Women and Separation (Booklet) - Relationships Australia

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The separationWho initiated the separation?Of the 47,209 registered divorces in Australia in 2008, almost 40%were initiated by women. 1Initiators of divorcesWife 37.3%Husband 27.5%Joint agreement 35.2%If you were the initiator, you may have already gone through theemotional 'roller coaster' of distress (see page 11) and be ready to moveon. It may seem that your former partner has fallen into a hole and isunable to move on. You may feel:• you are more in control of the situation• guilty about the break-up• worried about the effect on the children• anxious about the financial implications• fearful of your partner• fearful for your partner.If you were not the initiator, you may be struggling while your formerpartner seems to be coping much better. You may feel:• powerless about your social and economic future• betrayed, as if something has been taken awayfrom you through no fault of your own• shocked or confused• desperate to be given another chance.‘I am the one who left andI hurt as much for him as Idid for myself.’J.H., aged 49, seven monthsafter separation10
The separationDifferences between the initiator and the non-initiatorBoth the initiator and non-initiator have intense feelings, but they mayhave them at different times, either before or after the separation.In the diagram, you can see that the initiator has the most distressbefore separation, the non-initiator has the most distress afterseparation. You may feel you’re on an emotional roller coaster.BeforeAfterInitiatorDistressDistressTimeNon-initiator‘I thought the ride would never end.’J.K., aged 27, two years after separation11
Page 2 and 3: AuthorsMargot Rogers, Rosalie Patte
Page 5: ContentsSeparation and women's expe
Page 8 and 9: Women and Separation Managing New H
Page 16: Women and Separation Managing New H
Page 31 and 32: Making formal arrangementsDo your l
Page 33 and 34: Making formal arrangementsFamily di
Page 35: Making formal arrangementsFormalisi
Page 38 and 39: The futureMany women report positiv
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Women and Separation (Booklet) - Relationships Australia

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