DoNNYBROOK FAIR 1921 - Goucher College

or~tfum ~ours of ~Once upon a time there was a student at Goucher who shone as a brilliantsocial light there and as an athletic star, to say nothing of the brightway in which she discharged the duties of the many offices intrusted to her.Besides all this she was very brainy. It would seem that there could benothing left to be desired: that this student must be perfectly happy. Butalas, no. Some of her teachers didn't know she was so brain)'. They thoughtshe was as bright as an 1870 nickel. And so she was dO\vnhearted. It justhappened that the professors always asked her questions she could notanswer. She "felt the cruelty of this keenly. She would not have been sobitter had she known nothing at all, but she felt she did know something,­in fact, everything except what had been asked her. Nor did her luck change.Invariably she was asked what she knew not.And there rose up before her an awful spectre. · It haunted her ever -where. It never gave her a moment's peace. Its name was "Seven !-:Toursof D." .She tried in every way she knew to avoid the spook, but it kept pursuingher, its clawlike hands outstretched as if to seize and crush her. Shecould not get a way. Despair came over her and suicide seemed the onlyescape from the dreadful ghoul. For Death looked very sweet beside D's.She rushed out and flung herself on a Blue Bus. She rode and rode butDeath did not come. Her soul was crushed in an agony of grief. Still Deathdid not come; yet she could not bear to stop, for it seemed she must thengo mad. Frantically she continued and continued like a story in the Cosmopolitan; but not even an accident happened. Then she began to meditateon a surer and quicker form of suicide. Should she drown herself ? No;she might forget and swim out. Should she shoot herself? N o; she mightmiss. Plan after plan suggested itself to her mind and was rejected. Andthen in a flash she had a happy thought. Perhaps there was a chance yet forher life.One of the unfeeling professors was giving a tea the next afternoon.She would go to the tea, talk to the professor, and perhaps impress the ladywith the fact that she knew a great deal, at least enough to net her a C. So,comforted, she went to h er hall and began to make preparations for themorrow.Kext day she dressed carefully: it took h er two hours and a quarter todo so. Then she drank a chocolate milk shake to quiet her nerves and acoca cola to brace her up. \ i\f ith these preparations she got on a bus andstarted for the tea . . As sh e neared her destination she grew more and moreexcited. Finally she had to admit it was nervousness. By the time she hadreached the door her knees were knocking against each other, and her teethsounded like a ty pewriter in action. A cold and clammy perspiration hadspread over her forehead. But bravely she rang the bell and vvas usheredin,- and into where the professor sat pouring tea.Two hundred and sixt:y-six