a member of Concerned United Adulls of 

Dover. nn adoption search support group. "And 

~lnfoi-lunately, they are no1 too supportive. I 

have one friend who bad to peUUon three times. 

"11's 3 terribly dehumanizing process," she 

r? Search 

Please turn to I'ane 16

~~. 

~ ...... 

Page 16 

Forlsr'r Dallr Damocnl, Dol-r, N.H. 

rhundry Evanlng, D~ambar B, IW 

Berrv . 

Krnllclll, whcn rcnchrd by pIlonC, 

snld. "I would llkc lo scc brr. I have 

nlw~iyn wondrrcd wllo shc wns." 

"I'd llkc lo build IP cnollfill nloncy 

lo RO lhcrc and slnylhcr~ 

conlaclcd n vol~~ntccr worklng In 

Knrlsns Clly Arl.~ll Arloplccr, who 

rcncl~cd Kinnrlk nnfl Ills pnrcnls. 

Kcnnclh cnlled Mrs. llcrry Ikc. 1. 

"They were tnlklng hn tllrec 

phoncr lo mc." hlrs, ncrry snld. "I 

dlrln'l know whal lo rny. llc'r crylnR 

and I'm crvlna and I loltl hlnr I lovcd 

..-.. . . .. --~,. Ills and llinl i'd brcn crvlnn . .. all tho 

Opal Turncr. nrc cqunlly ns dcllghl. llmc (wllhoul hlm)." 

ed lhnl Kcnncth and hls lnolhcr hnvc Kcnnclh's parcnlr conllrmcd l$c 

found cnch oll~cr. , 

pnlr'a cxcllcmcnl, Ills fnlhcr snld. I 

"I lhlnk 11's the mosl lcrrlflc lhlng lhoughl hc (Kcnnclt~) wns gcllna lo 

thnl's cvcr hnppcncd," hlrs. Tllrncr star1 WnlklnR (lo Ncw Ilnmpslllrc) 

,snld. "I couldn'l bcllcvc Il. We II~VC rlghl lhcrc." 

an ndoplcd dn~lghlcr nr~d wc would 

love llcr lo llnd hcr molhcr loo." 

Tllc rcunlon wo~rlrl mnrk en end lo 

Alrs, ncrry's search lor her bnby 

wllh Lhc hclp of Orphan Voyage, n 

Alnlnc vol~lnlccr agency. Alrs. Ilcrry 

Icnrnc~l about the ngcnry nholll lhrcc 

wcrks ngo rhcn she drcldcd lo wrllc 

lo tho hlalne Dcparlmcnt of lhlmnn 

ncsollrccs lo lrnck down lhc chlld 

she gave blrlh to In nlddclord 20 

ycnrs ngo. Thc slnlc burcnu rclcrrcd 

hcr lo Jackle 0111, a volunlcer Involvcd 

In Orphan Voyngc, one of 150 

nnllonwldc adopllon search ngcncIcS. 

wllh her llrsl husbnnd, hlm. IJcrry 

"nccausc 01 hcr pnrllcl~lnr cnsc I rnld ahc lrlcd unsucccsal~rlly lo aollc. 

scnl hcr lo lhc York Colrnly probate 

court." said Mrs. CIII. Thcrc thc 

Jurlgc lold Mrs. Dcrry hc could only 

opcn the bocks I1 ahc could prcscnt 

s~~lllclenl mcdlcal hlslory lhal woald 

bc vnluable to the wcll.bclng of her 

chlld. 

Mrs. Bcrq relurncd to llochcatcr, 

whcrc shc rccclvcd !vrIIlCn docu. 

mcnls lrom her doclor llstlng hcr 

mcdlcnl hlslory, Incll~dlng bclng 

born wllh one kldncy, hyprrlcnalon, 

cpllcpsy and asthma. On hcr ncxl 

vlnll to courl, the Judge opcncd lhc 

books nnd gavc her coplcs ol lhc 

adopllon papers. For Mrs. ncrry. 

who had been lcd lo bcllcvc ahc had 

glvcn blrlh lo a d8UgI1lCr. the Pnlrcrs 

ucrc n llttlc hard la bcllcve nl flrat. 

"Whcn lhc Judge lold hcr ahc hod a 

son, hcr lrcc lllrncd Ulrcc dlllcrcnl 

colors," ssld Robert Dcrry, wlll~ a 

laugh. "I didn't know I1 shc wollld 

punch hlm or fall 011 hcr chffir." 

Mrs. Dcrry rccallcd. Ilc sold 

'Well you've got a dnughlcr nnmcd 

Kcnnclhl' I slarlcd lo laugh, and 11- 

nnlly I snapped out 01 It." 

Thc rcalltallon lhal shc hnd locnlcd 

hcr son sunk In allor Mrs. Clll 

Searclr 

nddcd. "It's so sccrcllvc 

nnd nonacnslcnl!' 

Armed wlll~ mcdlcnl rccorda lhnt 

Indlcnlc hcrcdllbry hcnllh problems 

which could nllccl ll~clr ollsprlng, 

Lowcvcr, mmc pnrcnls, llkc Ccrnldlnc 

ncrry. can gnln ncccas lo ndop 

llon pnpcra. 

Tllerc are more lhnn 1,200 llcrcdllnry 

dlacascs and n knowlcd~e ol 

mcdlcnl hlslory - n tendency lownrd 

hcnrl dlscasc or cnnccr lor lnnlnncc 

- Is n ncccssary pnrl 01 prcvcnllvc 

hcnllh care. Jacklc Clll 01 Ornlrnn 

Voyngc, nn.arloptlon support sc'nrch 

group In hlalne, snld. 

"No maltcr how wondrrh~l your 

nhopllvc parcnls nrc, lhcy cnn'l glvc 

you cvcrylhlng lhnt you nccd lo llvc 

wllh," Mrs. Clll aald. 

Ilul prrhrpa cvcn morc lmpurlnnt 

- nnd more dllllc~~ll to prove In 

court -1s the dcrp ncctl 01 ndoplccs 

lo knuw who lhry nrc and lor i~nrcnls 

lo corlncct wllh n pnrl of lllclr llvca 

lhcy lcel has bccn losl. aald hlrs. 

Clll. 

"Solncllmrs ndoplcrs nrc rrlrrrcd 

lo nn "Supcrmnn" I~ccnasc Suprrninn 

cnlnc Iron1 nn~~lhcr plnacl," 

Mrs. Gill raid. "Thcy don't lccl con. 

lncl. Thry nrc llkc lrrca rII RrowlnR 

hlrs, ncrry'n scnrcl~ bcRnn whcn 

ahc wns 18.ycarsald nnd llvlng In 

nlddcford, Alalnc. lrn, ncrry nnld 

shc wanlcd lo kccp her hnby, but 

upon cnlcrlng lhc Lospllnl, was [old 

she had lo give up her bnhy nnd wns 

lorccd lo slgn lhc rclcnsc pnpcra. 

Wllcn stlo rclurncd homc, she lollnd 

(PC basslncl and crlb shc had purchased 

lor hrr bnby gone. 

"For somc reason, my nlolhcr look 

my chlld and sold It," Mrs. Dcrry 

sald. 

Throughoul lhc ncxl20 ycnrs, dur- 

Ing whlch shc moved lo I'orlsmoulll 

Il Ihc ald 01 a Mnlnc allorncy nnd 

Judge to llnd hcr chlld, but lhnl the 

Judge rcluscd lo grant hcr nny hclp. 

The scnrch, howevcr, sualnlncd hcr 

lhroughoul chronlc hcnllh problcmn. 

"Thnl's lhc only lhlllg I'd hccn llv. 

Ing on," she $114. "I wnsn'l golng lo 

glvc up rnlll J could sce hlm." 

Today Mra. ncrry's lllc hns bccn 

chnngcd by llndlng ICcnnclh. 

"I lcll llkc my body was comlng 

back togclhcr," ahc snld, "lhnl I hnd 

llfc rgaln. I rlways lcll llkc somc. 

lhlng was rnlsalng. Now I hnvc 

hnna." .... -. 

S I*JI grollps. huwcvcr, prnvl~lc 

lhe nrnrrl~rr ullh lllr cn~ollo~lnl 811 1 

port nnnl prrctlrnl g~lldnncc tltrollgfi: 

IIII~ ll~cir srnrch - nrnrchrn lhnl nrc 

ollrll lnhc up lu M ycnra. In lhc UIII~. 

cd Slnlrs. nboul 150 urannlrnllans. 

mnsl ...~.-~ 01 vhlrh 

~ 

I~FIOIIQ .,... lo llm 

~ 

Attwrl. 

rnn A~lnpllon C~~ngrrss, provldc a nn. 

lln~lnl nrlwork rclcrrnl srslrnl. 

In I)ovrr, Conccrerd ~nllcd A1111lls 

ollcrs guldnncc fur s~'lnl~rrs na wrll 

na n 11nlIonal IICWRII~IIC~ 

wllll n ~cn. 

pnl acrvlcc lhnl lcts adr~plrca Ilclp 

cnrh olllrr lrncc n gnrrlll or part-sls 

lrarc n loal chlld. 'l'l~~.rr Is nlan ... n ro. .- 

Klslry 11111 mcnil~rra lrlny Ire llal os 

Shc wants lo ace her son, but bc. 

cause shc and hcr husbnnd arc llvlng 

on llcrry'a dlaablllly Income 01 $070 a 

monlh. lhev don't hsvc tho moncv 

lor lhclrlp.- 

"I Just wan1 lo spcnd a lllllc llmc 

wllh hlm (Kennclh) shc snld. 

Kcnnclh snld hc Is lrylng lo save 

money for the lrlp, be1 was rccrnlly 

lald off lrom hls Job at r plnsllc Inctory. 

"I'd llke lo KO ace my son," Mrs. 

Dcrry anld, "I1 anybody has any Iallh 

or lccllng lo hclp pay my way. I1 

would bc nlee la Jaal touch hlm." 

lo help lhcm mnlch lllcmsclvcs lo 

olhcr ndoplccs or pnrcnls scnrchlng 

lor lhclr rwlr. 

In hlnsancl~usclls, Thc Adopllen 

Conncctlon in I'cnlmdy provldcs sappurl 

scrvlccs lor people throu~l~oal 

Ncw El~glnnd. In hlnlnc. Orphnn 

Voyn c hns cosduclcd almul 2W 

scnrctcs since 1876 WIUI a 8.9.pcrcenl 

aucccss rnlc. 

"I'm dlscovcrlng lhnl blrlhmoll~cra 

nrc vcry hnppy lo be foand." snld 

Mrs. CIII. "31151 lhc Inct lhnl Ihcy 

know lhnl pcraon Is nllvc ond wcll Is 

llkc gclllng a grcnl wclghl llllcd oll 

ll~cm."

. , 

.- . .- - 

, , 

, 

,. , 

. , 

llon. 

f. blrlhpnrenb cnn llle a pctltlon wllh Dthem n~lle Ulnt the mental drnln 

&rid Umt." 

. -

.. . . . 

. :.. 

. . . 

.. . . 

;,,>. , .:,: . .,.. ri. . .- .. , 

The Patriot Ledger, Sat., JuIy 30,197T . . , .:' :,Page 11 

, . :.. . . 

-_.._. 2. 

~irth~arents Seek New 'Policies . , , , 

The committee hearing had already been 

held this year whenadopthe parents gat 

\cind of legislation, Iiied by birthparents, 

which would open up adoption procedures. 

House BHI 5200 would require adoption 

agencies to accept updated information from 

birthparents and to act as intermediaries in 

renewed contacts with adoptive parent?,. The 

agencies would .have to,notify the adoptive 

parents it the birthparent no longer wanted to 

nmnin anonymous, and was willing to be 

contacted by the adoptive parents. 

Tbe adoptive parcnts could refuse the 

mnlact. but they .would have to be made 

aware the offer exisled 

The amount of opposition from adoptive 

parents was "incredible," according to one 

mmmittee aide. 

Legislators' phones were '"ringing off the 

hook," and the intense feelings the adoptive 

p;~rents felt were effectively communicated. 

A favorable Judiciary Committee report was 

sidetracked. The bill is being held indefinite. 

ly for "changes!' 

Birthparents believe that behind the opmsition 

Ues an unfounded Scar that thcy are 

trying to "snatch" the children baa to "get 

their foot in the dour." 

Adoptlvo parcnts my it ls mum come 

pIlulccl Ulan UI1 

,Birthparents insist they have no wish to 

tival or threaten the relationship with the 

adoptive parcnts. "It is well-known that adop 

tive parents are the real or true parents in the 

most meaningful sense:' Susan Darke, boa 

an adoptee and a birthparent, says. "In more 

than 150 reunions. I have never yet seen an 

adoptee shift affections." she adds. 

Fine, the adoptive parents say, hut what 

the birthparent hasn't been able, like Susan 

has, lo wrve out a new IUe for herself, with a 

happy fimily situation? Would sl~e be so 

nonthreateningthen? They contend they have 

other fears which are also realistic. 

"The.vcry thing which allows adoptive 

parents to view the child as their own and Lo 

provide the banding and the security is tbe 

promise of non-Interrupted parenting," one 

ndoptive mother said. 

The whole issue Is being handled too 

quickly, and needs more study, she added 

What do birthparents want'! 

"A woman can't even say, 'This will cause 

me pain and I'd like a letter once a year 

lclllng me how tile child is doing'." Lee' 

Campbell says. "The adoption system is a 

closed door intellectuaUy, an open door em* 

tionally, and it leaves the birthparcnls with 

no sounding board, and a great need to know 

:how the child is doing." 

Susan Darke Imagines m eiw her ady 

son someday: . 

"I'd want !o know if he understood why 1 

mvc him up. I want him to know that h e w 

wanted, that he was loved. I was still as 

proud. as happy to have him - I'd just given' 

birth. I'd want to know that I made the right 

decision. I feel warmly towards my son's 

adoptive parents, thatwe've both done something 

the othercouldn't, and that we've made 

a good life possible." 

Adoptive parents contend that thcy signed 

a contnct under one system, and that it is 

unfair to change It retroactively. Lee 

Campbell replies: "Love isn't hound by 

society's rules. A piece of paper doesn't 

oblitente feelings. Give both parents the 

channels for communication, and tha fears 

will disapvem. 

"I think Uley have just never considered 

anotber alternative. They have never been 

encouraged to consider that the child has, 

another set of paren&..They can learn to. 

integrate itas Uley go through their Uves,and' 

then it is no big deaf," she argues. . 

. Tbeonc thingboth birthpaantsand adop 

tiPe parents seem lojlgae on is tbat adopttvo 

parents need more information at the rime of 

'adootinn.

Sentinel article 

needs cl;arifyi,ng , 

To Tire Sentinel: 

On belloil of bi~thparcnls, 

plensc accept niy deep-felt 

npprccinlion lor helping to 

expose our pligllt to the 

public. The article on unwed 

mothers 'and adoption 

reform (Thursday, June 15) 

was n cvell-rrriltcn picqc 

wlrich henmed light into 

mnny previous dark nnd 

hlddcn corners; I lrope it 

results in some new understandine. 

., 

There were three ileins I 

would like to clarify, 

however. Firslly, lirough it 

may be imporIan1 only lo me 

personally. my birthson was 

surrcrrdcretl 15 yenrs ago, 

not 16. Srcondly, CUB has 

450 lnelnbcrs (and growing 

daily), no1 250. Anti, to give 

rny adoption ngency its jrrst 

due as well as lo prorrtole 

llopc nnlong olircr bir- 

Iliparents, it is compelling lo 

cxparrd upon my orvn pcrsonnl 

cflorls wilbin "the 

system." 

Although my agency did 

nltho~rgh this gameplaying 

provoked me to ascertain my : 

birthson's well.bcing on my ' 

own, the agency did .' 

ultimately honor my request 

of them. They did nolily his 

adoptive parents of my ongoing 

concern, and my , 

willingness to provide any . 

inlormotion they or he ex- , 

pressed an interest in. 

.Uecaase of tills contact.. I 

have been nble lo hope and 

trust that his oarenLs would 

act as sclfles~1y as f have 

nlways tried to do and would 

tap the channel of inorm 

moll on mode nvailable to ; 

them, should questions arise. 

It is nn imporlent point lo 

make thnt, in some circumstances, 

through 

nitruistic perseverance, it is 

possible to work through the 

syslem. Again, thank you for 

liclping us to continue our 

eflorls in this direelion by 

publislring inlor~nntion , on 

this iitt1e:known and lnrgely 

~rlisunrlcrslood subject. 

LI~E 11. CA~IPBELI, 

17rcsident 

bnlk nrrd play n game of toss- Concerned United 

back rvith nlc lor I I I'nrents. lnc. 

fruslrnting nionlli~, and hlilford, Rlass. 

I 

,

IUESDAY, AUGUST 8,1978 

BURLINGTON CCUNN [N.J.) TIMES 

: PAGE 5 

Natural parents group seeks to open adoption files 

. . 

(Edl@rla mlc: Sundry's for adoption. "Coum ma be when she tried to nnd the Yes, there mlght be lnsecurlty on CUB Is also flghllng fur a plctures of the chlld ln the blnh 

BLT carded r story about a ttylng to protect us, but tiey've daughter she'd had when she the part of adoptlve parents who continual flow of data Into the mother, keeping her uptodale 

McrcbrntvUle woman who. 23 never asked us what we want." was 15 and a hlgh school am open Mles as a threat to . agency flle from both ends of the on the chlld'a pmgr=s." 

yun later, found the daughter What they want, what sophomore. . 

*' 

closeness wllh thelr adopted chlld, adopUon process: fnformrtlon Concerned United 

\ rk bad glven up for adoption. members of a natlon.wlde For the parent who glves up a Ms. Musser acknowledges. about medlcal records, changes Blrtbparents, founded two years 

'Re followtng story, whlch r.9 organizaUon ralled Concernrd child, CUB believes, the openlng "but I feel them is enough love to of address, scholastlc or artlstlc ago ln Massachussetts, mnts 

dalmed Lo accompany Unlted Blrthparenu want, is a of court records would mean the go around. When a mother gives up achlevements on the part of both locally at the Fre6 Publlc 

Spnday'r ullcle. was "humanizallon of the adopuon ellmlnatlon of feellngs of doubt, ber chlld. she does it for the good of the child and the natural - Llbrnry of Philadelphia - the 

. . 

Inadverlenlly fell out.) process," hIs. Mussersays. guilt nnd agony that often the chlld -she isn't about to go parents. next meeUn is Oct. 1 -and can 

She and the 35 membe'rs of 

follow. Into!he child's famlly and break It "Maybe one llme a year they be reacbed (amugh CUB. Box 

By FREDDA SACMROW 

UP. could open the flles, so If the 1056. Merchrntvllle, 08109. 

Offie ECPSlof the PennsylvanlaSouth Jersey "The blrthpnrent has no wish ln chlld wnnts to, he could flnd out "We are not a search group, 

Of the three am of the chapter of CUB have set as thelr rival or threaten the relatlonshlp What about the woman who about bh past," Ms. Mwser allbough hsllof tho members 

idop~on 

parents, chlld, adoptlve parents adoptlon riles when Lhe chlldren arent." the orl(anlullon'n bull1 n new llfe - might she he. children)," Sandra Musser says. 

-It's the natural or birth involved reach the age of 18. P llerature reads. It b known well fenrful that the appearance of a A long.range goal - by her "Any searchlug that ir done h 

parents whosuffer the most Thls would allow access to that adoptive parents are the 'real' grown son or daughter 20 years admlsslon not in the foreseeable done on a personal bash. 

triangk - natural flrst goal the openlng of all (of the chUd) with the adopllve gave up her child years ago and says. , are actlvely swehlng (for their . 

unpubllclzed burden, a womnn lnformntlon bj adoptee ant1 and 'true' parents in the later wlll deslmy that new llfe? future- Is.the crentlon oi "open "We do offer support for the 

who's been through it believes. natural parents - and would put meaningful sense. It's possible, says Sandra , adopllons." by whlch a forgotlen person- the 

"I thlnk the majority of an end to the typeof bltter "They want only to eventually Musser- who told her husband . biological mother would have blrthparent- and arc trylng to 

people see blrih mothers 1s search Sandra hfusser herself know Lhe end of the story, and lhls about her baby shortly after Input In the selecUon of the Influence IegttlrUon. We also 

Ime. Immoralpeopie."says had to under(ako:For more than h surel a right. . . It should be they met - but a survey of wple who wlll rake her chlld. want lo work more closely with 

S.ndra Musserof Merehanrvllle. a year, hfs. M~rrser-by then rememrxred that the blrlhparent natural parents conducted A variation on thls th~me Is 

agencles that handle adoptions 

wbo one year ago completed a 'the mother ol four other rellnqulshed all right8 as a parent. , recently showed that 82 percent belng tried In WaahlngtonState, -we want the girl who's 

successful search for the chlld.ren - fnced judiclal but never gave up the baslc rights , of them would welcome sucb a Ms. Musser says; where "en pregnant lo know what cholces 

daughter she bad surrendered obstacles and agency silence of a human being." reunlon. sdoptlve father is sendlng are available to her." 

- . . . - . -

:Ivfocner, 

.. . aaugncer:.Tzna,eacn 

. . . other, 24 - 

.. . 

.:. cumtlaad ribp P~~.A.I) 

And lhat'l whm her search lor lba 

hall.bm&en'and hall.slrlen. Wendy 

lold her moUler she henrll war four 

monlhn prrmanl. Shm aaked about 

Sand '8 phplcal characlrrlsUrr. aald 

~br'da~np wcmdemd rby rba waa 

so Uuuer short. told cllrr her.) laUlcr.wa8 short, Ma. 

They promlrad lo ercban#~ PIC. 

lura. 

7br facrwltce meetlag imk plrm 

Cm mwIh8 laler. 81 S.ndra Murrrr'a 

bblence. She W b l hrr daughter m 

m8lemlrroulPI. hked here hlnbday 

cake. and took wllh ber a lrlend - 

brnrll an adoplea - lor moral rup 

P"~Llrlore #can It's mlnd&gIbp she o nrd the when dmr you're It war 

aboullo M your own llcah and blmd 

whom you'd Mwrwm.'. rhe maUU 

'Ibe two mmrn W)rd aaolber lour 

hours lbal nlahl. A .mod mwUn# 

IClrY*DIw IoUawrd 8 week Ialrr, at wblcb XI. 

Bandy Mnuerro* ou the m ~wrtpl for her boot . Yuwr InYDducad Wemly lo br hall. 

. ., &tan, whowem !land 11. 

' 

USIDK I whd uc auppi~td 4 11 had become an obms~on - I Ihso. afwr a few more mvma. 

N.Uh .hlchSbaWiao( ~ V ~ ~ l - " I I lbou#htabauI lleWeI7d.Y." 

Ilona by lelrphow. Wandy told her 

mllbt m u It uo lor lbe matl anon" So MI. Muurr 1.1 d m and corn. blolodcal molhrr lb8l rbm "wmtrd (o 

-Sandra Muur war able io learn &ed letter to the d1ulhl.r she bad cool the Iel8doNYp." and (ha Mas 

brdaulblrflr name. 

~~Y~ISCIII. . . 

-.Onie l rot that. I louod her lo 

"mar Wendy.'. 

,& ,: 

aha mu. '7b.1'8 

mmd u.gl,ad. I 

lbo namr 01 a dauahter I have al.1~8 

her IarrardU addms hom the Poll 

Olnm. 

~~~.'p"~n~l$m~~,"p"P~Dunl 

!'I war naIIy.ucltrd. ~rthhume. .. she lold her dauad~sr lhal rhr 

er.1 

would b In Maryland In two wsrh 

Us. Yurrc lbm'lumed lo Lba couldlhryrellogeUler? 

AdopwuLlberty Uorrmml Arwclr- Ihm~howallcd. 

tlon (ALMA). a nallonnds oramnlu When ah@ finally pol a mpowe - 

Uon mblch help8 rdoplm over la and IOdlp Ialer-It wa8 imm her daugh. 

aaturrl parenla of sumndrrrd chll irfs adopUvo molhrr. llrr hwhand, 

dmwer1II~~mleu~b MIU. was very much agalnrt the meellnr, 

lbr woman wrote and Wendy had 

mhed l=llnar abool lh* wholelhlng. 

She needed tlme lo Wnk. 

Mr. Yuasrr walled a week, lhen 

rml. Wendy a smnd later. Sbe was 

lorry rhm hlda'l heard from hsr 

dauahler, rba I d her. She dlda'l want 

lo aatrr her. but she felt she drrerved 

lo bear ~endy'a drclrl~ from har 

om IlP.. 

On Yay 28. Im.,ar I:o In lhc 

mvenlna. lbr Dhona ran1 lo the Xurlrr 

hams. -.... . . 

"la Sudy there?" 

'%lo LISandy.'. 

'mlr 11 Wendy." 

I years late;

. .. ..- . . . -.. .. . . 

--' '-. 

.. 

34 THE DENVER POST Frl..Sopt.E, 1978 

1. 

Dy NAXCY DURXIIART 

! Denver Post Club Edltor 

I She gave blrth to a spn. One week later she gave him 

up for ndoplion. 

She was I7 yearsold and unmarricd. 

The mother. Joyce Villanueva. Is a birthparent and 

member of a national oqnnimtion, Concerned United 

Blrthparcnts Inc.. which Is formlng a Colorado chapter. 

"At first. It was very traumallc to say I had an illeglumate 

child." Air. Villanucva said. "Jlany think your 

feelings stop when )uu sign the release papers for,adoptlon. 

They don't. Adoptive parenla don't realize that the 

blrthparents' feelings go on after the child is gone. If 

only adopllve and natural parents could communicate 

with each alher. it would help." 

hls. Villanueva and Concerned United Blrlhparenls 

feel lhat adoption records sliould be open for inspcetlon 

by adopted children as soon as thcy reach the age of 18. 

"It's scary to me that my chlld uun't want lo find 

me, that he li-on't care about me or wlll thlnk that 1 

dldn't care ahut him." she said. 

The organlwtion isn't a search group. It exists for ihe 

support of blrll~parents and as an activist group for 

each other. 

"We YebirUlpnrentsl are a forgoltcn scgmcnt of mcl. 

cty," hls. Villanueva said. "hlaybe we made a mistake 

in society's eyes, but we shouldn't be shamed fores*er.". 

j Birthparents are males and fcmalcs who, for on0 

' reason or another, had to glve up thclr children. Some 

were unmarried, others married and unable to cope 

\pith parenting. Same had the apUon of marrying and 

choso lo give up the chlld instead. Others had no other 

option. 

"For most of us. Ihere was o lot 01 shame at the time 

we gave up our kids." >Is. Vilianueva said. "That is difficult 

to overcome. Therc still arc some members at 

that dUficult slap. Olhers arc able to open up and need 

reople to back them up. Many are 'closet' birth. 

parints." 

In hls. Vilfanueva's case. her parents and sislcr knew 

nboul her pregnancy. "Thcy told my lo.ycar~ld brothcr 

that I had lo be l~ospilalizcd for a concussion I had 

receivcd several months bclore," she said. "It \VaSn'l 

until years later that I lold him tl~c truth. lie was 

greatly rclievcd. He had been worricd about me. 

"The faiher of my chlld rvns ~villlng to marry me, but 

I didn't want to get marricd just because 1 was prep 

nnnt." 11s. Villanuevn mid. "I was informcd oI no op 

lions other than adoption. In fact. the psychologist at 

the home where I stayed during my pregnancy pushcd 

Caters to Forgotten Segment of Society 

"A forgotton rsgmsnt of ~ocioty." 

laward adoption." 

&Is. Vilianucva said she had no means of support for 

herself and her chlld. "It !\uuld hare been me. the baby 

nnd nolhlng else." she said. 

"Once I signed the rclcnsc papers for ndoptlon, I was 

sunwsed la walk nwav and start a new life." she said. 

"dut, no onc tnikcd to me nbout it. Therc ibcrc nn ball 

reactions from anyonc, just nn rcactiann at nil. It's bar. 

r~ble hav~ng 1110 knowledge t h sou ~ have a chii~l and no 

OIIC to talk io abuut it." 

hls. Vlllnnucva morricd at aqe 19. "Jlost \sumcn lcll 

tilcir llusbands when they have had an illi?~ilimatc 

child." she said. "I told my husband long before rvc 

were married. lie never llcld it up to me. But, we didn't 

discuss It afler 1 lold hlm. In fact, I probably wouldn't 

be discussing it now if rve wcrc still married. I would 

worry about tile effect it would have on him." 

hls. Villanucva advocates telling children of o sibling 

rdinquished for adoption. Her chlldren are lour and sixyea^ 

old 

"I cviii lell them about thelr 12year-old brother when 

the subject comes up," she wid. "I think thc age 

depends on the chlld. The subject may mme up sooner 

in mv family because ol my lnvolvemcnt with Blrth. 

pareits." - 

She said sibllngs normally want to know the adopted 

chlld. "They naturally arc mlous about hlm." she mid. 

"They don't have the alUludE of 'How could you do ' 

this?' Thcy realize that thc birthparent has been a good 

parcnl Lo them and they don't hold It against him. 

"Evcryonc thinks of adopted parcnts as wonderful 

people who have taken in o child that no we wants:' 

JL. Villanucvo said. "And thcy ollen blame the chlld's 

background tor his shortcomings. 

"The adopted child's life won't be Nincd by Inowing 

111s birthparcnts," she mtlnued. "So chlld should feel 

lhal he was glven away!' 

Ms. Vlllanueva said Concerned United Birthparents 

mcmbershlp Is mnfidenllai. Informallon is available 

fmm her at 7736M. 

L1. A. -. -.

~ ~ 

section 

rirts/Entertainn~cnt 

Ya. C". 

10. IWt 

. . . . . . . . - . .. . . . . . - 

( A Mother Unknown to Her Child 

Wtnly yrrn 8x0. Jesn Adrml had a 

chlld. Eleven monlbs rco. lor lha llrrt 

umc. abs old u)mmoe ahnul IL 

"It wu 20 yean IPO but I rrmcmbcr it 

u lbouph 11 wu )nterday. It was ID Sew 

York. at I Salvallon Army horpllal - 

Bmlh Mcmorlll Yrdltrl Cenlrr In Flub. 

In& N.Y. I had the baby there." 

I1 U an old slow but. 101 Adrml. 

hap the most LmplNnt rtaw ol brr E: 

NOW she 1db It. 

' "After I had the haby. I urr able lo 

bold her for rlx dry#. to fotd md play 

I wtbA% then I handed her over lo an 

ado tlve paron! and saw llba adoptlvs 

mol!erl walk doun r brU md clac the 

I 

A-. - 

adop~lon. "I uas not ssti any rouo~~. 

104.' the uw c\m lbauab she uu -1rm. 

bll dtsoandenl" tbounhoul tbr elwrl. 

Nltr her cblld had dcpanrd and that 

, 

dmr 11 the end a1 the botn#laI hrllvrv 

nu r14. .~b& imL me oirr lo 1 ubli 

and #hey t8ul me to Iron1 of lhu conlncl:' 

Y\I .-,~ Adam Shr ...- vurrr ,-~ ...~., hn nslm tuo let 

awn lo show lhr IrDqlh a1 lbt plpr;he 

wu ahnut to ncn. 

Ibu wu lht llnl tuna I had m n lhU 

mnlracL I WLI In learn 1 muldn 1 read 

1L And I nrvn qol r mtty. I rtnned It rod 

they Itd me to the dmr, and !bat wu 11 

"I hud the buby 

fur six doys. Tllen 

I 11unded her over 

~ IUI 

I adoptive 

rno~her. That wus 

20 y~:ors ago, nnd 

I hoven'l seen 

her since . . .' 

Adam1 flrn cold brr slow lo her pror' 

In DrCrmbcr of IU( Ymr. IIe advutd ber 

10 1111 ber huband md 14. year. old 

drvablrr llrr lamly rrrnvtd lbc arrs 

I adoplloi Nalunl plrrnu should "hive I 

, votm In the farmmq 01 rdopllon laws and 

lllh luch IOIlot rtIw11)e. 1 Yondlred 

mll~tes." ' ~n Adrml. 

why I b d 001 done Ihu van Imoer.'lba 

They n& Ihs marl neelecled In lhc ' 

adoptloo trtraclr" a1 adopter. adoptive 

: olrenu and "bIrlhnrreau ihs srn. She 

I0 St." 

nna 

mucun. 

Muse the law allo~1 such r~bWtlve 

Much 01 CUVr maem rrnlrn arnund Inttrpmuaon. u).r Suwor Cowt.Judpe 

Iln prermlor - nr making 11 dllllcult Norman Acklcy. "lhe lark of unllormlly 

- lor blnbnrrenu to PZ~D ~IO~M~IOII 

or us* -- cnuslnl soma conron .~ ~. rod .. so Iba 

~~ 

.""v.... 

Ibc Ilrnncnl nbwllon' lo lhr rrlerra 

01 lb1l l~formllloo "mmn from lne rdop 

11-t parcow =)a ,+dam. nut mat oo~e. 

OROANfZER JCAN ?DAM1 

A 'Birthpotnn 

hbo~ltbelr chll4 01 bava found llut 1br 

chlld Mmtllmn hu a lrrnlzc dnlra lo 

bow ubo huor her oltunl pnnuon. 

"Il hnnn lhr rdopwand lhe a3oPllvr 

ateots closer tocelbtr 11 nlbr parenlll 

1 elp tba adoplw llnd tbtv bmhwrenu" 

bays Adaml. "Nolnlnp nut good comer 

.."".- ,mm ,I 

"Ulrthparcnlt don't want to llka 

Iadoplrnl away from the!, rdoptlve wr. 

enu."bl~ Adrml. 

Wlrblnclon rlttr law rcqulres that 

adopllon lllss be aaalrd rod may he 

opmd only by order of the cauru when 

~gmdcaw"brbown. 

ludqcr not tocrlher and dw!?td thcra 

lbould hwm. uuform!ty. . . A Frmlly 

Law LlOmmIllre. or whlth AcUey U r hw 

mu. wucrrald. 

"The plUcY usk ~dopld L 10 ~rnrtl. 

ado tlve pmnU ru- (4 It 

{or mare loformatlon abut CUB or 

WAIL., wtr 

to the aamclm 

CU& 1.0. Doz SIX Nonherw SUuDs 

SEallle(*IIP h rrll W'Bl 

WAllld. 303 Suutb 43rd Sl.. Reaton. 

-1 Or CIU pMIlQ 

The UrnlnlulIoM hold lolnt mretlnlr 

on lho Imt sod lhVd W&wy of urn 

month 11 1 pm rt toa O l d Slcnmrol 

C1IumhWI iT10ldAve. NL2+#1Ue.

A-4 The Gloucester County Tlmes, Woodbury. N J. Sunday, Novembcr16,1P70 

By KEYIN COKULEZ 

OllheTl!anSW 

MERCHANTVILLE .- Sandy 

Musser belongs ta an organlwUon 

whoso policy does not mciion scnr 

chu by bWhnarcnlJ lo fInd tho 

I chl14rcnlhey g&c up for adoption. But 

'hut dldn't stop her from tumlng 

dclcctlve md tndring down the duu 

whlch brought her Lncc lo face with tho 

dnughler shc gave up 24 ycnrs ogr 

Mrs. Musser, a born-again 

CMstlnn. c ~ her m Ialth sustnlncd 

hcrin dl the ycm before she bccnmc 

M nrmtcur slculh. "I always had 

hope.' she sald. "I always belleve4 

thnt one day I wouldflndrny daughter. 

And14id." 

Ihn Lalc of hcr quest k told In her 

book, "I Would Have Senrched' 

Former." The Ulc har a double 

menning, referring. to lhe search for 

hcr&uphtcr nnd lh? r-lrch !sr pcnca 

of mlnd whlch led her lo God Sbc 

managed tocomplclc both. 

'Tho reason for both scorches began 

In 19Huhenshe wasn 15-yca~1d:llgh 

schwl sophomore. "I wru dating thu 

fellow, oh, shce I war 13," shc 

rccnlied. "Then." she shrugged, "lhc 

Ineviloblehappencd" 

Mn. hflrrrer sold that the most 

difficult (hlng nt the Urnc of her 

pregnancy wns the reJecUon she faced 

by her peen. "IWs was back in the 

'Mi md clubs werc the big thing. You 

how, glrk dressing up tbc m e and 

hnvlng lackc@ with lhe clubnames on 

them. It meant o lor hovfngn club curd 

saying that you were n membm in 

good mndlng. 

".UI the girls in my clubgot together 

~dvotedmeout oftheclub." shcacnt 

on. "Tbt wns the mosl Lrnumnlic 

lhlngformeat the Umc." 

Mn. AIumer mllcd thnt at lhc 

Umc, she was 3ndous Lo get it over 

niU~.wd~ccoula get backto hcr peers. 

"I sow it (the bby) ns Just m interfercnce." 

Arcs. &fusser hod thc baby in JUI~ 

nnd was able lo return la hlgh school 

nnd graduate. Sbe'sald thcm ww 

never any doubt thcn about giving up 

the baby for adoption, which war 

handled privately. 

It wmn't unlll months blcr that thc 

rcnllly of havinr! lhe chlld hit her. "I 

rediicd that I h d given birth la o 

cud I probably wouldn't benblc toscc 

forthcrest ofmy lUe,"shcrecallcd. 

On thc cNd's first blrlhday, she 

IrIncmbC~ buying n birthday card 

a7d sending it to her child lhrough the 

mWstcr who had acted ar thc Ln- 

1cnncdl;lty in the adoption. "I dld that 

for thefirst flvc bl~U~~ys,"shcsal~ 

"Blrlhdays are rcally down Umes 

for binhparcnts. It's nlmost Uke n 

mourning perlod," cxplnJncd Aln. 

Alusscr. 

She aadc2 3'galn ahcn she war 19 

nnd had four chlldren in quick succeuion. 

IUIsing her family dldn't 

lenvc thnl much tlmc to wondcr about 

her Dnt child, she ndmlls. "It wasn't a 

day by day lhlng," shesnid. 

But nfter JoMng the ndoptlon forum 

in April 196, she found hcrscU 

dwelling on UIC subJcct mom an4 

more. "It becmc a compulsion" 

Her search begm that hummer. 

Slncc Lhe -. doctor ....-. and the ...- lnwcr ~. ,-- in- ~ - - 

volvcd in thc ndopUon were brh dcod. 

31rs. hlusser flrst went lo the mur 

lhousc where thc papers wem lllnl. 

She dld not wnnt Lhcm opencd: shc 

incrcly wonted to Lncludc her prcscnt 

nnme nnd addrw so her daunhter 

wuuld hnvc ncccsslo thcm me jidgc. 

howcvcr. refused. "lie was qutc 

mrcanic with me." she soid. "lie told 

mc I hnd o lot 01 nerve to come back 

alter nllthese ycnn. 

"I hew thnt whcn I signed thoso 

adopllon pnpers. I had given up my 

pnrcntol rlghu." she cxplnined. "And 

I war not asklng for lhem back. I wns 

only nsklng for howlcdgc. I wnntcd to 

Kh'OW,"shcsold. . 

phone cnU. A11 Ulls Ume, her daughter 

never nwersald~.dlhcr. 

said yes, but then . ng&. she 

Mn. Mtuscr 'hen conlacled the 

mlnlstcr who had been the fntennedlnry. 

He told her it would be 

best if the dnughter mndc the dcctrlon Shc rcallc once asMng Wendy, 

lo scc her. Sk wceks later he (old Mrs. "Aren't you slrJld af 5dlng me on 

Muucrthntthe chlld hnd said no. yourdwnteponcdny?" 

But she wasn't snllsfled. She Shc nnnrered lhnt her husband 

trnvclcd la New York for an evc(peve. decided Mn. Mlrrrer hod lo be her real 

mnfrontotlon nth the mi&e; ~d mother bccnusc $ha war obvloluly 

dlscovercd that he had lnlked Instead persislent and such penLdenm wfu 

to the adoptlvc parents. l%at has somelhlng he had noticed in Wcndy. "1 

soured her on the idea ol blnhparcnts alwnya wdercd where you got it 

ushg inlcnnedlarlu in chcirsenrcher kcan," warh&commcnl 

Mn. Muucr also con(eeted another mra. Mwsrr Bnally dl4 vbU her 

gmup involvcd In such scorchu and &trghter, who w u prcgnmt with ber 

dlscovcred a say, whlch she wdl not firs chlld 5he brought a aka and 

divulge, of gcOLlg the name of her naaematunlly c1othu 

dnughtcr. Her daughter's flnt name looking back at that thrrebour 

turned out to bc Wendy. Once that mu meeting. she baled: "I felt ar U I 

done, she then found out whlch hlgh hadlurown herd my UC!' 

school Wendy had nllcndedond leaked Her stor dau not end m ~ FPUY. 

uo . her niclurc . In the venrbwk. however. Jut nItcr two more 

hln. hlwsr &covered that in mcelings. Wendy asked Ulst their 

doing a search, a bltihparmt must relntlonshlp be broken. Mn. Muer 

never use the word "adopUon." But consenled, but not without somc 

, once she war armed Wlh a name. she dglving* 

could me It lo open n lot of dwn "It mnka me &gry," she sald "I 

without ever once revcallng her renl hvc a grandson I Mvcn't wh No 

' Purpo*. 

m~lterwhntnnybody says, he'sparlof 

. Armed Wlh thls predous due. she me,he~pnr(oImyfl~bondbW!' 

then chcched in the offlm 01 vilal 

slaUsllcr, and dlscovcred Uut Wendy She paused. "He's one y& old 

hod gonen mnnicd nnd lelt for ~y,"shcwidqulcUY. 

a Mnryland. Her next step war slmple. But Mn. Muuer has not losl her 

ShcfoUowedlhe pnper LrDnlcft behlnd Ialth and believes that one &Y her 

by asking for the chnn~c of address daughter will "come around." But In 

, form lelt by Wendy nt the local post the mcanllme. she f d her ex- 

Offlcc, 

pertenn! helps her In nldlng olher 

Mn. Mwer wrote her dnughtcr o bLUlparcnU lo cope vllh thdr 

lEtlcr.askIngforlhc chmcctoseehcr, problem. 

, lf only once. \Vcndy'a reply indlcntcd "I tell them I know what they hnve 

Ulnl she hod mircd cmollom nbaut it. Ronc hu~h." she Ad. wlth qulct 

hother IcW war sent n month Inter s(rength hher voice. "becousc I had. 

md, Ilnnlly, Sin. M w r made a logivc:uprnycblldMcc".

Group helps 

parents adapt, 

. . 

to losing child, 

-. 

nv KEVIN CONZALEZ 

016c~lrnes Stnlt 

hlERCIfAN'lVlLLE - Ilnnglng on one of UIC wnlls In Snndy 

hlu~scr's hougc here h n Inrgc, red "A" -her pcrsonol vcrslon of tho 

Scnrlct telter. 

"Ycnh. blrth~orcnlcan rclntc to "The Scarlet Lcltcr" very well.", 

ahesnld.. 

"I nlanys fcll that If I hnd robbed n bank or commlltcd a murdcr, it 

wouldn't hnvs been ns bad ar hnvlng n chlld out of wcdlock" s11c 

addcd, talklng about soclcty's nttllu~lc. "11's not rlgt~t Uu( society 

should eontlnueto punlsh us formrcr. Evcn n crlmlnnl,wl~o'sscrvcd Ills 

tlrne In prlson Is Iorglvcn." 

Helplng othcr blrlhpnrcnts - pcoplc nho hnve hnd to surrcndcr 

lhelr UleglUmnte chlldrcn up for adopUon -openly discuss Ulosc 

m e typs of fccllngs obout thclr plight h hlrs. hl~uscr's conccrn. 

She's n blrthpnrent hcrsclf, hnvlng glvcn up n dnughtcr she gave hlrth 

to when she am just 15 ycnn old. And she's also thc foundcr nnd 

mordlnalor of the PennwlvnnlnSouth Jcrscv brnnch of Ulc Conccrncd 

Unlled nldhpnrenia (CUD). It nns thc 11nt branch of lha 

Mauachusctls.bnsed or~nnlmllon, formcd about tno yenrf ago. 

Mrs. Mutser wat flrst n mcmbcr of nnolhcr orgnnlzntlnn conccrnctl 

wlth lhe r1ght.t of odoptcd chlldrcn to Lrnn thclr rooLs, thc Adopllon 

Forum of Phllndclphlo. llcr Involvement with CUD cnrnc nbout whcn 

she contacted h. Campbell, the orgnnlt?tlon's prcsldcnl, to be n 

guest spenkcr at n mnfercnce. Nter llstcnlng to hcr, hlrs, hlusscr 

decldedto form lhh brnnch. 

nupon:e to lhe gmup, whlch mceLs lhc first Sundny of cvcry rnonlh 

on the fourth floor of tho Phllodclphla Frcc Llbrnry, hns been 

tremendow. she anld. nlcm ore nbout 40 mcmbcrs. but sl~c 

acknowlcdgcs that lhero ore inr morc blrthporcnts out ilare who 

won'tldn."Fcarsllmccsthcrcst."Mrs, nlusscr cxplnlncd. "f c hnvc 

Uvcd h secrecy soloag, we fcnrthc cxposure nflcr tic come out." 

Actually, there aro more cmoUoiu Involved fhnn just fcnr. Ihc 

blrthparenb, ahe snld, are lorn belwccn guilt of havlng surrcndcrcd 

Ulclr chlldrcn and, at lhe samo Umc, wmllly to flnd out about lhosc 

chUdrrn. 

CUD, she strcsscd, Is not n scorchalcntcd gmup u11Ict1 Is lnlcrcstcd 

In rcwltlng blrthpnrrnb wlth tbclr chlldrcn. \Vllnt It docs, she ck 

plalned, Is give blrthpnrenb n plum whcre they cnn talk nhout tl~ose 

teeUngr. "It's almmt Ukc M, ' she snld. "Wc'ro llko n lhernpcutlc 

group, helping ench other to copc." 

Those intcrfstcd ln shnrlng ond coplng cnn contnct hlrs, hlusscr nt 

P.O. Box 1093, hlcrchnntvlUe, OBlrr). 

Ihe openness at CUD'S mwUngs, shcsnld, Is cruclnl lo hclpll~g solvc 

some of the psychologlcnl pmble~ns blrthpnrents hnvc. "I hcllcvc Illnt 

the truth wlll sct us frec!' 

SIIE WANl3 TO IIELP -As 

the foundcr nf n lrlrol brnnrh 01 UIC 

Concerned Unllcd Dlrthp~rcnls, Snndy nlussrr ~mnla lo help,uon~cn 

copc u1U1 the lccllngs of ~lvln[: lhclrchlltlrcn up for ndopllnn. 

Most of her om pmblcms wcrc solvcd through arlotltcr wny. Wlcn 

oskcd how she copcd long before she hn11 cvcn hcnrd of CUD, hlrs. 

hlusscr nnsrrcrcd slmply: "My fnlth." She Lr n horn.agnln Cllrlstlnn, 

so~nclhlng whlch l~nppencd ln 1970. 

Tl~lssplrltunl rcbirth cnnrc nboul ollcr she rcnllzcd lllot thcrc wns n 

dccp nced ln hcr IUc Ulnt wns not bclng nlct 1~1th onglldng ello. hlrs. 

hlusscr t~nd trlcd yogn, mcllllnUon, nnd hnd even eonc UlroupJl tllo 

nstmloglcol route lnocnrch of somcthlng losnlbly lhn nccd.Sltc Ulcn 

lurncd to God. 1 

She dlscovcrcd Illat tlcr falth waq n trny of gctltng Ullngs off 11cr 

chest nnd llclplng llcr dcnl wltll some of tlic gullt sllc lclt nhout glvlnl: 

up hcr chlld. o, 

CUD offers n scculnr \my of denllng wlth lhose snmc 1 )~~s of 

tcelings. Il~rl It sall~ctlltlcs li~kcs n ahilcfor nctrcotllcrs to ndJtut to It. 

Shcsnld ncw people nt LWII ucrccnsy los~rot bccnuse of ll~clr allotcc. 

"'lhcy Just slt. One womnn came nrld sat far six monttu bclorc she 

opene~llcr mouth." 

Andalter Vlo wordt,sl~csnld,cnmesomclt~lnr clsc-Ihc tcars.

' 

. 2-hlllfard . . .. 1)nlly .. Ncss, . . T~~csday, . . . Dee. . . . .. 5, . . 1978 

. .. - -, 

- . 

1: - 

1 Continued From Front Page 

l~lrr~ up for :~dopllon lo lroplc \vho ' 

could glre 111rn n collcgc ctlucallon, n 

new hlcyclc for Cl~rislrnns, all lhe 

ll~lngs I coeldn'l cvrn Illink ol giv111g 

111111 nl that po111l. What was nevcr 

rncntioncd was 1I1al my lifc might 

chnogc." 

"Today. I'm n~nrrictl lo a !vontlcr- 

1111 s~~pl~rlalivc man, an11 wc havc 

two cl~lldrcn, ilc knows aboul whnl 

hnppcncd ninc years ago, and lie 

knows, loo, lhnl when I can't bring., 

mysell to let our flve-year~old slccp 

ovcr at her grandmoll~er's house, ll's 

bccause I lcel somcllow lhnl I'm glv-8 

Ing my child away agnin. "I allo\vcd 

her to slccp ovcr oncc, and crlcd all 

nlglll. Surrendering your chlld for 

adoption affects cvcry facet of your 

life: sex. mnrrlage and fulurc 

children you may hnvc." 

alC.U.B. came into being because 

the stories of Lee Campbell and lhc 

other young woman quoted above 

arc, unforlunatcly, not unique, anrl 

as wllh any group of people cx. 

pcrlcncing trauma ol a common 

natc~rc, sharing and talking about thc 

cxpcrlcnce Is a bcncficinl for111 of 

lhernpy. While some C.U.B 

mc~nbcrs l~nvc rcgrcl aboul sur- 

rcndcring ll~clr ci~lldrca, lhe goal of 

C.U.B. Is no1 lo rcclalrn cl~lltlrcn 

who have been adoplcd. These 

cl~ildren have begun useful lives as 

n~crnbers of oll~cr fa~nilles, and (11s- ( 

rupllon of that family would no1 be In 

llte bcsl inlcrest ol ll~chlld. \vl~icl~ 

brings up anolhcr arcs of concern, 

.lusl bccausc a child docs no1 ask 

qucsllons conccrnlng 111s heritage, 

does nol nlean he lsn'l inlcrcsletl. 

It's more than llkcly hc's ,\,cry 

lnlcrcslcd in 111s blrll~parcnls, lrut 

unwilling lo ask qucsllons lor [car of . 

upsetling his loslcr pnrcnls. 

And on the occasions wl~cn IIC docs 

ask, the ndoptlvc parents usually (lo 

not have the answcrs lo his 

qucsliyns, becaose tllcy l~ave not 

been told anyllilng rcgardlng tI~e 

, 

* IVlten Cltildren Are Adopletl 

I 

a 

,, 

: 

' 

'1 

1 

, 

, 

I 

I 

I 

hllrnclc Il~il~pcndcd from hllcl~ncl's inoll~cr ntl~l fnlllcr 

Idenlly In a rcvorsc ncll~rn, lllc asking If she ~v~it~ltl n~rcl \vlll~ ll~efll. 

birll~lr~otl~cr ctrultl conlncl lllc I,nst Ocl. 7 l.ec rnel hllcl~arl's 

agcncy nsklng for any pcrllncnl In. ~mrcnis for thc first lin~c. Tlicy talkfo~~~nollon 

on her t!l~lltl, 1.e the color c[l for four hoars, n ~ 21 ~ 11o11rs d lnlcr 

ol his cycs, is IIC tlo111g well Ill scllolll, I hlicl~acl's n~olher cnllctl i.cc again 

docs he l~ave an nplltudc for rn~~slc, saying she hat1 n long ant1 ~ ~f~oll~lliil 

ctc., clc. Tlic gleaning of 1111s tylrc nl lnlk wilh hlicllael atnl Illat IIC \VillllctI 

ir~forrnallon wlrllc not earll~ sl~nllcr. lo mect Lee. 

lng for the average pnrcnl, cnn Illcnn The follo\ving weckcntl I.cc, llcr 

evcrylhlng lo somconc who has lust husband and two sons, fncl h,licllncl 

a cl~lld. 

an11 his parrnls at lhclr 11ot11c. 

!The prcscnl system ol secrecy I hllcl~acl hall Irrcn ,cared 3s all ollly 

conccrnlng atloplions, whllc aimcd child, anti was clnlcrl lo leartl hc llatl 

a1 the prolcclion of all concerned, 

has created a wealth of cmolional 2 brolhcrs. I.cc ant1 hllcl~ncl~ntl a 

problen~s nccordlng lo C.U.B. good deal to lcart~ about cacll nlller. 

They nolc for exa~nplc lhe nbsurdl- and accortling to Lee, lhcy lalkctl for 

ly of will~l~oltllng pcrllncnl rncdical 11o11rs. "Then so~nctl~i~~g rcnlly 

dale, especially ll~at of a hcrcdllary . lrca~~tifuly happened. 1'111 not sure 

nalurc, from the adopllvc pnrcnl, 

can, and l~ns in some cases, en. 

dangcrcd lhe llfe of lhc child. 

"It is wldcly bcllcved Illat all 

adopllvc parents feel Ihrenlencrl by 

the posslbilily of any expansion of 

adopllng politics," says 1,cc 

Campbell, "bul nccordlng lo a sl~~tly 

done by Arthl~r I). Sorosky, "atlop 

llvc Parents and IIIC Scaled llccord 

Conlrovcrsy," Social Cnscwork, 

November 1974, "fully 50 pcrcenl arc 

unhnppy with lhc amounl of Information 

they l~avc trecn supplied on the 

nalural parcnls of thcir cl~lldrcn. 

They know tiley didn'l just spring 

from the carlh, and lo many cascs, 

the adoptive pnrcnls arc just as 

inlcrcslcd its the atloptee." 

An In Lee Cnmpbcll's case lhcsc : 

words proved lo be Iroc. As Lee 

lcrms It, "a miracle 113s happened lo : 

rlly life." ! 

Tl~ro~~gl~ her owa cfforls, 1,cc trac. : 

cd her son, hllchacl, and lor lhrcc ' 

pears stood on the Irlngcs of his lifc, * 

walchi~~g l~lm leave 111s IIOIIIC anti 

board the school bus, play l~ascball 

In a llttlc leaguc icarn, ncvcr oncc ' 

Intrudinn, -. or cvcn sr~cnkina - to 

hllct~acl. 

Flnally, a frlcnd, hcrsclf an adop ; 

live mother, who had tvntchcd l.cc's ' 

sufferlog, askcd Lee If she would . 

allow llcr lo wrltc a lcllcr lo 

hllcl~ncl's ndoptlvc fn~nily, and at 

nalural mother of lhcir chil~l, exccpl 

for lbc most olrscurc lnfurr~~alitin. 

Far 1111s rcastin C.U.11. Is 11rg111g 

the lr~sllgallon of n rnorc olrn ~OI. 

munlcalion pollcy I~clwccn ll~c atlop 

llvc pnrcnls, hlrll~parcnls, and lhc 

least lct ll~cn know Ilia1 l.cc was 

nvnllablc If ll~cy wanlcd to rncl ilcr. ' 

agency tbrougl~ which lhc chiltl tvns 

plnccd. I1 Is ler~ncd "T11c One Nollng Illat Lee l~ad known wl~erc . 

'l'elepllonc Call." 'Shc hlrlh parent Mlchacl was for II~rec yci~rs and 

conlncls the agency rctl~~cslinl: lhcii~ llcver inlrlngctl on 111s llle tir Ii~rlrs. 

lo makc one it~lc~il~onr! call lo ll~c ' 

'Il~lriecn days :iflor 1l1c lctlcr wns 

atloplivc parenls of Ihclr l~irll~cltiltl. rnallcd Lcc rccclvcd a tclcl~l~tinc c;lll 

inforn~ing hin~ tl~i~l lllc I~l~~ll~n~oll~cr 

is wllll~~g an11 ttnKcr 10 s1111ply ll~cln 

wllh nny neellctl lnfor~~~i~llor~. i~nrl If 

the lllll~ slluulll 11rlsc \vi!fl lhcy 

woultl like to tncct cvilh tile 

l~lrll~liarc!nl. sllc is \villlti~ lo 1111 SIJ 

ant! gl\~IICIII i~ tit~~nlrcr \vht,rc sl~e 

mn hr rrarhrtl. 

jusl l~ow it calnc aboul, hul rvc made 

plans lor hlichacl and bis ln~nlly to 

slrcnd That~ksgiving wllh us, nnd I 

can only say. tills past l'ltanks~lvlng 

I)ay was ll~e happiest I've ever spcrll 

in ~ny lifc." 

The nrltlrcss for C.U.11. IS: C.U.B., 

P.O. Box 573, hlillortl, hlass. 01757.

. 

~. 

~~~ ~ 

hlll hrrn allvr nnd urll 11 1hcq.r ##I nlnr rrbl id relallonshlp wllh hrr. I'd llke 

mnnlhr. U'bm atr urolr r~lln rrrrntly la hwr her vlrll rnr ever sammer. I'd pa 

10 arl tnnrr lnlnr~nnllo~n. .Ixr hll drnd vlsll hrr, u,rlta to hrr. c-1: *-- 

mds. Onr wnmnn nl ihr sduption npm 

cv.shr snm lnlld her lhnl nhr mtlrl ncrd 

un;l*nal. 

I mnde I wronji cl$olcr." Palduc arya 

01 lhc a?optlnn. "I'll rcgrrl I1 the rest of 

*... #I,- 

"', "". 

hlotlnl lhr wnsrlrn lnlrrrlrwcd, how. 

ever. aald lhry don't rr8rrl chmrlng 

ndnpllon. They nlroncknowledgrd thal 

they don'l reprrnrnl all blah molhrn. 

hrrnusc sntnc women rnnl lo rrlaln the 

prlrmcy lhnl uns promlad lhcm. Whnl 

Cull mrmlrrs rrsml, says lrrnc Slcu 

40, Gold~n Vnll~y, la the lnllexlblllly 3 

adopllnn pallclca. 

"All lhr puwrr la Ircnlo wmrone 

who hnr nolblng lo!a'wllh lhb 1rl.d 

(adopllrc pnrrnls, adoptee and blrlh partnlr)."~hemy#. 

And, lnys Mary ol MlnnrapuIIs. CUB 

mcmbn wrnl lo counlrrrcl the Imam 

01 b1nhparcnl~ns"pcnplc who halei 

Ihclr chlldrcn n, much they moldn'l wall 

lo~r1 rld 01 lhrm.'. 

hlarv. 19. whoschabv ws4born 1a.l 

rcbluiry. sn a hrr ado~llnn plan wna 

mrdc out nl iavr. "lurl holdlnfi hrr. Itak- 

Inl8I her, the malrrnrl lose.. . . Il'nthtn 

lhnl I knew drllnllrly I uauld place her. 

lhat I lovrd hrr 100 much In not lrl hcr 

.. ~ 

It's no1 anfy hlnh mothers who llnd 11 

dllllc~ll lo SrVcr thrlr rmnl1on.l llrl lo 

Ihdr rhlldrcn. lhr warncn "a).. 

Onc hlnh lllllrr lnlrlrlrwed sald he 

can't u.al1 unlll Ill* drughlrr 11 18. rhrn 

hr wlll try lo llnd hrr."l'd llkclo hare a 

Isfir. 

"I lhlnk we llkrd lo belleve in lhae 

days the Job wasdone." uyr llamld 

Fuller. ~ ~prr~lmrol adopllons and auar 

dlrnahlp lnr Rlmsry County. "The molh. 

cr placed the chBd, re wcrcgoln to . 

handle the rcsl.~ha molhrr coul8:o 

ahead and make n nrw Ills lor IIF~IFII." OrrCpnll8ln Ir nrnl Iolhc blrlh plrrnlr. 

Then rncy cnn'l fitlrrnnlrFr ronlln. 

urn rxrfimll~r 01 lnlormnlfnn, huurrrr. 

brrnusc lhe ndupllvr arrnls do nai al. 

wmyr Prcp In touch. spcsays. Chlldrrn'r 

have lacn Ildard nd 

slate lrglslalurrs llunlr a1111 In rrplerlnp, lhr, pnsrlhlllly of 

are lain8 prrsrllrl'tf to provlde rarlrr ac. rrnnllns mrrlln~s brllvtm hlrlh mar. 

ctsr lo nrlglnal blrlh crrllllcrlcs. rnlr ihdi~lopllvc'~~cnlt, lh~c adds. 

Slncc Junr 1077-In orteal the llrrt The cn>nltnrl, . 08, anctrnrrill. hr\lcdl* 

..~ ~ 

r..~.. 

h&llhy. b1.1I1 rnlsrs swnc quc%l~on~. ;6r 

6q3: "hrr lhls dlrrllnl*h ll,r hndlng 

rnls Ilslcdonnn orlglnrl hlrlh errlllirate 

11 lhr rrqurrl ol an adoplre who 1s a1 

learnt 21 yrrrr old. Adopllon arrnrlrr 

mull caoncratr In lhr rrnrch. If lhr hlrth 

parrnl8.hrrr. Ihr cerllllrstcb reltanrd. 

I1 ellhcr partnl rclusrn. It remnlns 

stalrd, rllhaugll tllr adoptcc lhrn has the 

OpllOn of Illlng a court prllllnn In aup 

port UI his won. 

A1 lhc IImr the blll waa klng dlr. 

cusscd. Fmlrr My', lherr an% lalk ol 

rlnllng hlrlh parenla recl rocal rlghla. 

knl. he adds, robrbly wli k Ihr ncxl 

Ilep. ~rmwhll(e, he aayr. "I lhlnk ailrn. 

clts are nrarchlng lhcnlwlvr~ and havlng 

dlxu.ulons, lrylnm lo drlamlne whlch 

way lo go. I lhlnk the counlry 11 movlnt 

more lorrrd the concrpl a1 open adop 

Ilan.The idopl!?n lleld la rrnlly bdng 

r ."h.lln"l.rA 

Dose, prosram dlrrcldr 01 ~reinnnc 

munrelln8. Dlrth nrsnl..nd .doplkr 

parrnlr arc pravllfed wllh nonldenlllyln~ 

drlsllsaboul each olhcr. and aomrllmcr 

the agency wlll arrange lor phulographs 

lhaltakrs nlocc ullh lhr ndur,ll~r vat. 

rntd Db lliy fcrl lhr rltlld lilnr ' 

IhrlraV And. rhr adds. "1 hrrc must b I 

v1.1 croup oi blrlh prhnis oui lhrrc who 

mrc not comlng lotward, no1 ldrntllglnl 

lhcmrclvm. who .re cumk~rlahlr wllh 

Ihr part." 

r&lrr ngrrc: that Ihe lntrrrvtnt 0~11,. 

Irm 01 such groupam CUn u n h lhtrrl. 

rnlng la ado rtlia parmln. "Thrlr twlc 

lrnr Is lhal tbrihlld wlll turn thdr lo)rI. 

I lrom lhrm lo the hlnh p~rcnls." Ilr 

I%lnkr mcrlln rktwern lhc partlrs. 

hotvcvcr. woid ease lhr lrar al lhr 

"shadow pmrrnl." 

CUD propnscs lhnl hlrth patmu hate 

lhe rlghl lo fdrnlllylng Infurmallon ah1 

lhrlrchlldrcn when llte rhlldtrn turn IR. 

IIlrlh parcnts whmcchlldren u,crr 

rdopled errs apo under thc lrndltlanal 

syrtern alould havr t h rlghl ~ lo rlRn "re. 

Itiseaol prulccllon:'CUll says. Such Ir. 

Irssrs would requlrr n cnrlcs lo Inform 

rdopllvc parents that Ifac blrlh parents 

are available lo rxchangr Inlormallon. 

The joy of discovery 

plalnrd, he would wonder IlIhr prrron 

\vrrc a rclnllvr. 

Ahst a ycar nln.Ihr llmuklands 

brought 1ru1 the lllenn Erlkthsl Ihcy hnd 

rerrlved 0s fnrtrr prrrnls. Erlk exnm1n.d 

ph~logropl~l of hfmsrlland al Anackrr. 

I aald,'Whal would you lhlnk If wr 

loaked hrr ap and met hcr? " snyr llrlrn 

Ilaukland. "llt srld.'Th~l'dbc klnJol 

-8-- s ?P 

,m.v. 

llaukland says she ropusrd the mrrI. 

Inn lor two rrrmn4.8r1k. she raw. In r 

lal'rnlrd boy u hn skGprd a ride in 

rchnl and pln s rneral mu*lcal lnrlrtt. 

ntrn1n"I It131 /rll I had lorhsrr hlm,lhal 

she'd la ao prod irl hlm." And, rllr rq& 

"I nut n~vrrll In Fflk'r rlarr. I'd alu.s\r 

be wvndirlng." 

At llrsl, her ltunbnnd had same doublr. 

llnuklnnd says. Wllnl. Itc srkrd, rvollld 

hnnncn If Anarker wanlrd Erlk back7 

&nrkcr had romr wotrlr..ln!. \\'as 

Crlk nld rnoulh lo hsntllr lhr sllu~llos? 

Woatld she he nu1 In lhr mlddlr ul run. 

lllclr bclwrcn~Erlk and 1111 prlrnla? 

Wosld lnlrcdl!rtloss Ire nwk\vard7 Ilnuk. 

Innd 1~1d h~r: "All re 

ran do Is lnkr I1 

dnv hv dm." 

wmrn~c wllh lhal laat nnmc, they ex. 

Continued on melt pqo

-~ 

Books 

Discovery 

ents to handle such openness. For one 

thlng, they hnvc four marrled daclgbters 

of tltclr own and n number of grnndchlldren.. 

In nddltlon, lhey have hnd years of experlence 

as loster pnrents. cxposlng them 

to a vnrlety 01 compllcntrd lnmlly rclatlnnnhlnr. 

-.. . -. ., 

.-. 

The reunlon between Erlk and Anncker 

took Dlnce In n rcstnurnnt in June. Annckei 

brought a fnmlly pholo albumand 

her 4-year-old dnughter, Angel. "She 

ran up to hlm nnd snld, 'You're my blg 

brother, aren't you?' " Anacker recalls. 

The relntlonshlp between Anncker nnd 

Erlk, 12, has grown into something lhey 

both cnll n speclal fricndshlp. They lnlk 

on the telephone, vlsll encll other's 

homes and observe holldnys and blrlhdnys 

together wlth the llnuklands. 

"I just thlnk she's one of my renlly best 

frlcnds," Erlk ~nys, "llke thc buddy 

down the street you'd go fl~hlng wlth." 

By mulunl agreement, Erik c~lls hls 

Annckcr by her first nnme. "I've lold 

Erlk from the very beglnnine I don't expect 

hlm to cnll me Molller,' says Anncker. 

"He wns worrlcd about that al 

first. He didn't want people to nsk hlm 

what it's llke to hove two mothers." 

When lie Is asked lhnt quesllon, Erlk 

snys, he glvcs "n short speech" cxplnln- 

Ing that the llnuklnnds nre his fnn~lly. "I 

thlnk lfnzcl is n renlly nenl lndy. bllt I 

don't think of her ns my mom, ' he snys. 

"llnzcl's rclnllves. 1 don't lhlnk of them 

na relatives. But she underslnnds thnt." 

, Erlk snvs he 

~~ 

wonclcrcd .~~ nboul ~- hls blrth 

n~othrr In the snmc way lhnt blrlhn~olhers 

worry nlwi~l IhrIr children: he wnnted 

lo know If S ~ WnS C OK. 

tlm~klnnd hns llnd moments of lenlousv 

hut snps that In genernl, she Is plinsed 

rvllll thc nrrnngement. "ll's]ust the most 

bru~~tlful lhlng. 1 gel goose pimples 

lhlnklng nbout It." 

There hnve hcen rough spots, however. 

Ilnuklnnd tclls 01 an Anncker fnn~lly plcnlc 

during which Erlk nclrd unchnrnctcrlsllcolly 

rude. She nnd her husbnnd were " 

angry nl first, but then suspected that 

Erlk was nfrnld he wns golng to he "glven 

back" to the Annckrrs, Aftrr all, ha 

hnd seen many foster chlldrrn come nnd 

go. 

nnd cxpenslve proposltlon, a o 

They dlscusscd tllc plcnlc rvlth Erlk, 

conflr~ncd lhclr si~snlclon nnd told hlm: 

"Even If they got dhvn on thclr knecs 

nnd begged us lo Iel you go, we wouldn't 

lel you go!' 

Erlk Inter lnvilcd ll~e snmc group over 

to hls house. nlnnned the acllvllles nnd 

got nlong f~nk. 

But IIlc menlory of Ihc flrsl plcnlc is 

ohvlously pninful for Erlk. When 111s 

rnoll~er discussed It recently, 111s eyes Tarsl~ls I~ns nlon 

fllled wllh tcnra. llmlklnnd Pnya tho Incldent 

mndc her renllae how ln~porlnr~l It is 

to confer wlllt Erik, and to bc alert to 

slgns of conf~~slon. 

Annckcr snys Erlk hns lrsl~d lrer wllllngncss 

to spoll hl~n couple of lllncs but 

l~nslcnlly hns ndJuslrd well. She enys she 

hns no drslre to atlntch l~lrn from hls fnm. 

Ily. 181 fncl, sre111g 111111 wIIII the Ilm~k. 

lnr~ds hns conflrrt~cd for 11.r Ihnl ndor~llin 

\vns thr rlgl~l cholrr, shr snpa. "Tl~ci 

gnvr hl~n tliln~s I wuuld~~'l hnvc hern 

nhlr lo. 

"Wl~rn I gel down nnd hlue," sl~e ndds, 

" Ititow I can liisl nill l~lnl tip and tnlk lo 

him, nncl I1 wlll ~onwny."

'You never forget,' says mother who gave up a child 

By Lorrnlne Serrnvlllo 

- Special to The Christian Sclence hlonltor 

Boston 

Three years ago. Lee Campbell nn an Item In the "Con. 

lldentlal Chat" column of a Boston newspaper using tho pen 

name. "Blologlcal Mom." Lce wondered U anyone else "out 

there" hnd ngonlzed over givlng up a clllld lor adoptlon. 

From the letters shc: recclved. lour women came together lo 

Ink and to cry. 3lost l~ad remalned silent for years, not able to 

teU anyone about thelr experiences, not even the men thcy had 

later married. They reminisced. All had been told by their so. 

clal workers. friends, and lamUy lo "forget" about the chll. 

drcn thcy had put up lor adoption md to start new Uvcs. 

"You'll gel manled some day, have other children and for. 

get the pain." one mother remembers her soclal workcr telllng 

her. 

"You never forget." says Lce CampbeU. 

Out of that very emotional Ilrst meeUng of "blrlhmolhers," 

as the women call themselves, a nallonal goup called CUB 

(Concerned Unlted Blrlhparcnts) was organized to support 

others who have been through slmllar experiences. 

Lee Campbell ls presldcnt of tttc &!up which ltas its na. 

tional headquarters in Jlllford, 3lassachusctts, and 16 chapters 

In I1 slates with 850 members. Their slogan is "Devotcd to llu. 

madzing Adoptlon." 

,\lthough the CUB group is not a "search group." many ol 

its members are acllvcly searching lor thclr chlldrcn. CUB 

docs advocate open adopt lor^ records and supparts the 

adoplec's right to search for Ills or her natunl parents. 

CUB members arc mostly women (there is one "birth. 

lather" on CUB'S mnlllng list). Many of the "blrlhmothers" 

had tccn.age pregnancies and feel they were "lalkcd into" 

adoption. Call Ilnnssen. CUD'S nallulral secretary. says her sll. 

uation wns lypical. 

Site was li years old, unmarried. and pregnant, Although 

her parents and the professional agency she consulted were 

supporllve. "the nption 01 keeplng the cud was never dis. 

cusscd." she says. Call was ndvlscd to mvc up her haby for 

atlopllun. go back to school, and live n normal lllc "as U nolh. 

ing Itad happened." 

Cell went back to college, tni~ni~tl, and now is llle mother 

al lwo girls. nut she oftctt lhlnks about the daughter she gave 

UP. Mrs. llansscn and her hushand say they have lenrncd the 

ld~~nrity of ilcr llaufihtcr and !v~ruld like to ~n;~kc contact !v1t11 

her adol~lt\'e pitrenls ;11tr1 eventually ;Irratlty a reonlen. 

The Issue ol whether a blnhmolhcr has the right lo later 

contact a cud she has glven up lor adopllorl is a contmvcrsial 

one. cspeclally il the child is still a mlnor. 

hfost adoptlve parents areaneasy about the possibility of re 

newed contacr with the birlhmolhers. They say Il~at It Is unlolr 

to disrupt a child's llfe by mAJng contact. They !ear their chUdren 

may be needlesly hnnsscd in the schoolyard or ollter 

pubUc places. 

Mrs. Iinnssen doesn't a!gee. She emphnsizcs that she is not 

a "kldsnatchcr" nor does she wanl to regain custody of her 

child. At best, she hopes she and ller daughter may have a . 

"special friend" rclallonsNp and exchange Christmas and 

blrthday gflls. 

This kbd of relatlonshlp is unrcallstlc. say members ol the 

hlassachusetts Adoptive Family tlssoclallon 01 Springlleld. The 

group k a'vocnl opponent 01 open adoptlon records lcgislatlon. 

Mrs. Nancy Lelebr-re, who is co-prcsldenl ol the group, says 

"It's conluslng lor a child lo have two sets 01 parents. A young 

chUd may not be able to cope with thls knowledge." 

John O'Brien, an adoptlve parent and mcmber of the lamlly 

association, agrees. "Contact by birll~mulhen is dell~tcly a 

disruption Ln the lives of chlldrcn." he says. "Sot all reunions 

arc peaches and cream as we're lcad lo believe. Some are 

very unhappy and mumnlic. We'd like to spare ow chlldren 

lrom this." 

The adoptlon experience is dllllcull lor everyone Involved. 

says Betty Jean Lilton in her sensitive book on the subject. 

Wednesday, April 11.1979 

TliE CiinmAN SCENCE MONITOR 

Lost and Found: The ddoptlon fiprlcnce (The Dlal Press: 

New York, $9.95). The author, hersell an ndoplce and advocnte 

01 open adoptlon records, challenges sornc 01 the myths sur. 

roundlng adoptlon. 

Whllc she is sympathetic to those adoptes and blrihparenk 

who wanl to search, Mrs. Lilton is also renllsllc about tho consequences 

01 soarchlng. Findlng a mother who is W, nmbivnlcnt, 

or who rchws to see her son or daughter may be as 

devnstallng to the semher as "not knofing," she concludes. 

The book Includes o Ust ol adoplec search groups wound the 

country and a blll ol righls nnd responslbllllles lor everyone In. 

volved In ndopllon. 

As the law slnnds now in mosl slates, blrlh records ol 

adoplees remaln sealed by slnle law and courl order. Tlle per. 

son in search. whether blrlbparent or adoplce, must "go underground" 

to gcl Inlotmallon.

he odds. 

X. and Mrs. Webber know where against everything I believed in during 

:f 

.? Q Q O 

:.:. 

their adopted children are. But they my pregnancy. 

have not been aggressive about seek- "I just dldn't want to let him go, 

Hudson resident Dian lVrbber ing a meeting. "Because she's older. I but I did. I had made a pramlse to 

ij: was 2.1 iutten she hod her first and think It should be her decbion," Su- ulis child and I war going to keep it no 

::i ( J ~ / v child, a son, o(ter i? hours of wn X, says of her daughter. matter what It did to me." 

z2 labor. She was not permitted to see 

What it dld to her and ofhen like 

::j the baby, but, in accordance wlth The emph*ire, that 

her, she adds, wm put them thtough 

5 the laws of the #tote in which she CUB "seueh group" wMch urnore 

tries to reunite adopted chlldren with 

guilt ulan should be 

...' 

::$was liuing, she uas required to per- 

allowed to have.,, 

..; vorrolly hond him ouer to the couple the Parenb conceived them' 

:;

CUB'S Aim: Humanizing Adoption- 

- 

, *;.. : :.. '. .:.. :. , . . ... . .:. are all right, and to assure the "round table adoption," where- are in the process of deciding 

,:!":::~,:::.;:From:Page'~ll 

. . . 

ment" at birth was not a rejec- ates such things as visitation children. 

. The three stress that their tion. rights in working out a plan . In addition, the three womdesires 

to see their adopfed "We're not body-snatchers," amenable to both the adoptive en, who now attend monthly 

:;."? .i:> children that their "relinquish- by an agency or lawyer medi- whether or not to keep their. 

children stem not from a wish Mrs. Webber adds. parents and the birthparents. CUB meetings in Massachuto 

remove them from their They support CUB'S endorse- They also point out that CUB setts, arc trying to start a New 

homes, but rather to assure ment of open adoption files and offers a "sister program" for Hampshire chapter of the or- , 

,themselves that the children the organization's call for unwed teenage mothers who ganization. 

They say they want to reach 

out to other area birthparents 

who were encouraged to surrender 

their children for adoption 

and who have never come 

to terms with their feelings. 

They say they can offer support 

and understanding. 

"The implication was that it 

wouldn't hurt forever," Susan 

X. says of her daughter's birth 

and adoption. "It does." 

- 

Those wishing more infomtion 

about n New Hampshire 

,chnpter of CUB or about the organization 

in general may write 

CUB, P.O. Box 64, Merrimack, 

03054.

The Boston Globe l'ucstlny, July 24, 1979 , . .. 

26 years old, 

twins 11iee;t , 

, Associated Press , . 

/ LOWELL - Ruth Johnson and Allison.. 

Mitchell Erb are twin sistcrs;and like many 

twins they have tnken parallel courses through 

life. Each is a hairdresser. Each has two childrel~, 

and each has n daughter named Kristen. 

But until a reunion last week they were total 

strangers. They were separated at birth 

. . 

26 years 

. . 

ngo. 

'hls.' Joi~nson of Low'ell, now divorced, and 

Mrs. Erb of Watcrville, Maine, each sought the 

other after watching the same segment of the 

same syndicated &levision talk show. 

a 

. . .- 

They were reunited - first by telcpl~one last 

Wednesday night - and then in person in Lowell 

on Friday night.' They've been in constant 

contact since the initial teleplione call. 

The identical twins were born prematurely 

on March 21, 1953 at a Portsmouth, N.M., hospital. 

Each weighed less than 2 pounds. They were 

given up for adoption. Mrs. Erb did not learn 

she had a twin sister until she was 19. 

Last June both watched the Phil Donahue 

Show on television and heard guest Lee Camp- . , 

bell, founder of Concerned United Birthparents. . . 

Mrs. Erb called the television station imme: '; 

I diatcly, and Ms. Johnson wrote to Donahue and. 

, Campbell: The Concerned United Birlhparents 

chapter in Milford, Mass., checked hospital records 

in Portsmouth with information the women 

supplied. . - 

. .

The adopted child's search for roots 

Rr Nril Slillrt 

~kxal In Thn Cloht 

Earlier this month, r .llnrrchulrlls Suprgor 

Coun Judge rmlcrm) a brolhrr ad #i,trr 10 lwo 

?ern' nrululron on charm of inn.$l. Adonld lnlo 

d.llrtinl lrm#lnn mJ i;prralnl lor !J);rrt. thc 

rovplc Inlrnd r.rhulrrt lhmqh hlrln recorm and 

lorrlhrr rrnl lmktne lut lhclr nal~ral mulhrr.'ll 

wil love ll Otnl 5iqhi:onc el them irtd. 

U'hilr Ihc lncldtnr rwmd bizarre lomrnv pra 

ple. it raln't nurprnin,q to Dell? Jean Lllon. Lil. 

Ion is lht author ol lhc newly publishtd imk. 

'Ian md round. The Adoption Expcr~unri' (Dial 

Prral, And one 01 lhc chrplrr sub.headingt s 

rallnl "A Touch uf Inrprl." 

Arrordiug 10 Lcllan'r mearch, pv~rlvl- 

2nd 

nllrn rrnlic -4lartlronr rrr no1 unusal brlrmn 

nrvly ulllld ~doprnl slibltngs. -Sinre they have 

ntl'rr knorn r Clml rrlruvc. rdopl~d pmple 

, tomrnllclrr the &lad ltc." the says. "Finding a 

bmlhrr ur rlttrr aflrr mwy yrarr is ltkc rlnding 

your mirror ,mag? - ,I ir Nanrsrn lmkmp m~a 

Ihr pool and lall,npin love vrth hlm$rll." 

In lhc ionasvtrrtal cau 01 David Cddu and 

Vlclorlr Pinotlno. Llllon rupgntr lhrl the larl 

lhal lhcy dluovnrd trrh other beiore the). lou!~d 

thcir blrth mvlhrr mlghl hare had m impan. loa. 

-A la: of the inlrial emation 01 ihr erpnencc of 

lindiny rhrlr oncmr wml inlo rarh olhrr: she 

~prrulrln Thq vrrcin lhls lo~cthrr un so many 

I ~ e- h Ihe ,ntllal romance ol lindlnp a blml rvl. 

ruve. us igansl %he warid. lhr ~tmrptrolurs ywng 

,oul nnd i~ndtng ma. Ifmwf and Crtlul. This hr 

mmn ~rollclz~*.- 

I1 Cddu and Plttnrmo broke one lrtm. Llllon 

hrr brtn bus) rllrmpling lo drrlroy another. A 

jaurnallll and author olrhlldrm's bwks. Lllton Is 

probably the linl papular rrilrr lo advwrlr lhr 

hettsy lh11 lhc adopllvc lrmlly may nol Dc ltkr 

wrry other lrmtly. 

In smnllfrllnq rhr -adaptlun s).ndrom+" rhr 

ronlmd* lhrl fhrrr 13 r pallrrn of rrlattne and 

ornav~np ILI~ IS rommun to p p . ~ *nu 'rrre 

roopl'd n lnlrnll 61 imrll'hll.llvn lLtllon calls 

her pxolafion.~t~ ">o~utm' anl lnr uornrr. *no 

'So annv 11,s pl)cno.u4.~.,l) !ht,~dnl .bvul 

uhal ~I!sl$i~~~DC~lop!nl i.dn.lr vnltln~w pro. 

lms!anals !ha,. sua.!.ue.l lt.8. wlh 1h.l !he JJOD. 

llvr lam!ly war the same rr an; normal IarnO~." 

rhc 'a)#. 'll'hats new in tlir h k 8% ihr rrcurn,. 

lion lhll lhrrr 6, 2 ddlnmre. Tllrl dasn'l mprn 

lhal b l cmcels but tho VAIUO~$I a4Iopll#r.' 

From the umr u hm. as r i.y,,ar.~sid ~htld. her 

rdupt~vr malhrr la14 her ~ho ndoplnl 

I"rhu,m" her melht,r'r rilv of clcscnbmy I #). 

Lilrsn knew there srr J ~ltllrn~nrr. A, ih. war 

EWWI~C up111 A Jewnsh m~ddl~-~lass homr in Con. 

'lnnatt, ah" 1antas~tc.1 .bt~ut lh~r -rv,r partnu. 

Still It ,va%nl unlbl >hcw.'n,atr!t.l an" 

1h.1 me IIW~JC~ 118 trv it, i*.at~ 11,.m 

hcr.ul#,

The Jewish adoption aeency that had placed 

her as a ?!ryeas-old child refused to give out information: 

it was against policy. So she spent a lot of 

:?me rummaging thrcugh birth records 2nd telephone 

dirmories and talking on the phone with 

sumgers. 

Aiter a few months' ietective work. she found 

her brrrh mother. a woman who-although remarned 

and a parent - was pernanently narked by 

;t.e irauaa oi having given up her iirst child while 

an unwed Ieenaeer. 

=. 

Lii:on visttm with her binh mott,er a feu. 

aaes but xis frigntened hy the cspenence and 

iilled wiLi gulit that she was Eeu~yin~ 'ler adop 

trre parents (they died without Liftons 

": 

having 

told them that she had discovered the woman 

whose chiiu I>: had ^chosen"). 

She didn't contact her birth mother again !or 10 

yem. 3n erpience she describes in her autobio- 

~nphical memoir, "Twtce Born" (3lcGraw-Hill. 

I . -1 ieit XI guilty and so depr&ed." she 

recalk "I didn't know what it was It scared me." 

Liiton now idenufies her -symptoms" as a postdiscoveq 

depression which she has Learned is com- 

mon to virtu3lly eve? adoptee who searches ior 

and finds a parent. 

T d ~ Lifton y and her birth mother t ~lk on the 

phone occssion~lly. But her mothri. 3 reclunve 

woman in her 50s whose husband is now dead and 

who lives with her son.:eiuas to tell Lifton's halfbrothcr 

oi her daugkteis fsistence. 

"She's so dug in." says Lifton. "She loves me to 

call her, but she doesn't want to change the status 

quo. She feels some unseen chorus of judges will 

s:nke her dead if she dm. She hasn't read the 

books. She can't have them in the house because 

my brother wtll iind them. So she n ~ frie~ds s read 

them to her over the phone." 

In -Lost and Found." the author chronic!es the 

psychological suqes of the adoptec's search for his 

biological parents. In the cases of many searchers 

she spoke with. rhe results appeared disappointing 

-one found a mother in a fiiental hospital. anv.her 

didn't like the person she found. still anuther 

found a birch mother who denied the entire ex.wrience. 

But Lifton. .shile concedine that the process 

can be painiul and disruptive. iuls that - what- 

ever the oc:come - it is ivorrh it. "Adopted pmplz 

are ahsoluiely unpucded. Tinnere is nothin:: that 

ties thcn to this earth o; the human candi:!on.'' 

she says. "So just :a know the truth is so posi:lve. 

The rest doesn't matter." 

For man:: sexchen Liltan i;iter:icwei. discorering 

their bizh parents enabled them to !ind direction 

in other areas uf their lives. One pernor. 

married the man she had been living with lor eight 

years; another w3s finally able to :inisn his dissertation. 

"Ii y~u have :o repress cerwin things. you 

are going to have to repress a 1~1 oi arcs." says 

Liiton. .'So when you ;solve one repressed area. 

vou learn to open up so many other izcelj oi yourself. 

11 makes just being alive a milch deeper esperience. 

even if !here is sufferin< around this particular 

area to put it all together." 

. Liftnn is a sirong advocate of opening up ado? 

tion records :a addptees 2nd binh parcnts. Yo\verer. 

she md others in the Ado;~:cr Liberation &lor+ 

men! have run into oppsition from social workers. 

psychologists and judgei. liany ~roiessionak m 

the field believe that if records are opened. brrrh 

mothers tvou!d beless likely to give up child:en for 

;doprton. 3doptme parenu would be rehcwnt 16 

3dopt and the entire ?rwess- alrezdy hurt by the 

steep decline in the birth ntr- would be in peril. 

At present. the only u.3y an adoptce can fin3 

out :vno Iris birth ?aren.j are is to petiti:in a cuur: 

andergc a b3:ter: GI in:ervrc..vs by smnl xcrkeri 

2nd pmve .'!us[ c3use" ('.su~lly invoivir.: iinanci~i 

matters~. Recently :he US Supreme Court 

refused to hex 3 suit for open records put forth by 

an 3dug:~i search ,mu? that contended. among 

other things. c!osed recorris ccnstituted scmerhicg 

akin to slave?. 

Horevrr. Liiton is encjungd ty EEWs recent 

eswblishment of an adoption commi::ee - 

composed primarily ui judges and w:al %orrerz 

but also inciuding an adop;ee and a birth noi?er. 

The commi:;ee is in the process of iomulat~ng ; 

mcdel ~doption iaw. to tc rent to state governments 

with :L,e 35\ir seal of appmvai gn ir Ac- 

cerdir.: ra Lii'ajs iaiorm~tion. the prcyral suegs& 

:kt recods be open to adepts ;vhm ihry 

reach l8 but not io birth mothers. Scotland. .?in- 

!and and Isrsel have jimi!u jaws now in eikr 

SEIECS. Fage 5

The secrecy of - adoption 

A move to open the records on adoption in 

hTassaclrusetts is being spurred on by two Cape Cod 

women and Rep. .Thomas K. Lynch, D-Centerville; 

The women, Lee H. Carnpbeli of Brewster and Anne 

P. Fristili of Yarmouth, contend that permanent 

'secrecy is archaic, demeaning, and to some extent psy- . 

chologicaily damaging. . . :,.. . 

The two are founding memberidof concerned United 

Blrthparenls', or CUB an organization which came into 

being in Milford,in 1976 and now has chapters In 16 

states. 

Central to their, position is that once a child 

reaches the age of 18 - now the age of majority - he 

should have right to know where he came from and, 

beyond the .obvious; who he .is. The word 

"birthparent" was coined by tlre organization, which 

considers "biological parent" too mechanical and 

.of revelation. 

"natural parent" as suggesling'that the adopted child . 

has. somehow become unnatural. ' . 

. . 

Semantics aside, CUB has a point: Most children 

have a need to know something of their actual parents 

. . . . 

' , 

(.> 4 - \L- I?, ..-I 

O'er 

and r~ntil now the adopted child has no way of fulfilling 

that need. iiis past - his roots, if you prefer'- are 

locked in bureaucratic vaults to which there is no key. 

CUB believes, with evidence to supporl them, that this 

void haunts inany people long after they cease to be 

children. 

Inde'cd, tilere seems little to cornmend the practice 

of eternal secrecy, the effecl of which is to cast Ule 

pall ofm unpleasant mystery over.the adopted child 

which haunts him throughout.his life. 

We agree with CUB's goal, always providing that 

tlre age at which the records are opened remains at 18. 

To do so when the child is younger, no matter how 

many of the parties involved agree, creaks the 

possibility of liiajor upheavals for all involved. Eighteen 

seems to be tile proper minimum age for this Wnd 

.. , ., ".. , 

' 

At CUB's reqlrest, Rep. Lynch is filing legislation 

to open the adoption records when n child reaches Ule 

age o'f 'm6jotity. We think it deserves serious consideration 

by the Legislature.. e 

8. G'\\;. cQQT ;mu 

8 r-ecor-cis 

I would like to co~nrnend the Cape Cod Times tor the recent 

nrUcle and follow-up editorial regarding CUB (Concenld 

Unltcd Uirlhparenls) lor displaying concern for a change In 

our current adoption laws. 

As an atloptee fortunate enough to have had an open 

' atloplion, I feel that is Is a basic hurnan rlglil to have access 

lo your backgrotrrtd and hope ihal our lcglslalors will work 

expetlitiously to opcn records lo all adoptees upon reaching 

tllc age of eighteen. 

Anne P. Frlsoll and I.ee If. Campbcli, the two Cape 

owrncn working toward this end, are courageous in their eftorts 

lor a cllange in our adoptlon laws. They, along will1 

IIep. Tllort~rs K. I.ynci1, D~Cenlervllle, who is filing legisla. 

Ilon to opcn adoption records, have my support and 

NANCY TIIAFTON 

West Ynrmouti~

.57.-.. A . 

\ .,.:.-+ i c 

unIbirl 

,,A- 

bars ' 

I 

.---- . . . .--..--- - -... 

.. 

cape Cod Tin~es. 

MAIN OFFICE 

117 Main SIIFOI, I-lyonni~, MOSI. Phona 775.1200 

BUREAU OFFICES: 

Folmoulh - 210 Moin Slrcel, Phona 548.9100 

Orlaam - 14 Cove Rood, Phona 255.0408 

Bourns - 186 MocArthur Eoulnvotd, Phonn 75q.3766 1111118 rcccnl lcller, Frcderlc Clnusscn 

Prorincnlown - 115 Brodlord Slraal, phonD 487.1602 s~~ggcslctl thnl thc rcnson why ndopllon 

Morll~o'c Vinoyord - Main St., ~d~~,l,,~,,, phona 627.511 I records hnvc no1 been nlntle ubllc 

' 

P 

What Others Say 

Nonfucbnl - 1 2 Fednrol Slrao!. Phona 128.4581 tlocumcnLq nvnllnble to nll, inc utllng - 

, lllc ntlnptec, is lllnt lllc birlh parenls Klng Soloo~oll, who wns rcl~o\vnetl lor 

hlontlny, Dece1111)er 18, 1978 11:1re ccrtnln rfgltls to prlvacy nnd llle 111s grcnt wls~lon~, was prnlscrl for 1111 

- rl~l~l to nvold lrna~~~nllc surprlse oc- Ji~d~t~tcnl in n case rcgnrdlng 111s 

cnslons ycnrs nllcnvnr~l. The slnlcmcnt rccognlllun ol lhc ullitnnlc lnoll~cr love. 

was prcsut~~ptuous, hnvlng reiternled a TIIIs rnlnlirry ol nnhrrc hna brcn 

cornlnnn prclcnslon. 

cnrrlccl too lnr, 11s groas l~~jt~stlce sclr. 

Tlle recent cdllorlnl cnlilled "The sccrccy 01 ,do lion" ~'~~pclld~llg llle lll~lory ul the [~nssed only by Its rlrlic~~lous contln~rlly. 

regarding pending lc,glslnllon lo open ndopllon recar 6 s is of OW wlll lind nn enllrcly dlllerenl Our old ~noll~er, Englnnd, who rcllcclcd 

pnrllc~llnr lntcrcsl nnrl concern 10 rllc since nil ndop(lona of , n10tivnI1011 for 1ls ennclrnenl; indeed, hcr dlsbcllcf in the llcllon of ndol~tlon 

resldc~~ls 01. Ihls colrnty are proce$sd through my ofllce. one forcgoln~ any rigllL~ wlllch the prh- by o~r~ltllnl: It lroltl her corllltlon Inw. 

I understnr~d (he po,q]lion of those wishing to 

dpaI partlcs Involv~l lnny t,nve had. Itag prcvlously grnr~led open recorrls lo 

orlopled persons nge I8 or more, to know their "rooLq" and 1" "cIc" LOC~C~~CS, (he bmls 101 her pwple lnvulvcd. The Wlscondn 

Illus the reasons lor llling rc~ncdlnl leglslotioo in ~llis regard, . ndoplion (he sole Purpose of Suprcrr~c Court dcclared tl~nl the truth 

rc~nrd. . prc%*cntlng cxlinclion 01 fnmlly llncs. of hls orlgln Is the hirtl~rlglrt ol evely 

I hke no poslllon for or n nlast tills movelncol but I do lllosl ol our stnles look lllelr laws from man. Olhcr slnles nre cut.rently rnllying. 

strongly su~gest llre reason w ! y ndoptlon records hnvc not En~lish common law. Ilowever. Now Ibnl we renllzc I11nt we cnn sce 

bee publlc docunlenh available lo all lncludlng the adopted I~IIKIlsll conlmoll inw did no1 provide tl~rouglr (be nncicnl Ilclion, thnt lcgnl 

person Is ll~al "blrth pnrenls" may also )~nve certain rlghh in 101 "0plIon ns lllc Engllsll would not process cannot subslllule lor nntornl 

Ilrls SC~S~UVC area, namely the rlsht to rlvncy and the right accept lhc flctlon that blood lints could blrth, tllnt llcsl~ and blood calls out lo 

lo nvold possibly very lrnomallc, cmo&nally dlfflcult, sur. be crcnled by legal process substltullng flesh and blood, Is 11 rcasonnble that the 

prlse occnslons ycars alter lhelr chlld was given up lor nnturnl birth. Inw nn~cnd ILscll to do more? 

irrcr*ocnbly lor ndoptlon. hlossnchusclts pnssed the counlry's An ldcnl lcglslnllvc procedure wnlrlrl 

It should also be noted thnt under current procedures second adoption law in 1851, supposetll~ be jast ns hlr. Clnusscn l~nsuggested - 

ndopllon rccords can be mode avallnble "for good cause subslitullllg lhe purpose of 'conllnulng nnmely, one in $v11lch the court wo~lld 

sho\m" in Ille dlscrellon ol the Proba(e Juslicc for nledlcsl fnmily I~~cs' 

will1 that 01 'best iflleresls act as lntermedlnry wllh lhc pnrtici lo 

or 111Ie exarnlnnlion reasons or the Uke, see hlnnachusetk 01 the child'. nscerlnin willingness for ncrluninlnnce. 

(;cncral Lnws, Chnpler 210, Section 5C. , In the Interlm, the Commonwenllll \VIllroul at lens1 tills procedure, Isn't 

Further, lcgislntlon hns been sr~~gestd whlcll in ellecl nllnwd ncccss to records by ndopllve the ndoptce being de111ed Its con. 

"opens" adopllon rccortls provldcd ihal some dlslnlereslcd parcnls, adoptees nnd attorneys of slllutlonnl gunrnntee to the pursull ol 

ofllcc, such as the Probnle Court Family Scrvlcc of~lce, och rccord. In 1972, however, an anlend. . happiness? 

mcrlt wns ~nnde wl11cl1 ll~nlled access lo 

as llle lnlcrmedlnry will1 llle psrtlc9 lo locnlc llre parents nlld 

CONSTANCE CUhlhllN(:S 

flscerlain thclr wllllngncss lo be so loc*ntcd, 

pelltloncrs wlo collld mhbllsh 

South Ynrn~oull~ 

cnusc," thus nnnlhilatlng npatlrelicnlly 

scellls clcnr that in (Ills dllllcllll oren we arc dcnllrlg 

lc I]opm ol clllzens 

cOnfllc(lng "rlKllL%" if rlgllls they nre dclcrmlned to be, 

blllldly condenlnlng ,hem lo a llfc of 

as opPoJed to Opllons, goals rind opltllons, nnd I would urge 

perpclunl lrnurna, Ironically, csse lnw 

nlost thorougll and careful study ol any leglslntlon in the 

ollcrs llltlc he,,, wllcn it comes to a 

adoplloo area as your cdltorial so SU~~CSI~. 

' dcllnlllo~r 01 "good cnusc". 

FnEDE1llC 

P. C1dAUSSEN The clernnl scnllng of adopllon 

PrObntc: recrlrds lotlny supports the a~~clcnl Ilc- 

13nmslfiblc f'robntc and Fnmlly Court Deparl~nent lloll ,hnl legal con substl(ute lor 

nntt~ml blrth; nn idea whlch the currenl 

low s~~pposcrlly crndlcatcd. As such 11 

rnlscs some perplexing quesllons as lo 

a blrlllnloll~pr and an olllcer ol Concerned Unllcd ilsllulnnntless: BY whalrllarlnercan'he 

nlrlllpnrents (CUR) I would Uke lo respond lo Frederlc P. In'V PurPorI (0 consen' for tile nd0plec. 

Clnussen's lptlcr wblch appeared on the edltorlal page ol tile (he lnnoceol Person ~ r l n ~ i ~ ~ l l ~ 

L)w. 18 Cape Cod Tlmes. 

. nffcctetl? flas l11u clduplcc lorfellcd its 

In lhla letter l~eslates ". . . bul I do strongly suggest the a rlglll 10 know? 

renson why ndoptlon records have not been publlc I 

Ilo\v llllrllnlle 1s n law that Plnccs 

documcnh nvnilnblc lo all lncludlng the adopted pemoII Is 1Lqcll bc(wcen 'llose will1 a lo 

(Iln( "blrtb pnret~ls" rnny also have cerlaln rlghls In thh sen- . know a closed door, "Sllow 

slllve area, nnrnely the rlgllt lo rlvncy. . . " , me Just rn~~se"? 

I would like to draw atten1 P on to the lnct thnt It Is n ; 11). what concelvnble (Iocs Ille 

"birth parenh" orgnnir;l(lon, nnmely CUD, Ulnt Is hnvlng lcll the parlles tllnt lllcy are be- 

1 

blll~ inlrodllced In the hlnanclrusetk lcglslnlure to open the IllR clcprlved 01 0 rcc1procnlly desired 

ndoplion records 10 adult .adoplees, blrlhparenk and ndnp , ncqunilltnncesbip, \~llcn(11~~ 

arcunnble 

llve pnrenls ol ndull adopteo. 

lo idc~rllly each other bccnuse ol lhe 

Slnllzllcs lroln Sorosky's, "The Adoption Trlnngle" und barrier? 

Clllldren's 1lo11re Soclcly 01 Cnlllornln'a, "The Chnnglng Wllnt lnSv would forevcr 

1:"~~ of Adopllon" sllpport III~ !act tlrnt wore UI~? BO per- ndoplcc from lcnrnlng 01 bfotIl~rs rind 

cent 01 (he blrlllpnrerlls (10 not want 10 be prolccled out nl slstrrs? Wllnt rllnnner of law, suppo~e~ltllcir 

own IIC~~ inlcrcsLq; lhnl they do vnnt knowledge ol and IY n con(mc1 nlorc blndlng Illan any 

ronlncl wlll~ lllelr hlrtl~cl~lldre~~. These pplc gave the ~ llt . rtlnrrlnge, 1nll.t to considcr lhose rl~llh 

of llle nnd trlcd to provlrle as best they could lor thclr tlcclllc~l Ilmper by lllc Involved pnrllcs? 

cl~lldren's h~ltrrc wlll~ln trur soclcly. For this tltcy ore, by \VII~J tlcerrrg llfcscvcrnnce ~usllflnble, 

Inw, prnct~lly denlcd, lor IIIe, all knowledge 01 IIlelr c.l~nrIlscr~~rnl n~ctell uul lo ndoplecs nn~l 

clrll~lrrn. 

blrll~parc~rta, the latlcr hnvln~ nclcd 

We blrll~parcnts arc spmklng uut, nrld we nrcsnylnp~ we ollly clul ol nbsolute ullllrlalc love 01 

anrrl llrc sccrrcy 01 ndopllon crr~lcd for all nlernbers ol the cllilll? 

ndl~ptlon trlnngle. 

Hear us! Hlrti~p~~rcnts nre spcnklnh: 

ANNR P. FIlISO1.I 

South Yar~noulh

1 "We were fold to forget.. . 

I, 

Birthparents seek adoption changes 

' 

Dy FAT SOMMERS 

Mercury Stnlf Wrlter 

A chlld Is hnrlt. Ilr Rrows. Ilr 

tvnlks. Ilc lnlks. Ilc lnlrgl~s. 111, 

romps wlll~ hla ~IIIIPY, plnys 

I I I r k Ilc gacs in 

school. IIe Icnrns. Ilc rldi-s 111s 

blke. 

Ile rctns hn11 scvlms n~~rl dlvrs 

nnd fnlls down. l1u1 II~ docs not 

fenr. Ilc Is lovcd by tl~c mnn nntl 

womnn hr rnlls pnrenls. Ilc Is 

srcltrc. 

Snmcwhrrc, far. lrom thls 

scene of hnppy mnturnllon, n 

womnn lhlnks of hlm, remcmbcrs 

him nnd weeps lcnrs of 

~11111-lnccd grief. .Sl~c Is hls 

mother. 

"We were told to loruet," snld 

Chnrlcen .lusllce, nrcn 

spnkesmnn tor Conccrnctl Us. 

Itcd Dlrthpnrents (C.U.D.J, n 

non.protl1 orgnnlrntlon cnmyrlsed 

ot men nnd women who 

hsvc s~trrendercd chlltlrcn to 

ndoptlon. 

"But wc dldn't." she addcd 

sortly. 

C.U.11. Is the enifled ces~~lt of 

tltnt indlvldunl rcmcmberlnu. 

Forn~rtl hy Il'c ~IIIIII n 

hlnssnchr~srtls womnn who nl 

ngc I7 gnvr! Ill) htar st1 In 

ntlopllnn. Ihc nrgnrrl7.1lIon 

srrvtls ns n sul~l~nrl nntl 

ntlvocncg group lor 

blrtl~pnrt-nls. 

Aln~~ll~ly "rnp nntl shnrc" 

mcrtlngs nrc cnntl~~rlc~d to nllncv 

mcmhcrs to nlr Irt!llngs nnrl 

exrltn~~ge lrlcns U'llh pcrsuns 

who hnvc, exprrlcnrrrl sln~lllnr 

slt~~nllons. 

Memhers mnlnlnln n olrottg 

lnlcrcsl In teelr pregllnncy lrrcvcnllon 

nnd some nre invnlvcrl 

In ro~~nsellng unwed terns whn 

arc plrcgnnnt. 

The "ht~mnnlrntlt~n of ndnp. 

tlon" is,, however. the primnry 

gnnl of C.U.D, nlrtl~pnrcnls 

dlssnlisflcd with the system to 

whlch they surrcndcred thclr 

cltllclren sny I1 vlcllmlres cvcry 

mcmber of the ndopllnn trlnr~~lc 

- child, ndoptlvc pnrcnts nad 

blrthpnrcnts. 

The seerrey. thc 

confldcntlnllly whlch 

trndllionnlly surrounds en ndtrptlon 

la the bnsis for thc dlscon. 

Birthparents seek changes t 

IC~nllantd hnm r~~rn) tllclr chlld Is llvlng or dcnd. , 

genernlly not deemed as such by don't know If he's ken sent bock 

oulsldcrs. . . 10 the agency. And In some 

"You gave ymlr baby nwny. so states you con do that for up to 

YOU hnve no rlghL3. The1 swms live ycnrs after the adoplion 

to be the fcellng of soclol tnkcsplncc. 

workers nt the nrlopllon agen- 40~e1 no agency wlll conlnct 

clcs," Mrs. Jusllce related. you, nsk you It you nre In a 

But It doesn't hnvc to be lhnl posltlon to take Ulc chlld," she 

wny, she lnslsts. And womcn snld. 

cnnsiderlng 's~lrrcnderlng a Tho lUtlng of these scnls of 

chlld should be informed of lhclr secrecy and promotion nf a 

opllons. 

voluntnry nlternntlvc syslrm 

"11's not lllogsl to hnvc nn are the alms to whlch C.U.D. 

opcn adoptlon," alrc stntcd. mcmhcra nre dcvotcd. 

"Thcrc arc julrl no nponcles that 

will go along with It." 

Allow nn ndoptcc to know ot 

hls bcrltnge. Remove fenr nnd 

Mosl ngcnclea do mnlnlnln uncertnlnty from hls ndoptlvc 

record3 lncludlng letters from pnrents. Vlcw'lhe blrlhpnrcnl 

blrthparcnts whlch nrc nvnlln- na n Wrson with fccllngs. 

blc lo !he ndoplm when ho "I jrtsl don't lhlnk opcn ndnp 

rcnchea ndulthnod. Others llon wlll hurt anyone," Mrs. 

clulm to keep filcs but don't, 

according lo Mrs. .lustlce. 

~trstlccsnld. 

I1ersons wlshlng AddlUonnl 

Thc blrlhpnrent has no nccess Informntlon A~oIILC.U.D. and its 

tosllch lnformntlnn. 

work mny contnct Mrs. Jusllcc 

"Dlrlhp~reuls. Von'L know I1 nl Dnx 9, Onks. 

lenl nt lnosl t~lrlhpnrt~~~ls. lli~lllg lllt-lr tlWIl, t111rI lllnl rnll Ill* 

nrrortllng lo Mrs. Jt~stlce. IIII~I.I~IIIII:IIP 10r IIIP rl~llrl." 9111~ 

"A~loptlnn ngrnclrs sny the si~lrl. ~~St~~i~t~ll~t~t~s 

n rl~lltl I~:III 

protc~ctlo~~ nt tbc hlrll~n~oll~cr is not live 1111 ttl lhi- t~X~lc~t~lnlillll~ 

the rrnsoa for the secrecy. 11111 ntlr!~illvta ~~nrr~~ts 111ny II:IVC st4 

nlnsl tlo no1 utnnt prolrrllon." 111 tl~clr IIIIIIIIS ltvr n t~l~lltl 111 t111~lr 

she lnslstcd. 

o\vlt.~~ 

\Vl~nl they do tvnnl Is n more 'I'hc lll~~~li~n thnt It Is ~inssllll~~ 

opcn ndoptlnrl nlrnc~spl~crc~ In or rlr~~lr:~l)lt~ to l1!1111tt* tI!ts 

which birtl~pnrcllt nnd ntlrrl~tivc ntlt~ltt's nnltlrnl hrrltnjil3 Is 

pnrcnl, hy mlltunl consvnl. dnmnglrrg lo nll ltlvr~lv~~ll. 

wo~~ld know the Itlrntlly nf IIIC C.II.II. tnrmlrt-rs ~r~nllllnln. 

otller nnd exchnnuc inlormnllt~n Atlr~pll\.c pnrcnls nrr j11s1 a5 

on n periotllc hnsls. 

threnIt.nt~d hy \vl~al ~III'Y IIIIII'I 

In cnses where llirecl conlnct know, Mrs. J~~sllrr snlrl. I>c\v 

Is not dcslrnlile or ngrecnlrlc to nrr t01t1 nnythlng nl11111l t111* 

I~ollt nnlernl and ndoptlvc 

pnrcnts, thc agency hnndllng 

ntloptlon dctnlls would serve ns 

nn l~tlcrmcdl~ry tor any 

Informntlon cxchnngc. 

Such a plnn would hcncflt all 

membersofthe ndoptlon trlnlty. 

C.U.D. members clnlm. 

The ndoplce would, when he 

renchcs Icgnl nllull age or nt n 

tlmc dccmcd sult~ble by hls 

sdopttvc pnrents, lcnrn of his 

rools, hls cthnlc nnd blologlcnl 

orlglns. The impulse ot nn 

ndol~lee lo scnrch tor such 

iafarmnllon 1s no1 uncommgn. 

Frallfl~l rcst~llsotte nrc. 

"The fncl lhnl nn ndoplcc 

known who his hlrlhpnrcnts are 

tloce not thrcnlen his ndoptlvc 

l~nrcltls or take nwny from whnt 

they hnvc dono for hlm or the 

love he feels for them," slrcssed 

Mrs. Jusllcc. 

The threnl the1 thc 

blrthpnrenl poses In the m!nds 

at many adoptlva , p~rcntu Is 

often p~amol~d"by~.,nfioplioh 

nnencv .. 

workers, she sald. . 

"~hb)' encollrngs . .rdoptlve 

pnrcnts to lhlnk of thc chlld ns 

b . . - ---. - - - 

birll~parcnls. Illclr ~~~~~k. 

gro~~nrls. tl~tplr aht-rrnht1111s nr 

the clrcttmstnnrc~s nf lbc~ rl~llll's 

blrth. 

"The truth nbotlt the 

hlrll~pnrcnls, Ihc n~nthcr 

rspcclnlly, cnn't IIC wrlrsr lllnn 

thc frnr nlnny ntlapllvr l~nrrnts 

enrl~lrc." shc snltl. 

She ntlvocnlcd counsrllnt~ 

scsslons nnd cvcn psycl~olnj!lrnl 

evnl\~ntlons inr prosl>cctlvc 

ndopllvc pnrenls who mny hnvc 

emollonnl confllcls, pnrtlcalnrly 

In the cnsc of lntertlllly, lhnl 

need rcsolving hcforc plncr 

ment. 

"Atlopllon hns bern uscd ns n 

ctlrc tor lnfcrtlllly nnd, 01 

course, 11's nol." Mrs. .lusllcc 

remnrked. 

The dlsndvnntngcs nf the cur. 

rent ndopllon system to the 

blrthpnrenls are the most scvcrc, 

ye1 they nre tbr most 

:I~nored nnd lens1 known, 

eccnrdlng to lntormntlnn com- 

'p~~cd ,by C.U.B. Sncinlly, the 

blrthpnrcnl Is torgnttcn. 

Whflc Ole brnrlng 01 tile chlld 

mny be the' only pnrcntin~ n 

womnn hns done. It tlors not 

necessnrlly follow thnt she hns 

no love for tl~nt chlld, Mrs. 

Jt~stlccsnld. 

In some lnslnnccs, thr! pubsrqucnl 

surrendering of thnt chlld 

- nn nct of lovc - lho~~#h 

to ndo~lion Is n Rrent sacrtflcc 

I1 Is 

(Conllnurdm Fslr 2It 

. . .. -

~~~ 

MoLl~crs Wlio 

Faced Yielding 

I 

'Brutal Moment 

Three Mothers 

Now Ann. Ilvcr In. Fdrral l,rrlnl rnw llollrc 

nl Cnpllnl 11111 cllh onolhtr vnmnn. Vlrl:lltln 

II~IC~. ~~... n.,!~. ~~.. ens ~~- onre ~ IO~CC,I . ~ I,) stnrrendcr ~ ~ hcr . 

io~rcl~llilre~~, hnl Inlcr lu~~ntl thc~n. 

lnrl wcrk. Annc. \'lr~lnln ltndrr anal allolllcr 

woman whenntc latd ll~csomcallllnllnll. Cnrsl. 

a New Carrnlllnn houlcwllc, dlsrllrrcd wllnl 

mlglll have cnllrd Adam's molllcr to ohnnclnn 

hlm and lhc nrohlcmr ramen mn larc whcll IcIl 

of Separationf- 

Who Faced It 

Scrrnlrrt~ yrrrs nllvr 1111. r\t;!1. ttnts allll latl 

a% cnrnt ~ICSCIIIVC~ 

1110 1m1n ant# II,~ e~nntl~~~n 

ehrn rllr lllnrcd ltcr rlllltl'wn!~n 111 nly 111 ln!~"It! 

lhc II11111scnl t~ln~nlllt!~ swlnl v*>tk!~I 'il.nl 

Allnltl ($1 whnl 1nl~11l Itnpv11 I1 lwr ~ t l l c ~ ~ ~ ~ 

lnl~nd ol~l. ~IIC look n cnh In St ,\ I~'I InI11111 

\Vhcn hrr hoylrlcnd lo~lnd olrt sllc wnr 

prcgnnnl. hr lcll lhr arm. llcr lamlly and 

ramc ol hcr lrlrndr havo severed lhelr 

relnttnnslllpwllh hcr. 

Anncwsr0!11nlmrk nnd sllacoald no1 

11ay111r FaIrlaiC018nty Soclal Slrvlcer to 

glrrllrr llnnnclalaupporl. 

, nevcrrrnlly know:'ihcsald. 

a 

nodcr ncl out lo starch lor her chllBrcl~. A 

' mnnlh allcr she Rare hcr chlldrm up lor nBnp 

j ilon,shc loundwhcrronrol hcrvnsrar llvlnll. 

llul when she knockd nl tltcclmr nl llcr stnZ 

new parcnls."~ hand lourhcd my sholllder and I 

turned losccwhollwsr IIwala yrllremsn.. .I 

war lrl~hlenrd . . . l onlr wanlcd lo know how 

1 my chlldrcn WC~C." 

-.... 

Now, mnrrlcll, sltt sllll lllpcs 11111 unr

I Octobcr 23, 1979 Vol. 3 No. 26 

"Group See Its X iglt is 

For Birthpa ren ls 

A group nl men and womcn who hnve that aystcln c~nrnllslacbry and to provlde a 

mncndned clllldrcn for adopllon have placc whcre hlrll~parcn~ couhl mrel and 

formcd a New Ilamprhlrc rhaplcr ol Con. shnrc tl~clr crpcrlcnccs and IccllnRs. 

I'.O. Ihx 731 Excler, N.11. 03833 

cernrd Unild Uirlhparenlr, a nallonal Anoll~rr pal 01 CtlIl lc la work toward 

non.proll1 support and advocacy group. hanianIrlnl( Ilrlurc nllopllon pollclcr. Tllc 

Meellngs wnc held Aug. 19 and Ocl. 14, group ir 1191 rupportlvc 01 i!le currcnl 

603 -7784597 

and the gmup plans lo havemonthly mccl. nlave Inward oprn adoptlnn record?. 

Ingr and novslctterc and la provldespak. CUD Is no1 a scarrch group. and any 

era lo agmcles, adnpllon gatherings and scarchcs by m,cnlhcrs arc personal vm. 

Work Toward ll~~~i~a~~irit~g 

Adnp~lon Pollcin 

the mdle. 

lures. 

To 1'11~ Eclilor: 

"In the past lcw dkadn, when a birth.' "Our l~rncllah Is aupporlive lo lllosc 

I.)II AI~KIJSI 19, lltr first Nrw lfan~l~sl~l~r ~nwtit~g 01 

parml sunmdcred r child, It war assumed with .old or nmv pmblcm~ canncclcd wllh 

III~IIIIM~IS 111 C~IIII~III~I I111i1ccl Bir~I~~ta~c~~ts 

war l~rld it1 lhclr par1 In lhe llle of Illat clllld W u nn unllmcly regnanry." lhc slalcmcnl 

I II~I~~~JII. 

N.11. C.tl.ll. ii ;I t~atinl~al. ~~otj.~~~oli~ unallcr~bly cndcd." a prcss stnlemenl co~~cludes. "\Se want lo rench nll birlh. 

~lll~l"lt,'allvlw.,cy i:rnllt~ lor ltlrll a1111 $"otnrn (vlln ltavr 

fmm the group stntes. "Thcy were lo back parmu who have canvnong ~ral~nd wllh 

sltll~lll~clI'l~ 1~1iI~llr11 for acInj11in11. 

away allmlly. usually wllh no one lo Mlk us, a# well as any indlvlduals having con- 

111 Illc 11as1 lrw clrm~lc~, WIICII a bi1111parr111 

to, no one lo share a paln thal is new 

cern in the adoptlon process." 

r~ll~I'll~~rl~~~I 

a cllil~l il was ass111nm1 111rir 1j;arl ill 1llr 

forgoltcn." 

, Furlhcr lnlormallon aboul lhc Ncw 

lilr 111 ll!nl rllil~l was ~~t~al~rrnbly cndnl. 'l.llcy 

CUD was loundcd 1111978 parlly In mh. llnmprhlrc chapter Is available by wrlllnR 

lo 

ljalk alva). silrll~ly. tr$llally 1v11l1 nn OIC lo ~alk 10, no 

is~er to the ncedr or pcnonr who lmnd CUD, IB.O. b x 84, Merrlnlack, 03054: 

nllr Ill ~ll:llr a 11aill lllal is nrvcr fnrgollctl. .rIlry wCIC 

lo bavr a "llnv lilc" i111d "0111cr chil~bcn". C.U.D. war 

Concord nonitor editorial page 

. .. 

lolln~l~l ill 1976 pallly In lnitlislcr lo lllc nmlr of 

Sat.. LO-20-79 

. 

.I I . . 

IrlsollS who have kllltld this rysletn ~~l~snlislacto~y, lo 

k ..1 ..:. . 

plnvidr a ~?larc wllrrc II~II~I~I~ICIIIS 

cnttltl IWI, talk 

ll~rir cnlxrirt~cr at~tl rrlirvt- rnmc of IIIC ~,ICSSII~~, 

lv11irl1 1111ild II~ po\t.adop~in~~. 

Allolllcr gnal of C.1I.R. is lo wnrk irtwartl 

f 

hllmal~iring allol~lio~i ~xllicirr 01 111r IIIIIII~~ ill a I,.ay 

i ,)!. 

IIlal will I~~rvrnt W IC 181 this paill for 1110sc l,tcs,-n~~s 

Ne,w organizntiori 

. ' I:' 

! 

~ ~ r ~ svllrr ~ III~). ~ aIr lrnnridnir~g 

l ~ adop~in~t ar an 

' 

nl~lin~l hlr l!lrnl3rlvrs ~IIII IIII~II cl~iltlrr~~. C:,U,B. is 

~prln~ln~ u lmund lhe world are . 

flllll~llliv~ 111 lllr c1111r111 ICI\.C Inu'arcl npc.11 a ~ l ~ ~ ~ ~ , ~ . i many ~ ~ srll.htf)p ~ ~ orgnnlzallana, where . , 

I~rrsrcl\. 

ecplc share a common mblcm md 

C:.ll.ll. 1% 8101 a %r;trcl~ E~OII~I; ally s,.;l~t llvs lly 

[elp each olher lo deal wltR thls area 01 

IIII~III~H~I~ at? f~rwlrlaf vrnrllrl's. 0111 [IIII( lic~tl ir 

lhelr Ille. 

,concerned Unlted Dlrlhpamnls 

rlll~ln~llivr. 111 1111~~ tvill~ ,1111 111 III'I~ ~llrll,~l.llls 

[CUB) Is suchan orgnnlrsllon, made Up 

IIIIIIII.IIUI ttilll .it! IIIII~I~ICI) III~~II:IIIO~. \\',. I,.;I~~~ 

ol men and woinen who hnve sumen. 

II.:IIII ill1 II~II~III:III~IIIS IVII~, II;IV,- rIII1lIIIoII ,.l,lllll,~ 

deredachlld lor adopllon. 

lt\, :IS !*'.II ntr ;III\ III+I~I ICIII:II\ II;I\ I~I~~I#III~(.III ill 1lI(. 

hfilllons of ch~ldrenarc adoplrd In lhla 

;l~f~~l~~i~~ll I~~@H 

#-\. \\'r II:I$~ III~IIIIIII~ IIIC~#~BI~,, ~l~,ll;t~l~~ 

country, whlch mean8 a great many 

lll.l~4r.llr.l~. III,,\ ill*. \IW:~IVI\ 

Irs :ISI.I, 11,s :III~~ :~~l~~~~li,~~~ peoplo ntc aullcrlng lhe conscquencefi d 

R.IIII*.~~II

L 

- 

... -. . 

WHO IS MY DAUGHTER? 

LO~RA~N~U%~~~/M-Y~U~N - - 

.. 

SIIII~~IC~C t tcrc is I I3ycr1l cl~iltl n gotrcl lire. Acltilrlin~l sce~ncclike tltc ill fnct, ill I'i66-rr II~II tl~e !rtrrlcl ser~~~nl 

dmtgl~tcr of nlinc. Actr~ally, sl~c's ilnnther lrcsl sol el in^^ for hut11 of 11s. 

1111itc 11 11iIYcrc11t 11I:1cc--l rtas lir:~cli~.i~Ily 

~~(IIIIRII'S 11:111gl1lcr, too: 1 gi~vc her 1117 rnr I CI Ilea' so~nc trf y n tl~inki~~p-it's 

~ ~ 

cn~~gri~l~~li~tccI fnr III~ gc~~erci\i!y. 

;~cIc~pticn~ 111 hirtli. 

hcet~si~id t~rtny fnccnt~tllichi~nl niyh:~ck--l I CIIIIII~~ cli~i~~~ctl~c~i:~.il, I di11 \vIi111 I ~litl. 

I IIIII!~ ~~FIIIII~-rn~d I 11111lcrs~11re llle n~i~cle IY lrecl :III~ ilo\rs I IIIII~I iie ill it. I'lny IIIII I intngi~le III~ g1ow11.1111 ~I;III~III~I IIII~. 

wrrrcl 111tr1 firr it is ll~e 

only wily I EI live ill^ lire 1111cl ytnl get 1111rne1l. 

i ~ clucstions ~ g \vitl~cnct :III~\\CIS (~nc d:ty. 

rvitil so~ncsnrl ofcclll:~~~i~~iity-IJli~l sllc II~IS OK. Sci!~ I~frvc 81 11t1i11t tllcrc; I WIIII'I AIICI 1111icss 1111- Intv\ [Ire ~II:III~L?~ 

1)s ~III~II. I 

:I rnoll~eri~ncl ;I fi~ti~cr \vI~cr Icrve II~I IIII~ give ilrgue. 

~IIII 11e11r 1111. rcsli1111%c: ll~c sc:~lecl rccorcl.; 

her nll lllc I11i11gs ll1:11 cJ1111p,11lers neccl: 11clli Ih11 wl~at IIII yo11 sny III 111). cl~~uglttcr if, nrc ill ll~c Irest i~ltcr~sls trf tl~c ni~t~~rill 

\vitll l~ur I~~~~nc\vnrk nt~d tln~~cing lecso~~s iT wl~et~ s11e.s grOrvII II~---s:I~ IR 11r so-she in~rtl~cr. 

slrc iv:cnts IIICII~ nnd lrs~~dnges tvl~eli slle \vxnls to find or11 wl~o l~er nnn~r:~l p:lrcl~ls AI t11e tifnc I signe0 tl~c s11rrc1111er 1x1. 

skins l~cr knee nr~d n sllo~lltier lo cry OI nrc. \vl~nt l~cr story is, ifsi~c IIII~ brotl~crs pcrs. I cl~~esticr~~cd tl~c ptrlicy o~sr~llecl rec- 

WIICII tl~c ln~rt isofn clilkrent ki~~cl. IIIIII sisters sacl gr:~~rdlinrc~~tsotl~er IIIIUI thc ords. I rvns (cild tl1i.i wnr is 111). clrilcl's 11c:t 

Nnw, tnt~ny ~'ecrl~le in~nginc tl1111 rvl~:~l tr~~es sl~c grew 1111 k~~nrr,i~~g? 'l'l~nt it is tcn~ inlcrests. 'l'l~i~t innkes scnsens lol~g its sl~c IS 

Ili~plren~ lo lllc \'OI:I WIIO gnvc nwny n bsrl, her birth records ;Ire se:~lcd, tl~nl's tl~c 11 cl~ilcl. 11111 i11tcr7 \Vl~y.cn~~'t IY grorvn.np 

cl~ilcl is 111111 sl~c l~o n r111l1er gloo111y csisl- wny il is? Society seclns lo he snying j~lsl tl:n~gl~ter dcciclc firr l~crself? 

cnce, nsl~ntnetl :IIII~ i~lonc ill 11cr I~o~~~ctnrvi~. t ~ t I : s t sttc rcgrss I I I co~rucr~Wll:~~oft~~endo[iti\~cp:~rellls? 

Is 

wlicrc tllcre's oflet1 n wliispcr nncr sl~c 

ll~clnw ill tl~eirlresl i~~lcreslsilit is Irllcll~nl 

~ei~vcst~~c rotnn. OrsI~c is weil.ncljusted :ICI What dU YOU say 

srcrecy 111;1rs tile i~tlcrp~ivc rci;~tin~~sllip tvitl~ 

living it1 sul~urlria wit11 1.4 cl~ildrcn and n 

guilt n~~dcnrrnict?Ohvior~uly not. Antl ill lny 

ISI~I~ IVIO lritcl~cs it1 nro~rnd tllc II~I~C. fa my daughter 

eslrericncc with nc~op~cos WIIO inlnrtl their 

Or sl~c left tow^^ nn~l rvc~rl lo solne hip, cily 

aalur;d imrenls, I've seen tl~athe rek~tionlike 

New Ytrrk or L.A. or Cl~icngo nncl 

if she wants 

ship will^ ll~cir :~cloptiuc porent.i clncs 1101 

drowncrl her sorrows in n cnrccr. 111 nny 

to fimd out who her 

cl~~~~~genn~cl~:ifit 

rrri~slovi~~gIicf~vc,s~irviIIit 

event, she l~ns go~~c on to n~nkc n new Iifc 

be nncr. A~loptccs npprccintc pnrcnls wl~o 

n11d lnost prcrlr:~l~ly doesn't tl~il~k too oncn natura/pg#renfs are? n~~clerslnnd tl~cir ~~ccd to knnrr. 

of Ircrcbilcl, nnd nrosl likely docsn'l wnnl to 

llnving spoke11 inn grcnl tnnny i~ntt~r:~l 

hc ren~inderl oftIlt11 pninfill tinle in her lift! nncl circl~rnsln~~cesofll~c~t~l~~plcc, 

ntloptio~~ ~notl~ers crvcr ll~c 

lnsl eigl~t ycnrs. I lrclicvc 

hy n slrnngcr conre knocking on tl~c dclor. rccrrrds nnd birth ecrtilicnles nrc scnled by thnt tlre desire to find or~t whnl hnplicns to 

rounNtlctraonsl Well, it docsn't wnrk 0111 sl~~tute. Only n collrt nrclcr cnlt opc~~ 

ti~cn~. our cl~ildre~~ is oniversnl, or nearly st,. T11c 

ll~ilt wny. I'cs, we clo nlnkc ncw livcs fiir Tl~c experts sny thnl ~ny cl~ilrl, bccnusc nvuilshlc data bcnr this out. Tile bond or 

ollrsclvc~. Wc work ror lllc tclcplloneconl- she is ilcnicd llcr ri~ltlily Ilisttrry, will prob. birth is in our genes. 

pmly nnrl cvc win bcnuly pngcnl~ls. We write ebly grow up wit11 $1 sellsc afdisti~nce frnn~ Wl~nl nT tl~c wonlnn wl~o tr~~ly clt~csn'l 

for ~nngnrit~c$ likc tl~is rind wc prnl~~cc otl~cr people. lnlilnncy is likely to be dini- win~to ~IIII~V? 'l'l~c cl~~cstinn nlrvi~ys cc~tncs 

televisiot~ sl~rrws. Wc tcnch scl~crol IIII~ we c111t; 81 vng~lcse~~scor~~~~rcnlity IIIII~ pernle- rlpirlccnlrtorn1 ~II~I~~~IIC:II~II~~.SII~IIIIIIII~~ 

rut1 for prililic onice. We gel ~nnrricd or wc ale l~cr lifc. Sonre pychi;~trists 1111vc fu111n1 rig111 to n11i111yn1iIy 11rev11il7 

don'l. Wel~nvecl~ii~lrc~~or\\~cclot~'t. Wcget 111111 n clispropor~icr~~i~~e n~~nrher (if ll~eir I tl~ink 11ot. '1.11~ tlccisicrt~ 1 inndc i\.i~s ;I 

divorced clr wedon't. Wc orc t~c'cr-do-rrpells pnlients arc ~tdolrlcd. It secnrs th:~l Ihe p;~inft~l one b111 I wmlr it. If n~y di~e~glrter 

nnd we orc ll~c 

pillilrs or tllc co~nnrll~lily. psycl~~rlogici~l conncclio~~ to anc's roots is n.n~~ls lcr kncrw why. I onre 11crn11 capln~~nl'l~crc 

nrc npproxin~ntely 5 n~illio~~ of IN, critical. I~~evilnhle c~~riorily sels ill ns slrcrt~ tion. 'l'l~c Icost I cc~ndu is givc Itcr tlrc rig111 

n11d svc nre yot~r nrighlrors. 

tls you tell 11 cllilcl IIC or slle is ncloplctl, n ~ ~ to d cleciclc r\fl~ctl~cr sl~e rtfnl~l.i 117 know ~nc. 

IIIII we ilo not firrp,cl. 

s~~hscrll~e~~l secrecy ijnly p~~isons the nclup- Sil~ce utloplrc.; Iicgt~n seeking ll~e 

rcl1c;ll 

And \vhnlcver M.C 00 \rfill~ ollr lives, live rcli~lin~~sl~i~~. 

tit' se;~Ietl.rec~rrcl ~III~III~S, 

111 lc;~sl Irvt,nty 

ycslcrtlny's cl~ilclrc~~ livc in rwr I~enrts. I Aclr~lrlees nre trricl tl~i~t 

llleir lives nrc 11nt SIIIIC~ hi~ve cc~~~~icletcd t~ills 11, cl~t~nge ~IIC 

worry tl~t~k thcbirtl~-contrc~l pills nrist;iken- ~c~i~rg to clri~ngc n Itit nncc t1111t c~niosily is SI~S. l.i,g:~l suits :Ire rvc110i11g their tv;~y 

ly prescrilrccl for nlc ll~rring tl~c fils1 fn~~r s~tisfic'l~ylc~~t k ~ ~ v ~ ~ i t sv to y l ll~e ~ ~ Sl~lrrcn~e COII~~. wl~ere il rviil Ire 

n~n~~tl~sorprcgl~n~~cy 

nrcson~cl~c~w I~nrriif~~I h:rck. No. tl~cy are ~ ~ going o t 111 lc;~vc their nrgned t1111t tl~e ilenii~l of SIICII hiisic inliirlo 

tny cl~iid lorl:ly. 'l'llc An~cricin~ Ciltlcer IIIISIIII~~ or c ~ s tr 

r cl~ilclrc~ r crop IIIII~~IIII 11s 111c 11:1111CS nf ~IIIC'S Ii:Irclll'i is 

Society ngrccs. I wrote lo ll~c nclnplir~~~ I I s c l ~ I l r Iir I~cks I I IIIICIIIIS~~~II~~~III~~(. 

ngency. 'lllrcc III~III~IS lillcr n letter cnlnc r~rc~~ts v r~isccl t l c Yes, ~ I ~III AIIII 1 \\'cr~~tler: rvill tl~e SII~~CS of 11111. 

s:~ying tl~:rt IY dnngl~ter's IIIIc~~I~!~~~Is 

irc~li- I I r e I ... I i k I I I lligl~cs~ ~ Cn~~rt hrcc III~ 10 ICI~I~II 11 rif:l~t I 

fir n t11t crrc~ty SIC esl~ilrits I clo~lr~ent reply I ever 11e111cl ~IIIIIC ~~IIIII 81 feel is\vrn~~gtir~villtl~ey II~IVC ~i~cwisilo~n c~f 

nh~~r~rrnr~litics. 'I'l~c letter 111srr stnlccl sl~c ycn~l~g WI 811 11 rcr~~fc~e~~cc 1111 sc:~le~l S I~I ;III~ clccicle in fi~vor II~ tny cl~ild'! 

w:~s well snd l~nlipy will1 l~cr f:nr~ily. I rcc~irtls I:lst spring i81 \\':I~I~IIJ;~~III, D.C. 

r c I I I 1 log I~III~. I I I "'l'l~c wily il is II~I~\'," sl~a snicl. "ll~crc is just 

lirsl news I l~nd l~ncl nl~ot~t ~ny clttr~gl~~cr sotnrtl~i~~g ~nissing ~IOI~I 110' life." &W LL 

si~~cc 1l111t 11lc:lk spring (lily I sip~~ed tl~t~sc 'Il111t tl~e~c 

issn~netl~i~~g ini\si~~l: frnt~~ IJ~ 

7 

s~~rrcr~clcr p~tpcrs. \t'lly dill I clo it? It's 11 iirc is l~csi~lc tile 11oi11t. I tt-~~s 

IIIICI I lovet1 III~ 1.11rrot11t. 111i.vky it 1111. i11i11:c1r (IJ'"11trtl1- 

fnrnili~~r 5lilry. At 23, I wnr i~n~n:~rrictl IIIIII cl:~l~~:l~ter ~IIIIII~II 10 give her 1111 111 ~\vn IIIII~~" i111i1 11 III~~III~~~~~ if 111c ,ii/iy~rt,t~.v' 

lcrrifietl. I clidll'l ?cc IM' I cc1111~1 givc 111). IiilreIIIs rvill~ :III ~IITIVIII~~I~I~P~ I~I:III ~ny I\VI; I.i/~c*riy ,\/~I~VI,*I ,I~IOV;III~~II. 

.I YIWI I ~,I"~IIIIII'll I,. ('I,* 

17 

1. /VYA

~ 

. 

t4UII.I IXII*" 

9,-, ..!Y khrn 15" IrYtVU! ~~l~xltr! ,~ltm~~!,~h~~a~hi 

T,-!t8ntnt C1j.r~ ,f,.tr 

. . . 

I.u*zlms: Ih~ttble.Cn~.lic No. 1&1 Itm~u #ilk\)'It Tuu1a.r h'u IS4 11~4. 

1iZ1. 

I.tt-mv rwpt Nn I#: lwm I?'!,

todhucles, plonnfd 

e the hotel Curibbcrln md iodwhy when? in 

- 

~neututoons. plw adrn~nuv~urr end opralsng up- 

Whole budgru mq fmm wnq to annq, RtruNlY dm11 

onrbll d. @Id Imrsar. mbldy pya br &Id 

and onbhlf fm rn uphp An wnw am .rmd 

Inmrn. pr Ihlld NIP^ fmm u la u l7W for. hkl In 

Nw Maam 1- hml~ 1.160.000 lor one in a Cddanu 

m nnmmr num d inmm. for ih. mmnq for u low u is 

pmpnnt &In wnuld stny ~rsn J. &Id u krpt Imm I- unul hza nupnn 

and work heforc gkinp nlhs find 'dtctmnun* lo cnmuram doplm, m em 

up their bobfeu. 

.la1 worilerdel,mely put IL I. by ih. frth 

the deurmwlton d a thldb sdopuballry ar I mr 

muplcb ~u~ub!lsw II p l d almm ~ ~ . u m ~ r)u ~ h.DP ~ l v 

l a md nukrr rho ha. h.d rntnlrn.1 mnmq ard h 

llltla qenana $Only Iourxhoul~d*nsl -oh det irun 

tor in fwr mn ud .Jotclon. and 0r.r mwr ..n m d . 

;htld It h; mmmonpi& for prrynal u-vk ru ,rm 'innontsre* m lhs llrld.1 ktsloru uc ollrn md. 

h hnbrd or p m d tnlo nvw up lhrtr hbln lham nrr mmnq to pcrndpdument pmnal pmlud8rp dwb 

rnonop11,n. ~flllt~ of lnwmm. blaunl ah- ~~Cpmrr, und modrd rund- One m.1 "orlrr r,",w -Id 

r Irk dsafr~8tdd an he enlam rr)opt,lm srslrm 

chrld fondlnnn IWIC vmu on her pmlnrv mwn ' ~ n q 

Ikmu plrrment Ir lrgd m nll but lour *os.r Ddauarv. 

18% prrm~aun Yw bc wtrhcd- 

XIlrhIpan. Connmtrut. wd Xtnnrumt .~nd like upenn \Glh tabm nr u, rll.tlm# pnvmum. and mml sen,- mn 

.dmrmn. 21 u Iidrrd hmzh lh* mun Thc mapr dll- ,lttlons no leu than dcplonble. rmpln rmnung lo 

len'~?, ha,, u m uho aurlly dn dl. pl~ucmenl- v h!u tnIanla h.n* Md lo -n lo almme mcu- I+&. 

hat IS. rhmn ha .dq18%- wnu: In agency .dovoon. rhv l,lv ;&)ont) 

d mddlc~clus mrll hnbl 118 .I.:u~v !ivr mdxd rn 

~n the nn1rr.b.b~ doptlnn 

~dt~rlf i11a.r ~'.lc~nrh~~ Inllulrll. the, -wn n.rl8rld lh~f n, 

1w"r. ,snrl I# ,snl..mn: 'Icr Intnc v\pcllm.s 11mm m. 

hss4nt.u srr no lvnnrr 11atr.enlflad .uul -orlm and kvr. 

lurnr, -r ;otlorn#.v 118 lhrlr rrvr r,,utJ hc,lo ihn l~d lvmi 

f i n I I I I 4s.d v~th ib* hby 

. mntvnt or rrltr?ou. uvenrnn. Ilul a rmrtl nwp of pn\~v 

8 o r h . I r I h a h 

,I~~~wur.lltc~~rl fl.nl.r.!llt 81 thctin.ll .drllill,t 

..ttcrepnn~um. dcslm. m~ mldd(rrnln .b ha,? tum,.,j ,, 

~~IUiamcd~. 

I "I31,t" ., Fl,>"tl;, :,!tmv\ ~ ~ ~ ~ t ~ - -,d$vn l z # ~ 

;~lm.m*'nl lnlo a 

,.m l ~ amuunt Lu .B ic,t>c la'm v- 

deal Sull~blr mupln in ra( nuyhi lor 

:$l~llrt! lhv IWlt~m phlntrl I:;tz, he itulllntd lhr dr~l .n ale. 

11) LJ73. ll,~~,rtJ ~$lsr.n~ln .t n~spnilrd .dllarntg in la An. 

!a,rnel~ ihlldmn: muoln ,hop lur rutb5k ~hlldnn-lhw 

Lcrl A pn.unsn1 Flundn tntnrurr in llrr .~.th nwnlh r.u 1.p 

,,I ila rmr trak. rlth the l.rl pltynmr ml mnul cham. 

-8ucht .JIIC? bl dysp.mto ~rsupln 10 lind lhwn r !lill>$ i. .l dt,It,.. uilt,rrd wrl, r ~ t unruntc~l h tl,l.cnunclrs w& he 

11% rtthher .lrpmantnrrio S*r hrk xnd r1.n thrrr t n rnulrl ~ tansom and lhe lcrut I~k~l~bud d bur defrme. The* 

rnull tn'utme prulound an #rL~lrhitn~es, pn'3Lr adupti. $1 1.- 1~n1.1 n h.1u.r .~tt,.rnrtne lo .~lx~ntun 111s pha4ld 

uolll ah,. us\= hlnh in .I l~tnn lslctnd hcnp8LIl ihc n!uela, 

11011. L N only menon for a w ~plei'uz.~ll~~ I. abtlltY lo 

I.rorns alurwt ihr ur>lv rur .I dbldlrsl o~uplr;tn prt !ht.nl. Sari r Ltf~ rWt,pflrnn u,,uld oh. thrm :rnw iiw 

ttlr turned p b . uw pent mst~drr ?rndliw he ~huu. 

Ilw n.uonnd. mf*d or rhr sbrnrvls I.,". !n 1Y:l hu. x7Ih 4 wort lhbenl ilurtttc .~clc~nu~n tnt,nr law., tcrmaipmenirsr~ 

r h m prren.tnt la~~*tntlmdi~ 

nrh .rlCiS 

1.8nll~r n* .Ilh 1h.m 1.4 n,un .ltd cvt ihrm :an .ulvuuon $1, 

,"-, ,,,... .Am. 

..,,>dl of unw-nmt Y.~IL. ,nfanu in thrn mur alhn mmr. 

mt~lnhul~d 

...-~ 

I.. mvn. babr hhontcs iVhllc lnrn 14 .%II 1111 

.,,".,,". -~ 

'lwn . 

U, w&n#le mmrnon dcnormnmr it= &liar 

lnmdl,nW number ol prrv.nrm rnloo~ %inmrmarl icr.rl. -nrIhrr r,r nut inr, dlrrdd to ynv up lhrlr rluld kP.LDP. 

111. rorl would t8irludr n,uncllnp inin~n. Inr lhr nrl rlsl ,\, 8n .any other hw6nn.. hahv brnkan hn. hn able 11, 

uuvn ,I~nl rntfl!vn crh )?a,. ~vrrdlnc 1'8 st>&. &l.nrnt,!il lrl uon. Stlva.nnn tsn an at8 in thc 1.0s .iru.clrr t'nr &. 

I t m l . 1 h h a h v S nrm .I (I.sWly pMt thmupn ~h. ~ l ~ . , ~ d ~ ~ h . ~ lir.lth. Fdurruon and \Velfml. *~th iscn.ulnulr nwrr lib ptrl~nv ;in t~lvlltr nnr ol n*rvasu p~lnn in.,. -. 

Ytvk thwr nlsU.1 .$nu Ih,nu s.l~wnw-. r E.ll*l i.,.l4rll\*n 

"!#,I 

rlphi*l;clVI( m.rm.ndtat~ pn!nrtpln. 2- mot lundmrnrn. 

1.r01 rlttttudn lo*.d I~ICUI~~~.YV ,n~-1 i.uun: tno!!.,n .Sn usithnr 'nr 

Il.r\v S,,ur c'ltlld And Cml~lw~rt\ V.16ru in. 

h 5 % I u I u T m i I llllnrl a nmlnlnl nrivrerka ih.~ ,(I, wllnes ,d 

-ht~!dpn ~ . U Y the" mrlnlmn urollrrrv. F~~~YUILIJI. ar .\I Pu Srmr Ttm. 

Ihmlbna the #!,I oncl hannllnr .r,mr 13;tl..wttrk Inrludls* 4111 tmrkarr de.1. Th~r'\* rnr,.nted ~lahnu mme.onb nnd 

.mvrl~.~nn~.n ~wnd.nlsnr LO .nvtr lit tordupt .I Itttld rnd 

.lor1 rh!lll 1% lit ul h wlapurl lliw hr\r al.,.ltwlnl rtrl that 11,. inl.ltlt~~4 10 II ..ttt~e-lav ;SUUI,L~~S~ r.n~rt..m:!al ~vtYm(J(. 

'Xnll I if0 haw i8nurnl.r Irntn *hco . IIIIIII.-~IJ r"l.ltt!> LIYS I,( IIu.IIRI nr m,r,. 

ruab~. lrrpu~in~~on 

ri>~~dn~n ~n ~Mrlilllll. I,,.u,I l.~re 

tl,$,.l stth cli,. llld..~ 

.11111 

..INI .~mtl~,an~r.~ll; 11h.,\v 11. s1!11 111. 1;-t -I. L~IIII-IIIII To .IJCVPI shsl~ II.~II~ I I ~ ~ I. 

I I #.IY wZiumr. -t!n it:. -md* 

Y I,, t- onml5rJ in 

thev .am lonllb lo 1 ~ 8 ~ .4. 

lo,la,r chtld-tlwor nw,t cmem~u% 

th:,l CPt. 1,a.,. . wkrl hull1 Ut.,n In~~!al~~n.l ' nn~mrr. ~ r ~ u l nwn ~ ndl-. 

l 

*)UCCL drmnw rmm n~lrr.1 .ulr. A114 bml .~YII~~~~III~~ 

- 

.!I It , t?, 

In r p-rnt home. 

I5 

k'c'l.1.run mrnbum~tnrnu u, .dumrtt% nnrr us m.llnl8.- 

tun- 4 cluldnn in rlnylc llrlar lmnm rnnnl> 1I"lnr. ,.I 

tnnstutton fm iha ~mrrorully dutwbrd Th18aubtdym b

Changing laws respond to adopted children's search 

lnforrnafion 

is the goal 

BY ALES SINGER 

. ST. LOUIS 1UPl) - Adopllvc chlldrcn 

obsessed wllh lhe senrch lor thclr blrlh 

pnrenls ore looking lor lnlormnllon, no1 

revenge. 

Thnt's the concluslon 01 Dnvld Pelers. 

dlrector 01 prolesslonnl servlces lor Chrlsllan 

Famlly Servlccs In St. Louls. Peters' Intervlcws 

wllh ndopled chlldren and adoptlvc 

couples hnvc convlnccd hlm lnlormntlon surmundlng 

adopllons musl be mnde more occesslble, 

both lo chlldren and the molhen 

who gave up lhelr bnblcs. 

Peters snys a major obstacle to chnnglng 

lhe Inw is the mylh about whnl lhe ndoplive 

chlldrcn renlly hnve In mlnd. 

"The prcvnlllng mylh is thal ndoplees ore 

lrylng to 'gel bnck' a1 lhelr blrlh pnrenls In 

some way, or thal they just pop up on lhe 

" 

. 

- - --- .- ---. . 

-- .- 

-. 

dwrslep one day nnd say, 'Here I am,' " 

Pelen sald in an interview. "Usunlly It 

dwsn'l happen that way at all. 

"The people we've talked to hnve done I1 

very carefully, cnlllng thclr pnrenls 

bnlorehand, asklng whether they had glven 

up a baby lor ndopllon on such-nnd.such n 

date. (hen saylng thnt- they are lhosc 

chlldrtn." 

Aller contact Is mnde nnd ldentlly Is con- 

Ilrmed, Peters snld, a reunlon Is almost 

always arrnnged. But lhe mectlng normally 

does no1 begln a closcknll relnllonshlp. 

"In most cases lhey don't wanl a lnstlng 

relnllonshlp." he sald. "They may Just wanl 

lo see who1 the parent lwks like, who lhey' 

are. 

Peten lnlervlcwed 57 adopted chlldren and 

la adoptlvc couples in hls study. Thelr. 

answers changed hls own nltllude. 

"Belore 1 started this, I was ngatnst open- 

Ing (he records. Now I've done an almosll80- 

degree turn and nm lor It." 

lie suggested two ways adoptees and thelr 

blrlh parcnls could he bmughl together 11 

3 ?w. 

. . .. 

- .. - ' --U- 

bob sides are wllllng. A llst olchlldren nnd 

molhers senrchlng lor cnch other could be 

cenlrallred on a compulcr, wllh an ngcncy 

helplng reunlle (hose whose lnlormntlon ml- 

chcs. 

"The more information 

an adoptee gets 

about his 

birth 

parents, the less likely 

he is to search. It's not 

a question of a child 

being dissatisfied with 

his adoptive parents. " 

- David Peters, 

'director 

Christian Family 

Services 

A better way, Peters sald, would be n commlsalnn 

thnt ndaoled ~.~ r~.. chlldren -.~.~~. could COnlnCl 

~~ ~ ~ ~ 

upon renchlng lhe nge of 21 to llnd Inlorma- 

tlon nboul thelr heredlly. A chlld's mother 

could be notllled 01 the chlld'a Interest, and 

the reunlon could be nrrnnged It the mother 

were wllllng. 

Pe1ei.a snld lnlormnllon nboul heredity - 

lncludlng a chlld's nallonnllty, the physlcnl 

'chnrnclcrlsllcs 01 lhe chlld's blrth pnrenls. 

medlcnl lnformnllon and any speclnl lnlenls 

lhnl mlghl be lnherlted - are rorrtlndy glven 

loadopllvepnrcnts by mnny ogencles now. 

He sald women of chlldbcnrlng age wen1 

such lnformnllon bclorc decldlng whether lo 

have chlldren. And people in general need 

whnl he called a "sense 01 altnchmenl, a 

xnscol where youcnmelrorn." 

Current laws wallng ndopllon records 

uually nreineflcctlve. he added. 

"People talk 01 pmlccllng the blrth parrnls 

and the ndopllve patents, bul many members 

of lhose gmups are now snylng they don'l 

wnnt thnl protccllon. One sludy revenled lhnt 

;.,A. ,P ,- 

a5 percent of blrlh pnrenls nclually want lhelr 

chlldren lo come back and flnd them some 

day. 

'.The law dwsn'l work. ~doplees who real. 

ly wnnl lo llnd lhelr birth pnrenls cnn do It, 1 

lhcy have enough money or enough power. 

These oeoolc become obsessed wllh lhelr 

wnrch.'spindlng large amounts 01 llme and 

money.There's a latofbuylngoll golngonoul 

lherc." 

Pelen added thnt adopllve parents should 

not feel lhrentened If on adopted child beglns 

such asenrch. 

"The more lnlormntlon an ndoptec gels as 

he gmws up nboul hls blrth parents. the less 

llkcly he Is to senrch. It's not a questlon 01 a 

chlld belng dlssallslled wllh hls adopllve 

pnrcnts. 

"Chlldren who have lound lhelr blrlh ' 

parents almost always say lhcy cannot lhlnk 

ol Ulcm as renl parents. Tholr adopllve 

parents are lhelr renl parents - lhey lust 

wnnl n relallonshlp wllh lhelr blrthpnrenlson 

plher grounds." 

>. Y

CUB 

"W;'re (blrlhp.rcnUJ Nfnp Wlc 

ghoata beneath lhe IoundaUona 01 a now 

famUY.I' she rays. "We'm mawnu I1 

unneat and soclety tends to want 10 

make I1 neat msaln. It was hard for me. 

XY IuWIV~I technique was to blot It out 

01 my mlnd lor 10 years - I never had 

(he cnurngn 10 Ullnk about 11. 

"I had no cholcs but la flnauy deal 

wllh It. she add. A1 one polnl >In. 

Cam~boll 8.y. ah4 walked Into a 

church. hell down and prayed to Cod: 

"Please lcl me lorset We befon." 

TodnY she I3 glad hcr prnyen were 

never atuwcrcd. 

"The Impact a1 the loss doe?, not 

come upon you unlU afterwards, rho 

lays. "11'1 a Illelon# declslon. You need 

Uma to make lhai dcclalon. Old atu. 

ludsl dlc hard. Thoy say lhs laws are 

there to pmloct the blnhparent. Pro. 

tectlon Is damemnlnn - let me P~ICCL 

myrclf." 

D 

urlna the last lour years. CUD has 

r~cclved more than 1s.m ILI~CII, 

half 01 Whlch were lmm blrthpmrenta. 

Mrs. Campb@ll says only a smpu per. 

ccntaljc 01 lhore letters Indlcaled any 

dcslre an the parl of blrlhparcnts to remstn 

anonymow. 

CUB ha1 30 branchel acmss the 

and resolve quertlona lhll wem lefl unaiuwered 

lor years. 31n. Campbell 

says (hat for I year3. Tom - XI. 

chaal'a lather - hadn't oven known he 

had lalhrmd Mlehael. 

Nlhou#h Mrs. CampbcU learned the 

whereabouts of Mlchael when he wrm 

LI, she dld nolhlng for lhru yoara. F1. 

naUy, a reunlon w.1 arranled when a 

frtrndoffed to eontect Mlchaet's lam- 

Uy. When they flnaUy mel. hh fhl 

Word1 10 her We=. "IIOUO 8llln." aha 

1.Yl. 

"It's been two ycanlaler (rlnce lha 

fht myunq) and I all11 lhlnk 11'1 won. 

demus, Mrs. C.mPbeU says. "I feel 

euphortc. 50 much 01 mc had dlcd. I 

alafled ba atrophy. In a way I feel lhe 

11-yaawld la alarUng to gmw up. 11 

can happen. Tom and I - Na bWIpmrentr 

- ara htr lrlmds now. The m1. 

t4rnaUve la not lo know who ha Il and 

whllher away alawlY." 

Caml Hoowr 

RFD 2 

IlUbn'r buo 

North DenvIck. Mllnc. 03008 

MasrachurctU: 

(rcrvlnn Mara~chuaeltr. Vermont. 

Rhode laland and Maha) 

PaUcl* Murphy 

P.O. nox 3w 

Cambridge. Haas.. 02138 

N.Uon.1 

hradqumlen: 

CUD Inc. 

P.O. BOX 575 

MLUord. Hall.. OllS7 

Tel: 1617) 475.2hl8

Pegs 18 

ha'm Daly Oamornl. Dar. N.H. 

FRIDAY Evnlnp, S*pt*nbr I), ISM 

Until the last few years, adoption .rvas both an 

end and a beginnkg For the biologgcal mother of 

a child, adoption meant forfeiting her right to 

know what that child rvould become in e~change 

for the moval of the stGQna sm'ery levied on her 

for an unrved ptegnancy. For the child and the 

adoptive parents, the adoption rvas the start of a 

new and secure Life as a family. But that's d 

c h a now, as adopted children more and more 

begin to search for their "birthparents," and 

those parents, in rum, ~IY to find the dlildren 

they s&derwl. 

The stories belotv by Llemocnt Staff Writer 

Steve dlOliv& mde the law and arguments 

surrounding the rekm of information to bod1 

adoptad children and birthparents. nley also detiu7 

the story of a woman and the orgadation she has 

fomed to help birthmothers and the stov of an 

adoptad child and his search for his biological 

mother. 

The laws make information on adoptions difficult to obtain 

w 

,. "~lhp.*n~ aen=rl~y dc** ~~fl~~lt 11 IS for ~ I R U, ~ .U ~nterpret ~ ~ N ~ W Hampahlm'r ~ U adopUon 

hlio effoN are undcr way lo due pmeerr of law by , ,doplaea Utlon ,* sslhar~lr been some pc~llonr (tiled 

balnu returd Ulc Doblah 

l~oma~on as law dWrrcnUy. 

chlngc 1111~ rtatutes con- name of the prnbals cow to pcUUon." .blah mcdle,~lnformauon ,boul 

by blrthmolhen), but ?yere not ct. 

UICCOW~II- a*~tas 

ccrnlng ldoplan l.rl Clmp,,cu, ,a pnlldcnl .,,d COW. Ula aaen~Iea' and ludicmu 10 have a irw inter- 1 b~parenu (hat could aUect tln~ any iniormatlon. aryn Artfur 

tltuds towards lhe riuht. rnd needs of pnl* 10 ~ f c w.Y." ~ t Susan OUIC~ 

lhe law, it no,rly Conccmed Vnlled 

r..rcmg lor elucr Roberue. a1.L~ weu*m ofllcl.1 who 

Faye. cmrdlnaLOr of CathoIIc chaducs 

blhpmn, 

deah with rdoptlonr. "11'1 not U@ly 

lmwsllble for blnhp.rmu natu- plrm~ (re* abr~ 

below). A rmng ad. 'dp(",~Y~rfn"(~re,'~~~~aw In New dlvlrlan at ~~atemity and Ado uon ,clr pl,l 

r.1 parenla 01 adopled children) lo ob an]"cra ldenuly. lh~~~~,"~".",";~~~~oPte 

pcuUon 

1111 WormoUon nbout a chlld Uley'vo vwnc tlon Act of calllns provlalonl lor moro in tha own Model recordl. Adop Ilampah~ro imkt unrondl~Dnrl~y open to Scrvlccr. She lays the pmhlom will tho 

~doptces, who mutshow "gmd cauc" 1.w 11 that 11 dac*n't pmvlds tor any tho cow. lha presldlng Judge urually 

rumnderrd Uvough lhe court.. Mn. Campbcli a,yr 

hfra. Toye. Cam bell and a reauery (he adontlon a~cnc)r$at hancords 

drnled blrthpannU lncluda 1 whuc PcUUonLn* a prr(lcular pmbate Yn$Fgyc ,dop,jon ,8E,Llo, sIal8 Department of We&m offlclal 

In mDny states, ndopUon o~cncfc' re copy oc ths orialn.1 btN certlllcats 'Ow for lnformrUon about lhck ldop as stlteor court lud,,cs had never heard of an Irutabce In 

rue to rclcnac the name 01 the probatc 

I,, an ,dopllon ha,. cople. of Ule aumnder dwummt. U"&'~&!!~~~~~&UIOUc ChlrlUel. , are wing to relo~vc the altua. which lha courts granted lnforma~on to 

dl&. in roms cases. denying tho bir(h- "We .re s~mp~y following lhc lnw." Manchcrler rdopuon agency, rays ih.1 lion. hut no mnUnu dnlc belwcon~lhs ' b'*hmothcr .rr)rlllgldenuy'ng infop 

pnrcn~' dghl to prtlllon the couru. one adopUon agency olflclll SlYl. Judger In tho stale's 10 probale couru lWo gmups har k n maUon about hcr surrendered chlld. 

,...------.---- ----------- 

. 

-. 

died the mrller inillally to revlcw the 

rcqucrt and forward 1U rrcommcnda. 

tion to ths court. 

Depcndinn on the cam, Roberne 

rays. tho Judge usually wlll follow tho 

rccammcndaUon al lhc asmcy. 

"It ..... .I1 dsncnds .--..-- on the reason the 

~~ 

adootcs wmta lha inioiniition." ha 

Roberue say1 on0 problem frclng 

rdOPlcca sclrchlnr( for their idopllon 

record1 la the fnct lhat the i1.10 d ~ - 

lWoYa records after ?I Years. Even If 

an adapuon nrency has held on lo tho 

fllsl. It 1s unllkcly 1h.l the information 

contalncd In lhom rhleh mnv . be .. 3 .. 

Yolrl old or oldrr - 11 current.

Searching for birthparen ts: 

For some, if's a matter of identit 

. . 

s 

ICVO 

Johnson wns only 14 wllcn pnrclits. 10 know lllnls@lf. 

tlllcsllons nl~ollt 111s For stcvc, tllc nnsc\'crs cnnlc 

hcunn lo l~~lllcr ~llln. AS nn dnys nllcr 111s l8lh blrlhdny, when hc 

ndoplcc, llc lon~{rcl 

know 111~ fncts lflllll~l hls blrll~mothcr. UUt first, 110 h d 

nboul ills llcrltnRc, lo know ills lJlrlh. hod to convlncc his ndopllvc pnrcnts cnts," Slcvc snys. "1 could llrvrr ncccpl 

nrlyonc clsc hc~ldcs IIICIII na nly 

lhnt his scnrch some. 

pn~cnts. In my cnsc I cvns ~lnd I wns 

lhllig hc hnd lo do. 

put up lor ndopllon. Shc (l~lt~l~moll~cr) 

"Wc fcrtnlnly dld cxplnlnc~l It lo mc. Shc's not n inolhcr 

CnCollrnRc Ilim lo me, b111 shc's morc ln~porlnnl Ihnn 11 

scnrch)," snys Alnrlhn frlcnd.v 

Johnson, 111s ndopllvc 

mother. "1 didn't atop SICVC wns nblc lo flnd 111s blrlh- 

from golnU 10 111~ meet- mother wlth the hclp of Orplrnn Voy- 

Ings, hut I dldn't drive 

IlIm. IC follnd 111s own Fnllnclcd in 1053 by ~c'nn ~p~ton, nn 

rides. Wc plnycd tlllng cx.ndoptlon soclnl worker. Orpllnn Voydown 

rind hope* hc would ngc is onc of ihc inrgcst scnrcll groups 

go on to 8olnctIllW clsc. in thc country. In the Alnsanchll~clts 

We dldn't dlscourn~c him nrca nlonc, Orpllnn Voyn~c 11"s morc 

lnlklng nbout it, 

than 1,000 mcmhcrs. 

' 

11 hcgnn In thc Dny Stnlc five ycnrs 

dld dlscourn~c lnkln~ nny nctlon." ngo rind slncc tl~cn hns lrnnsnclctl 500 

rc~~nlons hclwccn ndoptcd chlldrcn nnd 

I~lrll~pnrcnts - 95 pcrccnl of wlllcll 

Wh'lc Johnson Isn" 'llc "Inc Of 

hnvc bcon succossfal. Susnn Dnrkc, Or- 

Nnshun 'On, Ihc phnn Voyngc's Alnsrnrht~scfls ilircclor, 

" how dcnlt Issue Of 

snys (hc ldrn Ihnl rrlullons ~lon't work 

ndoplccs nnd thc scnrch for lhclr hlrth- simply lsnVt trllc. 

pnrcnts is. 

SLcvc was sllll young wllcn tho qacs- nlrs. Dnrkc 11~s both profc'slonn~ nnd 

lions about 111s ldcnllly l~cfian (0 bother pcrsonnl q~~nllfjcntlons 11 IIISCIISS 

him, hut hls formnl acnrch wns dclnycd ndoptccs rind l,lrtlllln,.cn(s. 

until he bccnmc nn ndult. hlcnnwhllco As nn lnlont shc wns surrc\lclcrcd for 

his pnrcnls trlcd lo nvold lhc Issue. ndoption, only to bccomc prrgnnnl nt 

18, nnd, in turn. surrcndcr llcr Ir~fnnl 

for ndopllos. Shc is both ntloplcc nnd 

c wcrc hoplng.lt mluht go awns." hlrlhpnrcnt. Alll~ougl~ I1 look lhc 35- 

Mrs. Johnson snys. Flnnlly, ahcn cnr-old Alrs. Dnrkc clghl ycnrs lo flnd 

wns nhoul lo turn 18, hls pnrcnls [cr blrthpnrcnls, shc rnaintnlns rclngnvo 

hlm lhclr support. Aftcr rcnllzlng tlonshlps todny wllh both hcr blrlhhis 

inlcrcsl In Ills blrll~pnrcnts wnsn't pnrcnls nnd l ~cr chlld. 

going lo fndo, Ihcy dccldcd 11 would hc "If you ncvcr know whcrc yml cnmc 

hest 10 support him during n dlfflcult from, how cnn you fccl good nboul 

tlmc. 

yo11rsclf7" shc nsks. 

The Issues surrounding ndoptlvc pnrcnla 

and lhclr chlldrcn's scnrch lor 

lhclr blrthpnrcnts nrc sc~~slllvc. 

Alnny pcoplc syn~pnlhlrc wllh nn 

ndoplccs' nccd lo scnrch fov Ihclr hlrlbpnrcnls, 

bul qursllon ~vhcthcr cnl~rts 

hnvc n dllty lo rclcnsc ntl~~pllon record 

Informollon. Sornc will ntgnc (hot when 

ndoplccs rcnch 18, rccords pcrlninlng 

lo thclr n~lopllon should bo opcncd, hut 

not bclorc. 

Others sny lhc syslcm prolecls blrthpnrcnts 

who mny w1s11 to ovoid cnrountcrlrrg 

thclr surrcndcrctl chlldrcn or lhc 

,duplcd clllldrcn 

may not ll cmo. ICY prohlblts nlloplcc mcmt~crs from 

tjonnlly rcndy lo cncounlcr bjrlh. 

SCWCIII"R for thclr blrthpnrcnts ~VhfIc 

pnrcnls. 

lhcy nrc mlnors. Dlrllimolhcrs nrc nlso 

Pnramounl In mnny pcoplc's mlnds prolill~llcd from acnrchlng unt11 lllclr 

- cspcclnlly In ( I of ~ ,,doptlvc ~ ~ pnr- ~ chlldrcn hnvc rcnchcll ndultllood. 

cnls - Is lhc posslblllly llint chlldrcn 

try nnt' keep lid " (Ibctr 

lcpvc lhc fnmlllcs lhnl llnvr rnlscd scnrch mcll~otls) ns much ns'posalblc," 

them when lhcy llnnlly flnd Ihclr blrlh- s"s nlr" ''I hcl'cvC nnyborly 

pnrcnls. Ill11 ndoplccs nnd hlrll~pnrcnts Cnn vlo~~sly tnkc fO"nd. much longer l$n 'Irs) hlhcrs. Ob. 

both any lhls fcnr Is ~~nfoondcd. 

Ado~ttccs my thcy liovc no doslrc lo ' * vowye 

rcplncc thc fnmlly thnl rnlscd Il~cm; 

I'lcnsc urn lo 1l1c ncxl pane. 

hlrll~pnrcnl sny lhcy hnvc no clcslrc to 

I 

hrcnk ntlopllvc fnmlllcs nlrnrl. Yet 

n~loplccs nlso sny they hnvr n l.lgl11 lo 

lnlormntlon n\~nul thclr bnckfiro~~nd~, 

mcdlcnl rccords nnd possltilc rclntlvcs.

"cry oflcn (unknown rclntlvcs) tl~cy'rc in her blrll~pnrcnls. 

ngcncy, conducls nbotlt 35 ndolrtlons 

n mllc down thc rond." 

ycnrly, down lrom the 80 to 1M) 

"Wlth Stcvc tllcrc wns n trcmcndousc 

yrnrly 

Mrs. Ilnrkc snys scnrcl~es look much necd to know whnt 111s mothcr lookcd ndoptlons tllc 

1ollRcr in tll~ PllSt, bccnclsc, cvcn flvc llkc," nlrs. Johnson anys, 7 I 

ycnrs n~o, n network 01 people wllllnn don't know. WIIY it's t~lcrc in onc child "Adopllon is n vcry b;nullhl I~IIIR 

10 provlclc lnlurmnllon wns non.cxlst- and not another - I don't know." for mnny, mnny people, snys s11sn11 

Foyc, n Cnll~ollc Chnrlllcs offlclnl. 

"Thcrc nrc mnny wondcrlul pcoplc 

wnlklng nround todny who wcrc 

ndoplcd. It Is not tlic nlost tcrrlblc 

thlng In the world to llroppcn to solncbody." 

Whcn Mrs. Johnson ndopicd Stcvc nlmost 

20 ycnra ngo, she wns told thnt 

tlic rccords surroilndlng the ndopllon 

would be closcd nnd could ncvcr be 

opened. Thnt stnlcmcnt onc dny mny 

no longer hc truc (scc story 01) ndoptlon 

lnws). 

Mrs. Johnson ncvcr wns told tllnl hcr 

bnby boy mlght grow up nnd stnrt nsk- 

Ing qucstlons nboi~l hls or1 ins. "1 don't 

know If eounscllng would anvc hclpcd. 

but It wouldn't hnvc come ns ailcll n 

shock." shc snys. 

nut for net11 nnd Evnn Stonc, n Dny 

rlngtan couplc who recently adopted n 

bnby boy, the qucstlons tlielr son Inn 

mny nsk one day wlll comc ns no surprlse. 

"IIC hns thc rlghl lo know hcv:nS 

, # s . . . 

. , , ndoplcd," anys the 28.ycnr-old ?frs. 

Stonc. "Wc nrc both vcry much in 

lnvor of hlm knowlng. It would bc n big 

mlslnkc to hold hlm bpck. 

"I don't wnnt Inn to th;k hc wns 

nbnndoncd by hls mothcr, shc ndds. 

"Shc wnntcd hlm very bndly." 

Evan and Beth Stone and thelr ll-month-old adopted'son, Ian, pose oulsldo 

tlielr Barrington home recently. Unlike couples who adopled 20 

years ago, the Slones realize Ian may someday want lo know about hls 

blrlhparents. They say they have no objeclions lo hlm 8efIkln~ thal Infor- vnn Stonc. who wllh Ills wlfc runs 

msllon once he becomes an adult. 

Fcrnnld Ilnchctt's Rcstnurnnt In 

(Democrat Photo - d'ollvelra) IIochcstcr, says ndopllons now nrc "100 

sngs. "Today 60 percent 01 our rclcr- hnvc bccn dclcctcd cnrllcr I1 mcdlcnl pcrccnt" lcgnl mnttcrs' Today' 'Onrnls 

nre lrom ngcnelcs. We've just hod inlormnllon nboilt hls blrthpnrcnts hnd Lrncts arc up bc'wecn lhc pnrto 

bcnt on the!: door and lcl them know bccn nvnllnble. Blnny ndoptccg' across tics invotvcd~ includlng lhC birthfather' 

wc wcrc here. the country lncc slmllnr problems. whlch wnsn't nlrvnys true In tho 00s. 

sThcy (ndoptlon ofliclols) IIe "so snys thnt ndoptlon nucnclcs 

just told us whnt hc (Stcvc) once dlscourng~d ~nrcn19 from letting 

hnvc." Mrs. Johnson snys. 

thelr chlldrcn scnrch for thclr birlhrs. 

Johnson snys she ncvcr iclt htost collplcs now arc glvcn in- PnrcntS: todnY1 ~Rcnclcs arc morc rc. 

S~CVC would lcnvc U he found hls lormntlon nbout the blr(llpnrrnts of the lnxcd about the sllbfcct. "They tell You 

blrthmothcr. chlld thcy nrc ntloptlnu. Twcnly ycnrs If tho chlld wnnts to look, don't stop 

Orphnn Voyngc co~~nselcd hcr son ngo, most unwed motl1cr.q wcrc sent to him," Stone soys. 

nboul thc povltlve n~pccLs nssoclnlcd mntcrnlty T ~ C onus of tllc 

Whllc Mrs. Stone snYs sho hns no oh. 

With rcllnlons, bill Mrs. Johnson snys llnwcd mothcr led to cvnslorls rind sc- 1cctIons to Inn's blrthmothcr scnrchlnu 

she nnd hcr hilsbnnd wcrc always thcrc erccy, ullt todny, motcrn[ty homes for her sonOncC hc turns 1% she docs 

to rcmlnd ~tcvc thnt n rcunlon mlgt~t llnvc vlrlunlly dlsnppenred. Tllc stlgmn have rcscrvntlons about hlrlhmolhcrs 

not work out as wcll ns hc cxpccted. 01 unmnrrlcd motllcrllood hns fndcd looklnu for thclr chlldrcn bt:fore tllcy 

Llkc nll pnrcnls, thcy dldn't wnnt to scc nnd mnny glrls arc optlng lnstcnd lo rcff&"~~~~~ilId. I,c,s my son, 

thclr chlld hurt. 

keep thclr clllld. Dlrlli control nnd 

"Orl~llnn Voyngc d~d hc~p." iitrs, nbortlon nlso ~~avc colnhlncd wltll so. our 80"- She (Inn's blrthmo'llcr) Rnve 

Johnson snys. "It wns good lor Step. clcty's chnnglng mores lo product n 

up nll lcgnl rlghts to hlm when she 

hen. \Ye wcrc both Crylog. Ilc cnmc to drnstlc dccllnc fn the nclmllcr 01 nllop- s118ncd tllosc popcrs -she hns lcflnl 

where I work to borrow tho cnr lo go tlons during the pnst10 ycnrs. rlglils to hlm. The ndoptlng pnrcnts 

meet her (111s blrlhmother). Ilc went 

should hnvc the rlght not to go tl~roaall 

\(.It11 Orplrnn Voyngc pcoplc bul not Iris 

thnt torlurc," shc ndds. "Tlicrc Is 0 

pnrcllts. llc dldn't wnnt 11s thcrc when tole Dcpnrllnc111 of Welfnrc olll- vcry vnlld rcnsoll for holdlng thnt inforhc 

nlct her, whlch Is ~lndcrstondnblc." S clnls cstlmnlc tlrnt npproxlmnlcly mntlon brick tlntll tllc child 1s 113. 

Mrs. Johnson nnd her husbnnd nlso 200 ndopllons nrc trnnsnctetl in Ncw "When you think nbout It. ndoptlon is 

hnvc n 10-ycnrold ndoplcd dn~cghlcr. Ilnmpshlrc nnnllnlly. Cntlinllc Chnrl- n vcry poaltlvc thlng," abc any#. "Th@ 

hlrs. Johnron snys she has no lntcrcst tlcs, n Unncl~cslcr-bnscd ndoptlon child wlll hnvc something tllc birth-

4 

.. 

I. 

--- .................. 

hine-f~eeface bn traveling for peace, 

birth mothers, and poems 

we give each other. 

-- ---.----A -- .. 

This weelc my fianc6 and I took battered wife. But I muddled tlirougt!, 

out a marriage license, and I was pre- and my children. liave grown into the 

sented with a "gift for the bridev-- Itind of people I hoped they would. b\y 

Individual containers of dishwashing daughter, 17, is strong, co~npassionliquid 

and detergent, a trial-size box of ate, and courageous: my sons, 19 and 

tampons, and a paperbaclc mystery. 14, will, I tliinlc, treat their'women as 

Just what a bride needs, right? At least friends, partners, and equals. 

at age 35 1 could laugh at the packet Before it's too late arid I find that 

and shake my head at how far we liave all my struggles have completelv 

yet to go to reach true liberation. drained me of energy, I'm malting a 

Penny Colgan concerted effort to realize my ctier- 

Philadelphia, Pa. ished dream of getting a college education. 

I have been offered adrnlssion 

I am a 37-year-old feminist and to Scripps College in Claremont, Calithing 

my fornia, where I had applied for a scliolson 

did when he went to arslilp. A beautiful letter from the asstudy 

in tlie United States was to sub- sistant director of admissions says, "In 

il. It also covers beautifully. scribe to Ms. Magazine for me. I have my opinion, you are clearly one of the 

rid its fresh-water formula a marvelous time reading and reread- most brilliant women ever to apply to 

lng every issue. There's no husband Scripps." Unfortunately, due to the 

to ob~ect-~sm divorced, changes in your federal administra- 

I was only 16 and a half when my lion, the scliolarships (two of thern) 

Choose from Gsoft, natural marriage was arranged by my parents. that were earmarked for foreign sluooking 

shades that go on Although I was an outstanding student dents have not been given this year. 

and had completed one and a half The woman goes on to say. "This 

years of college, I had to leave without really breaks my heart as I would defiearning 

a degree. Neither my parents nitely like to see you enroll In Scripps 

With Maybelline Oil Con- nor my in-laws or husband belleve In in the fail. If it is at all possible for you 

rol Make-up there's a shinc- further education for women, and I to come without aid, please do so." 

ree face in your future. And was not permitted tc return to college. The tone of her letter lias reached out 

The marriage ended in a divorce 10 across thousands of miles and 

years later. 

warmed my heart. I a111 devastated 

Since then, I have brouglit up my because I do not liave the funds, but I 

three children alone. I had to worlc am deterrnined to find them. 

(and earn whatever I could with niy 

Aslia S. Sing11 

limited education) to support thern. I 

New Delhl, India 

have never received from 

................................. 

. 

.- 

their father, and child support was mi- "Abortion is definitely a humane 

nuscule arid subject lo Ills whim. It alternative, while secret adopt1011 

was terribly hard-In India a divorced Is unbearably cruel" 

woman (especially a penniless one) is ................................... ... 

virtually a social outcast: Even riiy par- Amen to the anonymous woniari 

ents and farnily members brolte off who surrendered a child to adol~lion 

relations with me, as I liad "disgraced" I I years ago ("Letters," June, 198 I ). 

them-in spite of my liavirig been a Giving up my baby girl was tlie hartl- 

.............................................................. . 

7 l!)nl 6lr f r8hlrvlalon lot (-dt,t atlctln nod (.~~~~o~~v~un~r~~llllll. II~C All ltllllll ~a.sa.ovt.~I lJq:(l~l,lI1l~ 11011 ~!lt~ilttl 1.?11111\~1~.11 1' *ltlrll) 

~~#ol!ll~llrd Hr Ha:la,lnc 11SS11011.II~O1111l 

1% 11111~11%11ed r111~!11111). Ily 1.h 1 n ~~!~~l.~Ilou Iht 1 dur 511011 ntul C~IIIII>IUIIII~III(I~~. IIII . 111 

Wrrl 41) Stirrl, llrv Yolk. llrw Yrrth IIMllfl, 11 SA Cilotl.9 St(.1111~111. 131~s111~~111. l1a1t1# 13 C,~rt,l~>~, \ti c I'tt.,,i~lt.t>l To St., lt.1.1~ r'.', ,1111 

claw ~m$ln!)r 1101~1 nl llrw Yolk. 111, ahcl nl nrl,liltollol ln8nill!tq IIIIIvI.~ I.~~l~ll~nll~~r~ rlllflll>rr O;!llll~~Ii Atlclw%? ,111~,~011~111~~ 

rci~~rrlx~nclrn~t- II,NI Mar].~rlnt.. 110 U'rst .It1 511rrl. Ilrw Ywk. MY 10(1111. lI~,u,l~~i~t.J ill,,nt,,rt,ph unl twt 11. II.IIIIIIC,I tmlvr> 

nl~~~!nl~rr~lrcl lly lrltlln pn\tn,)r llnrh I?rur ct,llir. $2 W Slalrrrrll>lliltn I Ywt )17D(I. ? Ye,mr $77 011, .I Y~.illr 531~00 lr! lllr 

lll~llr~l Slql~)~. 111 I'I~~~I~~~IoI~s 

nl~l C'd!lnc1,1 II\~.*IIcw ncld $300 1x.r )'."I 1nt 11031,31)* Adt1nt.w all IILIIWIII~III~II r#lto~(~~(~ri~l~$ 

1.1 

,,,,hA, MI b\acla,lnr, Sulln fllltll~ll l)r~~alll~~r8~l. 1%) lirltl?!l St. Flntlcm. 1'1l~to 4) I112 I'l,\!rt~rrl~! I'lro\r srllal 1 01119 151ci 118 

*I* M, Mnqnrinr. 123 Gnt4rrt 51. Mntlc,,,. I>l,in ,411D2, l'~i~~lr~l I,) llbr ll~~llrd 51oll.r

L 

L 

.-... -..-........ .................. . . .. 

1 CVC~ 

had lo (lo. 'I'licrc arc be availal~lc to ltcr as it was not to rric, debilitilt:rig cllccts ol lorcccl cl1ll0l)ciir- 

cst tlil~ig 

Ihousorids 01 womcri wiro liavc iind to lor tier sake. (rinnic wilhlicld) irig, not orlly at tlrc tirrie of tlie l~lrtli, 

surrcridcr a child, and tlierc are or- 

i~ut ycors ialcr. 

gorilzatioris to liclp us gel togcllier. Like tliousanils of woriieti, I too I tcceritly loon(l a way to tell rily 

Frorri CUB (Corrccrrrcd United strrroitlcrcd rrry son-111 1966-be- story. Nol lori

' t .{!' , I::\ ' 

Birthparents 

. to . Explore.: : ::; :': i:, . , ,., 

The Process of A.doption '.. 

A Colorado chapter has been formed 01 ate 18; to promote a vbiuntrry Iynlem of 

Concerned Unltcd Blrthparenl~, Inc., a adoptlon wlth opUonc avrUrble lo all pariH8 

nnUonnl nongrdt organlrrUon of mon and hiolved: and to hrve adoption .a#ar)cbs 

women who luve lurrendertd chlldnu to lccept from conaenthg blrthpannts r,+am 

adopllon. 

ei from LhC conlldenUaUty agraemcd. 

CUB, representlng lndlvldurls dlslnll~fled CUD belleves that lbe prelent elid 

with Lhe adopUon sy8tem, la dealgned lor: system loaves each member of lbe a{op(lon 

Blrthparenta Interested La aharlng.prdb- trlaagle vulnerable to unnecesmary dam# e 

lems a#aoclatcd wlth blrthparenlhood; ' Knowledge of aecrecg relea er would 1; 

AdopUve parenh cooccrned wllb hclplng relayed to adopllve parent#, {~owln# Utqm 

lbelr cblldren reach fuU polentlal; 

acce~s Co lnformatlon they deslrr rd,sni- 

Aayone concerned wlLh revlalng rdopllon bung them to assure tha chlld of a welclme 

proccdlucr. 

a1 adulthood, ellmlnathg - the andeUer . . ruth 

conlaeta catall todny. , . 

Recent Intercat in tho adopt to^ prucus, 

paflcularly lhe quest of ad0ptee8 lor 

Florence Flrhrr, fourider of ALMA (~dopteett 

~lbertLlon Movement A~aoclallon), 91- 

orltha, has prompted CUB 10 let we public Uated 600 raunlona between &doptees a d . . 

bow blrthprrenls all0 are InteMkd In blrthparcnts, in which on19 three blrthpmrevlalng 

adoptlon laws. 

enla dld not want Lo be "found!' 

CUB alml lo be available to blrthchlldrcn ' Addltlbbdl ihlormrtloh rimaidlni CUE 

at a&e lq and lo rdopuve parenb prior to may be oblllnpd by:cllllp# ,W.@#ll, ,, , + ,: 

I . . . . . 

... 

.... ,. . . 

. ,.: ', . - 

2 

Birth nrents, inc., a 

orga zatlon of men 

have surrendered 

chil~lren to. adoption, has created n Colorado 

chnpter. 

CUB, representlng lndlvlduals 

dlssaUsfied wlth tla system M whlch &y 

surrendered chUdrm, Is for: blrthprrenb 

lntcreslcd In shnring problems nssoclntcd 

with blrthparenthd; ado Uve pnmnlr 

concerned with helping t R clr chlldren 

rench.fuU potcnUnl; nndinnyonc concerned 

wlth rcvblng adoptlon procedures. 

1Zixent lntere~t and controversy surrounding 

Urc adoptJon prom., partlculnrly 

the quest of ndopiee~ for thelr orlgins, 

hns promfled CUB to let Ure publlc know 

bldhpnrenlsnlsonrc Interested In revising 

ndopUon leas. 

CUB's objccUves nre: to be nvallnble to 

hlrtl~chlldren at nge 18 nnd lo ndopUve 

pnrenls prlor to nge 18; lo promote a 

voluntnry syatern of adoptton whcreln op 

tlons are nvnllable to dl pnrtleq Involved; 

and lo hnve ndoptlon ngenclcs nccept from 

coruentln~ blrtl~pnreng rclcwes imm the 

conflden~ltyngrclmcnt~ ,! ,, 

- 

ffiontedge of secrec~.'$&'rmv~tl bei: . ' 

relayed to adoptlve mob, a~~tban; 

a- to ~'ormaGihcy mbht.d&e. .,. 

embllnq them to assure Ule cMd of I 

welcpme at adulthd, eUdnating ths 

anrleUw suchconlncb enblltaLy. !, ., 5:: 

&B belleVe.9 the prwnt &wed sys* 

cf adopUod lcnves each r of the- 

ndopUon Vlnngle vulne* to w ,:! 

sP 

ncccJsnry u g e . me *d * +d .. 

fldentlallty Imposed h tR o 1 W !dthoM 

pear study, whlch Includes sealing d 

records, hnl shown to causepvem 

blcm for ndoptlm triangle npk13.. ,; \, '.:: 

Florarrco Flsher, founder d Adapt&'; 

UbernUon Movement Assodallon, ,I*:: 

IUnted 600 rruntona batween ndgtees Mi:. 

.I 

blrlhnnrenls In whlch only 3 

I 

did nit wnnt to be ''lo~d" 

Mwl bltthpnrenls, Uwugh Uley hiv'o:;!, 

f~sllloncd new Uvca r In the Inlervcnjng :; 

years, would not wllllngly ram~b.!.,, 

nnonymous to blrthclffldrcn who, 

tip. 

ndullhood, scek Uldr orlgins. 

AddlUonal lnformntlon rcginllng CUB 

:My btl obtained by k@phOIl& . m. 

.t 

.. 

'

For o w mother 

T d , 

- 

-7 

.wv 1. tm1 w-Dy. ham( 

: Fu~ton County Expositor 

i 

Vd 1Eak.26 

It's been a long way back 

- wld hvr gar b hr 

cblon Ln mr lh 70140 met cmrdYI.o. d -al "9. mllrrrd-hl*-u w.W%Y** vm'l II\wna u dm11 imtVIKfu n n mtmbm. "W'n alwa*. 1- la 

umtd m~pu.r~..~pm~rmpforrnoand .h. m. MY phDn U rem amlrw lor hu a mmlb. I hlp~slkcmu or1 11 lh cll~." Ih. nld cbbn hu .~r 

hve mndrrcd clUAm lo man 

riaU any, bll I had lo to go Ln(.m~~blhtl~UdWy~nlh~lrrlpW. - ~ r n 

"w~'r~htn~ldtol~~mlhe~m."uldG,lm"s~- stp~erf." WNchleadscbbnMo vplhrmm ha1 rk hui ud:k rmn .N !nfornun( lh pdu &u ih amcatr 

d~h~nldtrhmpumi.~omyra,lrimbuld ~ftlldhrdwb. rdaodtp khm r&?wra. pmU rhr yn 1.- 

!ads. W u U u, ahr DYmprar n hdps." "I h.4 lo h m a hvdawwmy." Ih. Idd. "I haw h.d lm muham ~Aprrnrrml~thrWdm uuolhtrhmr. 

YsnhofNB~ur.bna-rsll~mspm~,~d~ rm5, crhlmm A~lleml u&r d my hrmly, h h l n rud 

u VlDU 01 rnlMl ml&n. Itr ad ..Bararx. ~l~r mudnmlsl, ud my mahr hu haA m 1mUe nh * 

- 

nth(rmup 'qpnmna me *. 

pnrm,nonrn.m&rdowmUdrrnam~ au.~l. mn*, mxs. Th drun vkd m #boa my brmlr &lo1 VUI-r*Em'"nnsMrrq.nwnoni wwhrkf 

mu1 no r.7 d kmwu" * uld. 

Colon 

-.I 

r1 14 lo CLD arm* mulsdlnt. "I mull mme hm u I aby mh: 

,,kn, mu b- df 

lm.IIMtmm .On Mddolrc-d* PImr hlhl3 mmQuVn Ih. hr bmhrdmkhudrQr. I ~ImUlebmlm Ia~~nfrmhnpUMalhtrrhMre 

hmil* ncmmmemrd I c" lor mu-nL" rh Id d hr( nun. ou. "1.w aIn)r fdl Mmor, ha wfmmqoonrk Uodlrrlrlvrulpm~LrOm. '.Cl%ul#ywr 

lomd VYI. ,.I MW 10 br %m3n( -1 my I.mmrmdmDllblm-ndr~rh,,lb 

add up for w m Y LIF~ em-. Cm M r m for 

&"dim." 

ah-ma~rnmn-~rhs~mrrru.~d cbbmLLnddus nm hrnQ YW a~~~~ SldNlpmhq ,bu he cu wfa 

-9 ,m m. nL1.urU .-by ,- ,* -m.nA irm led 1n-i P-LL .w ~hn he m 

bLa.,fhm.h'rmg, 

Dlthy .,,tl~.pn, fU.orM LO )mu hn wbr. a d tw rrad sstm~~detoq 

m. *- 

-Id ''* had qm* Lh 

'J7whrll. a-.mq.mjur~~,m.m~~ -rbb/ W n I~H -in. ~ * C U B idth~ ~ I rum *om~h*Mo@lonuplmem'*'.urer.m*wM 

WI ~.pnn r ~ d mm a qmip 01 me*. ad I ~ t mbr n mar n-:' ~,"~hl~~~~~,*L'~:Y~,"~~sr 

I 

ue a- 

.-MY cm-t -=atha lht f mu lo V. n& lh Yld. 

%rumIyI:.M.heynuphrbdw. uN1d by rmmYnnw nn,~ , 

cbl~n's b"lr hu WPM '- ' hr k W m 1 hrr o w d wm' na .ha Ih. IU 

- 

hm bl1V.IIo-d mUTr rtD h.d UocAhm cbh"l.rnrloCLX.ndp*ar~rea~~~f.I. mrmrvrouof.hl.brclUIaci~~IadhlWahr~~ w"""'- 

mmcmm#nlb hr.lh rmvn ~loldlhre.*r m .\CUB hl&Cbpurrrlfmd.mCda-onolU. ~hln~~rrn~u~mlodop(lanm~ma"~loum* Hemrt nth a% hu nlpd a rn hr &VI. .II.I 0.m 

.arulrcdA.UedtrrklpU.b.bl. Fwcmdulddm. E m ~ ~ i r m p m mannrnuPmpinm, a ~ r 

hYbudmaLrmm.Q'm@O~uculfhuld'~~l'~ 4 mnmrn~~mammm~,~~~~..~~nnm 

maO,, 

me PW mfis rn hr bbl .my. yla xd, ou , a&*,. Thn u toe. by ''A lo( d W e raUYfdl30t~l fu lh @I aaWm 

wwc'nsl u*lo'ol= 

m. .* ,,. lh .,, .hn. lrnd mr vh, N. w,- rh,q.r rrrr a~dr, Lp. brdl kc- I amdrd Mo mar Lit-. b y lhnk m 

-rn' ulldolh 

lh 

.rd hl mk re. u, irr. inq dm 

.I 

- 

d m Or lay wd cbh -mn~ mmup rut d is@. d tnm pr. ~~~~~m1OhrnU~dp.nN.B~Id..r~U~hm b~wh:>,~~~~,~~~P ' -,, 

~Wwnmdlhbb~rulrldwloado.. 51s. ' -~*r~=rmanb~natd rrnm bnmrm~ tuhsowr ,* ,..* L.nh ud xm 

vom .nu wru. ru tad .~NNI a fr~rl. ma ~alon.t u.nb for hs -amer bed 

IS o&. .-I -.I PRnU hvr c.nd lor hr IU Ur+ ).an.)Irr lvlulY ..n 13 ~:d lh c ~ d irl m cnr "1 ow mmr. 3m 

pu UIU W r u nmlm lul).." Itr aud. mmnflrn~mlULIrtYllnrlMeunm~Ok mthrmUl4abola VlrfslhrrfherNld ilrtrml Wrlkt 

Il..sPp~1Mmrku.hnrN1Ja#~a Prnvtrdhvml w,J5.., w,m .Ic rcY. .I .oilldru .~ won' ?.n awn *elcrm~d , hrrw aNhs , lur. Icr)snw.horlod ~~svnepr~w~mlim~omlo 

fhrmmu~.,~~~. erm bll p n ~ uldfarnbk e 

m)xU he's 1U hl~ ma mu! Ewrf mca w w 1 

mlv rhld id mr nlcones mLnll,~s. Whn I Wy ilratd ~ ~ ~ $:zy&: , ~ $ ~ ' ~ m t: ~ ~ ~ 

.m~ol~m~1mll.hrh.dknlol4~ulmnunof~ r n u m ~ u d ~ r r SI ~ wmbUIF1rnr.x 

m ' 

.rnhmldmrm~lyl .hhdrmdl#uha -hu I:. Lhllmumllomlmm.a&nmTd~anl~Uut ~ " , ' ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ . t ' d l l " l h r m~4~dfu~k~lno;cidnn 

r i m ~ ' l n u 

iloim6em mu*k as. 

ihq YUI & .wup~lh~.of hruk mq .re mw. ,opes d wsr 90 fMl la& hs aumer a .null 

)OW -4 mdnw Uvvq mlh11 a11~1 tu WL 1 .~lh we uldd 

,blonnm mmr laof a hs hrmm oulcr mw 

!Iw tmrd Pd nth Urn r m n qd it 10 21, cam1 bm mly 3 rmla h m Paumll.. h@ hm" 

!*Im' 

rala urn m P*tull. nth a b o d rk decnk ,, .'Ulm I Ilrs u M w rrr on me pmm. I ru 

rolrsWndrnl 

rMd lo 

'at=r prma cWdm. 

For m.elLe1h.L 1:ml C& kmr. hat me MS r low 

'w~ng!dul. "Pr cmrd hd I. p. Irr Me or, brrurr. .*W lud cbla '%rndh- ad PU l~laru!.l'r. tnn kvv4 m rn lr&oon pas 

*" to iw b- un Imn= 

ih(~anm..ocut 11rnrnt.na ~ ~ tgo-. t u bu * 

LIU~ 11 .a snamd -1 17. lolhn~ forpu lor inn:'

. 

~ ~~.~ 

~~ ~ -~~~ 

.-.. 

~ ~ 

~ 

The pain and guilt don't just disappear 

By RENE LESSARD 

-.- - ... . 

Slrlf Writer -. 

More than I4 years ago Susan 

Dafigett. of Merrimack. had her 

first ~.. -. child. -.~~~ 

She - .- wasn'l 

~ 

marned 

at the tine and war not in a 

llnancial position lo support 

herself and a child, so she 

surrendered the child lor 

adopt1011 before learning 

whether the child was a boy or a 

girl. 

Since that time, she has found 

out that her child Is a gltL She 

knows whcrc she iives and lhal 

she is well, but she has never 

told her. "Dawn. It wasn'l loo 

long ago that I slopped wakinl: 

up at night achlng to hold thal 

hrhv" 

Mrs. S urlin and Mrs. 

Da ett Rave had other 

chlf%ren since that time. 

However, both agree, it doesn't 

make up for the loss oi the first 

their minds to the joint that 

lhey don't remember the sex of 

the child or the day . they .- aave 

birth. 

"I spent a lot 01 years trying 

to blot it all out and pretend it 

never happened." says Mrs. 

Dag ett. "It wasn't healthj! and 

I haia lotof guiltfeciinqs. 

Both women agree thal CUB 

hns helped them lo deal wilh a 

lot of the pull1 thcy carricd 

Which slcmmed -~ from 

~ 

beine 

r'qnant and unmorricdq 

avln a child and then dolng 

somcl%ing "unnatural" for a 

mother lo do - surrender that 

child. 

Bec?use thcy have had the 

experience bearing a child as 

an unwed molher. CUB 

members also have a strong 

Inlerest and concern wilh ten 

pregnancy prevention. Should 

an unplanned prcgnanc occur. 

members feel lhat an &.depth 

exploration 01 ail the options 

available be cxplalncd to an 

unwed mother to insure an 

Informed choice as lo which 

optionsheshouid lake. 

"Todsv, there are a lot of 

. ~- ~ ~ 

surrendering him to~idoptiii 

She says I1 her child had been a 

irl, she mlglll have kept her. 

% ut she felt stronRlY at the time 

lhat a boy should hare bath a 

lather and a mother and lhal 

added weight lo her decttion to 

surrender thechild. 

Tndav. however. -- with the 

divorce rate rising, she says she nitionai. nan.pmfli support and opunns ~vaiiabic to teenagers. 

wonders whcthcr thc cud does advocacy group for parenu who and statistics show iilat more 

indeed have a falher, whether have surrendercd children lor and more leennsc mothers are 

he is in goad health, and at ado lion. 

keeping their childrcn," says 

Llmcs. whclher heisscillalivc. 

T R group was organized by Sf. Daggelt. adding that 

Both women were told by Lee Campbell, now of regardless of what choice a 

~o~lnsclors ---.. -.-. - lo - forret - rboul il - nochestcr, In 1976 in 

makes. there are 

that they'd get Geer 11 2nd !he 

iiassachusctlr. In order to Psi;& repercussions about 

paid would go away 2nd thal 

provide ' women like herself. which persons should be in. 

there would bcolher cbldrcn. with a way to share lheir ex- larmpd. .. . .-. 

But the pain and the guilt periences, come to grips with "In lhc past, counselo:3. 

surrounding the binh md then lheir Icellngs, and an op- doctors and parenu presented 

surrender of thcir lint children. wrlunitv to work as an the picture of surrendering your 

didn'! SO away, no1 eien wilh 

irganizition toward child to adoption in a rosy 

~hc ..- l~~rthofotherchlidnn. "humanizlna adoption. through way." she explains. "People 

"I wasiold not to think about ch!n$es in the law." 

tell you that you will Iorqet 

it - that il would 211 40 away. It's a tremendous burden lo about it and thccl!ild will be in a 

But you can'l for$el-.?bout carry tho secret lhat ou 

3 

gmd homc, cle.. I don'l think 

child you gave binh to. The surrendered a child and h e you should surrender a child 

caring doesn't slop ahen ou wit11 the guilt aboul it." says under those lypcsol illusions." 

sign a paper, and it tlurts wKcn Mrs. Sourlin. "It has rcallv Bolh womcnsay they support 

you can't lind out uhether or been iiod lo have solnconc ib CUB'S undorsemcnt 01 o en 

notthcchildisevenative." says lalk to about these Leelings In adoption files and otRer 

Airs. Spurlin. 

CUB." 

changes in the adoption laws 

she says while speaking wilh 31rs. Dapgetl says many such as round table adopt~on 

her mother last fall, ker mother women push the lhouyl~l nu1 of laws, whereby thcre would bc a 

mediator to draw up a formal 

a n lrgallred pian that Is 

amenable to both lhc adoptive 

arents and birthparenu. The 

'negotiable righu ' in the plan 

could include such lhlngs aa 

aUawlng the blrthparenl par. 

ticipation in ihe sclcction 

process of adoptive pnrenlr or 

agreemrnlr (hat there would he 

complete anonymity on both 

sides tclosed adoption) untll the 

child reaches the age of 18 or 

ailowin the chlid access to 

iden~fjnng LnlormaUon before 

age 18, with the adoplive 

parenls'consenl. 

"People say that I ave UP 

my rights toseemy chiliand be 

a mother lo him," says Mrs. 

Spurlin. "But I never gave up 

my child's righls to know who 

hls birthparent Is!' 

A publlc hearing concerninq a 

draft of a model slate adoptton 

law b the fcderai De arlment 

of Xeallh ~duca8n and 

WeUare, w;r held last week at 

the Region 1 office In Boston. 

The proposal rcquacs thal 

adoplion records be opened to 

any adopted child over thu age 

of 18. gives natural parcnls tao 

weeks to reconsider reiinqulsh. 

mcnt of parental rights, allows 

a blologicai father lo claim 

custody, and on 

unlicensed person tfp~!ght to 

act as an agent for the parcnlr 

in the adoption. The transcript 

from that meeting will go Lo 

Washington for the con. 

sideration of HEW and a 17- 

member advlso anel In 

preparation of a %a! version. 

which the government will ur e 

all slates to enact to proviie 

uniform adoptionprocedures. 

"Therc is presently a case in 

Vermont where a glrl slgncd the 

surrender papers and then a 

couple ol hours later chan ed 

her mlnd and wanted to et fer 

child back. But she couqdn't," 

says Bln. Spurlln. polnUnq out 

that most contractc have 72. 

hour ciause$ whereby a person 

can change her mind. 

While many adoptive parenls 

have expressed concern over 

the new ado lion law as thcy 

fear l h ~ hthparent ma 

confront the child later, bod 

women say lhal while they 

would like to see the chlld lhey 

had, it is 1101 because the have 

a desire t3 take lhe chili [rum 

Ils adoptive homc and take on 

the role of mother lo thal child. 

Both said they would Ukc to 

et worn 17 the adoptive parent 

&at they would be wililn to see 

their children. if the chid was 

searchinqlorthem. 

"Somet~rnes an adolescent 

has prcning needs to know who 

interm~dlale reporlr from a 

middle party or the adoptive 

narenls as to how her son is "lor 

beaceof mlnd." 

"A birthparent may have all 

the information needed but 

wouldn'l just rush la and confront 

thc cud or adoptive 

narents." 

savs Yrs. Daeactt, 

ivhohz knodn where herUfhild . 

is for the art six months. 

"Sure !d like to see her. But 

you have to have some sen 

siUvit to her feelings and her 

adapthe parenu," rays Urs. 

Da gett. 

hs. Dag elt says she is 

olannine to find a mcdlnlar lo 

'contact ihc adoptive parenu lo 

5, 

let them know she is willln lo 

see her ch~ld if Ule child or ey 

desire. Accordlng to the two women. 

lherc are a number of search 

omaniralions which have more 

--w------ - - 

than a 90 percent success rate 

with reuoitlng adopted children 

wilh lhcir birthparenu and that 

In most 01 those cases thcre Is 

an ongoing relationship between 

lhetwo. 

Mrs. Campbell, founder of the 

organization is one of those 

birlhparenu who haa found the 

child she surrendered and who 

has arranged to see him and 

have Nm vlsit her occasionaUY. 

She recenlly appeared on the 

- .. - - . . .. . 

Phil Danahue teievislon show 

wlth other birth nrenlr who had 

been reunitel wlth their 

surrendered children. 

Since that time. CUB 

mimbcrs rece~ved numerous say they letters from have 

both adooted cNidren and birlharenu 

'seeking support and 

[el feeengs to come about ta terms surrendering with lhcir 

lheir children. 

~llhough Mrs. Da 

ett and 

Mrs. Spurlin both sib allcod 

monthly 

mceunar In 

Massachusetls, lhey ave also 

formed .-.~~.~ a CUB ChaDler in New 

Hampshire, 

Persons mterested in further 

information concerning, lhe 

N.H. chaplcr should wnle lo 

CUB, P.O. Box BI. Merrimack, 

N.11.0305( or call M)Jbl3.2770.

MANCHESTER IN.H.1 I 

. . .....-. 

f".. . . . 

., 

UNION ~ E~~~~l-lhursda~, May 29,1980 .-.... . 

- 

-1 Sen. Humphrey Criticized by CUB Of 8' src~crls' ' 

1 . 

- - 

- - 

I 

U.S. Sen. Cordon Humphrey (R-NH) has drawn 

criticism trom'otflcials of the Concer~~ed United 

Birtl~oorenls (CUB) orannizntion for his oouosition 

to llri hlodel ~doptlori Act, which ennbics ndull 

ndoplees to enin informntion nbout their birth parents. 

Mrs. Lee ampb bell of Rochester. "nlionnl 

president of CUB, snid thnt Sen. Humphrey erroneously 

slntes that if ndopted ndulls were provided 

with such detnils, "it would promote abortion and 

interfere with the confidentinlity promised both 

pnrents at the llme they surrendcd their child." 

, . She added. "That is almply not true." 

"In thc four yenrs in which CUD hns been in 

existence, we've received 14.000 lctters and nbout 

IrnII of them were from birth onrents who ex- 

pressed n dcslre to one dny knowihe children thcy 

hnd surrendcd for ndoption.? 

Mrs. Camubeli continued. " Only four letters 

, 

wore lrompersons who desired to mointoln thcir 

nnonymily." . . 

Among the lcltcr writeis. nccording to hlrs. ,: 

Cnmobcll. were "women who hod hod ubortlons 

nnd 'eouidn't fnce the lifelong nnguish of never 

knowing their children. 

. . 

"They urged us to keep fighting lor open re- 

cords so others would hnve more of n choice than i 

thr!v." .-.- ". 

hlrs. Cnmphcll snid thnt in opposing the hfodel 

Adootion Act. Sen. Humohrev nlso contended llrnt 

"biith fnlhers should nit nsiumc custody of their 

children born out of wedlock." 

She went on. "Among CUB memhcrs. t11erc 

nro birth fntlrcrs \v11o wishihey had such on opportunlty." 

Mrs; Cnmpbcll snid thnt Humphrey has nlsn 

tnkcn issue with n provision in the Act which "nllows 

birth lrnrents i4 dnys following tho surre~rder 

of their clrildren lo revoke their decisio~rs." 

"In any contrnct." she co~rtlnued. "the in. 

volved pnrties arc given n period of time in whici~. 

to chnnve their mlnds. 

"Wc'rc d~IIlln~ lrerc ~ IIII o trcmclldollbly imlrorlnnl 

decision, one wl~lch could hnve lifclo~~g re. 

percussluns." 

Slro concluded. "A revocntion period is dcflnitely 

in order". 

CUB, which lrns mnlnotflces in hliilord, hluss.. : 

i8.n nntionnl. non.profit support und ndvocncy or. . 

gnnizntlon for men nnd women who lrnvo givcn_up : 

children lor ndoption. . - 

Additional informotion nbout CUB may be ob-. 

1 tnincd by calling 673-2770. 

. 1 

"..h ", .. ., . ..:.. .. .. . .. .. . .. . .

~ -~ 

blmO 

- 

By ANN SCI~IR~LYIC 

sqxcmbrr issue of ctunour 

'CunlOrn m-. When aBcd wh%.~roubles, 

Urm atrml surrogslc mo0rP 

hood. 34 pemt of Ur re. 

sponGW9 SLllS! uuy UIEy. 

In@ on UIC mn(mwrx4al sub ddn't Ounk women JludId sell 

I*. ' ' ' ' " 

bable. 3 prctanl clltd loo 

Glamour mapme rrrPnUy many ununsuercd clhlwl 

qurslruns;tnd 20perc#'nt sU!rd 

there WOW 109 man\. ure 

solved lejinl ques1tor:s. 

com~uctrda nnuonal smy nl 

readen and round IhJt S2 prwnl 

ot young women tell lhal 

rWcs muplt*r should be 

ilbk to use mgale mnthprs 

10 bpar cblldrcn lor Wm. 

Tw~.IJunk: ot the respond 

cnk bowever. indlcalcd Lhcv 

MA not ibr n:tton 11 my 

U~CINC~~CSCOULU. I CCnCPIVe. 

A (dlh at Vlr rewnnndrnls 

.sad thrv would he nlltne to be 

mgoic momors. ~hc .iiud? 

uf I.IYi rcaden oppan tn the 

Same munlhx acn allrr an 

nppnnve hy EhwbcUI Kanc 

uo the I'lnl Uonahue Shw. 

mcmbemol CUBS (Canrrrncd 

Unllcd .W Parcnls) Lnnlcd 

lhnr members to nnle lhcc 

IWIINJS about surmmle molh. 

CIS. A bVLh pwnt ts a molhcr 

who h;ls wven up hrr clu:d ltlr 

adnpttnn. 

Mr.%. E:~nc. who IS tmnl 

mostly &cause of thc piy 

3,pcCI. 

One trtltr vrllrr fmm 1111. 

nols sr)d: "nc coo+ (d 

avrabJle P u c O ~ ) @ 

mwblr. hn . . . il ulnc m 

arelhry snanllocatoawrpa 

tat fee? 

An Alabama lrller unlcr 

wnlr, "\Fhat knd of mtouon. 

:elk ntmples dtfticulllcs utll 

11'8 Iraby) have lo deal mlh. 

L:.tntng thal .lhnhnm Llncoln 

do@ the &lhg human 

pubUcaUon hrs m( an 

brings dwkw Ws prrstdency ~ a received o morc ;tirut, 200 attlnal pmlllo& Pdttor Mrr. 

and \'PI here morc lhan IM rrptlw. . , . I son s14 "recaue w 1-1 ulat 

.pa6 -LW(Ib 8aby) was' ....It's a lenej new bind of surmgale moUwm M duped 

boo~hl and qld +tore hs adoplton." she char@. Mop 'and we don't lee1 wc can m% 

Wnn -'belwe cbn Us con. Uon m o b all Wnds of agony dcmn ppk for king duped 

cepllm." . . .- 

for the bmh mother anyway rnlosomelhlng lhey bow no* 

"I lhly twlleve modarc Pnd Wcr lor Ur adooled ed. 1n.q ;~houl." 

dornfi lhb lor Lhe monry and To deUbnately +aI:,. Ws RI parcnls, she add& do 

only the money." A West Vlr.. siblion u ndiculoua 

nnl Wu? Ihc Idea of ar(llidnl b 

urn rcspooderrl wotr. "Im ''Pmpk who adopt 'h\~! wmmalcan ellher. "I don1 

money. fcwcr svmgalc molh. bough1 Ur myih aboul how 11IY Ihlnk 11 rs n.5 lroumallc on the 

?I% ,' 

so wn&rlul. The bulh mother men as It Is on the surrogate 

,\ Ylorlda rcspndenl who Is otlen lorced by drcum. mothcrs, bul U dehhalely 

old 1101 hb iuur WIUI the mnce to choose lbLP nllcnu. malcua rwllarcluld.'' 

monclary mncrms, wotc: "I We. The adopllng..pumb I I ~ ~ r JWII I pent, ad; 

oemnallv valce mv onlnlon amn't gvmb. a twme Lo a cPUd Indiuhl Lhal bcrson. mv 14; 

wha net& om. they are ads* Is as much her son nuw a3 

-~ --.- - . ~ ~ 

~ 

Ing tor thew nun rlllsh rea. uhrn zhc Cave hlm xp tnr 

chew mulhcndo 1101 sdllcr lltc 50:s. They want to rase an In. ;Itlopflon. "Ynu nc\t.r s~np Iov. 

same problems thal other b~nh lanl." 

tnc lhal chrld m'a,:ks.r lhr? are 

~un'nLY have. lh3l Ihe prei?. IYw nrgammt~nn and tLs .wllhrouur not 

owl$ adopt~d chtldren do no1 

hultetr. that the chldren ot lhc 

*urrognte mother do not suf. 

fcr. If lhg~); can pmve lhal. I 

wuuld W i.~bc!!ll~ll lu rccon. 

aM!rr aU 1 I h3VC 

lurmid. . ." 

'The rilllor nrd \ace ~61. 

dent nl c'ozn~rn~d I'nil~d 

Blnh I'nmls. c'arole #laler. 

%.ud ncnln:r the ptru*,a 

(Ion nor t h bard hiId dr. 

\vl:ped an dktd pasllton ur! 

'srrogulr p;lnsnlmc. 

sk h~~m.lt, however. IS ap. 

~WlIr8 lhrstlutlon. 

"ntlr r~sclothr rr(lllPt 

tor letter* 8x5 ovuwhrlm. 

IqIy megallsr," she srM. Ibe 

ncUUUIrr clrcnlalrs 10 wine 

1- Mrch moUlcn In the

, Giving 

Up A Baby 

SECTION 1.' 

ING 

TODA 

~ ~ ~~~ ~ . 

SUNDAY. AUGUST 16, 1981 

educnllon, grltlng on wilh IY c&I.~,I.~, 

and bclng a slngle pnrenl," she says. "I 

A Ji~YEAR.CIl,D Toledo woman couldn'l nn myxll belng a good pa. 

now aldowed for 10 yean war 

rent. U lhuI's what I chm, and lhal all 

an un~narrld ul~~dcnt 01 Ohio SLpte llcd in wllb my seU.image at Lhc 

Cnlvers !y ahrn she hcamr prrgnanl. 

llme." 

Can 11. Da~~rn contln~~rJ alth her col- 

I'arl of lhat lmnge was created hy 

lege cia%c,cs, hul fcll slic hnd lo hide 

lbc envlronnirnt she was reared in. 

henelf haux, "that was par1 01 the 

whlch made hcr vlcw henclf "as lhe 

atlgma" Shc- was nsharnrd, ond hcr 

bad glrl who did lhe bad thlng, and 

parrnW reaction addvd to lhal Ircllng lhrt 1 WM paying for my mislakrs. 

of shame. There WM nolhlng in lhal cllrnale lhal 

The zwtal rlimalc nl the n1ld.60s 

made me feel ~ ood about ti~ysclf." 

wornrd llnwnl mr~lhrrllocd, and hcr 

Mm, burn nayn that when tho adop 

conrrrvntlvr, rr4igin1lr 1nn:Lly and lion was final, blrlhpsrcnh were - 

romn~anlty rnr~luri~gcvl hrr lo give the 

and sUll are, in mrnt l~lares - ex. 

haby up for a~lrl~tl~~n llc-r own pmon. plnl lo lnr~rlhc erprlcnce nnd 

a1 aslurati~~~is 81sr1 lml 10 11rr drrbir~n. 

plck sp from ll~crc. 

"I t,~l~!l~ln't SIV III!SI>II ~I~IIS~I~IIR III~ 

"E:niollu~~ally. 11 dorm'! rr.ally hap 

pen that way." 

Tho Toledo Junlor hlgh srhool !w: 

cr says that she prohahlv anr ahlv * 

put hcr crpcrlenrr hrhlnd hrr nlnrt. 

rully lhan Ulme who Ire1 they dldn I 

have a choicc. But il aUll wasn't casy. 

"You don't know whcrc thls pcrson 

13, and you conllnue In the convirllon 

thal lhat'r best lor lhal chlld. lo have 

two parcnlr. You ncvcr complclrly 

forgel. Uch of w (birth parents) has 

rnnlvenarla of evenlr," she says. Iha: 

caw lhem lo mflccl. 

For Mm. hum. lhcre k a cettalrl 

llme lhal she lhlnks more aboul th~s 

"unknown, growlng pewn more than 

any other llme of Ule year." 

Mrs. Daum says lhat she may ncl 

marry agaln i~~d. at 37, rcalizes she 

has few rcmalnlng ch~ld.b.arinl( years 

Thb, she ad&, has caused her to 

change ber penpcctlve on the child 

she let go. 

For several monihs she lras b.,~ n 

acUvely dealing with inlings that 

ahe'r "haulcd out on crcaslnn, lmkc4 

al, and p111 hack." Since her 1111sbanrl a 

dcnU! she has h n alone, so the CI'II 

mcmben havc komc lmporlanl I,, 

her for supwrl She haa come lo lrrtt... 

with much of what she may have lo 

f m U her son, 16, coma In her lor 

informallon about hlrnsell. 

"Thb mighl not happcn for a whllf. 

pet I would really llkc lo mwt and RI'~ 

lo know Ihls prsan, whenrvrr he 1% 

ready, and I hope someday he iJ ready 

for ihat. 

"DeIorc I ml~hl 

not havc hccn rcady 

- lhe syslem dldn't let me lhlnk 11 

wiu possible. Sn I dldo'l considrr 

mnllng him bcfnre. Now It's OK In 

nly mind lo do so, and I ant no1 afraid 

of havlng lhal hapl~n." 

If him. naum rrre faccd wlth tl~r 

mame dwlslon in the same rnvlr~~r~. 

menl, the resull POIIIII bc the sarnr*. 

she lays, alth one cxccptlnn. She 

would have "some form of contact 

with the parents who are ralslng our 

mulual chlld." 

If shc could go hack, she would start 

Ion8 bcfore the blrlh of her chlld and 

"change evcrythlng ahout mlety an11 

lhr ray I was ralwd. In ordrr to hat? 

ninrle m!.wlf lhr Iwvn whn a1nt.111 

hiwe bcm rnpohlr ul hslng u pu~l 

parvnl nI lhnl I;..... "

Three women talk about why they gave 

. . 

their children up for adoption 

Continned From Fht Page 

MAUMEE woman docjn't have to 

year-old son. She wu able to vkit hlm 

lhh Year 

Connie Ashley wrote to hh adoptive 

family to learn how he war, and to let 

them Loow how she cdd be mnlaaed 

U he ever had quetlons. His adoptive. 

mother &led her. and a visit fol.' 

lowed. 

"I was a nervous wreck. It war awkward 

at fht, but hh adoptive mother 

made it easy - she was wum. I'm 

sure she felt threatened by me, hut she 

wanttd what was bat for him." 

A waUet-shed photo album holds 

pictures from the visit, whlch show 

her wilh her fhtborn son. David, and 

hh adoptlve.famHy. 

hlrs. Ashley answered Davld's ques- 

UON about the adoption and his hiolog. 

1 'YLfzi there was no nagging parental 

pressure or mllege and career 

goah lbat made her and the tattler 

give the baby up for adoption when 

she was 17. 

"We wanted to do whatever they 

(their parents) lhought best. We knew 

we were young, and that marriage was 

out of the question." she says. And if 

they had marri~d they would have had 

to Uve with his or her parents. 

"I couldn't lake the baby home, I* 

cause at that time, you just didn't do 

that. and I didn't feel it would be falr 

lor my parents to have to rue any , 

child, whlch In a senre is what they 

would have been doing." 

She decrik the lather as "very im. 

mnture" at tbe Ilme. "I don't lhWI he 

pallzed that it was a child, and that it 

was hh chlld." 

So. the families said adoptron war 

kt. 

She went to a Florence Crittenton 

Home In the Cleveland area where h e 

Uved. When David war born be wen: to 

a Imlcr home, and she returned la her 

parents. 

Then came the calls from the social 

worker, who told her to "think of the 

child." When the calls began to overwhelm 

her, she signed adoption papen. 

"I kept puttlng iL off because I was 

lhlnklog that something would happen. 

and that I would be able to keep him. 

hut it never turned out that way." 

She says that her husband is very 

underslandin~, and that she told the 

younger children about David when 

she located him. Thelr response was 

hood. "My 13-year-old asrr-1 a few 

quntions, and would llie lo rncd 

Dnvld." 

Since thc visit, shc flus dgrerd *r.lco 

his adop.~.'~ mother to WIII~ unt,. 

David .s older before she makes fur. 

ther conucl. Shc s.ys cha dn.rsn't nwrl 

rnorc tuntact now. .wauv,Q*.qe ha.. 

puce of mlnd ' :t -mu !hat he :.. 

alive. K .I.. nd t.4. 

with ~I.S !~.,~:ly. 

"Fur IlGW. 1115& s t ...~Uct. 

'I 

2 gwt' reIdt.ol~ahlp

- 

~ - 

. ., . . 

. ;: ;.,, , ' .. .. . . 

, ,_, I . . . .,. .I.. .. Giving 

Up 

...-. - -.. .- 

A Baby 

.- - . -- ..---. 

about why they gave 

r adoption 

BY ROSE RLXELL STEWART 

Blade SWf Wrller 

F 

OR YEARS. ~lcteg cu1y sur. 

feral pill and p.lp lor havurg 

plvm up hr BOO lor adoption 

when rbe ru an unwed lee+.' 

ager. 

"My mrrmdcring htm wu Ue a 

pycbolo@ul mpuutloo. Ue r pan 

01 ma Is out ud Ue 1 could not 

go m in my Ur" 

Only In rsent mon(hc hu she come 

lo pip rllb rh.1 she did 20 pun 

ago. She aor rrrllrs that ibs decislon 

lo plve away hu child war wl her 

om. 

"I nurrndered hlm bcuw I wu 

UrIMW!ed, blue of parental prasure, 

and becauw of prezrure from the 

soda1 worker," Mn. Catty, who hu 

lour younger dsU:n, wp. "I W u a 

bad m-" 

US. ChRn Is coordlaalor lor the 

cerned United BLr(bparenU. Lnc. The 

natlooal wnprofil suppon group lor 

thme wbo have gven up children lor 

adopllon h;u abut 25 l wl memhcn. 

Mn. Carly, who up she has her 

husband's support. h the mother of 

lour other children. The larmly plahv 

lo move lo lodluv uan. 

Mn. Cany say thrt she and oUlerv 

are, lo a s?rue. "cummg uul ul thc 

cloyt." 

She and two other women - a 

wtdow wtth no other children who 

dwn'l Lnuw where her san IS. and a 

marned woman with other children 

who bu me1 her llntburn - reeenlly 

- - ~ 

~~~~~ 

>in (*arty malh lhal when %he 

wu ?rrcaunt. no one luld her whcrh. 

er she wnnld to keep Lhe bhy. and 

she wasn't allowed lo wr him lltcr he 

wu bra But she saw hlm anyway. 

when abe staked Inlo Ule nunery lor 

r pck. 

she got J Job at r Dslry Queen and 

found r place lo Uve. abe mnlh whlle 

slung lo her Perryrburg home. 

"I Intended to keep him. Even In 

thcw Ulrre montiu (before lha adop 

tion). 1 wer thought that 1 wu plvlng 

blm UP." 

DUMg lhr1 Ume. the racial worker 

kept Lnur(lne lbpl she relearc cbc chlld 

"lo parenu who aould love hlm. And 

then om day I couldn't stand 11 my 

longer. and went in and dpal ih 

p a P 

"U I had nude the dechlm mywll. I 

would have been more codortahle. 

but it run't my om decllon. I dldn'l 

know if it wu the rlght thlng lo do. 

md until I mat hlm. I won't know. He 

can glve me the uuwen." 

Two yean ago, b. Carty tried lo 

glve mfonnallon abut henelf to the 

nonhm Ohio agency thal ollldakd ln 

the adoptton. Aulhontla "lold me they 

bed duuoyed record% and lhey aaid 

Y far as they were co~cerned I never 

had the chlld." 

Through raurch she learned her 

son's m e and when he Uvu, and bu 

conucted hir adoptive putnu lhrough 

a thud puty and by letler. They have 

not rupondtd. 

She erplrlnr thal her inlentlow are 

not to durupt hir home, but lo learn 

sboul him. and lo provlde lnfomauon 

abou: hersell ln case he ever wuu 11. 

"I don't wml lo apprcuch hlm h- 

c a r I unk he stlll Llvcr m the adop 

ltve home. And calling him now. I we 

ar a porenllal conflict between htm 

attd the porenu becnuv of me." 

Rut 11 she knew that he were no1 

livtng In the adoptlve borne, sac 

wouldn't hestub? lo ronuct ham. If 

lhey rvrr mlxl and he wanu lo duvelup 

s relauanshlp. "that would be 

Itne, and if not, then I would undrr. 

swnd. I look at hlm not only u my 

chlld I had. hut u m adult WlLh cqu~i 

rtghu." 

~

~~~~~~~~~~a~ 

.. r .: % ., Classified 

Shroud of secrecy: clouds adoptive quest 

Signed papers not severing bonds of motherhood 

By Esther M. Bauer 

' , : ' 

SaS Wrlnr of 7hs Nnvr . . 

When she signed her name on the 

adoption papers. documents she 

knew would forever forfeit her tight 

to her newborn baby and even the 

little girl's new identity, the womnn 

believed she was endlng nlne 

monthsol turmoil and stoning over. 

She wos 25, unmarried and secure 

In the nnonymlty of the Ednn Clodney 

hlaternity Homo in Fort Worth: 

she waccomforied, knowing thnt her 

nume and that of her bnby's ndoptive 

parenu would remnin shrouded in 

permanent sccrccy. 

For nearly a deade. tho conliden. 

tiality guaranteed by lnw insalnted 

the tall, slender woman from the SGcinl 

stigma she tenred nmong her pro. 

fesuonnl colleagues in the West 

Texartown whereshe worked. 

But shonlv before her daughter's 

11th binhdni Karen \~rl~ht.iicrcos- 

tn~ly bnunlcd by the mystcry of her 

chili's benlth and wherenbouts. 

turned agolnst the same laws thnt 

earller hnd provided comfon. She 

discovered the laws nlso prevented 

her from renewing n bond of motherhood 

thnt couldn't be severed by the 

stroke of open. 

hln Wright tnrned to a surreplltious 

senrch - e growlng movement 

nmong blood relnUves sepnrnted by 

ndoption - in nn nttempt to get the 

informotion prohibited by lnw. 

h t hfny hls. Wright. now 56 nnd n 

Dnllos resident. found out tho nnme 

nnd locntion of her dnughler. She 

hnd used unorthodox measures, men. 

sures she declines to dlscuss, to clr. 

cumvenc the lnw. 

"I don't think I would have ever 

been absolutely snUsfied untll I knew 

who she wns." Ms. Wright said. "Just 

knowing her nnme keeps me in nice 

wnrm little feelings day in and day 

out. 

"I hnve no need right now to flnd 

her, to see her, m talk to her, and 1 

also feel like it's potentlnlly dnnger. 

ous for her to do thnt right now. If 

she were 18. I might tolnlly chnnge 

-the wny I feel." 

Mn Wrlght's dfslre to know, how. 

ever. is in cnnfllct wlth nnother 

group that nlso hns the rlght of eanfl. 

denllnllty - ndoptive pnrenls who 

clnim they have nssumed n ruponsi. 

bllity to rear children wlthout inmi. 

sion and disruption. Adoptlve par. 

enls' rights are gunrnntccd by the 

snme low thnt mnndntu the child's 

blnh md ndoptlon records remain 

senled. 

Texas end most ocher states pro. 

vlde legal accesc to orlginnl birth certificates 

only through orders of tlie 

coun. The laws ore under increasing 

nttnck from ndvocncy groups that 

claim the sealed records deny ndop 

tees Ulelr constitutional gunrnntew 

to duo prrress of law nnd cqunl p m 

tection 

Increasing numbers of adult adrlp 

tea hnve turned to dozens of senrch 

orgnnizntlons throughout the coun- 

Iry to help them find thelr blologicnl 

parents. 

Tom Damurn, a JOyenr-old Dnllar 

veterinnrinn. is nearing the end ol' a, 

StcSIiROUD on Page 30A. 

-. 

.D.;wn, in her room nt :he Edaa G!sdca7 Mares3.iqMomz ., ..A ?rill .-. #ire hu hby up for-..- --..A : 1 

I 

I

J d ta,d.-. W d e n # a w ~ & 

;f 

0/7 Q /JJ Ll C #' 

..< 

!& .::/ 

. 

* . .%' 

.* 

. . .' 

I .: .. 

. . . 

. . a .: > - 't 

.... ..., . i , ; ,-.;.-. 

!,. .. , . 

. , . !, 

" . . .-~... 

". 

EJ.~tbrrcrl b.idvoco;ry organizclrffon formed . >.. ; 

> . . ,. :. .-/. -, 

I 

... 

f~ i~elj~ bi~ibpa~-enfs cope with concerns 

. 2 4 

,,'I 

. . 

. 

. , 

. . 

---. 

. . 

! 

.... .._. 

.-_ 

. -. 

...... : 

. . . . . . 

'. . . . 

.. 

t ., ., . . 

. . . . . 

. . . . . ,. . &&el- 

. 

........ 

'4 

By JAN JENNINGS 

~M!.D~JEUIYYWCE 

ADOPTIVE parents Linda and Ed Wilson 

ED AND LINDA WILSON \VITli 'FIIEIR FAMILY 

............. 

"1 feel they have a storybook-perfect family with 

. . 

. their two adopted children. cacy group for women and men wlto have sur- 

"It's such an emotionnl and wonderful expe- rendered children for adoption. - . 

i ' 

'1 

' . rience to have these clliltll'cn," said Linda Wil- \vent through all of the shame and upset 

. j son. "And we feel very deeply and yrntcfully from my parents," said Mrs. Benson, who was 

r- 

: . 

.. 

. .- . . for their birthparents." 

J : . 

15 when she had her first child. "It was a time 

-;. *-' 

i',,:? ... !...;,,. 

Blrlllparents Nils and Randee Benso~t, who. of frustration - but I wanted to have that . 

..... ,vi , j gave up a child fcr adoption, say they also have child. 

i 

I. q; 

f 

. a happy family. But they experience a constant 

, ,*. ....... 

" ~ that t time, birth control was not avail- "IVe rvant people to 

' 

I* ~,..II; L11t:ir love !,:if11 tli[!!r ci111t!re11 - 

I I L I I I ~ rs ~ org;~nizi!~. I , 01 Il~~Siin' i';i.-,:3--- :JISVL,:, . ... 

::~;I:I~I*~I!!:! :I~IIII~ (;icir ;I,. i .:;,:I, 

(.'!I;III~[!~ if Concer~cd I;III~.c~ ~ ~ I ~ ~ I I ~ X I ~ C I I ~ S 

(f'ilfi), ;I n;~tlr~rtal, nun-prcefit supl~i~rl :irtd lclvo- 

.3ktt.IIJOI~~, 

I:.:' 

1 .:t 

ft 

. 

r 

'. : , . 

.- .-,.. --...... 

--. 

..

6 t e Laws Are .Major 

Problem, for Adoptees - 

IIORVATH Only "non-ldentlfytng" fncls cog br 

Sun Staff Wrlter 

relensed - fncts whlch wllt not Iden. 

There nre few thlngs os flnnl ns tlfy elttier btrthparcnl. 

the process of ndoptton. It Is n door Some people sny closed records 

tllnt forever concenls the locis nbout nre necessary to prolect the prlvocy 

nn odoptee's blrth. 

of the .blrthpnrent nnd the t~istttutton 

There Is Illtle, wlthout the help of of ndoptlon. They nre people like 

the courts, thnt con be done to open Jenny Pnrker, prestdent of the Ohlondoptton 

records once they nre bnsed Rlghts of Adoptees' Pnr~nki. 

senled. Court orders to open ndoptlon ' Parker's group belleves open 

fltes nre seldom granted, usonlly only records would 'endnnger ndoptlon. 

if I! Is medtcatty necessnry. 

"There would be no prlvncy or securt- 

In -. Flnrlda. - .-. -.. the . inw s~ecifles ex- ty to It nt nll. It would not be the some 

nctly whnt tnformntlon can be putted 

from ndoptton records If requested. (See ROADBLOCKS on Page 10A) 

BY PAULA 

From Page 1A 

as glvlng blrth," she explatned. 

But more ond more, it is people tlke 

Maureen Berrett end Luke Gnrrlson who 

are speaking out. They soy closed ndoptlon 

fltes ore stnte4mposed roadblocks lor ndoptees 

senrchtng for thelr orlglns. 

Berretl, on Old Town restdent and on 

ndoptee, comptnlns thnt her senrch hns 

been hnndlcnpped by such lnws. Slnce 1077 

she has been trylng to get Informatton 

nbout her birthparents to no avnll. 

'I ftgure I'm bntlerlng my heed ngalnst 

n wntl," Berrett sold. "I want to know who I 

am for my own self. Adopted chlldren hnve 

done nothing, yet they suffer lor thelr 

(blrth) pnrenls' nctlons." 

Berrell sntd she hns hod "doors 

slnmmed in my face" durlng her senrch for 

lnformntlon nbout her ndoptton from n 

Chicngo orphnnnge. She has not even been 

nbte lo ftnd her orlntnnt blrth certlftcnte 

desplte n court order Issued In her behalf. 

Gnrrlson hna been searching lor the 31ster 

he never knew for over n year. He too 

hns run Into state-Imposed rondbtocks, but 

hls troubles arose In Oklnhomn. According 

to Gnrrlson, his younger sister wna put up 

lor ndoptton ns*a bnby when the patr's pnrents 

hit flnnnctnt nnd personnt dlfflculttes. 

Because he was older, the Gnlnesvllle mnn 

stnycd wtth hts pnrents. 

Ile hns lrled to locate her through the 

fltes of n Tutsn ndoptton ngency, but hns 

been unsuccessful. The fltes are closed. 

"The only wuy I could get them to open the 

fltes would be because of n henlth dlsorder," 

he sold. 

Jle gtves the senrch another slx months. 

By then he wllt hnve exhnusted all the 

nvenucs legnlly open lo hlm. 

Gnrrlson ndmtts it is dlscournglng. "I 

don't know, by thts ttme nfter 28 years, she 

rnny even hnvebstopped looking," he sald. 

Both Derrell and Gnrrlson blame much 

of llletr lock of success 011 state tnws thnt 

close ndoptlon records from the moment a 

blrthmother pub a pen to the formnt ndop- 

Uon document. She and other ndoptees who 

also nre senrchlng for thelr orlglns fnvor 

throwlng ndoptton records open on the 

request of ndoptees. 

, Accordtng to Anne Slngte, coordlnntor 

of the Flortdn chnpter of the Adoptees' 

Llberty Movement Assoclatton and an 

adoptee herself, It is the ndoptee whose 

rlghts nre viotnted by closed adoptlon records. 

"The ndult ndoptlve parents mode n 

chotce, the blrlhpnrenk at least knew whnt 

wns golng on. The ndoptee 1s the only one 

who never hod any rights, nny options, any 

chotces," Slngte sold. 

"Whnt annoys ndult ndoptees most is 

thnt everyone else cnn rend thelr records 

except them. The clerk of courts cnn rend 

them. The judge can read them. They nre 

asklng me to llve up to an ngreetnent thnt I 

wns never questioned about or asked to 

slgn," she snld. 

Lee Cnmpbetl, prestdent of Concerned 

Unlled Blrthpnrents Inc., sald her group 

also supports the openlng of ndoptlon re 

cords over the obJecllons of some btrthpnrents 

who belleve open records would 

endanger thelr prlvncy. 

1 *Blrthparenb do not requlre'stote prrtectton. 

They most certnlnly hnve the fnclli. 

ties to hang up the phone, close Ule door, or 

Issue n restrnlnlng order." 

Both Concerned Unlted BlrthpnrenL~ 

nnd Adoptees' Llberty Movement i\ssocln 

tlon hnve estnbllshed nnttonwlde reglstrleb 

thnt attempt lo mntch ndoptees wfih blr. 

thpnrents. People senrchlng for thelr orb 

glns can send ldenttfytng lnformntlon to the 

regtstrtes, where It wlll be compared with 

Informntlon sent in by blrthpnrenk, ndoptees 

nnd ndopttng pnrents. 

Florldn Is one of seven stnles that hus 

chosen to set up slmttnr reglstrles. It. 

founders nt the Offtcc of Vltnl StnttsHcs SII 

the regtstry will begln nccepttng npplll 

tlons of people wtslitng to be Included In 111 

reglstry wllhln the next liiree months.

~ 

A Search 

For Peace 

I 

- 

By PAII1.A IIORVATII 

Sun 51a11 Wrllrr 

In lhe IlrplnnlnR lhrre wns only n nnme - 

Corhlll - nnrl PDGE alter pn~s 01 nenlly lcllcrrd 

nnlcbmk nnprr tnnlnlnln6 lhe nddrmen 01 Cor. 

bllU lrom hllnml lo Alnhnma. 

Thnl nnd n vngur unrrrl lhnl came lrsm the 

Unknown werc all 1.nlr U'rbb hnd when she sfan 

ed n sfarch lorhrrorl~lnsln lhc rprlngaf1881. 

The 41-ymrald Gnlnravllh woman. Ilkc sn 

crllmaled 8 mllllan other pcoplc In lhls counlry. 

11 adopled, And Ilk? tnnnyol her cnlllrmmrarle% 

&he IeII a nrcd lo know son~elhlnp morn lhnn lhr 

cryvI1c lnformntlon rontnlncd nn n blrlh ccrllllcnle 

nr lhnl her molher's nlaldcn name hod ken 

,-^.*,,, -...".... 

DuI I(arthr3 such nr Wcbh's hnbr I~nllcd a 

~onlrO~?my nmOnD lhme pmple mort lnllmarrly 

Ilnmra la odopllon - Ihr adoplrer Ihrmlclrrs. 

Iherdoplln~ pntrnu and lhr blrlnpnrmlt. Swll. 

Icelly. 11 I1 Ihe quclllon 01 scnlrd ndhptlon rr. 

COrdYlhal hnr the larltonl wnrrlne 

~o",:",::h~~~~~l~~~ 

.as not rtnrrhlnl lor 8 lnmlly. I otready hntc a One )rat rolllcrll~ry hads'.uplrd osno 

xondltlul lamlly: Webb Uld. 'What I nerdrd She hardly cave her sdopllnn .r(.%hJ 

Wnllntrcl l~htmrd. I ncrdrd lo have the Frore 01 

mlnd lhol comn Imm knowlng rhall brhlnd 

.. -. - ~ 

lhovrhl wnllc crn*lnl uo She xenl 11, ~.~nln. 

sch&l.~rnd&lrd and mnnlcd. 11 \nm'l ualnl sh; 

be@n hirlnl chlldrm 01 her own Ihnl she l r ~ ~ o 

~ ~ ~ l ~ 

only 

~ 

a lew 

~ 

monthr. I1 

r ~ 

was 

$ 

s rrnrch 

~ 

pvnrltlalcd 

t 

hy -1 nlhcd my pntrnls quntlons nbnul "9) udop 

ldaplee can tlln are lh,l won.l ~~Incmntr. unlike other adovle- who report llon rhrn I wsl nboull~. Thry nlrays onrrcred 

Identlty ellhcr bldhpnrml. 

dllcou~nnlns and l~llles IrnrchM ump 01 m lrulhlully mr lhry could, allhough lhcy knew 

lnlormlllonsermtd lo loll Inlo her hp. 

very IIIIIc.' she rilld U'tb 1c1 the mntlrr rnl 

Othen MY record+pmln~ would be an lnva AI tlnt she knew very llllle - only blls 01 un~ll the rptln~ of 1081 -hen the hnpprnrd lo 

tlon of prlvacy and 8 brrach of !he conlldenlhll lnl~rmnllonconlrlbvlcd by her adopUngparcnlt. nollrc 1 bvllrtln In lhr ntnleller 01 a group 

IY itreed upon hy bolh the 8dOpllon aKmCY and she knew her blrthdny - Sepl. 2% 1935. She, known m ALMA, the arrm)m lor Adoplm' Llb- 

Ihe blnhparmu when lhc chlld warllven up lor knew she hna been born In Tampa and her molh. my Movrmrnl ~rwcls~lon. I1 lold ndcplrcs 

odoptlon. er's mnldcn name. where la wrtle lo rccelrr all the lnlonn~llon thal 

Yet. wllh or wllhoul the help ~Iadopllon amen. wcbb had bccn adoplrd rhea she war z wn.~rs.~~y nrnlloblc fromth~~r adopllon 151- 

CY record*, adoplen llka Wchb are ncarchlnt monlhs old from lhc Daddy Fog# llamc In Jack. She rrat lo the addrm mod recelrtd reply 

Thelr mrlhodr dlller, bul !he rraIoN for lhelr ~onvllle by 8" olner couple from Soulh Rorldn slnllnl 1h.l the ndopllon .~ncy would pmvldc 

search are ollrn lhcmme. 

who were 11nnhl. 10 have chlldrm 01 lhelr own. 

-1 wm 1101 selrchll~ lor love. 1 have 1beL.I. Sbe ru the second chlld adnplrq 4 lhe coupla. 

1% ADOPTED a. Page MA) ' 

. . ... . . 

i .:I 

Adopted nlly meel the roman who had abandoned her 48 yenn be. Alva: Webb sld. 

tore. 

From Pa#c 1.4 

But Ocdbee lold her no-.sdull daushlcr lhnl she knew. 

.I1 lwk a 10101 pL1 beaurc lhcre was IIIII lhsl bulc derp In bcr heart. Ihal her blby would be goln~ lo mmcone 

her wlth nll lhc lnlnrm~llon IIcould.She learned much. . 11-1 rrltctlon.' Webb -Id. 'Clrlt werc dllltrrnt bark lhrn. who wmld be able I0 rjve her more lhan nnythlng she 

From her fllea she found out lhnl her blrthmolher hnd 11 WUI 8 shnmc to have 1 baby out 01 wcdllxk. 1 had humlll- wouldbr lblelo provldc. 

quII ichool a1 I3 10 care lor her MYC~ brolh~n and slllrn aled her once. I dldn't wen1 la hunllllnle her npln.' 

Alln 111. whnl could an vnmnrrlrd woman provtde an 

aner hcrarn molher had dledlnrhlldblrth. 'I owed her lor my Ilk. I renlllcd how much my renl lnlanl daolhltr? Webb's blrthlather hnd no1 even lold God. 

The drl known only la Webb by the la,! name ofcorhlll molhrr murl have loved me lo dve mc nwly. I loved her lor bee hlsrral name brlore hedllappeorcd. 

became pregnonl nt 1.3 nnd wu sent lo the Salvallon Army whnlihe dld. I dldn'l want ID hurt her.' 

AllhmU~ Cadbce manicd shortly nllrr she gave blrlh. 

llomc for Unwed Molhen In Tampa la ave blrlh lo the Gllhelln~upnII her stren4lh. Wcbb cnlltd Lorrna Md. Ihc marday lmled only long enough for her lo bear onr 

dlughrershe wauldnevcr rnlse. 

bee. I1 warllnally l~rrcd the two would mrel the ncxtdsy. chlld. Wrbb'r hnlklsler. ~nrr her dlvorre. she marrlcd 

And the lovnd oul where her mother haa llvrd: Alvn. ~e~bremembenlhed~~vlvldly. agaln lo U~mln Godbee. lhls llmc lor 8aM. 

Wlln thal name rbc could hope lo unlock lhr puzzle 01 her 

The mple never hnd much money - he warn polntrr 

orltlnr. and the held down a vartcfy ol low.payln8fobr:They were 

Aller 11% yenrs. her Its1 of CorbltY addrmn Webb had ''1 U'MS nolscnrrhlng lor lol'c. I have that, roar.@ pcople.'Webh lound oul. 

mlhcred lrom Phone books cnmc In handy a1 last. Accord I ws no1 ~carchlng for fnmlly, I 

Mnure were lnkrn lhat day and durlnl olher suc. 

already 

reUnlo~*llh her relallve lbll were 10 %Cur In the mnnlh 

turroundlng her record'kcrp1nfi Alva. lherevcren~ne~lrlnglnLhesrrn have o ~vonderful farnlly. lVhnf Inceded was to f.1. - plclure, 1h.l webb huproudly ,,laced in a ph,. 

D llny lown nrar Fort Mycn 

She srnl lrllcn on a Thunday. 'I uld lhal I lust ronled I0 feel Ilnlslrcd. Inccded lo har.c thepeare Ioalbummd readlly slo8~lovbllon:She @.shed me locr~: 

mmc lnmlly hlslory. I lald them lhnl I1 lhey ever wondered Ofmlnd (hat ebmrs front knolvlng ,,,hal~ 

her momnu. but I rouldnl' WcbbMld. 

uh.1 hmd hlppcned lo mc (hot IwwOK,'IPerold. 

IeI1 I lold Gcorp I only wlsh I could IeII momn: 

SDIurday mornlnglhe phanc rant 

behlndyou." 

and daddy .@In how much I love them? Webb wlcl 01 hr. 

'It WPI a man and hc mld I1 you're a Cotbltt you beloog - Lols Webb ndoptrd pannu who had dlcd sevcr~l ycnn belore. The, 

here wllh t v Webb rcmrmben 01 lhal volce whlch prw 

hld btcn to(a1ly supportive 01 lhelr dnughlrr's search an0 

,plied her IO lorcclully loward her past. 

ev~noll~red 10 help Inany ray lbeycotlld. 

SO webb end her husband. Grorw, packed lhclr car lor 11 war around I0 a.m. on Aug 18. 1981 whrn lhc Webbs She mlked that Godby had prnphulxed her.dnuyh, 

the lrlp lo n lown named Alve. In lhc crater of the llny drove up lnlo the Oodbea' Iron1 ynrd In ihc Polk Counly lcr's lllr mncclly.'l had to much more than I ever would 

communlly lhcy mrl a slranger who shrphrrdrd lhem to l0.n 01 Elobc.The IhoUgBt rtlll brlneteanlo Webb'scyn, have hld wlth her:Webb~nld. 

Ihr palrlnrch ol lhe Corblll clnn. mere rlllln8In n cbalr Wara bbck.hnlrcd womsn wllh Allhacm lhe rchtlomhlp bclwren hlrlhmother an& 

Webb rrmemkn ihal mtelln8 well. I1 war the llnl llme sparkllnl8reen eyes snd I molc, rlol here.'Webbsnld, her daughler tullllled Webb's need lo dlrrover her orlglns. 111. 

she wa, lo coma lmce lo lace wllh anolber pemn bearlng ryes brlmmlnfl a, she plated ID sn ldenllcal mole on her mnny rvrb rrunlon* 11ru no1 one whlch nectsnrlly wnc. 

the black hnlr and ree en ryn whlch arc the mark 01 the chln.5he looked at me 8nd mld.'Yel. I know II'I you!' have endsred. Toa much llma had parud. Too lllllc It.! 

Co~blllt- IenIur~1 Loll hencll had Inherlled. 

*She told mcshe had lwkedal Ihedwr 100 tlmnin bcr brcnsaared. 

-Well. Iherc'a no doubl abovl 11, you came out of ller. llle cnllln8 lor me. She had llnally glven up hop one year Tbry rrre only lo m mch olhrr a lcw more llmr 

man's Iomlly.' the old mnn lold Webb. 'Ile had two dau@ behre,when I1 had been 45 yean,' Webbmld. larrna Ijodbes dlcd I1 reek3 afltr her dnughlcr wnlk* 

1cn.One's drnd now bul larena Codbcc Is #Ill allve.' 

Cadbre told Webb she had glven up her daughler It lha lhroukh her Iron1 door and blck Inla her Ilk. 

OYI It wa, hls next slalcmml lhsl murcd Webb her lmlrlmcc 01 her om fatner. In lhme dap, babla to be 'I led beltcr dolng whal I have done: Wrbb mld. I 

wa~ch wa~ nearly ended. 

placed lor adopllon were not lahcn lrom lhtlr mo(hen necllng w her search. 'I don't lhlnk abovl I! ar much. 

'She's the one, you know, wlto lwk over when her molh lmmedlalcly. She had nuned and cared lor her baby lor I dan'lilnlul~e.' 

er dlea- I monlh belom she war hken lrom her. And YIc donn't lwl henell, ellher. 8104 Is not slrongr: 

me tlnnl step iti'~cbb'8 search' wu Os hardest. To 'she soldshe slnyed up all n$hI rocking me in her arm lhsnlorr. 

mske pence wllh henrll, Wrbb knew 1h.l she lust cvanlu. lhe day brlore her daddy Csme to lalo her back home lo , The magood penon, bul I had a bellsr one.'

Stnccy hllller of Durltntn wns n 1D.yc;lr-oltl 

college studcltl wllcn sllc bccatnc prcgnnnt 13 

years ago. Closc thc tlonr on tltls part of your 

Ilirthparcnls lt;tvc cltoscn to glvc ij;tro~llttg 

rlgltls at~d rcslronsil~llltlcs to srrtnconc clsc. 

Tltcy'vc tnatlc n parctttittg tlcclslut~ - a i)osl- 

Ilfc, sllc wns ndvisctl, Bchlttd that advice was . tivc dccislor~ - nltottl whnl's 1)csl for tllclr cltil- 

tltc nssumptlon ll~at atlopllon was bcst for tltc 

cltlltl. 

Now. Miller is drcnnizit~c n sunnort crottn . 

ftrr blrlitparct~ls who surrcndcr clilldren for 

adoption. 

Spcndlng a llfc hldlttg n sccrcl isn't 

I~cnlllty, hlillcr said. hl.5 of cncrgy Is wnslcd in 

denying such nn importnnt cvcnt. 

hllllcr, 33. ltas tnttrrled and glvcn blrlh lo a 

scconti daugltlcr, Karlnn, who will hc 2 years 

' 

old next tnontlt. Wltilc Iivlng in wcstcrn North 

Carolina in 1077, hllllcr rcad nbout Conccrncd 

Uttitcd Blrthlrarcnts, Inc. (CUB), a non.proflt 

.. support group for wottlcn and men who hnvc 

surrcndcrcd cltlltlrcn for ndol)tlon..Sl~c wrote 

111c natlonal ltcndqunrters and now scrvcs as 

nrca rcl)rcscntatlvc. Miller Is applylng to bcgln 

nn area branch !tow llti11 the croun - . has lltc requircd 

five acllvc members. 

' 1 Coming to terms with tho hirtlt'6nd sur- 

' rendering of hcr child hasn't been easy for 

I '~obln Wilson of Chancl 1III1. anotltcr CUB. 

oncc. "ll's not fun. Il's no1 like bridge club. IVs 

pninful," Wllson sald. 

. . 

tlrcn, Wilsnt~ saitl. It's not n rcjecllon of tltc 

cltiltlrcn but of tl~c clrcutnstnnccs, sllc emr~ltasizcd. 

CUB nlEnInE116 cvoultl llkc to sec ndoptlon 

nrrangcnlents talloreti lo the indivltlunl. Currcnl 

laws tlgltlly 1111111 tltc lt~forttt:~llntt 

ntloptces nntl thclr blrtltpnrcnts citn oblnln 

nhoul OIIC anolltcr. 

"CUR'S wltolc prctnisc is cltolcc." snltl 

hlillcr. Sott~e ndopllvc p:lrents t11tgl11 be \~1111t1g 

to mninthln n llt~tllctl contact willt birthparents, 

CUB nlentl~crsuggest. 

Non-identifying inforn~etion is non.111- 

j rcntcning to atlopllvc pnrcnts;nnd hclpful to 

; both parllcs, Wilson snys. 

SLqtc adoplion laws wcrc amcttdetl 111 I981 

lo allow ngcncics lo rclcnsc iitnitctl, nori.ltienllfying 

informal lot^ upon tho rcqucst of an 

ndoptcc agctl 21 or oldcr or of atloptlvc pnr- 

cnls. "Non.ldentifylttg" infortnation Includes 

.., . 'thc odoptec's datc of blrtlt and wclgl~t at hirtl~; 

incmbcr. "Il's a day-to:day pr&css," snys Wil- ' . the agc, l~crllagc nntl educntlon of tho blologlson. 

Sixlccn years Itnvc passed sincc sltc gave cal parents nt t11c lin~e of adoption. 

l< 

birth to a daughter In n Ncw Jcrscy hotnc for , Tltc law applies to county dcpnrttnct~ts of 

unwcd motltcrs. Support from olhcr birth. social services and prlv:ttc agcnclcs. Bcforc thc 

parcnls has hclpctl hcr rcsolvc fcclings of guilt cltangc, privntc ngcncics wcrc able to rclcnsc 

; and anger, sltc salrl. 

more Inforntation thntl thcy can rtow. County 

, Tttc number of blrll~pnrcnls ntlcndlng . dcpartn~ents can rclcosc nlorc than they had 

mcctlngs has varied slncc Miller and Wllson *. before. 

ltcld thc first CUB mccllng in the winlcr of The law already nllowed rclcase of tt~cdical 

1079. hlnny birtltparcnts nllcnd just two or records or otltcr' infortantion rcgnrdlng tile 

thrcc mcctings. Othcrs comc to a tnectlng only pltysical hcnltl~ of tltc ntloptcd child ulwn the 

I 

1 hllllcr notcd. ~1 tnonthiy yccllngs, birtit. ~tlucitlon 

CUR WANTS birtltparcnts' exlstcncc ncknowlcdgetl, 

saitl Wllson. "A lot of blrlltr~arenls 

ncver sncak lo anyone clsc about it." 

narettts lulk aboul lltclr ncrsanal stories: about 

pregnancy, surrendering IItc child, fccllngs 

and reactions lo tttc cxpcrlcncc, lncludlng 

lltose of llte fnmilics, and how thcy'vc dcall it 

.. with over tito years. hlosl birthpnrents nrc cv- . 

,cryday, avcragc pcoplc who wcar llto sclf.lmposed 

1:lbcl of fallure,snld Wilson. 

lllostly wotncn ntlct~d CUB mcctings, but 

. . 

wrillct~ rcqucst of an ndoplcc 21 ycnrs old or 

ovC!r. . 

CUB WANTS to rcctlfy tltc blnttltct ldcn 

that lltc blrtltp:trcnl Is hud and adopllve parents 

arc cood, hlillcr snltl. 

Inclndes tlcl~uttkl~~l: tnytlts nl~oul 

l~irllti~arcnls. 011c ttt)~Iit IS lltnl nrloplin~t IS wontlerf~il 

for cvcryonc conccrnctl. "11's not always 

lit thc best lnlcrcst of the blrlitnnrcnt." noted 

hlillcr. 

When hlillcrsrtrrentlcrcd ltcr baby, shc fclt 

she dldn'l have a cholcc about wl~cthcr to kccp 

cltild. "Otltcr people tnkc over nntl tlecitlc 

w11;ll's bcst," snit1 hllllcr, who was sent to a 

more birlllfntl~crs arc joinit~g, Wilson siid. Sltc ltomc for uttwcti n~olltcrs in Charlotte. 

notcd that young rnotl~ers today scenl aljlc lo Otltcr false conccpts inclttdc: birtltparcttts 

view :surrcttderlng tltclr chlltlren as n rcsl)onsl. tlon't wan1 or love tltcir cltlltlrcn: they rlott'l 

ble pnrenting ciccislnn. Allltoufilt lltcy gricvc wnnt 111clr cltlltircr~ to find ti~cm; ti~cy're lurkdccply, 

sltc fccls lltcy It~vcn't fcll the satt~e ing around litc corncr lrylng to get back 111cIr 

scnsc of sligntn or In1)cling cxpcricnccd i~y chlldrcn. 

womcn of her jicncraliott. 

Birthpnrcnts gcttcrnlly rcspcct Ole ndoptlvc 

fantlly, wltott~ t11cy ncknowlcdgc as tile 

NATIONAI, Cull wns font~tlctl SIX years 

. cltlld's psycbologlcnl fatttlly, hllllcr sai(l. Blrl11. 

ago nftcr four worncrt mcl 111 n soutltcastcrt~ tttolltcrs tlon'l tlrcntn of n pro11lct11-frcc rcnnhlnssnchusctts 

clturclt to tllscuss their cxpcrl. lot^, snld Wllsott, 'I'ltcy wnnl pcncc of tnlnrl nttd 

ct~ccs ns surrct~dcrlt~l: pnrettts. 

sitt~plc qucsllotts nt~swcrctl, so tltcy colt go fnr- 

Tltcy spcclflmlly rltosc lltc \i*ortl snrrcttrlcr wnrtl wit11 lltcir llvcs. hlntty ljlrtltl~arct~ls dott'l 

It~stcad~ oi tltc ~)lthsc "givc up," slncc birlt. know If thcir cl~lltlrcn arc illvc. 

parents' love nt~tl conccrtl conlin~tcs for their Illrlltpnrcnls oflcn expcrict~co fccllnl:s sltncltlltlrctt. 

CUI1 Is illso nn ;ttlvoc;~cy group lhnt llnr lo f:t~nlllcs of soldiers mlsslltg in nrllott - 

supljorls rlgllls 111 atloptccs 111 ol~taltt IItclr ;tlwnys wottrlcrl~tg - Wilson stlltl. (;clllttg rld 

ljlrllt itlslnry ant! I~lr~lt~~nrt~ttls' ltlctttlly. 

of solnc ut~kttowns 1tcll)s. 

Altlttruult it urciv trul of t~~cntivc rc'at-tlotts 

It1 tIte atln~~~~ott~t~x~~cr~cttcc 

it3.r birtittttot~trrs, cuo mcc~r on IIIP fourth Wndnclduv al cuch ~r~nlllh 

Cult isn't fl~t1ill.d :lllIJl)tlIlll. I':llucilllll~ 111(' 11111h a1 the OranPo County Women's Ccnlcr, 406 W. Hosr. 

Ilc nljout ndolrlir~t~. nt~tl i~tt~nit~~l~lt~j: in111 1111- niurv st.. in Chon01 IIIII. For nioro tnfurnlatton. contact 

11rnvlnl: tllc prtwcss for cvcryonc Involved is MlllcralY14.7532. 

CUIYS I:~~:II. - 11~ 

AI.I,ISON AIIA~IS

3 They help parents cope with adoption agony 

9 ~~~TEVELIEIIRENS 

' 

s.lt.lsl4l 

I1 wor tha Id 01186% John 

uld Maq wrs mUw sludenlr. 

In Chlcaw. And b y wum 

low& 

Tha Democrallc NaUonal 

CmvenUm h d recerdly reeked 

. Lb. MI&& clly. md Jdl. wu 

deeply involwd in "Uw uw." 

Bul ha didn't have Urns lo gel 

deeply Involved In a penoyl 

. relntlNldllp. 

J@ 

waa 11 yun old md. 

: t duyndqullam~rbslold. 

: him rho though1 ha waa 

' 

Rgrunt. JobD didn't urs. I& 

ustm.deaudeloka.bout lL 

- P 

When rbc wen1 homs lo 

Wuhlngton.D.C,lluCMrtmrrmu 

vwllon. Muy went loadodor. 

' Ib lold her 60 wu indeed 

: p mwl. but he mde m effort 

, lo refer lwr 10. cDurwhr or 

o(hu~rrvlw. 

Whm I& told her parenla 01 

hu Jluallm. her fnk .I.@ 

' hermdullcdherawbam. 

sim IhoU&hI llboul hVing M' 

nborllon. but lhey wum l U 4 

md lnrblddm by Um bmau 

; CnthaUc Church, In whlch abs 

wu r(rlcUy rrlxd. A mmiaps 

. 01 mnvmicnes lollwed by 

dlv~rw wnr dm ruled wl by 

her rrllglour hklr 

~ uwn y pnuadtd in entcr, 

a Cs(hoUe.nu~ home lor unwd 

moU&n in Atarylud. vhumdm 

dayed VLlU plYlnl btr(h lo + 

dnughleron Aup. 1% LW. 

Ruoughwl her dry a1 Ule 

homc. Ja h d ihe l&hg Uut 

giving her chUd up lor adDpUm 

wu a foregone omcl~ulm. 

, Mary rded in a rsenl b- . 

tcrvlew. . . 

Ruenlly a memtu 01 (he 

Paclnc Beach hrmch d a 

~Uonal organbtlon vhWl 

help pucnu cop nWI ihe b d 

cholrs of glvlnp up lhslr 

chUdrrn for ndopllm. My now 

known Ihal ihs bad other 

aIler~Uvm. 

Shs~Idlhcympwomaln 

lhal homs were seen a# 

' 

. . . .. 

I j + a c u 

Mory ~dlln, qho pq. up h.r douphln hx Ddqp . ~lflhpknll. 

fbn I2 ypr~ ow. SIII wllh hn l%monlh old prenls wim her? lurrmda~md *Ildr*n tor 

wn. Tlmolhy. .In ihdr Sn OIogo ha*. Medlh odoqly. . h 

Ir octlre In lh.'lwol rhaplw 01 Conurnd Unlfd 

. . 

pm*lcu. 01 a pAuci. ~td UM 

bellu Ud background d Uls 

chUd, Um mom v.lu.bb 

Ills 

pmducl. 

Wlpentravmdayrhihs 

hcapllal Lollowing a c4mueul 

drllvcry, md rha bnd b IWl (0 

get 1114 uuru lo phq @baby 

lo huforfoedh(l. . 

Sha relurned lo (he homa for 

unwed molkn ~drmliouodlo 

sea hor dnuuhler for .Imort 

lbrrs wrckl Mom .Ignlnp ihe 

pa& relloqul.lllng her offaprlnp 

lor adoption. Shs 

dsrlbcd (he Jgnlng & 

u amid dluaUon. 

Oam ngaIn. Lbq d v c d (a 

*lmU~ luck, I& uld. rbo 

d y lhould hvs bcw In UIM 

bdol muaullos. 

Mary ulJ I& quil wrk, ml 

luck is wllegs ~d oM.lned a 

' dsgrw In anrly clilldhwd 

cduc.(lm. Qa Uwn wnt lo 

work luehlq~ymq d$drm, 

0 Wpporl d odrkw proup lor. ' 

but lot4 lnluul once her om 

Qughlcr wuoldcr(hnihcUd~ 

Ibawaatu~. 

hry hu been muiicd toLu 

MedUn for elybl ycur now; ud 

~0mo~.poI&gnvehlnhlo 

1 Km, T(moihy. Sho had wmled 

lo hrvsamlkr chUdfor~yciII 

yean, he aid, hut IIIE Wl 

WMl lo bl rbs W U hylllg 

in replace her dauyhlw. 

. Wha sha dellvercd a hanllhy 

baby boy, she fell ~Ucvcd. She 

had leared Uut rbs mlyhl h 

"pudhd" for her pus1 acllo~. 

a [ear lhl delnnlcd bin her 

rcU~loluupW~~~r. 

If~mvcr, rbs Ad, *en 

'Nmolhy developrd lo tha wo 

whcn he alarlcd amlW md 

dlaplnying olher penodly 

rtlrlbutcs, aha rcnllzcd how 

mucb rbs had n ild with lwr 

daughkc, Md rbs wed hlo a 

dc*l deprrdon. 

Shs kid& she muldn'l h a 

good mcchcr lo llmo(hy unlU 

rbs dved her feelingr abo4 

beIdrllgb!u. 

. - 

reluctlncs and oulrlyhl 

II~~~wnUlnt~Ylbdlh 

dceepUon In dcallnp, wllh 

L.mad (jO7URWrll 0lncbh 8rd Ud 

hui MD(bLC WMPn. 

IlYdas Bemn, nbo bd dm uw-waryburcdb 

dvm ip a ehUd for dOplb0, 

WadklCQ. , 

ud 

rep-lw who wu (he 01 a 9.n lu(hul The San Dirpo County 

aWlon iwles. m Uo dhu 

or@utlon ullad Coocuwj turd.ir~00l1hamortUbernl 

UnI&dBlrlb~~ (COB). rCcnda wry. 

PorIbsMllmainllyu~ uid BLr(hp.rm(l nwkIng with 

Mary. said. ahs lalksd lo tbc bul agaeney m lllwn in 

~momsel~whobulglvmwa I~MIIwI .bar bvpUre 

ehlld br adoplla, md hs 

ldoptivo parenla' and are 

rullrnl Uul kr rllualbn wu s awed Lo puf*ip.la In (he 

mmmoDom.ndih.Lhcr mmdoy a1 (he capb wbn I@I 

I*s wumnomul. 

mim tMr child. 

. . 

A aarrpl Ulat CUB 

COB L a uqport 

wouldllk 

md acUvM 

gmup lnr poplo \rho baw 

Lo ace hmr~~raLed Mo (he 

murendered chUdra la II&P 

Ib, and lor r&plma md 

adopllva parsnla. I1 hold8 

rqulu mcelinga on Uls W 

W 8 y of lho moaU1 nt I p.m. 4( 

Iha Paclllc Beach Unlled 

MeUIodlat Uureh, Itdl Vwmu 

Ave. iInlormn~ about kUD 

can b obtslned by mltlng lo 

P.O. Bar 1Wa. Sm Dlryo, CA, 

fn11~.) 

Feuded Ill Mo.u.=Iumu# Ill 

ma, b mnpmIll orgmlvUoq 

hu acllvcly rough1 to +y 

w e 01 (he problem It Icela 

eafd In curred adopuon ,&wr 

md pmcedurer 

One of llr 1nn10r yoah In b 

brc& &wn lha waU 01 sceFcey 

lhl hna lradlUon.llv oc~arnlcd 

nslurnl parenla.. or bly. 

lhpare~!&, lmm lhlr chlldrm 

indihea&pUvep.rcnl.. 

Allhaugl~ CUD dou mt w k 

ar e uarrh ugency, many olUle 

Indickhds lnwlvrd 'In lha 

o~uliutlon. induilng hby 

Mrdlin. do try tq h d h 

formuim ud lbe dopllve M pUrm& Umr chlldrcn 

bfq uld IIM wdd Ub lo 

ue ha &wMu Main, md 

prh.p keom a member d 

lbc drl'r "exlmckd lrmlly." 

Ibrmr. I& hr ma wl(h 

.doplloO pnrnr ir w Of 

'~ormcddolo." 

Uary raid rho war 

dunipulucd Mo giving up ha 

dmghler for a&plloo, nrd Ulnl 

&a wu m( in- 01 her 

~ U v ein a (he mailer. For 

trmnrre, tbcplrlInafor(a~unUIrbs 

rho muld hvs plaad 

ruredy (a cam lnr her. 

'Ibs dopllon pnrol muld 

hw k n handled wl(h letr 

cmotbnnl dumago lalllclcd 

rpon her, Mary uid. So add 

lnlormpl choico iJ pmb.biy iho 

bul rokguud agrlsrt rucb 

dJmP.3 

"Pwpls don't MUw bnw 

dMl.& l0SUly # chUd C M k. 

Thcrr will always ba a void in 

my Ule."MsryM~rnld 

"Clvlng s chUd up lor a&p 

lbn IJ a lllcbng (hing. ?he pin 

nrer cda. I'm iwl lrying lo 

mrkl?~opJnmnrup+lc."

. ., 

The I~jtlioil:lpolis Sfar 1. 

t SUNDAY, JANUARY 2, 1983 

A rnother7:s search 

.. . 

1 After. 19' years, a son is fouizd 

i ndop~cd children can lind.cach I'( ' iShc wns bcd lo ille home of ' ' uilil lour ycnrs ago llinl slip 

,,y'KATIIY WHYDE 

Iolhcr should lhcy ever desire lo, fl Prominent pily5icinn In 

I decided lo do somclhi~~g nl~oul 

N lnclccn ycnrs ago, Sboron 1 do so. :nnolhcr cily; who hod ngrccd to .. it. . ..: 

!' , Rocra was nn upwe ~ ~ ,bout ~ adopllon ~ ~ ' anrc ~ lor hcr.unlll l l (he baby ~ i ~ ~ 

, molllcr; This Jumhcr, :i:ihns to bc ns open ns possib~c." cnmc:.I'F"r II ccrlnin class 

'6 was wnlcl~ing llic I'liil 

Iound the son she gave up idr Ishe says., 

I Donahue Show. Thcrc wnz a 

ndoption. Now, she wants to bc :, In the years nllcr sllc 

.woman on nnmcd Lee Cnmpbcll 

.more 1hnn'"just n wom$b with isignedVlhb pnRcrs placing her ~110 Wns ~rcsidcnt of 

a past." 

,son lor adoplion, MS. nocca 

Concerned Unilcd Birth Parents: 

, Unlil now, she has quiclly . ;married and slarlcd a lnmily. 

: livcd wilh the slcrcolype,nnd 

And linding Illc wns chiid Inlking she nbOul had givcn 

I She moved nwny from hcr 

Ihc pcrccived stigma of being a' ;hamelown, corned n college 

up lor odoplion. I lislcncd lo 

'.womnn who gave up her child 

I 

degree nnd begnn a cnrcer. 

hcr dory and fcll npnrl." 

' lor adoplion. "I wns nevcr .. Today. she livcs In n 

cmharrnsscd nboul it, bllt 'I 'comlortnblc Cnrmcl home with 

.never hiked about it wilh,. . 'be; hlibb~%d gtld lllrcc c!lildrcn. 

anyone either," she says.' : ,. nut dwing ,those ycnrs sllc 

lc ncccss lo son, 

Ailhoug!~ shc worried nboul developed nn :nvcrwticlming 

whnl evcryonc cxpcclcd of me. hforc intporlnnlly, why lorsn'i 

olhcrs' reactions, she llersclf burg6 to [iljii tll! baby she never I just k.nnted cvfrYon!! lo like , hc hnvc ll~c rig111 ol ncccss lo 

"IB 

lccls no shame. "Illink or ! Sew. '!l.htid ncvcr cried aboul ng"in"' '' ' ' . mc?" 

' 

In lhc hospitnli si~C 

myscll not ns n lormer unwed giving up (he child. nu( 1 would to sleep; 

was put From lier husband, shc 

hcver heard or 

mother,. bul ns a part ol a cxpcricnc~ periods 01 great 

family who hns becn scparntcd' 

tlc -Tlley. ttild mc it . See SEARCll I'ngc 4 

; mourning around lllc llrnc 0l 

lhnl wny: lIlnl 

by odoplion. 11's not ood or his birthday. I ncvcr quit 

: bud; ilk jusl n par1 o 'i my lifc." looking dl bnbics that ngc bn 

1 would'ncvcr bp.nbic lo lorgct 

, aboul 

I him, Whal 

Now she hclps ollicrs who . tllc slrccl and wondering.",., 

- (hey didn't count on'was lhnl I , 

at sb& point in lhcir livcs / I n 1961 she wns l~,>opulnr : cpuld ncvcr forget, nnywny." , 

mnde lhc decision she hnd to rind prctly. a cliccrlcndcr In a 

/ Cnlllolic high school nnd.,, 

slc wns lold lhnl il was ; 

a boy will1 red hair like hers. . inyolvcd in her first lovc alinir 

,.[ 

; - wilhout bcnclit of birlh 

lo go lo lc n, , 

which 

couple:ol ,limca lo qcc him. But '1 

snys9 was I (urhcd babk. I lelt so guilly. : 

,organizalivp lor lhqsc scpptyl~d,,~ not casily nvnilnblc lhcn. 

..: 

-by adoption. 1 . .,.. ,,.,., s ,;, 'vhcn bccnmc prcgnnnt, 

:might And 1.Wns Icrrincd Ihal lhey . . 

rigilt:' If-) snw him, I 1 

She also works in the ollicc , shc wonled lo mnrry nnd kccp 

of the privnlc lnvcsligntor who I thc baby. Dul the boy wns now . wouldn,t wnnl . , lo 

.. him ', 

llclped her track dbwn tier son, . Cnlllolic and n ycnr younger Wl~en sl~e was out of the : . 

using [he skllls she dcvclopcd :' . than she, and lhcir pnrcnls hnd hospilnl, she signed the 

in hcr own scorch lo help otllcr. I olher plans. "Thcy jusl cnmc in 'odoplion pacers. "The ncxt ' . . j 

birth parcnls nnd ndop!ees who. I nnd look over." sllc rccnils. "I ' morning I wokc up nnd lcit , 

arc looking lor a r;Joliyd,',,' ;;',;,' don't blame thcm, lhougl~. Thcy , nbsolutcly free as n bird. I 

I, :. i 

were doin whnl they thought wont nboul lhc business ol 

was bcst or us. Thcr~ wcrcn'l , burying it /n my mind." 

rn many oplions in lhosod.@ys:; 

S llc nc~riowlcdhc~'ti~a~:&ycry., 

Iiirth molhcr's situntion is . , 

dirlcrcn(; (hnl some women Ilul she found Ihnl although 

I, Adoplidn, lhcy dccidc wns 

mnY ncvcr Want to mecl lhc pcoplc c,peclcd llcr nltlc 

1 Ihc only recourse. 

children lhcy placed lor Shc was lorbiddcn lo scc 

. lo wnlk nwny and lorget nhout 

ndop(ion: lllnl sOmC cllildrcn hcr boyfriend, llcr girlfriends, 

the baby, SIIC couldn't. I1 wasn't ; 

never wan1 to lind their sllc rccnlls. "just cut me up. 

, 

birth pnrcnls. 

You know how I1 goes, yihu'd 

Dul she fnvors n sYs(cm ) think I was lhc only person in , , 

wl~crcby birth molhcrs nnd , .tllc world who'd been nn ..; 

unwed molhcr."

Search 

+ Continued From Page 1 

received "100 percent support" 

to begin her search. She had 

not yet told her children that 

they had an older half brother 

somewhere. "In retrospect. that 

was not a good idea," she says. 

"Because when I finally did tell 

them. they had conjured up all 

of this sluff about how maybe 

they wcrc adopted. They had 

overheard some of my 

conversations." .. .. 

She employed a privet': 

.- . . . .- 

bis,~Rocca found a CUB 

mcmbc'?'in.fhat city who 

agreed to help her search. 

Through her, she obtained 

yearbooks from the Catholic 

high schools In that city. After 

poring over them, she narrowed 

her search down to one school. 

,"I just had afceling," she 

recalls. 

The class in which her son 

;would have been was 

graduating last spring. She sent 

the CUB member money to buy 

. . 

She intentionally wiiicdntl? 

' her son turncd 18 until she 

contacted him - "hopefully, by 

then, he would want to contact 

: me too." 

Last summer. Ms. Rocca 

travelcd to the city wherc her 

i 

son lived. She had a friend - 

masquerading as a newspaper 

reporter who was doing a story 

on young people who wcrc 

i about to enter college - call 

;her son. The friend arranged a 

' meeting to "interview" him 

film; the woman in turn ... .,+ further in a park near where 

detective to hclp her with her .. 

attended the commencement hc lived. "We purposely chose a 

search. He taught her how to :ceremonies and photofiraphed spot rvhcrc he would feel 

do a lot of the invcsligative ,. 1 every boy in the class. comfortable and secure in case 

. . 

, work herself. In the course of 

he wantcd to run or 

her scarch, she also turned to a j T h i iight. the woman called something." says hls. Rocca. 

hypnotist and a psychic for Xfs. Rocca and told her 

hclp, but with no luck. 

there was one boy in the class ''1 knew I had really crossed 

;with red hair. The pictures the line here. It was every 

Finally, she got in touch with ;were on their way in the mail. adoptive parent's ' ' 'dmare and 

always know how to el in .,.. 

the physician who had bkcn . "When the pictures Came I was doing it. I L . 

touch with her, shoul they 

her in while she was pregnant. my whole lire dropped." Ms. ,,.. recommend this method." 

thinking that he might know Rocca Says. "After that, enough. , Iier friend brought the boy 

who had'adoplcd her son. "1 wasn't enough. ~ifler thal. I was to the park wherc *he was 

.got a lecture about playing with ready to infringe (on the rights ,waiting. "tic aol e II the car. 

.fire, about mining my life," she of his adoptive parenls.1 i saw mc, and-11 big grin sprcad 

recalls. "At thal point. all I Basically. I just wanted lo look across his face. lic said. 'i 

- wantcd was non.idenlifying at his face. and I wanted him know who you are.' 

infOrmalion: What are his to look at me. I wanted him to "Hc said he had been 

interests? What is his family that there was someone curious but didn't want to 

like? Is he bcinfi raised who looked like himself. I pursue it. Jle was afraid of 

Catholic? IS he healthy? wanted a chance to explain to hurlin his ndoptivc parents. He , get to know him as a friend. ' 

hc need my kidney, my blwd? him what had happened. that wnntci ro tell me right off the 

nnd Ict him slot Lo knnw mv ' ' 

Docs he want lo see me?' someone had loved him. bat how much hc loved his 

"1 didn't want to hurt his 

I parents. 

The doctor told her that thc adoptive parents, but I didn't 

boy kncw he was adoptrd and want to hurt. either. I fell that 

that hc had expressed some 1 this was between him and me. 

curiosity about his birth mother.: I kncw I was taking a chance: 

From thc information he gave Alayhc he didn'l want to know 

her. she was able to determine me." 

the city where her son lived 

3rd that he went to a Catholic 

school. 

THE INDIANAPOLlS STAR SUNDAY, JANUARY 2,1961 

1 

- '"We spent four or 11ve hoursi 

together. IIe allowed me to I 

explain to him why I had done . 

what I did. tfe thanked me lor , 

giving him this beautiful life. It 

was a wonderfuliy pasitive 

Iexpcrience. I don't think I did 

!any harm." 

1 When AIs. Rocca returned j 

~homc, she wrote her son a 

. letter, rccapping their 

discussion. She sent him her 

!address but let liim know that 

,the decision to continue the 

correspondence would be his. 

' 

. '.L 

So far. she has not heard 

from him. But shc is hopeful. 

What would shc like to 

happen now? She sent him a 

Cllristmns card at school and 

plans to give her address to his 

' family's lawyers, so that they'll. 

want to do so. An album that .. 

she compiled chronicling the ! : 

search, along with a daily . 

I iournal that she kept. will be 

.I.. 

glven to him somed?y. .. 

! "l'm not out to d~scount his: 

adoptive parents." she says. . 

"This (her relationship with her 

son1 is not something we have 

to have every day. i want to 

"..- ...,,. n-. .- . . , ,. , . 

f 

children." . , N.0. 'Rilvely is Sttarin's fillher 

Stjaron Rocca stfares he

. . V . ." .. .: 'A 

A doption is a happy act of ' union - a legal 

,: . ' . - 

, , 

. .. 

: , 1 

questions ~ llire is mi child? Does I.L.,. he know he is 

:. process that brings togetlier hopeful parents ' adopted? Is he l~appy? . ..& 

. . . 

.; and a child who needs them. '. ,. . '!: Many ?people on either 'end ..6f; the' 'adoption 

nut it is first an act;pfke~arationi..,when (he :: , prokcss lead full, happy lives'withb~t ever, seeking 

, birth mother l~linquishes.';parental . ..,. rights .,., and .' thb answers to thesc.,questions, .:;:;: ..: . ,... 

:. rcsponsibililies~td~her child;',.^ ,$' :* . .. .I* a* f.: ; t . . #I 

' '.. 

'' '' ..'.hi 

for others, ther&is. compelling,nccd to 

~raditionally,:ll; is .anqct cloaked in anonym . know. ~h~ ddopte~s,:moiives ,fm:sFcking out .his 

ity. An adoption'agcncy or,an attorney acts as biological lleritagc range from a need for 

intermediary. Papers are' 9igned;"'nnd 'the information to a dcep.scated desire lo solvc 

work is completed without the principal parties they see as a puzzle from their pa~k T~ answer 

knowing each other's identity. Then the records [he question, ',who am. I?" '. ., . , 

a arc scaled by order ol the court. Confidentiality, it , . 

is said, "in the besl interests of the child!' FOP the birth parent, who inay . never hive 

For the adoptee,. thc.questions that crop up overcome a sense pf grief and: guilt, there is 

later in life are a result of ,natural curiosity: who the need to communicate to the child the reasons 

were my mother and father? Do I look like them? he Was placed for adoption - not because the 

I 

. Why was I put up for adoption? . . 

. ..,. . I child was .unwanted but because there were 

. . The birth, parents have their own ..set of ' v::;., See ADOPTED.Page 4 . '. 

' 

* .Continued. From Page 1 

situations over which the. birth parent had no 

control. . 

Those who starch for'such o lost rclative find 

themselves in the midsl of a legal and emotional . 

conlroversy, a conflict of righls among those 

involved in the adoplion triangle: the birth parents, 

the adoptcd parcnls and.thc adoptce. 

It's an issue with legal and psychological 

argumcnls to support all sides. What about the 

hirth mother who has n new life noy and docsn'l 

wan1 to be found by the child she gave up many 

years ago? Perhaps she never told her husband 

and thcir children about the ndopted child? 

Docsn't she have a right to privacy? What about 

I.hc adoptive parcnls, who may fear that a birth 

parent will compctc wilh thcm for thcir child's 

. 

affections? 

. 

As lor lhe adontcc. isn't he cnlilled lo a stable, 

secure cnvironmc'nt? Wouldn't having two sets of 

parents prove to be unseltling and confusing? 

. On the other hand, \thy should an adoptee be 

bound by an agreement that wns made many 

years ago, without liis participation? 

Across the coi~ntry, a movement is growin to 

cliange adoption laws and make birth and n 3 op . 

lion records more nccessible to those on both 

ends of the adoption process. Adoplion search and 

support groups.havc lormcd to provitlc a nclwork 

for Lhose who arc sccking a lost rclative. 

star D~OIO 

Llr. Jerome S~ni~ll, a(Joplio11 cxpcrt 

Beliei~es records sllor~ld rentairt closed

.... 

~ 

nc such croup Is Conrrrnrd Unllrd lllrlttpar. 

Ornls ICUIII, which rlnlnls la havc provldrd 

srnrch nsslslnnrc lo Jl.UKl pmplc In the scvrn 

vrars II has hrrn In rrlslmcc. '7hrr~ Is no rrnl 

;rvnn lhnl scrrrry nrrdr In he mnlnlnlncd." sn)s 

Cull prrvdrnl Ixc Campl~rll hl* rnmphrll, n 

I~,lh ..... rnnlhrr ... uha surcr~~lullv scnrrhrd lor ll~r 

~ .. ~- ~ 

child she placrd lor ndoplion, dIsny!rrrs Ihnl 

knanlnf lhr ldcnllly nl l~lrlh pnrcnl, would lr 

dnn~nglnfi In lhr rhlld. "Thc rcvrrsc Is Irur." shc 

rlnims. "To allnw n child In llve In nn cnlnrcrd 

lnnlnsy world, ncvrr knowlny! nnylhing 11baul lllc 

hlrlll prrrnlsl lr morr llnrmlul. 

"Thc lcars a1 ndopllvc parcnl, nrc unloundrd. 

II n mdhrr can love marc lhnn onr chlld. n chlld 

can love marc lhnn ov iolhrr. Wc nrc nll mndc 

up 01 bonds btacrn . ,y pcoplr: unclrs, nunls. 

parmls. crand arrnls. Thnl's whnl mnkrs 11s 

dmng. ~xc~uaRc pnrcntlng 13 unrcalisilr. 11 

dorsn'l cvrn hanncn. ,."-I wllh dlvorccs. rrmnr. 

rlagrs nnd cxtcidrd L .rs." 

In Ind~ann. as M'most tlnlcs, blrlh nnd 

adoption rrcards nrc srnlrd nl ihc llmc of ndapllon. 

by order nl the cnurl. A new l~lrlh ccrlillcolr 

is Issurd, mnlninln~ lhc nnmt nl lhc ndoplivc 

pannls nnd lhc ndopllvc nnmc nl lhc chlld. 

. No law prahiblls lhc,ndnptlon ngcnc or the 

nllarnry who handlrd lhc aduplion lmm d;valy!lng 

the inlormalion on ihc nrlginnl rrmrds; but mml 

do nnl do so. as n mallcr of policy or prolcsslonal 

clhics. 

n nrdcr lor lhc odaplcc. the blrlh pnrvnl or 

'olhcr lnlcrnlcd pnrly lo src lhc orlglnnl re. 

cords. lhc~ musl arovc lo (he coud that lhcy 

should hc lold rl an cnrly age: lhcrd Is a "slrong 

nsnzlnllon." 11c lays, belwccn lhc ago of lclllng 

and lhc ndoplcc's rallslacllon wilh lilc. 

"Whnl It boils down lo Is this: llovc lhc 

pnrcnls drnll with the ndopllon In n snllslarlory 

manner? Ilnvc lhry lold lhc chlld 01 his odopllon 

nl an cnrly age? llas lhrrc bccn poslllvc. opcn 

communlcallon on lhc subjrcl 01 ndopllon? The 

mrssngc should hr: 'WE llrlong lo cnch olhcr. you 

arc n wanlrd child; lhls Is lllc way you cnmc lo 

us, this Is lhc wry I1 Is' - no shnmc, no 

cmbarrrssmml. 

"Morr ollrn lhrn nol. lhr'proplc who srnrch 

arc Pwplc who arr unhnppy. Thry hnvc n lrcllng 

01 somclhing mluing In lhrlr livcs. Thr lcrllng Is 

rilhrr o luncllon 01 loo much lcllln Ion lhr par1 

01 thc pilrcnlr) or no1 cnouli~ - uRIctI !?dicnlcs 

Ihc Ilnrrnll' nnririy about 11, cilllcr wa 

Shirlry Iknnir, sn adaplcc who r~und hrr 

dm "01 ngrw mllh Ihlr pd~l,. -1.w Itad wry 

lcw prn lr lcll mr lhry urrc unhappy. Tllry low 

lhrlr n&pllvc pnrrnls drrrly. Thry o In crrrl 

erlrrmrs In prnlwl lltrm ltom hurl FIIPY.~~ j!llt 

rsrln~ls. Thry 11rsI wnnt lo w a lnrr lhrl look^ 

lhkc Ihrm, A 10101 lln!rs, having rl~ildrrn of lhfir 

awn lrl~grrs lhr srnrclt: Hhrl gcnrs nrr the). 

pnsrlng on In lhrlr children? 

$1 Irvlnllrly. Ih~rc .lrr mmr lwrplp uhn ilmr 

Odllllr~,llir~. I1 lhry nrr srarrh~ng lor nnolhrr 

molh~r or 11 lhry think nll nl lhrlr prolllmlr ulll 

I* solvrd It l~ndin~ lhrlr hrlh pnrrllls. I 1~11 

lhrm rrnrrhfng is not n gnod idca. Thnl's why I 

dnn't likc In llrlp prolllr lrnd~r lgr ?D. Ynu nrd 

ma' 'Iy: yo11 musl br srn%tl!\r to nlhrr lroplr 

Yd .n'l Jusl plungr lnln mmrhly's lilc rwk 

Insly." 

Mr. Drnnls would llkr lo srr-lhc ndnpllan 

r>.nrr(, ,. . . .. nnrnrd .,. . .- In . ndull .. . nrlanlws -.. ~- 

It nrFms lnkt 

nd* ~dnplrrs arc ncvrr nllor~l In gkw up 

I'a, . arc nlWnys lnlklny! In lrrnms 01 'Ill? hrst 

Inlcr~rLs 01 ihc child.' T11c rdoplivc parrnl and 

Ihc lllrlh nrrnl made lllrlr charcs Tho odo~~lrr 

ncvrr hnsnny in). so In lhr mallrr." 

Dr. Snrilh favors krcplng sdapllnn rrmrds 

sralrd, hrl nllrrs nllrrnnllvrr lhal cnn rn3r the 

n d In dnow lor adoplrrr and brlh pnrcnls. 

Adopllvc parrnls. hc lrrls. shnuld hc prorldrd 

with nnn ldrnlilying Inlormalion atmu! Ihc blrlh 

artt-nb nt lhc timc 01 ndoDlion. lhc hrlrltL 

hly!hl. hair nib ryr cnlorlng 01 lhc pnrcnlr, lhrir 

ocrupnllonr, rducallnn Irrrb nnd lnlcrrstr. (Some 

adopllon ngrnrics alrrndy do lhill The Inlormn. 

lion ran be sharrd wllh the child al nnpranriatc .. . 

Ilmrs lo qurll hls curiosily. 

"Part a1 nn adoplcc's ldcnlity h lied up wilh 

hidh parcnls." Dr. Smilh la).$. "I am very much 

ngainsl wrlllny! Ihcm all. prckndmg lhcy don7 

; 

exist." 

Ablrlh molhcr may sllll grlrvc lor lhc loss 01 a 

child evrn vmrs nllcr Ihr adnpllon. 11 she 

nrwr saw Ihc.ch11d nt lrlrlh. shc inay wondcr. 

"Dtd lhls rcally hap cn lo me!" Dr. Smith 

su csis tllnl the molRr be cnmurngcd in in 

nn5"hold lhc lnlonl nl lllrlh. lo hclo hcr dcnl ullh 

thc srpnrallon. "She can nrhnouirdgc lhnl lhr 

prrr.nancy occurtcd. lhal It's nsrr. lhal now she 

should-go on uslh hcr lilr. It's pa.nlul. b1r1 11'3 

,,..,,,, ">.s". 

11 lhr child Is lnlrnl upn srarcl1111~. lhc 

adoplivc (Inrent should IIC supprbur. "TrII him 

vau'll hcln hlm because vou %ant hlm lo be 

h;ppy.~it nd;isc 

him la~approrch (he search 

wilh cnullnn. I1 Is a risky slrp. Ilc mny be 

dissppoinlcd wilh rhnl hc finds 

"llul lhc dcrlllon la scorch mull br mndc by 

the chlld himscll.' 

Is lhrrc n campmmlsc lo lhr srarrh Iswr - a 

ray lo crchnngc idrntilbing Inl~rmnlion. only rl 

hlh D.irlirs arc u!N,nr? Somc mmlc srr rcunlon 

rcgisiricr as nn altcrnillvc to iwri mu& rccords. 

Somc slolrs hnvc rrglslrin c?lablishrd by 

slalulc or rrgulalbn; olhcr rrgislrrrs nrr mnln. 

lalncd by prlvnlc smrch nnd supprl groups. 

leads n seminar lo; odoplivc nnd prospicllvc ' 

ndoplivc parcnk hlicvcs lhnl lhc scarch conlro. 

vrrsy has hrrn ovrrhlown hy lhc mcdln. "Thcrc Is 

the lmprrssion lhnl all odoplccs arc scarchlng. In 

a slnlc 01 'genrnloglcal lwwlldcrmcnl! It's some. 

whnl 01 a lrmpcil in n Icnpol." Ilc cllcs n sludy 

Hnmion rcglslrirs rovldc n rnrans by which 

done in Scolland. whcrc ndopllon records #re 

hlrlh parcnl, and a&plccs can conlncl each 

a n, which lnd~calcs lhnl lcss lhnn llvc pcrccnl 

other, whrn nnd il lhcy arc rrndy lo do so, Al lhr 

oradoplccs actually mode use 01 lhcm. 

lime a womnn rrlinquishcs hcr chlld lor ndonllon. 

r. Smiltl, who is an ndopllvc parcnL lrcllcvrs shr can tnlunlnrlly rnlcr In ihr rtglslry hrr namc 

Dlhcrc Is a rclallonsl~ip belwccn an adoplcc's and addrcsl end hrr prrnl#sslon lor lhc rrlrnrc nl 

drsirc lo search and thc any In whlch hls lh~l Inlnrmalinn lo lhr rh Id should lhr rh Id ctrr 

ado llbc pnrrnh communicalcd wilh hlm on lhc rrqucsl It. Or. Ihc ch~ld, upon kamlng on adult. 

su&c; 01 his rdopllon. Ilc lccls lhnl adoplccr cnn rrglslcr his namc ond oddrns, sl~ould hls 

blrlh parcnls rvcr come looking lor him. 

ny lnlorinnllon cnlrrcd In a rrgislry an be 

Asmcndcd or wllhdrawn nl nny limr. 

In hlnrlon Counlv. ramc ndonllon nrrncln .. ~ 

mninlain lnlormnl rrinton rcgirlnis. 

Thc Indinno Allornry Cmrral's Ollicc Is con. 

sidrriny! lhc Implrrallons of a Inw ll~nl u0111d 

allow lor nuch n volunlary rxrhange 01 lnlarmn. 

llon. "Thrrc hns bccn a lnl 01 public inlcrrsl lnlcly 

lin (he irnrrll 1ssurl.- s.r)s dcpuly allorncy Cmci 

a1 Knll~y Lurns '7hr uny uc lnlrrprrl lhc lnus 

now. 11 Is our dulv in ward lhc ronl~drnl~aldv 01 

tho tndopllonl &cord; llnlcss gncd cnus; I; 

shnwn. Thrrr Is the porsil>illly IIlal uc could gcl 

Invnlvrd In a lot 01 lillgallon, l~rcnurc ihcsc sorts 

el rourl cnsrs will br nlusllroonlin~. ue llrink. 

"UUI in ncw law) is sonlrlhlngkc haw lo I~C 

vrry cnullnus nimul It is hnrd lo dckrmlnc IIIF 

rllrrl 11 will hnvr on lamilin." ; K.W. 

I 

I

.. - 

.. , , --q- . . 

, ... .-.-- . . . - 

i 

-. 

Cnnlinucd From Pngc I 

'' in his si~tficfnlhc,r role nnd lo lcnrn ndul .,nurturing nnd 

. , :, raising nn cducnl~ng an infnnl child." 

I . . . . . Fricnds, snid Jnndrl, go1 him through prriods nl dnuhl nnd 

1 l--nnxicly: "Thcy picked mc up and srl mc on my Icrt n nln" 

. .. Whcn Illc hnhy's duc dnic, Srpl. 21. 1980, camr nnf pnsscd 

I 

.., .. 

. ,.. . ... t . 

. 

-'rind hc hnd rcccivcd no ward 01 lhc hirth. Jnndrt mndc 

, . .. . .I 

. ,. , .'inquiries nncc or twice n weck for n monlh or so. 

' ' ~ WILLIAM y SMAIIT I "I linnliy found oul from onc of the socinl ngrncirs 

,. : '0 The Washlnglon Posl ' 

involvcd lhnl lhc child hnd bccn born on Scpl. 19 and hod gonc 

1 ' :Into loslcr care on Scpl. 22. hfy dn~rp,hlcr hnd bcrn in loslrr 

wnshinglon - Whcn Rick Jnndrl's girilrlcnd told him she wns ' care lor four wccks, nnd 1 hndn'l hccn nwerc ol her hirlh." 

' * 

prcgnnnl, "01 course 1 il~oughl, 'Whal nm 1 going lo do? Ilcrc Jandrl's nllorncys liicd n pctilion lor c~rrlody: n lrinl dnlc 

I om, going to be n possibic lnlhcr.'" hc said. 

" was scl lor cnrly Ihnl Nnvcmbcr. In ll~r inlrrim. Jnndrl wns 

'I'hc couple tnlked the situation ovcr and cnmc (0 n dccislon: : , nllowcd lwo, hour.long visils wilh ills dn~lghlrr - wllom hc 

Since ncilhcr wnnlcd lo mnrry lhc other, the logicnl sol~~lion wns 'namcd Rchcccn - nl lhc Unilcd Catholic Socini Scrvicrs 

lo put lllc baby up for ndoption. Uul lhc morc IIC thou bl nboul il, lacili(ics in o~jha. 

nnd nflcr talking thc situnlion over wilh friends, Jnn 8 rl bcgnn lo ' . - 

think lbnl "possibly I could gcl cuslodj!' I ... tr I wns ;,t,ebulifuI cxpcricncr," hc mid. ' 

Allcr dcciding lhnl, indccd, il wns sonicll~ing 11c migllt do. I On "tv. 10, 1180, JnndrVs nllorneys nnd lhc nllornry 

I ' ' Jnndrl mulled qucslions likc: "Wns I cnpnblc 01 rnising n child. rcprcscnlin cbccca's molhcr gnlhcred In the judge's cham. 

pl~ysicnlly nnd mcnlnlly? Wns I willing to give up my lifcslylc lor hcrs. When rncy cnmc out two hours lnlcr, "IIchccca's mnlhrr's 

1 

' 

lllc ncxt 20 ycnrs or so? If lllc child wns delormed or hnndi. "' nltorncy," snid Jnndrl. "had convinccd hcr lhal lhcrc wns no 

cnppcd, would I still bc willing lo accept lhis child?" I way thcy could provc 1 would no1 bc n fit nnd proper pnrenl." 

I 

But on n dccpcr level, l~nunting him morc. was "lhc lhougl~l . The mother a rccd lo give up lhc child. Thl! ludgr. 

of this child being ndoplcd out and my ncvcr knowing whal .,.:however, sliil wanlc i lo qucslion Jnr~drl in a formal hcnring. 

gender il was, or whcrc il wns, how it wns being rniscd!' 

:Den Cncioppo look the sland ns n wilncss. Two questions 

This is no1 a story of n icen.ngc boy and irl "gelling lnlo i: 

..,lhc judge nskcd Cncioppo slnnd oul in Jnndrl's mind: "Hc 

trouble." I1 shrlcd in January 190, whcn Jnn 8. rlwns 30 ycnrsold 

' 

5; wantcd to know if Ben ll~ougl~t I wns n womanizer. nnd he 

nnd.cnrning $24,000 a ycnr ns a dnln processor with an Omnho .': wnnlcd lo know il Bcn though1 I wns nn nlcohnlic." 

bnscd insurance company. llis girllricnd, a sccrclary, was 32. . The dccislon was to p111 Jandrl on probalion for six 

The hilch: Jnndrl's irifricnd told him "sbc would not let me :.:mon(hs, during he would have possessinn of ~~b~~~~ but 

hnvc cuslody of the chi1 fi and that she would fight mC for lhnl." , ,'.the court would have custody. 

/ Still, hc was dclcrmincd. 

,.:. 

:5* Jnndrl lcfl lhc hcnring clalcd. but nlsn in n daze. Alli~ough 

Jnndrl rclaincd nn nltorncy lo dclerminc "[he rights I had ns ,::he hnd won custody 01 his daughlcr, he wns conloundcd by 

a single Inlhcr lo gain custody of n child? 'The nllorncY *:rules nnd rcslrictions. "This wns soon out of my mind, when I 

ndviscd Jnndrl lo lcnrn child core "from a rcspcclnhlc ngency," 2: was on my wny to pick up Rchccca lhnl nigh1 and bring hrr 

line up n doclor lo cnrc for thc baby nllcr ils birth end nrrnngc 

. 

*,,: homc. (lie had bough1 nnd movcd Inlo his house only two dnys 

lor n stnleliccnscd bnbysillcr lo cover his working hours. , 

, ,:;nbcforc.) 1\11 the pcoplc involvcd wcrc lhcrc and we hnd quilc a 

;:{: cclebralion." 

The lnwycr lilcd n'claim lor pntcrnlty lo cslalglsh Jandrl's , . six passed Jan~rl gnincd cuslody 

pnrentnl righls and 10 prcvenl plncemcnt of the wilhOut 

his permission alter Jnndrt conlacled slnlc and county social 

>(~cbcccn. I1 had been a long, difficult and cxpcnsive proccss. 

,;, l~andrl it him around s7,000,, had lees my 

scrviccs agcncics lo find where he could cl child.cnrc training 

; wo nllorncys ... R~~~~~~~~ molhcr.s allorncy~s , 

! 

.. Rcbcc. 

- ' 

without luck. when he hcnrd a rn nd lor a paren' 

' 

ossisfancc holiillc he called the number and wns told 

j; :a's atlorncy's fecs, fostcrcnrc fees, prenalnl lccs lor Rcbcccn's 

: j:,; molhcr, *fler nebccca was born lhcre 

couldn'l help him, bul lllal hc should call the Child Snving . 

cxpcnscs,N 

lnslilulc ICSI). 

il , Rcbccca, now 26 monlhs old, is "a normal, hnppy and 

"They (CSI) ltnd n progrnm for unwcd molhers, but nolhing ;; be~uliful girl." Jandrt, who rcccnlly lurncd 33, is now n 

for sing[c or (alhers," says JnndrL " ~ h suggcstcd ~ y I . j !< rcsource~pinnning anniysl wilh nn 0mnhn.bnscd subsidiary of 

call lhc Red Cross or the Visiting Nursc Associnlion." Pcnnclopc . I :': Amcricnn Express. 

. S. Parker. the CSI social workcr who lnikcd wilh Jondrl, told :;jH c said his nnd Rchcccn's lives had sclllcd down lo n "fairly 

him lo cnll bnck if he drew n blnnk. ! t.. prcd~clnblc 

schcdulc." Wcckdny mornings hc drops hcr off 

Thc Visiting Nurscs didn't hove a progrnm lor him. The ;.-at a ncigl~bor's homc nnd picks hcr up on ll~c way homc. 

Red Cross's wns innppropriolc: "Three lwo.t~our clnsscs whcrc . ' :.'; Rcbcccn's cllccl on his corccr? "I1 anyrhing, il hns hnd n 

you dinpcr a bnby nnd chnngc it and bnlh~ it ;,. but il was ' :;:posilive clfccl. Thc rcsponsibilily fnclor hns incrrased." Jondrt 

working wilh dolls." ::said 11c had cul down on ovcrlimc, howcvcr. "If I didn'l dccm il 

uy this lime, Jnndrl had two nllorncys working on his 

J :absolulely ncccssary now, 1 wouldnsl work it," 

cnsc. "They found lhcrc wns very lillic lcgol informnlion lo -. - . . - 

provldc us l~clp whcn we were preparing lo go to trial. Wilnl il 

comc down to," hc snid. "was: 'Rick, you'vc go1 lo provc 

yoursell. You'vc go1 lo prove lo these pcoplc tho1 you cnn lnkc . 

cnrc 01 n b~lby, lhnl you cnn raise lhis child wilhoul alhcr 

pcoplc slcppin~ in lo lnkc over! " 

ecnliing 111s mounting Iruslrnllon, Jnndrl said. "I wnnlcd lo 

Rlcnrn IOW to takc care of nn infant, nnd I was lindin 

noll~in avnilnblc lo 11clp me!' Depressed and nnxious, he colic ti 

the CIjid Snving l~~slilulc ngnin. 

Sincc his cnrlicr cnll, lhc socinl workcr had discussed his '. 

silunlion will1 co~workcrs. "They had agrccd to comc up wilh n 

progrnm individunlly lnilorcd lor me, Inking cnrc 01 children, 

ballling nnd feeding Il~cm, and I would bc working wilh real, 

live bnbics!" 

Lnlcr, his socinl workcr pul him in conlncl wilh Ilcn 

Cncioppo, n psycl~intric socinl worker and lcncl~cr, lo help him 

Sce FATIlEIl I'oge 5 .

TIUADOPTION' Llbrary, Inc., P.O. Dox 630, Wcr~mlnrtcr, CA 92684 

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Articles Book III - Pg 1300-1479 (Reunions etc) - triadoption

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