Supporting Carers Of Other People's Children - Australian Foster ...

MatthewMatthew, young person in care‘I was the most annoying kid, impossible to teach.’ That’s howMatthew, now old and wise at 17, sums up his early years ofconstant strife at school.He remembers ‘swearing at teachers, chucking stuff at teachers,getting into fights.’Matthew had lived with his birth mother until going into fostercare at the age of eight, and has lived with the same foster parentssince then, Shelley and Blake.‘I was out on the streets, and Mum couldn’t control me. I wasalways in trouble with the school and the police. I didn’t have aDad to discipline me, and Mum couldn’t do it. I didn’t have anyrules. It wasn’t really Mum’s fault. She couldn’t control me. I can’treally explain it. I couldn’t take her seriously somehow. At ten Iwas nearly taller than her.’Mathew’s foster mother, Shelley, explains that Mathew’s motherhas serious health problems. He remains staunchly loyal to hismother, and sees her, and his seven year old sister, every twoweeks. ‘I get on very well with them’, he emphasises. ‘My Mumstill cares about me a lot.’He sometimes has his two mothers both in the living room at thesame time, and calls them ‘Big Mum’ (Shelley) and ‘Little Mum’.‘We have a laugh about that,’ Shelley says.Matthew’s gratitude to Shelley and Blake is heartfelt. ‘They werethere for me. They were just really nice, and not angry with me.They were determined to change me.’‘At the start I didn’t want to be with them. All kids in foster care,they’d feel the same way. They’d want to go back home and shit.’‘I’m surprised they didn’t kick me out of the house. They were verypersistent. They kept on trying.’‘Shelley was pretty much coming in to the school every day,fighting the principals, not taking “no” for an answer. If theteachers were getting sick of me and wanting me to be expelled,Shelley would always be on my side.’‘I didn’t know why she would still like me. I was being a little shit.’‘I think I naturally didn’t like adults. I’d spent more time with kids,who were much older than me – dodgy kids, who I shouldn’t havebeen hanging out with.’‘But then Shelley and Blake came along, and demonstratedthe good part of adults. They were willing to listen. They caredif I was in a really bad mood. They didn’t get angry with mefor being angry. They were calm and patient. They were veryunderstanding.’‘At one school, the teachers hated me straight away, and Shelleyand Blake saw it.’After a couple of schools, and a couple of years with Shelleyand Blake, he changed to a new school in Year 4, and began tochange. ‘It was a heaven school. The teachers were all so nice andunderstanding. They had a lot more patience.’Matthew is now in Year 12, and hopes to go to university nextyear. ‘If I’d grown up to be the kind of boy I was going to be, Iwould not be in school. I’d be in drugs, or an alcoholic, that kind ofstuff.’He likes ‘anything to do with sport’, and is interested in being aphysical education teacher. He agrees that he would know whatmakes a good teacher.41