What God Joined Together - Family Radio

Likewise, the husband at times may feel burdened by the new
responsibilities of having a wife. He, too, has left the freedoms of the single
state. Now he feels fettered to his wife. He knows he should always care for
her and always want the best for her. Consciously or subconsciously, he may
have moments when he wishes he did not have the responsibility of a wife.
Thus, there will be times of misunderstanding and quarreling, but they have
each other, and each one is still number one in the eyes of the other.
Then the first baby comes. The husband is so proud. Just think — He is the
father. And the wife is radiant with the joy of being a mother.
Along with the beautiful baby comes another problem. The wife is “oh, so
happy” in her motherhood, but a great amount of her time, energy, and
affection must be given to this precious infant. She feels tremendously
fulfilled as she showers her love and affection on her baby.
The husband, too, loves his new baby. But soon, he begins to realize he is
no longer number one. The baby has become number one in his wife’s love and
affection. If he is mature and responsible, he will understand that there is much
more to marriage than just having a loving, submissive wife. One of the most
important aspects of marriage is the bringing forth of children, which is God’s
method of continuing the human race so that God’s purposes can be worked
out on this earth. In other words, two people who marry each other should
understand that a major obligation of marriage is the matter of children.
Married couples avoid or delay the responsibility of children by the use of
birth control devices, but the sinful practice of birth control is not the subject
of this study.
If the husband is immature in the matter of children (and most husbands
are, to some degree), the problem can have devastating results in the marriage.
He is no longer the center of his wife’s attention. While his wife still loves him
and submits herself to his attentions, it seems that she always has the baby on
her mind. A competitor is in the house, one who seems to compete for his
wife’s affections, and she gladly shares her affections with the little
competitor.
Then the second baby comes. Now the wife’s attention is even further
diverted from her husband. The demands of caring for the children, in addition
to all of the other domestic responsibilities, leave little energy and concern
for the marriage bed. The husband feels more left out than ever. His manhood
is being terribly threatened. His wife seems to have become much less
responsive to his needs. It seems there is nothing he can do about it.
Wonderfully, in many marriages the husband recognizes his own
selfishness and realizes that he must focus his eyes upon his own
responsibilities as a parent rather than on his selfish desires with his wife. In
these cases the family ties are strengthened by the arrival of children.
Unfortunately, in some marriages the husband does not see his
selfishness. All he knows is that he has a wife who does not submit to him the
way she did when they were first married. He, therefore, begins to withdraw
from his wife. He begins to spurn the intimacies of the marriage bed.
42 What God hath joined together...