Supporting Carers Of Other People's Children - Australian Foster ...

ClaireClaire, former child in careIt took almost her whole childhood before Claire finally got toexperience the best of what family life had to offer.Born in Scotland, she was in and out of care until she was adoptedat the age of six. But her adoptive mother abused her physically andemotionally – ‘horrible things were said on a daily basis’– and heradoptive father began sexually molesting her when she was nine.The family emigrated to Australia when Claire was eleven, and settledon a small property. ‘They put me in a shed out the back. I was notallowed in the house, and had to do all the jobs, so my school workfell behind.’Finally, at 15, underfed and covered in bruises and other injuries, shetold her best friend what was happening. Her friend’s family took herin for a while. ‘They were wonderful, and were going to adopt me, butthen they realised I was very messed up. They just didn’t have thetools to help me through it.’But her next family did. Foster carers for seven years at that stage,they committed themselves to Claire, and made it clear theywere in for the long haul.But she needed a lot of convincing. ‘There were continuouscompliments – “You’re doing well”, “We love you”. But I didn’tbelieve them.’‘Even with who I call Dad now, I couldn’t be alone with him,not in the car or anywhere. He had to stay out of the way inhis own home. It was a lot to put up with.’The darkness of her adoptive family had not ended. Whenshe was 18, her adoptive father came to her workplace andraped her. She became pregnant, and had a termination.Her outraged foster parents were more supportive than ever, but shewas defiant. ‘I just did what I pleased, and didn’t care about anybody.’‘I’d be grounded. They had rules, and there was no leniency. Butthere was no name-calling, and they were always consistent. And theygave me time. Every Friday night they would sit up with me and Iwould argue, until 3am, about wanting to go out. Their kids would bewanting to go to sleep and yelling out “Would you justshut up.”’‘I remember for my end of Year 11 dance, plottingan after-party with my friends. We’d all worked outdifferent things to tell our parents about where we’dbe. It was my foster parents who blew all that. I reallyresented it at the time, but they kept on showing melove and affection, and were also doing things likehelping me find my birth brother in Scotland.’‘I was a ward of the state, so they had thatresponsibility, and they just weren’t prepared to let mebe anywhere where there wasn’t someone to look afterme. And they were great with my friends - 15 kids fora sleep-over, that sort of thing. So they weren’t drillsergeants.’Claire, now 30, remembers there was a moment whereshe thought, ‘hang on, I’ve got to do something with my...but then theyrealised I was verymessed up. Theyjust didn’t have thetools to help methrough it.31