I Am Beautiful: A Celebration of Women in Their Own Words

More documents

Recommendations

Info

"Guilt." A veteran of consciousness-raising,Roiphe knows that stories can effectchange, and she uses them persuasively.Her anecdotes about outstanding mistakesgo a long way to dispel the notionof the available mother who heals allwith a hug. They also help assuage theworking mother's guilt over neglectingher children. (I, for one, gained tremendouslatitude for error from the stories ofher inadvertently leaving her 10-year-oldhome alone when rushing to a hospital,and sending her toddler to a birthdayparty without underpants.)The book is less convincing, however,when it turns from anecdotes to ananalysis of sexism and prescribes newdirections for the future. For instance, relyingheavily on the work of psychologistsNancy Chodorow and DorothyDinnerstein, Roiphe traces the chiefcause of misogyny back to women themselves,to "mother-dominated childhoods,"in which children fear regressionand the loss of self. The idea is thatpeople hate women because they hatetheir repressive mothers. So if things arebad for women in general, they areworse for moms. Quoting Chodorow,Roiphe writes, "We are all prone tomother hating because we live in a societythat says that mothers can andshould do all for their children."The failures of feminism can also beblamed on women, particularly the rageagainst men that became a definingtheme in radical feminist politics andscholarship. Roiphe writes that "Insteadof establishing equality between thesexes, all the banging of the consciousness-raisingdrum had somehow managedto reverse the polarity. Good wasnow female and bad was male." Pronatalism,which Roiphe defines as "theidea that the culture is rife with evidenceof a conspiracy to make women bearchildren," comes in for even stiffer attack.While Roiphe forgives the early exaboutchild care." Worse, she contends, itplays into the hands of anti-abortionistswho use it to position the women'smovement as antifamily. Oddly enough,although women are the problem,Roiphe believes the solution rests inmen. If men would share half the responsibilityfor raising children, theywould attract half the wrath. This wouldnot only diffuse misogyny but also givewomen the time they need to pursuetheir aims and children the attentionthey so sorely need.Women must lead the way: "If wecould make a revolution about whatwomen did, we can make a revolutionabout what men do, what families shouldbe. It is just that we stopped halfway. "This will free us to attend to the next gen-Roiphe traces misogyny back to women themselves; people hate womenbecause they hate their repressive mothers.pression of pronatalism as "a kind ofpolitics-cum-paranoia" of early feminism,"today's anti-baby posturing," shesays, "is something else again. It repelsmost women. It makes it possible for usto avoid serious questions and issues" Controversial paradigm-challengingutterly engrossing"A compelling and intimate portrait of howthe contemporary Goddess movementimpacts women's lives today. The film coversthe emotionally moving experiences ofwomen attending a three-day Austin-basedworkshop taught by author and feministwitch Zsuzsanna Budapest, often called the"founding mother" of the women'sspirituality movement.To Order send check to:Women's Spirituality ForumP. O. Box 11363Oakland, CA 94611To order withVisa or MastercardCall: (510)444-7724Video:Shipping & Handling:Total $34.95A documentaryby Peg |ordaneration of feminist goals: putting childcare back on the agenda, helping womenmake informed choices about reproduction,and finding solutions to infertility.Roiphe's call to bring fathers homedoesn't mean she excludes other formsof family. Examining the various waysfamilies are formed today—homosexualpartnerships, adoptive families, remarriages,families formed with the help ofsurrogate mothers or IVF—Roiphestrives for tolerance, recognizing thatpeople nurture each other and childrenin many ways. And yet, unaware of herown biases, she often undermines hercause. In an otherwise moving definitionof family, for example, she seems blindto the huge caveat she throws into theargument, suggesting that differentkinds of family are fine as long as theyare not substantially different: "If we definethe family as a bond, biological orchosen, which is dedicated to the caringof all. . .then the genders of the adultswill affect the style, the culture, the politicsof that home, but no more."There is, of course, nothing insubstantialabout culture and politics. Roiphesays in her baldest statement of the issue,"Feminism needs to be pro-marriage, becausethat is the best way to make mostmen, women, and their children happy."Her point is that parenting is at least atwo- or three-person job, if not the wholevillage's. But her wish for the return ofthe family, even the broader and moreexpansive families of the present, doesn'tseem to be any less fantastic. This is whyI think she ultimately slips back into acall for "traditional families."48 O N THE ISSUES • Spring 1997
Roiphe's descriptions of her own familyprove much more affecting, especiallyas it grows to include one daughter fromRoiphe's first marriage, a new husband,two stepdaughters, and two daughtersfrom her second marriage. It is hard todispute the elasticity and strength of afamily that endures an angry child settinga bed on fire; one sister badly batteringanother; a daughter getting strung out ondrugs, then going through recovery andthe discovery that she is HIV-positive.Reflecting on how much her experienceas a mother has encompassed, howmuch it has expanded the way she thinksand feels about herself as well as others,Roiphe claims that contradictions collapseand the clash between motherhoodand feminism is an "artificial one, afterall." At first, I found this disappointing, afacile resolution of a powerful conflict.But as I reflect on the family AnneRoiphe describes and the contradictionsthat motherhood entails, I believe her.Her personal story makes an importantcontribution to our understanding ofwho we are and to enlarging roles thatthe culture has made much too small.REPRODUCINGPERSONS: ISSUES IN FEMInistBioethics, is entirely different inscope and purpose than Roiphe's reflections.The book is a collection of formalphilosophical essays on the moral implicationsof abortion, reproductive technology,and genetic testing written over thelast 20 years. Purdy, who teaches philosophyat Wells College, is interested inbringing the rigors of her academic disciplineto the moral issues underlyingwomen's childbearing choices. She also iscommitted to demonstrating that feministethics deserves the attention of seriousphilosophers. Therefore, she applies therules of formal logic to each issue, testingthe merits of each argument with the formaldemand that "equal consideration ofinterests would mean that women's interestswould count as heavily as those ofmen and, where the two come into conflict,would be taken to outweigh thoseinterests at least half the time."Purdy is much more skeptical thanRoiphe when it comes to the reasonswomen choose to bear or raise children.Aligned with what Roiphe considersanti-baby posturing, Purdy is convincedthat social pressures have more to dowith reproductive decisions than intrinsicdesire. Thus, while Roiphe and Purdymight agree on the current aim of feminism,which, as Purdy puts it, is "to helpwomen take more control of their lives,"the two women have very different ideasabout how close women are to achievingthat goal. Purdy believes that the threatsto women's self-determination are enormous,consisting not only of the pronatalismthat Roiphe dismisses, but of theinsidious sexism that overtly challengeswomen's development, and makes it difficultfor them to feel as suited to otherroles as they are to nurturing.Purdy's chief concerns about the difficultyof making reproductive decisionscome to the fore in her 1995 essay, "WhatCan Progress in Reproductive TechnologyMean for Women?" At issue iswhether the risks involved in genetictesting, which allows women to abort seriouslyimpaired fetuses, outweighs itspotential good. Here, as in later argumentsabout abortion, Purdy emphasizesthe burden on women raising children ina sexist society. Without guaranteedhealth care, child care, or equal opportunitiesin education and the workplace,raising children can be an overwhelmingresponsibility. Purdy's view of how grimparenting can be is even starker, in anessay comparing compulsory pregnancy(which is what a ban on abortionamounts to) with the International LaborOrganization's definition of forced labor.017THE WISE WOMAN2441 Cordova StreetOakland, CA94602(510)536-3174The CulturalContradictionsof MotherhoodSharon Hays"A lucid, probing examination of our culture'scontradictory and troubled relationshipto motherhood—and how it affectsmothers....A thoughtful analysis."—Kirkus Reviews"Hays's intellectually incendiaryCulturalContradictionscould add needednuance tofeministthought—and perhapsignite changein mothers'over-burdenedlives."—The Nation$2$.00YALE UNIVERSITY PRESSP.O. BOX 20904O, NEW HAVEN, CT 06520THE WISE WOMAN, a national journal, locuses on feministIssues, Goddess lore, feminist spirituality, and Feminist Witchcraft.Published quarterly since 1980 by Ann Fortreedom.Includes: women's history, news, analysis, reviews, art, photos,poetry, cartoons by BOIbul, exclusive interviews, and originalresearch about witch-hunts, women's heritage, and women today.Subscription: $15 yr./$27 for 2 yrs./ $38 for 3 yrs. (U.S. funds).Sample copy or back Issue: $4 (U.S. funds).Microfilm: available In the Alternative Press Collection of UniversityMicrofilms International. Contact: UMI, University Microfilms, Inc.,300 North Zeeb Road, Ann Arbor, Ml 48106-1346.The Wise Woman - Timely, Yel Timeless.THE WISE WOMAN. J441 Cordova SI.. Oakland, CA 94602.Subscribe now to The Wise Woman, and send In a copy of this ad,and you will be sent a free gift of matriarchal significancelSpring 1997 • ON THE ISSUES
Page 1:
FEMINIST CULTURE • POLITICS • R
Page 11: thors suggest are naively "grateful
Page 14 and 15: One Flew Over the Coup:The Sculptur
Page 16 and 17: Desperate Measures:A mother battles
Page 18 and 19: BUSINESS REPLY MAILFIRST-CLASS PERM
Page 20 and 21: ON THE ISSUESS p r i ng 19 97theonl
Page 22 and 23: ported their effort to keep the chu
Page 24 and 25: were not permitted to speak. They m
Page 26: the most drowsy intelligence, I tho
Page 29 and 30: MARGUERITE, Cambridge, Massachusett
Page 31 and 32: W I JxJ_J A, Sunny Valley, OregonWh
Page 33 and 34: Experts expect it will be2000 befor
Page 35 and 36: IN THE MEANTIME, SHE IS HELPINGto c
Page 37 and 38: Touring Bosnia with Swanee Huntand
Page 39 and 40: After her husband's attack, Margare
Page 41 and 42: feminomicsCOLLECTIVEENTREPRENEURSHI
Page 43 and 44: croloan programs. Chicago's Connie
Page 45 and 46: BY RUBY R O H R L I C H1I OW COULD
Page 47 and 48: At the end of World War II, Rita re
Page 49 and 50: and we are working to make life bet
Page 51 and 52: My 1st gift to:AddressCityMy 2nd gi
Page 53: ooks& filmsThe battle between femin
Page 57 and 58: IEImary caretaker and the wish to n
Page 59 and 60: CHKSLKR (continuedfrom page 7)my es
Page 61 and 62: ain't never done nothing for him? I
Page 63 and 64: said the deputy director of an Amer
Page 65 and 66: SWANEE HUNT (from page 33)amassing
Page 67 and 68: Looking for Another Great Feminist
show all

I Am Beautiful: A Celebration of Women in Their Own Words

Create successful ePaper yourself

Delete template?

Save as template?