The Rabbi's Desk: Hugging Trees Rabbi Craig Scheff

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Thirty Days Thirty days has September, April, June and November. When it comes to observing the mourning period of shloshim, thirty days can be truncated due to certain holidays. Along with many fellow congregants, I heard Rabbi Scheff explain the exceptions to the rule as I ended my shortened period of shiva for my father’s passing. Before I continue, I’d like to thank all of you for your support during the 55-day period when my father was hospitalized, during the seventeen days of shloshim and the days after, and for donations made. The loving kindness continues to this day, as people still ask how my mom is doing. My dad was buried on the afternoon leading up to Shavuot, which meant that my period of shiva was less than six hours and only observed at my parents’ home. I knew that very few people would be able to visit and did not really need the comfort of others at that time. However, I began to think about how my OJC friends would be able to unofficially acknowledge my dad’s death. Rabbi Scheff and I came up with the idea of having people come to one of the next few Monday evening minyanim where I serve as gabbai. The daily chapel was overflowing that first Monday evening. It was not part of the shiva period, but felt like it. OJC continues to be a learning community and I am grateful for being part of its extended family, as well as being a ―regular‖ member. Dealing with a life cycle event is not new to most of us and we all cope with its physical and mental demands differently. I felt fortunate that I was prepared religiously prior to my dad’s death and as I am continuing to say kaddish. Unfortunately, I was not able to say kaddish every day but that did not bother me. My first missed opportunity was on the evening that ended Shavuot. We did not have enough Jews at my parents’ home and the nearby shul had an earlier scheduled minyan. Over my OJC years, I have attended minyanim when someone would mark the end of shloshim or the anniversary of a death by saying a few words and/or making a toast (whiskey or bagel). Because I really had no shiva opportunity to share something about my father, I needed to get it out of my system and planned an evening to do so. I knew it would be emotionally difficult to speak to about 60 people but I also knew that it would be another learning opportunity for our community. I was especially happy that some of my friends brought their young children to be part of the supportive love that our community prides itself on. I only hope that when other members of our congregation lose loved ones, there will be a similar overflowing amount of support. Just saying a few words, giving a hug or helping to make a minyan, especially on an anniversary date, is all that it takes. Side note: I would have loved to share this with you earlier, but because of the Shaliach’s summer break, it had to be delayed. Wishing you a most happy and healthy New Year. 20 Jeffrey Lance
IN MEMORY OF: REMEMBERED BY: Eileen Adler……………….…..Audree & Arthur Yorkes Daniel Alevy………………………Karen & Cary Alevy Lester Baitler……………….Jenna, Esta & Susan Baitler Jacob J. Balban…………………….……Diana Saltzman Sonia Bass.....................................................Steven Bass Abraham Berkowitz......................….......Ken Berkowitz Bessie Breslow…………………Evelyn & Paul Breslow Sally Cooperman……………………..…..Helen Kuttner Bruce Day….……………………………Gail H. Moggio David Drogan…………………………Amy D. Schwartz Harold Eckstein......................................Rosalie Eckstein Pearl Fener....................................Edward & Thea Fener Harry Frank…………………………….…Harvey Frank Sydell Friedman…………………………..Sandra Mayer Sally Goodman……………….Audree & Arthur Yorkes Sarah Gottlieb...................................Phyllis Rosenkrantz Rose Hocherman………………………..Susan Edelstein Harry Kremin................................Roz Kremin & Family Jean Lavin....……………….…...Eileen & Barry Rogers Frederic Levine……………....…………….Rose Levine Irving Margolin.......................................Roberta Paullay Mari Meyer.................................Suzanne & Jack Hirsch Reuben Moskowitz................................Ross Moskowitz Stanley Mustacchi…...Michele Klein & Robert Folchetti George Novick…………………………..Ellen Pressman Leonora Perlin-Margolin.....................Judith Schreibman Lois Pontell…………………….Marcy & Steven Pontell Albert Ragues……………………………...Grace Maisel Anna Schaumberger…. Sylvia & Norman Schaumberger Sylvia Schulsinger…………………....Irving Schulsinger Elsie Siegel…………………..….Evelyn & Paul Breslow Dinah Wallach……………………..……Steven Wallach Hilda Weiner..................................................Elaine Heck Mary Weiner…………………………….Martin Soloway Fanny Weinstein…………….………..…...Estelle Sollish David Zangwill……………..……..…….…..Nina Tarley Martin Jacobs Murray & Rhea Jacobs (BSST-HHM) IN MEMORY OF Rose Wertman, beloved mother of Mimi Gelb, beloved wife of Isaac Wertman Andrea & Alan Sherman (RDF) Estelle Sollish (ARDF) Barbara & Jack Rosen (WSF) Beth, Lloyd & Shara Fishman (NS) Adele Garber (RDF) Beverly & Barry Yarkon (BSST-DN) 21 Miriam & Larry Suchoff (SMF) Gloria Brettner (WSF) Rochelle & Paul Brief (R) Sherri & Tom Williger (WSF) Janet & Jack Miller (NS) Linda & Bruce Varon (RDF) Jan Ziegler (WSF) Leslie & Allen, Jen, Jonathan & Julia Levinson (BSST-2SFS) Ruth & Karl Hess (R) Amy & David Nelson (R) Thea Sanders, beloved mother of Arthur Sanders Andrea & Alan Sherman (RDF) Beth, Lloyd & Shara Fishman (NS) Ellen & Jay Rifkin (R) Barbara & Jack Rosen (WSF) Estelle Sollish (RDF) Tova & Barry Adesnik (RDF) Beverly & Barry Yarkon (BSST-DN) Reva Cohen (SCF) Sabina & Ari Chaplin (R) Adele Garber (BSST-DN) Miriam & Larry Suchoff (SMF) Gabi & Maty Lewy (WSF) Carol & Sherman Baker (RDF) Janet & Jack Miller (NS) Mimi & Mel Rosenstock (RDF) Rhonda & Michael Plawner (WSF) Helen & Gary Barnett (WSF) Linda & Bruce Varon (RDF) Leslie & Allen, Jen, Jonathan & Julia Levinson (BSST-2SFS) Ruth & Karl Hess (R) Zelda & Burt Heller (R) Amy & David Nelson (S) Arthur LeMay (R) Sharon & Stuart Klein (R) Suraya Kashi & Lauren Scharfing (RDF) Helen & Jack Kuttner (S) Jerry Nager, beloved father of Jana Adelson and beloved brother of Donna Nager Linda Salzhauer & Family (BSST-2SFS) Robert Bensimhon, beloved husband of Judy Bensimhon Gabi & Maty Lewy (ARDF) Diana & Milt Saltzman (BSST-SFS) Lesley & Richard Lefkowitz (RDF) Aura Nelson, beloved mother of David Nelson Eileen & Barry Rogers (ARDF) Roz Kremin (R) Evan & Amy Kremin (R) Helen & Gary Barnett (WSF) Andrea & Alan Sherman (RDF)
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The Rabbi's Desk: Hugging Trees Rabbi Craig Scheff

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