11.11.2014 Views

Walking together: Healing and hope for Colombian refugees

Walking together: Healing and hope for Colombian refugees

Walking together: Healing and hope for Colombian refugees

SHOW MORE
SHOW LESS

You also want an ePaper? Increase the reach of your titles

YUMPU automatically turns print PDFs into web optimized ePapers that Google loves.

WALKING TOGETHER<br />

<strong>Healing</strong> <strong>and</strong> Hope <strong>for</strong> <strong>Colombian</strong> Refugees<br />

A Resource <strong>for</strong> Canadian Churches that sponsor<br />

<strong>Colombian</strong> Refugees


WALKING TOGETHER<br />

<strong>Healing</strong> <strong>and</strong> Hope <strong>for</strong> <strong>Colombian</strong> Refugees<br />

A Resource <strong>for</strong> Canadian Churches that sponsor<br />

<strong>Colombian</strong> Refugees<br />

Shalom Wiebe


WALKING TOGETHER: <strong>Healing</strong> <strong>and</strong> Hope <strong>for</strong> <strong>Colombian</strong> Refugees<br />

Published jointly by Mennonite Central Committee Colombia <strong>and</strong> Coordinación Eclesial para la Acción Psicosocial.<br />

Editors:<br />

Bonnie Klassen, MCC Representative in Colombia<br />

Jennifer Chappell Deckert, MSW, MCC Service Worker<br />

Susanne Walker Wilson, MSW, MCC Service Worker<br />

Paul Stucky, PhD., Director, CEAS<br />

Carlos Lozano, Lawyer, Center <strong>for</strong> Transitional Justice, Colombia<br />

Cellia Vasquez, Anthropologist, Member of Justice <strong>and</strong> Peace Committee, Teusaquillo Mennonite Church<br />

Fanny Gomez, Member of CEAS Coordination Committee<br />

Luis Correa, Member of Teusaquillo Mennonite Church<br />

Sharlene Wiebe, Mother of the author<br />

Elizabeth Miller, Historian, MCC Service Worker<br />

Graphic Design by Rocio Neme Neiva<br />

Cover photograph <strong>and</strong> other photography by Shalom Wiebe.<br />

The individuals who appear in the photographs do not correspond to the <strong>Colombian</strong>s who participated in interviews.<br />

Special Thanks to:<br />

The Center <strong>for</strong> Victims of Torture in Minneapolis <strong>and</strong> the Strategies <strong>for</strong> Trauma Awareness <strong>and</strong> Resilience Program at<br />

Eastern Mennonite University <strong>for</strong> permitting the reproduction of some of their resources <strong>for</strong> use in this publication.<br />

Jan Richardson <strong>for</strong> the use of her poem:<br />

From Night Visions: Searching the Shadows of Advent <strong>and</strong> Christmas © Jan L. Richardson. janrichardson.com. Used<br />

by permission of the author.<br />

Roberto Carlos De Armas Dominguez <strong>for</strong> his cultural insights, support <strong>and</strong> encouragement.<br />

© Shalom Wiebe, 2011<br />

© Mennonite Central Committee Colombia, 2011<br />

www.mcc.org<br />

mccrep@colombia.mcc.org<br />

© Coordinación Eclesial para la Acción Psicosocial, CEAS, 2011<br />

A joint ministry of the Mennonite Brethren, Brethren in Christ,<br />

<strong>and</strong> the Mennonite Church of Colombia.<br />

ceascolombia@yahoo.es<br />

C EAS<br />

Copyright belongs to these three entities unless otherwise noted.<br />

You are welcome to reprint material from <strong>Walking</strong> Together <strong>for</strong> educational purposes as long as you give credit to the<br />

original authors, including the Center <strong>for</strong> Victims of Torture <strong>and</strong> the Strategies <strong>for</strong> Trauma Awareness <strong>and</strong> Resilience<br />

Program.<br />

Printed in Bogotá, D.C., Colombia, 2011<br />

Editorial Codice Ltda.<br />

ISBN: 978-958-98137-7-5


For the <strong>Colombian</strong> refugee families that arrive in Canada<br />

bearing heavy burdens yet storing great <strong>hope</strong>s <strong>for</strong> the future<br />

<strong>and</strong> <strong>for</strong> the Canadian churches that love them be<strong>for</strong>e they even meet them.<br />

You have both inspired me more than I can ever say.<br />

Shalom Wiebe


There are stories<br />

embedded in our skin<br />

<strong>and</strong> words enfleshed in us,<br />

<strong>and</strong> so may you bless us<br />

with those who by tender touch<br />

release the tales,<br />

trace the lines,<br />

free the words<br />

one by one.<br />

Give to us those<br />

who will listen us<br />

into our own language<br />

till we are hoarse with the telling<br />

<strong>and</strong> with the laughter<br />

at being released<br />

from the silences we had kept<br />

so long.<br />

JAN RICHARDSON, “NIGHT VISIONS”


CONTENTS<br />

FOREWORD .................................................................................................................................................................................................11<br />

INTRODUCTION .........................................................................................................................................................................................12<br />

CONTENTS AND METHOD .....................................................................................................................................................................13<br />

A NOTE ON TERMINOLOGY ...................................................................................................................................................................14<br />

History <strong>and</strong> Context of Forced Displacement in Colombia ................................................................................................17<br />

History .........................................................................................................................................................................................17<br />

Causes of displacement .......................................................................................................................................................21<br />

Characteristics of the Refugee Journey .....................................................................................................................................25<br />

A traumatic journey ................................................................................................................................................................25<br />

Identity changes: loss <strong>and</strong> reconstruction ......................................................................................................................27<br />

Church <strong>and</strong> identity ................................................................................................................................................................29<br />

Phases of adjustment ............................................................................................................................................................30<br />

Underst<strong>and</strong>ing <strong>and</strong> Appreciating our Differences ..................................................................................................................33<br />

Cultural competence..............................................................................................................................................................33<br />

Intercultural communication ...............................................................................................................................................34<br />

Conflict styles ............................................................................................................................................................................37<br />

Cultural tips ................................................................................................................................................................................39<br />

Cultural observations from <strong>Colombian</strong> <strong>refugees</strong> .........................................................................................................50<br />

Using interpreters ....................................................................................................................................................................53<br />

Promoting Restoration from Refugee Trauma .........................................................................................................................55<br />

Underst<strong>and</strong>ing refugee trauma ..........................................................................................................................................55<br />

Effects of refugee trauma on the individual ..................................................................................................................59<br />

Flashbacks ..................................................................................................................................................................................63<br />

Effects of refugee trauma on the family .........................................................................................................................64<br />

Returning to “normal” after traumatic events ...............................................................................................................69<br />

Talking about trauma..............................................................................................................................................................70<br />

What survivors want to say to clergy ..............................................................................................................................75<br />

Reconnection ............................................................................................................................................................................77<br />

Planning <strong>and</strong> Organizing <strong>for</strong> Action .............................................................................................................................................85<br />

Listening <strong>and</strong> accompaniment ...........................................................................................................................................86<br />

Narratives - the healing story ..............................................................................................................................................87<br />

Family strengthening ..............................................................................................................................................................89<br />

Serving others - identity building & healing ...................................................................................................................90<br />

Advocacy & peacebuilding ...................................................................................................................................................91<br />

Staying healthy .........................................................................................................................................................................92<br />

Helping the family feel at home ........................................................................................................................................95<br />

Preparing the church community to welcome <strong>and</strong> befriend the refugee family ............................................97<br />

MESSAGE FROM SHALOM ................................................................................................................................................................... 100<br />

MESSAGE FROM THE JUSTICE AND PEACE COMMITTEE ......................................................................................................... 102<br />

APPENDICES ............................................................................................................................................................................................ 103<br />

REFERENCES ............................................................................................................................................................................................ 109


ABOUT THE AUTHOR:<br />

Shalom Wiebe served with MCC in Colombia between 2007 <strong>and</strong> 2011 as a support<br />

worker <strong>for</strong> people living under threat. She carried out this role through the Justice <strong>and</strong><br />

Peace Committee of the Teusaquillo Mennonite Church in Bogotá, whose mission<br />

it is to support people who have been displaced by the armed conflict <strong>and</strong> who<br />

continue to live under threat to their lives by any of the armed groups operating<br />

in Colombia. Shalom’s role with the Justice <strong>and</strong> Peace Committee involved being<br />

present in interviews with threatened people, documenting cases of human rights<br />

violations, guiding families through the process of applying <strong>for</strong> refuge in Canada as well<br />

as providing emotional support <strong>for</strong> families while they waited <strong>for</strong> their applications to<br />

be processed in the Canadian embassy. Shalom also served with the Coordinación<br />

Eclesial para la Acción Psicosocial (Church Coordination <strong>for</strong> Psychosocial Action), a<br />

ministry of the <strong>Colombian</strong> Anabaptist churches whose vision is to train <strong>and</strong> support<br />

churches around Colombia to accompany victims in their communities. Having worked<br />

with dozens of <strong>Colombian</strong> families that eventually arrived in Canada as <strong>refugees</strong>, many<br />

of whom were sponsored through the MCC, Shalom compiled this resource material<br />

as a way to support the MCC Canada Refugee Sponsorship Program <strong>and</strong> express her<br />

thanks <strong>for</strong> the work of the congregations across Canada that have <strong>and</strong> continue to<br />

receive <strong>Colombian</strong> <strong>refugees</strong> like the ones she worked with so closely <strong>for</strong> four years.<br />

ABOUT THE EDITORS:<br />

A number of Shalom’s colleagues from the Justice <strong>and</strong> Peace Committee, the<br />

Coordinación Eclesial para la Acción Psicosical <strong>and</strong> MCC Colombia served as editors.<br />

Their professional experience in psychology, social work, anthropology, history, law,<br />

<strong>and</strong> pastoral care <strong>and</strong> their backgrounds as both <strong>Colombian</strong>s <strong>and</strong> North Americans<br />

were invaluable assets in helping this material take shape.


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

11<br />

FOREWORD<br />

Ed Wiebe, MCC Canada Refugee Program Director<br />

Over the past decade or more MCC, through it’s various parts <strong>and</strong> partners, has been successful in the<br />

area of refugee protection <strong>and</strong> resettlement in the <strong>Colombian</strong> context. As an organization, MCC is now<br />

planning programs more strategically, intersecting <strong>and</strong> interacting with each other. Our collective work is<br />

evermore in partnership <strong>and</strong> community.<br />

This resource, which is specifically focused to help groups in Canada better serve refugee newcomers,<br />

allowing newcomers to be better understood <strong>and</strong> welcomed in their newly adopted homel<strong>and</strong> of<br />

Canada, is a good example of how the many strengths inherent in the support communities who<br />

accompany displaced <strong>Colombian</strong>s can work <strong>together</strong> toward more successful outcomes <strong>for</strong> those who<br />

have been displaced.<br />

It starts with a local church in Colombia such as Teusaquillo Mennonite <strong>and</strong> the programs that other<br />

local churches <strong>and</strong> organization there support <strong>and</strong> run, including entities such as the Justice <strong>and</strong> Peace<br />

Committee <strong>and</strong> Justapaz <strong>and</strong> the wider peace, justice <strong>and</strong> rights organizations that MCC Colombia works<br />

with. It continues with the MCC Canada Refugee Program which links the local groups in Colombia to<br />

the sponsoring churches in Canada through the local Provincial MCC offices. Networked across Colombia<br />

<strong>and</strong> Canada, these church organizations <strong>and</strong> individuals all work <strong>together</strong> to protect those displaced by<br />

the on-going armed conflict in Colombia.<br />

Every year the Justice <strong>and</strong> Peace Committee in Bogota works with dozens of seriously affected displaced<br />

families, providing safety <strong>and</strong> serving their immediate needs. If it is impossible to keep them safe, the<br />

families are documented <strong>for</strong> interviews with the Canadian embassy through the sponsorship mechanism<br />

of MCC Canada <strong>and</strong> its constituent churches, who actually sign the papers. So the linkage extends<br />

from local church in Colombia, through various organizational links, through the government hoops,<br />

with the final link being a local church in Canada. Every year about a dozen families arrive to safety in<br />

Canada through this avenue, while a larger number are af<strong>for</strong>ded appropriate local solutions in Colombia,<br />

without needing to leave the country. The following pages of this resource are rich with the experience<br />

all parties have gleaned along the way <strong>and</strong> are intended to aid new groups who are embarking on<br />

sponsorship. This entails signing on as the primary support group <strong>for</strong> a particular newcomer family from<br />

Colombia. While this manual is country-specific, there is also much that can be learned <strong>and</strong> used in the<br />

broader context of trauma healing borne out of conflict situations. I congratulate all who have contributed<br />

time, energy <strong>and</strong> expertise to this project, your ef<strong>for</strong>ts <strong>together</strong> enrich <strong>and</strong> extend what might have been<br />

done individually.


12 w a l k i n g t o g e t h e r<br />

INTRODUCTION<br />

This material was put <strong>together</strong> in the spirit of supporting the wonderful work of the many Canadian<br />

congregations <strong>and</strong> groups that sponsor <strong>Colombian</strong> <strong>refugees</strong> through Mennonite Central Committee<br />

Canada. Over the years Mennonite congregations in Canada have opened their doors <strong>and</strong> hearts to<br />

hundreds of <strong>Colombian</strong> <strong>refugees</strong>, following Jesus’ call in Matthew 25 to “welcome the stranger, feed the<br />

hungry <strong>and</strong> clothe the naked.”<br />

Each <strong>Colombian</strong> refugee that has been or will be welcomed to Canada through an MCC sponsorship<br />

brings with them the heavy burden of the traumas that they survived during their flight to safety. When<br />

they arrive in Canada they are confronted with the shock of a new language <strong>and</strong> <strong>for</strong>eign culture. Knowing<br />

that they are wanted, loved <strong>and</strong> accepted by a faith community is a source of strength <strong>and</strong> a foundation<br />

that often makes all the difference in how the refugee family will adjust <strong>and</strong> move ahead with their life<br />

in Canada. The role that Canadian congregations <strong>and</strong> groups play in the lives of the refugee families they<br />

sponsor can not be underestimated.<br />

The serious yet often hidden effects of refugee trauma can influence how <strong>refugees</strong> adapt <strong>and</strong> react to<br />

new situations as well as how they relate with their sponsors. Added to that is the confusion that can<br />

arise when people from two different cultures communicate <strong>and</strong> negotiate life <strong>together</strong>. All of these<br />

dynamics can add complexities <strong>and</strong> challenges to the sponsorship experience, both <strong>for</strong> the church <strong>and</strong><br />

<strong>for</strong> the refugee.<br />

This is by no means a “manual” <strong>for</strong> underst<strong>and</strong>ing <strong>Colombian</strong> <strong>refugees</strong>; such a manual would be as<br />

implausible as a manual written to explain all Canadians that travel abroad. Instead, this material was<br />

compiled with <strong>hope</strong>s that it could serve as a resource <strong>for</strong> churches that sponsor <strong>Colombian</strong> <strong>refugees</strong>,<br />

providing some insight to the factors leading to <strong>for</strong>ced displacement, the traumas that <strong>Colombian</strong> refugee<br />

families may have experienced, some observations about differences between <strong>Colombian</strong> <strong>and</strong> Canadian<br />

culture as well as some ideas <strong>for</strong> walking <strong>together</strong> with refugee families in their path towards healing<br />

<strong>and</strong> <strong>hope</strong>.


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

13<br />

CONTENTS AND METHOD<br />

This resource contains five chapters. The first chapter, History <strong>and</strong> Context of Forced Displacement in<br />

Colombia, is intended to help churches better underst<strong>and</strong> the history <strong>and</strong> context of the armed conflict<br />

in Colombia <strong>and</strong> the factors that continue to cause displacement <strong>and</strong> threat <strong>for</strong> <strong>Colombian</strong>s.<br />

The second chapter, Characteristics of the Refugee Journey, looks at the range of traumatic experiences<br />

that <strong>refugees</strong> often endure be<strong>for</strong>e, during, <strong>and</strong> after flight as well as the changes in identity that accompany<br />

each stage. The chapter concludes with an analysis of the phases of adjustment that <strong>refugees</strong> go through<br />

upon arriving in Canada <strong>and</strong> the role that the church can play in helping the refugee family pass through<br />

those phases <strong>and</strong> build a positive new identity in Canada.<br />

The third chapter, Underst<strong>and</strong>ing our Differences, focuses on building cross-cultural underst<strong>and</strong>ing<br />

between Canadians <strong>and</strong> <strong>Colombian</strong>s. It contains sections on the importance of building cross-cultural<br />

competence, <strong>Colombian</strong> cultural tips, <strong>and</strong> observations from <strong>Colombian</strong> <strong>refugees</strong> in Canada. The chapter<br />

concludes with a section on using interpreters.<br />

The fourth chapter, Promoting Restoration from Refugee Trauma, is intended to help churches<br />

underst<strong>and</strong> the normal effects, reactions <strong>and</strong> concerns <strong>for</strong> survivors of trauma related to war <strong>and</strong> human<br />

rights violations. Effects of trauma on the individual <strong>and</strong> the family, useful trauma recovery strategies <strong>and</strong><br />

tips on talking to survivors of trauma are addressed.<br />

The fifth chapter, Planning <strong>and</strong> Organizing <strong>for</strong> Action, is intended to help churches plan accompaniment<br />

strategies <strong>for</strong> their sponsored <strong>Colombian</strong> refugee family. The topics of listening <strong>and</strong> accompaniment,<br />

narratives - the healing story, family strengthening, serving others - identity building <strong>and</strong> healing, advocacy<br />

<strong>and</strong> peacebuilding, staying healthy, helping the family feel at home, <strong>and</strong> preparing church community to<br />

welcome <strong>and</strong> befriend refugee family are addressed with guiding questions, suggestions <strong>and</strong> ideas <strong>for</strong><br />

the church to consider.<br />

Vignettes <strong>and</strong> quotes from both displaced <strong>Colombian</strong>s still living in Colombia as well as <strong>Colombian</strong> <strong>refugees</strong><br />

living in Canada can be found throughout the text. These vignettes <strong>and</strong> quotes were obtained in two<br />

manners. The quotes from displaced <strong>Colombian</strong>s were obtained through the Justice <strong>and</strong> Peace Committee<br />

of the Teusaquillo Mennonite Church in Bogotá, during weekly support-group sessions <strong>for</strong> displaced people<br />

led by Paul Stucky. The quotes from <strong>Colombian</strong> <strong>refugees</strong> were obtained through a series of phone interviews<br />

with 13 refugee families living in Canada. These interviews were conducted by Shalom Wiebe, who through<br />

her work with the Justice <strong>and</strong> Peace Committee at the Teusaquillo Mennonite Church had accompanied<br />

each of the families through the process of applying <strong>for</strong> refuge in Canada. Nine of the <strong>Colombian</strong> <strong>refugees</strong><br />

interviewed were sponsored by Mennonite churches in Canada while four were sponsored by the Canadian<br />

government. The <strong>refugees</strong> interviewed lived in the provinces of Alberta, Saskatchewan, Manitoba, Ontario<br />

<strong>and</strong> Quebec at the time they were interviewed. The interviewees participated in the phone interviews<br />

voluntarily <strong>and</strong> with full knowledge <strong>and</strong> consent that their words would be used <strong>for</strong> this guide. All names,<br />

both of <strong>Colombian</strong> <strong>refugees</strong> <strong>and</strong> internally displaced persons, have been changed.


14 w a l k i n g t o g e t h e r<br />

A NOTE ON TERMINOLOGY<br />

Throughout this resource material the term refugee is used. It is important to consider the implications<br />

of the use of words such as refugee, immigrant or <strong>for</strong>eigner. These words denote someone who does<br />

not belong, someone from elsewhere, someone who is not “one of us,” the “other.” When a <strong>Colombian</strong><br />

family comes to Canada through the Canadian Government’s Humanitarian Protection Program, they<br />

may or may not be <strong>refugees</strong> as defined by the Geneva Convention. Those that come through the<br />

Source Country Program, directly from Colombia to Canada, are technically never <strong>refugees</strong>. Yet, they<br />

come because they are fleeing in fear <strong>for</strong> their lives. Once they come to Canada, what category do they<br />

belong to: <strong>refugees</strong>, immigrants, <strong>for</strong>eigners, citizens? How long do they belong in that category? The<br />

technical answer is that they are immigrants that came through the refugee class, <strong>and</strong> they are now<br />

permanent residents of Canada, <strong>and</strong> may apply <strong>for</strong> citizenship after three years in Canada. However, <strong>for</strong><br />

the purpose of this resource material, these questions are not about technicalities. Rather than worrying<br />

about categories, it is useful to think about the effect that these terms can have on the newly arrived<br />

families. While the term refugee conjures images of someone who has suffered poverty, homelessness,<br />

starvation, years in refugee camps <strong>and</strong> so on (ironically, these images are, in fact, not applicable to all<br />

<strong>refugees</strong>), the term immigrant denotes someone who is <strong>for</strong>eign or perhaps not yet fully Canadian, or<br />

who is a different “class” of Canadian. For refugee <strong>and</strong> immigrant families, these terms carry connotations<br />

that they would probably rather not be attached to, <strong>and</strong> that are in no way helpful <strong>for</strong> themselves nor the<br />

greater Canadian society in achieving unity <strong>and</strong> mutual respect.<br />

After careful thought <strong>and</strong> deliberations surrounding the use of terminology, we chose to continue with<br />

the term refugee. However, congregations are encouraged to try <strong>and</strong> find creative alternatives to the<br />

word refugee, such as “our new neighbours” or simply “new Canadians.” Doing so will help others to<br />

see people that come to Canada through the refugee program not just as <strong>refugees</strong> but as community<br />

members no different than themselves. It will also affirm to the families you sponsor that they belong in<br />

their new Canadian community just as much as everyone else.


History <strong>and</strong> Context of Forced<br />

Displacement in Colombia<br />

<strong>Colombian</strong>s come to Canada <strong>for</strong> a variety of reasons - some come <strong>for</strong> economic reasons, as workers<br />

or professionals, others come as members of Canadian families, <strong>and</strong> others come seeking safety, as<br />

<strong>refugees</strong>. <strong>Colombian</strong>s that flee Colombia as <strong>refugees</strong> do so because they can no longer live safely in their<br />

country. For a <strong>Colombian</strong> to receive refuge in Canada through the Canadian Government’s Humanitarian<br />

Protection Program, he or she must prove that they were living under serious threat of death <strong>and</strong> could<br />

no longer live in any part of Colombia.<br />

The journey to Canada <strong>for</strong> most <strong>Colombian</strong> <strong>refugees</strong> begins with <strong>for</strong>ced displacement from their original<br />

homes, farms, towns or cities. Forced displacement usually involves loss of l<strong>and</strong>, home, jobs, belongings,<br />

educational pursuits, dreams, friends, community, social ties, <strong>and</strong> all sense of security. In order to better<br />

underst<strong>and</strong> the variety of factors that cause <strong>for</strong>ced displacement in Colombia, it is helpful to underst<strong>and</strong><br />

the history <strong>and</strong> context of the armed conflict in Colombia.<br />

HISTORY<br />

In the 200 years since Colombia became a Republic, the population has only enjoyed five years of<br />

relative peace. 1 It is a society of victims <strong>and</strong> perpetrators, with a blurred distinction between one <strong>and</strong> the<br />

other. The diverse <strong>for</strong>ms of violence affect <strong>Colombian</strong> people as individuals, but also as a whole society;<br />

millions of people are affected simultaneously by the same realities. In a society that suffers collective<br />

traumatization, where everyone seems to carry too much fear <strong>and</strong> pain to live truly healthy lives, healing<br />

will also need to unfold collectively.<br />

Although the root causes of the <strong>Colombian</strong> conflict lie in the structures of exploitation <strong>and</strong> exclusion<br />

generated after the Spanish invasion in the early 1500s, the current internal armed conflict started with<br />

the unsatisfactory resolution of the civil war, called “La Violencia,” between Conservatives <strong>and</strong> Liberals<br />

that tore the country apart between 1948 <strong>and</strong> the late 1950s. Insurgent or guerrilla groups <strong>for</strong>med<br />

during the mid 1960s in response to the economic exclusion <strong>and</strong> political intolerance perpetrated<br />

by the peace agreements signed by the Conservative <strong>and</strong> Liberal elites in 1957. Two main insurgent<br />

groups, FARC (Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia) <strong>and</strong> the ELN (National Liberation Army) gained<br />

1. The History section has been adapted by Bonnie Klassen from her previous publication, Klassen, B., (2006) Opening Space <strong>for</strong><br />

<strong>Healing</strong> in Colombia, in Peacebuilding in Traumatized Societies, <strong>and</strong> the MCC Colombia Field Guide.


18<br />

w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

extensive power <strong>and</strong> maintain significant territorial control even now, while several smaller groups started<br />

<strong>and</strong> later demobilized or signed peace treaties.<br />

Private security armies <strong>and</strong> paramilitary groups later <strong>for</strong>med as a reaction to the insecurity caused by the<br />

insurgents. Many of these groups joined <strong>together</strong> in 1997 under the leadership of Carlos Castaño to<br />

<strong>for</strong>m a loose federation known as the Autodefensas Unidas de Colombia - AUC.<br />

The elite, with support from the state military <strong>for</strong>ces <strong>and</strong>/or paramilitary groups, have consistently<br />

suppressed <strong>and</strong> often eliminated political opposition <strong>for</strong>ces. From the mid-1980s until the present,<br />

approximately 4,000 political opposition leaders have been assassinated in addition to several thous<strong>and</strong><br />

assassinated community <strong>and</strong> labour union leaders. The largest group of assassinated leaders belonged<br />

to the Patriotic Union, a political group that arose as a result of a peace treaty between the government<br />

<strong>and</strong> one of the insurgent groups in the 1980s. The massive assassinations not only killed people but also<br />

the insurgency’s trust in political solutions.<br />

In 2005 the majority of the paramilitary groups belonging to the AUC demobilized, after secretive<br />

negotiations with the Uribe government. Fifteen top comm<strong>and</strong>ers of the AUC were extradited to the United<br />

States as drug traffickers. However, the Justice <strong>and</strong> Peace Law has not facilitated truth nor reparations <strong>for</strong><br />

victims of the AUC as promised. Instead, thous<strong>and</strong>s of <strong>for</strong>mer AUC members have re-mobilized, using<br />

the same structures, mode of operation <strong>and</strong> sources of financing as be<strong>for</strong>e. Moreover, with the absence<br />

of their traditional leaders, the splintered neo-paramilitary groups battle with each other <strong>for</strong> the control<br />

of resources <strong>and</strong> territory.<br />

Over time all of the armed groups have turned increasingly towards using violence to maintain power<br />

<strong>and</strong> gain control over economic resources (mainly minerals, oil <strong>and</strong> coca, used <strong>for</strong> cocaine), while the<br />

civilian population has suffered. Nearly 5 million people have been <strong>for</strong>ced to flee from their homes in<br />

the last 20 years. Colombia has the second highest number of internally displaced people in the world,<br />

after Sudan. 2 Tens of thous<strong>and</strong>s of people have been assassinated, disappeared <strong>and</strong> arbitrarily detained.<br />

Perhaps as many as 16,000 children <strong>and</strong> minors have entered into the ranks of the armed groups.<br />

Many factors have shaped the foundations <strong>and</strong> the development of Colombia’s internal armed conflict.<br />

Moreover, as happens in many protracted armed conflicts, the principle issues that sparked the war are<br />

now intertwined with myriad other significant issues feeding the on-going confrontation. All of the armed<br />

groups function out of a complex mix of motives: economic, political, social, cultural <strong>and</strong> military.<br />

Socio-economic inequalities: The Comisión de Estudios sobre la Violencia (Commission of Studies<br />

on Violence) concluded in 1987 that the violence in Colombia has more to do with the high percentage<br />

2. In 2010, the Internal Displacement Monitoring Centre registered 4,915,579 internally displaced people in Colombia, a number<br />

that puts Colombia at par with or even above Sudan in terms of displacement. For the most recent numbers, visit: www.internaldisplacement.org


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

19<br />

of people living in absolute poverty <strong>and</strong> the deep socio-economic inequalities than with the armed<br />

groups themselves. Violence does not just come out of the barrel of a gun; it is also fuelled by the<br />

suffering of those who live in miserable conditions. Desperate people use violence as a means to seek<br />

change <strong>and</strong> the poor can view membership in an armed group as a source of employment or power.<br />

At the same time, violence also aggravates the inequalities. Particular economic groups, drug cartels<br />

<strong>and</strong> large l<strong>and</strong>-owners created private armies in Colombia to protect their interests <strong>and</strong> to exp<strong>and</strong> their<br />

monopoly over economic resources. Several studies have shown the connection between AUC presence<br />

<strong>and</strong> the concentration of property, drug trafficking <strong>and</strong> a consolidation of economic mega-projects<br />

that violate the interests of the local population. The Consulting Office <strong>for</strong> Human Rights <strong>and</strong> Forced<br />

Displacement – CODHES – estimates that the AUC <strong>and</strong> the drug cartels took approximately 5 million<br />

hectares of l<strong>and</strong> by <strong>for</strong>ce between 1997-2003.<br />

Political Control: Alongside the economic interests that motivate the creation of private armies,<br />

the dominant political leaders’ desire to maintain power <strong>and</strong> repress minority opposition groups has<br />

strengthened these armed actors. Selective assassinations <strong>and</strong> disappearances committed by the<br />

paramilitaries weaken alternative political groups <strong>and</strong> maintain the power imbalance weighted towards the<br />

traditional political-economic elite, thus breaking down the public democratic process. During the second<br />

semester of 2006 the Supreme Court of Justice began to process dozens of cases of congressional<br />

members, government functionaries <strong>and</strong> regional politicians accused of maintaining alliances with the<br />

AUC, thus highlighting a historic reality that the media suddenly sc<strong>and</strong>alized as “para-politics.” In regions<br />

where the insurgent groups have gained control, similar patterns arise. The FARC <strong>and</strong> the ELN use threats<br />

<strong>and</strong> assassinations to maintain their influence over local <strong>and</strong> regional governments.<br />

The Role of the State: Overall, the State has not maintained a permanent presence in much of<br />

Colombia’s territory <strong>and</strong> there<strong>for</strong>e illegal armed groups (guerrilla <strong>and</strong> paramilitary groups) have filled<br />

these gaps. In addition, with regards to the private armies propagated by powerful elite, the State has<br />

often turned a blind eye rather than seeking to regain monopoly over the use of <strong>for</strong>ce. The state has not<br />

functioned as an impartial entity protecting the common good, but rather has allowed certain groups to<br />

use private armed actors to impose their interests. Moreover, human rights organizations have extensively<br />

documented the collaboration between State Armed Forces <strong>and</strong> the private defence groups.<br />

Psychological Factors – individual <strong>and</strong> collective trauma: Personal psychological elements have<br />

also played a significant role in the growth of armed groups. The FARC initiated in response to the<br />

<strong>Colombian</strong> State bombing of an “autonomous civilian commune” in 1964. Decades later FARC leaders<br />

point back to the losses suffered then as the instigation <strong>for</strong> their war. The principle leaders of the AUC,<br />

as well as many of their combatants, all suffered insurgent attacks on their family members. As the<br />

different armed groups absorb this chosen trauma into their identity, they feel entitled, as victims, to<br />

always act with reference to the initial violation against them. The desire <strong>for</strong> revenge <strong>and</strong> fear of future<br />

attacks generates a psychological framework that supports systematic violence against a profoundly<br />

“bad” enemy. In a context of around 98% impunity, the armed groups easily convince themselves that<br />

they are acting in favour of justice by eliminating the other groups. This deep sense of “righteousness”


20<br />

w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

has given armed group members from all sides the psychological strength to commit horrific attacks<br />

against civilians accused (falsely) as supporters of the other group.<br />

Additionally, centuries of violence in Colombia have produced a widespread acceptance of aggression<br />

as a means to deal with conflict. Deep traumas stretch from one generation to the next because no<br />

adequate process has helped people digest their pain. Repressed pain then expresses itself in a variety<br />

of ways, including cycles of violence within the family <strong>and</strong> the community. Many youth join one of the<br />

armed groups to escape violence at home <strong>and</strong> then paradoxically live out the violence they detest. These<br />

dynamics fuel all of the armed groups.<br />

Ideological factors <strong>and</strong> International influence: Colombia’s insurgent groups began during the Latin<br />

American revolutionary era, on the tails of Fidel Castro’s triumph in Cuba. Ideological discourse against<br />

injustice, oppression <strong>and</strong> imperialism frames the action of the guerrilla groups. In response, the ideologies<br />

behind the National Security Doctrine of <strong>Colombian</strong> President Turbay (1978-1982) <strong>and</strong> the Democratic<br />

Security policies promoted by President Uribe (2002 - 2010) have motivated the violence committed<br />

by the paramilitaries in connection with the State Armed Forces. Politicians have injected fear in the<br />

population <strong>and</strong> then justified exaggerated militarism <strong>and</strong> diverse mechanisms that infringe on human<br />

rights as necessary strategies to ensure people’s safety. In addition, international players, particularly the<br />

United States’ government, have fed the militarization of <strong>Colombian</strong> society by promoting military solutions<br />

<strong>and</strong> providing massive amounts of weapons. 3<br />

In the last two years, it has come to public light that the State Armed Forces have killed thous<strong>and</strong>s of<br />

civilians <strong>and</strong> then presented them as insurgents killed in combat, to inflate their statistics of success <strong>and</strong><br />

to obtain rewards from the government. An evaluation by the United Nations concluded that in some<br />

sectors of the State Armed Forces, this has been a systematic practice. This horrific phenomenon has<br />

been commonly referred to as “false positives.” 4 The State secret intelligence office has also been found<br />

to have systematically carried out illegal phone <strong>and</strong> correspondence tapping of human rights defenders,<br />

Judges, journalists, opposition party members, among others <strong>for</strong> many years.<br />

Colombia is one of the countries in Latin America with the highest level of economic disparity between<br />

the wealthy <strong>and</strong> the poor <strong>and</strong> has an ever-widening gap. It ranks 11th in the world in terms of levels of<br />

inequality. These inequalities generate intense levels of social conflict, frustration <strong>and</strong> desperation within<br />

<strong>Colombian</strong> society. On one level, severe economic disparities exist within all urban centres throughout<br />

the country. Every city has extensive slum areas where people subsist in subhuman conditions - without<br />

adequate health, education, safe water, roads or sanitary services. In addition, certain regions of the country,<br />

particularly rural areas, have traditionally suffered from total ab<strong>and</strong>onment by the state <strong>and</strong> thus have little<br />

3. According to Just the Facts (justf.org), between 2000-2011, the U.S. sent nearly 6 billion USD of military aid to Colombia.<br />

Colombia is the second country in the world in terms of receiving U.S. military aid.<br />

4. A guerrilla that is killed in combat is called a “positive,” since it apparently shows the “positive progress” that the army is making<br />

in the conflict against the guerrillas. Thus, a person who was killed <strong>and</strong> presented falsely as a guerrilla became known as a “false<br />

positive.”


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

21<br />

or no infrastructure. This has meant that illegal armed groups (insurgents <strong>and</strong> paramilitaries) can easily take<br />

over large territorial blocks.<br />

Colombia’s legal economic activity revolves around petroleum, coal, coffee, tropical fruits, flowers, textiles<br />

<strong>and</strong> leather, emeralds <strong>and</strong> sugar cane. Tragically, the monopoly of the <strong>Colombian</strong> elite over the country’s<br />

wealth has led to the creation of a high level of parallel illegal economic activity, first in the emerald trade,<br />

then marijuana <strong>and</strong> then, since the 1980s, cocaine <strong>and</strong> heroin. In the early 1990s, Colombia moved<br />

from not only being the world’s biggest “processor” of coca-to-cocaine, to also becoming the biggest<br />

“cultivator” of coca as this crop was pushed out of Bolivia <strong>and</strong> Peru by massive fumigation programs. The<br />

coca production cycle has become concentrated in Colombia <strong>and</strong> now finances illegal activities within<br />

many sectors of society, including all of the armed groups. Large scale money laundering mechanisms<br />

exist as a result of the illegal activities. The dem<strong>and</strong> <strong>for</strong> cocaine in other countries keeps the incentives<br />

high <strong>for</strong> coca farmers who have no other viable agricultural options.<br />

Since 1991, the <strong>Colombian</strong> government has opened up the <strong>Colombian</strong> economy to the international<br />

trade market. <strong>Colombian</strong>s now face the challenge of confronting economic globalization in a country with<br />

inadequate infrastructure <strong>and</strong> few subsidies. In recent years, Colombia’s economic policies have essentially<br />

followed the guidelines <strong>and</strong> dem<strong>and</strong>s from the International Monetary Fund <strong>and</strong> the World Bank. Many<br />

sectors of society fear that the Free Trade Agreements negotiated with the United States <strong>and</strong> Canada will<br />

lead to greater difficulties <strong>for</strong> the <strong>Colombian</strong> economy. Free Trade with Canada could potentially exacerbate<br />

a very difficult situation of human rights violations around the extractive industry in Colombia. 5<br />

CAUSES OF DISPLACEMENT<br />

Displacement is never voluntary. The causes of <strong>for</strong>ced displacement in Colombia vary, <strong>and</strong> each family’s<br />

case is unique. Although diverse, the driving factors behind <strong>for</strong>ced displacement can be grouped into<br />

general categories. What follows are six leading causes of displacement in Colombia. 6<br />

Paramilitary Violence: The activities of old <strong>and</strong> newly <strong>for</strong>med paramilitary groups is the leading cause<br />

of displacement in Colombia. Paramilitaries use <strong>for</strong>ce, threats <strong>and</strong> violence to displace campesino<br />

farmers from their l<strong>and</strong>. The objective of paramilitary groups in Colombia is to gain political, military <strong>and</strong><br />

strategic domination of large pieces of territory <strong>for</strong> the benefit of powerful economic interests, almost<br />

always associated with the cultivation of drugs, although also associated with monoculture of lucrative<br />

crops such as African Palm. Paramilitaries are known to have relationships with State agents, to threaten<br />

(<strong>and</strong> kill) social <strong>and</strong> political opposition leaders, <strong>and</strong> to impose hegemonic <strong>and</strong> arbitrary models of social,<br />

institutional <strong>and</strong> political control.<br />

5. Canadian companies control over 50% of extractive activity in Colombia.<br />

6. This section is adapted from ¿Salto estratégico o salto al vacío? El desplazamiento <strong>for</strong>zado en los tiempos de la seguridad democrática.<br />

Bulletin #76, January 2010, Bogotá. CODHES - Consultoría para los Derechos Humanos y el Desplazamiento http://www.codhes.org<br />

Sections on Displacement by Agents of the State <strong>and</strong> Megaprojects contributed by Carlos Lozano, a lawyer who works with the Centre<br />

<strong>for</strong> Transitional Justice in Colombia <strong>and</strong> is member of the Justice <strong>and</strong> Peace Committee of the Teusaquillo Mennonite Church.


22<br />

w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

Conflict between the national armed <strong>for</strong>ces <strong>and</strong><br />

the guerrilla: Secondly, displacement takes place<br />

in zones where there is active conflict over territory<br />

between the national armed <strong>for</strong>ces <strong>and</strong> guerrilla<br />

<strong>for</strong>ces. In the resulting conflict, the local population<br />

is effectively trapped under the crossfire. In these<br />

zones, the national army often fails to distinguish<br />

between guerilla combatants <strong>and</strong> civil population, a<br />

dire violation of international humanitarian law. As<br />

the national army moves into a region to take military<br />

control, civil society is often involuntarily brought into<br />

the conflict, accused by the military of belonging to<br />

the guerrilla or vice versa. Zones of conflict between<br />

the army <strong>and</strong> the guerrilla are characterized by the<br />

indiscriminate planting of l<strong>and</strong> mines <strong>and</strong> massive<br />

<strong>for</strong>ced recruitment of children by the guerrilla as well<br />

as regular military checkpoints <strong>and</strong> control over the<br />

movement of food products by the national armed<br />

<strong>for</strong>ces. In areas with guerrilla presence, civilians are<br />

often <strong>for</strong>ced to pay in<strong>for</strong>mal “taxes,” to do err<strong>and</strong>s such<br />

as bringing supplies from town to a camp location, loan<br />

personal belongings such as vehicles, or to provide<br />

services or goods to the guerrilla. Cooperation may<br />

temporarily allow civilians to continue to live in peace<br />

in the region, however it also puts them in danger<br />

as being seen <strong>and</strong> treated as “guerrillas” by the army<br />

or the paramilitaries. Non-cooperation usually leads to<br />

threats of death or <strong>for</strong>ced recruitment of minors <strong>and</strong><br />

often families are <strong>for</strong>ced to flee on short notice, leaving<br />

homes, belongings, crops <strong>and</strong> animals behind.<br />

Displacement by Agents of the State: In many<br />

cases the state armed <strong>for</strong>ces (the army <strong>and</strong> police)<br />

are involved in displacing civilians. Abuses by state<br />

<strong>for</strong>ces may range from illegal occupation of private<br />

l<strong>and</strong>, schools <strong>and</strong> churches to cooperation with<br />

paramilitary groups. Sexual violence against local<br />

women perpetrated by state <strong>for</strong>ces is another cause of<br />

displacement. Social <strong>and</strong> community leaders that have<br />

denounced the abuses of the state military in their<br />

region may be <strong>for</strong>ced to flee to protect themselves<br />

from the repercussions. This situation is very serious<br />

Internally displaced <strong>Colombian</strong>s<br />

share their experiences:<br />

“Soldiers from the army would come<br />

<strong>and</strong> say ‘charge up my cell phone’<br />

<strong>and</strong> ‘sell me some food.’ And later<br />

the guerrilla or paramilitaries would<br />

come asking <strong>for</strong> the same thing.<br />

Each one accused me of belonging to<br />

the other. One looks at them not as<br />

guerrillas or paramilitaries, but as<br />

human beings. None of them wore a<br />

name tag saying ‘I belong to...’ I was<br />

caught in the middle of this conflict.<br />

My God! If I’d known who was<br />

who, I would have never sold them<br />

anything.”<br />

-Antonio<br />

“What they say is true. We left<br />

because the guerrillas were going to<br />

take the boys. I have three...”<br />

-Maria<br />

“The paramilitaries cut apart one<br />

of my family members <strong>and</strong> told us<br />

not to report it, to act as though<br />

nothing had happened. For three<br />

years we saw them parading by...<br />

Even though I knew they had an<br />

office of lawyers in front of the<br />

Prosecutor’s office, I went to report<br />

what had happened to my family.<br />

That’s when the problems started.”<br />

-Eli


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

23<br />

<strong>for</strong> two reasons. For one, the state armed <strong>for</strong>ces are deemed responsible in the <strong>Colombian</strong> constitution<br />

to protect people’s lives, property <strong>and</strong> rights. This then means that <strong>Colombian</strong> citizens are victimized<br />

by the same functionaries that should protect them. Secondly, the governmental system of attention<br />

to victims does not recognize the victims of the actions of State <strong>for</strong>ces if these actions are not proven<br />

through a judicial process. There<strong>for</strong>e, victims of the State are excluded from humanitarian assistance,<br />

from participation in the Justice <strong>and</strong> Peace Law 7 <strong>and</strong> from the government’s administrative reparation<br />

program. Victims of the state are deliberately <strong>and</strong> systematically excluded from any institutional offers of<br />

attention to victims.<br />

Urban Violence: Urban violence in Colombia’s cities causes both intraurban (from neighbourhood<br />

to neighbourhood) <strong>and</strong> interurban (from city to city) displacement. The armed conflict, which was<br />

once a primarily rural phenomenon taking place in the jungles <strong>and</strong> mountains, can now be found in<br />

the cities. There is increased violence in Colombia’s larger cities, with new armed conflicts related to<br />

drug trafficking, money laundering, social <strong>and</strong> political control, growth of militias <strong>and</strong> the rearming of<br />

demobilized paramilitaries.<br />

Aerial Fumigation: Another notable cause of displacement is that of arial fumigations <strong>and</strong> <strong>for</strong>ced<br />

eradication of illicit crops. Eradication operations are carried out by military <strong>and</strong> police <strong>for</strong>ces, often with<br />

backup from demobilized members of the illegal armed groups. The military operations that accompany<br />

the fumigations generate risks <strong>for</strong> local civil society, who become the target <strong>for</strong> threats <strong>and</strong>, in some<br />

“I was happy with my family, my work <strong>and</strong> my studies. I had a house <strong>and</strong> a home. Then the river parted<br />

<strong>and</strong> the sadness began. Displacement, sadness, tears, impotence, nostalgia, loneliness. You wish you could<br />

return to your l<strong>and</strong>, but you know you can’t. I see that Jesus loves me a lot, <strong>and</strong> cling to the <strong>hope</strong> that he<br />

has something good in store <strong>for</strong> me.”<br />

- F r a n c i s c o<br />

“The death of my father <strong>and</strong> my brother was a terrible blow<br />

<strong>for</strong> me. The paramilitaries killed my father 15 days after<br />

killing my brother. Everything was confusing, I didn’t know<br />

where to go but we had to leave running. I wanted to stop,<br />

but I couldn’t. Worse things happened every day. They tried<br />

to rape my sisters. The danger continues, but God is with us.”<br />

-Cristian<br />

”You feel anger, fear, distrust,<br />

the desire <strong>for</strong> vengeance,<br />

resistance, sadness, a profound<br />

rage, <strong>and</strong> disappointment.”<br />

-Richard<br />

“You sleep with one eye open.”<br />

-Edwin<br />

7. The Justice <strong>and</strong> Peace Law offers significantly reduced prison sentences in exchange <strong>for</strong> paramilitaries telling the truth. The<br />

primary benefit gained by victims from this law is learning about what happened to their loved ones.


24<br />

w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

cases, selective assassinations. Fumigations also have a detrimental effect on food security <strong>for</strong> local<br />

communities; farmers witness to the destructive effect on their food crops. The campesinos that cultivate<br />

illicit crops are the weakest link in the drug production chain. They may have been <strong>for</strong>ced into the<br />

cultivation of illicit crops by the illegal armed groups in their region or because the market <strong>for</strong> their food<br />

crops does not provide sufficient income. Once their crops - both illicit <strong>and</strong> food - are eradicated they are<br />

left with few options: join an illegal armed group, displace to the cities, look <strong>for</strong> refuge in neighbouring<br />

countries, or cultivate coca or poppies in another location.<br />

Megaprojects: In Colombia, displacement never happens by chance. In addition to the clear connection<br />

between <strong>for</strong>ced displacement <strong>and</strong> the control of l<strong>and</strong> <strong>for</strong> military purposes, displacement is clearly connected<br />

to the location of mining, hydroelectric <strong>and</strong> extensive agro-industry megaprojects. In many cases, the small<br />

pieces of l<strong>and</strong> that belonged to displaced people end up appropriated by the owners of large economic<br />

initiatives, such as the cultivation of african palm <strong>for</strong> the production of biofuel. These cultivations use<br />

enormous quantities of l<strong>and</strong> <strong>and</strong> other natural resources. Indigenous people <strong>and</strong> Afro-<strong>Colombian</strong>s, who,<br />

under <strong>Colombian</strong> law have owner’s rights to their collective territories, have been especially affected by<br />

<strong>for</strong>ced displacement associated with economic megaprojects - their l<strong>and</strong>s are particularly rich in natural<br />

resources. These megaprojects are supported by the <strong>Colombian</strong> government because they are seen as<br />

an opportunity to promote <strong>for</strong>eign investment. Judicial investigations suggest the existence of strong links<br />

between economic megaprojects <strong>and</strong> the financing of paramilitary groups. In many cases the original owners<br />

of the l<strong>and</strong> are systematically displaced by paramilitary groups in order <strong>for</strong> megaprojects to move in.<br />

COLOMBIAN HISTORY AND CONTEXT<br />

For more in<strong>for</strong>mation on the <strong>Colombian</strong> context <strong>and</strong> internal displacement, visit the following websites:<br />

IDP Voices - visit the Colombia section to hear stories of internally displaced people <strong>and</strong> learn more about Colombia. An excellent PDF<br />

book containing the stories of 19 internally displaced people from five different regions of Colombia can be downloaded from the site.<br />

http://www.idpvoices.org/<br />

Human Rights Watch provides up to date in<strong>for</strong>mation on human rights <strong>and</strong> the armed conflict in Colombia:<br />

http://www.hrw.org/americas/colombia<br />

Internal Displacement Monitoring Centre provides current statistics on global displacement trends. Look <strong>for</strong> the Colombia<br />

under the “Countries” tab <strong>for</strong> detailed statistics, news articles <strong>and</strong> an Internal Displacement Profile on Colombia:<br />

http://www.internal-displacement.org/<br />

United Nations High Commissioner <strong>for</strong> Refugees - search <strong>for</strong> the Colombia profile. The site contains photo galleries <strong>and</strong><br />

audio-visual material: http://www.unhcr.org/<br />

The Washington Office on Latin America provides in<strong>for</strong>mation on human rights <strong>and</strong> social justice in Colombia:<br />

www.wola.org


Characteristics<br />

of the Refugee Journey<br />

A TRAUMATIC JOURNEY<br />

Because of the complexity of the <strong>Colombian</strong><br />

armed conflict, no two <strong>refugees</strong> share the<br />

same story. Just as varied as the factors that<br />

lead to their displacement are the traumatic<br />

experiences that follow: death threats, attacks,<br />

hunger, unemployment, fear, rejection by<br />

society, uncertainty about the future.<br />

Often if a <strong>Colombian</strong> officially files a case<br />

in the judicial system to report a crime<br />

committed against them or a family member,<br />

the in<strong>for</strong>mation is leaked to the very armed<br />

actors that committed the crime <strong>and</strong> the<br />

persecution of the victim intensifies. This leads<br />

many <strong>Colombian</strong>s to have great suspicion or<br />

even fear of state figures of authority such as<br />

police. Knowing who to trust is difficult <strong>and</strong><br />

stressful <strong>for</strong> <strong>refugees</strong>.<br />

The journey <strong>for</strong> <strong>refugees</strong> from danger to<br />

resettlement in Canada is perilous <strong>and</strong><br />

stressful. For the purpose of underst<strong>and</strong>ing<br />

the different types of stresses <strong>refugees</strong><br />

encounter along the way, the journey can<br />

be divided into three parts: pre-flight, flight<br />

<strong>and</strong> post-flight. Refugees face difficult <strong>and</strong><br />

traumatic situations in each stage, including<br />

the stage after arrival in Canada (post-flight).<br />

”You leave your house, but you don’t<br />

know if you will return.”<br />

- Elena<br />

“It’s an obsession that something is<br />

going to happen to you, or that someone<br />

is going to hurt you.”<br />

- Marta<br />

“You are in a tunnel, waiting <strong>and</strong><br />

hoping to see the light.”<br />

- Oscar<br />

“It’s not just the displacement, but<br />

also the persecution, children who are<br />

hungry <strong>and</strong> not being able to go out...<br />

If you get caught up in it, you will lose<br />

yourself in depression.”<br />

- Edith<br />

“Feelings of sadness, pain, the desire to<br />

dig a hole in the ground <strong>and</strong> hide there.”<br />

- Trina


26<br />

w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

The Triple Trauma Paradigm, below, highlights some of the traumatic events encountered in each part of<br />

the refugee journey.<br />

THE TRIPLE-TRAUMA PARADIGM<br />

Pre-Flight Flight Post-Flight<br />

Harassment/intimidation/<br />

threats<br />

Fear of unexpected arrest<br />

Loss of job/livelihood<br />

Loss of home, l<strong>and</strong>,<br />

possessions, Loss of<br />

employment, business<br />

Disruption of studies,<br />

life dreams<br />

Repeated relocation<br />

Living in hiding/underground<br />

Societal chaos/breakdown<br />

Prohibition of traditional<br />

practices<br />

Lack of medical care<br />

Separation, isolation of family<br />

Malnutrition<br />

Need <strong>for</strong> secrecy, silence,<br />

distrust<br />

Brief arrests, kidnapping,<br />

retention<br />

Being followed or monitored<br />

Imprisonment<br />

Torture<br />

Other <strong>for</strong>ms of violence<br />

Witnessing violence<br />

Disappearances/Deaths<br />

Fear of being caught or<br />

returned<br />

Extortion<br />

Threat of <strong>for</strong>ced recruitment<br />

of children<br />

Attempts against one’s life<br />

Living in hiding/underground<br />

Detention at checkpoints,<br />

borders<br />

Loss of home, l<strong>and</strong>,<br />

possessions<br />

Loss of job/schooling<br />

Illness<br />

Robbery<br />

Exploitation: bribes,<br />

falsification<br />

Physical assault, rape or injury<br />

Witnessing violence<br />

Lack of medical care<br />

Separation, isolation of family<br />

Malnutrition<br />

Crowded, unsanitary<br />

conditions<br />

Continued threat<br />

Looked upon with suspicion<br />

by society<br />

Government agencies little<br />

help<br />

Great uncertainty about<br />

the future<br />

Low social <strong>and</strong> economic<br />

status<br />

Lack of legal status<br />

Language barriers<br />

Transportation, service barriers<br />

Loss of identity, roles<br />

Bad news from home<br />

Unmet expectations<br />

Unemployment/<br />

underemployment<br />

Racial/ethnic discrimination<br />

Inadequate, dangerous<br />

housing<br />

Repeated relocation/migration<br />

Social <strong>and</strong> cultural isolation<br />

Family separation/reunification<br />

Unresolved losses/<br />

disappearances<br />

Unrealistic expectations from<br />

home<br />

Shock of new climate,<br />

geography<br />

Conflict: internal, marital,<br />

community, generational<br />

Symptoms often worsen<br />

Triple Trauma Paradigm courtesy of the Center <strong>for</strong> Victims of Torture, 649 Dayton Ave., St. Paul, MN 55104, www.cvt.org © Center <strong>for</strong> Victims of Torture


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

27<br />

IDENTITY CHANGES: LOSS AND RECONSTRUCTION<br />

The refugee journey, from “life be<strong>for</strong>e the problems began” to <strong>for</strong>ced displacement to seeking refuge <strong>and</strong><br />

finally settling abroad, is characterized by multiple identity changes, including loss of original identities <strong>and</strong><br />

creation of new identities. Undergoing these identity changes involves a stressful process of negotiation,<br />

which can add to the trauma inherent in the refugee journey.<br />

Identity be<strong>for</strong>e Displacement<br />

“In my homel<strong>and</strong> I knew what to do.” - Leo<br />

Be<strong>for</strong>e it all began, the persons who today are <strong>refugees</strong> in your congregation were “somebody.” Perhaps<br />

they were farmers, perhaps doctors or nurses or teachers, perhaps businessmen or women, perhaps<br />

human rights activists or community leaders or journalists. These were people who worked hard <strong>and</strong><br />

took pride in what they did; their lives had meaning <strong>and</strong> purpose. They were able to take care of their<br />

family. These individuals felt a sense of belonging in their community <strong>and</strong> were respected by their<br />

neighbours <strong>and</strong> friends. Most were likely economically stable. They were capable, felt at home in their<br />

community, <strong>and</strong> had dreams <strong>and</strong> plans <strong>for</strong> their future <strong>and</strong> the future of their children. Family lineage<br />

<strong>and</strong> history gave them a strong sense of roots in their community. All had a deep love <strong>for</strong> their country<br />

<strong>and</strong> most had likely never left Colombia, nor did they dream of a future anywhere else then their home<br />

community, surrounded by friends <strong>and</strong> family.<br />

“It’s hard to leave your family, a family<br />

that you’ve never left be<strong>for</strong>e. We’d<br />

never left Colombia be<strong>for</strong>e, not even<br />

<strong>for</strong> tourism. We had built our sociocultural<br />

identity, an identity that we<br />

had <strong>for</strong>med since we were born.<br />

There are many things that you “throw<br />

away” when you leave your country.<br />

It was really complicated to leave the<br />

country. The culture, the customs, the<br />

social ambience - all of these aspects -<br />

that is where you have your identity.<br />

It’s a huge change. You arrive to a place<br />

where no one knows you. You are of no<br />

importance to anyone in the society.<br />

You find yourself feeling like a feather<br />

in the air.<br />

We came from a region of Colombia where there is a real<br />

family feel...The first thing you do when you leave your<br />

house is to greet everyone. You know that the man that<br />

lives next door is named Jesus, the man across the street is<br />

Carlos. You know who the people are <strong>and</strong> you greet them.<br />

You speak the same language, everyone underst<strong>and</strong>s you.<br />

We arrived here <strong>and</strong> first of all we couldn’t communicate,<br />

second of all you discover that the majority of the people<br />

aren’t interested in communicating with their neighbour.<br />

The culture is really different. We arrived to a country<br />

that is rich in many senses - it’s rich with culture, there<br />

are people from many parts of the world. The mix of<br />

culture is beautiful, but you don’t know who is who. The<br />

sense of community is lost. The values of solidarity <strong>and</strong><br />

neighbourliness are lost, you can’t find them that easily.<br />

This makes the <strong>for</strong>mation of identity in the Canadian<br />

society difficult.”<br />

- David


28<br />

w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

Identity during Displacement:<br />

“I did everything - I was a leader, but here I am nothing.” - Teresa<br />

When families are <strong>for</strong>ced to flee from their homes, leaving behind the life they had built <strong>for</strong> themselves,<br />

they also leave behind much of their original identity. Upon arrival to Colombia’s cities, where they are<br />

expected to register in the national registry of displaced people in order to receive meagre government<br />

assistance, they are immediately <strong>and</strong> thereafter labeled as “displaced people.” No matter how hard<br />

working, honest or professional they are, once they are displaced they are looked upon with suspicion<br />

<strong>and</strong> disgust. Many are treated with contempt by disinterested government officials. Potential employers<br />

will not hire them if their identity as displaced people becomes known. Potential l<strong>and</strong>lords are reluctant<br />

to rent to displaced families. Some families spend nights on the street or in bus stations seeking shelter.<br />

They are now alone, possibly lost <strong>and</strong> confused in one of Colombia’s large cities, unemployed, <strong>and</strong><br />

unable to provide <strong>for</strong> their children.<br />

Through all of this, their identity changes dramatically. No longer the providers or the respected community<br />

members, they are now cast out, persons that are br<strong>and</strong>ed as “not from here,” “possibly dangerous” <strong>and</strong><br />

“unwanted.” The image that society projects onto displaced people slowly begins to enter their psyche.<br />

Internally displaced <strong>Colombian</strong>s share what has helped them to find new meaning<br />

in life <strong>and</strong> reconstruct their identity within the church context in Colombia:<br />

“There is refuge in the Word<br />

<strong>and</strong> prayer...we can also find<br />

peace when we help others.”<br />

- Liliana<br />

“Now I feel pride when I<br />

bring food to the people<br />

on the street, when I serve<br />

them...what others did <strong>for</strong> me<br />

be<strong>for</strong>e.”<br />

- Nestor<br />

“The church has been good<br />

<strong>for</strong> me. Being part of God’s<br />

family. Having someone to<br />

listen to me.”<br />

-Teresa<br />

“Find a way to serve, to be in<br />

action.”<br />

- Rodrigo<br />

“Opening myself up to new<br />

horizons, finding a purpose.”<br />

- Cecilia<br />

“I feel strengthened listening<br />

to others.”<br />

- Gloria<br />

“Feeling accepted.”<br />

- Enrique<br />

“Feeling like a woman that is<br />

fighting <strong>for</strong> her rights.”<br />

- Luz<br />

“Know your story. I am<br />

a leader. I believe in what<br />

I did.”<br />

- Karina<br />

“Church is peace, justice <strong>and</strong><br />

service.”<br />

- Elizabeth<br />

“In the midst of my pain it is<br />

good <strong>for</strong> me to be with you (the<br />

church). Things get out of our<br />

control, but not out of God’s<br />

control.”<br />

- Gustavo<br />

“I was really discouraged<br />

<strong>and</strong> undone, when a woman<br />

invited me to church. I found<br />

peace. I became human again.”<br />

- Diego<br />

“Getting involved in the church<br />

gives us strength to move on.”<br />

- Carolina


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

29<br />

Family <strong>and</strong> gender roles change. Often it is the women of the family that are able to find work, since the<br />

rural skills many men have are not applicable to cities, <strong>and</strong> so the women become the breadwinners<br />

of the families while the men suffer unemployment <strong>and</strong> plummeting self esteem, unable to provide <strong>for</strong><br />

their children <strong>and</strong> families.<br />

Identity as a Refugee in Canada:<br />

“It is like you are reborn, you have to start all over again.” - Mario<br />

Once refugee families reach Canada, they undergo another identity change. In Canada, they become<br />

visible ethnic minorities, they are labeled as “<strong>refugees</strong>,” “immigrants,” “newcomers” or even “<strong>for</strong>eigners.”<br />

Their accent <strong>and</strong> difficulties speaking <strong>and</strong> underst<strong>and</strong>ing the new language gives them away as such.<br />

If they were professional in their life be<strong>for</strong>e displacement, it is unlikely that they will be able to practice<br />

their profession in Canada. They will enter the work <strong>for</strong>ce as blue collar workers, <strong>and</strong> may experience<br />

demeaning treatment - or simply being ignored - in their workplace. Navigating their new city - not<br />

just streets <strong>and</strong> bus routes, but also shopping, banking, health care <strong>and</strong> education systems - can be<br />

overwhelming. Everything is <strong>for</strong>eign; the refugee is no longer in familiar territory <strong>and</strong> can feel impotent<br />

<strong>and</strong> helpless. As refugee children’s language skills quickly overtake those of their parents, the children<br />

in refugee families start to take on parenting roles - interpreting <strong>for</strong> their parents the new world around<br />

them <strong>and</strong> even making decisions that would have previously fallen to the parents to make. This new<br />

series of role-reversals <strong>and</strong> identity-shifts can be painful <strong>and</strong> confusing <strong>for</strong> refugee families <strong>and</strong> may be<br />

one of the main reasons why many refugee families struggle to stay <strong>together</strong> once they begin their new<br />

life in Canada.<br />

CHURCH AND IDENTITY<br />

“To be rooted is perhaps the most important <strong>and</strong> least recognized need of the human soul” 8 - Simone Weil<br />

“One’s roots are in Colombia, but without freedom we were becoming like a dry tree about to die, <strong>and</strong> in<br />

Canada we <strong>hope</strong> to be fertilized, recuperate <strong>and</strong> give fruit.” - José<br />

Refugees are uprooted people. In their process of establishing new roots in Canada, <strong>for</strong>ming a new,<br />

positive identity is crucially important. Identity is not <strong>for</strong>med in a vacuum but in the context of the new<br />

community. The sponsoring church community is an invaluable asset <strong>for</strong> sponsored refugee families<br />

in their process of <strong>for</strong>ming new, healthy identities in Canada. What better place <strong>for</strong> a refugee family to<br />

establish roots than in their new church community?<br />

Far from the community they left behind, <strong>refugees</strong> are at risk of feeling unneeded, out of place <strong>and</strong><br />

unimportant in their new context. By finding ways that <strong>refugees</strong> can begin to participate, serve <strong>and</strong><br />

<strong>for</strong>m friendships within the church community, the church can help <strong>refugees</strong> find new meaning <strong>and</strong><br />

a new sense of belonging. For persons who have survived years of being told they are useless <strong>and</strong><br />

8. Weil, S. (1952) The Need <strong>for</strong> Roots. London: Routledge


30<br />

w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

unimportant to society, serving in the context of the<br />

church community can be part of the healing path<br />

towards discovering that they are indeed needed,<br />

useful, important <strong>and</strong> loved. Discovering where the<br />

refugee family would feel com<strong>for</strong>table fitting in to<br />

your church community, inviting them to do so <strong>and</strong><br />

accepting them as your new friends may be some<br />

of the most healing <strong>for</strong>ms of accompaniment that<br />

the church can offer to the refugee family. Although<br />

not all refugee families will choose to become an<br />

active part of your church’s life, <strong>for</strong> many it may be<br />

very life-giving.<br />

PHASES OF ADJUSTMENT<br />

As noted in the previous two sections in this chapter,<br />

the refugee journey is characterized by three major<br />

stages: pre flight, flight <strong>and</strong> post flight. The third stage,<br />

that of “post flight,” occurs after arrival as <strong>refugees</strong> in<br />

Canada. Although it may seem as though all should<br />

be well <strong>for</strong> the refugee family now that they have<br />

arrived to safety, in fact the process of adapting to life<br />

in their new country is a challenging journey in itself.<br />

This section will focus specifically on the process that<br />

<strong>refugees</strong> go through as they adjust to life in Canada.<br />

The Center <strong>for</strong> Victims of Torture has identified four<br />

stages of refugee adjustment that occur over varying<br />

amounts of time. 9 There is no set amount of time <strong>for</strong><br />

each phase. It is normal <strong>for</strong> newcomers to Canada<br />

A refugee recalls the challenges<br />

from her first few months in<br />

Canada:<br />

“Loneliness is something very<br />

terrible here. We arrived at a<br />

time of year when everyone was<br />

on vacation <strong>and</strong> was busy with<br />

their activities. At first we felt<br />

afraid to leave our apartment,<br />

<strong>and</strong> we spent two months without<br />

venturing out on our own. When<br />

we came here we didn’t know<br />

there were so many rules - rules<br />

about childcare; you can’t leave<br />

children alone in the house. The<br />

other thing is the language. The<br />

language is necessary because<br />

without it you can’t underst<strong>and</strong><br />

anyone. I felt like... I don’t know...<br />

I didn’t underst<strong>and</strong> anyone, no one<br />

understood me. Another problem<br />

is being unoccupied, not being able<br />

to study in the summer time. The<br />

food is really different - I got sick,<br />

it was as though everything made<br />

me sick.”<br />

- Dora<br />

Note: Dora is now doing very well,<br />

thanks to the accompaniment from<br />

her sponsoring church.<br />

to take several years or more to pass through these phases. The type of support that <strong>refugees</strong> need will<br />

change over time, as they adjust to their new environment <strong>and</strong> deal with their losses.<br />

Phase One is known as the Arrival or the Honeymoon Phase. This is a busy time of adjustment after<br />

the refugee first arrives to their new community. It is characterized by relief mixed with <strong>hope</strong> <strong>and</strong> high<br />

expectations. The refugee family will feel a sense of gratefulness <strong>for</strong> their newfound safety <strong>and</strong> <strong>for</strong> the<br />

support of the church community. They will likely be excited to get to know Canadian friends <strong>and</strong> to<br />

begin studying. These positive feelings characteristic of the honeymoon stage are often juxtaposed with<br />

a mix of negative feelings. The differences in language, culture <strong>and</strong> layout of their new surroundings can<br />

9. Evelyn C. Lennon, MSW, MA (2005) New Neighbors Hidden Scars, chapter 3 <strong>Healing</strong> the Hurt, Minneapolis, MN: The Centre<br />

<strong>for</strong> Victims of Torture. www.ctv.org


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

31<br />

PHASES OF REFUGEE ADJUSTMENT<br />

Phase 1 (Arrival)<br />

SATISFACTION<br />

Phase 2 (Reality)<br />

Phase 3A (Negotiation)<br />

Phase 3B (Alienation)<br />

Phase 4A<br />

(Integration)<br />

Phase 4B<br />

(Marginalization)<br />

TIME IN COUNTRY<br />

Phases of Refugee Adjustment chart courtesy of the Center <strong>for</strong> Victims of Torture, 649 Dayton Ave., St. Paul,<br />

MN 55104, www.cvt.org © Center <strong>for</strong> Victims of Torture<br />

lead to feelings of confusion <strong>and</strong> disorientation. Feelings of numbness, anger, or even resentment can<br />

also be present in this stage.<br />

Phase Two generally occurs after three to six months <strong>and</strong> is called the Reality Phase. In this phase the<br />

refugee comes down from the “high” of the honeymoon as they realize that their desire <strong>for</strong> a quick<br />

adjustment has not been met. They become increasingly aware of the challenges that lie ahead <strong>and</strong> may<br />

begin to feel overwhelmed. Culture shock begins to set in <strong>and</strong> the reality of their losses is recognized.<br />

Conflicts may arise between generations in the family, with other refugee communities or between the<br />

family <strong>and</strong> the host community. Memories of traumatic events may occur (see Flashbacks, p 63), <strong>and</strong><br />

with them a sense of fear may return. In this stage<br />

<strong>refugees</strong> may experience difficulty concentrating<br />

in English class, detachment, short-term memory<br />

loss, fatigue or other physical symptoms such<br />

as headaches or stomachaches. The supportive,<br />

encouraging presence of the church in the lives of<br />

the <strong>refugees</strong> is crucial at this point; it can make all<br />

the difference in the path that the refugee family will<br />

take in the next stages.<br />

Phases Three <strong>and</strong> Four each have two optional<br />

paths: one gradually leading to Integration <strong>and</strong> the<br />

other leading toward Marginalization. Most <strong>refugees</strong><br />

that are sponsored by church communities are able<br />

to follow the path to integration, over time navigating<br />

their way to belonging in their new community.<br />

“I want to emphasize the importance of the role of<br />

churches in Canada. I remember one day I read<br />

on a Canadian five dollar bill ‘The winters of my<br />

childhood were long, long seasons. We lived in three<br />

places - the school, the church <strong>and</strong> the skating rink<br />

- but our real life was on the skating rink.’ It seems<br />

to me that this is a peaceful <strong>and</strong> humane country<br />

because of the presence of the church in families.<br />

Meeting with so many people at church, sharing<br />

<strong>together</strong> in different ways <strong>and</strong> singing beautifully -<br />

this brings us much life.”<br />

- Jose


32<br />

w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

Without the support of a loving <strong>and</strong> caring receiving community, <strong>refugees</strong> face more chances of failing<br />

to adjust.<br />

In Phase Three, Negotiation, the refugee begins to accept <strong>and</strong> underst<strong>and</strong> what needs to be done in<br />

order to succeed in their new life. The harsh realities that they confronted in the previous stage<br />

are balanced out with small successes: increasing ability to communicate in English, making<br />

friends, potentially holding their first job. In this stage <strong>refugees</strong> may begin to build community<br />

support systems, getting to know others in their ethnic group. <strong>Healing</strong> from trauma is an important<br />

characteristic of this stage. As life gradually begins to look up, they will feel a new sense of selfdetermination<br />

<strong>and</strong> will take action to move ahead, setting realistic goals <strong>and</strong> defining their new identity.<br />

As shown in the diagram, Phase Three can take two paths. The path of Alienation is avoidable <strong>and</strong><br />

undesirable, however the reality is that some <strong>refugees</strong> do end up on this path, especially those with no<br />

support system, the elderly or homebound women. The Alienation stage is characterized by a continued<br />

negative trend: conflicts, physical <strong>and</strong> mental health issues, despair <strong>and</strong> sadness, fear that they cannot<br />

succeed in Canada, reluctancy to leave the home, isolation, withdrawal, <strong>and</strong> poor attendance at English<br />

classes are some of the warning signs that a refugee may have entered the path of Alienation rather than<br />

Negotiation.<br />

Phase Four is Cultural Integration <strong>and</strong> is marked by a growing sense of mastery <strong>and</strong> com<strong>for</strong>t. This stage<br />

follows the stage of Negotiation, <strong>and</strong> is characterized by a shift from feeling the need <strong>for</strong> English classes<br />

to the desire to work <strong>and</strong> be self-sufficient or to pursue higher education. The refugee will be able to<br />

take care of their own basic needs, <strong>and</strong> will feel a sense of pride in their self-sufficiency. They will feel self<br />

confident, will be able to communicate competently <strong>and</strong> will have established community ties. Their new<br />

bicultural identity will be <strong>for</strong>ged <strong>and</strong> they will feel a sense of <strong>hope</strong> <strong>for</strong> a stable future <strong>and</strong> of belonging to<br />

their new community <strong>and</strong> country.<br />

The alternative to Cultural Integration, <strong>for</strong> <strong>refugees</strong> who find themselves on the path of Alienation in<br />

Phase Three, is that of Marginalization. The characteristics of this version of Phase Four are opposite to<br />

those of Cultural Integration. Marginalized <strong>refugees</strong> will often experience unemployment, involvement<br />

with legal <strong>and</strong> child welfare institutions, temporary housing <strong>and</strong> dependence on government social<br />

security programs. They may give up <strong>hope</strong> of acculturating or having a positive role in Canada. They may<br />

drop out of society, <strong>and</strong> often becoming hard to locate or contact. Refugees that reach this phase are at<br />

risk <strong>for</strong> substance or domestic abuse or involvement with gangs or crime.<br />

See appendix #1 Stages of Acculturation <strong>and</strong> Possible Service Implications <strong>for</strong> more detailed in<strong>for</strong>mation<br />

on the characteristics of each stage as experienced by the refugee.


Underst<strong>and</strong>ing <strong>and</strong> Appreciating<br />

our Differences<br />

CULTURAL COMPETENCE<br />

Cultural competence does not mean<br />

knowing everything about every culture.<br />

It is a mindset that leads to lifelong learning.<br />

It includes respect <strong>for</strong> differences, eagerness<br />

to learn, <strong>and</strong> willingness to accept that there<br />

are many ways of viewing the world.<br />

Just as <strong>refugees</strong> are expected to begin<br />

demonstrating cross-cultural competence<br />

as soon as they step on Canadian soil,<br />

churches that sponsor <strong>refugees</strong> should<br />

do everything they can to become crossculturally<br />

aware, so as to better underst<strong>and</strong><br />

<strong>and</strong> support their sponsored refugee<br />

family as they experience profound cultural<br />

adjustments.<br />

While becoming cross-culturally competent<br />

is not a <strong>for</strong>mula <strong>for</strong> avoiding all potential<br />

conflicts in a sponsorship, it can go a long<br />

way in promoting underst<strong>and</strong>ing <strong>and</strong> laying<br />

a strong foundation on which to construct<br />

the sponsorship relationship.<br />

Lack of cultural underst<strong>and</strong>ing can affect the<br />

relationship between the accompanying<br />

church <strong>and</strong> the refugee family in many<br />

ways, from communication barriers<br />

to difficulties building or maintaining trust. Lack of cross-cultural underst<strong>and</strong>ing <strong>for</strong> both the refugee<br />

family <strong>and</strong> members of the sponsoring church could mean unsatisfactory results over the course of the<br />

sponsorship, with shared goals possibly not being met, or even understood.


34<br />

w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

Ideas <strong>for</strong> building Cross-Cultural Competence: Thankfully, becoming cross-culturally competent<br />

is neither difficult nor tedious. It can be an enjoyable process of discovery <strong>and</strong> learning, both <strong>for</strong> the<br />

incoming refugee family <strong>and</strong> <strong>for</strong> the sponsoring church community. Don’t be afraid to acknowledge<br />

differences <strong>and</strong> talk about them with the refugee family - this is important <strong>and</strong> can be a great way to<br />

learn more about one another’s cultures.<br />

Be<strong>for</strong>e <strong>and</strong> after your church’s refugee family arrives, learn as much as you can about Colombia <strong>and</strong><br />

<strong>Colombian</strong> culture. Learn about the language, food, music <strong>and</strong> climate in the region of the country<br />

that the refugee came from. Colombia is blessed with great regional diversity, which as a result fosters<br />

in <strong>Colombian</strong>s a deep sense of regional identity <strong>and</strong> pride. Also learn about traditions, family values,<br />

favourite activities <strong>and</strong> ways of celebrating special cultural holidays.<br />

Once the family arrives they will appreciate the fact that you have taken the time to learn about their<br />

country <strong>and</strong> culture. Throughout the journey of accompanying the refugee family as they learn about<br />

Canadian culture <strong>and</strong> customs, don’t miss the opportunity to learn more about <strong>Colombian</strong> culture <strong>and</strong><br />

customs. The family will likely be more than pleased to teach you, <strong>and</strong> your interest in their culture is<br />

dignifying to the refugee family. To the extent that you as a church sponsorship group show your value <strong>for</strong><br />

<strong>Colombian</strong> culture, you will be able to help the refugee family find a healthy balance between honouring<br />

<strong>and</strong> maintaining a healthy identity as <strong>Colombian</strong>s, while building a new positive identity as Canadians.<br />

INTERCULTURAL COMMUNICATION<br />

For effective intercultural communication to take place, it is helpful to underst<strong>and</strong> some of the cultural<br />

dynamics that come into play. This section is a very brief introduction to the topic; the resources<br />

mentioned at the end of this section are well worth reading <strong>and</strong> contain many helpful insights <strong>and</strong> tools<br />

<strong>for</strong> improving your intercultural communication skills.<br />

High Context vs Low Context: One way to categorize cultures is that of high context or low context. 10<br />

Each context is characterized by very different communication styles. 11 Although entire cultures can be<br />

generalized into one of these two categories, in fact, we all use both types of communication to some<br />

degree.<br />

In high context cultures, meaning is conveyed through the context or through nonverbal cues <strong>and</strong><br />

communication tends to be indirect. This means that requests <strong>and</strong> intentions are more likely to be<br />

10. The terms “high context” <strong>and</strong> “low context” were coined by anthropologist Edward T. Hall in his book Beyond Culture. The<br />

terms are not meant to be interpreted as “superior” nor “inferior,” rather they simply distinguish the importance of context in<br />

communication.<br />

11. Sources <strong>for</strong> this section are:<br />

a. Ting-Toomey, S. <strong>and</strong> Chung, L. (2005) Underst<strong>and</strong>ing Intercultural Communication. Los Angeles, CA: Roxbury Publications.<br />

b. Articles: Michelle LeBaron. (2003) Communication Tools <strong>for</strong> Underst<strong>and</strong> Cultural Differences <strong>and</strong> Cross-Cultural<br />

Communication. Beyond Intractability. (www.beyondintractability.org)


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

35<br />

implied rather than stated directly, <strong>and</strong> tone of voice, gestures or expression carry important clues <strong>for</strong><br />

interpreting the message. Latin American culture is a high context culture, there<strong>for</strong>e it is likely that the<br />

<strong>Colombian</strong> refugee family will employ communication strategies such as non verbal communication <strong>and</strong><br />

indirectness.<br />

In low context cultures, such as Canadian culture, meaning is conveyed through direct verbal communication.<br />

Clarity, “straight talk” <strong>and</strong> a <strong>for</strong>thright tone of voice are characteristics of low context communication. What<br />

is said is meant to be taken at face value, <strong>and</strong> direct questions or answers are appreciated.<br />

As mentioned above, we all use both types of communication at one point or another. Although Canadians<br />

are typically known to be direct, there are times when we speak indirectly, implying what we mean to say<br />

through our tone or a look rather than our words. Nonetheless, because of Canadians’ general tendency<br />

to be low context communicators <strong>and</strong> <strong>Colombian</strong>s’ general tendency to be high context communicators,<br />

it is important to underst<strong>and</strong> these different communication styles.<br />

Michelle LeBaron, in her article Communication Tools <strong>for</strong> Underst<strong>and</strong>ing Cultural Differences, outlines a<br />

series of suggestions <strong>for</strong> people from both high context <strong>and</strong> low context cultures to keep in mind when<br />

they communicate with people from the opposite context:<br />

“Low-context communicators interacting with high-context communicators should be mindful that<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

acknowledgement;<br />

<br />

communicate fully <strong>and</strong> frankly;<br />

<br />

<br />

blocks are encountered.<br />

High-context communicators interacting with low-context communicators should be mindful that<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

advance shared goals; <strong>and</strong><br />

<br />

The series of imaginary dialogues demonstrating indirect <strong>and</strong> direct communication that follow are<br />

intended to illustrate what to be attentive to when communicating with the <strong>Colombian</strong> refugee family.


36<br />

w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

Dialogue A. 12<br />

NORTHERN EUROPEAN CANADIAN 1: We are going to the Caribana<br />

Festival in Toronto this weekend.<br />

N.EUROPEAN CANADIAN 2: That sounds like fun! I wish I were<br />

going with you.<br />

How long are you going to be there? [ If she wants a ride, she will ask]<br />

N.EUROPEAN CANADIAN 1: Three days. By the way, we may need a<br />

ride to the bus station. Do you think you can take us?<br />

N.EUROPEAN CANADIAN 2: Sure. What time?<br />

N.EUROPEAN CANADIAN 1: 9:30 pm this coming Friday.<br />

N.EUROPEAN CANADIAN 2: OK. No problem.<br />

Dialogue B.<br />

COLOMBIAN 1: We are going to the Caribana Festival in Toronto this<br />

weekend.<br />

COLOMBIAN 2: That sounds like fun! I wish I were going with you.<br />

How long are you going to be there?<br />

COLOMBIAN 1: Three days. [ I <strong>hope</strong> she’ll offer me a ride<br />

to the bus station.]<br />

COLOMBIAN 2: [She may want me to giver her a ride.]<br />

Do you need a ride to the bus station?<br />

I’ll take you.<br />

COLOMBIAN 1: Are you sure it’s not too much trouble?<br />

COLOMBIAN 2: It’s no trouble at all.<br />

Dialogue C.<br />

COLOMBIAN: We are going to the Caribana Festival in Toronto<br />

this weekend.<br />

N.EUROPEAN CANADIAN: That sounds like fun! I wish I were going<br />

with you.How long are you going to be there?<br />

COLOMBIAN: Three days. [ I <strong>hope</strong> she’ll offer me a ride<br />

to the bus station.]<br />

N.EUROPEAN CANADIAN: [ If she wants a ride she’ll ask me.]<br />

Well, have a great time.<br />

COLOMBIAN: [ If she had wanted to give me a ride,<br />

she would have offered it. I’d better ask somebody else.] Thanks.<br />

I’ll see you when I get back.<br />

12. Dialogues <strong>and</strong> descriptions of individualist vs collectivist cultures are adapted from Underst<strong>and</strong>ing Intercultural Communication,<br />

by Ting-Toomey, S. <strong>and</strong> Chung, L. (2005) Los Angeles, CA: Roxbury Publishing.


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

37<br />

In the first two dialogues, the individuals were both using the same communication style <strong>and</strong> understood<br />

one another perfectly. The third dialogue, however, is a classic example of how misunderst<strong>and</strong>ings can<br />

take place between people from different cultural contexts. The Northern European Canadian, operating<br />

from a direct communication style, never imagined that the <strong>Colombian</strong> was implicitly asking <strong>for</strong> a ride,<br />

while the <strong>Colombian</strong>, operating from an indirect style, thought that the Northern European Canadian<br />

understood her desire to be offered a ride, <strong>and</strong> actually didn’t want to offer her a ride. Although adapting<br />

our perception skills to hear the subtle <strong>and</strong> implicit messages can be challenging, it is not impossible.<br />

Just as the <strong>Colombian</strong> refugee family will have to adapt to the more direct communication style of<br />

most Canadians, it may be very helpful <strong>for</strong> you to intentionally attune yourself to listening <strong>for</strong> indirect or<br />

nonverbal messages when communicating with the <strong>Colombian</strong> family.<br />

Individualist vs Collectivist Cultures: Another way to categorize cultures is that of individualist or<br />

collectivist. 13 One’s identity as an individualist or collectivist will influence both their communication style<br />

<strong>and</strong> their conflict style.<br />

In an individualist society, individual identity is emphasized over group identity, individual rights over<br />

group rights <strong>and</strong> individual needs over group needs. Individualism promotes self efficiency, individual<br />

responsibility <strong>and</strong> personal autonomy. Values include freedom, honesty, social recognition, com<strong>for</strong>t <strong>and</strong><br />

personal equity. Individuals are rewarded <strong>for</strong> initiative, leadership <strong>and</strong> personal achievement <strong>and</strong> a direct<br />

communication style is the norm.<br />

In a collectivist or communitarian society, group identity is emphasized over individual identity <strong>and</strong> group<br />

rights <strong>and</strong> needs over individual rights or needs. Collectivism promotes relational interdependence,<br />

harmony within the group <strong>and</strong> a collaborative spirit. Values include face-saving, respecting parent’s<br />

wishes <strong>and</strong> fulfillment of other’s needs. Duty, honour <strong>and</strong> deference to authority are desirable, <strong>and</strong><br />

indirect communication is typical.<br />

As you may have deduced from reading the above descriptions, Canadian culture has strong individualist<br />

tendencies while <strong>Colombian</strong> culture is much more collectivist. Underst<strong>and</strong>ing how these identities<br />

influence the way in which both we <strong>and</strong> others act, communicate, manage conflicts <strong>and</strong> make decisions<br />

can help increase our mutual underst<strong>and</strong>ing <strong>and</strong> appreciation <strong>for</strong> one another.<br />

CONFLICT STYLES<br />

Just as Canadians <strong>and</strong> <strong>Colombian</strong>s have different general communication styles, they also tend to<br />

have different styles of managing conflict. 14 Although each individual has their personal conflict style,<br />

underst<strong>and</strong>ing different generalized cultural conflict styles can be helpful when working through conflicts.<br />

13. Dialogues <strong>and</strong> descriptions of individualist vs collectivist cultures are adapted from Underst<strong>and</strong>ing Intercultural Communication,<br />

by Ting-Toomey, S. <strong>and</strong> Chung, L. (2005) Los Angeles, CA: Roxbury Publishing.<br />

14. The description of Latin American conflict styles is adapted from Underst<strong>and</strong>ing Intercultural Communication, by Ting-Toomey, S. <strong>and</strong><br />

Chung, L, with input from Luis Correa, Fanny Gomez, <strong>and</strong> Cellia Vasquez, members of Teusaquillo Mennonite Church in Bogotá.


38<br />

w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

When dealing with conflict with, Latin Americans typically try to be tactful <strong>and</strong> to consider each other’s<br />

feelings, using well mannered <strong>and</strong> diplomatic behaviour. This is especially true if the conflict is with<br />

someone whose relationship is valued or when the conflict is with someone of a higher status. In these<br />

cases, Latin Americans will typically try not to cause embarrassment to the person with which they are in<br />

conflict. They may do this by accommodating the other person’s desires (“smoothing things over”) or by<br />

trying to avoid talking about the conflict all <strong>together</strong>, <strong>for</strong> as long as possible.<br />

Smaller conflicts are sometimes dealt with by involving a trusted third person who might be able to<br />

underst<strong>and</strong> the other person’s point of view or serve as a mediator or go-between. Although going to<br />

a third person rather than addressing the problem directly with the individual involved in the conflict<br />

may feel uncom<strong>for</strong>table <strong>for</strong> Canadians, it may actually feel very natural <strong>for</strong> <strong>Colombian</strong>s <strong>and</strong> shouldn’t<br />

immediately be interpreted as a lack of trust nor “going behind one’s back.” This conflict resolution style<br />

makes sense given that <strong>Colombian</strong>s come from a high context <strong>and</strong> collectivist culture. By going to a third<br />

person a <strong>Colombian</strong> may be doing their best to protect <strong>and</strong> promote harmony in the relationship with<br />

the party involved in the conflict, since they are attempting to avoid an uncom<strong>for</strong>table confrontation that<br />

could potentially damage the relationship.<br />

There are numerous examples of mediation as a <strong>for</strong>m of conflict resolution throughout Colombia. One<br />

such example are the “Palabreros,” traditional community mediators of the Wayuu people from north<br />

eastern Colombia. Palabreros are highly respected in their communities <strong>for</strong> their role in resolving all kinds<br />

of conflicts, from accidents to disputes over l<strong>and</strong>. This model of third party conflict resolution is common<br />

throughout Colombia, although in many cases it does not involve an official mediator but rather a mutual<br />

friend or trusted <strong>and</strong> respected third party such as a pastor or church leader.<br />

Since the typical Canadian approach to conflict, which generally involves directness <strong>and</strong> a confrontational<br />

style, is not common <strong>for</strong> Latin Americans, <strong>Colombian</strong>s may feel overwhelmed, taken aback or even<br />

attacked when faced with a very direct approach to conflict resolution.<br />

The previous descriptions of <strong>Colombian</strong> conflict styles could be considered ideal examples, perhaps<br />

more often seen within a church environment or particular indigenous communities than in the society<br />

as a whole. For every example of harmonious conflict resolution or mediation there are many examples<br />

of just the opposite, even when the conflict is relatively small. The culture of “<strong>for</strong>giveness” is not common<br />

in Colombia. Family members may spend years not speaking to one another because of differences.<br />

In the work setting, the fear of losing one’s job keeps many employees from addressing conflicts or<br />

injustices.<br />

The resolution of larger problems may be taken to court, however, given high rates of impunity, “taking<br />

justice into one’s own h<strong>and</strong>s” is fairly common in Colombia. Scenarios of retaliatory actions, even going<br />

as far as killings, are not unheard of, especially where there are connections to armed groups or crime.


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

39<br />

Resources <strong>for</strong> developing Cross-Cultural Competency <strong>and</strong> Intercultural Communication skills:<br />

Foreign to Familiar: A Guide to Underst<strong>and</strong>ing Hot - <strong>and</strong> Cold - Climate Cultures, author Sarah A. Lanier, is an easy but<br />

enlightening read about cultural differences. While not specifically about Colombia, it applies well. Availably through YWAM or your local<br />

bookstore. (ISBN: 158158072X)<br />

Learning from the Stranger: Christian Faith <strong>and</strong> Cultural Diversity, author David I. Smith. According to the review on the<br />

Mennonite Church Canada website “Learning from the Stranger clearly explains what “culture” is, discusses how cultural difference<br />

affects our perceptions <strong>and</strong> behavior, <strong>and</strong> explores how Jesus’ call to love our neighbor involves learning from cultural strangers. Built<br />

around three chapter-length readings of extended biblical passages (from Genesis, Luke, <strong>and</strong> Acts), the book skillfully weaves <strong>together</strong><br />

theological <strong>and</strong> practical concerns, <strong>and</strong> Smith’s engaging, readable text is peppered with stories from his own extensive firsth<strong>and</strong><br />

experience.” Available through the Mennonite Church Canada resource centre. (ISBN: 9780802824639)<br />

http://www.mennonitechurch.ca/resourcecentre/ResourceView/2/12165<br />

The Canadian Centre <strong>for</strong> Intercultural Learning website has an excellent resource called “Country Insights”, whose Colombia<br />

page offers detailed answers to intercultural questions from both a <strong>Colombian</strong> <strong>and</strong> Canadian point of view. Although geared to the<br />

work place, the insights are useful <strong>for</strong> other contexts. There are also links to other websites <strong>for</strong> additional in<strong>for</strong>mation on history,<br />

politics <strong>and</strong> culture: http://www.intercultures.ca<br />

Beyond Intractability, a website devoted to “constructive approaches to destructive conflict”, offers a variety of articles on cross<br />

cultural communication tools. For example:<br />

Communication Tools <strong>for</strong> Underst<strong>and</strong>ing Cultural Differences:<br />

http://www.beyondintractability.org/essay/communication_tools/<br />

Cross-Cultural Communication:<br />

http://www.beyondintractability.org/essay/cross-cultural_communication/<br />

CULTURAL TIPS<br />

Colombia is a multi-cultural country. Its cultural diversity includes but is not limited to the Afro-<strong>Colombian</strong><br />

culture on the Pacific coast, the Caribbean culture on the Atlantic coast, a wide variety of Indigenous<br />

cultures throughout the country <strong>and</strong> the Andean culture in the mountain ranges running through the<br />

centre of the country. Added to the mix are people of Spanish, Western European, Lebanese <strong>and</strong> Jewish<br />

descent. The country is heavily regionalized, with each region having its own culture, industries, traditions,<br />

music, food, accent <strong>and</strong> even vocabulary. Unsurprisingly, most <strong>Colombian</strong>s feel a profound sense of<br />

regional identity. A notable result of this sense of regional identity is the presence of regional stereotypes,<br />

both positive <strong>and</strong> negative, held by most <strong>Colombian</strong>s toward their compatriots from other regions.<br />

The following is a list of general tendencies found across the range of <strong>Colombian</strong> cultures. These insights<br />

are given in the spirit of increasing awareness rather than encouraging adoption of <strong>Colombian</strong> customs.<br />

The refugee family will have to adapt to Canadian customs, however underst<strong>and</strong>ing some basic <strong>Colombian</strong><br />

customs may help interpret some of the things that your sponsored refugee family does or says at first,<br />

or may explain why the family acts surprised or even offended at some of the things you do.


40<br />

w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

Importance of Relationships<br />

Constructing <strong>and</strong> maintaining good relationships is of paramount importance in <strong>Colombian</strong> culture. The<br />

following collection of cultural tendencies highlights the importance of relationships <strong>for</strong> <strong>Colombian</strong>s:<br />

Greetings: In small gatherings between family <strong>and</strong> friends, it is considered polite to greet everyone<br />

personally upon arrival. Likewise, goodbyes are often said to everyone. Failing to greet or say goodbye, at<br />

the very least in a general sense, could be considered rude. In the context of a larger groups of people<br />

this would not be expected.<br />

When arriving late to a meeting <strong>Colombian</strong>s will often interrupt <strong>and</strong> greet the group. It is considered more<br />

polite to give a verbal greeting than to simply take a seat silently, especially if it is a meeting between<br />

colleagues or in a familiar setting such as church. In <strong>for</strong>mal meeting environments, such as conferences,<br />

this would be much less likely to happen.<br />

Between women <strong>and</strong> women, or women <strong>and</strong> men, it is common to greet with a hug or a “cheek - to -<br />

cheek” kiss. <strong>Colombian</strong> women sometimes substitute grasping one another’s <strong>for</strong>earms <strong>for</strong> a h<strong>and</strong>shake.<br />

Men always greet other men with a h<strong>and</strong>shake, perhaps accompanied with a pat on the back, or a hug<br />

if they are good friends.<br />

<strong>Colombian</strong>s will greet each other each time they meet, even if it is several times in a day. If you find<br />

yourself passing by someone you have recently greeted, you can just say “how’s it going?” or even simply<br />

“goodbye.” Acknowledging the presence of the other with a simple greeting is extremely important.<br />

Failing to do so is quite rude.<br />

Small talk is an important part of <strong>Colombian</strong> greetings, <strong>and</strong> must be engaged in be<strong>for</strong>e the conversation<br />

reaches a deeper level. Three common themes reoccur in <strong>Colombian</strong> small talk: 1) “How are you?”


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

41<br />

questions. <strong>Colombian</strong>s have many different ways to ask this question, <strong>and</strong> often use them one after<br />

another. 2) Questions about how family members are doing. 3) Comments about physical appearance,<br />

which sometimes include allusions to one’s weight, generally intended as a complement on one’s<br />

healthy look.<br />

Communication style: As previously mentioned, <strong>Colombian</strong>s are much more indirect than Canadians,<br />

<strong>and</strong> a very direct communication style is often considered offensive. This indirect communication style<br />

is intended to protect relationships. For Canadians that are used to a direct communication style, the<br />

value of indirect communication <strong>for</strong> protecting relationships can be hard to grasp at first. For instance, <strong>for</strong><br />

<strong>Colombian</strong>s, “I’ll see if I can do it” or “I’ll try” will almost always mean “no.” While Canadians may interpret<br />

this answer as insincere or dishonest, <strong>for</strong> <strong>Colombian</strong>s it is just the opposite. Answering “I’ll try” is simply<br />

a way to soften the harsh “no” imbedded within their answer, which in itself would be offensive. Other<br />

<strong>Colombian</strong>s will underst<strong>and</strong> exactly what is meant, <strong>and</strong> not be offended. However, when one responds<br />

“I’ll try” to the request of a person who is truly in need, the “I’ll try” will likely be understood as genuine.<br />

These dynamics can be confusing - reading body language <strong>and</strong> context is important. Another example<br />

is that <strong>Colombian</strong>s may talk about making plans with friends or acquaintances with no immediate<br />

or specific intention of actually doing so. It is more important to be polite <strong>and</strong> show interest in the<br />

relationship by sounding like you really would like to get <strong>together</strong> rather than to say “I can’t” or “I don’t<br />

think it will work out.” Likewise, it is more acceptable to cancel out on plans at the last minute in Colombia<br />

than in Canada. For a <strong>Colombian</strong>, “I’ll call you later” is often just a platitude while <strong>for</strong> a Canadian it is a<br />

promise.<br />

Although indirect, <strong>Colombian</strong>s can become very animated while talking. Don’t confuse this animation<br />

with aggression, it isn’t the same thing.<br />

Confrontation is avoided at all costs. If a friend has made a mistake <strong>Colombian</strong>s will not expose it publicly,<br />

as that would cause public embarrassment <strong>and</strong> a ruined relationship.<br />

Personal space: <strong>Colombian</strong>s are com<strong>for</strong>table with much less personal space than Canadians. While it is<br />

common <strong>for</strong> <strong>Colombian</strong>s to st<strong>and</strong> or sit as little as one foot apart while conversing, most Canadians will<br />

find this uncom<strong>for</strong>tably close. It would be unusual <strong>for</strong> <strong>Colombian</strong>s to choose to sit across the room from<br />

one another <strong>for</strong> the purposes of a good visit. In the context of Canadian personal space <strong>Colombian</strong>s may<br />

feel uncom<strong>for</strong>tably far away from one another.<br />

In conversations is is common <strong>for</strong> physical contact to take place. To reach out <strong>and</strong> touch the arm or<br />

shoulder or even h<strong>and</strong> of the person you are talking with is common, especially between women.<br />

The concept of “what is yours is also mine” is commonly held in Colombia between friends <strong>and</strong> family<br />

members, <strong>and</strong> borrowing of clothes or other items may take place without asking <strong>for</strong> prior permission.<br />

As an example, <strong>Colombian</strong>s tend to be more com<strong>for</strong>table than Canadians when it comes to drinking out<br />

of the same bottle or even eating utensils.


42<br />

w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

Because of some of these differences, Canadian culture may at first seem “cold” to <strong>Colombian</strong>s.<br />

Parent - children relationship: Family relationships are very important, <strong>and</strong> <strong>Colombian</strong> families tend<br />

to be extremely close. <strong>Colombian</strong>s value their children very highly. Undoubtedly, parenting styles <strong>and</strong><br />

disciplinary methods may be different from what Canadians are used to, however <strong>Colombian</strong> parenting<br />

styles vary so greatly that it is impossible to generalize a “<strong>Colombian</strong> parenting style.”<br />

Independence, Dependence <strong>and</strong> Interdependence: <strong>Colombian</strong> families tend to be more<br />

interdependent than Canadian families. While Canadian culture places value on children gaining<br />

independence, leaving home <strong>and</strong> becoming financially stable individuals that make their own decisions<br />

as soon as possible, <strong>Colombian</strong> families tend to support one another throughout life in a variety of ways.<br />

For example, It is common <strong>for</strong> <strong>Colombian</strong> children to remain living at home until they are financially<br />

stable, which often means well into adult-hood. As a result, sometimes sons <strong>and</strong> daughters continue<br />

to live at home even after getting married. This arrangement makes living more af<strong>for</strong>dable <strong>for</strong> everyone<br />

<strong>and</strong> provides a way to endure economically difficult situations. If extended family live <strong>together</strong> they can<br />

share household goods, food <strong>and</strong> sometimes even clothing. As parents age, adult children are expected<br />

to care <strong>for</strong> them in the same way that they were cared <strong>for</strong> by their parents when they were young. In<br />

Colombia it is very uncommon <strong>for</strong> elderly parents to be placed in retirement homes. At first glance<br />

Canadians might interpret some of these practices as unhealthy <strong>for</strong>ms of dependency. However, <strong>for</strong><br />

<strong>Colombian</strong>s, healthy family relationships are built on the concepts of interdependency <strong>and</strong> solidarity<br />

rather than independence.<br />

Hierarchy: Colombia is a hierarchical society. Respect must be shown to elders <strong>and</strong> to people in<br />

positions of authority or with higher education: pastors, teachers, lawyers, engineers, doctors. People<br />

often show respect by addressing others with their title, <strong>for</strong> example: “Hello Pastor!” or “Hello Engineer.”<br />

“Doctor” is a commonly used <strong>for</strong> anyone that one considers to have much more power or status than<br />

oneself. Having good relationships with people in hierarchy is often perceived as being the only way<br />

to open new opportunities <strong>for</strong> oneself. Relationships with people in power, such as the town mayor, a<br />

congressman, judge or a lawyer, can be used to increase one’s status <strong>and</strong> privileges in the community<br />

<strong>and</strong> can also be used to manipulate others.<br />

Concept of time: It is considered acceptable - <strong>and</strong> not rude - to arrive half an hour (or more) late to an<br />

invitation to someone’s house <strong>for</strong> a social engagement. Often the reason <strong>for</strong> tardiness is that one bumped<br />

into a friend or acquaintance <strong>and</strong>, given the importance of relationships, time had to be invested in a<br />

conversation even though there may have been another deadline to meet. Spending up to half an hour<br />

chatting in the street with a friend you ran into is not uncommon. Maintaining the relationship matters<br />

more than time, <strong>and</strong> eventually everything gets done. Also, since arriving late to social engagements tends<br />

to be the norm, if you arrive punctually, the host might not be ready to receive you. Because punctuality<br />

is not considered important, people become accustomed to not getting ready on time.<br />

In cities, “traffic jams” are a convenient, well-used <strong>and</strong> often real excuse <strong>for</strong> arriving late. Many <strong>Colombian</strong>s<br />

are accustomed to using public transport <strong>and</strong> experiencing delays, detours <strong>and</strong> changes of plans that are


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

43<br />

outside their control. Given this context, one does not judge another <strong>for</strong> being late to a meeting or event.<br />

Things simply “come up” constantly in a way that most Canadians experience less often.<br />

Timeliness is valued in work or school settings, although more flexibility is given in those settings than<br />

would be given in Canada. Meetings often stretch on much longer than planned, as a result of indirect<br />

communication styles <strong>and</strong> the value that is placed on each person’s need to share <strong>and</strong> relate. Time<br />

doesn’t often seem to be a concern even when people go off topic.<br />

Who pays: The word “invitar” (invite), when used by <strong>Colombian</strong>s, infers that the person doing the<br />

inviting will pay all the costs <strong>for</strong> the invited person. The concept of sharing the cost is <strong>for</strong>eign <strong>and</strong> often<br />

uncom<strong>for</strong>table at first to <strong>Colombian</strong>s. When there is a level of trust, <strong>Colombian</strong>s will half jokingly -half<br />

seriously inquire if an invitation is a true “invitation,” so as to know whether they will be expected to pay<br />

their share or not. Between close friends, one may specify that they will pay “in the American way,” which<br />

means that each person will pay <strong>for</strong> themselves. Although talking about money can be uncom<strong>for</strong>table<br />

<strong>for</strong> Canadians, it is important to be clear with <strong>Colombian</strong> friends ahead of time how costs will be covered<br />

on group outings. This will prevent misunderst<strong>and</strong>ings <strong>and</strong> insure that they make an in<strong>for</strong>med decision<br />

regarding accepting the invitation.<br />

Showing affection: In Colombia, romantic affection<br />

is offered more publicly <strong>and</strong> freely than in Canada, <strong>and</strong><br />

isn’t considered inappropriate. Women friends often<br />

walk arm in arm <strong>and</strong> older children will hold h<strong>and</strong>s<br />

with their parents, especially mothers, in public.<br />

Length of visits & boundaries: Social time shared<br />

<strong>together</strong> in one another’s homes is precious to<br />

<strong>Colombian</strong>s. Spontaneous visits are much more<br />

common than <strong>for</strong>mal or specific invitations, however. In<br />

Colombia, when one comes to visit, there is no <strong>for</strong>eseen<br />

time when the visit will end, <strong>and</strong> spontaneous visits that<br />

last <strong>for</strong> several hours or more <strong>and</strong> even include a meal<br />

are not uncommon. While Canadians might expect an<br />

invited guest to go home at a certain hour or have an<br />

ending time imagined <strong>for</strong> a party or get <strong>together</strong>, this<br />

could seem unfamiliar <strong>and</strong> rude to a <strong>Colombian</strong> guest.<br />

<strong>Colombian</strong>s, to the contrary, might assume one stays<br />

well into the night, especially if friends are having fun<br />

with one another <strong>and</strong> the relationships are ones of<br />

mutual affection <strong>and</strong> trust.<br />

In Colombia it is quite common <strong>for</strong> a person to extend<br />

an invitation to a friend - <strong>and</strong> have three or four people


44<br />

w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

arrive unexpectedly. This sort of “tagging along” is normal <strong>and</strong> accepted in Colombia, <strong>and</strong> checking ahead<br />

with the host is not considered necessary - friends know that their friends will be welcome.<br />

Hosting <strong>and</strong> Invitations: While <strong>Colombian</strong>s enjoy spending time <strong>together</strong> in one another’s homes,<br />

<strong>for</strong>mal dinner invitations are not common. These invitations will be very important <strong>for</strong> the refugee family<br />

to receive upon arriving to your community, however don’t be surprised if the family doesn’t reciprocate<br />

with specific invitations to their home. Since dropping by unannounced <strong>for</strong> visits is much more common<br />

in <strong>Colombian</strong> culture, it is likely that the family may wait <strong>for</strong> members of the church community to<br />

simply drop in rather than extending <strong>for</strong>mal invitations to new friends from church. Don’t take their lack<br />

of invitations as a sign that the family doesn’t want to get to know you - they will be eager to, <strong>and</strong> would<br />

likely be very happy with frequent drop in visits. It is appropriate to bring a small gift such as cookies or<br />

cake or flowers when visiting the home of a friend.<br />

Importance of short phone calls: Most <strong>Colombian</strong>s own a cell phone <strong>and</strong> use it liberally. Those who<br />

don’t own a phone or don’t have “minutes” on it just buy cell phone minutes on the street from a vendor<br />

<strong>for</strong> very little cost. <strong>Colombian</strong>s place a strong emphasis on touching base by phone with one another<br />

on a birthday, a holiday, any special day like Mother’s or Father’s Day or a day marking an important life<br />

achievement such as graduation. Phone calls are also appropriate <strong>and</strong> appreciated any time a person<br />

is known to be sick, hospitalized or having a hard time. Brief telephone calls show that one cares <strong>and</strong> is<br />

attentive to their family <strong>and</strong> dear friends. The length or content of the call is not nearly as important as<br />

that it occurred. To <strong>for</strong>get or omit a phone call of this sort is a personal affront; in the event a call was<br />

<strong>for</strong>gotten, an apology should be offered the next time you speak to the person. Whereas a Canadian<br />

might not want to disturb a bereaved friend with a phone call nor bother someone in what could be the<br />

middle of their special birthday meal, a <strong>Colombian</strong> would welcome such phone calls, count them with<br />

pride <strong>and</strong> be touched that they were remembered in that way.<br />

<strong>Colombian</strong>s will not be expecting birthday gifts from friends in the way a Canadian might, but they will<br />

expect <strong>and</strong> truly appreciate these birthday phone calls.<br />

Visiting patients in the hospital: <strong>Colombian</strong>s want to be connected to one another at times of crisis<br />

or significant events rather than needing personal or private space. Because of this, visiting hospitalized<br />

family or friends is very important <strong>for</strong> <strong>Colombian</strong>s. In Colombia, visiting hours <strong>and</strong> limits on visitors in<br />

hospital rooms seem to be less strict than in Canada, <strong>and</strong> the presence of what could seem like an<br />

overwhelming stream of visitors is generally welcomed <strong>and</strong> appreciated by the hospitalized <strong>Colombian</strong>.<br />

Canadians may avoid visiting a hospitalized friend out of concern <strong>for</strong> overloading the friend with energydraining<br />

visits, <strong>and</strong> if they do visit, they likely keep their visits short. For a hospitalized <strong>Colombian</strong>, being<br />

surrounded by visitors affirms that they have many friends who care deeply about them <strong>and</strong> shows them<br />

that they are not alone. It is expected that a visitor will bring a small gift such as fruit, flowers or yogurt<br />

when visiting a hospitalized friend. Phone calls from friends or family who can not make it to the hospital<br />

are expected <strong>and</strong> welcomed by the patient.


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

45<br />

Accompaniment: A term not commonly used in the Canadian vocabulary, perhaps due to the high<br />

value Canadians place on independence, the concept of accompaniment is extremely important to<br />

<strong>Colombian</strong>s. The idea of accompanying one another - be it on small err<strong>and</strong>s or to the bus stop, being<br />

present with a friend going through difficult times or taking part in important celebrations - is greatly<br />

valued. This is why short visits, phone calls just to say hi <strong>and</strong> let your friend know you are thinking of<br />

them, <strong>and</strong> checking in on friends that are ill or in the hospital are so important. Accompanying one<br />

another is a way of showing the value you place on the relationship <strong>and</strong> on the person.<br />

Appearance<br />

A clean <strong>and</strong> tidy appearance is valued at all levels of <strong>Colombian</strong> society. The next two points take a closer<br />

look at the importance of appearance:<br />

Personal Appearance: Looking good is m<strong>and</strong>atory in <strong>Colombian</strong> culture. It is a sign of good etiquette<br />

<strong>and</strong> respect <strong>for</strong> self <strong>and</strong> <strong>for</strong> those around you. Dressing very casually or “sloppily” in public falls outside<br />

of cultural norms. One must dress well in order to be taken seriously by others, especially when dealing<br />

with financial or state entities.<br />

Shopping in thrift shops may at first seem like a strange idea <strong>for</strong> <strong>Colombian</strong> <strong>refugees</strong> - they may fear that<br />

they won’t look good in second h<strong>and</strong> clothes, since second h<strong>and</strong> shops in Colombia tend to carry poor<br />

quality <strong>and</strong> often worn out clothes. As well, most <strong>Colombian</strong> <strong>refugees</strong> have experienced discrimination<br />

<strong>and</strong> the loss of financial security, if not abject poverty, prior to arriving in Canada. Looking one’s best is a<br />

protection against looking poor or looking “displaced” <strong>and</strong> being socially marginalized as a result.<br />

Clothing is widely manufactured in Colombia, <strong>and</strong> although there is a wide range in prices, it is possible<br />

to find clothing at very economic prices. Even <strong>for</strong> Colombia’s poor, purchasing new clothing is much<br />

more common than purchasing second h<strong>and</strong> clothing, due to the availability of inexpensive clothing.<br />

It is a common cultural practice <strong>for</strong> new clothes to be worn on important days such as Christmas <strong>and</strong><br />

New Years.


46<br />

w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

Appearance of the home: A tidy house is the pride of a <strong>Colombian</strong> woman. It is very embarrassing<br />

<strong>for</strong> a <strong>Colombian</strong> woman to have anyone see her house in a mess, as her home represents who she is<br />

as a person.<br />

Miscellaneous Cultural Tips<br />

Oral Cultural: Colombia culture has a strong oral tradition. A characteristic of oral cultures is the value<br />

placed on story telling, <strong>and</strong> this is evident in <strong>Colombian</strong> culture through the prevalence of story <strong>and</strong> song.<br />

For families or groups of friends to get <strong>together</strong> <strong>and</strong> spend an hours telling stories or singing <strong>together</strong> is<br />

common. Many <strong>Colombian</strong>s - especially those from the coastal regions - are com<strong>for</strong>table singing aloud<br />

<strong>and</strong> even solo, regardless of if they can actually hold a tune. In the plains region of Colombia, singing is<br />

often a valuable element to meetings. Story telling <strong>and</strong> improv song writing festivals <strong>and</strong> competitions are<br />

common, in Colombia. Winners - the cuenteros (storytellers) who have the best story telling style <strong>and</strong> the<br />

verseadores (improv song composers) that compose the best “verses” 15 - are held in high regard <strong>for</strong> their<br />

skill in weaving words <strong>together</strong>. Street per<strong>for</strong>mers commonly use story telling as a <strong>for</strong>m of busking, <strong>and</strong><br />

generally attract sizeable crowds. The well known works of Gabriel Garcia Marquez, winner of the Nobel<br />

Prize in Literature, popularized a literary style known as “magical realism,” which reflects the <strong>Colombian</strong><br />

penchant <strong>for</strong> good story telling. In conversation, <strong>Colombian</strong>s tend to focus on communicating ideas rather<br />

than on mathematical precision. For example, “the other day” can mean anything from “yesterday” to<br />

“several years ago.” Exaggeration is a common tool of speech, useful <strong>for</strong> making stories more enjoyable or<br />

captivating <strong>for</strong> the listener - since it is better to tell an interesting story than a factual one.<br />

Music <strong>and</strong> Dance: Music <strong>and</strong> dance are important aspects of <strong>Colombian</strong> culture, <strong>and</strong> Colombia is richly<br />

blessed with a wide variety of cultural <strong>and</strong> regional musical genres <strong>and</strong> accompanying dance styles.<br />

Be it at church, a birthday party or wedding reception, in a shopping centre or even just at home, music<br />

is appreciated, <strong>and</strong> it is often enjoyed at volume levels a few notches higher than typical <strong>for</strong> most<br />

Canadians. Volume levels that may seem unnervingly loud to some Canadians may be just right - even<br />

optimal <strong>for</strong> relaxing - <strong>for</strong> many <strong>Colombian</strong>s.<br />

Most <strong>Colombian</strong>s enjoy dancing <strong>and</strong> do so very well. Starting in kindergarten or earlier, children are taught<br />

traditional dances. Dancing with one’s family <strong>and</strong> friends is a common element to celebrations such as New<br />

Years or birthdays. Although some conservative churches in Colombia discourage dancing, most people of<br />

faith embrace their ability <strong>and</strong> enjoyment of dancing as an essential part of their cultural identity.<br />

Milestones & Special Dates: There are a number of annual events or once-in-a-lifetime events that<br />

are of great importance to <strong>Colombian</strong>s.<br />

15. Festivals of verseadores include contrapunteo or piqueria - verbal dual-style competitions between two singers who must<br />

respond back <strong>and</strong> <strong>for</strong>th to one another until one can no longer improvise a good response as well as competitions in which<br />

singers are given a topic about which to improvise verses on the spot, or a phrase with which their verses must end or rhyme.


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

47<br />

A girl’s 15th birthday marks her passing into womanhood. It is not unheard of <strong>for</strong> parents to go into debt<br />

in order to host a first class party celebrating this important milestone in their daughter’s life. There is no<br />

equivalent important birthday <strong>for</strong> boys.<br />

New Year’s Day is the most important holiday of the year, <strong>and</strong> being <strong>together</strong> with extended family<br />

<strong>for</strong> New Year’s is more important than it is on Christmas. New Year’s is celebrated with food, music,<br />

<strong>and</strong> even firecrackers.<br />

Many <strong>Colombian</strong>s enjoy gift giving on special days like birthdays <strong>and</strong> Christmas. Even small gifts are<br />

appreciated. For poorer families, this may never have been a possibility.<br />

Behaviour in the home: Good hospitality dem<strong>and</strong>s that the host or hostess offer her visitors a seat<br />

<strong>and</strong> something to drink right away. It is not uncommon <strong>for</strong> the host/ess to continue cooking, alone, in<br />

the kitchen while guests wait.<br />

In the home food is usually served on the plate rather than placed on the table in serving dishes. Serving<br />

oneself <strong>and</strong> choosing one’s portions will be a new experience <strong>for</strong> <strong>Colombian</strong>s in Canada.<br />

It is completely normal to leave shoes on inside the house.<br />

It is quite rude to put your feet up on the couch. One should act “proper” when visiting the home of<br />

others.<br />

Due to Colombia’s weaker septic systems <strong>Colombian</strong>s are not accustomed to flushing toilet paper, but<br />

rather use the waste basket.<br />

Common Food: Although food in Colombia is quite regional, some generalizations can be made.<br />

Breakfast may contain a combination of the following: coffee or hot chocolate, fresh juice, arepas (a<br />

heavy, thick “tortilla” or “pancake” made from corn meal or freshly ground corn), buns, eggs, caldo (a<br />

broth containing meat, potatoes <strong>and</strong> cilantro) or changua (a soup made of eggs, onions, milk, cheese<br />

<strong>and</strong> bread). In the rural regions breakfast may be even more substantial, including fish, meat, cheese,<br />

yuca or plantain. Another breakfast option common to many regions of Colombia is calentado - many<br />

leftovers from the previous day, often including rice <strong>and</strong> beans, are put <strong>together</strong> in a skillet <strong>and</strong> warmed<br />

up. Sweet food <strong>for</strong> breakfast is not at all common.<br />

Lunch generally begins with a soup <strong>and</strong> is followed with a plate containing several portions of carbohydrates<br />

such as rice, plantain, potatoes, pasta or yuca, a protein in the <strong>for</strong>m of chicken, beef, pork or fish, <strong>and</strong><br />

a small portion of salad (often consisting of raw onion <strong>and</strong> tomato slices) <strong>and</strong>/or cooked vegetables.<br />

Eating raw vegetables (other than in salads) is extremely uncommon. Lunch will be accompanied by<br />

fresh fruit juice, which is often drunk at the end of the meal. Desserts in restaurants, if served at all, come<br />

in bite-sized portions, reflecting the fact that <strong>Colombian</strong>s do not normally eat large nor rich desserts.


48<br />

w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

Usually tinto (black coffee) or aromatica (herbal tea made from fresh fruits <strong>and</strong> herbs) is served in place<br />

of dessert.<br />

Some typical, regional lunches include Ajiaco, which is common in Bogota <strong>and</strong> B<strong>and</strong>eja Paisa, from the<br />

Medellin region. Ajiaco is a soup made from three varieties of potatoes <strong>and</strong> aracacha, a starchy root,<br />

complemented with corn on the cob, chicken, avocado, sour cream, capers <strong>and</strong> rice. B<strong>and</strong>eja Paisa<br />

consists of a heaping plate of beans, ground beef, sausage, chicharrón (fried pig skin), a fried egg, rice,<br />

plantain, arepa <strong>and</strong> a slice of avocado.<br />

Supper varies - <strong>for</strong> some it may be very similar to lunch <strong>and</strong> <strong>for</strong> others it may be something light such as<br />

fruit, arepas, cheese <strong>and</strong> hot chocolate.<br />

Common snacks include avena - a sweet, creamy drink made from oatmeal, savory empanadas, cheesestuffed<br />

arepas, <strong>and</strong> <strong>and</strong> pan de bono - buns made from yuca flour <strong>and</strong> stuffed with cheese or bocadillo<br />

(guava paste).<br />

For many displaced people, meat, vegetables <strong>and</strong> fruit may be too expensive to eat on a regular basis.<br />

Lentils <strong>and</strong> rice make up large portions of the diets of those with fewer resources, while the poorest<br />

subsist on bread <strong>and</strong> agua de panela (water sweetened with cane sugar).<br />

Eating out: Inexpensive lunches are widely available throughout Colombia’s cities, <strong>and</strong> eating out <strong>for</strong><br />

lunch is common among middle class professionals <strong>and</strong> students.<br />

“Humours”: Many <strong>Colombian</strong>s believe that the “humours” 16 of others are left behind on their clothing<br />

<strong>and</strong> items they have touched. The concept of humours could perhaps be compared to the North<br />

American concepts of a person’s “energy” or “vibes.” It is not a religious belief, but rather a cultural one.<br />

On the bus, <strong>Colombian</strong>s often do not take a seat immediately after the person previously occupying the<br />

seat st<strong>and</strong>s up. It is better to wait <strong>for</strong> the seat to cool down <strong>and</strong> <strong>for</strong> the humours of the other person<br />

to leave be<strong>for</strong>e sitting down. This evasion of the humours of others is not meant as judgement of their<br />

cleanliness: everyone has humours <strong>and</strong> one’s outwards appearance does not necessarily represent<br />

one’s humours.<br />

This is another reason why buying second h<strong>and</strong> clothing is not common <strong>for</strong> <strong>Colombian</strong>s. Second h<strong>and</strong><br />

clothes still contain the “humours” of the previous user, <strong>and</strong> one does not want to contaminate oneself<br />

with potentially negative humours.<br />

16. The ancient physicians believed that there were four humors (the blood, phlegm, yellow bile or choler, <strong>and</strong> black bile or<br />

melancholy), on the relative proportion of which the temperament <strong>and</strong> health depended. State of mind, whether habitual or<br />

temporary (as <strong>for</strong>merly supposed to depend on the character or combination of the fluids of the body); disposition; temper;<br />

mood; as, good humor; ill humor. [1913 Webster].


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

49<br />

Gestures: A human being’s height is always demonstrated with the palm of the h<strong>and</strong> held out facing<br />

sideways while the height of animals is demonstrated with the palm of the h<strong>and</strong> facing down. Most<br />

<strong>Colombian</strong>s are shocked when they see a Canadian indicate the height of a person with a downward<br />

facing palm.<br />

Yawning may indicate hunger as well as tiredness.<br />

Last Names: <strong>Colombian</strong>s have two last names, the first one inherited from their father <strong>and</strong> the second<br />

from their mother. <strong>Colombian</strong> parents pass on the first of their own two last names to their children. For<br />

example, if Pablo Ortiz Padilla <strong>and</strong> Sara Herrera Dominguez have a child named Ana, Ana’s full name will<br />

be Ana Ortiz Herrera. Both parents’ first last names are taken into account when referring to the family<br />

group, thus Pablo, Sara <strong>and</strong> Ana will be known as the “Ortiz Herrera family.” A common mistake <strong>for</strong><br />

Canadians is to assume that all the members of a <strong>Colombian</strong> family will share a common last name, <strong>and</strong><br />

that this last name will be the father’s second last name (In the case of our example, many Canadians<br />

would mistakenly assume that Pablo, Sara <strong>and</strong> Ana are the ‘Padilla family’ - this will sound very odd to<br />

the <strong>Colombian</strong> family.) For most <strong>Colombian</strong>s the idea of a woman changing her name at marriage to<br />

her husb<strong>and</strong>’s last name seems both archaic <strong>and</strong> sexist. Occasionally a mother will pass both of her<br />

last names on to her children, especially in situations where the father is not present or does not take<br />

responsibility <strong>for</strong> the child.<br />

Religious Composition: Most <strong>Colombian</strong>s consider themselves to be religious, with some 90%<br />

identifying as Catholic. Most of the remaining 10% belong to Protestant denominations, especially<br />

common are the Evangelical, Pentecostal <strong>and</strong> Neo-Pentecostal movements, however there is also a<br />

small but significant presence of historical churches such as the Lutheran, Mennonite, Presbyterian,<br />

Baptist <strong>and</strong> Methodist. Along with indigenous religions, a minor percentage of the population identify<br />

as Mormon, Jehovah’s Witness, Muslim or Jewish, while others identify as Buddhist or atheist. The<br />

Constitution of 1991 recognized freedom of worship <strong>and</strong> no longer identified the Catholic Church the<br />

official state church. Prior to this, in the 40s, 50s <strong>and</strong> 60s, during a time known as “The Violence,” there<br />

were periods of fierce religious persecution <strong>and</strong> violence, primarily directed from Catholics towards non-<br />

Catholics, <strong>and</strong> only recently have ecumenical movements begun.<br />

Importance of Class: <strong>Colombian</strong> society is heavily stratified, based on an economic class system.<br />

One of the clearest ways in which class divisions are marked is that of the “strata” markings of each<br />

neighbourhood. Throughout <strong>Colombian</strong> cities, each neighbourhood is assigned a number, from one<br />

to six, with one being the lowest stratum, <strong>and</strong> there<strong>for</strong>e the poorest neighbourhoods <strong>and</strong> six being the<br />

highest stratum <strong>and</strong> most affluent neighbourhoods. The cost of rent <strong>and</strong> public services such as water,<br />

electricity, natural gas, telephone lines <strong>and</strong> internet are priced respective to the strata, with lower costs<br />

in lower strata <strong>and</strong> higher costs in upper strata neighbourhoods. In some cities neighbourhoods from<br />

different strata are intermixed, while in other cities there is great separation between neighbourhoods of<br />

high <strong>and</strong> low strata. In many cases <strong>Colombian</strong>s from the highest strata may have never set foot in strata<br />

one or two neighbourhoods. The decision to geographically stratify cities was a government decision,<br />

made in order to organize the payment of taxes <strong>and</strong> services.


50<br />

w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

CULTURAL OBSERVATIONS FROM COLOMBIAN REFUGEES<br />

Many of the <strong>Colombian</strong> <strong>refugees</strong> interviewed shared insights <strong>and</strong> observations that they had made<br />

about Canadian culture <strong>and</strong> society. By noticing which aspects of Canadian culture struck <strong>Colombian</strong><br />

<strong>refugees</strong> as “different” or “unusual,” we can learn a lot about the context <strong>and</strong> culture from which they<br />

have come.<br />

The presence <strong>and</strong> role of figures of authority, especially police, in Canada: Encounters with<br />

members of the armed <strong>for</strong>ces or police in Colombia often result in feelings such as fear or distrust <strong>for</strong><br />

displaced <strong>Colombian</strong>s. Some of the interviewed <strong>Colombian</strong>s were surprised to have neutral or even<br />

positive encounters with police in Canada.<br />

“Here policemen pass you without causing problems.” - Roberto<br />

“One day I was working on a street in the city when an RCMP car stopped next to me <strong>and</strong> a police man<br />

asked me a question. I didn’t underst<strong>and</strong> him, <strong>and</strong> because of my pronunciation of English he realized that I<br />

wasn’t Canadian, or that I was a newcomer. He got out of the car <strong>and</strong> I became quite nervous - not because I<br />

felt that I was illegal, but rather because I thought that perhaps I didn’t have the necessary attire or uni<strong>for</strong>m,<br />

<strong>and</strong> that maybe I was missing something like a reflective vest. I really didn’t know what I could have done<br />

wrong, but as a <strong>Colombian</strong> one always feels guilty of something. I quickly realized that the policeman only<br />

wanted to get to know me a little bit, <strong>and</strong> he began to ask me questions about why I was here, <strong>and</strong> what was<br />

going on in Colombia. I began to talk to him about our <strong>Colombian</strong> “story.” Our conversation ended with<br />

the policeman giving me a big hug <strong>and</strong> a warm welcome to Canada, <strong>and</strong> telling me that he felt sorry <strong>for</strong><br />

everything that was going on in Colombia....I asked myself ‘How is it possible that here the policemen hug<br />

strangers if in Colombia the police assassinate their countrymen?’” - José<br />

Family <strong>and</strong> community life: Numerous <strong>Colombian</strong>s found social life in Canada to be quite different.<br />

For some, a sense of local community was missing. Others remarked on the sense of citizenship <strong>and</strong><br />

care <strong>for</strong> nature they saw in Canada while others noted differences in the visibility of poverty.<br />

“In Canada people spend more time in their homes. People are very independent here, each person lives<br />

their life, children leave home young.” - Dora<br />

“The atmosphere is more tranquil here. It’s a nice ambiance. The people have a sense of citizenship - you see<br />

the cities are very organized, the cars park where they are supposed to park, you don’t even need police. The<br />

city is very clean. Here pedestrians have the right of way, the cars stop so the people can cross the street. You<br />

don’t see many police. You see that everything is very organized <strong>and</strong> the people don’t want to leave here. In<br />

Colombia people spend more time socializing with their neighbours outside in the streets.” - Alex<br />

“In Colombia you go out on the street <strong>and</strong> see a lot of people begging, asking <strong>for</strong> help....Here you go out on<br />

the street <strong>and</strong> you don’t see anyone asking <strong>for</strong> money.” - Cecilia


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

51<br />

Social situations <strong>and</strong> interpersonal relations:<br />

Many interviewed <strong>Colombian</strong>s alluded to differences<br />

in terms of equality <strong>and</strong> social stratification. As<br />

displaced people in Colombia they had experienced<br />

discrimination <strong>and</strong> marginalization in Colombia. Being<br />

treated as equals in Canada was one of the most<br />

common observations about the cultural differences<br />

they had noticed since arriving in Canada.<br />

“In Colombia people recognized me around the<br />

country <strong>and</strong> I was well liked as a newscaster <strong>and</strong><br />

journalist. After my displacement I used to be<br />

embarrassed easily. In Colombia you have to wear<br />

nice clothes, a suit <strong>and</strong> tie, if you go to the bank or<br />

go out shopping. Here you don’t have to do that, no<br />

one is paying attention to how I dress, to what I eat.<br />

If I go into the bank with s<strong>and</strong>als <strong>and</strong> shorts, no one<br />

cares. Here there isn’t discrimination about what one<br />

is buying, whether I’m buying rice <strong>and</strong> eggs (food <strong>for</strong><br />

a poorer person) or whether I’m buying meat (food <strong>for</strong><br />

a richer person).” - Carlos<br />

“I realize that no one looks at you here. If you are walking in flip flops it looks normal. People mind their own<br />

business, their shopping - they aren’t paying attention to you. It is a different culture, but they see us as normal.<br />

It’s not like in Colombia where if you go to a bank or to a store wearing simple clothing the door guards ask you<br />

what you want, what you are doing there....[Here] if you don’t speak English people try to help you.” - Roberto<br />

“It’s neat to learn about another culture. We’ve noticed a lot of differences: At the supermarket women with<br />

little children go ahead. Children are given a lot of privileges here. Honesty: we left our wedding rings in a<br />

doctor’s office, later we returned <strong>and</strong> they had saved them <strong>for</strong> us.” - Jorge<br />

“There are times when I’m walking on the street <strong>and</strong> people that I don’t know greet me saying ‘good morning.’<br />

They don’t look at me they way they did in Colombia - when one walks in the street <strong>and</strong> when a rich person<br />

passes they look down on you. The people treat me much better here...My son felt a lot of discrimination in<br />

Colombia, he was considered a “special child” <strong>and</strong> wasn’t allowed to attend school, <strong>and</strong> here they treat him<br />

like any other child. He is not the same as he was in Colombia. Here he is waking up, he is adapting to the<br />

other children. He speaks more! He underst<strong>and</strong>s a lot. He is learning to write. He has many friends <strong>and</strong> the<br />

teachers love him. He is learning how to greet people with his h<strong>and</strong> rather than by hugging.” - Adriana<br />

Driving etiquette: Observations about compliance with the rules of the road speak to the difference<br />

between being behind the wheel in Colombia <strong>and</strong> in Canada.


52<br />

w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

“Here drivers come to a complete stop at every stop sign. When we told our sponsors that in Colombia we<br />

also have stop signs, but no one respects them, they replied that here there is a $250 fine <strong>for</strong> not stopping.<br />

I am not sure if Canadians obey the rules because of fear of a fine, or because of their culture of proper<br />

conduct. I think it is a combination of both.” - José<br />

Differences in diet: Some <strong>Colombian</strong>s commented on encountering surprises as they were served<br />

their first meals in Canada.<br />

“When we arrived to the apartment we were really hungry because of the trip. There was some roasted<br />

chicken in the apartment. We told our sponsors that we hadn’t eaten, so they heated up the chicken. When<br />

we bit into the chicken we were shocked to discover that it didn’t taste like anything! It didn’t have any<br />

flavour! Here they eat raw vegetables - in Colombia we eat cooked vegetables. It was really funny <strong>for</strong> us to<br />

eat raw vegetables. We had to keep ourselves from laughing out loud.” - Sara<br />

Hope <strong>for</strong> building intercultural community: Despite what may initially seem like great cultural<br />

differences, even barriers, <strong>Colombian</strong> <strong>refugees</strong> are <strong>hope</strong>ful about the possibility of developing mutual<br />

underst<strong>and</strong>ing with their new Canadian friends <strong>and</strong> communities.<br />

“We <strong>hope</strong> to accustom ourselves to the Canadian “human warmth.” We can’t say that here there is no<br />

human warmth, only that it is very different from the Latino human warmth.” - José<br />

“We are human, <strong>and</strong> we are with other human beings. We have the possibility of mutual underst<strong>and</strong>ing<br />

with one another with any human society in the world. We have differences in our customs <strong>and</strong> certain<br />

elements in our society, but there are common elements that unite us in our identity. As believers in God,<br />

we have the identity <strong>and</strong> <strong>hope</strong> to be able to connect with <strong>and</strong> underst<strong>and</strong> people in any part of the world.”<br />

- David<br />

RESOURCES ON COLOMBIAN CULTURE<br />

Although some of the following resources fail to mention - or seem to even deny - the presence of an armed conflict in<br />

Colombia, they are excellent resources to learn more about the many beautiful aspects of Colombia <strong>and</strong> <strong>Colombian</strong> culture.<br />

The official tourism website of Colombia has in<strong>for</strong>mation on the cultures, traditions, food, <strong>and</strong> holidays of many different different<br />

regions of Colombia: http://www.colombia.travel/en/<br />

BBC Country Profiles page has up to date in<strong>for</strong>mation on Colombia:<br />

CIA World Factbook entry on Colombia:<br />

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/country_profiles/default.stm<br />

https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/geos/co.html<br />

The official youtube channel <strong>for</strong> tourism in Colombia has many high quality videos showing Colombia <strong>and</strong> it’s culture:<br />

http://www.youtube.com/user/Colombiatravel<br />

Though dated, much of the in<strong>for</strong>mation remains relevant on this Citizenship <strong>and</strong> Immigration Canada profile <strong>for</strong> Colombia:<br />

http://www.cp-pc.ca/english/colombia/index.html


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

53<br />

USING INTERPRETERS<br />

Most churches will initially need to use an interpreter to communicate with their sponsored <strong>Colombian</strong><br />

refugee family. This is a normal part of <strong>for</strong>ming cross-cultural relationships. Finding a good interpreter can<br />

be a challenge, especially outside of larger urban centres.<br />

There are a number of factors to take into account when choosing an appropriate interpreter. A good<br />

interpreter builds trust <strong>and</strong> is an important part of helping the family to feel com<strong>for</strong>table in their relationship<br />

with the church. A poor choice of interpreter can, on the contrary, damage the relationship <strong>and</strong> create<br />

distrust <strong>and</strong> poor communication. If your church has Spanish speakers in the congregation, there is<br />

nothing wrong with involving them in the accompaniment of the refugee family, in fact, doing so is likely<br />

something that would be greatly appreciated by the refugee family. Nonetheless, there are important<br />

considerations to be made be<strong>for</strong>e deciding if that person is an appropriate interpreter or not.<br />

The <strong>Colombian</strong>s interviewed <strong>for</strong> this guide gave examples of both positive <strong>and</strong> negative experiences that<br />

they had had with the interpreters in Canada. The following two examples illustrate important factors to<br />

consider when choosing an interpreter to use with your <strong>Colombian</strong> refugee family.<br />

Because of the complexity of the armed conflict in Colombia, some <strong>Colombian</strong>s may not feel com<strong>for</strong>table<br />

with an interpreter from Colombia. <strong>Colombian</strong>s who do not have a prior relationship often have difficulty<br />

trusting one another, especially if they were victims of different armed groups. <strong>Colombian</strong> <strong>refugees</strong> may<br />

not feel free to speak honestly about their past or present situation to a <strong>Colombian</strong> interpreter. The<br />

following quote illustrates that it is often preferable to find an interpreter from another Spanish - speaking<br />

country. It also illustrates the negative impact that an interpreter who does not follow the guidelines of<br />

interpretation can have:<br />

“I think that it is very important that the interpreters not be from the same country as oneself.<br />

Our interpreter sometimes tells us that ‘we need to be grateful because the church has given<br />

that to you - I never had that.’ I feel judged. I think that an interpreter should build more trust.<br />

Other <strong>Colombian</strong>s feel the same way. For example, I have a Mexican friend <strong>and</strong> we sit <strong>and</strong><br />

talk...Someone like her would be a good interpreter. The key moment is when one arrives...<br />

you need a person (interpreter) you can trust.” - Nilsa<br />

Nonetheless, nationality is not the only consideration. Another refugee family reported a situation in<br />

which a church chose a interpreter from within the congregation who appeared to intentionally attempt<br />

to damage the family’s reputation, perhaps because of personal issues:<br />

“We had a communication problem because of the interpreter who seemed to want to<br />

manipulate in<strong>for</strong>mation....Because the interpreter had more credibility in the church, having<br />

been there longer than we had, the church believed the interpreter rather than us. (Because<br />

of things the interpreter said about us) we saw a change in the way the people in the church<br />

treated us....The situation was sad <strong>and</strong> uncom<strong>for</strong>table <strong>for</strong> us. It was difficult to know that


54<br />

w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

people in the church could be thinking badly of us....Churches need to be careful when choosing<br />

an interpreter. An interpreter should say only what is said, <strong>and</strong> nothing more. They should<br />

not manipulate in<strong>for</strong>mation, add their opinion, or give advice. If the church chooses someone<br />

from the congregation, they should consider what principles the person has, what strengths<br />

<strong>and</strong> what weaknesses he or she has - are they short tempered, impatient, of bad humour?<br />

Maybe the church can find a good interpreter in the church, but I think it would be good every<br />

once in a while <strong>for</strong> the church to ask <strong>for</strong> a professional interpreter just to talk about specific<br />

things <strong>and</strong> make sure everything is alright.” - Carolina<br />

If using a Spanish speaker from within your congregation or community as an interpreter is the best or<br />

only option, you may want to consider organizing a training session with this person ahead of time. Such a<br />

session would be important not only <strong>for</strong> the “in house” interpreter but also <strong>for</strong> church members who will<br />

be speaking through the interpreter, to ensure smooth communication <strong>and</strong> mutual underst<strong>and</strong>ing during<br />

conversations. The chart in appendix #2 contains some useful guidelines <strong>for</strong> working with interpreters<br />

that you could use in your preparation session with the in house interpreter.


Promoting Restoration from<br />

Refugee Trauma<br />

UNDERSTANDING REFUGEE<br />

TRAUMA<br />

As victims of war, torture <strong>and</strong> human rights abuses,<br />

<strong>Colombian</strong> <strong>refugees</strong> have often experienced<br />

considerable trauma. Just as trauma effects a person’s<br />

mental <strong>and</strong> emotional well being, trauma can <strong>and</strong> does<br />

affect how <strong>refugees</strong> interact with <strong>and</strong> adapt to their<br />

receiving community. At the same time, <strong>Colombian</strong><br />

<strong>refugees</strong> are people of great resilience, strength <strong>and</strong><br />

courage <strong>and</strong> have potential not only to recover from the<br />

effects of their past experiences but to grow in new <strong>and</strong><br />

meaningful ways. When considering refugee trauma, it<br />

is useful to begin by differentiating the following three<br />

concepts: stress, trauma <strong>and</strong> resilience. 17<br />

The word stress is used to refer to any outside <strong>for</strong>ce<br />

or event that has an effect on the body, mind or<br />

emotions. We also use the word stress to refer to the<br />

automatic physical, mental or emotional response to<br />

these events. Stress - both the event <strong>and</strong> the reaction<br />

- is a normal part of life <strong>and</strong> can be neutral, positive<br />

or negative. A healthy level of stress encourages<br />

productivity <strong>and</strong> creativity <strong>and</strong> leads to a sense<br />

of well-being <strong>and</strong> satisfaction. Too much stress is<br />

overwhelming, causing frustration <strong>and</strong> distress. Stress<br />

that builds up over time is known as accumulated or<br />

compounded stress, <strong>and</strong> can cause general anxiety,<br />

depression <strong>and</strong> even burnout.<br />

<strong>Colombian</strong> <strong>refugees</strong> share their<br />

experiences dealing with the<br />

effects of trauma after arriving in<br />

Canada:<br />

“Here you really keep your<br />

memories to yourself. At times it<br />

seems as though you have lost your<br />

memory. Sometimes I don’t think<br />

about those memories <strong>for</strong> many<br />

days. Other days the memories<br />

come back to you <strong>and</strong> it’s like living<br />

them all over again. The “memory<br />

loss” doesn’t last very long - but<br />

those moments (when you are not<br />

thinking about your past) - are<br />

really cool. You feel good when<br />

you are not thinking about the<br />

memories of what you have lived.”<br />

- Sara<br />

“Sometimes it’s difficult because it is<br />

still...sometimes it seems like it was<br />

just yesterday. I still don’t know how<br />

to cure that. Every so often I feel<br />

nostalgic, it hits me hard <strong>and</strong> causes<br />

me stress.”<br />

- D o r a<br />

17. Definitions of stress, trauma <strong>and</strong> resilience adapted from the Strategies <strong>for</strong> Trauma Awareness <strong>and</strong> Resilience (STAR) Program,<br />

Eastern Mennonite University, Virginia, USA. www.emu.edu/star


56<br />

w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

“The memories of family<br />

members that you left behind<br />

are difficult. You <strong>hope</strong> that<br />

you can visit them one day.<br />

You wish you could vaccinate<br />

the perpetrators of the<br />

violence, so that they would<br />

stop doing such stupid things.”<br />

- Carlos<br />

“When we first came here it was really<br />

hard <strong>for</strong> us when people asked us where we<br />

lived, how many children we had, where we<br />

came from, why we came. We had trained<br />

ourselves <strong>and</strong> our children never to give<br />

out that kind of in<strong>for</strong>mation. We were<br />

always on the defence. It was the same with<br />

pictures - we didn’t want anyone to take<br />

our pictures. We were worried when our<br />

children’s pictures showed up on the school<br />

walls, we didn’t want their pictures to appear<br />

in the newspaper. At first we always said ‘no,<br />

no, no, no, no, no.’ We were trying to protect<br />

ourselves, but later we realized that we had to<br />

change. That it is ok, even nice, to talk about<br />

ourselves. We had to adapt. These are things<br />

that take time to get over. You never stop<br />

being alert. Here people are more trusting.<br />

This is a good place <strong>for</strong> us - it is peaceful, we<br />

can go outside <strong>for</strong> walks.”<br />

- Nidia<br />

Like stress, trauma can be used to refer both to an event <strong>and</strong> to the response that survivors have to the<br />

event. Traumatic events are highly stressful, horrifying events over which people feel that they have no<br />

control <strong>and</strong> in which they feel powerless <strong>and</strong> threatened by injury or death to themselves or someone else.<br />

Some of the traumatic events that <strong>refugees</strong> experience can be found on the chart Triple Trauma Paradigm<br />

in the section Characteristics of the Refugee Journey. Traumatic events can be classified into different<br />

categories:<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

entire group of people.<br />

<br />

<br />

or ethnocide.<br />

<br />

unjust systems, poverty, racism <strong>and</strong> other <strong>for</strong>ms of discrimination.


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

57<br />

Most <strong>Colombian</strong> <strong>refugees</strong> will have experienced several, if not most of these different layers of trauma.<br />

Traumatic stress is the physical, mental or emotional response to having experienced traumatic events.<br />

These responses to the traumatic event are normal, <strong>and</strong> can be understood as coping mechanisms that<br />

trauma survivors use to get through difficult or traumatic situations. However, over time these responses<br />

- the symptoms or expressions of trauma - if maintained, become dysfunctional. For example if a person<br />

whose life is in danger wakes up frequently during the night, this trauma response/symptom may<br />

actually save her life by ensuring that she is constantly aware of what is going on around her <strong>and</strong> able<br />

to detect any potential danger. However, assuming this person is now in Canada <strong>and</strong> safe from danger,<br />

constant waking up throughout the night now serve no useful purpose - this trauma symptom has now<br />

become an inappropriate coping mechanism.<br />

Although it might seem illogical that trauma symptoms would continue or return after the survivor has<br />

arrived in a safe environment, the fact is they often do. Trauma symptoms often take time to go away,<br />

even when the survivor is no longer in immediate danger. When <strong>refugees</strong> move to a different country,<br />

they face many stressful life changes while at the same time the support systems that they had in place<br />

to help them cope in their home country are taken away. The stressful events of the transition may trigger<br />

earlier symptoms of trauma, causing those responses to show up again, even though they are no longer<br />

appropriate or needed.<br />

Despite the wide variety of ways in which humans respond to trauma, the same range of effects <strong>and</strong><br />

responses is common to all kinds of traumas. 18 This means that if you have ever experienced a traumatic<br />

event, such as a life-threatening accident, a devastating storm or earthquake or a sudden death of a loved<br />

one, you may have experienced some of the same physical, emotional <strong>and</strong> social trauma responses as<br />

the refugee family has experienced. Nonetheless, it is very important to remember that when a traumatic<br />

event was premeditated <strong>and</strong> carried out by other human beings, which is the case <strong>for</strong> war <strong>and</strong> human<br />

rights abuses, the effects of the trauma tend to be more severe <strong>and</strong> longer lasting. Recognizing that<br />

responses to different kinds of trauma are similar can take some of the mystery out of talking about<br />

trauma <strong>and</strong> its effects while also helping us to empathize <strong>and</strong> to give more effective support.<br />

Since many of the responses or symptoms of trauma are “silent” <strong>and</strong> could easily go undetected it is<br />

important to listen <strong>and</strong> watch <strong>for</strong> both verbal <strong>and</strong> non-verbal signs of trauma. By learning what to look <strong>for</strong>,<br />

how to look <strong>for</strong> it, <strong>and</strong> how to respond you can be part of the process of restoration from trauma.<br />

Resilience is the capacity of individuals <strong>and</strong> communities to adapt, survive <strong>and</strong> bounce back in the midst<br />

of or after hardship <strong>and</strong> adversity. The term resilience comes from the fields of physics <strong>and</strong> engineering,<br />

<strong>and</strong> refers to elasticity - an ability to bend <strong>and</strong> stretch without breaking. Resilient people are able to return<br />

to equilibrium <strong>and</strong> a level of functioning the same as or greater than be<strong>for</strong>e a crisis, tragedy or trauma,<br />

<strong>and</strong> to live with <strong>hope</strong> <strong>and</strong> joy despite adversity.<br />

18. Evelyn C. Lennon, MSW, MA. (2005) New Neighbours Hidden Scars, chapter 3 <strong>Healing</strong> the Hurt. Minneapolis, MN: The Centre<br />

<strong>for</strong> Victims of Torture, www.ctv.org


58<br />

w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

Factors that contribute to resilience include the following:<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

challenges <strong>and</strong> solve problems<br />

<br />

these in an appropriate way<br />

<br />

<strong>and</strong> <strong>hope</strong>.<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<strong>and</strong> social services.<br />

Something called “post-traumatic growth” has been observed in people who have survived traumas. Posttraumatic<br />

growth is evident in people that are not only able to reach a place of equilibrium <strong>and</strong> renewed<br />

life after trauma but also demonstrate profound <strong>and</strong> continued growth as a result of the trauma.<br />

The following sections will go into more detail about the effects that refugee trauma can have on the<br />

individual <strong>and</strong> the family, both personally <strong>and</strong> in relation to their new environment. we’ve also included<br />

tips on talking about trauma <strong>and</strong> promoting restoration <strong>and</strong> rebuilding life after traumatic events.<br />

“There are dates that I will<br />

never <strong>for</strong>get in my life. What<br />

happened to my son took place<br />

on my birthday - it’s very<br />

saddening to think that my<br />

boy had to go through such a<br />

terrible accident at his young<br />

age. When everything started<br />

was August 21. Every August<br />

21 is hard now. It’s a date that you wish you didn’t remember. When we had to flee from<br />

our city. I still don’t feel like I’m completely healed. Things have gotten better but the effects<br />

are still there, the sadness. I think that with time the Lord is going to heal all of that.”<br />

- Laura


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

59<br />

EFFECTS OF REFUGEE TRAUMA ON THE INDIVIDUAL<br />

The charts on pages 59 <strong>and</strong> 60 summarize some common effects of torture <strong>and</strong> war trauma. They are<br />

written in lay language, so they can be given to or discussed with <strong>refugees</strong> themselves. The charts on<br />

pages 61 <strong>and</strong> 62 categorize common refugee concerns that pose many challenges in recovering from<br />

trauma. Appendix #3 contains a complementary chart on common responses to trauma that you may<br />

also find useful.<br />

COMMON EFFECTS OF WAR AND TRAUMA<br />

Post-Traumatic Stress<br />

Disorder<br />

Nightmares<br />

Bad thoughts or memories<br />

of the war come into your<br />

mind when you don’t want<br />

them to<br />

Acting or feeling like the war<br />

is happening all over again<br />

(e.g., flashbacks)<br />

Feeling very upset when<br />

something reminds you of<br />

the war or torture<br />

Trying to <strong>for</strong>get the war or<br />

torture, trying<br />

not to think about it<br />

Staying away from anything<br />

that reminds<br />

you of the war or torture<br />

Can’t remember important<br />

things that happened during<br />

the war<br />

Depression<br />

Feeling sad or angry a lot<br />

Difficulty thinking or making<br />

decisions<br />

Difficulty concentrating or<br />

remembering<br />

Feeling worthless or<br />

<strong>hope</strong>less<br />

Feeling guilty a lot<br />

Feeling that you don’t care<br />

about life, that you are not<br />

interested in things<br />

Feeling too hungry or<br />

not hungry at all, gaining<br />

or losing a lot of weight<br />

without trying to<br />

Sleeping too much or too<br />

little<br />

Feeling tired a lot, not<br />

having energy<br />

Thinking about death a<br />

lot, thinking about killing<br />

yourself<br />

Internally displaced<br />

<strong>Colombian</strong>s share how<br />

trauma affects their<br />

daily lives. These kinds<br />

of fears will come with<br />

<strong>refugees</strong> when they<br />

begin life in Canada:<br />

“Taking the bus is a<br />

trauma.”<br />

- Edwin<br />

(he witnessed his father’s<br />

murder on a bus.)<br />

“I feel nervous when I<br />

walk on the street.”<br />

- Ricardo<br />

“The bad things about<br />

memories: sadness,<br />

helplessness, anger.”<br />

- Ana<br />

Common Effects of War <strong>and</strong> Trauma chart courtesy of the Center <strong>for</strong> Victims<br />

of Torture, 649 Dayton Ave., St. Paul, MN 55104, www.cvt.org<br />

© Center <strong>for</strong> Victims of Torture


60<br />

w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

COMMON EFFECTS OF WAR AND TRAUMA<br />

Post-Traumatic Stress<br />

Disorder<br />

Feeling like you don’t<br />

care about life<br />

or what happens to you<br />

Feeling numb, like there<br />

are no feelings inside<br />

you<br />

Feeling like you have no<br />

future or that you may<br />

die sooner than most<br />

people<br />

Difficulty falling asleep or<br />

staying asleep<br />

at night<br />

Feeling angry a lot, easily<br />

upset<br />

Difficulty concentrating<br />

Can’t relax or feel<br />

com<strong>for</strong>table, often afraid<br />

something bad will<br />

happen<br />

Physical Symptoms<br />

Headaches<br />

Feeling dizzy, faint or<br />

weak<br />

Chest pain<br />

Heart beats very fast<br />

Stomach hurts or<br />

feeling sick in the<br />

stomach<br />

Shaking or trembling<br />

H<strong>and</strong>s or feet feel cold<br />

Hot or burning feelings<br />

Numb or tingling<br />

sensations<br />

Sweating<br />

Diffuse or generalized<br />

sense of pain,<br />

weakness, misery<br />

Other pains in the<br />

body.<br />

“As a woman you are are more<br />

sensitive. Things affect you<br />

more. Things you remember<br />

from the life you had...you see<br />

families, <strong>and</strong> you see yourself<br />

alone...You remember your<br />

material possessions, the house,<br />

the things you had, the moment<br />

in which you had to flee. Each<br />

time I hear a cell phone I think<br />

it is someone calling to threaten<br />

me. I remember when they<br />

tied him up <strong>and</strong> I couldn’t do<br />

anything. Memories revive<br />

fears.”<br />

- Luz<br />

“I had a nervous tic that lasted<br />

<strong>for</strong> a week. I was at the verge of<br />

taking my life. I had nightmares<br />

of persecution <strong>and</strong> death.<br />

Discouragement. I haven’t been<br />

able to get over the emotional<br />

pain, it’s still there.”<br />

- Jesus<br />

“When I see someone who<br />

want’s to harm my family,<br />

I become aggressive.”<br />

- Luis<br />

“My back hurts when I have to<br />

leave the house. Seven hours of<br />

back pain.”<br />

- Julio<br />

“Because you can’t trust anyone,<br />

you act aloof, causing others not<br />

to trust you either.”<br />

- Hern<strong>and</strong>o<br />

Common Effects of War <strong>and</strong> Trauma chart courtesy of the Center<br />

<strong>for</strong> Victims of Torture, 649 Dayton Ave., St. Paul, MN 55104,<br />

www.cvt.org © Center <strong>for</strong> Victims of Torture


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

61<br />

COMMON CONCERNS FOR SURVIVORS<br />

OF TORTURE & WAR TRAUMA<br />

Fears<br />

Fear <strong>for</strong> loved ones left behind<br />

Fear of experiencing trauma or its<br />

after-affects<br />

Fear of violence <strong>and</strong> guns<br />

Fear of losing control (over anger,<br />

aggressive impulses, anxiety<br />

symptoms, etc.)<br />

Fear of people in uni<strong>for</strong>ms<br />

or positions of authority<br />

Fear of certain objects, places,<br />

activities, sensations that remind<br />

one of the trauma<br />

Loss<br />

Loss of meaning, identity, cultural<br />

values <strong>and</strong> practices<br />

Sadness <strong>and</strong> grief over loss of<br />

homel<strong>and</strong>, family, home, treasures,<br />

community status, friends,<br />

hobbies, family l<strong>and</strong>, <strong>and</strong> work<br />

Unresolved grief <strong>and</strong> conflicted<br />

feelings about ambiguous<br />

losses (e.g., disappeared family,<br />

ambivalence about one day<br />

returning to home country)<br />

Spending holidays alone,<br />

missing familiar traditions<br />

Boredom <strong>and</strong>/or<br />

underemployment<br />

Dependency on others, including<br />

one’s children, <strong>for</strong> basic needs<br />

Dealing with health problems,<br />

injury, or disfigurement as a result<br />

of war or torture<br />

Distrust<br />

Sense of betrayal<br />

Difficulty trusting others<br />

Difficulty trusting oneself<br />

(one’s thoughts, feelings,<br />

perceptions.)<br />

Difficulty being touched<br />

Communication<br />

Challenges<br />

Lack of consistent news<br />

from home country<br />

Communication<br />

difficulties between<br />

Canada <strong>and</strong> Colombia<br />

(e.g. mail get’s opened<br />

or screened,<br />

calls can’t get through<br />

or are tapped)<br />

Difficulty learning English,<br />

especially if symptoms<br />

of PTSD or depression<br />

are present<br />

Difficulty remembering<br />

<strong>and</strong> keeping track<br />

of tasks, items,<br />

appointments,<br />

conversations<br />

<strong>Colombian</strong> Refugees<br />

in Canada share their<br />

concerns <strong>and</strong> challenges:<br />

“It’s not difficult <strong>for</strong> me to<br />

call my family from here,<br />

but it is difficult to listen to<br />

them <strong>and</strong> know that they<br />

still have problems. One of<br />

my sisters has cancer <strong>and</strong><br />

is very ill. I think I will<br />

never see her again.”<br />

- Adriana<br />

“When I need to ask a<br />

question to the children’s<br />

teachers, I use an online<br />

translator <strong>and</strong> my<br />

dictionary to write out<br />

the question, <strong>and</strong> I send it<br />

to the teachers, <strong>and</strong> they<br />

reply in writing. When<br />

my wife had to go to the<br />

doctor we did the same<br />

thing, I wrote down what<br />

she was feeling so the<br />

doctor could underst<strong>and</strong>.”<br />

- David<br />

“You have to start from<br />

zero in a country where<br />

the language is different,<br />

where everything is totally<br />

far removed from what<br />

you knew be<strong>for</strong>e. It’s either<br />

leave Colombia, or your<br />

life.”<br />

- Sara<br />

Common Concerns chart courtesy of the Center <strong>for</strong> Victims of Torture, 649 Dayton Ave.,<br />

St. Paul, MN 55104, www.cvt.org © Center <strong>for</strong> Victims of Torture


62<br />

w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

COMMON CONCERNS FOR SURVIVORS<br />

OF TORTURE & WAR TRAUMA<br />

Rage, Shame <strong>and</strong> other<br />

Strong Emotions<br />

Rage at perceived sources<br />

of trauma<br />

Rage at those exempted<br />

from trauma<br />

Guilt <strong>for</strong> having survived<br />

<strong>and</strong>/or being in Canada<br />

Shame, humiliation, stigma<br />

associated with the trauma<br />

Sense of profound<br />

vulnerability<br />

Rapid escalation<br />

of distressed feelings<br />

Cultural/Community<br />

Adjustment Concerns<br />

Lack of familiarity with<br />

geography of new location,<br />

foods, sights <strong>and</strong> sounds,<br />

smells, holidays<br />

<strong>and</strong> customs<br />

Lack of familiarity with<br />

Canadian health care<br />

system, social services,<br />

<strong>and</strong> educational institutions<br />

Adjusting to Canada’s<br />

weather<br />

Dealing with tensions<br />

within<br />

the refugee community<br />

or <strong>Colombian</strong> community<br />

in Canada<br />

Dealing with racism<br />

Finding a satisfying,<br />

supportive faith community<br />

Difficulty adjusting to<br />

Canadian culture, values<br />

<strong>and</strong> lifestyle<br />

(fast paced, busyness),<br />

importance of being on<br />

time to the minute,<br />

materialism, individualism,<br />

less time <strong>for</strong> leisure<br />

<strong>and</strong> social relationships,<br />

emphasis<br />

on youth <strong>and</strong> change<br />

rather than elders<br />

<strong>and</strong> traditions.<br />

“The hardest is the<br />

language. You get used to<br />

the customs <strong>and</strong> the food.<br />

Next is the climate. The<br />

climate is very difficult -<br />

in Colombia cold stretches<br />

last 8 days - not months.<br />

And then the absence of<br />

the family.”<br />

- Pablo<br />

“One of the most difficult<br />

things that we have<br />

experienced here was<br />

when a family member<br />

died in Colombia. We felt<br />

impotent, we didn’t know<br />

what to do. We saw the<br />

distance that separates<br />

us from our country.<br />

We never imagined that<br />

we would experience a<br />

circumstance in which we<br />

would want to leave but<br />

not be able to leave.”<br />

- Laura<br />

Common Concerns chart courtesy of the Center <strong>for</strong> Victims of Torture, 649 Dayton Ave.,<br />

St. Paul, MN 55104, www.cvt.org © Center <strong>for</strong> Victims of Torture


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

63<br />

FLASHBACKS<br />

When memories from the past return<br />

It is likely that members of the refugee family will experience flashbacks on occasion after arriving in<br />

Canada. Because of your important role in supporting the refugee family it may be helpful <strong>for</strong> you to<br />

underst<strong>and</strong> flashbacks so that you can reassure the refugee family <strong>and</strong> give them guidance on how<br />

to deal with them. The following paragraphs have been adapted from the STAR program material on<br />

flashbacks. 19<br />

In normal, daily life the rational brain (cerebral cortex) is largely in charge until something happens that<br />

causes the instinctual <strong>and</strong>/or emotional parts of the brain (the limbic system <strong>and</strong> brain stem) to take<br />

over. To get back into the rational brain, a person must do something to “pull themselves <strong>together</strong>” so<br />

they can think clearly again <strong>and</strong> respond appropriately.<br />

<strong>Colombian</strong> Refugees share about experiencing flashbacks:<br />

“Memories - in the first year there is a lot<br />

of fear. Those unpleasant experiences live<br />

with you. When you go out on the street,<br />

you see a car <strong>and</strong> you react mechanically<br />

<strong>and</strong> you get frightened, but then you<br />

remember that you are in Canada <strong>and</strong><br />

you calm down.”<br />

- Filepe<br />

“I was walking in a park when someone<br />

spoke to me from behind, <strong>and</strong> it scared<br />

me so badly that I felt like I was re-living<br />

all of the experiences from Colombia. I<br />

felt a lot of fear in that moment. I kept<br />

walking but I felt like I was frozen <strong>and</strong><br />

couldn’t move. I looked behind <strong>and</strong> saw<br />

the person <strong>and</strong> I didn’t recognize his face,<br />

but then it turned out to be my friend.”<br />

- Sara<br />

“You try to not think about them again,<br />

because it’s something really ugly, something<br />

horrible. You ask God every day to <strong>for</strong>get those<br />

things. Sometimes I wake up dreaming that I’m<br />

there, I wake up afraid.”<br />

- Roberto<br />

“There are a lot of people here from the<br />

town that I come from. There is an ex-town<br />

councilor from my city. One day he called me.<br />

I was not happy to receive his call. The first<br />

thing that I thought was “if he lives here <strong>and</strong><br />

has my number...what is going on? what kind<br />

of connections does he have?”<br />

- Dora<br />

“Most of my memories are un<strong>for</strong>gettable.<br />

What do I do? - I keep the memories with me<br />

wherever I go.”<br />

- David<br />

19. Adapted from Flashbacks <strong>and</strong> the Brain-Body Link. (2004) Strategies <strong>for</strong> Trauma Resilience <strong>and</strong> Awareness (STAR), Eastern<br />

Mennonite University, Virginia, USA. www.emu.edu/star


64<br />

w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

After a traumatic incident, the process is the same, only stronger, <strong>and</strong> “pulling oneself <strong>together</strong>” may not<br />

be easy to do. Depending on how much attention is paid to trauma healing, the effects of the trauma<br />

may linger in unhealthy ways. (see previous pages as well as appendix #3). Or a person may be doing<br />

all right until they bump up against something that is similar to what was present during the original<br />

event (a trigger). It could be a smell, a particular kind of touch, hearing or seeing something that “triggers”<br />

the trauma memory, or an emotion or feeling similar to the initially traumatic one (like loss of control or<br />

shame). Suddenly, the instinctual <strong>and</strong> emotional brain (limbic system <strong>and</strong> brain stem) take over. A lot of<br />

energy is present. It can feel like the trauma event is happening all over again. This is called a flashback.<br />

Some trauma survivors may have flashbacks frequently, others just once or not at all, while others may<br />

just experience a sense of disease, depression, or anxiety.<br />

If members of the refugee family have been experiencing flashbacks, let them know that flashbacks<br />

are a common part of the reaction to trauma. Explain that they are a normal response to an abnormal<br />

situation just as bleeding is a normal response to getting cut, or pain is a normal response to a broken<br />

leg. Reassure them that flashbacks are an indicator that their body is working properly to protect itself<br />

- by remembering what happened, the body is on alert, ready in case it ever happens again. A key<br />

component of trauma is loss of control. Let them know that there are things they can do to help. For<br />

instance, it is often helpful to do some or all of the following after experiencing a flashback:<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

doing other <strong>for</strong>ms of exercise, deep breathing, allowing their body to shake, talking to<br />

someone safe, crying or dancing.<br />

<br />

<strong>and</strong> feel.<br />

<br />

<br />

blue.<br />

<br />

EFFECTS OF REFUGEE TRAUMA ON THE FAMILY<br />

The traumas <strong>and</strong> stresses inherent in the refugee journey can have a profound impact on the family unit.<br />

Even after families arrive to safety in Canada, the effects of the traumatic situations they experienced<br />

can <strong>and</strong> do affect family dynamics. In addition, the process of adapting to a new culture, community <strong>and</strong><br />

language can influence refugee family life. Family break up is commonly seen among <strong>Colombian</strong> refugee<br />

families in Canada, just as it is among internally displaced families in Colombia. This is not necessarily<br />

because these were unstable families to begin with, but more a result of the stress that surviving trauma,<br />

undergoing major life transitions <strong>and</strong> adapting to a new context brings on the family structure. Being<br />

aware of the potential challenges that refugee families will face upon resettlement will help your church<br />

prepare to offer support, counsel <strong>and</strong> orientation to the family as they navigate the new dynamics <strong>and</strong><br />

challenges that greet them as they begin life in Canada.


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

65<br />

Research from the Centre <strong>for</strong> Victims of Torture identifies a variety of effects of refugee trauma commonly<br />

seen in families. Fear, distrust <strong>and</strong> a sense of betrayal can often prevent refugee families from taking<br />

advantage of local cultural <strong>and</strong> social support groups. As a result, isolation <strong>and</strong> social withdrawal are<br />

commonly seen in refugee families. Some refugee parents may struggle with exhaustion, depression <strong>and</strong><br />

even post-traumatic stress disorder - all of this can have an effect on their ability to function as parents in<br />

a new <strong>and</strong> <strong>for</strong>eign context. Parents may have low ability to tolerate negative emotions: a child’s cry may<br />

remind a parent of times when they heard the screams of others. In situations where family members<br />

have survived torture <strong>and</strong> other trauma, silence regarding these painful events is often common, leading<br />

to “confusion, misunderst<strong>and</strong>ing, multiple versions of what happened <strong>and</strong> unaddressed blame, shame,<br />

anger, disappointment <strong>and</strong> sadness.” 20<br />

Changes in roles in the family are also common once a refugee family arrives in Canada. For example,<br />

parent-child role reversal often occurs as children learn English <strong>and</strong> acculturate more quickly than adults,<br />

becoming both language <strong>and</strong> cultural translators <strong>for</strong> their parents. Parents adapt more slowly not only<br />

because of their age, but because of trauma symptoms they continue to experience. While refugee<br />

children assume adult roles prematurely, parents experience disempowerment, losing their traditional<br />

role in the new context as they depend on their children.<br />

A similar role reversal may occur between refugee spouses themselves: as refugee women become<br />

wage earners <strong>and</strong> learn about women’s rights, they take on new roles in families that were often<br />

previously male-dominated, due to cultural norms. Women may even find paid employment be<strong>for</strong>e<br />

their husb<strong>and</strong>s <strong>and</strong> become the sole income provider of the family <strong>for</strong> a time. This can cause feelings of<br />

disempowerment or loss of purpose <strong>for</strong> the husb<strong>and</strong>, as often he would have held the economic power<br />

in the family be<strong>for</strong>e displacement, while the wife may have held more of a home-maker role.<br />

As time goes on, refugee parents may place pressure - inadvertent or outright - on their children to be<br />

immune to the family’s traumas <strong>and</strong> to compensate <strong>for</strong> the family’s losses through success in the new<br />

country. Finally, the busyness of life in Canadian society means less time to spend <strong>together</strong> as a family,<br />

<strong>and</strong> this can also have a debilitating effect on the family unity.<br />

<strong>Colombian</strong> <strong>refugees</strong> in Canada report a variety of family issues. The interview excerpts below highlight<br />

some of the recurring challenges faced by refugee families, the ways they have coped, as well as some<br />

ideas that they have <strong>for</strong> supportive ways in which churches can respond:<br />

Unfamiliar child care laws: Some <strong>refugees</strong> are confused by unfamiliar childcare laws <strong>and</strong> regulations.<br />

Others find it problematic that legally they have limited parental control over their older children’s lives.<br />

Some find themselves in situations where their teenage children come under the negative influence of<br />

other refugee families that have lived in the community longer, <strong>and</strong> find it difficult to respond:<br />

20. <strong>Healing</strong> the Hurt, Chapter 2 Torture Survivors: Family <strong>and</strong> Community Issues. (2005) Minneapolis, MN: The Centre <strong>for</strong> Victims<br />

of Torture, www.ctv.org


66<br />

w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

“Here there are many frightening things - there is a lot of liberty here, drugs, I see people smoking things in<br />

the street, children have more freedom. When I first came I didn’t know there were so many rules - rules<br />

about taking care of your children, not leaving them home alone.” - Dora<br />

“We have had difficult experiences within our family, with my daughters who were very rebellious <strong>and</strong> their<br />

involvement with another <strong>Colombian</strong> family that only wanted to harm them. We’ve had a lot of discord<br />

within the home.” - Alex<br />

Isolation: <strong>Colombian</strong> refugee families recognize the negative effects of isolation, but often find it hard<br />

to break out of patterns of withdrawal alone:<br />

“I think that when one is recently arrived, one tends to close oneself in a lot, one doesn’t go out. The church<br />

could take people out of their apartment every once in a while to go <strong>for</strong> little outings or to get to know their<br />

surroundings. The church could visit the family. Closing oneself in can produce conflicts within the family<br />

<strong>and</strong> also cause accumulated stress.” - Sara<br />

“When we first arrived we were afraid to go out. The people from church dropped us off in our apartment,<br />

<strong>and</strong> after that it seemed like we didn’t see them <strong>for</strong> a long time. We didn’t start to go out until another friend<br />

from Colombia arrived.” - Dora<br />

Family unity: While acknowledging struggles, <strong>Colombian</strong> refugee families often report that family unity<br />

is their main source of strength to carry on:<br />

“Being <strong>together</strong> again, although it has brought some challenges, has also been our greatest support. We talk<br />

<strong>together</strong> <strong>and</strong> remember things that we’ve lived through. We all share the same history, <strong>and</strong> so we also know<br />

how to resolve our problems.” - Jose<br />

“When the memories come I try to find refuge in my children <strong>and</strong> my mother.” - Sara<br />

“Our children gave us satisfaction in Colombia. Here in Canada we find satisfaction in being united as a<br />

family, finding a job - moving my family <strong>for</strong>ward with my own ef<strong>for</strong>t.” - Felipe


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

67<br />

Many <strong>Colombian</strong> refugee families agreed that a strong sense of family unity is definitely an asset <strong>for</strong><br />

families in their process of adapting to <strong>and</strong> succeeding in their new life in Canada.<br />

Remembering <strong>together</strong>: Some families choose to try to <strong>for</strong>get their past, while others find it helpful to<br />

talk, as a family, about what they experienced:<br />

“When people ask my children if Juan is their dad, they have to say he is their step dad. One day my daughter’s<br />

professor asked her how her father died, <strong>and</strong> she couldn’t contain herself when she remembered - her teacher<br />

said ‘it’s ok, it’s ok.’ The children have many memories, <strong>and</strong> me too. I don’t know if it’s good to remember<br />

them or not....On several occasions I have remembered the past - speaking with my children sometimes we<br />

make comparisons: ‘here it is like living in a paradise, here you sleep like a queen - in Colombia we all slept<br />

<strong>together</strong>, I woke up all bruised from being kicked in the night; thinking about food - what a quantity we<br />

have now <strong>and</strong> the hunger that we experienced be<strong>for</strong>e.’ In Colombia people didn’t want to rent to me because<br />

I had so many children, while here the people don’t complain, the administrator says we are a nice family<br />

<strong>and</strong> he likes us.” - Adriana<br />

“There are moments when we think about our memories, but we always try not to remember them because<br />

now we are in a new situation. We try not to talk about them with the children. But there are moments<br />

when we think about how nice it would be to visit our l<strong>and</strong>, but we know we can’t. My son said the other<br />

day ‘how great it would be to go visit the farm,’ but we can’t do that. That is all part of our past now, it stays<br />

behind. We are fighting to create something new here. We are located in the present.” - Nidia<br />

The last quote perfectly illustrates a common yet unhealthy coping strategy - trying not to remember.<br />

Avoiding remembering can actually exacerbate trauma cycles. The following section will go into more<br />

details on how the church community can encourage the family to remember their past in ways that<br />

promotes restoration <strong>and</strong> healing.<br />

Support from sponsoring church: <strong>Colombian</strong> refugee families are aware of the impact that trauma <strong>and</strong><br />

witnessing the violence has had on them as a family. They yearn <strong>for</strong> <strong>and</strong> appreciate accompaniment from<br />

the church to help them build strong <strong>and</strong> united families <strong>and</strong> overcome or avoid family breakdown:<br />

“The church should be accessible <strong>for</strong> spiritual support. You go to the Sunday morning service but no one<br />

asks you about what problems you have, you have to take the initiative to tell them. The church could<br />

provide orientation <strong>for</strong> families. If you come from a country where violence is constantly present, daily,<br />

then you come with that burden. There are people who carry that violence in their minds - they fight with<br />

each other in their families. It seems like that kind of orientation - spiritual orientation, family counselling<br />

- is missing. We have everything we need to eat, drink, dress <strong>and</strong> pay our rent thanks to the church. They<br />

come to visit <strong>and</strong> bring us things, but they haven’t asked what is missing in the sense of these other kinds<br />

of orientations. I’ve distanced myself a bit from the church because they didn’t offer me what I needed -<br />

friendships, accompaniment, listening. I found company in other people. What I mean by orientations<br />

is spaces where I could talk about my past, about difficult situations that I have lived, where I could get<br />

counselling <strong>and</strong> advice about maintaining ourselves united <strong>and</strong> strong as a family in a new country <strong>and</strong>


68<br />

w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

context, how to discipline <strong>and</strong> raise the children. Sometimes families come here with a series of problems<br />

that they bring with them from Colombia <strong>and</strong> they need help to manage <strong>and</strong> heal their problems here. I<br />

could go to the church every Sunday, but if my soul isn’t healthy, then it doesn’t help. It would be nice if the<br />

church would organize regular activities <strong>and</strong> times <strong>for</strong> us to do things <strong>together</strong>.” - Felix<br />

“You come from Colombia with many frustrations, with many problems in your head, <strong>and</strong> it is very hard<br />

on you to feel alone. If the churches really want to accompany refugee families not only in the economic<br />

sense, they could show the families that it is really a pleasure that they have arrived, that someone really<br />

was waiting <strong>for</strong> them. Families come with many affective needs - we are very affected by our pasts <strong>and</strong> we<br />

feel very lonely here - I got really sick, I had a lot of physical symptoms. The personal connection is very<br />

important. In our church in Colombia there was a warmth <strong>and</strong> a closeness, there were many activities. Here<br />

everything changes - everyone has their own life <strong>and</strong> they don’t seem to care if you are ok. The changes are<br />

terrible, changes of environment, friends. You feel frustrated. There are changes of mood in the family. It is<br />

important that the church pays attention to that. Families can sink down into problems, <strong>and</strong> that quickly<br />

creates disunity in the family. You try to take care of things, but at the beginning it’s very hard. You don’t<br />

know what you are up against. I’d recommend to churches <strong>for</strong>ming friendships, paying attention to the<br />

affective <strong>and</strong> emotional needs of the families, making sure that have someone to talk to, people who will<br />

listen to them <strong>and</strong> offer genuine friendships. It would be interesting if the churches wouldn’t only focus on<br />

the economic part, but also something more profound.” - Dora<br />

“It is important to accompany the family, visit them once a week, help them integrate, give them counsel <strong>and</strong><br />

advice, always be attentive to them <strong>and</strong> don’t <strong>for</strong>get about the spiritual aspect. I would advise churches to<br />

counsel families on how to maintain family unity. Some families begin to receive money <strong>and</strong> they begin to<br />

believe they are big, independent people, they become self-sufficient if they don’t know the word of God. The<br />

children don’t consult with their parents, they go out <strong>and</strong> get into bad habits. Churches could give counsel<br />

about money management - there are some families where the husb<strong>and</strong> controls the money <strong>and</strong> the wife<br />

doesn’t have access, <strong>and</strong> this causes problems. I’ve seen many cases. There are many divorces in <strong>Colombian</strong><br />

families, <strong>and</strong> much of it has to do with money management.” - Laura


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

69<br />

Culturally, Canadians are not prone to interfering with one another’s private lives, <strong>and</strong> church communities<br />

may wonder how they will know what kinds of issues their refugee family is facing, as these issues<br />

may be kept well hidden until they become too large to hide or too late to remedy. Like any one else,<br />

<strong>Colombian</strong> refugee families won’t find it easy to talk about family problems. Building trusting relationships<br />

<strong>and</strong> sharing mutual vulnerability is key. Once there is trust, <strong>and</strong> once the refugee family realizes they are<br />

not alone in having family challenges, conversations about what kind of help the family needs to stay<br />

strong will become much easier.<br />

As sponsored <strong>refugees</strong>, <strong>Colombian</strong>s are conscious that the church is already giving them everything, <strong>and</strong> may<br />

be embarrassed to ask <strong>for</strong> more help such as family counselling, an orientation to family law or simply that<br />

the church coordinate events to help the family get out of the house. Throughout the sponsorship, find ways<br />

to inquire sensitively <strong>and</strong>, if need be, indirectly to the family about how they are doing, <strong>and</strong> how as church<br />

you can support them. Refugee families are deeply appreciative of the support that church community<br />

provides in maintaining <strong>and</strong> strengthening family unity during this challenging time in their lives.<br />

RETURNING TO “NORMAL” AFTER TRAUMATIC EVENTS<br />

Stages of Recovery<br />

Recovering from traumatic experiences is a process that each survivor will go through in their own time<br />

<strong>and</strong> in their own way. While each refugee will follow their own path to healing, at their own speed, in<br />

general the process of recovering from trauma includes three stages: 21<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

Sponsoring churches play a key role in each of these three stages, first of all by opening their community<br />

to the fleeing family as a place of safety <strong>and</strong> refuge, thereby allowing the family to leave behind them<br />

years of instability <strong>and</strong> flight. When <strong>Colombian</strong> <strong>refugees</strong> were asked, pre-departure, what they most<br />

anticipated about life in Canada, their overwhelming response was “safety <strong>and</strong> stability - not having to run<br />

anymore.” The knowledge that that safety <strong>and</strong> stability will be established within the context of a church<br />

that has been waiting <strong>for</strong> them <strong>and</strong> that actually anticipates their arrival is of great meaning to <strong>Colombian</strong><br />

<strong>refugees</strong>. Secondly, the church is an ideal setting <strong>for</strong> <strong>refugees</strong> to go through the stage of remembrance<br />

<strong>and</strong> mourning, since they may not have done so yet. Having a community of faith that creates safe<br />

spaces <strong>for</strong> the refugee family to share their memories <strong>and</strong> release their burdens is truly a life-giving gift.<br />

Finally, the support, encouragement friendships <strong>and</strong> guidance that the church provides is integral to<br />

helping the refugee connect with their new society, rebuild their lives, <strong>for</strong>m new positive identities <strong>and</strong><br />

create <strong>hope</strong> <strong>for</strong> new futures.<br />

21. Herman, J. (1992) Trauma <strong>and</strong> recovery: The aftermath of violence from domestic abuse to political terror. New York, NY: Basic<br />

Books


70<br />

w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

TALKING ABOUT TRAUMA<br />

Remembrance <strong>and</strong> Mourning<br />

Talking to <strong>refugees</strong> about traumatic experiences from their home country may seem like a delicate <strong>and</strong><br />

complicated issue, <strong>and</strong> rightly so. Conversations about past traumas have the potential to heal - or to<br />

re-traumatize.<br />

The church community has great potential to become a healing sanctuary, a space <strong>for</strong> <strong>refugees</strong> to share<br />

their stories in their own time. In a refugee’s own words:<br />

“We were able to share our story with the church <strong>and</strong> not only are we grateful <strong>for</strong> this, but we<br />

were grateful that the people from the church felt solidarity with our suffering.” - José<br />

In fact, <strong>for</strong> <strong>refugees</strong>, talking about their past is an important part of the second stage in recovery from<br />

trauma, remembrance <strong>and</strong> mourning. In the remembrance <strong>and</strong> mourning stage the refugee needs<br />

to come to terms with what happened to them <strong>and</strong> how it has affected their life. By listening to <strong>and</strong><br />

talking with the <strong>refugees</strong> about their losses the church community can provide a safe <strong>and</strong> supportive<br />

environment <strong>for</strong> the family as they go through this stage.<br />

It is generally accepted that being able to talk about painful experiences such as traumatic events is<br />

part of the path to healing. The <strong>Colombian</strong> <strong>refugees</strong> interviewed in the process of making this guide<br />

overwhelmingly agreed that having someone to talk to about their past is or would be important to them<br />

in their journey of recovery from trauma. Some of their comments can be found in the side bars on the<br />

following pages. You don’t have to be a trained psychologist or counsellor to listen to <strong>refugees</strong> tell their<br />

stories <strong>and</strong> respond in a way that promotes healing <strong>and</strong> recovery.<br />

Finding the balance between when <strong>and</strong> how to talk about trauma <strong>and</strong> when to leave the topic alone<br />

will be a process unique to each refugee <strong>and</strong> their sponsoring church. It is good to keep in mind that<br />

while talking about traumatic experiences in a healing way is important, talking about it too much, to the<br />

extent that the conversations become a vicious cycle victimizing the survivor, is not desirable. Making<br />

an intentional ef<strong>for</strong>t to know the refugee’s story <strong>and</strong> to validate their suffering <strong>and</strong> strength is a great<br />

gift. Be<strong>for</strong>e approaching the topic of trauma, it is essential that sincere, trusting <strong>and</strong> mutual relationships<br />

have been built between the refugee family <strong>and</strong> the church members that participate in conversations<br />

about trauma. Without this, the experience of talking about past trauma could put the refugee at risk of<br />

re-traumatization.<br />

Telling their story will take time. While the refugee may yearn to unburden themselves by talking about<br />

their past, they will also need time to build trust with you <strong>and</strong> gather the courage they know it will take<br />

to re-live the painful moments from their past. Their story may come out in bits <strong>and</strong> pieces, over time,<br />

as they feel ready to share different parts with you. Never put them on the spot or <strong>for</strong>ce the refugee<br />

family to tell their story. Open opportunities <strong>for</strong> the family to share their story, but be sensitive to whether<br />

or not they are ready to share <strong>and</strong> respectful of how much they wish to share - let them take the time


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

71<br />

they need. When your questions lead to stilted<br />

answers, it is better not to push farther.<br />

It is probable that conversations about the refugee<br />

family’s past will occur spontaneously, whenever<br />

the refugee family feels ready or feels the need<br />

to share. It is likely that the refugee may feel<br />

most com<strong>for</strong>table, at least initially, talking about<br />

their past in the security of their home <strong>and</strong> in the<br />

presence of one or two trusted people. Once they<br />

begin to trust you with their story, you may be<br />

able to start exploring their interest in sharing with<br />

others in the church as well. Some families may<br />

be very interested in sharing their stories with a<br />

wider audience, while others may prefer not to.<br />

If you sense an interest in sharing their story more<br />

widely, find out what kind of setting in which they<br />

would feel most com<strong>for</strong>table. Would they prefer<br />

to share with a small group? Or would they like to<br />

share their story with a larger audience, perhaps<br />

as special speakers at a church event? What<br />

about through art, music, writing or drama? Some<br />

<strong>refugees</strong> may be glad to share their story openly<br />

<strong>and</strong> publicly, others may wish <strong>for</strong> a more intimate<br />

setting, perhaps in their home. If the church is<br />

interested in having the refugee family share their<br />

story with a group, why not consider a story-circle,<br />

in which not only the refugee family shares their<br />

story, but also other members of the group share<br />

stories of difficult experiences they have lived in<br />

the past as well? This kind of exercise creates a<br />

special sense of unity while humanizing all of the<br />

stories <strong>and</strong> also assuring the <strong>refugees</strong> that they<br />

are not alone.<br />

Because the refugee family likely feels so indebted<br />

to the church, they may feel obliged to accept any<br />

invitation to speak about their past that the church<br />

extends. With the best of intentions, churches can<br />

unintentionally <strong>for</strong>ce the refugee family to revisit<br />

their past be<strong>for</strong>e they are ready, <strong>and</strong> thus cause<br />

“It’s very important that churches<br />

keep in mind that the families need to<br />

talk. It’s good <strong>for</strong> the church to provide<br />

opportunities <strong>for</strong> the families to tell their<br />

stories, to talk about their experiences in<br />

Colombia. I think that churches might<br />

think that people want to <strong>for</strong>get. But <strong>for</strong><br />

us, every time we were invited out <strong>for</strong> a<br />

meal we were asked about our experience.<br />

Talking about our past helped. In our<br />

church there were ten couples that spoke<br />

Spanish, German <strong>and</strong> English. We always<br />

laughed <strong>together</strong>, sometimes they made<br />

mistakes <strong>and</strong> translated into German<br />

rather than English. They compared their<br />

experience of being <strong>refugees</strong> as well. One<br />

man’s entire family had been killed when<br />

he was a little boy. He says he saw how<br />

they took his father <strong>and</strong> he never saw him<br />

again. They talk about the <strong>for</strong>ced work <strong>and</strong><br />

the concentration camps. They say that<br />

they see the reflection of what they lived in<br />

their era in us.”<br />

- Pablo<br />

“It would be very good to be able to talk<br />

to people we trust in, so that they could<br />

help us. Possibly it would let us unload or<br />

unburden ourselves a little, feel some peace.<br />

Maybe the other person could underst<strong>and</strong><br />

a bit more why one is here, the problems<br />

that we had. The problem is the language<br />

barrier.”<br />

- Dora<br />

“Here in the church they haven’t asked me,<br />

but when they ask me I am willing to talk.<br />

I think that it would be beneficial <strong>for</strong> me to<br />

talk to people from my church, to help me<br />

feel more free. Sometimes, from thinking so<br />

much, you feel bad. You need to unburden<br />

yourself, talk about what happened.”<br />

- Sara


72<br />

w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

significant stress to the family. When inviting the refugee family to tell their story to a larger group it could be<br />

a good idea to offer alternatives such as another time or a different setting. That way the family will have a<br />

com<strong>for</strong>table “out” if they are not ready to share their story in the setting you propose. When they are ready<br />

to share their story, make sure you give them enough time - 15 minutes probably won’t be enough.<br />

While the telling of their story holds many benefits <strong>for</strong> the listener, including elements of awareness<br />

raising <strong>and</strong> advocacy, remember that the main reason, at least at first, is that of healing <strong>for</strong> the refugee<br />

family. Always let the family know that their com<strong>for</strong>t <strong>and</strong> their sense of well-being is what is most<br />

important to you.<br />

When opportunities arise to talk with the refugee family about their past <strong>and</strong> the traumatic experiences<br />

they survived, it may be helpful to remind yourself of some of the following pointers: 22<br />

Be<strong>for</strong>e the Conversation: To prepare yourself <strong>for</strong> conversations with the refugee family about difficult<br />

experiences from their past, it will be useful <strong>for</strong> you to learn as much as you can about their country <strong>and</strong><br />

culture. The more you are aware of the history <strong>and</strong> context of their country as well as important elements<br />

of their culture <strong>and</strong> even the process of acculturation during resettlement, the more you will be able to<br />

underst<strong>and</strong> the refugee’s experiences. Use different sources to learn as much as you can - a good place<br />

to begin could be this resource material <strong>and</strong> the websites listed in the resource sections, but don’t <strong>for</strong>get<br />

the best resource - the refugee family itself. Conversations about the good things from home - culture,<br />

traditions, the importance of family, faith, community - will be welcomed <strong>and</strong> are an important balance<br />

to conversations about the difficulties they endured.<br />

“We had a meeting with the church, we sat<br />

in a circle. They made us remember our past,<br />

why we left Colombia. For me it was very<br />

difficult to speak about it. I am so happy here,<br />

I want to <strong>for</strong>get everything. It was really hard<br />

<strong>for</strong> me. When I got home afterwards I felt like<br />

my head exploded I had such a bad headache.<br />

But it is good to talk. It was very good because<br />

the church wanted to get to know us more,<br />

know more about our story. The people who<br />

listened to my story are really supportive to us<br />

<strong>and</strong> are very affectionate to my children.”<br />

- Adriana<br />

Be<strong>for</strong>e entering into conversations about trauma,<br />

be sure that you spend time learning about<br />

who the <strong>refugees</strong> were be<strong>for</strong>e their problems<br />

began. Learning about their lives, their roles<br />

in their communities, their occupations, what<br />

they loved to do <strong>and</strong> what was important to<br />

them is valuable <strong>for</strong> several reasons: this allows<br />

the <strong>refugees</strong> to reflect <strong>and</strong> reconnect with their<br />

past, recognizing <strong>and</strong> valuing where they have<br />

come from <strong>and</strong> who they are, as well as letting<br />

you know more about them as people - not<br />

just <strong>refugees</strong>. These kinds of conversations help<br />

build trust <strong>and</strong> <strong>for</strong>ge lasting relationships, <strong>and</strong><br />

they lay the groundwork <strong>for</strong> later conversations<br />

about traumatic experiences.<br />

22. Adapted from New Neighbours Hidden Scars, chapter 3 <strong>Healing</strong> the Hurt, by Evelyn C. Lennon, MSA, MA. (2005) Minneapolis,<br />

MN: The Centre <strong>for</strong> Victims of Torture, www.ctv.org,


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

73<br />

It is also useful to find out what the refugee family would do to heal from painful experiences in their<br />

home country. Would they seek pastoral accompaniment, would they wish to use music, art or writing,<br />

would they want to talk <strong>and</strong> pray with a friend? It is fine to ask the family if they would like to talk about<br />

what brought them to Canada as <strong>refugees</strong>. Let them know that even if they are not ready to talk at the<br />

moment, that you would be honoured to listen to them if or when they do want to talk about it.<br />

During the Conversation: At the beginning of a conversation about the refugee family’s past, be sure to<br />

let them know what you can do <strong>for</strong> them - <strong>for</strong> example, unless you are a trained counsellor, psychologist<br />

or social worker, some things that you can offer are a listening ear, privacy <strong>and</strong> confidentiality. It is good<br />

to tell the refugee what they can expect from you. You can also let them know that if they feel like they<br />

need more support than you can give, you would be happy to help them find the right person to talk<br />

to. The best support the church can offer is community, however in special cases referral to a counsellor<br />

may be appropriate.<br />

Make sure that the control over the conversation is in the refugee’s h<strong>and</strong>s. For example, let them know<br />

that, should you ask a question that they are not com<strong>for</strong>table answering, they should feel free not to<br />

answer. Ensure that you always provide a com<strong>for</strong>table way out of answering questions. This will provide a<br />

sense of empowerment to the refugee, <strong>and</strong> will allow them to talk about what they need to talk about.<br />

“When a person is<br />

recently arrived,<br />

you talk a lot about<br />

your experiences in<br />

Colombia. But later on<br />

you want to leave all<br />

that behind. Life here is<br />

very calm <strong>and</strong> you want<br />

to <strong>for</strong>get what happened<br />

in Colombia...You get<br />

tired of repeating <strong>and</strong><br />

repeating the negative,<br />

the ugly experiences that<br />

you lived through.”<br />

- Pablo<br />

“The church committee<br />

wanted to know about us.<br />

For us, it was really difficult<br />

to revisit those memories.<br />

We cried. They prayed <strong>for</strong><br />

us, <strong>for</strong> each family. The<br />

girl who was translating<br />

cried too. There were a lot<br />

of emotions. Later when<br />

I see the people from the<br />

committee at church I<br />

feel embarrassed, because<br />

now they know about my<br />

problems. It was recent. It<br />

is like returning to the past.<br />

It would have been good <strong>for</strong><br />

the church to get to know us<br />

a bit more first.”<br />

- Roberto<br />

“I have this idea that one day<br />

I’d like to sit down <strong>and</strong> write a<br />

book about my life. Yes, I’d like<br />

to do that. It would be good to<br />

air out many things from my life,<br />

<strong>and</strong> maybe then I wouldn’t see<br />

them with so much pain. It seems<br />

important to me to talk about<br />

past experiences - everyone has a<br />

different life story.”<br />

- Dora<br />

“Those memories come to us<br />

when we see the tranquility that<br />

there is here - we didn’t have that<br />

in Colombia. With all the good<br />

that has happened to us here, the<br />

bad memories go. With time that<br />

fear <strong>and</strong> the trauma that you have<br />

goes away.”<br />

- Jorge


74<br />

w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

Refugees are trauma survivors, not just victims. As you converse with the refugee family about their<br />

experiences, think of them as survivors. Verbally affirm their strengths (courage, resiliency, faith) rather<br />

than allowing yourself to pity them as victims. Yes, they have gone through experiences that are much<br />

more traumatic than what the average person experiences in a lifetime, however they are also typical<br />

people just like yourself, with great strength, determination <strong>and</strong> abilities.<br />

Remind yourself that simply listening may be one of the greatest <strong>and</strong> most healing gifts that you can<br />

offer a refugee when they are ready to share about their past. Often the best response is to acknowledge<br />

their pain <strong>and</strong> their strength <strong>and</strong> express your thankfulness <strong>and</strong> sense of honour at being entrusted with<br />

their story. Assure them that you will always be willing to listen anytime they want to talk again.<br />

Because of the effects that extreme trauma has on memory, don’t be surprised if the refugee’s story<br />

doesn’t come out in chronological order, if there seem to be gaps in the story, or if you feel as though the<br />

refugee presents different “versions” of the story at different times. Most trauma survivors can’t present<br />

precise accounts of what happened, <strong>and</strong> many remember events differently on different occasions. The<br />

fact that there may appear to be inconsistencies in their story is not reason to be suspicious of its truth. It<br />

is perfectly normal that survivors of war crimes - considered by many to be unspeakable acts - may not<br />

be able to remember or put into words everything that has happened to them.<br />

As the conversation develops, check with the refugee to find out how they are feeling. Allow breaks <strong>and</strong><br />

slow down the conversation if it is getting overly accelerated. Offering something to drink can be a good<br />

way to pause or slow down.<br />

Let the refugee know that you have some underst<strong>and</strong>ing of the history <strong>and</strong> context of their country, of<br />

the effects of war <strong>and</strong> of the experience of refuge. Be prepared to help put the refugee’s problems into<br />

their historical <strong>and</strong> political context. Without justifying anything that they have experienced, explain to<br />

them that human rights violations such as displacements, threats, torture <strong>and</strong> killings are strategic <strong>and</strong><br />

intentional political tools that are carried out with the goal of obtaining power <strong>and</strong> resources.<br />

Admitting one’s problems can bring feelings of shame <strong>and</strong> even guilt to the refugee. If you can, use<br />

pamphlets or other in<strong>for</strong>mation in Spanish to help the refugee underst<strong>and</strong> that their problems are<br />

normal, common <strong>and</strong> expected responses to unnatural situations, <strong>and</strong> that they are temporary <strong>and</strong><br />

solvable. Let the refugee know that seeking help <strong>and</strong> treatment is not only normal, but something that<br />

they deserve. Show your support in helping them find the right person to talk to, be it a spiritual leader,<br />

counsellor, other people who have had similar experiences or even a traditional healer.<br />

After the Conversation: As the conversation about traumatic past events comes to a close, remember<br />

to allow time <strong>for</strong> closure, since the conversation may have been distressing <strong>for</strong> the refugee, potentially<br />

having re-opened old wounds. Since the refugee will be alone with their thoughts <strong>and</strong> memories after<br />

you leave, it is important to find ways to wind down a conversation about trauma, rather than leaving<br />

the conversation at a place where it was focused on the trauma. Talk about the survivor’s strengths,<br />

<strong>and</strong> perhaps take some time to talk about regular topics, such as the day’s activities. Be<strong>for</strong>e ending the


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

75<br />

conversation, make a plan with the refugee <strong>for</strong> self care - what will they do to help relax <strong>and</strong> feel better<br />

after you leave? Make a plan <strong>for</strong> yourself as well.<br />

Remember to take care of yourself during <strong>and</strong> after a conversation about traumatic events. Listening to<br />

the pain of others can often have an impact on oneself. Just as you might realize that the refugee needs<br />

access to a professional counsellor at some point, be sure that you also have access to someone to talk<br />

to, such as a pastor or counsellor, if you realize that you are carrying the weight of the refugee’s story<br />

with you long after the conversation. It is normal <strong>and</strong> healthy to “debrief” after listening to the traumatic<br />

experiences of others, <strong>and</strong> this can be done in ways that respect the confidentiality of the person whose<br />

story you heard while helping ease the burden that you may be feeling.<br />

WHAT SURVIVORS WANT TO SAY TO CLERGY:<br />

A Collection of Feelings Expressed by Survivors of Trauma<br />

Originally titled What Victims Want to Say to Clergy, the following section was compiled after the Oklahoma<br />

City bombings. 23 Relatives of the victims expressed their feelings <strong>and</strong> explained what kind of responses<br />

they would appreciate receiving from pastoral support figures. Their insights <strong>and</strong> wisdom as survivors<br />

of trauma are both applicable <strong>and</strong> valuable <strong>for</strong> church communities that support survivors of refugee<br />

trauma in their path to healing.<br />

Don’t Explain: As deeply as I cry out “Why?” I know there is no rational explanation. My “Why?” is<br />

more a longing <strong>for</strong> God to hold me in His arms <strong>and</strong> give me some com<strong>for</strong>t than it is a question I want<br />

answered. I don’t want you to try to give me answers. What has happened is absurd. It is surely not as<br />

God intended life to be. It doesn’t make sense. God didn’t cause it. It could not have been God’s will.<br />

There<strong>for</strong>e, let us <strong>together</strong> try to explain the cause of the tragedy as factually <strong>and</strong> honestly as possible. I<br />

want God <strong>and</strong> you, as my spiritual leader, to be companions who will st<strong>and</strong> with me in my longing, not<br />

sources of explanation.<br />

Don’t take away my reality: My pain seems unbearable to me <strong>and</strong> yet, in light of what has happened,<br />

it feels right that I should be in pain. I know it is uncom<strong>for</strong>table <strong>for</strong> you. I know you want to take it away.<br />

But you can’t, so please don’t try. The pain is a sign to me of how much I have loved <strong>and</strong> how much I<br />

have lost. If I have doubts, if I am angry, underst<strong>and</strong> that these are normal reactions to a very abnormal<br />

situation. I will not always be like this, but I am now. These are my feelings. Please respect them.<br />

Help me deal with <strong>for</strong>giveness with integrity: Underst<strong>and</strong> that if my faith is important to me, I will<br />

struggle with the issue of <strong>for</strong>giveness. I will remember all the times I’ve been told that I must <strong>for</strong>give. And<br />

yet, something deep within me resists <strong>for</strong>giving someone who has not even said, “I am sorry.”<br />

23. Dr. Richard P. Lord, Courtesy of Colonel Jack O’Brian Poe, D. Min, Chief of Chaplains, Oklahoma City Police Department. What<br />

Victims Want to Say to Clergy. (2004) From the Strategies <strong>for</strong> Trauma Awareness <strong>and</strong> Resilience Program (STAR), Eastern<br />

Mennonite University, Virginia, USA. www.emu.edu/star


76<br />

w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

I wonder if I am the appropriate one to <strong>for</strong>give the person who harmed or injured someone I love. I don’t<br />

feel obligated to <strong>for</strong>give; I don’t even feel that I have the right to <strong>for</strong>give in these circumstances. But yet,<br />

I feel uncom<strong>for</strong>table in my resistance to <strong>for</strong>give.<br />

I am also troubled by the difference between <strong>for</strong>giving <strong>and</strong> <strong>for</strong>getting. I desperately want my loved one<br />

who has been killed or injured to be remembered. I resist anything that threatens the memory of one<br />

who has died. There<strong>for</strong>e, even if I do decide at some point that I can honestly <strong>and</strong> with integrity offer<br />

<strong>for</strong>giveness, please don’t ask me to <strong>for</strong>get what happened. It is impossible to <strong>for</strong>get, <strong>and</strong>, to me, it is very<br />

undesirable as well. Even Jesus said, “Remember me” when he was dying on the cross.<br />

Underst<strong>and</strong> that <strong>for</strong>giveness is far more than just saying three words, “I <strong>for</strong>give you.” If I say the words,<br />

they must be true. I must speak them from the depths of my very soul with absolute integrity. Don’t push<br />

me to say the words just to satisfy you. I can only say them if I come to really mean them.<br />

Stay close: Just as a one year old child learns to walk with someone close by to steady him when he<br />

stumbles, stay close enough so I can reach out <strong>and</strong> steady myself on you when I need to. Underst<strong>and</strong><br />

my need to grieve, my need to withdraw, my need to agonize, but remind me that you’re there to lean<br />

on when I want to share my pain.<br />

Remember me...<strong>for</strong> a long time: This loss will always be a part of me. I’ll need to talk about it <strong>for</strong> years<br />

to come. Most people will be tired of hearing about it after a period of time. Be the person who will invite<br />

me to share my feelings about this after others have moved on to other concerns. If my loved one has<br />

died, mention his or her name from time to time <strong>and</strong> let us remember <strong>together</strong>.<br />

Don’t be frightened of my anger: Anger isn’t nice to be around. But it is part of what I’m feeling now,<br />

<strong>and</strong> I need to be honest about it. I won’t hurt myself or anybody else. I know my anger doesn’t threaten<br />

God. People got angry in the Bible. Even God got angry at certain things. The one to worry about is the<br />

one who has experienced violence but hasn’t become angry.<br />

Listen to my doubt: You st<strong>and</strong> <strong>for</strong> faith, <strong>and</strong> I want you to, but listen to my doubts so you can hear the pain<br />

they express. Like anger, doubt is not pleasant to be around, so people will want to talk me out of it. But <strong>for</strong><br />

right now, let me express the questions which are measured by the depth of the loss I feel. If I can not doubt,<br />

my faith will have no meaning. It is only as I move through doubt that a more meaningful faith will develop.<br />

Be patient: My progress will not be steady. I’ll slip back just when everyone thinks I’m doing so well. Be<br />

one to whom, on occasion, I can reveal my weakness <strong>and</strong> regression. Let me be weak around you <strong>and</strong> not<br />

always strong. I’ll make it, but it will take much longer than most people think. I’ll need your patience.<br />

Remind me this isn’t all there is to life: My pain <strong>and</strong> my questions consume me. Remind me there<br />

is more to life than my underst<strong>and</strong>ing <strong>and</strong> my feelings. Speak the word “God” not to dull my pain but to<br />

affirm life. I don’t want God as an aspirin but as a companion who shares my journey. Stay beside me<br />

<strong>and</strong> remind me of that Eternal Presence which can penetrate even my grief.


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

77<br />

RECONNECTION<br />

Rebuilding lives <strong>and</strong> futures <strong>and</strong> recreating meaning in life: As mentioned at the beginning of<br />

this chapter, there are three key elements in the process of returning to equilibrium after surviving a<br />

traumatic event: establishing safety <strong>and</strong> stabilization, remembrance <strong>and</strong> mourning, <strong>and</strong> reconnection.<br />

This section will take a closer look at ways the the church can support the refugee family in their process<br />

of reconnection - rebuilding their lives <strong>and</strong> future. What follows is a series of ideas <strong>for</strong> activities that<br />

the church can do with the refugee family or encourage the family to do themselves. The suggestions<br />

have been clustered into different topics based on aspects of life that have been found to be helpful<br />

<strong>for</strong> <strong>refugees</strong> as they reconnect <strong>and</strong> rebuild their lives. 24 In order <strong>for</strong> the refugee family to continue on<br />

the path to integration rather than marginalization (see the Phases of Refugee Adjustment, p 30), it is<br />

important <strong>for</strong> the church to support the family in at least some of these ways shortly after their arrival in<br />

Canada. Explore different options to find out which ones the family responds to - just because a certain<br />

suggestion or activity doesn’t work <strong>for</strong> the family doesn’t mean they don’t want to connect.<br />

Building <strong>and</strong> sustaining relationships: Forming <strong>and</strong> maintaining healthy relationships with others is<br />

essential to restoring dignity, value <strong>and</strong> meaning to a refugee’s life. The church community can <strong>and</strong> does<br />

play an invaluable role in helping <strong>refugees</strong> create <strong>and</strong> maintain healthy social connections. The <strong>for</strong>mation<br />

of sincere friendships between members of the congregation <strong>and</strong> the refugee family may well be the<br />

most restorative gift that the church can offer the refugee family. The words of a <strong>Colombian</strong> refugee<br />

demonstrate how essential <strong>and</strong> life-giving relationships with sponsors are:<br />

“Listen to us, accompany us, build relationships, know how we are doing, how we feel, greet us,<br />

give us hugs. Help us to feel welcomed, as though we are at home.” - Ana<br />

24. The suggestions in section have been adapted from Helping Refugee Trauma Survivors in the Primary Care Setting, by David R.<br />

Johnson, MD, MPH, (2005) Minneapolis, MN: Centre <strong>for</strong> Victims of Torture, www.ctv.org


78<br />

w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

<strong>Colombian</strong> Refugees share their<br />

experiences in recovering from trauma<br />

<strong>and</strong> finding meaning:<br />

“Doing my job as a newscaster <strong>and</strong><br />

journalist with enormous quality, with<br />

up-to-date details, <strong>and</strong> expressing myself<br />

in a positive <strong>and</strong> underst<strong>and</strong>able way<br />

gave me great satisfaction in Colombia.<br />

I was happy because the people admired<br />

<strong>and</strong> appreciated me. I had a lot of great<br />

friendships <strong>and</strong> I was known all over the<br />

country. Here in Canada I participate in<br />

a Vallenato Orchestra. I distract myself<br />

a bit, meet up with other people, lose<br />

myself in the music. I play accordion<br />

even though I never played it be<strong>for</strong>e -<br />

but I can do it! I’m also the referee <strong>for</strong><br />

a Latin American football league. It’s a<br />

good way to get recreation. Next year<br />

I’m going to be secretary <strong>for</strong> the league to<br />

help them with organization, statistics,<br />

so they can see how the games are going<br />

- who is the best player, who is winning.<br />

Other things that help me feel satisfied<br />

are my work, my studies, <strong>and</strong> doing<br />

everything that I do to my very best.”<br />

- Carlos<br />

“First of all it is one’s family that makes<br />

you feel alive, that supports you <strong>and</strong><br />

gives you ideas. Second are your friends,<br />

<strong>and</strong> third is being able to study <strong>and</strong> move<br />

ahead with life.I don’t think I’ve gotten to<br />

the stage of feeling satisfaction in my life<br />

in Canada yet. First of all we are hoping<br />

to find satisfaction in being able to speak<br />

English - to feel much better <strong>and</strong> be able<br />

to go out. Later we would like to enter<br />

university <strong>and</strong> finish our studies, <strong>and</strong><br />

later be able to have a good job <strong>and</strong> <strong>for</strong><br />

my family to be independent.”<br />

- Jorge<br />

Some ideas that have worked well <strong>for</strong> building these<br />

relationships include organizing different families from<br />

the church who will be willing to invite the family over<br />

<strong>for</strong> dinner or take them on outings around town <strong>and</strong><br />

celebrate birthdays, important holidays <strong>and</strong> other<br />

special occasions <strong>together</strong>. Ensure that refugee youth<br />

are included in church youth group activities <strong>and</strong> plug<br />

the refugee parents into a weekly care group, small<br />

group or Bible study. Showing a genuine interest in the<br />

refugee family as people (not victims) <strong>and</strong> friends is<br />

often all it takes to construct relationships that are lifegiving<br />

on both sides, <strong>and</strong> could carry on long after the<br />

sponsorship is over.<br />

Other ideas <strong>for</strong> <strong>for</strong>ming social connections include<br />

helping the refugee family connect with local cultural<br />

organizations, community support groups, refugee<br />

organizations or other community groups such as<br />

community or church sports teams or community music<br />

or dance groups.<br />

Keep in mind that <strong>Colombian</strong> <strong>refugees</strong> may not always<br />

want relationships with other <strong>Colombian</strong>s. Be<strong>for</strong>e<br />

you arrange <strong>for</strong> the refugee family to meet other<br />

<strong>Colombian</strong>s in your community that they don’t have a<br />

prior relationship with, check in with the family to find<br />

out how they feel about this. Because of the complex<br />

nature of the armed conflict, victims of different groups<br />

may look at one another with suspicion - <strong>Colombian</strong><br />

<strong>refugees</strong> will not automatically trust one another. Many<br />

<strong>Colombian</strong> <strong>refugees</strong> in Canada end up feeling more<br />

com<strong>for</strong>table <strong>and</strong> building supportive relationships with<br />

people from other Latin American countries rather than<br />

with other <strong>Colombian</strong>s.<br />

Clearly, challenges will be present, the obvious ones<br />

being language <strong>and</strong> cultural differences. Even though<br />

a language barrier may exist, the refugee family will<br />

feel loved <strong>and</strong> appreciated by the ef<strong>for</strong>ts the church<br />

makes to include them, even when sign language<br />

may be the only means of communication at first. An<br />

ongoing challenge that <strong>refugees</strong> face in building social


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

79<br />

“In Colombia, helping people, working in the children’s<br />

feeding centre, brought meaning to my life. The women’s<br />

group that I helped lead was important <strong>for</strong> me. I don’t<br />

believe that I have found satisfaction in my life in Canada<br />

yet. There isn’t really anything that fills me spiritually.<br />

Even though I have stability, the most important things<br />

are not the material things. The most important is to be<br />

able to go <strong>and</strong> help others. To discover the stories of those<br />

women’s lives. I think that until I know English I may<br />

not find satisfaction in my life here...no. I would like to<br />

support a community where I could be useful. Here in<br />

the church they have spoken about volunteer work that<br />

people do in India...there have been times when I have<br />

said to my self ‘if God permits me, I would like to do<br />

voluntary work.’ It would be a very important experience,<br />

to meet with people who need you.”<br />

- Dora<br />

“I’d like to create an organization in<br />

Canada that would think about the people<br />

that are being victimized in Colombia. I’m<br />

not sure how or even what the Canadian<br />

laws are <strong>and</strong> if I’d be allowed to do<br />

something like that. But it’s something I’m<br />

thinking about.”<br />

- David<br />

“I feel happy when I’m in church. On<br />

Sundays when I’m at church - I don’t<br />

underst<strong>and</strong> the English yet - but when<br />

they worship God, I feel really happy<br />

during the worship. I feel happy in the<br />

church because I have many friends there.<br />

I go to a Spanish Bible Study <strong>for</strong> an hour<br />

be<strong>for</strong>e the service <strong>and</strong> I feel happy there.”<br />

- Adriana<br />

“The church picks up the youth every<br />

wednesday <strong>for</strong> a youth activity - it’s been<br />

really good <strong>for</strong> me, it has helped me to be<br />

less shy <strong>and</strong> to relate to others.”<br />

- Cecilia<br />

connections includes the sense of isolation that they will feel in Canada. Many <strong>Colombian</strong> <strong>refugees</strong> may<br />

have lived with extended family members be<strong>for</strong>e displacement, however in Canada they are separated<br />

from remaining family; some may have even been killed. Cold weather, transportation problems <strong>and</strong><br />

Canadian individualistic culture also present challenges <strong>for</strong> <strong>for</strong>ming relationships. Other challenges that<br />

may be harder to overcome are more subtle: <strong>refugees</strong>’ trust in other human beings has often been<br />

eroded by their past experiences. Trusting again, especially strangers, may be a frightening leap of faith<br />

<strong>for</strong> many <strong>refugees</strong>. Nonetheless, <strong>Colombian</strong> <strong>refugees</strong> that are sponsored by a church community often<br />

come with a sense of confidence that they will be able to trust in the church community, <strong>and</strong> this is a gift<br />

<strong>for</strong> both the church <strong>and</strong> the refugee family as they set out constructing friendships <strong>together</strong>.<br />

Rediscovering innate strength <strong>and</strong> resiliency: Refugees are incredibly strong people, having<br />

protected their families <strong>and</strong> navigated through <strong>for</strong>eign systems or countries on their path to refuge.<br />

Nonetheless, in the midst of the burden of their loss they may <strong>for</strong>get how strong <strong>and</strong> resilient they<br />

actually are. Feelings of guilt regarding their inability to prevent what has happened to them along with<br />

the humiliation <strong>and</strong> setbacks they suffer in adjusting to a new <strong>and</strong> confusing cultural context can create<br />

misleading feelings of inadequacy or weakness. Rediscovering their own innate strength <strong>and</strong> resiliency


80<br />

w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

can be an important step in the refugee’s path to integrating <strong>and</strong> recovering <strong>hope</strong> <strong>for</strong> the future. When<br />

you talk to the refugee, be it about their past, the present or their <strong>hope</strong>s <strong>and</strong> dreams, help them to see<br />

how strong <strong>and</strong> competent they really were - <strong>and</strong> still are. Affirm their resiliency <strong>and</strong> encourage them<br />

to reflect on their strengths <strong>and</strong> past achievements. Focusing on strengths rather than weaknesses<br />

promotes healing, <strong>and</strong> is also a good way <strong>for</strong> you to learn about the refugee’s life be<strong>for</strong>e the trauma.<br />

Faith <strong>and</strong> Spirituality: <strong>Colombian</strong> <strong>refugees</strong> <strong>and</strong> displaced people repeatedly attribute their survival <strong>and</strong><br />

ability to carry on despite all odds to their faith in God <strong>and</strong> divine protection. Faith <strong>and</strong> spiritual practices<br />

have been found to be very meaningful <strong>for</strong> trauma survivors as they cope with trauma symptoms <strong>and</strong><br />

journey towards restoration. As a church, you have so much to offer in this area. Participating in services,<br />

small groups, Bible studies, prayer meetings, worshiping <strong>together</strong> <strong>and</strong> having personal visits with pastors<br />

or church ministry leaders can be life-giving <strong>for</strong> the refugee as they process their trauma <strong>and</strong> the stresses<br />

of fitting into a new world. Intentionally invite members of the refugee family to participate in any of<br />

the above-mentioned activities. If the refugee family has a church background <strong>and</strong> expresses that they<br />

would feel com<strong>for</strong>table, take time to pray with the refugee family. Even when the language barrier still<br />

exists, the experience of praying <strong>together</strong> will likely be welcomed <strong>and</strong> greatly appreciated by the family.<br />

Perhaps you could find out if devotional material or books or recordings on themes related to faith <strong>and</strong><br />

spirituality are available in Spanish in the local library or in church libraries in your community <strong>and</strong> could<br />

be lent to the refugee family.<br />

Finding new meaning in life: Refugees who have suffered the traumas of the loss of their livelihood,<br />

home, family members, culture <strong>and</strong> country may often experience a loss of meaning in life. The<br />

overwhelming task of fitting in to a new society, <strong>for</strong>ming a new identity, <strong>and</strong> coping with the fact that<br />

they will not likely be able to practice their same profession or trade as be<strong>for</strong>e can add to their sense<br />

of <strong>hope</strong>lessness. In the face of these challenges, the church community can be an important source of<br />

support to the refugee family, helping them find ways to recreate meaning in their lives. Churches are<br />

ideal locations from which <strong>refugees</strong> can participate in purpose-giving activities such as volunteerism,<br />

political advocacy, giving talks on their experiences or helping to ease the suffering of others. These<br />

activities can all help trauma survivors rebuild a sense of purpose in life.<br />

Helping others: Studies have shown that helping others has a distinct healing effect on oneself. In his<br />

book The <strong>Healing</strong> Power of Doing Good 25 Allen Luks explains the results of his studies on the reciprocal<br />

relationship between helping others <strong>and</strong> good health. Some of his most significant findings include the<br />

following:<br />

<br />

<br />

the effects of even serious psychological <strong>and</strong> physical diseases <strong>and</strong> disorders.<br />

25. Luks, A., (2001) The <strong>Healing</strong> Power of Doing Good: The Health <strong>and</strong> Spiritual Benefits of Helping Others. New York, NY:<br />

iUniverse. http://allanluks.com/home, http://www.melbabenson.com/articles_files/<strong>Healing</strong>%20Power%20of%20Doing%20<br />

Good.pdf,


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

81<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

“helper’s high” after per<strong>for</strong>ming a kind act<br />

involves physical sensations<br />

<strong>and</strong> the release of the body’s natural<br />

painkillers, endorphins. The initial rush is<br />

followed by a longer period of calm <strong>and</strong><br />

improved emotional well-being.<br />

<br />

return <strong>for</strong> hours or even days whenever the<br />

helping act is remembered.<br />

<br />

after per<strong>for</strong>ming kind acts. Helping others<br />

reverses feelings of depression, supplies<br />

social contact <strong>and</strong> reduces feelings of<br />

hostility <strong>and</strong> isolation that can cause stress,<br />

overeating, ulcers etc.<br />

<br />

self-worth <strong>and</strong> emotional resilience <strong>and</strong><br />

vigour <strong>and</strong> can reduce the unhealthy<br />

senses of isolation, depression <strong>and</strong><br />

helplessness.<br />

Studies, employment <strong>and</strong> hobbies: For their first year in Canada, most <strong>refugees</strong> will be involved in<br />

language study <strong>and</strong> to some extent, their first experience in the Canadian workplace. For some survivors<br />

of refugee trauma, meeting the dem<strong>and</strong>s of study <strong>and</strong> or work may be difficult, however both activities<br />

help add structure to daily life. Although occasionally it might be necessary <strong>for</strong> a recently arrived refugee to<br />

refrain from both study <strong>and</strong> work in order to recover from trauma or unexpected psychological setbacks,<br />

in most cases extended disability status is usually not helpful <strong>for</strong> recovery from trauma. Without a routine,<br />

<strong>refugees</strong>, like the rest of us, can begin to feel disconnected from the world <strong>and</strong> may find themselves<br />

with too much time on their h<strong>and</strong>s <strong>for</strong> dwelling on their grief. The challenge of being without a routine is<br />

something that churches can help their refugee family avoid by ensuring that they get involved in language<br />

studies <strong>and</strong> guiding them in their search <strong>for</strong> employment at appropriate stages of the sponsorship.<br />

During the summer months, when free time tends to be ample <strong>for</strong> newly arrived <strong>refugees</strong>, churches<br />

can ensure that the refugee family is included in any summer church activities such as children’s clubs,<br />

church camp or picnics as well as organizing families in the church to extend invitations to the refugee<br />

family <strong>for</strong> special outings or events such as local festivals or fairs. Hobbies can also provide survivors with<br />

a sense of purpose in life <strong>and</strong> offer opportunities <strong>for</strong> socialization. If you become aware of hobbies that<br />

the refugee has enjoyed in the past, such as sewing, sketching or playing an instrument, help them find<br />

the tools <strong>and</strong> supplies they need to be able to continue on with their hobby in Canada. Creative activities<br />

such as painting, drawing, writing, music or poetry can help the refugee not only to find new purpose but<br />

also to express feelings <strong>and</strong> process past experiences. Your church refugee support group can find out if<br />

the refugee you have sponsored would be interested in any of these activities, <strong>and</strong> help get started.


82<br />

w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

Planning <strong>for</strong> the future: One of the most important aspects of healing from trauma involves survivors<br />

shifting their attention from the traumatic events to a focus on the present <strong>and</strong> planning <strong>for</strong> the future. As<br />

your relationship with the refugee family deepens, discover what dreams <strong>and</strong> goals they have, both <strong>for</strong><br />

the short term <strong>and</strong> the long term. If they are unable to <strong>for</strong>mulate goals, spend some time talking <strong>together</strong><br />

<strong>and</strong> helping them discover their <strong>hope</strong>s <strong>and</strong> goals. Help them to find a balance between realistic goals<br />

<strong>and</strong> not becoming overwhelmed or discouraged by goals that take a longer time to reach. As a church<br />

you can play an integral role in encouraging <strong>and</strong> supporting members of the refugee family to work<br />

towards their goals, whether they are small goals, like getting a guitar <strong>and</strong> bringing music back into their<br />

life, or larger goals such as getting a job or writing their life story. As <strong>refugees</strong> identify <strong>and</strong> work towards<br />

their goals a sense of meaning <strong>and</strong> control over their life will return.<br />

Physical exercise: For many <strong>Colombian</strong> <strong>refugees</strong>, physical exercise was part of daily life: physical labour<br />

such as farm work, construction or walking many kilometers a day would have been commonplace,<br />

especially <strong>for</strong> <strong>refugees</strong> from rural settings. Even in Colombia’s cities many displaced people find themselves<br />

walking or biking long distances since they can’t af<strong>for</strong>d to pay <strong>for</strong> public transportation. In Canadian cities,<br />

physical exertion is not necessarily part of daily life, <strong>and</strong> as a result <strong>refugees</strong> in Canada often live a rather<br />

sedentary life compared to the amount of physical activity in which they had previously engaged. As the<br />

refugee’s support group, you can help your refugee family learn about the physical <strong>and</strong> mental benefits<br />

of intentionally taking daily exercise: let them know that refugee trauma survivors who are physically<br />

active have reported that they sleep better, have more energy, enjoy better moods <strong>and</strong> an overall sense<br />

of wellbeing. The refugee family will likely need your help <strong>and</strong> encouragement to discover ways to stay<br />

physically active in their new environment. Consider having different families from the church invite the<br />

refugee family to accompany them as they participate in different physical activities: swimming at the<br />

local pool, using the local gym, participating in different classes or activities at the community recreation<br />

center. Perhaps you could help connect members of the refugee family with community sports groups<br />

such as soccer teams. Invite them to join you on walks or jogs in local parks.<br />

Find different ways to relax: It sounds like common sense that relaxing can help trauma survivors<br />

cope with trauma symptoms; however, we all sometimes need to be reminded to take time to relax. It<br />

may be helpful <strong>for</strong> you to talk to the refugee family about this <strong>and</strong> help them find ways to intentionally<br />

relax. There are many different, simple activities that you could suggest to help promote relaxation:<br />

drinking tea, listening to calming music or dancing to latin music, reading a book, taking walks, gardening,<br />

caring <strong>for</strong> a pet, taking a warm bath, lighting c<strong>and</strong>les, getting a massage or practicing meditative prayer<br />

such as centering prayer, to name only a few.<br />

Just as it is important <strong>for</strong> each of us to know what helps us relax (<strong>and</strong> most likely we do know), it is<br />

useful <strong>for</strong> the members of the refugee family to find out what they can do to relax. It is likely that the<br />

members of the refugee family know what they like to do to relax - they surely found ways to relax be<strong>for</strong>e<br />

their refugee journey began. However, they may need your encouragement to get started again, or to<br />

discover new ways that they can relax <strong>and</strong> release new tensions here in Canada. Have someone from<br />

the refugee support group talk to the family about ways in which they would like to relax: find out what<br />

helped them relax in the past <strong>and</strong> what they would like to do now, perhaps giving them some new ideas.


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

83<br />

If they need any supplies (such as relaxing music, tea, latin music, books in their language), find ways<br />

to connect them with what they need. If they are interested in learning about centering prayer or other<br />

calming prayer techniques as a way to relax, perhaps you could find someone from church with a prayer<br />

ministry who would be willing to guide <strong>and</strong> accompany them, at least to begin.<br />

Other alternatives include yoga <strong>and</strong> tai chi, which both promote muscle relaxation. Community centres<br />

often offer classes in these activities, <strong>and</strong> may also offer “relaxation sessions” that use guided imagery,<br />

breathing exercises <strong>and</strong> gentle touch. If anyone from your church already participates in any of these<br />

classes, be sure to invite members from the refugee family along. If not, it would still be worthwhile<br />

to find out what is available <strong>and</strong> whether the refugee family would be interested. Another possibility is<br />

providing the family with relaxation CDs, which are often available through health care providers or even<br />

the local library.<br />

As <strong>refugees</strong> adjust to life in Canada they will regularly encounter new <strong>and</strong> stressful situations. At the same<br />

time, they are dealing with painful memories <strong>and</strong> anxieties from their past. It may be encouraging <strong>for</strong> the<br />

refugee family to know that by intentionally taking time daily, or as often as possible, to do something<br />

relaxing, they can actually reduce their stress <strong>and</strong> begin to feel a sense of balance <strong>and</strong> wellbeing again.<br />

Be aware of what doesn’t help: Sometimes <strong>refugees</strong> find themselves, inadvertently or intentionally,<br />

in situations that negatively affect their ability to heal from trauma <strong>and</strong> reconstruct their lives in Canada.<br />

Certain challenges are inevitable. For example, anniversaries of traumatic incidents such as dates of <strong>for</strong>ced<br />

displacements, attempts against their lives or deaths of family members are often accompanied by a surge<br />

of trauma symptoms. Similarly, anything that reminds a refugee of a distressing memory from their past -<br />

an object, a face or voice that is similar to that of someone who hurt them, being asked questions by an<br />

authority figure, or even seeing a motorcycle or car of a certain color - can bring on the feelings <strong>and</strong> reactions<br />

they had when the original event occurred. While it is underst<strong>and</strong>able that the <strong>Colombian</strong> <strong>refugees</strong> may<br />

want to follow the news coverage of their home country as much as possible, is is also possible that the<br />

events they watch on TV could cause upsetting reminders of their own past. While the church can’t prevent<br />

any of these situations from arising, it is important <strong>for</strong> the church refugee committee to be aware of the<br />

potential impacts of these different trauma reminders, <strong>and</strong> to be there <strong>for</strong> the family to com<strong>for</strong>t them <strong>and</strong><br />

to let them know that what is happening to them is normal. See the section on flashbacks (p 63) <strong>for</strong> more<br />

details <strong>and</strong> in<strong>for</strong>mation to help the refugee underst<strong>and</strong> what they are experiencing.<br />

Other obstacles that the refugee may face in their journey to restoration <strong>and</strong> rebuilding their lives are avoidable.<br />

For instance, regularly watching violent TV programs or movies could reactivate traumatic memories. Since is<br />

possible that the refugee family may not be aware of the impact that seeing violence on TV could have on<br />

them, it could be worth while to encourage them to avoid such programs, explaining why.<br />

Occasionally refugee trauma survivors, even those sponsored by churches, will turn to alcohol <strong>and</strong><br />

drugs as a mechanism to cope with issues such as sleep problems, anxiety, recurrent painful memories<br />

or <strong>hope</strong>lessness. Obviously, alcohol <strong>and</strong> drug dependency will have a harmful long term impact on<br />

the refugee, causing yet another layer of problems to be dealt with <strong>and</strong> slowing overall healing <strong>and</strong>


84<br />

w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

integration. Nonetheless, if a refugee has turned to alcohol <strong>and</strong> drugs, it is likely because that option<br />

seemed helpful at the time.<br />

Another unhealthy coping strategy that is often employed by people who have experienced refugee<br />

trauma is that of intentional isolation. After being subjected to such painful experiences by other human<br />

beings, the ability to trust <strong>and</strong> to open up to social contact <strong>and</strong> new friendships can be challenging,<br />

leading some <strong>refugees</strong> to choose to isolate themselves. Clearly, isolation is problematic: it provides<br />

excess time to dwell on the past, limits chances <strong>for</strong> positive <strong>and</strong> healing interactions, <strong>and</strong> stunts the<br />

process of integration <strong>and</strong> reconstructing life. As a church, the way in which you walk with, befriend,<br />

include, encourage <strong>and</strong> guide the refugee family will make a world of difference, <strong>and</strong> will likely be all it<br />

takes to keep them from turning to unhealthy coping strategies such as these.<br />

REFUGEE TRAUMA & HEALING<br />

For more in<strong>for</strong>mation on refugee trauma <strong>and</strong> healing, the following are some useful resources:<br />

The Little Book of Trauma <strong>Healing</strong>: When Violence Strikes <strong>and</strong> Community is Threatened. Editors: Carolyn Yoder & Howard<br />

Zehr. This book, from the Little Books of Justice <strong>and</strong> Peacebuilding series, is easily read <strong>and</strong> an indispensable resource to have on h<strong>and</strong>.<br />

It should be available through your local MCC <strong>for</strong> borrowing.<br />

David Baldwin’s Trauma In<strong>for</strong>mation Pages. An award winning site with resources <strong>for</strong> people working with trauma survivors.<br />

http://www.trauma-pages.com.<br />

Sidran Institute: Traumatic Stress Education. Articles, links <strong>and</strong> tools <strong>for</strong> therapists, faith based caregivers, survivors <strong>and</strong><br />

loved ones. http://www.sidran.org.<br />

International Society <strong>for</strong> Traumatic Stress Studies. Trauma Resources section contains articles, fact sheets <strong>and</strong> videos about<br />

traumatic stress <strong>for</strong> caregivers <strong>and</strong> professionals. http://www.istss.org.<br />

Canadian Centre <strong>for</strong> Victims of Torture. Online <strong>and</strong> print resources on trauma, torture <strong>and</strong> accompanying survivors.<br />

http://www.ccvt.org.<br />

STAR toolkit from Eastern Mennonite University. Easily understood, printable resources <strong>for</strong> people who support trauma survivors.<br />

http://www.emu.edu/cjp/pti/star/toolkit/.<br />

The Center <strong>for</strong> Victims of Torture. The resources section has a series of excellent publications on refugee trauma healing.<br />

http://www.cvt.org/.<br />

Children’s Hospital Boston, Centre <strong>for</strong> Refugee Trauma <strong>and</strong> Resilience, Refugee Services Toolkit. A web-based tool<br />

designed to help caregivers underst<strong>and</strong> the experiences <strong>and</strong> needs of refugee children <strong>and</strong> families.<br />

http://www.chcrtr.org/toolkit/.<br />

Boston Center <strong>for</strong> Refugee Health <strong>and</strong> Human Rights. This site offers a free online course on caring <strong>for</strong> torture survivors.<br />

http://www.bcrhhr.org/.<br />

Stress <strong>and</strong> Trauma <strong>Healing</strong>: A Manual <strong>for</strong> Caregivers. Authors: Karl <strong>and</strong> Evelyn Bartsch. This excellent manual covers both<br />

the process by which victims become survivors <strong>and</strong> the process by which they themselves may become healers or caregivers<br />

<strong>for</strong> others. It is useful <strong>for</strong> faith based small group settings. Available through the Mennonite Church Resource Library (ID 8650) <strong>and</strong><br />

may be downloaded from the MCC Resources <strong>for</strong> Trauma <strong>Healing</strong> <strong>and</strong> Community Recovery website:<br />

http://healingtrauma.pdd.mcc.org/


Planning <strong>and</strong> Organizing<br />

<strong>for</strong> Action<br />

This section is intended as a complement to the previous chapters. It is provided in the spirit of<br />

suggestion, as a resource to supplement the other planning processes you are already engaged<br />

in as you prepare <strong>for</strong> the arrival of the refugee family. Even if the family has already arrived <strong>and</strong> the<br />

sponsorship is well underway, you may still find some useful ideas in this section.<br />

The following pages contain questions <strong>and</strong> ideas to assist your church in the process of planning how<br />

you will accompany the refugee family in a variety of areas related to healing from trauma:<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

<br />

As you read on, be encouraged that your church will be a wonderful resource <strong>for</strong> <strong>refugees</strong> <strong>and</strong> has great<br />

potential to play an important role in your sponsored refugee family’s journey of healing <strong>and</strong> belonging.<br />

Photo by George Deguire, used with permission.


86<br />

w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

LISTENING AND ACCOMPANIMENT<br />

It is important <strong>for</strong> the church refugee support group to plan <strong>for</strong> how they will listen to the family. Although<br />

the family may not want to talk about their story right away, they must know that there will always be<br />

someone available to listen to them, whenever they need to talk. The church refugee committee should<br />

be prepared to listen not only to their story from Colombia, but also be there to listen to the challenges,<br />

frustrations <strong>and</strong> disappointments that the family experiences as they adjust to life in Canada - <strong>and</strong> let<br />

them know that everything they are experiencing is normal.<br />

Sometimes when one hears the problems or pains of others, one wants to help fix them. That is not<br />

the purpose of this type of listening. The goal is to simply be present, consistent <strong>and</strong> open as you listen<br />

to the troubles of the refugee family, without trying to “fix” their pain or problems. It is only the refugee<br />

family themselves that can do the work of “fixing” <strong>and</strong> healing. Listening is an extremely important way<br />

in which the church can support the family in their personal work of healing.<br />

As you consider this topic, it may be helpful to refer back to the sections Talking about Trauma, What<br />

Survivors Want to Say to Clergy, <strong>and</strong> Underst<strong>and</strong>ing our Differences.<br />

Some questions to help guide your planning process:<br />

1. Who will be intentionally available to listen to the refugee family?<br />

2. How will you let the family know who is available, <strong>and</strong> that someone is willing to listen to<br />

them anytime <strong>and</strong> about anything?<br />

3. What kind of initiative will the “listener(s)” take to ensure the families are given<br />

opportunities to be listened to?<br />

4. Remember that speaking on the telephone is often one of the hardest things <strong>for</strong> a<br />

new language learner to do. In addition, phones may actually generate fear <strong>for</strong> some<br />

<strong>Colombian</strong> <strong>refugees</strong> at first, because of the many times they may have been threatened<br />

over the phone or because of fear of their conversations being tapped. Giving the<br />

refugee family your phone number <strong>and</strong> hoping they will call may not be an optimal<br />

strategy <strong>for</strong> finding out when they need to talk. (Touching base in person will be more<br />

effective.)<br />

5. How will you address issues of confidentiality, if the family tells you things that they <strong>hope</strong><br />

you won’t pass on?<br />

6. Will language barriers be an issue? If so, how will you resolve this? Where can you find<br />

appropriate interpreters? For example, in a casual setting such as supper with the family,<br />

it might be nice to have an acquaintance interpret. In a more <strong>for</strong>mal setting, such as<br />

a meeting with the refugee committee <strong>and</strong> the family, it would be important to use<br />

an experienced interpreter. Don’t <strong>for</strong>get to go over the Guidelines <strong>for</strong> Working with<br />

Interpreters in Appendix two if you use an “in house” interpreter.<br />

7. What kind of spaces will you use to listen to the family? In their home? At the church? In<br />

church member’s homes?


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

87<br />

Some ideas:<br />

1. Would each member of the church refugee sponsorship committee consider inviting the<br />

family to their home <strong>for</strong> a meal <strong>and</strong> using it as a time to get to know <strong>and</strong> listen to the<br />

family? Ask them about their country, culture etc. Listen <strong>and</strong> discern what the family feels<br />

com<strong>for</strong>table talking about, <strong>and</strong> go from there.<br />

2. If you sense that any member of the refugee family needs to be listened to by a<br />

professional counsellor or psychologist, make sure that you let the person know where<br />

the services are available, <strong>and</strong> that it is not something to be ashamed about. Encourage<br />

them to connect to such a resource.<br />

NARRATIVES - THE HEALING STORY<br />

This section is complementary to the previous section on listening, but focuses specifically on giving the<br />

family opportunity to share their story (not their current difficulties or problems, but rather their life story).<br />

As you consider how you can provide safe environments <strong>for</strong> your refugee to heal through the telling of<br />

their story, it might be helpful to refer back to the section Talking about Trauma. Pay special attention to<br />

what <strong>refugees</strong> said about their experiences of telling - or wanting to tell - their stories.<br />

Several <strong>refugees</strong> interviewed mentioned<br />

the idea of wanting to share their story<br />

with the church or even with a wider<br />

audience, <strong>and</strong> their <strong>hope</strong>s that in sharing<br />

their story, they might be freed from<br />

some of the painful burden that they still<br />

carry. Although almost all the interviewed<br />

<strong>refugees</strong> agreed that telling their story<br />

there story would be a helpful way to<br />

deal with part of their trauma, several<br />

also alluded to the pain <strong>and</strong> humiliation<br />

that storytelling can bring if not done in a<br />

safe <strong>and</strong> nurturing environment.<br />

Because of both the potential <strong>for</strong> healing<br />

of story telling <strong>and</strong> the potential <strong>for</strong> pain<br />

<strong>and</strong> even embarrassment, it is important<br />

that the church refugee sponsorship<br />

committee think of ways in which they<br />

could support the refugee family in<br />

telling their story in a healing way <strong>and</strong><br />

safe atmosphere.<br />

“The church doesn’t know much about the details,<br />

they don’t know my situation in depth...I’d like to<br />

write something in English, I’d like to write a letter<br />

to be read in the church. I’d like to share my story.”<br />

- Carlos<br />

“It’s good <strong>for</strong> the church to provide opportunities<br />

<strong>for</strong> the families to tell their stories, to talk about<br />

their experiences in Colombia.... Actually, we were<br />

asked if they could write a book about our lives.<br />

We said yes, as long as they changed our names<br />

<strong>and</strong> the place where we came from.”<br />

- Pablo


88<br />

w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

As you talk about how this could be done, here are some questions<br />

to help guide your planning process:<br />

Some ideas:<br />

1. Do any members of the refugee committee have ideas or have they ever had good<br />

experiences where they were able to tell difficult stories from their past to others? In what<br />

kind of setting did this take place? With whom were they talking?<br />

2. Put yourself in the shoes of the refugee family. In what kind of atmosphere would the<br />

committee members feel com<strong>for</strong>table telling their own stories?<br />

3. How can you create a “safe space” <strong>for</strong> the refugee family in which to tell their story?<br />

4. If you were to invite them to tell their story in church, what are some possible scenarios?<br />

Small groups? Sunday morning service? Church retreat? Christmas banquet, relating their<br />

story to Jesus as a refugee?<br />

1. How about organizing a “story-circle” activity, with the refugee family <strong>and</strong> members<br />

of the refugee committee <strong>and</strong> church community that the family has come to trust.<br />

Instead of just inviting the family to tell their story, each person in the circle could have<br />

an opportunity to talk about their story. This kind of activity acknowledges that each<br />

person has a valuable story <strong>and</strong> helps vulnerable <strong>refugees</strong> feel less alone.<br />

2. There are different ways of telling stories: talking, writing, painting, composing music,<br />

theatre, silent pantomime <strong>and</strong> even dance. Find out which ways are of interest to the<br />

refugee family <strong>and</strong> encourage them to pursue whichever one they find most appealing.<br />

Support them if they need supplies or an audience. Writing doesn’t necessarily mean<br />

a book - what about an article <strong>for</strong> a church publication or local magazine? Changing<br />

names will likely be appealing to the family, should their story ever get published.<br />

3. Be sensitive about the timing if you are planning to invite the refugee to tell their<br />

story to an audience in a church setting. Give the refugee family time to build trusting<br />

relationships be<strong>for</strong>e inviting to tell their story. Be aware that they may not feel able to<br />

decline the invitation even if they don’t feel ready or com<strong>for</strong>table telling their story. Since<br />

they depend on the church <strong>for</strong> everything saying “no” to the church may be difficult.<br />

4. If the family wants to share, give them time to do so! Make sure that you allow sufficient<br />

time, as it is important that they are able to reach a satisfactory conclusion <strong>and</strong> that their<br />

story isn’t cut short.<br />

5. Find ways to encourage the refugee to focus on their strengths as they tell their story,<br />

not just on the difficulties, but also on how they were strong enough to carry on, protect<br />

their family, <strong>and</strong> seek help.


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

89<br />

FAMILY STRENGTHENING<br />

Underst<strong>and</strong>ing that the refugee family you sponsor has experienced <strong>and</strong> will continue to experience<br />

major stress as a family unit is an important starting place <strong>for</strong> planning how to support <strong>and</strong> strengthen<br />

them as a family once they arrive to your community. Family struggles within the refugee family is<br />

an area where the church has the opportunity to play a critical role, offering counsel, guidance <strong>and</strong><br />

encouragement to the family.<br />

As you think about this topic, it may be helpful to refer to the section Effects of Refugee Trauma on the<br />

Family.<br />

Some questions to guide you as you think about how you can support<br />

the family to stay strong.<br />

Some ideas:<br />

1. Is there anyone in your church or community that specializes in family counselling? What<br />

about a counsellor that speaks their language <strong>and</strong> is culturally sensitive? Could you go to<br />

them if the family needed specialized guidance? Ask your local MCC Refugee Coordinator<br />

about possibilities <strong>for</strong> provincial funding <strong>for</strong> this kind of counselling in your area.<br />

2. Who will take responsibility <strong>for</strong> talking openly to the family about their needs, challenges<br />

<strong>and</strong> struggles as a family <strong>and</strong> <strong>for</strong> connecting them to appropriate resources in the church<br />

<strong>and</strong> community?<br />

3. What are some laws related to the family that the <strong>Colombian</strong> family might not know?<br />

How can you organize a time to talk to them about family-related laws in Canada?<br />

4. What activities are there in your church <strong>for</strong> each of the refugee family’s members? Kid’s<br />

clubs or DVBS? Youth group? College <strong>and</strong> Careers group? Men’s groups? Women’s<br />

groups? How will you ensure that the members of the family are not only invited, but<br />

intentionally <strong>and</strong> genuinely included in these spaces?<br />

5. What will you do to ensure that the family does not feel “all alone,” especially at first.<br />

How will you coordinate responsibilities <strong>for</strong> organizing social events or leisure outings<br />

with the family?<br />

6. If there is evidence of domestic violence, how will you prepare to h<strong>and</strong>le it while causing<br />

the least damage to the family at the same time?<br />

1. Remember to check in with the family regularly during the year - not just at the<br />

beginning - regarding family struggles. Different issues will come up over the course of<br />

the year as the family adapts <strong>and</strong> as members take on new roles, meet new friends,<br />

<strong>and</strong> as children mature.<br />

2. Talking about family issues doesn’t need to be awkward of difficult. Just as all the<br />

families in your church <strong>and</strong> community face challenges, so does the refugee family.<br />

When you talk to the refugee family about their challenges, remind them that they are


90<br />

w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

normal challenges <strong>for</strong> refugee families to face, <strong>and</strong> that the church has resources to<br />

help or will help them find the resources they need in the community.<br />

3. Mutual vulnerability is key to trust building. Sharing the struggles of Canadian families,<br />

perhaps even your own family, with the refugee family will normalize their experiences,<br />

equalize imbalances <strong>and</strong> allow the refugee family to take risks in sharing because they<br />

feel safe <strong>and</strong> know that you also have similar challenges at times.<br />

4. Could you organize families from the committee or church community to take the<br />

refugee family on outings, aside from the “essential” outings <strong>for</strong> shopping, registering <strong>for</strong><br />

documents or school etc? Find ways to ensure that they get out of their house <strong>and</strong> spend<br />

time with people other than themselves, especially at first, since it will take time <strong>for</strong> them<br />

to build their own social network.<br />

SERVING OTHERS - IDENTITY BUILDING & HEALING<br />

Many of the <strong>Colombian</strong> <strong>refugees</strong> interviewed <strong>for</strong> this guide mentioned how meaningful it would be to<br />

be involved in some kind of social service or voluntary activity. Service to others can play a role in helping<br />

<strong>refugees</strong> construct a new positive identity <strong>and</strong> self image as well as in their own trauma healing. Being<br />

needed by others helps rein<strong>for</strong>ce their value as people <strong>and</strong> members of a community. This section is<br />

intended to help you brainstorm ways that your church could help connect members of the refugee<br />

families to areas of service or voluntary activities.<br />

It may be helpful to refer to the sections Identity Changes: Loss <strong>and</strong> Reconstruction <strong>and</strong> Reconnection<br />

as well as the section on helping others in Reconnection as you think about this topic.<br />

Some questions to get you started:<br />

1. What areas of service or ministries does your church have? Which of these take<br />

volunteers?<br />

2. Are there any volunteer activities that wouldn’t need a high level of English at first?


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

91<br />

Some ideas:<br />

1. Many <strong>Colombian</strong>s are great cooks <strong>and</strong> have experience preparing <strong>for</strong> large groups of<br />

people. Why not find out if they would be interested in helping with ministries such as<br />

soup kitchens, or helping in the kitchen <strong>for</strong> church events?<br />

2. If the refugee family has children that become involved in youth groups or children’s<br />

clubs at church, think about if there are ways that the parents could become<br />

involved as volunteers in those spaces: chaperoning or accompanying youth events<br />

or helping out in children’s clubs or DVBS in a role appropriate to their abilities <strong>and</strong><br />

language level.<br />

3. If your church has community service activities such visiting care homes, cleaning yards,<br />

volunteering in a thrift shop or a sewing circle, invite members of the refugee family to<br />

join in. Many may have musical talent to contribute during visits to elderly care homes,<br />

<strong>for</strong> example.<br />

4. Is there any way that you could involve the refugee family in the activities of the Sunday<br />

morning service? Find out of they have musical talents. Perhaps you could invite them to<br />

teach a simple Spanish worship song to the congregation one Sunday or read a portion<br />

of scripture (even in Spanish). What about child care during the service, or h<strong>and</strong>ing<br />

out bulletins or greeting people as they come in or leave church (once the family feels<br />

com<strong>for</strong>table in the church)?<br />

5. Remember that connecting the refugee family to service activities is not the same as<br />

having free help - e.g. someone who will clean or do yard maintenance <strong>for</strong> free. Be<br />

intentional about finding a meaningful context of service that feels rewarding to the<br />

refugee.<br />

ADVOCACY & PEACEBUILDING<br />

The <strong>Colombian</strong> refugee family you sponsor may feel great concern <strong>for</strong> family members <strong>and</strong> friends that<br />

they left behind, <strong>and</strong> may wish that they could “do something” or be part of some kind of action that<br />

could make a difference in the lives of their loved ones in Colombia. In fact, taking part in advocacy or<br />

peacebuilding ef<strong>for</strong>ts could be one of the ways that the family is able to construct new meaning in life<br />

as they begin anew in Canada.<br />

Advocacy <strong>for</strong> Colombia is something that not only the refugee family could get involved in but that your<br />

church might want to consider as well. If you’ve sponsored a <strong>Colombian</strong> refugee family you are likely<br />

concerned about the situation of human rights violations <strong>and</strong> violence in Colombia.<br />

Here are some ideas to get you started thinking about how your church community could<br />

engage in advocacy along side the <strong>Colombian</strong> refugee family:<br />

1. Become involved in Days of Prayer <strong>and</strong> Action, a annual campaign focusing on North<br />

American churches <strong>and</strong> governments to promote prayer <strong>and</strong> advocacy <strong>for</strong> displaced


92<br />

w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

people <strong>and</strong> human rights in Colombia. For more in<strong>for</strong>mation contact the MCC<br />

representative in Colombia: mccrep@colombia.mcc.org<br />

2. Consider becoming part of the Sister Church program, partnering in mutually supportive<br />

prayer <strong>and</strong> communication with a Peace Church congregation in Colombia. For more<br />

in<strong>for</strong>mation on the Sister Church program see the Justapaz website : www.justapaz.org<br />

3. Learn about ways in which the Canadian government interacts with Colombia<br />

(<strong>for</strong> example, the Free Trade Agreement) <strong>and</strong> how those interactions impact <strong>Colombian</strong>s.<br />

Consider speaking out to your local politicians in instances where Canada’s actions do<br />

not promote justice or human rights in Colombia. Some excellent resources <strong>for</strong> following<br />

human rights in Colombia <strong>and</strong> underst<strong>and</strong>ing the connection to Canadian politics <strong>and</strong><br />

policies include:<br />

<br />

http://www.amnesty.ca/blog2.php?blog=colombia_hr<br />

<br />

<strong>and</strong> their members, available on the Justapaz website: www.justapaz.org<br />

<br />

occasionally be available on the MCC Ottawa office website:<br />

http://ottawa.mcc.org/<br />

4. Host a discussion group with interested people from your community <strong>and</strong> invite<br />

members of the <strong>Colombian</strong> refugee family to talk about their country <strong>and</strong> the current<br />

situation there, if they feel com<strong>for</strong>table doing so.<br />

STAYING HEALTHY<br />

Be<strong>for</strong>e their problems started, many refugee families may have had a fairly active lifestyle. Those from<br />

rural settings, especially, would be engaged in strenuous physical activity on a regular basis as they<br />

carried out farm chores or walked to <strong>and</strong> from town. Likewise, a healthy diet of fresh local produce would<br />

have been common <strong>for</strong> most <strong>Colombian</strong>s. For some <strong>refugees</strong>, physical activity <strong>and</strong> a healthy diet may<br />

have come to a st<strong>and</strong> still as they were <strong>for</strong>ced to go into hiding. Most displaced <strong>Colombian</strong>s that are<br />

living under threat try to avoid spending much time on the street, <strong>and</strong> thus experience a drastic change<br />

from an active lifestyle to a sedentary one. Others find themselves working in hard-labour jobs such as<br />

construction or housekeeping. As their financial situation worsens, many subsist on sugarcane water <strong>and</strong><br />

bread or rice, <strong>and</strong> malnutrition is a serious problem amongst displaced populations in Colombia.<br />

The change to life in Canada may not naturally bring an increase in physical activity <strong>for</strong> the refugee family,<br />

despite the fact that being active <strong>and</strong> healthy are valued in Canada. There are numerous reasons <strong>for</strong><br />

this: a) although parks may be available <strong>for</strong> walks or jogs, the refugee family may feel afraid to go out<br />

alone, b) they may have never used public recreation facilities be<strong>for</strong>e, <strong>and</strong> not know how to start, c)<br />

<strong>and</strong> taking advantage of winter physical activities won’t come naturally to them. Another reason could be<br />

related to costs <strong>and</strong> budget - the family may not feel that they can af<strong>for</strong>d costs related to transportation<br />

to access exercise facilities, equipment, or registration fees to join community sports teams or classes at<br />

a community recreation centre.


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

93<br />

It is a known fact that physical activity is an<br />

important factor in recovering from traumas <strong>and</strong><br />

<strong>for</strong> staying healthy, there<strong>for</strong>e it is important that<br />

the church community plan <strong>for</strong> ways to ensure<br />

that the refugee family can become physically<br />

active once they arrive. The good news is that<br />

there are likely many ways that the refugee<br />

family can keep active <strong>and</strong> stay healthy in your<br />

community, <strong>and</strong> there are likely people in the<br />

congregation that would be willing to help them<br />

discover the ways that best suit them.<br />

Although their diet will certainly improve upon<br />

arrival in Canada, most <strong>refugees</strong> won’t be<br />

familiar with shopping in huge supermarkets,<br />

nor will they be familiar with the changing of<br />

seasons <strong>and</strong> the seasonal availabilities of fresh<br />

produce.<br />

Here are some questions to help you think about how to ensure the refugee family<br />

has access to physical activity <strong>and</strong> healthy food:<br />

1. What <strong>for</strong>ms of physical activities are common in your town or city? You could classify the<br />

possible options into different categories: group activities (such as community or church<br />

sports teams), solitary activities (like jogging in the park), free activities (badminton in<br />

the back yard), activities that you must pay <strong>for</strong> (swimming lessons or a dance class at<br />

the community centre), summer activities, winter activities, activities available <strong>for</strong> specific<br />

age groups etc. This will help you when it comes time to talk about the options with<br />

the refugee family, since you’ll be able to explain what is available <strong>and</strong> find out which<br />

activities are of most interest to the different members of the family.<br />

2. What <strong>for</strong>ms of physical activities do people from your church participate in? Who are<br />

these people, <strong>and</strong> might they be willing to invite members of the refugee family to join<br />

them?<br />

3. Can you make space in your sponsorship budget to ensure that the refugee family<br />

will be able to af<strong>for</strong>d physical activities <strong>for</strong> each <strong>and</strong> every member of their family?<br />

If children would like to join a local kids’ soccer team, the teenage son would make<br />

good use of a gym pass, <strong>and</strong> the mom would like to join a ladies dance class at the<br />

community centre, would this be financially possible?<br />

4. Are there local farmers’ markets in your community that the refugee family could<br />

shop at in the summer <strong>and</strong> fall? Since large supermarkets are unfamiliar to most<br />

<strong>Colombian</strong>s, the possibility of shopping at a farmers’ market would likely be welcome<br />

<strong>and</strong> appreciated.


94<br />

w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

Some ideas <strong>for</strong> helping the refugee family keep<br />

active <strong>and</strong> eat healthily<br />

1. You might want to pay special attention to ensuring the family has ways to keep active<br />

in the winter, since this season will be new to them <strong>and</strong> they may be less inclined to<br />

venture outside. Winter sports will be entirely new to the refugee family, yet it is likely<br />

that at least the children <strong>and</strong> youth will probably be keen to take part.<br />

2. If you are able to budget a specific amount of money <strong>for</strong> them to use on physical<br />

activity, let them know. Since they may initially feel bad using money to pay <strong>for</strong> exercise,<br />

help them to underst<strong>and</strong> how important being physically active will be both <strong>for</strong> their<br />

future health <strong>and</strong> <strong>for</strong> helping them to move on with life <strong>and</strong> recover from all the difficult<br />

things they have experienced. Tell them it’s important to you that they are able to be<br />

active <strong>and</strong> to choose the activities that best suit them.<br />

3. Refugee children <strong>and</strong> adults may have never learned to swim - if not, <strong>and</strong> if they are<br />

interested, would you consider enrolling them in swimming lessons?<br />

4. Soccer (known as “fútbol” in Colombia) is loved by nearly all <strong>Colombian</strong>s. There is a<br />

good chance that at least some members of the refugee family - young or old - might<br />

enjoy being connected with local possibilities to play soccer.<br />

5. If your refugee family is of rural roots, they may appreciate the possibility to participate<br />

in some gardening of their own. If the home where they are living has space <strong>for</strong> a<br />

garden, find out if they would be interested in planting one. Have someone from your<br />

church explain the timing <strong>for</strong> planting <strong>and</strong> harvesting in Canada, <strong>and</strong> help them find<br />

seeds <strong>and</strong> gardening supplies. If they are not able to plant their own garden, find out if<br />

there are any community gardening projects nearby in the community, where the family<br />

could tend their own plot or work <strong>together</strong> with others. This kind of project might not<br />

be of interest to all <strong>Colombian</strong> refugee families, but to some it could be of very special<br />

interest - it would be worth while finding out if it would be something your refugee<br />

family would enjoy. It would also provide a source of fresh, healthy produce during the<br />

summer <strong>and</strong> fall.<br />

6. As the seasons change, so does Canadian produce. Some fruits <strong>and</strong> vegetables will be<br />

unfamiliar to the refugee family. Finding ways to introduce them to new produce <strong>and</strong><br />

also new recipes could provide <strong>for</strong> some enjoyable times <strong>together</strong> with the family.<br />

7. The idea of preserving or freezing food is <strong>for</strong>eign to <strong>Colombian</strong>s, since fresh produce is<br />

available year round in Colombia. While it is not a necessity in Canada any longer, with<br />

super markets providing imported produce year round, there may still be occasions<br />

where the refugee family might want to consider freezing or preserving some sort<br />

of local seasonal fruit or vegetable. If you think that this might be something useful<br />

or interesting to teach the refugee family, rest assured it will be something new <strong>and</strong><br />

potentially enjoyable <strong>for</strong> them to learn.


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

95<br />

HELPING THE FAMILY FEEL AT HOME<br />

There are many little ways to help your new friends feel at home <strong>and</strong> welcomed into their new<br />

community. Short, spontaneous phone calls <strong>and</strong> visits, although not the norm in Canadian culture, will<br />

likely be very meaningful to the <strong>Colombian</strong> refugee family. Celebrating occasions that are special to<br />

<strong>Colombian</strong>s, such as New Years <strong>and</strong> birthdays would be another way to help the family feel at home.<br />

Finally, finding ways to learn from the family about their culture will give them opportunities to share<br />

who they are <strong>and</strong> what is dear to them, <strong>and</strong> can be a complementary process to them learning about<br />

Canadian culture. Knowing that the church community values <strong>and</strong> is interested in their culture will<br />

be a special gift to the <strong>Colombian</strong> family, as it will open up opportunities to talk about their history<br />

<strong>and</strong> assure them that the church community loves them <strong>and</strong> is delighted to have them in their<br />

community.<br />

Reviewing the section Underst<strong>and</strong>ing our Differences <strong>and</strong> especially the pages containing Cultural Tips<br />

might be helpful as you think about this topic.<br />

Here are some questions to think about as you plan how you will help<br />

the family feel at home:<br />

1. Perhaps there are people in your congregation that would be willing to offer<br />

accompaniment to the family through frequent, short phone calls? Who could they<br />

be?<br />

2. Are there any members of your congregation that would be willing to commit to<br />

dropping by the home of the refugee <strong>for</strong> visits?<br />

3. What can you do to ensure that the refugee family isn’t alone, but rather in<br />

community, on days that are special to them? While it is almost certain that New<br />

Year’s will be a day they yearn to spend with friends <strong>and</strong> family (they may feel extra<br />

homesick on that day), how can you find out what other days during the year are<br />

special to them (<strong>for</strong> example, a daughter’s 15th birthday)? Being alone on these<br />

special days would be a painful reminder of their losses, however, sharing those<br />

occasions with new Canadian friends in their new home community could help<br />

create a sense of being “at home” in a new place.<br />

4. Are there families in your church that would be willing to ensure that the refugee<br />

family doesn’t spend those certain special days alone? How can you plan <strong>for</strong> them to<br />

be surrounded by community at those times?<br />

5. How will you get to know their culture? Are there people in your church that would<br />

be interested in learning about <strong>Colombian</strong> cooking, music, art, geography or dance?<br />

If so, how can you encourage these people to see out the refugee family <strong>and</strong> show<br />

their genuine interest?


96<br />

w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

Here are some ideas that might help:<br />

1. Good advice <strong>for</strong> North Americans<br />

attempting to befriend <strong>and</strong> include new<br />

<strong>Colombian</strong>s in their community life: Call<br />

them often. No specific reason, content<br />

or length of call is necessary. Just call <strong>and</strong><br />

chat <strong>for</strong> five sentences. Inquire about<br />

them <strong>and</strong> their family <strong>and</strong> their loved<br />

ones. Then, wish them a good day <strong>and</strong><br />

end the call with a blessing to them.<br />

2. Dropping in “just because we care about<br />

you <strong>and</strong> wonder how you are doing<br />

this week” would be almost always a<br />

welcomed experience <strong>for</strong> a <strong>Colombian</strong>.<br />

Whether the visit turns out to be short<br />

or long, it will be appreciated. While it<br />

is certainly fine to arrive empty h<strong>and</strong>ed,<br />

bringing a small snack along could be<br />

a nice touch, <strong>and</strong> is something typical<br />

in <strong>Colombian</strong> culture. Receiving visits<br />

<strong>and</strong> calls will help take the edge off the<br />

isolation they may feel, <strong>and</strong> will let them<br />

know that they are loved <strong>and</strong> welcomed<br />

by the church community.<br />

3. Although the refugee family may not take the initiative to invite church friends over <strong>for</strong> a<br />

meal (likely <strong>for</strong> cultural or budget reasons), they would probably love to share their time<br />

<strong>and</strong> their cooking with you. Perhaps church friends could invite the family, or at least the<br />

mother, to help cook a <strong>Colombian</strong> meal in their home? Alternatively, let the family know<br />

that you would like to come over, <strong>and</strong> ask when would be a good time. Just because they<br />

may not invite you on their own doesn’t mean they won’t enjoy hosting you once the<br />

occasion arrises.<br />

4. You could ask if they have any photos from home <strong>and</strong> look at them <strong>together</strong>. If they<br />

don’t have pictures try to find picture books on Colombia from the library to look at with<br />

the family. This kind of activity could open up great conversations about their region in<br />

Colombia <strong>and</strong> local culture <strong>and</strong> traditions.<br />

5. Depending on interest from both sides, you could ask the <strong>Colombian</strong> family to teach<br />

you some salsa or other <strong>Colombian</strong> dances such as cumbia, merengue or vallenato.<br />

Music <strong>and</strong> dance typically brings much joy to <strong>Colombian</strong>s. If they didn’t bring music<br />

from home along, help them find music in the library or in stores that speaks to them<br />

<strong>and</strong> lifts their spirits.


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

97<br />

PREPARING THE CHURCH COMMUNITY<br />

TO WELCOME AND BEFRIEND THE REFUGEE FAMILY<br />

Be<strong>for</strong>e the refugee family arrives, it may be a good idea to prepare the church congregation to receive<br />

them. It would be especially meaningful to prepare the youth <strong>and</strong> young adults of the church to befriend<br />

the youth in the refugee family, since isolation <strong>and</strong> difficulties in meeting friends their own age are<br />

common problems <strong>for</strong> refugee youth <strong>and</strong> young adults.<br />

When a refugee refugee family arrives <strong>and</strong> is embraced by church members of all ages, they receive a<br />

valuable gift that will strengthen their family in the months to come. On the other h<strong>and</strong>, when a refugee<br />

family comes with young adults, youth <strong>and</strong> children but the only members of the church that they<br />

connect with are middle age <strong>and</strong> older, the youth of the family may struggle to integrate <strong>and</strong> will have a<br />

higher risk <strong>for</strong> loneliness, isolation <strong>and</strong> difficulties connecting with Canadian society. What better place <strong>for</strong><br />

young <strong>refugees</strong> to create a social group than in the church? Genuine ef<strong>for</strong>ts from the youth of the church<br />

to welcome <strong>and</strong> include them will be treasured by the refugee family’s youth.<br />

Here are some questions to consider as you think about how to get church members<br />

of all ages involved in welcoming <strong>and</strong> including the refugee family:<br />

1. What are the ages of the members of the soon to arrive refugee family? What activities or<br />

ministries does your church have that correspond to their ages? (i.e. youth group, college<br />

<strong>and</strong> careers, mid-week adult Bible studies or small groups, sunday school, DVBS, worship<br />

team <strong>and</strong> so on.)<br />

2. How will you ensure that each member of the refugee family is genuinely included in<br />

the activity or ministry that corresponds to their age? Are there people in each group that<br />

could be responsible?<br />

3. Logistical concerns such as transportation probably need to be taken into account - how<br />

can rides be provided to different activities, when needed?<br />

4. How multi-cultural is your church <strong>and</strong> community? Are church members used to<br />

befriending <strong>and</strong> including people that may not be able to speak English? If need be, how<br />

can you encourage church members to overcome the initial barriers <strong>and</strong> invest time <strong>and</strong><br />

energy in real relationships with the refugee family?<br />

Some ideas to help prepare church members of all ages to welcome<br />

<strong>and</strong> befriend the family:<br />

1. Be<strong>for</strong>e the family arrives, could you consider having some sessions about Colombia in<br />

the context of different church activities, so as to reach all the different age groups (ie.<br />

youth group, adult small groups, Sunday school). These sessions could be used to learn<br />

about Colombia as well as to talk about the family that is coming <strong>and</strong> what you know<br />

about them so far. You could use library books or videos <strong>and</strong> MCC resources to learn<br />

about Colombia. From what your Provincial Refugee Coordinator has told you about the


98<br />

w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

refugee family you can start to imagine who might like to befriend different members of<br />

the family, <strong>and</strong> what kinds of activities the family would like to do or be included in upon<br />

arrival.<br />

2. Intentionally plan with children, youth, young adults <strong>and</strong> adults in the church how they<br />

would like to welcome <strong>and</strong> befriend the family. Gather ideas <strong>and</strong> also commitments.<br />

When the family comes, there should be people from each age group that are not only<br />

committed to but are also anticipating befriending <strong>and</strong> inviting members of the refugee<br />

family in their age bracket to corresponding church activities.<br />

3. In some cases, it is possible to correspond with the refugee family be<strong>for</strong>e their arrival.<br />

Check with your MCC Provincial Refugee Program Coordinator to find out. If it is possible,<br />

have church members of different age groups write letters to the refugee family even<br />

be<strong>for</strong>e their arrival, describing themselves, the church, the community <strong>and</strong> so on. This is<br />

a great first step to helping the family feel welcomed <strong>and</strong> at home.<br />

4. Despite initial language barriers, try to include each <strong>and</strong> every family member in church<br />

activities. Even if at first they can’t underst<strong>and</strong> everything that is being said, <strong>and</strong> even if no<br />

translator is available, there are many ways to make the members of the refugee family<br />

know they are welcome <strong>and</strong> loved. Humor, gestures, smiles <strong>and</strong> hugs <strong>and</strong> perhaps a<br />

bilingual dictionary will all be useful tools.


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

99


100 w a l k i n g t o g e t h e r<br />

MESSAGE FROM SHALOM<br />

During my four years as an MCC Service Worker in Colombia, I walked <strong>together</strong> with dozens of<br />

displaced <strong>Colombian</strong> families in their pre-refugee stage. I saw them carry on despite suffering threats,<br />

hunger, isolation <strong>and</strong> rejection from society. I saw many physical scars - testimony to miraculous<br />

escapes from attacks meant to kill <strong>and</strong> kidnappings meant to disappear innocent victims. Through this<br />

suffering, one of the greatest sources of <strong>hope</strong> was the knowledge that one day peace would come.<br />

For some, this peace was to be found in the loving embrace of a new community in Canada, made<br />

possible through the MCC Canada Refugee Sponsorship program. Although I saw nearly every family<br />

I accompanied in tears at one point or another, I rarely cried myself, no matter how poignant or tragic<br />

their story. However, there was one time with each <strong>and</strong> every refugee family that was sponsored by<br />

a Mennonite church in Canada that it was incredibly hard <strong>for</strong> me to hold back my tears <strong>and</strong> keep my<br />

voice strong. In each refugee sponsorship process there came a time when I was able to share the<br />

happy news with the refugee family that they would be received in Canada by a Mennonite church.<br />

It was in those conversations, when I would tell the family that there was a church community<br />

in Canada that loved them even though they had never met them, that my voice would, without<br />

exception, begin to waver. It would be all I could do to hold back the tears. The first time I experienced<br />

this I was surprised - I had no idea that I would be so deeply touched by the experience of sharing<br />

this happy news with the family. However, this depth of emotion continued each <strong>and</strong> every time I<br />

had the chance to tell a family that they would be sponsored by a Mennonite church. To be able to<br />

tell a family that has been living under threat that they will have a second chance at life, <strong>and</strong> to tell<br />

them that they will be accompanied, loved <strong>and</strong> supported by a community of people that are yet<br />

strangers is a powerful, moving <strong>and</strong> beautiful experience. Lives are changed <strong>for</strong>ever because of the<br />

love offered by sponsoring churches.<br />

In the fall of 2010 I had the opportunity to travel to several provinces <strong>and</strong> connect personally with<br />

members of churches that sponsor <strong>Colombian</strong> <strong>refugees</strong> through MCC. Many of the people I met had<br />

worked with the very same families that I had worked with in Colombia. In the conversations I had with<br />

individuals who had dedicated their time <strong>and</strong> resources to sponsor <strong>Colombian</strong> families, I was deeply<br />

touched to learn of the myriad ways in which the calling to the ministry of refugee sponsorship is heard.<br />

For many, it is a biblical call, rooted in the numerous passages in which we are instructed to welcome<br />

the stranger or in passages such as Matthew 25, in which Jesus reminds us that “whatever you do <strong>for</strong><br />

the least of these you have done it <strong>for</strong> me.” For others there is a close connection to family experiences;<br />

many had come from refugee families themselves <strong>and</strong> felt a strong call to welcome <strong>and</strong> assist other<br />

families in need of safety <strong>and</strong> a new beginning. For some the call grows from exposure to other cultures<br />

through experiences such as MCC assignments. Most concluded that upon hearing real life stories of fear<br />

<strong>and</strong> threat <strong>and</strong> recognizing a need it was only natural to respond. “We are to do good,” explained one<br />

person. In light of a world that is increasingly preoccupied with self gain, often at the cost of the well-being<br />

of others, being surrounded by so many people who generously give of themselves to assist families<br />

they have never met was inspiring. The fact that so many Canadian church communities have chosen<br />

to answer this call to welcome the stranger, opening their doors, their hearts <strong>and</strong> their pocketbooks to<br />

offer a new chance at life <strong>for</strong> <strong>Colombian</strong> refugee families is nothing short of amazing. As I heard of the


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

101<br />

joys <strong>and</strong> challenges of sponsorship I was impressed by the dedication, love <strong>and</strong> call to service that was<br />

so apparent in each person I spoke to.<br />

During this same visit to Canada, I also visited with a number of <strong>Colombian</strong> refugee families that I had<br />

accompanied while they still lived in Colombia. I will never <strong>for</strong>get how one <strong>Colombian</strong> family explained<br />

to me that a Canadian family from their sponsoring church had a family tree, complete with pictures of<br />

their biological family members, on their wall. The <strong>Colombian</strong> family beamed as they told me “They put<br />

our pictures in their family tree. We are part of their family now!” A wave of emotion swept over me as I<br />

realized that this family had not only been given the gift of a new chance at life or of new friends but of<br />

new “adoptive” family. Nothing could be more meaningful as they begin again in a <strong>for</strong>eign context. Many<br />

other families spoke of similar experiences of being welcomed into new Canadian families <strong>and</strong> quickly<br />

feeling at home in their new communities. I’d like to emphasize that this kind of support is a very special<br />

characteristic of the MCC Canada Refugee Sponsorship Program <strong>and</strong> the churches that participate in it.<br />

The accompaniment that you, as church sponsorship groups, offer to refugee families is very unique <strong>and</strong><br />

valuable, <strong>and</strong> has a significant effect on the lives of refugee families.<br />

As someone who has primarily worked “on the other side,” in Colombia, with families be<strong>for</strong>e the come<br />

to Canada as <strong>refugees</strong>, I want to express my profound appreciation <strong>and</strong> admiration <strong>for</strong> the churches <strong>and</strong><br />

individuals who give so much to offer new beginnings, complete with new communities <strong>and</strong> even new<br />

“extended families” to these <strong>Colombian</strong> families. I <strong>hope</strong> you will find this material useful as you walk<br />

<strong>together</strong> with the families you have welcomed into your hearts <strong>and</strong> communities.<br />

Your comments on this material are welcome <strong>and</strong> invited. I would also be delighted to hear any stories<br />

that you may have. If you have any feedback, reflections or stories that you would like to share with me,<br />

please feel free to write me at shalomwiebe@gmail.com


102 w a l k i n g t o g e t h e r<br />

MESSAGE FROM THE JUSTICE<br />

AND PEACE COMMITTEE<br />

Teusaquillo Mennonite Church, Bogotá, Colombia<br />

Dear Sisters <strong>and</strong> Brothers of the Mennonite Churches of Canada,<br />

We don’t have words to express our gratitude to you <strong>for</strong> the solidarity <strong>and</strong> love you have shown our<br />

<strong>Colombian</strong> brothers <strong>and</strong> sisters who have had to flee their homel<strong>and</strong> to save their lives. The joining of<br />

your actions with ours in accompanying <strong>refugees</strong> is a testimony to the compassion of faith communities<br />

reaching out across borders <strong>and</strong> st<strong>and</strong>ing in solidarity with those in need.<br />

As many of you know from the experience of your own ancestors, when you live in fear <strong>and</strong> under<br />

persecution, <strong>and</strong> someone extends a h<strong>and</strong> of friendship <strong>and</strong> help, that h<strong>and</strong> is as the very h<strong>and</strong> of the<br />

Lord who comes to rescue us in our time of need. You have been that <strong>for</strong> dozens <strong>and</strong> hundreds of<br />

<strong>refugees</strong> from different parts of the world.<br />

We at the Teusaquillo Mennonite Church in downtown Bogotá, Colombia, have been accompanying<br />

people living under threat <strong>and</strong> insecurity <strong>for</strong> more than 10 years. In this ministry, being able to work<br />

closely with you has been vital to those who have fled to Canada They have not only found refuge,<br />

but also a church home in your congregations. In the course of our working <strong>together</strong> <strong>and</strong> in our follow<br />

up contacts with those who have left, we have identified many learnings, some of which Shalom has<br />

gathered into this resource material. It is in the spirit of our joint mission <strong>and</strong> commitment that we share<br />

this material with you.<br />

We are aware that not everyone fits in smoothly or easily at first <strong>and</strong> that our compatriots often carry<br />

deep scars <strong>and</strong> emotional wounds that have not been entirely cured. But with your patience <strong>and</strong> love<br />

many of them have recovered their lives, have been able to look to the future, <strong>and</strong> we <strong>hope</strong> have made<br />

contributions in the various congregations where they are participating. Many of them have been helping<br />

relatives here financially <strong>and</strong> some of them have remembered to help our church ministries as well.<br />

Truly God does wonderful things when we join h<strong>and</strong>s to do God’s work. We are called as followers of<br />

Jesus to do good, <strong>and</strong> in receiving the <strong>refugees</strong> that arrive in Canada <strong>and</strong> giving them a church home<br />

you have been doing just that. Thank you very much.<br />

Fraternally,<br />

Peter Stucky, pastor<br />

For the Justice <strong>and</strong> Peace Committee<br />

Teusaquillo Mennonite Church<br />

Bogotá, Colombia


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

103<br />

APPENDIX #1<br />

STAGES OF ACCULTURATION AND POSSIBLE SERVICE IMPLICATIONS<br />

Physical Events Psychosocial Experience Service Implications<br />

Reunited with family<br />

Located in new home<br />

Children enrolled in school<br />

Initial medical screening<br />

Case manager assigned from<br />

resettlement agency<br />

Referred <strong>for</strong> ESL, employment<br />

<strong>and</strong> other services<br />

Paperwork, red tape, other<br />

print-based requirements<br />

ARRI VAL<br />

High expectations<br />

Relief<br />

Grateful to be safe<br />

Hopeful <strong>for</strong> future <strong>and</strong>/or<br />

Feeling overwhelmed<br />

Confusion<br />

Disorientation<br />

Mixed emotions <strong>and</strong>/or<br />

Numbed out/state of shock <strong>and</strong>/or<br />

Resentment<br />

Anger<br />

Excited to be studying<br />

Grateful <strong>for</strong> help & support<br />

Pleased to be in a community<br />

Excited to get to know a Canadian<br />

Sense of purpose <strong>and</strong> schedule<br />

Fearful/nervous about learning<br />

new language, or<br />

Unfocused<br />

Non-related or unconnected, or<br />

Resentful<br />

Restless<br />

Impatient<br />

Culture shock<br />

Negative experiences<br />

Losses realized<br />

Intergenerational conflict in families<br />

Values <strong>and</strong> faith conflicts across<br />

cultures<br />

Conflict with refugee communities<br />

Realization that many obstacles<br />

must be overcome to have the life<br />

they dream of<br />

Begin to underst<strong>and</strong> <strong>and</strong> accept<br />

new environment<br />

Takes action to move ahead<br />

Developing English capacity<br />

Stability <strong>and</strong> structure in daily living<br />

Affiliation with ethnic group<br />

Rebuilding support systems<br />

Defining new roles <strong>and</strong> identity<br />

REALITY<br />

Culture shock<br />

Awareness of challenges<br />

<strong>and</strong> difficulties<br />

Disappointment <strong>and</strong> anger<br />

Feeling overwhelmed<br />

Fear, sense of ab<strong>and</strong>onment<br />

Preoccupation with losses<br />

Frustration<br />

Memories of traumatic events<br />

Resentment <strong>and</strong> anger<br />

NEGOTIA TION<br />

(or Alienation see Below)<br />

Begins to accept losses<br />

<strong>Healing</strong> from trauma<br />

Commitment to succeed<br />

Growing sense of selfdetermination<br />

<strong>and</strong> control<br />

Difficulty concentrating<br />

Detachment<br />

Short-term memory loss<br />

Doesn’t complete or <strong>for</strong>gets<br />

assignments<br />

Flashbacks<br />

Fatigue<br />

Falling asleep in class<br />

Startle response/hypervigilence<br />

Lateness or frequent absence<br />

Somatic complaints (headache,<br />

stomachache, etc.)<br />

Dedication to classroom learning<br />

Complete assignments<br />

Connecting to classmates,<br />

making friends<br />

Sets realistic goals<br />

Memory improvement<br />

Concentration improvement<br />

Still may experience feelings<br />

of frustration or being<br />

overwhelmed: “Will I ever learn<br />

this language?”<br />

Stages of Acculturation & Possible Service Implications chart courtesy of the Center <strong>for</strong> Victims of Torture, 649 Dayton Ave., St. Paul, MN 55104,<br />

www.cvt.org ©Center <strong>for</strong> Victims of Torture


104 w a l k i n g t o g e t h e r<br />

STAGES OF ACCULTURATION AND POSSIBLE SERVICE IMPLICATIONS<br />

Physical Events Psychosocial Experience Service Implications<br />

CULT URAL I N T EGRATION<br />

(or Marginalization see Below)<br />

Basic needs met<br />

Some language competence<br />

Employment <strong>and</strong>/or economic<br />

stability<br />

Family relationships<br />

strengthened<br />

Community ties established<br />

Sense of power <strong>and</strong> control<br />

Bicultural identity <strong>for</strong>ged<br />

Self-confidence<br />

Pride in self-sufficiency<br />

Sense of success <strong>and</strong> stable<br />

future “I have a place in this<br />

country.”<br />

May disengage from ESL class<br />

as self-sufficiency <strong>and</strong><br />

English competency is achieved<br />

Sense that class is no longer<br />

needed, that client has moved<br />

beyond it<br />

Increased self-study<br />

May transfer to workplace ESL<br />

May focus on college or other<br />

adult-education options<br />

Inability to use (or lack of<br />

access to) transportation<br />

Poor physical health<br />

Taking care of small children<br />

Mental-health issues<br />

Intergenerational conflict<br />

Possible domestic abuse<br />

Children are not supervised<br />

Especially at risk: older<br />

<strong>refugees</strong> <strong>and</strong> homebound<br />

women<br />

Strong involvement with<br />

institutions: legal, child welfare,<br />

police<br />

Dependence<br />

Unemployment<br />

Legal involvement<br />

Taking on negative roles<br />

Temporary housing or moves<br />

often<br />

Seldom leaves home<br />

Possible involvement in gangs<br />

or crime<br />

Substance or domestic abuse<br />

ALI ENATION<br />

Reluctant to leave home<br />

Not wanting to “take on”<br />

the outside world<br />

Isolation <strong>and</strong> withdrawal<br />

Despair <strong>and</strong> sadness<br />

Suicidal thoughts<br />

Lamenting loss of old roles<br />

Fear they cannot succeed<br />

in Canada<br />

MARGI NALI ZATION<br />

Has given up <strong>hope</strong> of<br />

acculturating or having<br />

a positive role in Canada<br />

Has resentment/negative<br />

attitude<br />

Hopelessness<br />

Seems unreachable<br />

Attendance very sporadic<br />

or student drops out<br />

May have difficulty reaching<br />

student by phone<br />

Intends to but can’t manage<br />

to come to class<br />

Barriers to attendance, i.e.<br />

no transportation, child care<br />

Over-attachment to one teacher,<br />

lever, or program<br />

Time-management,<br />

priority- setting issues<br />

Attendance has ceased<br />

May be impossible to locate<br />

or contact student<br />

Stages of Acculturation & Possible Service Implications chart courtesy of the Center <strong>for</strong> Victims of Torture, 649 Dayton Ave., St. Paul, MN 55104,<br />

www.cvt.org ©Center <strong>for</strong> Victims of Torture


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

105<br />

APPENDIX #2<br />

GUIDELINES FOR WORKING WITH INTERPRETERS<br />

BEFORE<br />

SESSION<br />

DURING<br />

SESSION<br />

DO<br />

Develop a pool of accessible, trained professional<br />

interpreters.<br />

Screen interpreters: determine their level of language<br />

sophistication, knowledge of the culture, sensitivity to<br />

mental health issues (especially confidentiality), <strong>and</strong><br />

general disposition <strong>for</strong> the tasks to be done. For mental<br />

health service delivery, it is important to ask about the<br />

interpreter’s own mental health. Many interpreters have<br />

their own trauma history <strong>and</strong> need to make in<strong>for</strong>med<br />

choices about re-exposure to traumatic events.<br />

Orient interpreters to your organization/church/<br />

committee’s mission, goals, structure, terminology <strong>and</strong><br />

roles. This should be ongoing rather than a one time<br />

ef<strong>for</strong>t.<br />

Develop <strong>and</strong> maintain good working relationships with<br />

interpreters.<br />

Expect tasks to take longer when an interpreter is used.<br />

Expect the interpreter to assist with clarification.<br />

Expect the interpreter to take notes when issues<br />

become complicated<br />

Prepare to repeat yourself in different words.<br />

Have the parties speak directly to each other, not to the<br />

interpreter. Make sure the interpreter speaks to both<br />

parties in the first person.<br />

Look at the client while you are speaking to her or him,<br />

not at the interpreter. Maintain gentle eye contact when<br />

the client or the interpreter speaks.<br />

Explain your role <strong>and</strong> that of the interpreter. It is<br />

especially important to address the issue of interpreter<br />

confidentiality <strong>and</strong> how the interpreter <strong>and</strong> client will<br />

h<strong>and</strong>le future interactions within the community.<br />

Use the interpreter as a cultural broker to avoid<br />

unnecessary misunderst<strong>and</strong>ing.<br />

DON’T<br />

Omit this stage. It is essential <strong>for</strong><br />

providing culturally competent<br />

services.<br />

Use a word-<strong>for</strong>-word interpreting<br />

<strong>for</strong>mat. Literal translation rarely makes<br />

it possible to re-express the original<br />

meaning due to uniqueness of each<br />

language.<br />

Chain questions (e.g. “Do you<br />

smoke or drink coffee?”)<br />

Say anything you don’t want<br />

the other party to hear.<br />

Talk about clients in their presence.<br />

If you need to consult with the<br />

interpreter, explain what you are<br />

doing to the client.<br />

Confuse the interpreter by backing<br />

up, rephrasing, or hesitating. Don’t<br />

“think aloud” or use a reflective style<br />

that changes, me<strong>and</strong>ers, or backs<br />

up in the middle, or erases parts.<br />

Talk fast.<br />

Guidelines <strong>for</strong> Working with Interpreters chart courtesy of the Center <strong>for</strong> Victims of Torture, 649 Dayton Ave., St. Paul, MN 55104,<br />

www.cvt.org ©Center <strong>for</strong> Victims of Torture


106 w a l k i n g t o g e t h e r<br />

GUIDELINES FOR WORKING WITH INTERPRETERS<br />

DURING<br />

SESSION<br />

DO<br />

Pay attention to your nonverbal communication,<br />

which is the only means of direct communication<br />

between you <strong>and</strong> the client.<br />

Watch <strong>for</strong> subtle signs of discom<strong>for</strong>t or distress,<br />

as a clue that the interpretation is not going well.<br />

Be aware of ethnic, age, gender <strong>and</strong> class differences<br />

between the interpreter <strong>and</strong> the client.<br />

Use short, simple statements <strong>and</strong> stick to one<br />

topic at a time.<br />

Plan what you want to say ahead of time.<br />

Regulate the pace of the interaction, pausing<br />

in natural places to permit interpretation.<br />

Check to see if messages are understood (may ask<br />

interpreter to repeat things such as instructions<br />

or directions back to you in English).<br />

Encourage the interpreter to tell you when he<br />

or she is having difficulty.<br />

Ask the interpreter to make a complete interpretation<br />

in the event of an obvious omission.<br />

Give the interpreter time to interpret concepts.<br />

One word can require a lengthy explanation in<br />

either direction if the concept doesn’t exist in the<br />

other language.<br />

DON’T<br />

Tune out or think only of your next<br />

question while the client is speaking,<br />

even though you don’t underst<strong>and</strong><br />

what’s being said.<br />

Use idioms, slang, obscure or<br />

ambiguous words, abstractions,<br />

metaphors, jargon.<br />

Keep repeating questions that aren’t<br />

being answered.<br />

Expect the interpreter to know<br />

everything about the client’s culture.<br />

Other cultural resources may be<br />

needed.<br />

AFTER<br />

SESSION<br />

Debrief on communication problems. Ask whether<br />

there was anything you did not underst<strong>and</strong> or<br />

respond to appropriately (tone of voice, nonverbal<br />

communication, etc.). Ask whether there was<br />

anything that reflected your lack of underst<strong>and</strong>ing<br />

of the client’s culture, <strong>and</strong> whether the interpreter<br />

had any difficulty interpreting (accent, dialect, client<br />

not answering the questions asked).<br />

Debrief on emotional <strong>and</strong> trauma-related issues<br />

(e.g., “Did this bring up any difficult feelings <strong>for</strong><br />

you?”) This can be done with groups of interpreters.<br />

Skip this stage. The best cross-cultural<br />

learning <strong>for</strong> both service providers<br />

<strong>and</strong> interpreters often happens<br />

through immediate feedback<br />

using specific situations as learning<br />

opportunities.<br />

Guidelines <strong>for</strong> Working with Interpreters chart courtesy of the Center <strong>for</strong> Victims of Torture, 649 Dayton Ave., St. Paul, MN 55104,<br />

www.cvt.org ©Center <strong>for</strong> Victims of Torture


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

107<br />

APPENDIX #3<br />

COMMON RESPONSES TO TRAUMATIC EVENTS<br />

Feelings Thinking What people<br />

do or say<br />

Physical Spiritual Group<br />

Behaviour<br />

fear, terror,<br />

anxiety<br />

confusion<br />

withdraw from<br />

or avoid usual<br />

activities<br />

thirst, dry<br />

mouth<br />

emptiness, loss<br />

of meaning<br />

apathy<br />

panic,<br />

paranoia<br />

nightmares<br />

panic, restless,<br />

hyper alertness,<br />

erratic<br />

movements<br />

vomiting,<br />

weakness<br />

doubt, anger<br />

at God<br />

silence, unable<br />

to talk with others<br />

anger, rage<br />

suspicious,<br />

overly sensitive<br />

emotional<br />

outbursts,<br />

suspicious of<br />

others<br />

chest pains,<br />

elevated blood<br />

pressure, rapid<br />

heart rate<br />

feeling<br />

un<strong>for</strong>given or<br />

punished<br />

denial about what<br />

is happening,<br />

unable to be<br />

truthful<br />

apprehension,<br />

depression,<br />

vengeful<br />

overly sensitive<br />

problems<br />

at work<br />

visual difficulties<br />

loss of faith in<br />

people<br />

isolate, lack of<br />

empathy, low<br />

energy <strong>and</strong><br />

productivity,<br />

inflexibility<br />

shame, guilt,<br />

sadness, grief,<br />

shock<br />

unable to<br />

concentrate<br />

or make<br />

decisions<br />

difficulty writing<br />

or talking<br />

nausea,<br />

diarrhea<br />

looking <strong>for</strong><br />

magic<br />

high rates of<br />

stress related<br />

health issues<br />

feeling<br />

helpless /<br />

<strong>hope</strong>less<br />

very critical,<br />

blaming others<br />

excessive use<br />

of humor,<br />

changes<br />

in speech<br />

patterns<br />

shallow<br />

breathing,<br />

dizziness or<br />

faintness, chills,<br />

sweating<br />

belief that we<br />

have failed God<br />

of that God is<br />

powerless, crisis<br />

of faith<br />

intergenerational<br />

transmission of<br />

pain<br />

feeling numb<br />

poor problem<br />

solving<br />

increased drug<br />

or alcohol<br />

use, domestic<br />

violence<br />

grinding teeth,<br />

headaches<br />

sudden turing<br />

to God<br />

spiritual growth<br />

<strong>and</strong> wisdom<br />

Common Responses to Traumatic Events chart courtesy of the Strategies <strong>for</strong> Trauma Resilience <strong>and</strong> Awareness Program,<br />

Eastern Mennonite University, Virginia. www.emu.edu/star ©Strategies <strong>for</strong> Trauma Resilience <strong>and</strong> Awareness Program


108 w a l k i n g t o g e t h e r<br />

COMMON RESPONSES TO TRAUMATIC EVENTS<br />

Feelings Thinking What people<br />

do or say<br />

Physical Spiritual Group<br />

Behaviour<br />

irritability<br />

disoriented to<br />

time, place or<br />

person<br />

avoid thoughts<br />

<strong>and</strong> feelings<br />

related to<br />

traumatic event<br />

easily startled<br />

loss of direction,<br />

cynicism, apathy,<br />

alienated,<br />

mistrust<br />

courage<br />

heightened<br />

or lowered<br />

awareness<br />

impaired sexual<br />

functioning<br />

fatigue,<br />

changes in<br />

sleep patterns,<br />

nightmares,<br />

inability to rest<br />

growth, deeper<br />

faith, resilience<br />

feeling<br />

uncoordinated<br />

caring <strong>for</strong><br />

others<br />

changes in<br />

appetite,<br />

stomach<br />

distress<br />

Common Responses to Traumatic Events chart courtesy of the Strategies <strong>for</strong> Trauma Resilience <strong>and</strong> Awareness Program,<br />

Eastern Mennonite University, Virginia. www.emu.edu/star ©Strategies <strong>for</strong> Trauma Resilience <strong>and</strong> Awareness Program


w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

109<br />

REFERENCES<br />

Flashbacks <strong>and</strong> the Brain-Body Link. (2004) Strategies <strong>for</strong> Trauma Resilience <strong>and</strong> Awareness, Eastern<br />

Mennonite University, Virginia. www.emu.edu/star<br />

<strong>Healing</strong> the Hurt, Chapter 2 Torture Survivors: Family <strong>and</strong> Community Issues. Minneapolis, MN: The<br />

Centre <strong>for</strong> Victims of Torture. www.ctv.org<br />

Herman, J. (1992) Trauma <strong>and</strong> recovery: The aftermath of violence from domestic abuse to political<br />

terror. New York, NY: Basic Books.<br />

Johnson, D. (2005) Helping Refugee Trauma Survivors in the Primary Care Setting. Minneapolis, MN:<br />

Centre <strong>for</strong> Victims of Torture. www.ctv.org<br />

Klassen, B. (2006) Opening Space <strong>for</strong> <strong>Healing</strong> in Colombia, in Peacebuilding in Traumatized Societies.<br />

Maryl<strong>and</strong>: University Press of America.<br />

LeBaron, M. (2003) Communication Tools <strong>for</strong> Underst<strong>and</strong> Cultural Differences <strong>and</strong> Cross-Cultural<br />

Communication. Beyond Intractability. (www.beyondintractability.org)<br />

Lennon, E. (2005) New Neighbors Hidden Scars, chapter 3 <strong>Healing</strong> the Hurt. Minneapolis, MN: The<br />

Centre <strong>for</strong> Victims of Torture. www.ctv.org<br />

Lord, R., (2004) What Victims Want to Say to Clergy. Strategies <strong>for</strong> Trauma Resilience <strong>and</strong> Awareness,<br />

Eastern Mennonite University, Virginia. www.emu.edu/star<br />

Luks, A. (2001) The <strong>Healing</strong> Power of Doing Good: The Health <strong>and</strong> Spiritual Benefits of Helping<br />

Others. New York, NY: iUniverse.<br />

¿Salto estratégico o salto al vacío? El desplazamiento <strong>for</strong>zado en los tiempos de la seguridad<br />

democrática. Bulletin #76. (2010, January) Bogotá, Colombia: CODHES - Consultoría para los Derechos<br />

Humanos y el Desplazamiento. http://www.codhes.org<br />

Ting-Toomey, S. & Chung, L. (2005) Underst<strong>and</strong>ing Intercultural Communication. Los Angeles, CA:<br />

Roxbury Publications.


Colombia - Suramérica<br />

Océano Atlántico<br />

w a l k i n g<br />

t o g e t h e r<br />

111<br />

SAN ANDRÉS<br />

PROVIDENCIA<br />

Barranquilla<br />

ATLÁNTICO<br />

Santa<br />

Marta<br />

MAGDALENA<br />

Cartagena<br />

GUAJIRA<br />

Riohacha<br />

Valledupar<br />

CESAR<br />

Sincelejo<br />

Panamá<br />

Montería<br />

CÓRDOBA<br />

SUCRE<br />

BOLÍVAR<br />

NORTE DE<br />

SANTANDER<br />

Cúcuta<br />

Venezuela<br />

ANTIOQUIA<br />

Medellín<br />

Bucaramanga<br />

SANTANDER<br />

Arauca<br />

ARAUCA<br />

Puerto Carreño<br />

Océano Pacífico<br />

CHOCÓ<br />

Quibdó<br />

CALDAS<br />

RISARALDA Manizales<br />

Pereira<br />

Armenia<br />

QUINDÍO<br />

Ibagué<br />

TOLIMA<br />

VALLE DEL CAUCA<br />

Cali<br />

Neiva<br />

BOYACÁ<br />

Tunja<br />

Bogotá D.C.<br />

CUNDINAMARCA<br />

Villavicencio<br />

META<br />

CASANARE<br />

Yopal<br />

VICHADA<br />

Puerto Inírida<br />

CAUCA<br />

Popayán<br />

HUILA<br />

San José del Guaviare<br />

GUAINÍA<br />

NARIÑO<br />

Florencia<br />

GUAVIARE<br />

Pasto<br />

Mitú<br />

Mocoa<br />

PUTUMAYO<br />

CAQUETÁ<br />

VAUPÉS<br />

Ecuador<br />

AMAZONAS<br />

Brazil<br />

Perú<br />

Leticia


WALKING TOGETHER<br />

<strong>Healing</strong> <strong>and</strong> Hope <strong>for</strong> <strong>Colombian</strong> Refugees

Hooray! Your file is uploaded and ready to be published.

Saved successfully!

Ooh no, something went wrong!