There were families in Canada that were prosecuted ... - Memewar

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When Did I Stop Wanting to be President? Jim Knipfel Given that I wrote for a New York newspaper, and was blind on top of it, it came as no real surprise that I received a lot of e-mailed press releases regarding recent legal victories in the ongoing battle for disabled rights. Lord knows I didn’t go looking for these things, but somehow they always seemed to find their way to me. Somewhere along the line, my name must have been punched into someone’s “differently crippled” database. Most of them I ignored, as most seemed to involve wheelchair ramps being installed at this or that restaurant chain, or hearing-impaired grade school students getting some high-tech doo-dad or another. I was never much into the whole Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) business, and I’ve had nothing but trouble with the assorted blind bureaucracies who’ve contacted me in the past. Then one day I got another one of these e-mails and, for some reason, took a quick glance at the note attached to the press release. Then I read it more carefully a second time, then a third. Here’s what it said: 12 TO: Jim Knipfel President American Council of the Blind FR: Sven Ludkvist, Esq. (Not his real name, by the way) Special Assistant to the Attorney General Civil Rights Division US. Department of Justice Hi again, Jim. I am pleased to report another positive development on the disability rights enforcement front. Late last week, on behalf of the People of the United States, the Justice Department secured a victory for racers and spectators with disabilities who sought access in accordance with federal law. One by one, barriers to full participation continue to be torn down. As our momentum grows in strength, so does our ability to enhance our effectiveness in making a difference in the lives of members of the disability community. Best of all, there are even more announcements on the way. My warmest wishes to you, Jim. Do remember to stay in touch, and keep me posted on how you are doing. In the mean time, you take good care. --Sven Below the note was a press release announcing that wheelchair ramps were being installed at a raceway in Alabama.
I initially assumed it was just another spam, but some quick research revealed that no, it wasn’t. It was completely legit. I was getting mail from some bigwig at the Department of Justice. More than that, he was a bigwig who was being awfully chummy. Imagine that. Now, given that it was legitimate, that this guy was real, many things about this letter confused me. Not only had I never heard of Sven—I had no recollection of being on such friendly personal terms with anyone at DOJ, though I was admittedly relieved, in these paranoid days, that some official over there apparently thought differently. Lord knows I’d given them plenty of reasons to feel otherwise. But that was the least of my confoundments. I thought about it for a moment and then composed a letter back to Mr. Ludkvist. Here’s what that one said: Dear Mr. Ludkvist, First of all, let me congratulate you on your continued and valiant efforts to make life a little easier for people across the country who, like me, have disabilities. By all accounts, you are doing one heck of a job. So huzzah to you, I say! But I’m afraid there has been some minor confusion somewhere along the line. Your recent notes refer to me as the “President of the American Council of the Blind.” While I am in fact blind, I’m afraid I’ve never heard of the American Council of the Blind. I mean, I may have at one time or another, but there are so many darn sound alike blind organizations out there nowadays, I tend to lose track of them. And I can’t recall there ever being any reason why I would claim to be president of such a thing either. No, I’m afraid I just write stories for a little weekly newspaper here in Manhattan. I don’t think anyone has ever mistaken me for the president of anything. In fact, I’m really kind of hoping I’m NOT the president of the ACB—can you imagine how much paperwork I’d have to catch up on at this point? A lot! I do enjoy hearing of your successes, though. I just don’t want to give anyone the wrong impression. Thanks. Hope all’s well by you, and keep up the swell work! Jim Knipfel Not the President American Council of the Blind I sent the letter off to the Justice Department, and immediately began kicking myself. First of all, DOJ has not exactly been known in recent years for their sense of humor. Sense of the absurd, maybe, but I don’t think anyone there has ever been referred to as, say, “jolly.” I began to worry that something in the letter might be interpreted the wrong way. What if my lighthearted banter was taken as some kind of terrorist threat? Last thing I needed right about now was a vacation in Gitmo for a couple comedy jokes. While that fear passed pretty quickly, I still kept kicking myself. I mean, in someone’s eyes somewhere, I was the fucking President of a High Powered and Well-Respected Civil Rights Organization! I mean, there’s got to be a ton of money in something like that, right? Yet I’d never received a single paycheck! Not one penny! And even if it’s just one of those figurehead positions without any pay, still—there have got to be 1
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There were families in Canada that were prosecuted ... - Memewar

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