i-D Magazine

DANNY ROBERTS
tastic. So tall and thin!” Mustering a meek smile, I
mumbled something incomprehensible and walked
away, my head spinning.
There I was, receiving acceptance from Ms. Joan
that I had always sought but never obtained as a
child. I was finally good enough for her, had finally
cracked the code to her perception of “beauty.” So
how did it feel? Joyous, bursting, as though I had
finally won a great battle? This would have been
foolish of me, seeing as how the battle had only
begun. I must admit I felt a certain satisfaction in
winning Ms. Joan’s approval, but I now realize that
her perception was just as distorted as mine had
been. I went on to struggle with my eating disorder
for many years, and even now I fight everyday to
keep myself happy, healthy and strong. My amazing
family, especially my mother, has helped me do this.
It has not been an easy journey, but it has made me
so much stronger for having had the experience
Despondency overwhelms me when I think of the
countless girls who have been through Ms. Joan’s
classes, all receiving the same negative message.
They have grown up thinking that all of this was
normal, with an innate belief that they will never be
good enough...and nothing was ever done about it.
Today, being well on my way in the process of
recovery, I see that having gone through my eating
disorder has ultimately given me a much healthier
body image than most people will ever experience.
Hopefully, drawing from my own experiences, I can
help everyone in my life (the girls, boys, women
and men) to establish a healthy body image. But I
can only hope that all the other children who went
through Ms. Joan’s class, many of them now adults,
will have someone to love and support them as well.
If I could be a healthy role model for just one person
struggling with negative or distorted body image,
my struggles will have not been in vain.
i-D THE SPEAK UP ISSUE 117