Ultra_Tales_Issue_13

EVENT REPORTT184 ENDURANCE RUNcouple of Ultra runs who was out on the ThamesPath with his family and we spoke briefly. I admittedI was pretty much done.The only last resolve I had was the thought aboutletting my family, friends and other runners down.The self-belief I had built up over 15 x 100+ milerfinishes was being stripped away. Speaking toMartin and admitting I was done made it easier forme to stop (not that I blame you Martin!), it was thefirst the first step in admitting your failure to theworld and so I decided to quit, I just couldn’t facecontinuing the race in some discomfort for another20-30 hours. To be clear, the physical discomfortwasn’t great but I mentally just gave up.wouldn’t get to the next Checkpoint until well intothe night. I started to get into a habit of stopping atevery bench for a sit down and so the pace reducedeven further to 2-3mph.Jim and I had been exchanging the odd text to seehow we were both doing, I was desperately hopinghe would catch me up for some much neededcompany as I was in a real black hole now.I spent the next 5 hours covering about 14 milesand spent all of this agonising over whether I reallywanted to continue. Physically, my feet wereblistered and ankles and achilles were sore but Ihave ground out results in the past in a similarphysical condition and probably could have done itagain. I had 70 miles to go and still had 50 hours tocomplete this even at the slow pace I was travellingat with a couple of decent sleep breaks it wasperfectly doable, uncomfortable physically butdoable but I didn’t fancy it. I really didn’t fancyputting myself through a long uncomfortable walk.The memory of doing the same thing at the NDW100 two weeks ago was a little too fresh, thethought of going into a second night without sleepwas not appealing, the memory of marching thelast 60 miles of the GUCR with blistered feet and aninjured knee was at the back of my mind.I trudged on but every moment I was trying toreason why I should carry on. The small flame thatrepresents motivation and desire was graduallyflickering away as I started to solely focus on all thewrong thoughts and emotions. I wasn’tcompartmentalising the race into manageablesegments, I wasn’t distracting my mind with otherthoughts, music or conversation and that smallflame was extinguishing until it eventually wentout. I bumped into Martin Pether who I’ve met on aI spoke to my wife, Sally-anne and we had a prettyemotional phone call where I confirmed mydecision to quit. Sal made every effort to persuademe to carry on, she believed in me at a point when Ididn’t believe in myself but I was done, it was over.It was a pretty uncomfortable phone call to behonest especially when speaking to my youngDaughter and telling her I was stopping, I wasn’tgood enough today and her reply was “…But Daddy,you always finish the races.” That was hard to take.I phoned the Race Director Shane although didn’tget through first time and I then phoned and texteda few close friends to confirm I was quitting.Strangely I felt some responsibility to tell a fewpeople I was giving up today, I guess I was givingmyself a hard time over my decision. I wasn’tlooking for sympathy; I just felt some obligation toadmit my failure. Shane called me back and hekindly arranged a pickup for me at a Pub where Ihad stopped. Unfortunately, there was a bit of await as the support teams were responding toseveral dropouts at different points in the race but Itold him I was going to go for a meal in the Pub andwarm up so I wasn’t a high priority if others were inmore need. I was eventually collected by MarkSewell who was on transport duties andtransported home (as I lived close by) which wasvery much appreciated, thanks Mark.Congratulations to Karen Hathaway for winning therace in around 48 hours, she looked pretty strongwhen I saw her out on the course. A massive welldone and respect to anyone who finishes this race,definitely a tough one with the distance and selfsufficiencyaspects. I’m sorry I wasn’t good enoughon the day. Also thanks to the 50+ volunteers whogave up their time and helped support the eventand runners which was very much appreciated.117 ULTRA TALES | OCTOBER 2014Sponsored by thehttp://