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What God Joined Together - Family Radio

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There are instances wherein a child of <strong>God</strong> has had the glad experience of<br />

seeing a steady date become saved. These unusual exceptions provide no<br />

sound basis for a believer to date an unbeliever because so many emotions are<br />

involved in romantic love. Unless there is clear, immediate, and continuing<br />

evidence that the one being dated is a child of <strong>God</strong>, the only wise action is to<br />

cease dating right away.<br />

Suppose at the start of dating there is good evidence that he is not a child<br />

of <strong>God</strong>, but the dates continue because many attractive qualities can be seen<br />

in him. The Christian knows the importance of salvation and encourages the<br />

unsaved person to read the Bible, and pray. Because the unsaved person is<br />

falling in love with the saved person, he increasingly tries to please her. She,<br />

as the saved person, will become increasingly convinced that <strong>God</strong>’s Spirit is<br />

working in the heart of her steady date. After all, why does he appear to be so<br />

interested in the Bible<br />

At times he says or does things that are quite alien to a saved person, but<br />

because she is falling in love with him, she overlooks her fears and tries to see<br />

<strong>God</strong>’s grace in his life. When parents and friends express concern, she will not<br />

listen. By the time she has fallen in love, she has convinced herself that <strong>God</strong>’s<br />

grace is present in his life. She is sure that after they are married, he will grow<br />

in the things of the Lord.<br />

So they marry each other. Now he has her as his wife. By the time the<br />

honeymoon is over, he knows he does not have to try as hard to please her.<br />

Going to fellowship and studying the Bible bore him, and he soon ceases doing<br />

these things. The bride discovers to her utter consternation that she is married<br />

to an unsaved husband. She realizes, too, that she is married to him until death<br />

parts them.<br />

Because her husband does not care about <strong>God</strong>’s rules against divorce,<br />

there is a strong likelihood that when he gets tired of living with a wife who puts<br />

a high premium on going to fellowship and reading the Bible, he will seek a<br />

divorce. This may come after the family has grown to include several children.<br />

So the believing wife becomes divorced. According to the Bible, she may<br />

never marry again as long as her husband lives. In his rebellion against <strong>God</strong>, he<br />

marries someone else, and she is left with the heavy responsibility of rearing<br />

the children.<br />

Unfortunately, this sad scenario is being repeated again and again in our<br />

day. If only those who are free to marry would realize the enormous<br />

consequences of marriage! One can never be too careful in deciding whom to<br />

date.<br />

Some may argue that dating is quite innocent and does not necessarily have<br />

to point to marriage. But all dating, however innocuous, superficial, and<br />

innocent it may appear to be, is a preliminary step toward marriage. Ordinarily,<br />

every marriage begins with a first date. Dating is a ritual that prepares the<br />

couple for a successful marriage.<br />

Therefore, during courtship the chief focus should be on spiritual<br />

concerns, such as: <strong>What</strong> is salvation <strong>What</strong> does it mean to be born again<br />

<strong>What</strong> is the true Gospel <strong>What</strong> about the education of children <strong>What</strong> kind of<br />

Chapter 9 / Courtship<br />

47

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