Viva Brighton September 2015 Issue #31

food
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Bronx Burger
Beef in the Lanes
A mid-August sunny Monday lunchtime: ideal time for
office-skiving, and people-watching. I decide to go to the
Mesmerist, to try out one of their ‘Bronx Burgers’, and am
happy to see there’s a table free in their suntrap outside
space, on the corner of Bartholomew Square. This bit of the Lanes has a completely different demographic
to its more Brightoner-frequented, hipsterful neighbour, North Laine. I decide, while sipping
a pint of Brighton Pale Ale, to do a very unscientific survey, on a napkin. This reveals the following (all
figures hugely approximate): 30% of passers-by wear sunglasses; 50% (from their slightly aimless gait
and slightly bored expressions) are tourists; only about 5% have visible tattoos; ten times more people
hold mobile phones than one another’s hands. My burger arrives, with pleasingly contoured chips, in a
red plastic basket, into which I squirt mayonnaise. The ‘Bronx’, one of eight choices, has cost me £8, and
is, according to the menu, ‘topped with crispy bacon, butter-fried white onions, baby gem lettuce and
our house burger dressing’. The beef patty, which has pleasing heft, has a home-made, hasn’t-witnessedthe-freezer
quality. The bread is of the soft, brioche variety. It’s a tasty burger. The chips are good, too,
or more accurately the ‘skin-on, triple cooked, hand-cut French fries, seasoned with our house smoked
paprika salt’. ‘Triple cooked’ sounds a bit worrying, but they’re good fries. Apart from the garnish on the
salad, there’s no attempt to tick off any of my five-a-day, so it’s vegetable stew for dinner. Alex Leith
5
Friday 2nd to Sunday 4th October
Fourth