Thesis statement examples - Writing Center - Walden University

Practical Skills: Thesis Statements
Live Practice
By the Walden University Writing Center
Responses to Thesis Example 1
Although they might find cheaper prices at large chain stores outside of town, residents who
shop at smaller neighborhood stores support the local economy of the community.
[A bit more specific here than the original—it specifies that this supports the local economy.]
Shopping in small neighborhood stores contributes to the vibrancy of local community based
businesses.
[Different claim: contribution is to the vibrancy of the community. The how of this, though,
could be made more specific.]
Although they might find cheaper prices at large chain stores outside of town, residents who
shop at smaller neighborhood stores support their local communities by making purchases
within the local communities by supporting them economically.
[The how here could be a little bit clearer and more concise, but the author is on the right track
with this thesis.]
Responses to Thesis Example 2
Using Boswell's ethical framework, the nurse in the case study is able to evaluate a confusing
ethical situation. This will provide a mechanism to determine a course of action thus avoiding
potential negative outcomes.
[Mentions a specific framework and has a clear claim. Uses two sentences, which is perfectly
okay! Sentence two could be a bit more specific (especially regarding the pronoun This) but
otherwise does a great job of completing the thesis.]

The nurse in this case study is able to evaluate a confusing ethical situation and determine a
course of action; I will show that by drawing an ethical framework reveals a variety of reliable
sources to avoid potential negative outcomes.
[Could be a bit more concise, but it uses a smart strategy: breaking the thesis up into smaller
pieces.]
Responses to Thesis Example 3
In this paper, it will be shown how water management agreements by the governors of the
desert states of California, Nevada, Arizona, and New Mexico have been reached which limit
use and guide the sharing of the resource.
[Could more clearly connect the what with the how. Could also be made a little more concise
with the use of active voice. The fundamentals here are strong, though!]
Scarce water resources in California, Arizona, Nevada, and New Mexico have encouraged
collaborations between the Governors that will manage and allocate water supplies in order to
ensure long-term sustainability.
[Really concise: does what it needs to in few words!]