July 2013 - Lions Clubs New Zealand

Club ReportsSocialThe Oamaru Repertory Society are presenting a drama entitled “TheAmorous Ambassador”. They have a Sunday afternoon performanceon 28th July at 4:00pm, ticket prices $18 per person or groups of 10 ormore at $15. If anyone is interested please let me know by 11th Julyalso let me know if you would like a meal afterwards.BarbaraSubs are now dueFor members who use internet banking our accountdetails are:Account number: 03 0937 0101951 00Account holder name: North Otago LionsIn details section please put your name and sub.Members who would like to pay their subs in installmentsplease contact Rose.Next Board Meeting:Aoraki Polytechnic, Thursday 1st August, 7.30pm4

President Pam’s PageWelcome to the first edition of P - P - P.Thank you to every one who were able to attend the changeover nightand joining in by congratulating the outgoing Board for a successfulyear and welcoming in the new Board for 2013-2014. A special thankyou to all those who helped organise the evening - the partners whocame to join in the celebrations and to Beryl and her team for theirhard work during the last year.We have a very busy year to look forward to, with the usual Truffles,Cheese Rolls, Pool Party and Toot for Tucker, plus the additionalevents, 1 st Saturday Coffee dates, appeals for the various organisationsthat we support and the unexpected events that sometimes pop upduring the year.The Social committee are sure to come up with various activities forus all to participate in and enjoy, and this is an intricate part of ourorganisation – as well as the service projects and fundraising that weall give our time to complete, but we need the social events for us toenjoy each others company (and also our partners on some occasions)for us to have fun!I extend to Betty and her family, deepest sympathy for the loss of adevoted husband of 60 years, father, poppa and whoppa poppa, whopassed away on 3 July.To Gavin and Janet for the sudden loss of Gavin’s brother, Ron on 2July, deepest sympathy to you and your families.Nominations for positions relating to the Charitable Trust, due to twotrustees that are standing down by rotation, are required by the teameeting on Thursday 18 July 2013 – further details are in this bulletin.Barbara Williams and Pam Anderson are required to stand down andboth are prepared to stand again for nomination.5

The Board have met for the 1 st meeting of the year and thanks toSecretary Jen for preparing her first agenda and assisting the Presidentwith all the relevant details for the meeting.I look forward to joining everyone on Thursday 18 July for our teameeting and to our guest speaker, who I am sure, will enlighten us onher busy life.If you have any suggestions or issues that need to be discussed eitherby the Board or at a tea meeting, please contact Secretary Jen ormyself with the relevant details. We are certainly open to allsuggestions that you may wish to bring to our attention – and withyour input, it helps our Club to move ahead and succeed.CheersPresident PamBANK RULESA mother took her five-year-old son with her to the bank on a busylunchtime.They got behind a very fat woman wearing a business suit completewith pager.As they waited patiently, the little boy said loudly, 'Gee, she's fat!' Themother bent down and whispered in the little boys ear to be quiet. Acouple of minutes passed by and the little boy spread his hands as faras they would go and announced;'I'll bet her butt is this wide!'The fat woman turns around and glares at the little boy. The mothergave him a good telling off, and told him to be quiet. After a brief lull,the large woman reached the front of the line. Just then, her pagerbegan to emit a Beep, beep, beepThe little boy yells out, 'Run for your life, she's backing up!!6Source Oamaru Lions

DG Allan’s Article.....In a world of need, there is someone to help. In a worldof suffering, there is someone who cares. In a world ofdestruction, there is someone to provide relief. In aworld of illiteracy, there is someone to teach. In a worldof service, there is one name that stands out amongothers – Lions Clubs International. WE SERVE.That’s what we do. That’s what we have always done. It is our motto, andthe reason we exist. These are the words that have been drilled into us byour Lions leaders and my vision for the future is to see this great workcontinues locally, nationally and internationally.I have set some goals for our District which includes forming at least one newclub, reviving the fading clubs, getting more women to join Lions, gettingmost if not all the clubs to do the Club Excellence Process and increasing ourmembership as we are in dire straits!I have just been inducted as District Governor for 202J at the Lions ClubsInternational Convention in Hamburg, Germany. What an experience! Makesone proud to be a Lion. Met over 700 District Governors from over 200countries! There were over 18,000 conventioneers in Hamburg including 48from New Zealand.Spent about nine days in Hamburg, starting with District Governor Trainingfollowed by a Downunder Breakfast hosted by the Australian Lions,International Parade of Nations, International Variety Show, ConventionOpening, Flag Ceremony, Forums and Seminars, Keynote Address,Memorial Service and of course International President and District GovernorInstallation.Now I am ready for the challenge of leading our District 202J and feel verypositive about the future of Lions which is the largest voluntary serviceorganisation in the world.Like you I am a volunteer and prepared to devote and have already devotedat least two years of my life to Lions fulltime! It won’t be easy visiting about40 clubs, ten conventions, and attending cabinet and MD202 Councilmeetings during my term as District Governor as I have a fulltime job.7

However, I have a great group of people helping me and my employers havegiven me their full support.My home club Oamaru is having its 50 th Anniversary this year and has neverhad a District Governor until now. It is an honour and a privilege to be yourDistrict Governor and I can assure you that I will do my best for our greatorganisation with your help.Looking forward to visiting you all in the next twelve months.Individually we are just a drop, together an ocean!Sincere SympathyBetty, we all join in our sympathy to you,and all your family in the loss of Doug.We are all thinking of you.Allan PrakashDistrict Governor, Lions District 202J"Success comes from knowing that you did your best to become the bestthat you are capable of becoming."John Wooden (American basketball player and coach)October 14, 1910 - June 4, 2010Sincere SympathyOur love and sympathy is extendedto Gavin, Janet and family on thelost of Gavin’s brother Ron8

GOD ENJOYS A GOOD LAUGH!There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:1. He called everyone brother2. He liked Gospel3. He didn’t get a fair trialBut then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:1. He went into His Father's business2. He lived at home until he was 333. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was GodBut then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:1. He talked with His hands2. He had wine with His meals3. He used olive oilBut then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:1. He never cut His hair2. He walked around barefoot all the time3. He started a new religionBut then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian:1. He was at peace with nature2. He ate a lot of fish3. He talked about the Great SpiritBut then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:1. He never got married.2. He was always telling stories.3. He loved green pastures.But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was virtually no food2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it3. And even when He was dead, He had to get up because there was still work todo9Many thanks Pam

A woman, renewing her driver's licence, was asked by the clerk at the registryto state her occupation. She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.“What I mean is,” explained the clerk at the registry, “do you have a job or areyou just a . . . ?”“Of course I have a job!” snapped the woman, emphatically. “I'm a mum!”“We don't list 'mum' as an occupation; 'housewife' covers it,” said the clerk.I forgot all about that story until one day I found myself in the same situation.The clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of ahigh sounding title like 'Official Interrogator' or 'City Registrar’.“What is your occupation?” she probed.What made me say it I do not know. The words simply popped out. “I'm aResearch Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations.”The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair and looked up as though shehad not heard right. I repeated the title slowly emphasising the most significantwords. Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written in boldblack ink on the official questionnaire.“Might I ask,” said the clerk with new interest, “just what you do in your field?”Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, “I have acontinuing programme of research, (what mother doesn't!) in the laboratory andin the field, (normally I would have said indoors and out). I'm working for myMasters, (first the Lord and then the whole family) and already have four credits(all daughters). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in thehumanities, (any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day,(24 is more like it!), but the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-millcareers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money.”There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she completedthe form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door. As I drove into ourdriveway, buoyed by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my labassistants – ages 13, 7, and 3. Upstairs I could hear our new experimentalmodel (a 6-month-old baby) in the child development programme, testing out anew vocal pattern. I felt I had scored a victory over bureaucracy! And I hadgone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensableto mankind than 'just another Mum’.Motherhood! What a glorious career! Especially when there's a title on thedoor. Does this make grandmothers 'Senior Research Associates in the field ofChild Development and Human Relations'? And great-grandmothers'Executive Senior Research Associates’? I think so! I also think it makes aunts'Associate Research Assistants’!'Many thanks to Russell Hancox10

1. Make vanilla pudding. Put nmayo jar. Eat in public.To do list2. Joe two private investigators. Getthen to follow each other.3. Wear shirt that says “life.” Handout lemons on street corner.4. Get onto a crowded elevator andsay I bet you’re all wonderingwhy I gathered you here today.”5. Major in philosophy. Ask people WHY they would like frieswith that.6. Run into a store, ask what year it is. When someone answers,yell “It worked!” and run out cheering.7. Become a doctor. Change last name to Acula.8. Change name to Simon, Speak in third person.9. Buy a parrot, Teach the parrot to say “Help! I’ve been turnedinto a parrot.”10. Follow joggers around in your car blasting “Eye of the Tiger”for encouragement11

CongratulationsJuly August1 Kath 6 Geni18 Lyne D 14 Myrel18 Ann H28 RaeownaWELFARE:Caring For Our MembersMembers responsible for visiting anyonewho is unwell or needing our supportare….JulyEmergencyRaeowna and JanAugustBarbara and AdrienneBarbara and AdrienneEmergencyElaine and KathIf you are unable to do this duty please arrange for anotherBio MarinusLiquid Fish FertiliserClub members may purchase this product fromFlorence for their own use and for use by yourfriends. $6.00 a litre. This is an on-goingproject.A percentage of all sales is to go to the club.12

Before you speak,THINKT - is it TRUE?H - is it HELPFUL?I - is it INSPIRING?N - is it NECESSARY?K - is it KIND?Before you speak,THINK13

Oamaru North Otago Lions Club Membership ListName Email Address Phone MobileAdrienne Alding w.a.alding@clear.net.nz 434 7471 021 133 9365Pam Anderson sapaoam@xtra.co.nz 437 1366 027 205 6840Elaine Barnes 434 5706 027 339 9227Kath Beauchamp kath@whitestone.co.nz 437 1068 021 328 603Fay Birtles Birtles@xtra.co.nz 437 1113 021 156 3721Betty Cleverley bettyanddougcleverley@gmail.com 437 1981Sharon Doran lance.sharon@hotmail.com 437 2144 027 295 3452Lyne Dorsey dorseyl@xtra.co.nz 434 9603 027 538 3933Ruth Dove ruthdenisdove@vodafone.co.nz 437 1159 021 025 28256Jen Farquharson hugh.jen@vodafone.co.nz 434 7256 021 209 6535Ann Gibson 434 2523 027 689 3832Eleanor Green eleanoralby@xtra.co.nz 434 8973 021 141 9024Florence Hellyer 434 3044Genevieve Heselwood gennyh@xtra.co.nz 434 6649 027 423 0137Ann Hodder notillagesystem@xtra.co.nz 03 689 8808 021 190 4484Judith Isbister iisbister@xtra.co.nz 434 1422 027 431 0133Zona Kennedy 434 7771May Ludemann mayludemann@xtra.co.nz 434 7191 027 499 8957Rose Luxford rose.luxford@xtra.co.nz 437 2009 021 275 2000Pat McCallion FairfieldPets@xtra.co.nz 437 2540 027 227 8584Irene Mitchell b_ij_mitchell@vodafone.co.nz 434 2340 027 343 923Beryl Naismith article@earthlight.co.nz 434 1205 021 114 4292Myrel Parsons myrel@xtra.co.nz 434 7249Janet Paterson ggpaterson@clear.net.nz 437 1216 021 027 45186Sheila Paul midway-toru@farmside.co.nz 03 689 2273 027 228 9589Heather Robb h.robb@xtra.co.nz 437 1739 021 119 2232Raeowna Rush raeowna.rush@xtra.co.nz 437 2156 027 450 0481Jan Selfe janrickselfe@vodafone.co.nz 434 6065 021 184 0690Lyn Warrington lynwarrington@gmail.com 437 0591Joan Watson Joan.watson@xtra.co.nz 434 1226 027 343 8817Barbara Williams d.bwilliams@xtra.co.nz 437 1322 021 257 9201For privacy reasons this information is for use of Lions members only14

OAMARU NORTH OTAGO LIONS CLUB2013/2014BOARD OF DIRECTORSPresident:Pam AndersonImm Past President: Beryl Naismith1 st VP: Myrel Parsons2 nd VP: Barbara Williams3 rd VP: Sheila PaulSecretary:Jen FarquharsonTreasurer:Rose LuxfordTail Twister:Raeowna RushLion Tamer:Lyn WarringtonDirector 1:Jen Farquharson, Kathleen BeauchampDirector 2:Lyne Dorsey, Heather RobbMembership:Irene MitchellBulletin Editor:Fay BirtlesCommitteesProject/Catering:Youth:Appeals:Finance:Membership:Programme:Social:Alert:Publicity:Health & Welfare:Homestead Liaison:Raeowna, Zona, Ruth, Florence, Geni,Eleanor, Pat, Elaine, Heather RSheila, Myrel, JanJanetRose, Kath, SharonIrene, Ann H, BerylMay, Joan, Ann G, Lyn WBarbara, Janet, Lyne D, JudithPamFay, AdrienneAdrienne AldingAdrienne AldingCHARITABLE TRUST:Barbara, Kath, Janet, Fay, Pam and Sheila15

16We Serve