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Download (PDF, 2.49MB) - School of Educators

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Father <strong>School</strong>: S tep by Steppsychoemotional matrix for perceiving relations with other people. If family relationships were filled with respect,love, tolerance and joy, a likewise perception <strong>of</strong> the world through positive emotions will be formed.Photo: A discussion at the session <strong>of</strong> fathers-to-be.The intellectual part <strong>of</strong> one’s life scenario is formed by the age <strong>of</strong> 6 or7. While this part is being formed, apartial correction <strong>of</strong> the preceding stage emotional problems can occur. But usually, the already existing model forone’s emotional attitude to himself/herself and to the world just becomes fixed in the mind.A grown-up with a certain ‘life scenario’ believes that ‘this is the only way it should be’, that life can andshould be perceived this way and that everything happens ‘by itself’. For example, many people are sure that life ishard and merciless and one is doomed to struggle in it and with it, though chances for ‘victory’ are very slim. Suchlife mindset is primitive, immature and pathological but for that person it seems that ‘this is what happens in reality’.And only as the person becomes more mature he/she realizes that social, gender, emotional and psychologicalstereotypes, used by him/her from the early childhood and based on the parental programming should be revised.Such understanding <strong>of</strong>ten comes when people are getting ready to become parents. They begin to feeland understand that their child’s birth and upbringing is an important part <strong>of</strong> life, in which there is a risk <strong>of</strong> repeatingupbringing mistakes made by their parents.From generation to generation, families pass on to their children not only examples <strong>of</strong> loving, respectingand caring for each other, but also examples <strong>of</strong> hostility, hatred and indifference. Yes, family is a self-regulatingsocial system with resources and opportunities for a healthy and adequate functioning. However, in many casesyoung parents (especially fathers) are in real need to get important information on themselves, pregnancy and labor,methods <strong>of</strong> caring for the baby and its upbringing at an early age.Thus, father’s role in conscious parenthood becomes special, meaningful and important for the success <strong>of</strong>child’s socialization.In the history <strong>of</strong> post-Soviet countries several dozens <strong>of</strong> male generations grew up in a social atmospherethat cultivated a ‘warrior-defender’ and a ‘hard worker’ male stereotype/gender role. ‘Mentoring father’ and ‘lovinghusband’ were easily sacrificed to those roles. Even in the middle <strong>of</strong> the last century, the generation <strong>of</strong> ourgrandmothers and mothers firmly believed that a family can easily ‘lose’ its man, who could be killed at a war or61

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