Honey, can you pass me a shit bag? - Ousley Creative

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PITCH 23angel with one of thosestuffed pigs westashed on thesummit (nor would Iendure any avoidabletoil that day). We hiked the expensive stuffdown to the raps then stumbled our way pastManure Pile Buttress, having planned to retrievethe remaining payload via Tamarack Campgroundwhen we were damn ready.We completed the 18-mile round trip fromTamarack in an unhurried day. After ourextended vertical experience, the act of doingsomething—anything—without a harness on,beyond the grip of drop-that-and-it’s-gonethinking, was a vacation indeed. Never mind thegiant haul bag on my back; the abrasions itlovingly administers to my lower back, thecarnage it threatens on my meniscal cartilage,the sheer mass and weight that would just assoon expedite my return to our good earth.Back at the truck, there was suddenly andoddly nothing left for us to do. Our ascent wascomplete. Seventeen days on the wall, on a routethat has been climbed in nineteen-plus hours. I’dbe surprised to know the Muir Wall has beenclimbed in a greater length of time from theground up than we took. For all our hacking andslacking, I have to believe we set some kind ofrecord up there—personal bests (or worsts) aside.Wall Drug againBack in Orange County, a low flying FedEx jetcoursed through the air space perpendicular toour path on the southbound I-5. Somethingabout that jet triggered an overwhelming senseof disbelief in me. It seemed that every mechanicalPITCH 22
device in this human-crafted universe functioned nearlyperfectly against ominous odds. Hopeless complexityloomed everywhere. Dearkins and I agreed on this distinctweirdness and its defiance of accurate description. Chalk itup to a healthy dose of Wall Drug.Now, the people in their airtight land ships surroundingus seemed on an agenda of ludicrous worth. They appearedto completely lack autonomy, as if programmed for thepursuit of whiter teeth, a clean, fresh scent and the ultimatedriving machine. I knew these cyborgs hadn’t a thoughtabout atmospheric pressure systems or the relative locationof the star that warms Earth and enables them to live.Behind this confounding display of strangeness lay abackdrop of calm. Obscured as the backdrop becomes, italways displays its prismatic sanctuary to the patientobserver. And for the renegade—the castaway from all of our sillyamassment—lies an endlessdimension of the real reality.The vertical playground awaitsthe couple up for inter-personalintensity, for better or worse. Assomeone mused after our ascent,“so, you’re still together?”PLEASE SUPPORTAccess Fund accessfund.orgAmerican Alpine Club americanalpineclub.orgAmerican Safe Climbing Associationsafeclimbing.orgNational Park Service nps.govTHANKS TOAdventure 16, OC crewBlack Diamond EquipmentChris for the bedColorado Custom HardwareFalkenstein Photo and Blazing SpokesMussatto-Ousley national networkNassirys and Nasserys everywhereprAna, Matt the ManRockreation, Costa MesaSnuffy, Mister and MissesSupertopo, LLCTuolomne Store employeesYates GearYosemite Mountain Shop
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Honey, can you pass me a shit bag? - Ousley Creative

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