As illustrated by the quotations below, beingchallenged by women mentors to think criticallyabout gender was pivotal to awareness-raising forsome men.When I was working for [company X], I hadsome real strong, real assertive females...in my organization, in my direct team. I hadquite tough times with them. We were goodfriends...It was all very well-intentioned, butthey were honest with me….about my issues…about my behavior….[They were] really good...role models…..[There’s another] person….She’s excellent. She’s very good in this wholespace of [diversity and inclusion] and behavior.She’s...a mentor.—Dutch ManI have role models of very strong women….I’vebeen lucky in my life in terms of the womenwho have taught me how to treat women....The women that I’ve been exposed to are reallyquite extraordinary people in terms of how theyperform.— U.S. Man[I] was involved in political struggles here [in theUnited States] often in conjunction with womenand…workplace situations with women….Iwas part of a newspaper collective here wheremidway through the first Gulf War the womenkicked us out and said, “We’re kind of sickof working with a group of men who are notsharing decision-making, who are reinforcingall sorts of traditional gender norms”….I thinkthat gave me a sense of…the microdynamicsof power within small groups, within workplacesettings, between men and women.—South African ManStrong Sense of Fair PlayA strong senseof fair playis linked toHigher awarenessof gender biasMen with a strong sense of fair play were morelikely than those without this mindset to be awareof gender bias. 44 What exactly does it mean to havea strong sense of fair play? Survey respondentswho had a strong sense of fair play held widerangingconcerns about inequality in the manner inwhich resources are shared in society. For example,compared to men without this mindset, they weremore troubled by the fact that some people live inextreme poverty while others do not, and they weremore likely to admit that they felt burdened by thelack of fairness in the world.CATALYST VIEWPOINTOne can think of a sense of fair play as aperspective or lens that predisposes someindividuals to be more highly attuned torecognizing issues of fairness than others.Therefore, we would expect men with this fairnesslens in place to be more prone than men withoutthis perspective to perceive inequities of all kinds,including those based on gender. In the sectioncalled One Factor Predicts Being a Champion, wedescribe men’s sense of fair play in further detailand provide more evidence of just how important itis to men’s support for gender initiatives.8 | Engaging Men in Gender Initiatives
how men express Their awareness of gender biasSurvey respondents with high awareness ofgender bias identified its significant costs towomen, men, and organizations. For example,compared to respondents with lower awareness,those with high awareness of bias were:• More likely to recognize that women wereexcluded in the workplace and to viewthe exclusion of women as a competitivedisadvantage for corporations. 45• More likely than men with low awarenessto admit wishing that men were not alwaysexpected to take on the role of primarybreadwinner. 46Interview participants described the personalcosts men face as a result of pressure to conformto masculine norms and the biases those normscreate. As the quotations below illustrate, thesecosts ranged from self-defeating behaviors topressures to succeed.I think [I] also began to see the ways in whichtraditional notions of what it means to be aman are very restrictive for men….We seethat in terms of a broad range of public healthindicators where, particularly around helpseekingbehaviors, men are very disinclined toseek help for mental health issues, substanceabuse issues, take lots of risks that end upbeing very self-defeating….Then also at a verypersonal level, I was assaulted a number oftimes in the early 1990s and really struggledwith pretty intrusive [Post-traumatic StressDisorder], which I, like many men, did nothingabout….As I began to…become more andmore affected by that, I really had to do myown kind of introspection around what wasstopping me from seeking help.—South African Man“There's a script that many men have been fed,inculcated, reward[ed] by, around suck-it-up,act tough, don't let them see you sweat, showno chinks in the armor… I call [it] “acquiredmale answer syndrome"…[where] if asked adefinitive question, [I] give a definitive answer,whether I know what I'm talking about or not…Along the way, I lost myself—who I really am—because I think I was caught in this myth ofbeing male or acting male.—U.S. ManThe notions of masculinity that we'retaught to admire and that we're taughtto strive for….it's so pervasive that to gocounter to those things is harder than tojust go along indifferently through your lifeto them, right? Unless you really start tothink about it, or you've had some kindof incident to bring it close to you in yourlife, it's so much easier to go along andbe a part of it and not critically look at it,because it's not costing you anything onthe surface, right? You're a beneficiary ofit. [I] would argue that it is costing men onan emotional and psychological level….—Canadian Man”I think one of the disadvantages of being maleis that I have bought the myth that I can doanything, if I dream it. And, as a result, it'staking me continued work to have to ask forhelp and support from others, particularly othermen.... I sit there and struggle with stuff whenI really don't need to. I think that lowers my lifeexpectancy and other men's life expectancy.—U.S. ManHow Organizations Limit Men’s Awareness of Gender BiasOrganizations have a strong influence over whether men acknowledge the existence of genderdisparities. Many organizations tout the idea that they are wholly meritocratic and that their humanresource policies and practices are invulnerable to bias. By perpetuating this myth of meritocracy andfailing to institute checks and balances to limit bias, organizations can inadvertently decrease men’ssensitivity to gender inequalities. 47What Change Agents Need To Know | 9