Apple Dipped in Honey: For a Sweet New Year! - Jews in Green

NATIONALLiberator.IDancing With the TorahBy Jay LitvinI was first called for an aliyah tothe Torah at the age of thirty-six. I wasin a Chabad house in Milwaukee,Wisconsin and a stranger to the groupof regulars filling the room, save forRabbi Yosef Samuels, who had invitedme. It was a short walk from my seatto the reading table. But in that briefperiod of time I became very anxiousabout what would be expected of me.I recalled the synagogue that Iattended infrequently as a boy, wherethe Ark stood in front of a large, sterileroom, and only the richest, mostinfluential members were called torecite the blessings before the Torah.In my boyhood, Judaism was veryformal and distant, surrounded byceremony void to me of meaning orsubstance. The Torah in thesynagogue of my youth was a thingremoved, without relevance to my andto my family's daily life. Never before,in my 36 years of life, had I seen theinside of a Torah scroll.I was not expecting to be called tothe Torah this Shabbat morning inMilwaukee's Chabad House. Ihesitatingly approached the group ofmen surrounding the reading table. Icould see only their backs draped inwhite tallitot (prayer shawls). Iexpected grim, serious faces to bepeering out from beneath the whitecloth pulled up over theirforeheads. But when Iapproached the Torah, theyturned to greet me with warmsmiles. One of them, a personwith whom I had briefly spokenbefore the prayers began, gaveme a gentle nudge of greetingwith his shoulder. The otherswere chatting while the readerfound the place to begin. I wastold to touch the Torah with mytallit and and then bring the cloth tomy lips and kiss the spot that hadtouched the parchment and letters. Istumbled through the Englishtransliteration of the blessings, andthen stood nervously while the Torahwas read. I recited the secondblessing and was gently moved to theside of the reading table while a mishebeirach was said in my honor. Theman I had met briefly put his armaround me while this was happeningand joked with me a bit while we stoodwaiting for the next reading to begin.There was an atmosphere ofinformality and intimacy with theTorah that astonished me."The Torah is no stranger," RabbiSamuels explained. "We live with itevery day."In the following months and years,I learned just how intimate the Torahcould become, both in the lives of theLubavitchers I came to know so well,and in my own life. I went throughseveral Jewish yearly cycles,experiencing times of awe andveneration for the Torah, and times offamiliarity bordering on irreverence.To drunkenly hug and dance with theholy scrolls on Simchat Torah! Whocould have ever imagined!But just as I was to becomeintimate with the Torah, so it was tobecome intimate with me. As I beganto study, I discovered the Torah'srelevance in every area of my life. Asits deeper meanings were laid open tome through the study of Chassidicteaching, I found that I could turn tothe Torah for guidance in everycircumstance. Regardless of mymood or frame of mind, I couldapproach the Torah and find it waitingfor me. Even in times of anger orrebellion, the Torah showedforgiveness and guidance. In times ofsadness and depression, I would findhope and encouragement. In times ofjoy and celebration, I would find wordsof thanksgiving and praise for the Onewho provides all goodness. There wasnot an aspect of my life that the Torahdid not enter. Slowly it penetrated myinner life, my career, my relationshipwith my children and parents, mymarriageWhen first introduced to theTorah, I felt I was coming to know adistant relative of whom I was awarebut had never before met; with thepassing of years I began to feel thatmy learning and observance revealedthat the Torah had always existedwithin me. The Torah became deeplyembedded into my life, part of theweave and warp of my being.Now, when I rushed forward in thesynagogue to kiss the Torah, it waswith much affection and familiarity.When on Simchat Torah I danced withthe holy scrolls, my inhibitions andemotions loosened from l'chaims, Iwould close my eyes and hug theTorah close, spinning in circles,enjoying a physical intimacy with thesoft velvet cloth and the sacredwritings it covered.Without losing its place as myrevered teacher and guide, the Torahhad become my familiar companion.Today, I continue to marvel that themost holy of G-d's creations allowsitself to be embraced by me.18VOL. XII NO. 1ELUL 5767-TISHREI 5768 / FALL 200718