the horizon - Indiana University Southeast

the horizonDiversionsWeek of Jan. 30, 20127on weekends startingMarch 7.Gary and Mike» by the horizon» illustration by Kasceio NilesThe following articleswere found on a flash drivein the wreckage of a timemachine in the woodsbehind Knobview. Expertssay the future is always inmotion, so the followingshould be enjoyed for theirentertainment value only.» Jan. ₁₂, ₂₀₁₈: For thefifth year in a row, theIUS Gas Station andConvenience Store sawrecord profits.Since its openingbetween the Children’sCenter and CulbertsonBaptist Church, the stationhas been a remarkablesuccess.“The traffic flowreally works to our advantage,”Courtney Catsup,station manager,said. “We get those whoneed gas before headinghome. We get those whoneed chips and a pop.We pretty much geteverybody.”Profits from theGSCS go toward studentscholarships andcampus improvements.Student retentionand graduation has alsoincreased for the fifthyear in a row.“The GSCS is a winwinsituation for IUS,”Catsup said.» March ₅, ₂₀₁₄: Constructionon the giantFerris wheel atIU Southeast is nowcomplete. This iconiclandmark is the first ofits kind at a university.“Every school hasa clock, fountain orstatue,” Barb Cue, specialprojects manager,said. “We will be veryunique.”Students agree withCue.“When people askme where I go to school,I tell them the one withthe big Ferris wheel,”Connie Crete, fine artsfreshman, said. “Everyoneknows what I’mtalking about.”The Ferris wheel willbe open to the public» April ₂₃, ₂₀₁₅: Valetparking on the IUScampus begins Monday,April 27.Students, facultyand staff with a validparking permit will beallowed to use this newservice.“Pull up in frontof McCullough Plazabehind the Ferris wheel,and we’ll take your carto the parking garagefor you — free,” D.R.Pepper, journalismsophomore and valetmanager, said. “Tipsare, of course, stronglyencouraged.”The valet service willoperate from 8 a.m.to 10 p.m., Mondaythrough Friday.» July ₁₈, ₂₀₁₆: A colonyof feral Guinea pigshas established itself atIU Southeast. As manyas two dozen cavies,as they are also called,have been reported.“I guess someonewanted to get rid of acouple of Guinea pigs,”Bubba Cervesa, IUS Policecommissioner, said.“If you have a maleand a female, well, youknow.”Without many predatorson campus, thecolony is expected tothrive.“They are so freakin’cute,” Missy Ames,elementary educationfreshman, said.“Wheet!”A petition has beenstarted by the SGA toconsider changing theIUS mascot to the FightingGuinea Pigs. Stopby Campus Life in theUniversity Center, room010, to sign.» Aug. ₁₅, ₂₁₀₁: Constructionon the east-sidebridge has begun on aexpedited schedule. Thebridge is expected to becompleted by March 1,2111.“We are very confidentthe work willget done quickly,” JimJohns, Louisville mayor,said.