The Rock 'N' Roll Diaries

“It was the only thing my wanker of an old man left me,”Tea said, his voice deep and husky. “That and how to play thefucking thing.”“Well, you certainly can play it,” Egg said, blushing.Tea nodded, glanced at Burt with unveiled scorn and leftthe room.Egg turned to Burt excitedly. “He’s the best player we’veseen. I don’t think he has any idea just how good he is!”Burt wrinkled his perfect features. “I’m not sure he’s theright fit!”“Why not? He’s the only one who can play. He’s exactlythe right fit.”Burt made for the door. “I need a piss.”Egg – 19th SeptemberThe auditions were yesterday. The standard was lowand Burt was very annoying. He likened himself toWilson Cloom from that TV show Next Big Thing but whenit came to commenting on them he was very positive,probably because all except two were in the LBC. Ireally must find out what that stands for. Spencer,Christian, Zayn and of course George all auditioned.They were all rubbish.When Tea walked in it was like a breath of fresh air.He was really cool. He didn’t say a word, just startedlaying down great bass lines. I felt a pang of hope. Myonly critique would be that he puts slightly too manynotes into each bar but he could obviously really play.27