July 2013 - Lions Clubs New Zealand

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A woman, renewing her driver's licence, was asked by the clerk at the registryto state her occupation. She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.“What I mean is,” explained the clerk at the registry, “do you have a job or areyou just a . . . ?”“Of course I have a job!” snapped the woman, emphatically. “I'm a mum!”“We don't list 'mum' as an occupation; 'housewife' covers it,” said the clerk.I forgot all about that story until one day I found myself in the same situation.The clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of ahigh sounding title like 'Official Interrogator' or 'City Registrar’.“What is your occupation?” she probed.What made me say it I do not know. The words simply popped out. “I'm aResearch Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations.”The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair and looked up as though shehad not heard right. I repeated the title slowly emphasising the most significantwords. Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written in boldblack ink on the official questionnaire.“Might I ask,” said the clerk with new interest, “just what you do in your field?”Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, “I have acontinuing programme of research, (what mother doesn't!) in the laboratory andin the field, (normally I would have said indoors and out). I'm working for myMasters, (first the Lord and then the whole family) and already have four credits(all daughters). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in thehumanities, (any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day,(24 is more like it!), but the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-millcareers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money.”There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she completedthe form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door. As I drove into ourdriveway, buoyed by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my labassistants – ages 13, 7, and 3. Upstairs I could hear our new experimentalmodel (a 6-month-old baby) in the child development programme, testing out anew vocal pattern. I felt I had scored a victory over bureaucracy! And I hadgone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensableto mankind than 'just another Mum’.Motherhood! What a glorious career! Especially when there's a title on thedoor. Does this make grandmothers 'Senior Research Associates in the field ofChild Development and Human Relations'? And great-grandmothers'Executive Senior Research Associates’? I think so! I also think it makes aunts'Associate Research Assistants’!'Many thanks to Russell Hancox10
1. Make vanilla pudding. Put nmayo jar. Eat in public.To do list2. Joe two private investigators. Getthen to follow each other.3. Wear shirt that says “life.” Handout lemons on street corner.4. Get onto a crowded elevator andsay I bet you’re all wonderingwhy I gathered you here today.”5. Major in philosophy. Ask people WHY they would like frieswith that.6. Run into a store, ask what year it is. When someone answers,yell “It worked!” and run out cheering.7. Become a doctor. Change last name to Acula.8. Change name to Simon, Speak in third person.9. Buy a parrot, Teach the parrot to say “Help! I’ve been turnedinto a parrot.”10. Follow joggers around in your car blasting “Eye of the Tiger”for encouragement11
Page 4 and 5: Club ReportsSocialThe Oamaru Repert
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Page 12 and 13: CongratulationsJuly August1 Kath 6
Page 14 and 15: Oamaru North Otago Lions Club Membe
Page 16: 16We Serve

July 2013 - Lions Clubs New Zealand

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