<strong>LDA</strong>last pageDavid AustinErect Tile DysfunctionOur small kitchen pantry was in needof new flooring. It had an annoyingsqueak whenever you steppedon it <strong>and</strong> the old tile wasbeginning to look bad. Reallynow, how hard can it be toreplace a few tiles? Ah, but mymomma once told me thatlife isn’t like a box ofchocolates. It’s more like ajar of jalapenos. What youdo today, might not feel sogood tomorrow. Thinking ofthis, I decided to seek help.On the sixth floor of the<strong>LDA</strong> library you will find theself-help section containing books<strong>and</strong> articles pertaining to endodontics,composites, orthognathic surgery <strong>and</strong> replacing thefloor in your home or office. So, after an exhaustivestudy of all the books <strong>and</strong> journals I could findon flooring, I felt confident that this could beaccomplished not only easily, but rather cost effectiveas well. I should have realized that sometimes wheneverything is coming your way, you could be in thewrong lane.During removal of the old floor, imagine mydismay upon finding that much of the sub-flooringmaterial needed replacing. Not only was it in badshape, but the deterioration also extended into thekitchen <strong>and</strong> dining area.Ripping all of the old floor <strong>and</strong> sub-floor away,many of the cabinets <strong>and</strong> parts of the wall neededremoving as well. I also found some wiring <strong>and</strong>plumbing that apparently a herd of squirrels hadattacked <strong>and</strong> damaged which extended up into theattic area requiring ceiling <strong>and</strong> roof repair. It was inthe attic where I found evidence that we had a familyof illegal aliens living up there some time back. I waswondering why we had two mailboxes out front allthose years!The concrete under the sub-floorhad also deteriorated in somespots requiring extensive post<strong>and</strong> core build-up.The small half day project turned intoa nine month ordeal. I was beginningto feel a little depressed <strong>and</strong> alone.However, if you think nobodycares, try missing a couple ofmortgage payments.Fortunately, I was able to do itall myself <strong>and</strong> saved a ton of money.So far, the only problems thathave surfaced are with the electroplumbingareas. Seems that wheneveryou use the microwave oven, the upstairs commodewill flush! It’s o.k. though, we just make sure no oneis up there whenever we want to heat up a s<strong>and</strong>wich.Also some of the appliances don’t always turn on whenyou need them, but we tend to eat out a lot anyway, sono big deal.The pantry floor still has an annoying squeakwhenever you st<strong>and</strong> on it, but you know, we canpractically reach anything we need without walkingin there.The roof has a small leak whenever it rains. A smallblue tarp up there has temporarily cured the problem<strong>and</strong> sort of adds a little festive “color” this time of year.With the money I saved by doing everything myself,I will be able to afford a contractor to correct all ofthese little problems. I learned my lesson though. Irealized that hard work may or may not pay off in thefuture, but laziness pays off now. I also realized thatdepression is merely anger without enthusiasm.Next time, I’ll sell the place.36 <strong>LDA</strong> <strong>Journal</strong>
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