YES - The Fun Pape!

© 2012 Edward Michael Wishlow All Rights Reserved
Office Hrs: Mon-Fri 9am-4pm
funpape.com
Humorous & thought provoking stories to entertain and reduce stress
Issue 14-5.6
Jan 18 Feb 1/12
Next Classified Deadline: Friday Monday May Jan 20, 30, 4pm
Printed & Published by The Fun Pape, 3107 Hwy 3, Creston BC V0B 1G1
Phone 250-428-2828 Fax 250-428-2878 email: mail@funpape.com
4G Satellite
Broadband Service.
Only from XPLORNET
January 2012 Launch
Info & Sign up:
Wednesdays & Fridays 10am-3pm
at Mountain Park Resort, 4020 Hwy 3E
To Move A Barn
In 1981, Herman Ostry and his wife,
Donna, bought a farm a half a mile outside
of Bruno, Nebraska, a small community
sixty miles west of Omaha. The
property had a creek and came with a
was always wet and muddy. When the
creek flooded in 1988, the barn ended
up with 29 inches of water covering the
floor. That was the last straw. Ostry
needed to move it to higher ground. He
contacted a building moving company
and was discouraged by the high cost
of the bid. One night around the table,
Ostry commented that if they had
enough people they could pick the
barn up and move it to higher ground.
Everyone laughed. A few days later,
some calculations. He had counted the
individual boards and timbers in the
barn and estimated that the barn
weighed approximately 16,640 pounds.
1518 NW Blvd
250-428-2426
nufloorscreston.ca
cont. on pg 7
Artificial intelligence turns iPhones
and Google Androids
into smart alecs
Siri, the personal assistant on iPhone
4S, lets you use your voice to send
messages, schedule meetings, place
phone calls and more. Ask Siri to do
things just by talking the way you ordinarily
talk, and it understands what you
say and mean. It also knows when
For all of its virtues, it has attracted
more attention for its sassy answers to
trick questions. One user commanded,
about trick questions too. After 13
years of research, some of its super
smart engineers have created algorithms
able to answer such questions.
cont on pg 3
Spotless Windows
Window Cleaning Inside & Out
Screen Repairs, Eavestrough Cleaning
Free Estimates 402-‐6340
20% off or more...
off everything!
Vinyl Roll Ends 50% off
Area Rugs 30% off
and More!
Year End
Sale!
SAVE
NOW
Only till January 31st, 2012
A naturally
healthy choice
for your dog!
Ragged Ear
Raw Pet Food
Call Diane
250-402-2007
Sunday
Jan 29 @ 2:30pm
Prince Charles
Theatre
Advance Tickets:
Black Bear Books
crestonconcertsociety.ca
$22 advance, $25 at the
door, students $10/$12
YES
we are
open
.
ALL
YEAR!!
...presents
Pentaedre
Wind Ensemble
A fabulous five piece
wind ensemble,
presenting diversified
and original chamber
music!
2928 Hwy 3 Erickson
Phone 250-428-5120
Fresh Baking Everyday
(meat & vegetarian)
Wide Variety of Preserves
~ANTIQUES~
Come and check out our
great selection of old stuff!
Come Visit Our Friendly Market
A LITTLE OUT OF THE WAY!

Painting Service
All Aspects of Painting
Residential Commercial
Interior Exterior
Journeyman
Serving the Valley Since 1986
250-‐428-‐0438
Cell 250-‐428-‐6468
MON-FRI: 9:00-5:00
SAT/SUN: on call
1238 NW Blvd 250.428.1721
Creston Valley Rod & Gun Club Annual
WILD GAME DINNER,
FUNDRAISER & TROPHY AWARDS
Saturday Feb 18th at the Rec Centre
4:30pm Doors Open
5:00pm Trophy Presentations
7:00pm Dinner
9:00pm Dance to DJ Music
DOOR PRIZE: .22 Rifle w/variable scope
Tickets available at
Proceeds go to fund the many projects of the
club: Fish & wildlife conservation and habitat
enhancement;; youth and adult outdoor
recreation opportunities;; outdoor recreation
education;; archery and shooting sports.
-
2012 memberships are now due.
Available at the usual outlets.
LOCKS CHANGE AT BOTH THE KIDD CK.
RANGE & MAWSON LAKE ON FEB 1st
--
The ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING OF THE
CRESTON VALLEY ROD & GUN CLUB
will be held on Monday, Feb 6th, 2012
at the Rotacrest Hall at 7pm
All members welcome.
You must be paid up for 2012 to vote.
LETTER
TILES:
Unscramble
the letter
tiles
to reveal a
message.
ANNOUNCEM ENTS
Kootenay Regional Figure Skating Championships:
Friday January 20 (6:30-8:30pm), Saturday
January 21 (8:00am-6:00pm), Sunday January
22 (8:00am-2:30pm). Creston Community
Complex. Free admission. 5
Gospel Music on the Air, Sunday Mornings 8:30
to 10:00. CIDO 97.7FM or www.crestonradio.ca
Your host Elvin Strand. 5
There will be an Erickson History meeting on
Jan 23rd, at the Creston Library, 1pm. 5
Hospital Tuck Shop. Stop by and see our
Unique handmade gift items for all ages. Open
Mon-Fri 9-3. Sat Market 8-12. Find us on
West Creston Hall and/or grounds. Weddings,
parties, meetings, reunions, etc. Full kitchen facilities.
Phone Leona 250-402-6643 or
www.westcreston.info
51v3
Rotacrest Seniors Hall: Dancing every Tues
2-4pm, live music-everyone welcome, $5 at the
door (Bob Holmes 428-8985). Coffee Break-
Wed 10am. Crib-Wed 7pm. Pool-Tue, Wed, Fri,
Sun 1pm (Keith Forseth 428-2255). Bridge-Mon
7pm, Tue 9:45am, Wed 7pm, Thur 1pm, Sat
1pm (Margaret Roy 428-5406).
Hall rentals 428-7127.
s39v8
Announcements ads are $3 for 12 words per
issue (2 weeks) extra words 25 cents each.
-
Mike: Do you remember first meeting
your wife
John: Sure, I found Jill laying facedown
in the gutter. I lifted her to her
feet and promised her that if she
agreed to marry me, she would begin a
the gutter again.
Mike: Wow, I hope she appreciates
what you did for her.
John: Not really. Jill hated to give up
bowling.
PAGE 2
WORD SEARCH
ANDROMEDA, APOGEE, ASTRONOMER,
ATMOSPHERE, BLACKHOLE,
CONSTELLATION, CORONA, CRATER,
ECLIPSE, EQUINOX, GALAXIES,
GALILEO, HUBBLE, LIGHTYEAR,
METEOR, MILKYWAY, MOON,
ORBIT, PERIGEE, POLARIS,
SATELLITE, SOLARSYSTEM,
SPACESTATION,
SUN, SUPERNOVA,
TELESCOPE,
UNIVERSE.
E U N N O X R H U E W A E A N
T S U O N E U O C M M N E P O
I E N M I B L L E E A D G O I
L I I L B T I I T T C R I G T
L X V L A P A S L O E O R E A
E A E M S T Y L R A L M E E T
T L R E O S M O L N G E P B S
A A S T R O N O M E R D L T E
S G E A F A N Z S R T A S I C
M I L K Y W A Y L P C S U B A
A O X O N I U Q E K H E N R P
S P O L A R I S H P M E Q O S
D S U P E R N O V A J O R M C
E P O C S E L E T C R A T E R
Q G E R A E Y T H G I L B U I
Disclaimer: Un-credited stories are from a variety
of sources and are believed to be public domain. If
you hold a copyright on any of these materials
please inform us so we may give the proper credit.
Last Issue Answer: A closed mind is a good thing to lose.
1209 NW Blvd 250-402-6299
INSURANCE CLAIMS
Paint & Body Repairs
Certified Technicians
Free Estimates Safe Quality Repairs
We Set Our Sights Higher!
We Do It Right
Or Not At All
****************
Recovering your kitchen chairs,
dining chairs, lazy-boy chairs,
wing chairs, arm chairs and
YOUR PRECIOUS ANTIQUES
J&F Upholstery
1486 Cardinal Rd.
West Arrow Creek
402-6083

FUN PAPE
Artificial intelligence turns iPhones
and Google Androids into smart
alecs cont from pg 1
Ask it the meaning of life, the universe
erence to the favorite geek book
lot of work has gone into creating the
sarcasm. The Siri group at Apple, one
of its largest software teams, started
with an artificial intelligence project
from SRI International. Now, it continually
fine tunes Siri responses. It attempts
to forge an emotional tie by
regularly using the customer's nickname
in responses, as well as those of
other important people and places in
scribed questions. Computers have
done that for years. Now, they can
carry on conversations about ridiculous
topics. There are several answers to
the same question on the iPhone and
Android.
-
been missing until it arrives.
Answer to Fallen Phrase:
Good friends are hard to find,
harder to leave,
and impossible to forget.
Criss Cross Puzzle
Across:
4. Often kept in
6. Like some vaults
Answers on page 6
Down:
parties
2. One dimensional
3. Cutting tool
NOTE: When emailing ads, DO NOT
include your credit card info in email.
-
A sense of humor is what makes you
laugh at something that would make
you mad if it happened to you.
For the Love Love of Music of Music
Instruction in Pop Style Guitar, Piano & Voice.
10 lesson booster or foundational courses.
Michael Sproule:
Music Major in MacEwan University
250-428-4647 or sproules@kootenay.com
Blended
Drinks
Specialty
Coffees
Homemade
Pies
Homemade
Bread
Gourmet
Sandwiches
Come in and enjoy!
1127 Canyon St. 250-428-9511
FIREWALK
FUNDRAISER
Yahk Winterfest~Saturday Jan 28th
Meet Trever McGhee- World Record
Holder for Fire Walking 597 feet!
Call 250-424-5299 to register to walk
or just show up to witness
an event of a lifetime!
Please bring a donation for The Food Bank
Planning a Trip
Simply Travel is
a Full Service
Travel Agency that
specializes in
SE RV I C E!
Call Wendi at...
Simply Travel
250-428-2843
CPBC#50105
WH Excavating
Will Heykamp
250-402-9528
Pickup Loads
Rotted ManureU-Haul
.
SNOW REMOVAL
Excavating Dump Truck
Rock Hammer Road Bldg
Top Soil Site Preparation
Subdivisions Auger
Bobcat
West Kootenay Radiator
& Auto Repair Service
Radiator System
Flushes
Enclosed Car Storage
401 Payne St. Call Ken 428-0841
A Strong Voice
Standing Up For You
www.michellemungall.ca

HUGE SELECTION of
crisp, unwaxed, locally
grown apples including:
Macs, Spartans, Red Delicious, Golden
Delicious, Gala & Granny Smith for 69¢ lb
Jonagold, Ambrosia & Honeycrisp for 99¢ lb
Get them while supplies last!
Come and enjoy the power of the
Canadian dollar south of the border!
Visit
in scenic Coeur d'Alene, Idaho.
.
your Idaho state sales tax!
Ph. 208-666-1525 Hwy 95 and Dalton Ave
Mon-Sat 9am-6pm Sun 10am-5pm
www.koernerfurniture.com
Full line furniture store featuring our La-ZBoy Comfort Studio
A Caring Hand
Affordable
In Home Care
250 402 8535
We all want to live comfortably
in our homes as
long as we can. A Caring
Hand ,helps make
that possible with a full
range of in home care
services .
2928 Hwy 3
in Erickson
Ph 428-5120
Open 9am-5pm
Knights of Columbus
Valentines Dance
Full Banquet, Bar & Dance
Sat. Feb 11th,
Holy Cross Hall
5:30 Happy Hour
6:30 Dinner
Music by: Full Circle
(Country & Fiddle)
Advance Tickets Only: $20 ea
Cut off Feb9th
For Tickets call: 428-9493 or 428-5835
Dan Larsen B.C. Registered H C A
House keeping
Yard wor k/ lawn cut &
snow removal
G rocery Shopping
Medical appointments
Medication pickup
Medication reminder
Meal prep
Personal care
Respite care
FUN PAPE
Fallen Phrase answer pg3
R E A L EST A T E & F O R R E N T
Need to advertise
Short on Funds
This size Display ad...
One Issue $20+HST
Two Issues $32+HST
(Each issue two weeks long)
For Rent:
ENCLOSED
CAR STORAGE
West Kootenay Radiator 401 Payne St
250-428-0841
Windows & Doors
by MW MILLWORK LTD.
Full Showroom at 1605 NW Blvd!
Vinyl, Clad, Fiberglass Windows
Pricing competitive with anyone!
Garage Doors, Entry Doors,
Shower Doors.
Free Quotes
Installation Available
Call us at 250-402-6455
What are the better promises the
New Covenant is based on
make with the house of Israel after
put my laws into their mind, and
write them in their hearts: and I
will be to them a God and they
Heb 8:10
truebibleanswers@hotmail.com
Wanted to Rent: Urgently needed-3 bedroom
older home, reasonable rent, fenced
yard or one that can be fenced by tenant.
Must be clean. Long term. Good references.
No parties. Text 250-254-1852 or
home 250-428-0231. 5
For Rent: 2 bedroom, ground level, near
downtown walkway. Util. incl, Sat. TV
(movies). 428-4092. 5
For Rent: 3 bedroom house in Erickson,
newly renovated, great view, F/S, no pets,
no smoking. $950 month, utilities extra
plus DD. Available now. References required.
Phone Bill 250-428-6221. 5
For Sale: 3 bedroom, one bath, 1200 sq ft
house on one level acre in Lister. 2 car
garage, workshop, chicken coop. $285,000
428-9884. 7
For Rent: Clean, bright, freshly painted
one bedroom apartment. NP, NS, $475 +
utilities, available immediately.
250-428-9303. 5
House Wanted to Rent: Professional couple
with two small children seeking 3+
bedroom house rental (leased for one year
minimum), close to town. 250-428-1678. 7
For Rent: 1 bdrm apt $750/mo and 1 bdrm
bachelor apt $550/mo. Partly furnished,
W/D, wireless and utilities incl. 10 min
south of C reston. 250-431-8190 or
250-428-4758. Leave message if no
answer. 5
For Rent: Small 2 bdrm house, NS, NP.
Ref req. $675 +util +DD. 250-428-0333. 5
For Sale: Small 2 bedroom house, great
location, great view, 416-8th Ave. S.,
100x50ft lot. $99,500. 428-6187. 5
Wanted: Male requires room mate to
share rental of house. 250-428-7113. 7
Wanted: Looking for a fixer-upper starter
home in or around Creston area. Interested
in all replies. 250-489-2762. 5
For Sale: 1997 14x68 manufactured
home with just finished 12x16 addition. 3
bedroom, one bath, W/D, FS, DW. 8x12
shed. #1 Devonshire Meadows (strata)
(724 Devon St). Larger lot (.14 acres).
$159,000. 428-4593. 5
For Sale: 3 bedroom, 2 1/2 bath, 1800 sq ft
home on 4.74 level acres in Erickson.
330ft Highway 3 frontage. Approx 2 acres
in mixed fruit, lots of garden space.
$599,000. By appointment only.
428-2892 or 428-3578. 15
Classified ads are still just $3 for 12 words
for 2 weeks.
-
Classified and display ads, as well as
puzzles available online at: funpape.com
We still had room for your ad.
Next Time, Save Time,
call in your classified ad!
Ph 250-428-2828 VISA or MC
For Sewage Pumping call Edwin
428-9097
ALL-RITE ROOTER
SE W A G E PU MPIN G
& SALES

There were two mosquitoes watching
happy to lie down and let someone drain
a pint of blood, but if we zoomed down
--
swer a question.
--
You are sitting behind the wheel in a car
keeping a constant speed, on your left
side there is an abyss. On your right side
you have a fire engine and it keeps the
same speed as you. In front of you runs
a pig, larger than your car. A helicopter is
following you, at ground level. Both the
helicopter and the pig are keeping the
same speed as you. What will you need
to do to be able to stop
Answer: Get out of the car, step down
from the merry-go-round and leave your
merry-go-round in the amusement park
is primarily for the younger children.
--
Next Deadline: Monday, Jan 30, 4pm
Answer to Rebus Puzzle
Matinee
Page 5
Sudoku
The rules of Sudoku are simple.
Place a digit from 1 to 9 in each empty cell so
every row, every column, and every 3 x 3 box
contains the digits 1 to 9. Have Fun!!!
During a phone conversation, my
nephew mentioned that he was taking a
psychology course at the university.
-
Classified ads are still only
$3 for 12 words for 2 weeks!!
You can fax your ad with
your credit card info to:
250-428-
Legion Events 428-4252
Jan 21-Saturday Night Dance
Music by C.D. Sounds
Jan 27-Friday Night Supper 6pm (Roast Beef)
Jan 31-Legion General Meeting 7pm
Feb 3-WingsNight at the Legion
Everyone Welcome!
Feb 4-Saturday Night Dance
Music by C.D. Sounds
Feb 5-Pancake Breakfast 8:30am-noon $4
Hall available for parties,
weddings, etc.
Catering available.
LlEeNnNnYy CcRrAaIiGg
HhOoMmEe IiMmPpRrOoVvEeMmEeNnTtSs
AaDdDdIiTtIiOoNnSs
RrEeNnOoVvAaTtIiOoNnSs
RrOoOoFfIiNnGg
GgEeNnEeRrAaLl HhOoMmEe RrEePpAaIiRr
250-254-0197
Licensed Automotive Technician
Ticketed Tire Technicians Locally Owned
Service Truck Farm Service Calcium Fill
Most Major Brands Available
250-428-2000 918 Pine St
Turn East at the Grain Elevators
Professional Animal Care Canine, Feline, Bovine & Equine Health Care
Creston
Veterinary
Hospital
1605 Dogwood St
250-‐428-‐9494
January is
SENIOR PET WELLNESS MONTH
Most dogs and all cats are considered of senior age starting
at 8 years old. These symptoms can be signs of
underlying treatable diseases, rather than normal aging:
Difficulty climbing stairs Increased stiffness or limping
Loss of house training Increased thirst or urination
Excessive panting Changes in activity level
Circling or repetitive movement Persistent vocalization
Decreased responsiveness to owners Tremors or seizures
Skin and hair coat changes Changes in sleeping patterns
Altered appetite Weight change Loss of vision or hearing
JANUARY SPECIALSENIOR WELLNESS PROFILE:
$149.99 plus HST-includes physical exam, blood collection,
thyroid test, general health panel, and urinalysis.
Dr. Robert McLeod Dr. John Pfeffer

All You Can Eat
BUFFET
Fri & Sat, Jan 20 & 21
Lunch 11am-‐1:30pm
Supper 5pm-‐7:30pm
Turkey, Stuffing, Mashed Potatoes,
Gravy, Salisbury Steak, Vegetables, 6
Salads, 2 Soups, Desserts and More!!
Sunday Jan 22
Brunch 10am-‐1pm
Eggs Benedict, Quiche, Bacon,
Sausage, Pancakes, French Toast
and More!
Pick of the Crop Market
2928 Hwy 3 Erickson
250-‐428-‐5120
Adults $9.95 Seniors(60+) $8.95
6-12 yrs $5.95 5 & under free
Seating for up to 50 people
Reservations are appreciated
Page 6
SIMPLY MAZING
Rebus Puzzle
A rebus is a picture representation
of a name, word or phrase.
The puzzle below portrays a common
word or phrase.
Can you guess what it is
(answer on pg 5)
Why does popcorn pop
Popcorn, a variety of Indian corn called
nary corn in that it has a harder outer
shell. As the corn is heated, moisture in
its starchy grains is converted to steam,
causing a tremendous pressure to be
exerted against the shell. The tough shell
stands up under the pressure for a while
but eventually breaks down and the kernel
explodes with such a force that it
throws out its white, pulpy insides, making
an audible popping sound in the process.
sensation from a rocking chair that you
once got from a roller coaster.
Insured & Certified
Call to Book Your Sweep Now
250-866-5246
for more info go to: www.softubcanada.com
Clean & Screened TOP SOIL
$25/yd plus tax
Delivered within town boundaries
Under 8 yards delivery charge added
-
Also All Types of G ravel
at Competitive Prices!
428-1834 or 428-1729
A
MAT
Answer to C riss C ross Puzzle:
Across: 4.Emotions 5.Slams 6.Fireproof
Down: 1.Pinata 2.Linear 3.Razorblade
Paw Prints Pet Grooming
We Bring the Tender Care.
Call for Appt 428-7232
Good Times DJ & Karaoke
Vern Gorham-‐Owner/DJ 250-‐428-‐0305
verngorham@telus.net www.goodtimesdjandkaraoke.ca
B-BOYS SPECIAL PRODUCTS LTD
Cabins Fencing
Landscaping & Construction
428-8975 or 1-250-421-9729
Email: bboyssp@gmail.com
Check out our webpage: www.b-boys.ca
Math Square Answer
7,8,6,3,4,1,2,5,9.
Cleer Books
For all your small business bookkeeping
Carryanne Runions 250-254-0805
cleerbooks@live.ca
Business Profiling, Prorate & IFTA Filings
F eel healthy, look healthy,
B E healthy...naturally
Emotion Code
Reflexology
C ranioSacral Therapy
Lymphatic Drainage
Reiki
Reconnective Healing
K veta A. Jasek
Certified Emotion Code Practitioner
250-866-5677
840 Packing Shed Rd Wynndel
Jasmine Lothien-Professional Counsellor
Free 30 Minute
Initial Consultation
250-402-3262 jasminelothien.com

To Move A Barn cont from pg 1
He also estimated that a steel grid
needed to move the barn would add another
3,150 pounds, bringing the total
weight to just under 10 tons. He figured it
would take around 350 people with each
person lifting 56lbs. to move the barn.
The town of Bruno, Nebraska was planning
its centennial celebration in late July
of 1988. Herman and Mike presented
their barn moving idea to the committee.
The committee decided to make it part of
their celebration. So, on July 30, 1988,
shortly before 11 a.m., a quick test lift
was successfully made. Then, as local
television cameras and 4,000 people
from eleven states watched, 350 people
moved the barn 115 feet south and 6 feet
higher up a gentle slope and set it on its
new foundation. The reason most people
think that something cannot be done is
by themselves.
--
course was almost finished, and the
do when you want to exit from a free-
There was a pause before a woman vol-
--
A livestock truck overturned in my town.
Black and Gus, escaped into the nearby
overturned truck, make those Black An-
--
Need to advertise
Short on Funds
This size Display ad...
One Issue $20+HST
Two Issues $32+HST
(Each issue two weeks long)
CRESTON TRUCK SERVICE LTD
Automotive Oil
Change Special
$59.95 + eco fees & taxes
Includes labour, 5 litres oil
(CHV 5/W20 supreme or 5/W30 supreme)
and oil filter. Offer valid till Jan 31/12
401 Helen Rd 250-428-5321
Page 7
The original Uncle Ben was a black rice
farmer known to rice millers in and
tently delivering the highest quality rice
for milling. Uncle Ben harvested his rice
with such care that he purportedly received
several honors for full-kernel
yields and quality. Legend holds that
other rice growers proudly claimed their
life (including his last name) were lost to
history.
--
Golf was invented in Scotland on October
3, 1262 at 11:15 AM. The very first
golf joke was created at 1:30 PM the
same day.
--
In 1457, King James II of Scotland
banned golf because its popularity threatened
the practice of archery for national
defense. And even today, husbands still
suffer the slings and arrows of wives who
--
The entire congregation came out to
for a mere eight minutes. The next Sun-
-five
minutes. His third sermon was two and a
half hours in duration. The pulpit committee
called the preacher in and asked,
my teeth had just been pulled. My mouth
was sore, so my sermon was short. The
next week, I had my new dentures and I
--
A report says high blood pressure is on
the increase in Canada. Researchers
respondents contacted had gone out for
fast food.
$56
for 4 weeks
(2 issues) is all
that it costs to
advertise in
hottest paper
Call Ed at 428-‐2828 for more details.
Circulation 4000 per edition.
Paper comes out every other Wed.
The above price refers to a business display ad
Yahk winterfest
JANUARY 28th
11am-9pm
Games Music Food
Raffle Hay Rides
Face Painting Prizes
FREE Admission
www.yahkkingsgate.com
250-254-9393
Cabbage Rolls, Borsch
Perogies & More!
Coming Back from
Vacation February 1st
Tues-Sat 11am-8pm Ph 428-7200
2808 Hwy 3 Erickson
SUPPO R T Y O UR L O C A L L E G I O N
Join in the Fun Sat, Jan 21st, 7-11pm
and Dance the Night Away
Dance Music by:
428-2111
C.D. SO UNDS
COUNTRY, OLD TIME
Dance. Dance, Dance.
Non-stop Fun for All!
Western Theme Dinner & Dance
at Rotacrest Hall
Saturday, January 28th
Music by
Cocktails 5:30pm
Dinner 6pm
Dance 7pm
Catering by Della Wilson
Advance Tickets only,
$20, available at
Black Bear Books or call
250-428-8985 or 250-428-2145
Everyone Welcome!
*
WO, WW & SM Drop Off
at Fun Pape
WO=Waste Oil (veg or motor oil)
(tight fitting containers please)
WW=Waste Wood
(nails OK but no drywall, plastic,
insulation, or prunings)
SM=Scrap Metal
(sorry no white goods except Fisher & Paykel)
Call Ed 428-2828 2828 for more info

BU Y I T.
SE L L I T.
F IND I T.
Look to the
Fun Pape Classifieds
Looking For!
MarCare
Kabin Keepers
Specializing in
Kootenay Lake Property
Care & Maintenance
References Available
For more info
250-431-8191
marcarekk@gmail.com
marcarekabinkeepers.com
advertise
somewhere
428.2828
Ask for Ed
A RR O W C R E E K
C O NST RU C T I O N
Why wait for spring.
Build that deck now!
Building it Right...from the Ground Up!
JOE KITTO
Ph 250-428-7274 Cell 250-254-0274
Fresh
Frozen
Organic
Apple
Juice
Available at
Fun Pape
Office M-F 9-4
4L for $6
Page 8
an irrational fear of drafts.
-
It takes 100,000 years for a Red Giant
to change into a White Dwarf. By astronomical
standards, this is practically
instantaneous, a mere one-thousandth
-
Logan, 11 years old, had been ill, requiring
several doctors; visits and tests
before a specialist came up with the
final diagnosis and treatment. Afterwards,
his mother asked him if he understood
what the doctor had ex-
-
Approaching eighty-five years of age,
Mrs. Harris finally decided it was time
to give up her apartment in Regina and
move to Victoria. She was given the
name of a Vancouver Island realtor,
who enthusiastically drove her all over
Victoria, extolling the virtues of every
investment of a lifetime. Why, in ten
-
Some people think its holding on that
ting go.
-
ATTN: DISPLAY ADVERTISERS
Next issue is our Valentines issue!
Display ad deadline is Fri Jan 27
One Loonie + One Toonie
equals
the best value around for your
classified advertising dollar!
WANTED
Clean
Fill.
=================
3109 Hwy 3 Erickson
Call Ed
250-428-2828
THE BUZZARD:
If you put a buzzard in a pen that is 6
feet by 8 feet and is entirely open at
the top, the bird, in spite of its ability to
fly, will be an absolute prisoner. The
reason is that a buzzard always begins
a flight from the ground with a run of 10
to 12 feet. Without space to run, as is
its habit, it will not even attempt to fly,
but will remain a prisoner for life in a
small jail with no top.
THE BAT:
The ordinary bat that flies around at
night, a remarkable nimble creature in
the air, cannot take off from a level
place. If it is placed on the floor or flat
ground, all it can do is shuffle about
helplessly and no doubt, painfully, until
it reaches some slight elevation from
which it can throw itself into the air.
Then, at once, it takes off like a flash.
THE BUMBLEBEE:
A bumblebee, if dropped into an open
tumbler, will be there until it dies,
unless it is taken out. It never sees the
means of escape at the top, but persists
in trying to find some way out
through the sides near the bottom, It
will seek a way where none exists, until
it completely destroys itself.
PEOPLE:
In many ways, we are like the buzzard,
the bat, and the bumblebee. We struggle
about with all our problems and
frustrations, never realizing that all we
swer, the escape route and the solution
to any problem! Just look up.
-
Why are there so many people who will
say you should have known better than
to do that after you do that, But most of
them keep their mouth shut while you
plan to do whatever in front of everybody.
-
Next deadline: Mon Jan 30, 4pm
Need Help
Developing a Web Site
Call Carolyn 250-428-2919
Email: marcarekk@gmail.com
330 & 312 Cat
Excavator For Hire
Road Building Geothermal
Brushing & Clearing Dugouts
Call
Gerald Holt
428-6187
References
Available
32 Yrs Exp

WANTED
Wanted: Older camper, 8ft6in-9ft. 428-8985. 7
Wanted: Bathroom support bars for a senior citizen.
Jim 250-428-2481. 5
Wanted: Low income senior needs table for six,
free or reasonably priced. Also firm small
recliner. 428-0764. 5
Wanted: White fridge and stove, old traps, metal
signs. 250-428-0614. 5
Wanted: 6ft tiller, and chipper, both 3 pt hitch.
250-480-9393. 5
Wanted: Potato harvester and potato planter.
428-9832. 9
Wanted: 15in rims for Tracker or Sidekick.
250-428-9559. 5
Wanted: Cast iron frying pans, skillets, griddles,
dutch ovens. 250-428-0614. 5
Wanted: Biodiesel processing equipment etc.
(prefer small scale 5-20gal) Ed 428-2828. 9
Wanted: 40-48ft reefer van, tandem axle, roadworthy.
250-428-5501. 7
Wanted: 4ft x 8ft enclosed metal trailer for
-866-6882. 5
Wanted: New or partial rolls stucco wire.
428-2892. 5
Will pay cash for good used rock saws or any
lapidary equipment. 250-428-4020. 5
Wanted: Vitamix model 3600 or higher.
428-2828. 51
Will pay cash for rock and gem collections.
250-428-4020. 5
Wanted: 410 shotgun, good cond. 428-2360. 15
Wanted: New/used grey
soffit, fascia and channel. 428-2828. 49
Wanted: Chainsaws, any age, any make, or just
parts, for future chainsaw museum. Donations
are welcome. Non-profit venture by seniors.
428-2360. kg
Wanted: Lister diesel or China diesel engine,
with or w/o generator. 428-2828. 37
A 12 word classified ad is $3.
Extra words 25¢ea. Per issue (2 weeks)
Next deadline: MONDAY Jan 30, 4pm
Trudi Mainville
Independent Consultant CM ID 37425887
For For AALL L L Your Scrapbooking
and Card Making Supplies
250-‐866-‐6833
etfamily@wynndel.ca
www.mycmsite.com/trudi
Dean Bala
Mortgage Broker
DLC Whitehouse Mortgages
Office: 250-402-9839
Cell: 250-402-3903
I work with over 90 different
lenders to find you the best rates.
dean_bala@yahoo.com
www.deanbala.com
One Loonie + One Toonie
equals
the best value around for your
classified advertising dollar!
ROOFING
Page 9
Math Square answers on pg. 6
Use the numbers 1 through 9 to complete the equations.
Each number is only used once. Each row is a math equation.
Remember order of operations; multiplication and
division are done before addition and subtraction.
Fun pape
Sudoku Answer
WANTED
Will pick up unwanted/non-working solar collectors,
wind generators, deep cycle/golf cart batteries,
inverters, electric tractors etc-any condition.
Ask for Ed 428-2828. 49
HONEY DO
list too long
Done
Handyman for Repairs,
Renovations or Construction
-428-
WOLFGANG
STIEF
250-431-8692
Free Estimates
Long
Distance
&
Local
Moving
Res: 866-5760
Ph: 428-6701
House
&
Yard
Maintenance
OVERHEAD DOOR
Company of Creston
Residential
Commercial
For ALL Repairs
& Service Needs
Gordon Hegland
250-402-9818
We Build Quality
Handcrafted Cabinets
& Furniture
Call 250-428-3434
Also install
Blow-in Attic Insulation
We Have Apples
Mac Spartan Gala
Orin Ambrosia
Red Delicious Fuji
Open 7 Days a Week Open All Winter
SHUKIN ORCHARDS
250-428-4884
1½ mi east of Creston on Hwy 3
Rent-a-Hubby
Husband (wife) not very handy
repair a husband (wife) would do.
Also: Renovations, Roofing
Installing Windows
& Doors
Decks & Patios
Eavestrough Cleaning
Dump Runs
Call 428-5123
Cell 402-9432

Beadazzled
LAPIDARY SUPPLIES, PROSPECTING
& GOLD MINING EQUIPMENT
AUTHORIZED DEALER:
Fisher Metal Detectors
Garrett Metal Detectors
Keene Mining Equipment
Desert Fox Mining Equipment
Estwing Prospector Hammers
Lortone Lapidary Equipment
Diamond Pacific
Graves Lapidary Equipment
Inland
Covington Equipment
Cab King
We buy and sell used lapidary
equipment and collections
www.beadazzled.ca
1217 Canyon Street
250-428-4020
FIREWOOD Cut & Split
Delivered, or pick up at
MOUNTAIN PARK RESORT
4020 Hwy 3 250-428-2954
Rita M. Patstone
Certified General Acct
Ph: 250-428-2662
Cell: 250-254-2646
email: ritap_cga@hotmail.ca
Personal Taxes
Corporate Taxes
Business Consulting
Bookkeeping
Your home
or office or
my office in
West Creston
Organic Farm Fresh
EGGS
250-428-8636
Call Jerry Hellens -18 yrs Experience
Ph 428-3062
Cell 428-1695
Page 10
M ISC E L L A N E O US
For Sale: 3ft x 6ft pool table with balls & cues,
$60. 250-428-0511. 5
For Sale: 20in Citizen flat screen TV with new
VHS/DVD player. Both $75 for quick sale. Like
new. 250-428-2938. 5
For Sale: Queen size mattress, good condition,
clean, $75. Call eve & weekends 250-254-0168
or 250-254-1207. 5
For Sale: New bee equipment-supers, frames,
tops, bottoms. 250-428-2665. 7
Wanted: Bathroom support bars for a senior
citizen. Jim 250-428-2481. 5
For Sale: dining room table, solid teak with
6 chairs. Table extends to seat 6 to 8 people.
Chairs are newly refinished in blue
fabric. $300. Call 866-8663. 5
For Sale: Weslo treadmill, 0-10mph, $150.
428-9884. 7
For Sale: 8ft x 8ft wood garage door, complete,
one window panel, $50. MF 35 tractor,
3 pth, $2500. 250-402-3600. 5
For Sale: Modern glass TV table $150.
Double bed box spring & mattress $100.
Wood glass end table $50. Computer chair
$20. Ford tailgate box extender $100.
428-3494. 5
For Sale: Busy Bee floor mount drill press,
5/8 capacity, 12 speed, $350. Busy Bee
metal cutting band saw $250. Belt & disc
sander, 6x48 belt, 9in disc, $400. All Trade
bench mounted drill press, 5 speed, 24x20
table, 2 way vise, $200. Belt sander grinder
$150. Vise-6in swivel grinder $150. Vise-
4in milling machine vise $150. Black &
Decker 8in bench grinder, no grinding
stones, $40. 4in bench vise $50. 4in milling
machine vise $50. Rapid parts cleaner
$300. Polishing well w/motor, shop built,
$50. 250-428-3432. 5
Next Classified Deadline:
Monday Jan 30, 4pm
3LS
WATER SYSTEMS
.
Pumps Flow Testing
Pressure Systems
Water Conditioning
Commercial Chlorination
Systems
~Sales & Service~
John & DeAnna Ward
250-428-9998
250-402-0079
Tree Topping Limbing
Dangerous Tree Removal
Falling
Mobile Chipping Available
Free Estimates Fully Insured
M ISC E L L A N E O US
For Sale: Medi-lift chair, 3 position, vinyl, guaranteed,
$175. 250-223-8500. 5
For Sale: Tool chest $25. Roll away cabinet $25.
428-9688. 5
For Sale: Pine beams, 4x6 to 6x8, 8ft to 16ft,
starting at $6 ea. 1x6 and 1x8, 8ft to 16ft, starts at
$2.50ea. Custom cutting also available. Organic
wheat, rye, korazan. 428-3349. 7
For Sale: 21in Yard machine snow blower, electric
start, top condition, $200. 250-428-0132. 5
For Sale: Winemaking equipment/supplies. 1-
44L carboy $25. 3-20L carboys $10ea. Fermentation
pail with lid and other equip $20. Brass
faucet bottle cleaner $15. Bottle sulphier $15.
Bottle tree $20. 2 hydrometers with jars $10 ea.
Floating thermometer $10. 2 older Euro filters
with 26 pads $40 for all. Air locks-fit 4 litre bottles,
some screw top and some with rubber bung,
take all for $20. 5 carboy air locks with bung,
take all for $10. 11.5 dozen 750ml wine bottles,
take all for $65. Also misc supplies-corks $10,
shrink tops $5, sani cleaner $10. Please call
Darren .250-428-8715. 5
For Sale: Cherry wood for firewood or woodworking
projects. Bring your pickup and chain
saw. $40 a load. Paul 250-866-5247. 5
For Sale: Hard spring wheat for feed, 40lb bag
$9; cleaned for flour 40lb bag $15. 428-7351 or
428-6788. 5
For Sale: Ladies size 4-6, 2in1 waterproof purple
winter coat. Gray/black reversible inner coat.
Like new, worn once, mint condition. $30 obo.
Call 428-2828 ask for Diana. 1
Will pay cash for rock and gem collections.
250-428-4020. 49
Will pay cash for good used rock saws or any
lapidary equipment. 250-428-4020. 49
Estate Sale: Two twin Niagara adjustable beds,
one $500, one $800 mint cond, or $1200 for both.
50in Hitachi TV with stand, rear projection, $100
firm.428-2828. 49
For Sale: Tub clamp grab bar $25.
Raised toilet seat w/arms $30. 250-428-3578 49
Erickson Community Association
General Meeting
will be held on Tuesday,
January 31st at 7pm
at the Doukhobor Hall,
3411 E rickson Rd
Guest speaker, Jasmine Lothien,
will give a presentation on Transition
Communities. All Erickson residents
are welcome to attend. Come out and
spend an evening with your friends
and neighbors.
Ron Hurry
Master Goldsmith
Buying Old GOLD!
Paying
Excellent
Prices! =$
or recycle to make
a New Creation!
at Cresteramics
1022 Canyon St 250-428-5538

MISCELLANEOUS FOR SALE
For Sale: Feed oats and barley, 60lb bag $6.
428-7351 or 428-6788. 7
For Sale: 15 speed BRC boys bike, used very
little. 250-866-5273. 5
For Sale: Self cleaning gas range in good condition,
$200. 428-7329. 5
For sale: Far-Infrared sauna, B100 by Saunatec.
Like new! Asking $1700. 250-402-6727. 5
For Sale: White Maytag fridge, works great.
Used only 2 years. 61inH x 28inW x 28inD
(19.25 cu ft) Paid $850, asking $550. To view
call 250-254-0168 or 250-402-6383. 5
For Sale: Pack-n-Play pen $30. Highchair $20.
Baby gates (3) $10 ea. 7ft cedar Fold-away
Christmas tree with stand. Great looking artificial
Christmas tree. Save a few trees! $75.
Please phone 250-428-8715. 5
Will pay cash for good used rock saws or any
lapidary equipment. 250-428-4020. 5
For Sale: Free range eggs near town. 428-8830. 5
Will pay cash for rock and gem collections.
250-428-4020. 5
For Sale: Framed petti point pictures.
428-3578. 51
For Sale: Attention woodworkers - 1x6 x 2ft±
boards, 25¢ each. Available at Fun Pape office,
3107 Hwy 3 Erickson. 428-2828 9
Classifieds ads - 12 words for $3, per issue
Next Classified Deadline: Mon Jan 30, 4pm
Next Display Ad Deadline: F riday Jan 27
Call for Display ad pricing 428-2828.
Eyebrows. Pom pom on hat larger.
Mouth on penguin. Design on scarf.
Trunk on left tree. Left wing smaller.
Cloud on right changed. Tree on right
taller. Shoes darkened. Nose missing.
Snowflake added on right. Eyes larger.
Trunk added on right tree. Exclamation
point missing. Bottom of sign
added.
CRYPTOGRAM
21
Figure out the phrase.
Page 11
G I V E A W A Y
Giveaway: GE wall oven and flat top
stove. 250-428-2938. 5
Giveaway: Chesterfield, VG shape, stereo
turntable, come and get it. 428-9884. 7
F O UND
SOLD!
Found: IPod found at 7-Eleven. Call to indentify
428-3578. 5
Y A RD SA L ES/G A R A G E SA L ES
Estate/Garage Sale: Bedroom suite, coffee
tables, lamps, furniture etc. 519-10 Ave S.
Sat Jan 21, 9-2. 5
Classified Ad Deadlines-every second Monday
Display Ad Deadlines-every second Friday
New Fun Pape Hours: M-F 9-4
Thanks for Making The Fun Pape
Did you know 4000
get distributed every two weeks
office, 3107 Hwy 3, Erickson
funpape.com is back online
but without the stories...
A sign at a fast food restaurant reads:
Fascinated, I decided to give them a
try. I was dismayed when the basket of
fries was dripping with fat from the
-
Next deadline: Mon Jan 30, 4pm
Last Issue Answer: A friend is one who walks in
when the rest of the world walks out.
fix
We
computers
E D A L
COMPUTER CENTRE
215-33 Ave. S. (Hwy 3) Erickson
250-428-4419
Valley View Baptist Church
Jude 21
SUNDAY
Morning Worship
WEDNESDAY
Pastor Jeff Friesen
234 36 Avenue N. 428-4861
-
CLASSIFIED AD RULES
Private ads only (no business related*):
12 words, $3 per issue. Extra words 25¢ each.
Bolded words 50¢ each. Includes HST. Drop off
ads at 3107 Hwy. 3 Erickson, at the office (VISA,
MC, or DEBIT) or ad drop box, or phone in ads,
428-2828 and pay by VISA or MC
(50¢ extra charge-if ad total less than $10)
Businesses will need to purchase a
DISPLAY AD first before using classifieds.
* exception-farming, if no similar display advertiser
The publisher reserves right to accept or reject any ad
- Economical
- Total
Coverage
- Convenient
- Exclusive
- Accepted
Greater
Creston
Home Based
Business
Directory
Spring & Summer
2012
24 years serving Creston & area!
If you operate a business
based out of your home, call
Cindy at 428-2828 to advertise
in the only business directory
exclusively for home based
business people.
DEADLINE: March 2nd, 2012
24 years serving Creston & area!
Heating & Ventilation
Full Range of Heat Pumps,
Air Conditioners & Ductless Heating Systems
High Efficiency Wood Stoves & Stove Pipe
Stainless Steel Railings
Custom Made to Your Specs
250-866-5247 250-402-8957
bookkeeping & payroll services
Melanie Bright
250.254.0434
Visit our new location,
upstairs at 1118 Canyon St
(in the Pharmasave Bldg)
Let us worry about it!

Affordable Accounting Solutions
Ph 250-402-6277
Fax 250-428-2067
1005 Canyon St.
denne@denneahlefeldcga.ca
The Right H ome
Right H e re
Right N ow
Looking for a
new home at an
affordable price
Consider
Stratford Homes.
Customer satisfaction starts with a qualitymade
home, complete with a 10 year
structural warranty. Stratford Homes
manufactures custom modular homes to
your specifications, offering beautiful floor
plans, designed to fit your individual needs.
Volume purchases of high quality materials
and the use of efficient production methods
passed on to you.
Tom Morris-Authorized Builder/ Dealer
Serving the Kootenays
Acron Construction Creston BC
250-428-2071
MUCH MORE
Than a Welding Shop!
Come inside the STORE...
We have everything from
EXPANDED MARINE
INVENTORY
ATV Supplies
Lawn Mowers & Trimmers
Tillers & Chain Saws
Boat Repairs
Safety Clothing
.
we can get it!
COMFORT
WELDING LTD
120 Collis St
428-7464
VEHICLES and Related Goods
For Sale: 1999 Chev Astro van, 7 pass,
207,000km. Good cond inside and out. $2800
obo. 250-428-4000. 5
For Sale: 2005 Toyota Matrix XR, 179,000km,
standard, loaded. c/w snows on rims. $8000 obo.
250-428-8460. 5
For Sale: 1981-84 Ford pickup parts.
250-428-4000. 5
For Sale: 1995 F150XL, 302, 5 spd std, 4x4, ext
cab, canopy, $3200. 428-9884. 7
For Sale: 8x10 tilt deck skidoo/quad trailer with
hand winch, $1500 obo. 250-428-8460. 5
Estate Sale: 1988 Ford F250, V8, standard, 4x4,
needs TLC, $1100. 428-2828. 9
I had moved to Saskatchewan from Alberta,
and at that time a vehicle inspection
was required to register my car. I was nervous;
my car was in rough shape. I thought
Any number of problems might turn up that
would be expensive to fix. I drove down a
country road and found a garage that had
an inspection sign. When I told the mechanic
what I needed, he circled the car,
turned on the lights and honked the horn.
Then he attached a new sticker and asked
AUCTION
Wed. Jan 25th 7pm
740 Industrial Rd #1
Cranbrook
TOOLS, FURNITURE
COLLECTIBLES
AABCO Auction
250-426-0416
Oooops! I knew I
should have had
that mattress
fixed.
2012
VEHICLES and Related Goods
For Sale: 2005 30ft Okanagan 5th wheel, fully
loaded, 4 season. 2004 Duramax, fully loaded,
4dr, shortbox, 180,000km. $45,000 for both.
1-250-937-9146. 7
For Sale: 2002 Ford Taurus, 130,000km, 2 sets
new tires, new transaxles and front brakes. $5500
firm. 250-402-6612. 5
For Sale: Low Rider tonneau cover, fits GM or
Chev from 99-07 shortbox, $200.
250-428-0108. 7
For Sale: 2005 PT Cruiser, 55,000km, new tires,
new battery. $7900. 250-402-6612. 5
For Sale: Massey side bar mower $500. Troybilt
rototiller $500. 135 gal Tidy Tank $100. Goodyear
tractor tire 13.6-24 $250. Cedar hot tub
$2500. 33ft Holiday trailer $2500.
250-866-5582. 5
For Sale: 2007 Yaris, 4dr, 4 Michelin X-Ice
snow tires, $7950. John Harrison 250-428-9630.
For Sale: Three 1977 El Caminos, best offer.
1970 Chev pick up, 350 motor, $6000 obo.
428-7003. 5
For Sale: 1978 Chev station wagon, best offer.
1984 Chev Astro ext van, best offer. 428-7003. 5
For Sale: Four new, never mounted Firestone
Winterforce 265/75R16 studded 4 ply, $750 obo.
250-254-0952. 7
For Sale: 1979 Chev Malibu, 4 dr, $150 obo.
1977 Sierra 4x4 pickup $500 firm. 428-7003. 5
For Sale: 1956 Chev fenders and hood, 6 cylinder,
extra short box, best offer. 428-7003. 5
For Sale: Four Mastercraft snow tires,
235/75R15, used one winter, $400.
250-428-8840. 5
For Sale: 1990 Bronco II 4x4 auto, 220,000km,
front brakes, drive shaft, water pump @
200,000km, $1500 obo. 1990 Skidoo Safari
250cc, $800 obo. 1987 Yamaha Enticer 340cc,
$1000 obo. 1996 Yamaha Big Bear 4x2 ATV
350cc, 3100km, $3500 obo, includes snowblade,
extra tires. 250-866-5274. 5
Kepke Excavating
NEW-Dump Box Trailer Rental
Call Ron Kepke
Ph 250-428-4306 Cell 250-428-1973