Mara Ginsberg - HER LIFE Magazine

mother’s perspectiveBenefits of a Babysitting SwapBy Kristen Do yl eBeing a mom is definitely the most satisfying and mostimportant job most women will ever have; however,it is also extremely stressful. It is a 24/7 job with fewbreaks and vacations. Days off are few and far between. Thecost of paid sitters can wreck the household budget. Teenagersare less expensive, but are often less responsible and experienced.They also may not be available for daytime sitting. Intoday’s mobile society many times families are widely separatedand relatives are not available as sitters. For her own sanity andthe good of the family, Mom needs to have time to recharge,revive and reactivate herself. The answer to this dilemma issharing!Playdates are fun for all concerned. Moms get to talk toadults and children get to play with someone their own age.Lots of social skills are learned at playdates. Observing variousmoms and their techniques of childcare gives the opportunityto find friends with the same parenting values. Playdates alsoprovide the opportunity to see which children are most compatiblewith your child. It is from these observations that sharingcan begin.Usually the best way to start is with a one-to-one sharing.It might be a good idea to make arrangements for one mom totake both children to the playdate and be responsible for both.This will provide a certain security for the children since theyare already familiar with the situation. If the playdates occur ona weekly basis, it gives each mom one playdate off every otherweek. From this beginning, the moms may opt to share sittingat their homes. This option can lead to longer time for salonappointments, shopping or perhaps time for uninterruptedhousehold chores. Both moms must realize that fairness meansequal sharing. One cannot take advantage of the other. It is alsogood to have a regular day so each mom can schedule plans.Under these circumstances, it is even possible to use two daysof the week so that each mom has time off every week. It mustOne advantage to a co-opis the number of competentMoms available.be understood that if it isn’t working out, either mom can optout without any hard feelings. Communication is extremelyimportant in smoothing out the rough spots.Starting a sitting co-op may be suitable for several friendsor neighbors who are in similar circumstances and are verycompatible. It is important that the children’s ages are closeand they get along well. A co-op is a fairly formal operationand sometimes is set up on a point system. You earn points fortime watching someone else’s child and you spend points whensomeone watches your child. One advantage to a co-op is thenumber of competent moms available. Another advantage isthat sitters are often available at nights or on weekends. Keepin mind though, you may be called on for a night or weekend sitting.In setting up a co-op, consideration will have to be given tofairness. This is especially true if you have a family in the co-opwho has more than one child. Communication at the beginningis very important. All roadblocks that may come up in the future34 HERLIFEnewyork.com