Shine - Anglican Retirement Villages

elationshiPs
ConnECting WitH tEEnAgERS
a privileged position
Grandparents are in a unique position
to enjoy good relationships with
their children’s children. Doing the
necessary groundwork in the early
years can pay off in trust, closeness and
friendship, as young grandchildren
grow into teens, according to Cliff
Powell, grandfather and counsellor.
words SARitA EngLAnd
WwHen CLiFF poweLL went to his
grandparents’ home in the 1950s the
hours “dragged by interminably”, he
says, laughing.
“those visits were some of the worst
experiences in my childhood! not only was
there nothing to do, and nothing to play
with but they were distant with me. there
was no connection between us: they came
from a generation where children were
seen and not heard. the contact between
us was minimal and in retrospect i feel that
i never really knew them.”
it was not a model of grandparenting
that Cliff ever wished to follow! Cliff is
a clinical psychologist, and a lecturer at
the Graduate school of Counselling at
the wesley institute. He and his wife,
Marion, now have five grandchildren
and, having experienced the joys of
young grandchildren, they are about to
embark on perhaps the trickier phase of
grandparenting teens.
52 shine
if real estate is all about ‘position,
position, position’ then grandparenting
is all about ‘relationships, relationships,
and relationships!’
Good relationships with teenage
grandkids are built on the relationships
established with them early in childhood,
so that if quality foundations have been
laid in the younger years the transition to
truculent teens should prove easier.
“you have to work to have some
areas of connection,” according to
Cliff who believes that finding this
common ground is more critical as the
grandchildren get older. “it should be a
pleasure when the grandchildren come
to visit, so do things together you all can
enjoy, or share something with them that
you love. i enjoy hitting the waves on the
boogie board with the kids, while Marion
is into anything crafty.”
“However, don’t expect to understand
or enjoy all the same things that the