15 July 2011 Volume: 21 Issue: 13 North Korea's ... - Eureka Street

Volume 21 Issue: 1315 July 2011Cucumbers and climate change deniersBY THE WAYBrian MatthewsFrancisco Sosa Wagner, a Spanish member of the European Parliament, enjoys a modestfame as a doctor of law, university professor, historian, and prize-winning writer. His columnson European political, legal and other topics appear regularly in the Spanish press, and he wasawarded the Medal of the Order of Saint Raymond of Peñafort for his outstandingcontributions to the field of justice and the law.His European Parliament profile shows him to be a conscientious attendee of the plenarysessions (103 out of a possible 109 days); he has asked 28 parliamentary questions, delivered15 plenary speeches, contributed to the amendment of 13 reports and given two opinions.A fit-looking 65, stylishly bow-tied and coiffed, dignified but with the trace of an impishsmile, Wagner might not bestride the European Parliament like a colossus, but he is clearly notto be taken lightly or in any way disrespectfully. All of which makes the most famous andrecent photograph of him initially puzzling and certainly surprising.Wearing one of his trademark colourful bow ties, Francisco Sosa Wagner, MEP, is standingat his parliamentary desk holding at head height a long green cucumber. His message: ‘Weneed to restore the honour of the cucumber!’It may not have been one of his more telling or resonant speeches — though it was surelyhis briefest — but it was topical because the cucumber had, of course, been grievouslybesmirched when identified — wrongly — as the cause of the recent deadly E.coli outbreak inGermany.It’s fairly difficult to look dignified and serious while brandishing a cucumber. Cucumbersare themselves vaguely comic and are central to innumerable phallic jokes and claims. Wavingone of these priapic evocations above your head is bound to have a deflating and distractingeffect on your spoken message no matter how passionate, powerful and apposite your wordsmight be.But it is a measure of Wagner’s dedication to the cause that he was prepared to risk ridiculeand, perhaps, deliberate misinterpretation both of his motives and his imagery, to rescue theinnocent vegetable. Anyway, it worked. His dramatic fist-full of penile cucumis sativusprompted further investigations which exonerated the inoffensive cowcumber, as it was oncecalled, and pointed the finger at fenugreek sprouts imported from Egypt.The Spanish MEP’s willingness to risk his dignity and credibility in an apparently eccentriccause reminded me of Vyacheslav Ilyin, whose story I came across in a dentist waiting roomcopy of New Scientist a few years ago.©2011 EurekaStreet.com.au 23