ackpageCarol HenryNO DISNEY, PLEASE!A baby-shower <strong>in</strong>vitation also welcomesthe author's granddaughter to a brave new world.Big news! We're hav<strong>in</strong>g a baby! Yes, you and I and you!That's if you agree it takes a village, and I'll assume you do.Our child will jo<strong>in</strong> Jacob with Julie and StuUp <strong>in</strong> Vermont, where the England is new.It won't surprise you to hear we're mak<strong>in</strong>g new rules—Like I'm plann<strong>in</strong>g a shower for both Stuart and JulesGift<strong>in</strong>g before the birth, hmmm...not sure what to th<strong>in</strong>k?Let's move on: How are you on baby boys who wear hot p<strong>in</strong>k?Someth<strong>in</strong>g else concerns you. I hear you say<strong>in</strong>g, "Oy,How can I know what's an acceptable toy?"First there's the issue <strong>of</strong> the companies: Which exploit childlabor? Which kill trees?Which pollute the air and the seven seas?Which use animals as testees?And which are run—Cod forbid—by Republicans, please?Did the makers <strong>of</strong> car seats and baby carriagesLobby for or aga<strong>in</strong>st same-sex marriages?Fisher-Price seems safe—oops; they use a lot <strong>of</strong> plastic.If an item is educational, are standards more elastic?Guns, <strong>of</strong> course, are bad...home-spun is goodOh, if I'd only learned how to knit with wood.Well, if you're really not sure about what to br<strong>in</strong>gYou can say the hell with it and do your own th<strong>in</strong>g,But know that <strong>in</strong> lieu <strong>of</strong> Bloomies, Saks and Tiffany,Julie/Stu have registered their preferences with—me!Clothes would be great; anyth<strong>in</strong>g Disney would not.No stuffed animals, please (though no one's asked our tot).And if, by the way, you're th<strong>in</strong>k<strong>in</strong>g crib sheets and the likeI have to warn you: What crib? They'll sleep with the tyke.Books, bunt<strong>in</strong>g, bath<strong>in</strong>g stuff would all make their day...Uncle Judd would too; perhaps you'll fly him <strong>in</strong> from Taipei.—Well, I hate to <strong>in</strong>terrupt me while I'm on a roll,but I need to make some headway toward my goal.The date for this event is Sunday, October thirteenat neither 12:30 or 1:30, but precisely <strong>in</strong> between.My home and hearth will be our venue,call 555-1234 and tell me—can you?So now you're worry<strong>in</strong>g about the food, I knowWill there be veggies only, will the beef be faux.Well, the soycakes will be fresh, the goat milk div<strong>in</strong>eBut there won't be pigs' feet. (They're friends <strong>of</strong> m<strong>in</strong>e.)CAROL HENRY is awriter for Gay Men's HealthCrisis <strong>in</strong> New York City.Louisa Ruth HenryStrothman, Carol'sfirst grandchild, wasborn last November.Pictured, left toright, Carol Henry,Julie, Louisa and Stu.60 O N T H E I S S U E S • S p r i n g 1 9 9 7
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