Download PDF - The Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood

Essays & PerspectivesPursuing Manhood 1Ray Van NesteAssistant Professor of Christian StudiesDirector, R. C. Ryan Center for Biblical StudiesUnion UniversityJackson, TennesseeWhat follows is an address that I gave to someyoung men at my college who asked me to speak to themabout the issue of pursuing manhood. This is an importanttopic not least because of the confusion that seemsto reign in the minds of so many about what manhoodis and how one progresses well in this journey. I haveseen Garrison Keilor quoted as saying, “Manhood wasonce seen as an opportunity for achievement, but nowseems like a problem to overcome.” So though my commentsare directed at college-aged young men, they mayfind application to men of other ages as well.I know some have told you that the way totake leadership, step up, and progress in manhoodis to get married. However, I must differ. Marriageis the last thing some of you need to be thinking ofjust now. You need to grow up first. I affirm what Ithink these others are trying to say—start preparingyourself for marriage. Move “Halo” down yourlist of priorities in order to begin thinking aboutwhat sort of vocation you will pursue, how you’regoing to pay your bills, etc. But much progress inthis may be needed before you really start lookingfor a wife. If you are not right now getting yourclass work done, and fulfilling your comparativelylight responsibilities as a single student, then don’teven consider the prospects of marriage. Insteadstart working on growing up.Our culture is infatuated with youth andencourages you not to grow up. After all, it says, theglory is in the youth. If you would be men, you mustreject this siren song and swim against the tide. Youmust diligently seek to throw off immaturity and togrow up. Remember the one boy who never grewup was Peter Pan—and in case you haven’t noticed,his role has typically been played by a woman. <strong>The</strong>chase for perpetual youth is never manly. <strong>The</strong> otherexample of avoiding the effects of growing up is themedieval boys choirs. To maintain the high voicesof the boys as they aged, the boys might be castrated.Again, avoiding maturity is emasculating.So my main point to you is work on growingup. It does not “just happen.” Examples aboundof physically mature males who have never trulyattained manhood because they failed to mature inany way other than physically. So, what does it looklike to grow up in manliness? No doubt this couldbe discussed in many ways. I’ll just take a stab atseveral that I think are important based on my ownreflections on scripture and my observations of theyoung collegiate men whom I teach.Take Responsibility/ Reject PassivityWith our modern invention of “adolescence”(which now includes the college-aged male) youcan be encouraged to float along without much realresponsibility, just get by in classes, major in play, bea goof-off, sample the girls to whatever extent youcan, and not really consider responsibility.However, if you would be a man you mustshake off the doldrums. I enjoy life, like to laughand to joke (even if not everyone appreciates puns!),but that is different from being a total goof-off. Itis not until there is a weightiness in your core that12 JBMW | Spring 2008