What God Joined Together - Family Radio

Chapter 9
COURTSHIP
The potential awfulness of a marriage between a believer and an unbeliever
is so great that a word of caution must be directed to those who are thinking
about marriage. How careful must a person be who is unmarried and who is
becoming romantically inclined toward someone The answer is that he must
be exceedingly careful.
It is of absolute importance that each knows as much about the other as
possible before marriage. Dating and engagement as we know them in our land
are designed to provide time to acquire this knowledge.
TAKE CARE WHOM YOU DATE
Obviously, if a person discovers that the other person is divorced and their
spouse is still living, then it is foolish to date that person. Even if the divorced
person has become a beautiful child of God, marriage should not take place.
Even if the divorce took place before the person became saved, there cannot
be remarriage. It would be exceedingly reckless to date such a person. It would
place huge temptation before both persons.
Before two people become romantically interested in each other, it is
imperative that they pay careful attention to the spiritual condition of the
potential partner. How awful it would be if one person seemed to be saved but
after the honeymoon, the saved spouse discovered that their mate was unsaved.
If on the first few dates the saved person finds no substantial evidence that
the other person is a child of God, then dating should cease. Romantic love has
a way of blinding people more than they are willing to admit. Because an
unsaved person can seem to be interested in Christian things and can have many
attractive qualities, it is easy to focus only on attractive qualities.
Many a wife, who has discovered after the wedding that she was married
to an unsaved man, had not been careful enough when she dated. She might have
realized at first that all was not spiritually well with the handsome man she was
dating, but as she became increasingly attracted to him, she began to
rationalize about what he could become. Surely, she reasons, her influence is
so great in his life that if he is not saved, she will witness to him and pray for
him, and he will eventually become saved. Meanwhile, she becomes more and
more blinded by romantic love.
She has already violated two important rules. First, dating, engagement,
and marriage are not missionary endeavors. If she wants to minister to the
unsaved, there are thousands of people around her who need her witness. The
arena of romance is not the place for missionary work; it is designed to
provide, by God’s grace, a godly marriage. This must remain the single focus
of the dating agreement.
46 What God hath joined together...