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14 Thursday 30 June 2005 Culture & CUSTOMS www.theflorentine.net All of the articles found in the following pages are written by independent collaborators. The Florentine seeks to publish stories that are interesting, entertaining, and useful to all of our readers. If and when a writer expresses opinions within his or her work those opinions should be considered to be those of the writer and not necessarily those of the publishers of this newspaper. If you wish to submit articles for consideration please contact us at redazione@theflorentine.net. Sex and Our City: “Italian Girls are Easy Too!” by Tova Piha “No, you’re wrong,” a friend recently told me. “Italian girls are easy too.” I countered with a sceptical look. This was news to me. And I’d certainly met un sacco di gente who would be equally incredulous. “So why is it that I’m always hearing about the girls here being so dificili” I ventured, trying to get to the bottom of the disparity in opinion. “They’re difficult, yes, difficult to meet, difficult to get to know.” I nodded. That I had heard. While female students studying abroad here rarely complain about a scarcity of Italian men, their male counterparts lament the seeming absence of Italian women on the prowl. “Where are they hiding” a friend from home, studying here for a few months, threw his hands up, a third in jest, two thirds in frustration, when I met him for a drink. Well, for one, he certainly wasn’t going to find them in the studenty Irish pubs he frequented for their 5-euro pitchers. But even if he did zone in on the “right” places, the “Italian” nightspots, he would only be able to admire these beautiful women from a distance. And not because he’s American, but because Italian women generally don’t go to bars to meet guys. They’re just out for a drink with good friends, often in a mixed boy-girl group that has been tight for ages, known in Italian as a collettiva, and so they are impossible to approach. Not that they wouldn’t chat to a colleague or someone they’d been introduced to at a party the previous week, should they run into them, but meeting strangers for potential hook-ups, dates, and relationships is not on the agenda. In Italy, there’s a “way” to do most things, a come si fa and a come non si fa, and meeting boys at bars falls neatly into the latter category. In the States, a single girl dresses up, goes out with one or two girlfriends on a similar mission, scans the bar/ club/lounge for someone she finds attractive, and then proceeds to smile at and make seductive eyecontact with said guy until he moseys on over and buys her a drink. The possibilities are then endless, though admittedly limited both to the types of guys at bars and to the scope of their intentions. Here, on the other hand, to meet each other, an Italian girl and an Italian guy need to be properly introduced by a mutual friend or acquaintance, they need to be presentati, presented to one another. Apparently, even a potential mate need be racommandato. Once the proper introductions have been made, I imagine the possibilities are endless for them as well. This difference in customs may Dear Readers, not seem significant, but while we foreigners complain about how hard it is to meet people in our respective countries, Italians have it that much harder. They have to wait to be introduced. They have to wait to be met. In college these days, girls putting out at frat parties ruin it for the rest of us because guys, not having to take girls out on dates anymore to get laid, simply don’t bother with the “effort” of dating while at school. (You’d be shocked at the number of coeds who have never been on the classic dinner and a movie date.) Similarly, we foreign girls ruin it for Italian women, and just as my Jewish friend due to the normal summer slow down in Florence, we have decided on a limited publication schedule as follows: July 7th July 21st August 4th September 8th Audrey gets upset every time she meets a nice Jewish boy who’s got an Asian girlfriend, I imagine Italian women are none too pleased. My first Italian teacher here, obviously in frequent contact with foreigners, understood the problem, and, being in the unusual situation of having a boyfriend as well as a bevy of male friends, had taken upon herself the crucial responsibility of introducer, of matchmaker. Little did she realize that her nickname, Miss Match, did not bode well for the matches she was making! At the end of the day though, it’s all well and good to talk about meeting people not in bars, but these nightspots have become collectively designated as contemporary meeting places not without reason: people were having trouble meeting each other elsewhere. For the most part, gone are the days of dance halls and small, tight-knit communities, in which you married your high school sweetheart or the boy next door. And while Italian guys think it sucks that Italian girls are so hard to meet, it’s not exactly peachy for the girls either. Indeed, they, just as constrained by the “wait to get introduced” custom, tend to begrudge the fact that the foreign girls who invade their city don’t have to play the game by the same rules. Then again, at least they’re not widely known as “easy,” even though, according to my friend, they are, once you’ve surpassed the difficulty involved in meeting them. Tova Piha, a 22 year old New Yorker and a graduate of Washington University in St. Louis, has been living and working in Florence, exploring the city’s ins and outs, for the past 9 months.
www.theflorentine.net Life in Italy 15 Thursday 30 June 2005 Culture & CUSTOMS ITALIAN VOICES: A Window on Language and Customs in Italy... “Entrata Libera” by Linda Falcone “May I show you something else, Madam..” The shoppers who flock to Florence from all over the world come with the strange misconception that shopping in Italy is fun. Armani’s class, Ferragamo’s craftsmanship, a bit of Versace sparkle, and a dash of Valentino red might make you think so. Fun, however, is not exactly the word I would use. Intimidating is more like it. Baffling might work. Not that any of us usually admit it. Telling people that shopping in Italy is more excruciating than enjoyable is like going to a Christmas party and telling your host’s five-year old that there is no Santa Claus. Besides, visiting shoppers are generally too anxious to fill their new Gucci luggage with San Lorenzo leather to be bothered with the likes of me and my Italian shopping traumas. So, go ahead, immerse yourself body and soul in the joys of a city-centre shopping spree. It usually only takes about three “Entrata Libera” signs before you’ll start wondering: “Free entrance What exactly do they mean by that After all, these are shops not museums. They certainly don’t expect you to pay an entrance fee just for browsing, do they” Well, no. The Entrata Libera “ The Entrata Libera signs are there because there is actually no word for “browsing” in Italian.” signs are there because there is actually no word for “browsing” in Italian. The concept of walking into a store without the slightest idea of what you will find in there, or if you’ll want to buy something once you find out, is a relatively new idea in Italy. And indeed, phantom shopping is not choice Italian entertainment. Let’s just say that Italians don’t find anything fun about picking through overstuffed clothes racks to find a bargain. Not that there are too many overstuffed racks or bargains in Italy to begin with. Mostly, when Italians walk into a shop, they go with a purpose. Prior to stepping inside, Italians will closely scrutinise the shop window and memorise everything that the store has in stock. For most Italians this process takes about 3.5 seconds and is especially effective because most of the smaller shops display all of their merchandise in the window. Therefore, there’s really no reason to browse. It’s all right there, for the whole strolling world to see. “I want a pair of black trousers, size forty-two, wool-cotton mix, low waist, no pockets, narrow legs, crease in front, and hem turned up at the bottom, per favore,” is what Italians say when they march into a store ready to make their purchase. Is there any room for browsing in all that Basically, in a society of secure shoppers and fashion experts, the Entrata Libera sign was designed to give customers permission to be indecisive. Does this mean that most Italian shopkeepers expect you to buy just because you timidly venture over their threshold In Florence, probably not. In an international city like this one, most clerks have probably had to get used to the idiosyncrasies of foreign shoppers who touch everything and buy nothing. Francesca, a shop assistant in one of Florence’s many specialty shops, explained, “At first it was shocking to see people wander into the shop and pull things off shelves without so much as a glance at me. It was like having someone come into my house and rummage through my drawers! But I have finally understood,” continued Francesca with a smile, “that many foreign customers are used to looking with their hands. In Italy we talk with our hands, but look with our eyes. It takes a little while to get used to, ma va bene, it’s okay, because it proves the world is a varied place.” So happy shopping! But next time you are tempted to mosey liberamente into a central boutique, prepare yourself psicologicamente before entering. Then just march right in there with a click in your step and demand (yes demand) to see the tailored cotton collared shirt with the pink and green butterfly motif you saw hanging in the window. The clerk will ask, “Che misura” You will unflinchingly respond “Una 44.” And you will be sure to have made a friend.
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