Dealing with Toxic People

Dealing with Toxic PeoplePosted by Angelmary Koola April 12, 2007Imagine a world where people were always pleasant and kind. Everyone helped one another,no one judged each other, and every relationship you have enhances your life. Unfortunately,the reality is not what John Lennon sang about in his song ‘Imagine’. In fact, the truth is,almost everyone has to deal with a toxic person in their life at one time or another. Whether isa family member, a co-worker, a boss, or even a friend, these people are the ones that end upcausing you unnecessary stress.Stress happens to be a major player in how your body operates. It is true that stress is neededfor your body to function. However, excessive stress can cause your body to begin to movedown an unhealthy road where diseases and illness start to take over.For example, when you feel depressed about anything, you will feel that depressionthroughout your body. You will feel sluggish, lazy, tired, and generally under the weather.The stress from being depressed effects your eating habits and your lifestyle, in turn causingyour body to work less efficiently. Whether it is an abusive spouse, a neglectful parent, acondescending boss, or a leech-type friend, the stress can become toxic to your health.Recognizing toxic peopleWho are these toxic people to watch out for? Toxic people are ultimately the people whocause you the most negative stress in your life. They are the people that make you feelunhappy, or spoil your mood purposely every chance they get. They are also the people whotend to be manipulative, deceiving and conniving. They could also be the ones thatinadvertently cause you stress by harming themselves, for instance a family member that is adrug addict.Sometimes toxic people are people you love very much like your children, parents or spouse.At times, it is hardest to distance yourself when you are actually related to the toxic person inyour life.Handling yourself around toxic peopleFirst and foremost, keep it in the front of your mind that it is not at all selfish to change theway a toxic person affects you. Keep in mind that when you are stressed, your immunesystem becomes weaker. Therefore you are more prone to disease. Look at the followingadvice as a way to stay healthy, just like exercising or eating well.1. If possible, let whatever toxic nonsense they spew go in one ear and out the other.Pretend to listen, but don’t really hear what they say or do altogether. If you are in asituation where you have to listen to someone, like your boss, then look below.2. Kill them with kindness.I know this is easier said than done. Sometimes your kindness can be taken advantageof, which might even make it worse. Other times though, if the toxic person is trying tobreak you down by saying rude things, they might realize it’s not worth the effort since it isno longer affecting you.

3. Do your best to be cautious and to avoid the person as much as possible.If you are at a party, occupy yourself with helping the host instead of being in the room withthe other person. If you are at a family function, be busy chatting with cousins so you don’tget a chance to see or hear the toxic person. This may not work with a boss at work, but canwork with co-workers.4. Focus on the good things you have in your life when you are around them.This will make it difficult for them to penetrate and ruin your mood. Be happy to have a roofover your head, meals to eat, quality friends and family, and pretty soon the toxic person willhave no affect on you. Any time they begin to wear down on you be thankful for what youhave and realize they may lack many of the blessing you have in your life.5. Realize that you should feel sorry for the toxic person.They are not blessed with a good life and mind, which is why they spend their time ruiningyour day. When you begin to pity them, you will find that their misdeeds are minor.