Download PDF - The Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood

you really have the opportunity and the privilegeto engage in playfulness, too. When I was in Scotland,there were a number of good guys who werethere studying at the same time I was. We wouldget together at various times and have an ongoingconversation about the man of gravitas (Latin for“weightiness”). <strong>The</strong> word refers to a certain “bearing”or dignity. <strong>The</strong> man of gravitas is not one whocannot joke, but one who has a weightiness in whathe says, one who has an opinion that matters basedon his proven character. We must establish that. Ifwe are not moving in that direction, then we arenot maturing. Laugh when it is appropriate, butif you can’t be serious at the proper times you areimmature. You don’t need to jeopardize any womanby talking about a serious relationship with her.Find ways now to discipline yourself in beingresponsible. Here are some ways:Do Your WorkTake seriously your current obligations. Learnand discipline yourself to complete your schoolassignments and to do them well. Be on time atwork and in class. This may seem pretty basic, butit is an essential starting place. I challenge yourmanhood, right here, right now, if you are not, on aregular basis, getting your work done and turning itin on time. We say we want to take on the responsibilityof leading a family or assuming leadershipat a job, but we can’t do an assignment and turn itin? It starts with the small things. If we are faithfulin little, we will be faithful in much.Own Your FailuresReject the blame game. When the buck ispassed, it is always done with a limp wrist. If youdid not get your assignment done on time, own upto it and drop the lame excuses. Refusing to ownyour failures—playing the blame game—is anabandonment of manhood. You cannot lead andavoid responsibility at the same time. Face it like aman. If you simply did not discipline your time sufficientlyto accomplish the task, don’t spin it withsome religious sounding excuse. If your roommatewas in a crisis, I am glad you were willing to stay upall night last night to talk with him. But your paperis still due today. You should not have waited untilthe last day to complete it.We see this at the Fall (Genesis 3). When Godcomes, he calls Adam to account, but Adam passesthe blame to Eve. However, Paul makes it clearthat the ultimate responsibility for the sin restedon Adam (Rom 5:12–21). Avoidance of responsibilityis an old and pernicious sin which will neuteryou. Fight it!Expect to WorkGod made you to work. Reject laziness. Seelaziness not merely as a foible but as damnable sin, adangerous cancer that can eat away your soul. Lazinessand avoidance of work is a typical sin for men,so wage a particularly diligent and merciless waragainst it in your own soul.Yes, work-aholism is another error that affectsmen, but the answer is not laziness. In fact workaholismis often a way of avoiding the really challengingwork of caring for and leading one’s wifeand children.Work is good and ennobling. If this is not theway you think, change your thinking to adopt thisbiblical view (Col 3:23). Reject the “live for theweekend” mentality. Instead, begin asking God andgodly leaders what work He has for you to do. Findyour calling. Yes, I know He created you for Hisglory, to be in relationship with Him and with others.But He also made you to work, and that workwill be one main way in which you glorify God.For what task were you created? To what work willyou commit yourself? You need to have some clearthoughts about this (not a full blueprint) before youcan seriously consider marriage. Before you shouldtake a wife you need to know where you’re takingher. You need to know what you intend to do inlife. Of course, God sometimes shifts things, andthings change. But you need to have a goal. Youneed to know, to the best of your ability, under God,and in concert with godly, wise counsel, where youare headed.Reject the Temptation to Whine and ComplainOne of the most “un-manly” things you can dois whine. I am not saying, “Don’t admit weaknesses,JBMW | Spring 2008 13