NEXUS ISSUE 24 2014

N.24 / V.46

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nexus magazine
EDITOR
RACHAEL ELLIOTT
EDITOR@NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ
CONTENTS
DESIGN
HAYLIE GRAY
MANAGING EDITOR
JAMES RAFFAN
CONTRIBUTORS
SPORTS GUY
DR RICHARD SWAINSON
BEATS BY J
PETER DORNAUF
AUNTY SLUT
ALIX HIGBY
JESSICA WILSON
AMBER CARDALE
KARL GUETHERT
LOUISE HUTT
SWEET PAINTED LADY
LAURENCE MCLEAN
MATT HICKS
CHRISTOPHER YOUSEF-KADER
JULES CRAFT
SARA LEMME
DARCIE
ZAC LYON
DR DAVE SNELL
HP
BRITTANY ROSE
—
_03 Editorial
_04 Lettuce to the Editor
_05 News
_08 News from the University
_09 Sport
_10 Ridiculist & Vox Pops
_11 Reviews
_14 Honest Matt
_15 Horoscopes & Playlist
_16 Auteur
COVER ARTWORK
EMILY LOWE
WWW.BEHANCE.NET/EMILYLOWE
PHOTOGRAPHY
ASHLEIGH MATTHEWS
BROOK JAMES
CAM ROBINSON
WILLIAM STILES
ANDRE KONG
LOUISE HUTT
ADVERTISING
ADS@NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ
OFFICES
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GATE ONE, UNIVERSITY OF WAIKATO
KNIGHTON ROAD, HAMILTON
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@NEXUSMAG
SPOTIFY: NEXUSMAGAZINE
_17 Arts and Stuff
_18 Oh The Drugs You'll Take
_22 Up Your Away-Game: How to
Pack for Summer
_24 Quotes of the Year
_26 The Doctor is In
_30 Columns
_38 Blind Date
_39 Advice
_41 Recipe
_42 Puzzles
2 nexusmag.co.nz

nexus magazine
PHOTOGRAPH: WILLIAM STILES
EDITORIAL
RACHAEL ELLIOTT
—
It’s been a funny week, putting together what might be my last
Nexus. While I hope I’m here next year to cause some more
trouble, if I’ve learnt anything at all while at university, it’s that
the future is uncertain. You can plan until you’re purple- life is going
to take whichever road it chooses, regardless of how you feel about
it. There is both a T and an S semester to go through before I know
what’s happening next year- not to mention a long hot summer of
unknown shenanigans.
I might get hit by a bus. I might win lotto. I might move to Havelock
North, or Tauranga, or Kaitaia. I could lose my arms in some kind of
weird and tragic boating mishap. Some fool might pay me to write
and dance and ride my horse (which would kind of be like winning
lotto). Or I might be back here causing trouble.
I’ve given up trying to think too far ahead. It’s exhausting, and it
sets you up for disappointment. Some people think this makes me a
directionless fool, but there’s something oddly freeing about focusing
on the moment, instead of trying to project yourself into a constantly
changing future. The world you walk out into when you graduate looks
so different from the one you planned your degree in. When I interviewed
Norman Kingsbury he said “study the thing that really turns
you on because in 5 years’ time you may have found that you have a
degree in something that people may not want anymore.” A lot can
happen in five years. How many jobs are going to be created? How
many jobs are going to be obsolete? Are you going to be single, are
you going to meet someone, will you get married, will you have kids?
And how many iPhones are going to come out in 5 years, and how
many people are going to realise they’re just consumerist nonsense?
Editing Nexus has been a lot of fun. For all the times I shook my
head in despair over the grammar and spelling that came across my
desk, there were a dozen awesome things to counter it.
Particular highlights include getting dunked in the Edge’s dunk tank
on the coldest morning I can remember (I think I even had shoes
on, to give you an idea). I got to interview a wide range of people-
Winston Peters, Gareth Hughes, Chris Hipkins, Russell Norman…
(why are all the politicians I interviewed male?) as well as familiar
faces like Nigel Latta and Nicky Hager. I caught some rad gigs, I
worked with some rad people, and the best thing of all? I got to write.
It’s not overrated, doing the thing you love. It’s actually fucking
magic. Even when you’re poor. Even when you’re stressed. Even
when people are ragging on you. Even when you’re so exhausted that
you can’t imagine how you’re going to get through one more hour…
The thing you love is still there. Sometimes it hangs on by a thread
so thin you can barely see it, but it’s there.
So fuck all the pressure, fuck the expectations, fuck the economy,
fuck the lot of it. Do the thing that you love. Do the thing that you’re
so passionate about it hurts when you can’t do it. Because you never
know what’s going to happen- but you can know that you’re doing
the right thing.
3

nexus magazine
LETTUCE
DISCLAIMER:
Letters published contain the opinion of
the writer and the writer alone. Nexus
publications take no responsibility for the
content or opinions so expressed. By submitting
your letter you give consent to its
publication in Nexus and subsequent public
scrutiny. Letters are the authors own
work and Nexus will not edit to compensate
for lack of intelligence or coherency.
Nexus reserves the right to edit or refuse
to publish any letter which breaches any
law, is defamatory to any person, or contains
threats of violence or hate speech.
"Untouched"
A SUPPORTIVE LOCAL
Dear R.M.S Tee,
If a Greenie falls down a mine shaft, will it make a
sound? Probably, you won't hear the end of their opinion
to be honest.
But really though how much research did you do? A
quick browse online?
The proposed 2 yr exploratory mine will use an existing
underground mine, portal and structures. Leaving local
flora, fauna and waterways untouched. Isn't it also great
how it will benefit the local community with workers
employed locally? The Coromandel Peninsula is struggling
to grow it's economy because we aren't allowed
to do or touch anything for fear of enraging all the city
dwellers who want to keep New Zealand "untouched".
Pull over during your next commute to the concrete
jungles, walk to the top of one of those magnification
cliffs and please clear your head.
Disgusted
B.M GORDON - BOP POLY
Hi, on upon reading your nexus mag v.46 I am disgusted
with the language in your "dear aunty slut" section. I
understand that the target audience for this article is
late teens and early adults but I'm an open minded 20
year old and I am disgusted. This sort of article is great
for helping young adults with "sexual" problems but the
use of that language is not needed.
I hope you take this opinion into consideration when
writing future mags.
Offended
SANDRA
Some topics in the nexus is offensive yes there is a
place for humor but then theres getting into that deep
shit like religon .. although it was one persons opinion
the amount of people this effected. Shiiiiiiit. Yous are
askn fr a riot. Arrogant enough to say theres no god but
no arrogant to think theirs aliens ... greeeeeat !
Rigged
DANIEL
All I do during STMG is the code word, and I swear to
God it's rigged this week. But yeah, prove me wrong,
can you send us the answers.
God's Defender
EVERYTHING THAT IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD
I would like to thank Rachael for sharing her beliefs with
us in her editorial last week. If I understand correctly her
argument is something along these lines.
There exist people who believe in God who are
hypocrites.
The purpose of life is to drink and get naked.
Therefore there is no God.
Or did I miss something? It seems funny that an editorial
should begin with the categorical statement that 'there
is no God', then reference Descartes and postulate that
actually there is no categorical truth. Also seems funny
that she should say this with such conviction when it
seems like she has only a bit of anecdotal evidence to
back it up. And do you really believe zombies are more
likely than a God? Zombies only have precedence in
fiction, while we have historical accounts of Jesus. You
have a 'just in case' for zombies, but won't give God a
chance?
I respect your beliefs and your experiences, and can
see why you've decided to come to the conclusions
you have. I just have a big issue personally accepting
that life has no more meaning than to maximise our happiness.
I also think that the question of whether there
is a God is a very important question that each person
has to answer for themselves. If rather than saying that
you believe there is no God, you choose to say there is
in fact no God, are my beliefs then invalid because of
yours? You can't decide that people have the freedom
to believe in what they want if you exclude any belief in
a deity from their options.
4 nexusmag.co.nz

NEWS
nexus magazine
INTERNATIONAL
CHRISTOPHER YOUSEF-KADER
—
For those of you who were actually studying and sensibly
quarantining(more on which later) yourselves from the
news this year, here is a quick recap of some. It's a bit weird
to be writing with 80 odd days to go in the year and so
much potential for novel carnage on the cards,.
Kicking things off, on February 13, presciently predicting
the general vibe of news to come this year, Belgium became
the first country to legalise child euthanasia.
On the 22 nd of the same month, hundreds of days of
unrest in Ukraine's capital, Kiev, came to a head when
the Ukrainian parliament voted to boot out Russia-friendly
President Viktor Yanukovych, eventually replacing him with
oligarch chocolatier Petro Poroshenko. Tom Clancy dweebs
have been thrilled since the Russians seized Crimea from
Ukraine in late February. Since then the international audience
has been titilated with nuke-stalgia in a tit-for-tat of
sanctions and condemnations between Russia and Western
powers. Meanwhile, people in Eastern Ukraine watched the
depressing spectacle of their society being torn apart by
foriegn-backed internecine warfare. They’ve seen a mildly
deadly truce since September 5 th .
The next big story is Malaysia Airlines Flight 370. If you
somehow missed this, a big plane and all it's passengers
are missing since March 8. En route from Kuala Lumpur to
Beijing the Boeing 777 carrying 12 crew and 227 passengers
was originally thought to have gone down somewhere
in the South China Sea. This was the worst accident ever
involving a Malaysia Airlines plane or Boeing 777... Until
131 days later when the same type of plane operated by
the same airline was shot down over the battle zone in
Ukraine. Searches in the Gulf of Thailand, the South China
Sea and then the Strait of Malacca and Adaman Sea proved
fruitless and experts concluded that the plane had actually
flown considerably off course and wound up in the Southern
Indian Ocean off Western Australia. The lack of any trace
of the plane thus far, despite the record-breaking scale of
the search coupled with the fact that airliners attract conspiracy
theories, has given rise to numerous weird ideas
about what happened.
civilian) Palestinian lives later, not much has changed.
Notable mention goes to Nigeria's Boko Haram terrorist
group for their sickening indiscriminate massacres and
April kidnapping of 276 schoolgirls with the intent to sell
them, 200 of which are still missing.
The main course as far as terror news are the gore artists
formerly known as ISIS/ISIL and now called the Islamic
State(IS) whose Northern Iraqi offensive has been taking on
Kurds, the Iraqi Army and rival militias since June. Hailing
from Iraq and gestating in the depths of the ongoing Syrian
Civil War, radicaler-than-thou IS, lead by self-proclaimed
caliph Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi made a name for itself muscling
out other Islamist militias like Al Qaeda affiliated
Jabhat al-Nusra. Taking in battle-hardened Chechen fighters,
misfits who can be fitted for a suicide vest and anyone
in between, IS has heaped more suffering on an already
fucked region and captured the hysterical imagination of
the international media, lately dominating news-cycles
with their morbidly honed take on the telethon - threatening
to kill captured western aid workers and journalists
by beheading, and then doing it, one by one. The western
response to this medieval, albeit media savvy, threat is a
19th century-style imperial slap-down. The Americans, who
brutalised some of the IS core cadre in Abu Ghraib prison is
currently leading a coalition of equally tarnished Arab allies
in an open-ended military campaign against IS. Our SAS
might follow the Aussies into the fray, with unpredictable
consequences.
Lastly, Ebola has killed somewhere over three thousand
people in its worst ever outbreak since its discovery in 1976.
The epidemic originating in Guinea has spread through
West Africa and most recently lead to a confirmed case
in Spain and one fatality in the USA. The WHO calls it the
"most severe acute public health emergency seen in modern
times" and Medecins Sans Frontieres, one of the primary
groups working to contain it, has been critical of the lack of
urgency in the international response. Its imminent spread
to the First World will hopefully be the shot in the arm that
response needs.
The third stand out story of the year so far is terrorism. In
July Israel launched its periodic invasion of Gaza, this time
named Operation Protective Edge by an IDF PR person who
clearly wish they worked for a toothpaste company. The
Invasion lead to the routine, tempered reaction from international
diplomats juxtaposed against mass protests in cities
around the world. 66 Israeli and over 2000(overwhelmingly
Also, in not-news this year: the hands of the financial
doomsday clock continue to spin back around to midnight,
Germany wins at soccer, Scotland part of the UK.
5

nexus magazine
LOCAL NEWS REVIEW
SARA LEMME
—
FLUORIDE BACK IN WATER
Fluoride was a big huge, fucking massive deal in Hamilton this year, for some reasons that
weren’t entirely scientific but perhaps arguably rights-based. The council had decided to
review water fluoridation in the Hamilton water supply in 2012, and stopped fluoridation in
June 2013 pending non-binding referendum that took place during the local elections last
year. The results were overwhelmingly in favour of fluoridating the water but it’s not certain
if this was due to indifference, fear of change, or a really good campaign by the Waikato DHB.
The council deferred their decision until a High Court decision came through this year in
which another local council was found to be within their rights to fluoridate the water. The
council began the process of fluoridation in June this year.
LEGAL HIGHS BANNED
Pressure from anti-legal high advocates, Hamilton residents and local politicians (along
with a campaign by the Waikato Times) managed to have all 6 of the city’s legal high retailers
shut down and banned from selling them in March this year. Under the Psychoactive
Substances Act 2013, local councils, through policy, can regulate where legal highs can
be sold. Hamilton City Council, using specific and intentional wording, effectively made it
impossible for the retailers to meet the criteria forcing them to shut down, and applications
to sell won’t be able to be made until mid-way through next year. The legal high industry
was worth around $30 million a year, but also saw the mental and physical health of a
number of people rapidly decline with the regular ongoing use of the substances.
Lest we forget:
That some businessman called Hugh Speirs has promised to construct us a motherfucking
$10 million ice skating rink next year.
When our beloved lake, Lake Rotoroa, was deemed too toxic for animals and tiny humans
to go anywhere near back in May. bless.
STUDENT
SARA LEMME
—
The year 2014 was a great one to be a student. Assuming of course
that as a student you still lived at home in your parent’s country
estate, had no student loan, no need for a job or central heating and
were doing that philosophy degree because you really just wanted
to search for knowledge.
If however you were a regular student having to hold down one
or more minimum wage jobs to keep the lights on in your crappy
“...MINIMUM WAGE JOBS TO KEEP THE LIGHTS ON
IN YOUR CRAPPY KNIGHTON ROAD FLAT WHILE
BEING BURDENED WITH LIFELONG DEBT...”
Knighton Road flat while being burdened with lifelong debt then it
probably wasn’t a great year for you. The only comfort you can take
is that you’re probably not over 45 because they are really getting
fucked by student allowance changes.
It also wasn’t a great year for student representation. NZUSA is
facing more membership withdrawal while our own board warranted
its own news section. Perhaps the only beacon of light in the
whole thing is SJS which not only managed successful constitutional
change without any major protest but has continued to deliver jobs
for students.
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WSU NEWS REVIEW
SARA LEMME
—
ENVIRONMENTAL
NEWS REVIEW
SARA LEMME
—
Look back into all news relating to the environment, one person
comes to mind, Simon. Fucking. Bridges.
Bridges, the Minister of Energy and Resources and associate
Minister of Climate Change Issues, won his electorate
in Tauranga and has also been promoted to the front bench,
despite the fact that he clearly doesn’t know what he is fucking
doing, ever.
Bridges was heavily criticised this year when it was confirmed
that he had signed off a block offer which involved the
opening up of DOCs largest forest park (Victoria Forest Park)
for oil and gas exploration: a park DOC describes as untouched.
The criticism mostly came from the fact that Bridges, Minister
of Energy and Resources, admitted he had no fucking clue
where the park was… That’s right- zero idea where the biggest
forest park in the country was… true story.
Then not even a week after the International Whaling
Commission urged the government to do more to protect the
Maui Dolphin species, of which there are reportedly only 55
left, Bridges signed off another block offer- 3000 square kms of
marine mammal sanctuary, for oil and gas exploration, which
included the home of the Maui Dolphins.
"I think primarily once you go from exploration right through
to production, you're not jeopardising the wildlife," said
Bridges. Why does he exist? Can anyone explain his existence?
Our dearest Waikato Student’s Union has had a rough
ride this year. The cracks started to show by the end
of semester A, with then VP Maori Andrew “Simba”
Marama-Lyon handing in his resignation, effective
“whenever Aaron wants” and going off to explore the
world of mediocre nz hip-hop videos.
Simba’s resignation, and the continuation of what
has become a tradition of VP Maori resignation before
completing a term, brought the general issue of Maori
representation on campus, on to the agenda.
The WSU board appointed a new VP Maori, Steffen
Van Lieshout, who did a great job under the circumstances.
Ropu groups on campus,who represent
a fairly large portion of Maori students, were then
involved in discussions surrounding the role of the
VP Maori and decided on 4 options for how to go
forward with Maori representation, to be put to a vote
at an S.G.M.
The WSU contended that there was adequate
consultation for the S.G.M, while disgruntled Maori
students who attended vehemently claimed there
was not. The only email sent to members was a
notice that the S.G.M was occurring- no mention of
the gravity of what was being decided on. The S.G.M
itself was pretty much a bunch of non-Maori students
fiending for free beer and pizza while about 4 Maori
students raised concerns about the consultation process.
A walk out of quite a number of Maori students
occurred but their presence was still counted in quorum
and all motions were passed- the 4th option, that
the VP Maori candidate be endorsed by Maori groups,
won the vote.
Only Aaron spoke. The VP Maori and Ropu members
did not have the opportunity to inform the
majority non-Maori student S.G.M gathering of
their perspective. Inadequately informed and largely
indifferent non-Maori students voted on Maori representation
that day.
Unfortunately for them, all the best efforts to not
consult students adequately before the S.G.M, could
not stop word of what happened there getting out
afterwards; and so, the messiest A.G.M in recent history
took place.
With an hour slot to get everything done, the board
was not in a position to handle the onslaught of disenfranchised
and passionate opinions that arrived.
The Annual report passed, but that was followed by
debate over whether the consultation process was
adequate regarding Maori representation and the
withdrawal from NZUSA. When it came to passing
the minutes of the S.G.M, the whole A.G.M fell apart,
with students contesting the accuracy of the minutes
and asking for amendments. No agreement was
reached and there was no time to pass the annual
plan or the budget.
A second A.G.M is scheduled for this week, and if
this week sees a failure to successfully pass A.G.M
business, it would be considered a vote of no confidence
in the current board
The election was a bit of a joke, with both sides
taking themselves too seriously. It’s great people give
a fuck, it would be better if it was focussed more on
the important stuff, like putting effort into consulting
Maori students across campus rather than a single
group that purports to represent them.
Kudos does need to be given to Aaron, though. He
got us a van to keep all you intoxicated first years
safe during your O-week adventures, and if the Maori
VP issue is not resolved well at this week’s second
attempt at an A.G.M…well then the van might just
be the only positive aspect of his legacy.
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nexus magazine
NEWS FROM THE UNIVERSITY
INFO SESSION IN OCTOBER
—
If you would like to talk to someone about your study options for this summer or for next year, come along
to our info session on 15 October from 2-6pm in the Student Centre. Recruitment staff will be on hand to
answer any questions about study at the University of Waikato, and Faculty staff will be available to help
with programme planning. For a list of all info sessions happening in October, please check out www.
waikato.ac.nz/study/information-sessions.shtml
POSTGRADUATE
INFO SESSION THIS
WEEK
—
Are you considering postgraduate research? As part of
Postgraduate Month, you are invited to attend our drop-in information
session where you will be able to discuss masters research
and doctoral programmes with University postgraduate staff.
The info session is on Wednesday 15 October from 1.15-1.45pm
in S.G.01 on the Hamilton campus. For more information, visit
www.waikato.ac.nz/sasd/postgraduate/postgraduatemonth.shtml
CAMPUS FUN
RUN SERIES
MONDAY
NIGHTS
—
The Campus 5km Fun Run and Walk is on every
Monday night until 15 December and then again
from early 2015. Registrations start at 5pm outside
Momento Café on the Village Green. Walkers start
between 5pm and 6pm, while runners start at 6pm.
Registration is $6 which entitles participants to a
free beer, cider or non-alcoholic drink at the end.
Spot prizes are also awarded on the night. The
Campus 5km Fun Run and Walk is in association
with the Hamilton City Hawks running club,
UniRec, Momento Café and Good George. For more
information email unipr@waikato.ac.nz
REDUCING
EXAM ANXIETY
WORKSHOPS
—
The Counselling service is offering practical-based,
one-hour workshops to assist you in developing skills
and behaviours to reduce anxiety prior to and during
examinations. Hamilton: 15 October 1-2pm in K.3.20,
and 16 October 1-2pm in I. 1.10. Tauranga: 15 October
9.30-10.30am in V124/5 Windermere, 11am-12pm in
V124/5 Windermere, 1-2pm in DT222 Bongard, and
2.30-3.30pm in DT222 Bongard. Numbers are limited
so registration is essential. To register please contact
Maria Reynolds at mariar@waikato.ac.nz
B SEMESTER EXAM
TIMETABLE
—
The 2014 B Semester Examination Timetable is now available.
Please check the Examination Timetable carefully to make sure
you have the correct room, time and date for your exam. You can
check the timetable now by visiting timetable.waikato.ac.nz/
exams. For further enquiries please email exams@waikato.
ac.nz or phone 07 838 4466 extn 8018.
Tauranga students – if you are enrolled in Bay of Plenty
Polytechnic papers and are worried about clashes with your
University of Waikato exams, please contact Anne-Marie Kell,
DT419A, Level 4, Bongard Centre or on 07 571 0190 extn 5158 or
at amkell@waikato.ac.nz
GIVE BLOOD ON
CAMPUS
—
NZ Blood’s Mobile Blood Collection Unit will be at UniRec this
week until Thursday 16 October, 10am-2.30pm each day. Drop-ins
are welcome, but it’s best to make an appointment beforehand –
you can do this by calling 0800 448 325 or visiting www.nzblood.
co.nz and clicking ‘Book Appointment Now’. Don’t forget to bring
your ID and have something to eat and drink before you donate.
8 nexusmag.co.nz

nexus magazine
AFL GRAND
WHY THE MLB
PLAYOFFS MAKE
FOR GREAT
VIEWING
SPORTS GUY - OPINION
—
The Major League Baseball playoffs kicked off at the
start of this month and have already thrown up a few
surprises; but this is why I love postseason sports.
Take the matchup between the Kansas City Royals and
the LA Angels, who had the best regular season record in
baseball. Arguably the best team in the playoffs against
one of the rank outsiders, and the outsiders take a commanding
2-0 lead in the series behind some of the best
defensive play you could see.
Then take the first game of the matchup between the
LA Dodgers and the St Louis Cardinals. The teams
themselves are very evenly matched so this series was
heavily dependent on the pitching matchups. The first
game gave LA a handy advantage, with Clayton Kershaw
on the mound. Kershaw, who had an ERA of 1.77 and
a record of 21-3, was borderline unbeatable at Dodger
Stadium and gave the Dodgers a big favourites tag, yet
the Cardinals’ bats fired and they left the first game with
a 1-0 lead.
If you’ve ever wanted to get into baseball, now would be
a perfect time to start watching. Unhittable pitchers are
giving up 5+ runs per game, teams full of contact hitters
are crushing the long-ball and defensive plays are winning
games. Upsets happen on a regular occasion, and
this year, even the rank outsiders are a chance of making
the World Series.
SPORTS TO TRY
OVER SUMMER
SPORTS GUY
—
Why try a sport over summer? Because the sun shines
and you should be outside, that’s why. Not to mention
the enjoyment factor and that sports are just the best.
Here are some sports worth having a go at.
Golf: No, golf is not just a sport for retired old men. It’s
actually one of the best sports there is to make the most
of the sunshine. There’s nothing better than gathering a
few mates, getting a couple of beers and going out for
a round. Even if you aren’t good at golf, it’s still a super
enjoyable outing if you’re with the right people. The exercise
you get from it is good too, walking around for 3
hours and swinging the club a number of times per hole.
Tennis: Tennis is a hella good activity if you want to work
up a sweat because it involves a bunch of running and
smashing a ball across the court. You can work on your
tan during a game of tennis, as, unlike on the golf course,
there’s no real dress code – just be sure to wear shoes.
Beach Volleyball: This one requires a bit of set up, but
once you’ve got the net up you can spend the entire day
at the beach going from sunbathing to playing volleyball
to swimming and repeat. It’s a good fun game that can
become a drinking game if you’re creative enough and
want to get a summer time drink on.
Whatever you do, don’t sit on your ass inside the house
over summer. Get out and enjoy the weather in one way
or another.
PHOTOGRAPH: ASHLEIGH MATTHEWS
9

nexus magazine
RIDICULIST
Summer Edition
VOX POPS
Vox populi is a Latin phrase that literally means voice of the people.
1
Tan Lines
Halter top? Singlet? Crochet beach-bum shirt?
Indecisive tan lines.
2
Work
You can’t work in this weather!
3
Lack of Funds
So many festivals, so little cash.
4
Traffic
Only cool people should come to the beach. Those
Jafas should stop causing trouble for us Waicats.
5
Body-shaming
You know how you get a bikini body? Put a
bikini on your body! Now you have a bikini body.
#fuckbodyshaming
6
Broken Jandals
I don’t care what you say- that bread tag isn’t going to
work for more than 30 seconds.
7
Sweaty Asses
Is there anything worse than peeling yourself off a
seat? Yes. Looking at the puddle you leave behind.
Sammie, Law.
What are you doing this summer? Working and summer school. One
of your favourite summer memories? I think my best New Years was
at the casino... I'm that person who always ends up looking after all
the really drunk people otherwise! Is cheating ever okay? No.
Scott, Political Science.
What are you doing this summer? Work work work work - I'm saving
for an OE. One of your favourite summer memories? Probably
camping with the family. Is cheating ever okay? No. I can't think of a
reason where it would be.
Zeta, Media and Creative Tech.
What are you doing this summer? Working. It's so sad. One of your
favourite summer memories? The last Big Day Out, the line up was
really good. Is cheating ever okay? No. It's not okay.
Jim, Management.
What are you doing this summer? Working. Maybe R&V. One of your
favourite summer memories? Alcohol poisoning first night at R&V. Is
cheating ever okay? I dunno... I think it could be justified.
Amy, STA.
What are you doing this summer? I have 3 options: Queenstown,
Northern Base, or Whitianga. One of your favourite summer memories?
Driving round Spain in a van for a month. Is cheating ever okay?
It's not okay.
8
Sunburnt Toes
The worst body part to have sunburnt, followed closely
by the backs of the knees, the nipples and the scalp.
Anna, STA.
What are you doing this summer? Going to Bali next month if that
counts?! One of your favourite summer memories? Vegas last summer.
I got married up there so it was pretty cool. Is cheating ever
okay? No.
10 nexusmag.co.nz

nexus magazine
Gone Girl
FILM REVIEW BY DR RICHARD SWAINSON
Dracula Untold
FILM REVIEW BY DARCIE
Ben Affleck is a bloody awful actor. It takes a really bottom-of-thebarrel
screenplay to demonstrate just quite how awful. Gone Girl
delivers this in spades, exposing Affleck's expressive shortcomings
for an interminable two and a half hours. Playing Nick Dunne, a nonetoo-bright
bar owner suspected of killing his missing wife, Affleck
engenders not an iota of audience sympathy. As Dunne's behaviour
declines so too does the calibre of the acting, Ben's one-note smugness
proving inadequate even by the low standards of melodrama.
For all that a more essential problem is the miscasting of the British
actress Rosamund Pike. The role of Mrs Dunne, a classic femme
fatale, would have been perfect for Bette Davis or Joan Crawford
in their prime and could well have been played by Ashley Judd ten
years ago. Pike tries hard but is just too genteel and the ludicrous plot
twists do her no favours.
An old fashioned film noir spiced up with a particularly brutal killing,
in-your-face sex scenes and some dialogue that sounds like it's come
out of a cheap porno novel, Gone Girl is something of a career nadir
for the once cutting-edge director David Fincher. Earlier Fincher thrillers
have held their length impressively but here the pacing is well off,
especially in the third act. The last ten to fifteen minutes add nothing
whatsoever either to character development or the story line. Script
writer Gillian Flynn, adapting her own novel, is clearly new to the
medium and drags everyone else down with her.
Dracula Untold is the most recent attempt to bring a vampire movie
to the big screens. But there’s none of that twilight vampire shit,
this is the ‘traditional vampire’. The story centres Vlad Tepes, or Vlad
the Impaler, who is apparently the inspiration behind Bram Stokers
Dracula. In the movie, Vlad is faced with a threat to his people,
including his family, so he takes a risk by seeking help from a cursed
supernatural being – a vampire. Although what Vlad is offered is power
beyond his belief, there is also a potentially worse consequence
should he fail to control himself.
I really liked Luke Evans in this part; I think he became the character
well. It was also cool seeing Charles Dance (Tywin Lannister) being
his awesome self, he was both fascinating and disturbing as the original
vampire. I liked all the other actors as well, whether minors or
mains, I liked their characters.
The story itself was good and it progressed fairly nicely. This movie
was quite visually impressive; the special effects were well done,
the colouring throughout the movie was fitting to the context and
they had particular shots with quite spectacular backgrounds. It was
definitely appealing. The only thing I was confused about throughout
the movie was how a single being can turn into a dozen or so bats,
but it looked cool, so who really cares! A good movie if you are into
those dark action types that are hauntingly fascinating.
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Hip Flask 2
ALBUM REVIEW BY HP
Ant Wars
ALBUM REVIEW BY HP
Movies and music are different. Oh and yes, that IS me being insightful.
The reason I wished to bring this to your attention is that sequels
to films normally underperform the original, i.e., they suck. But
here, in little old Aotearoa, Tenor Saxophonist Roger Mannins has
put together his second jazz master class under his quintet banner,
Hipflask and showing HIS level of insightfulness has named it, 2. As
a sequel to the 2001 recorded, 2005 released Hipflask 1, this album
shows growth, depth and although there is no liquid-metal terminator
in this sequel, the fluidity of this jazz has the T-1000 as a suitable
metaphor.
Opening with the elegantly smooth, Droop Blues, Mannins is
searching and seeking on his sax being supported by splashing
drums and buoyant bass. The song’s eight or so minutes manage to
make extended rests and rhythmic breaks flow. It sets up the gentler
Shallow Steve with Stu Hunter traversing the Hammond C3 Organ
with great speed. Not to be outdone, Pianist Adam Ponting’s spry
fingers add electricity and life to the album.
The quintet holds up pillars of togetherness that allow the kind of
structure for each one of them to stroll into their own. On tracks like
Revolution, that structure also plays out as the theme for the tune,
other numbers; it feels more like collecting enough strands to weave,
only for each end to be frayed and unique. But with Mannins at the
helm and cohesion across the tracks, this stands out as an exciting
and polished performance.
Tauranga Music Sux. That’s not a reflection on the musicians in
Tauranga, it is simply the name of the collective of young bands
playing heavy guitars, drinking their DIY efforts and smashing out
ridiculously good songs. And Tauranga (well Mount Maunganui if you
want to get specific) rock band Ant Wars is no exception. Their Demo/
EP is a firecracker of menace and choruses and can be downloaded
from their bandcamp page for all of about $7.
Opening track, Sunshine, shows off big chunky rhythms courtesy of
dual guitars and, unsurprisingly, a pumping rhythm section. Vocalist
Kaine Harkins belts across the low-fi production and with the catchy
hooks of songs like Piece of Cake, it’s hard not to (badly) belt along
with him. Lead guitarist, Aaron Cutforth, fills the sound out with spiralling
guitar leads. This adds intricate layering over the grunt of this
rock machine.
It’s a shame the production quality is pretty poor here and drums
sound like they’ve been recorded down the road from the rest of the
band, because it will put some off. It shouldn’t. These six songs serve
as a short sampling of the sort of sound and strength these lads can
deliver live. With clear songwriting skills, it will be exciting to see this
band delve into new sonics and changes in tone while retaining their
big choruses. Check them out next time they head over the hill , hear
the songs fill out on stage and don’t believe them when they tell you
Tauranga Music Sux.
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nexus magazine
Bogan: An Insider’s
Guide to Metal,
Mullets and Mayhem
FTL: Faster
Than Light
GAME REVIEW BY KARL GUETHERT
BOOK REVIEW BY DR DAVE SNELL
It’s common when you get into post grad study, that people feign
interest when you talk about it, while not understanding (or giving
a shit) about a word. Dr Bogan has transcended this problem neatly
with his book. While it’s full of the things he learned researching his
doctorate, it’s in no way dry or boring. I could be biased here, as
some would argue I have a few bogan tendencies, but I think the book
appeals to a much larger audience than found at a bogan house party.
The thing I love most about this book is the interviews. While some
generalisations are made about what exactly a bogan is (love of hard
rock, heavy metal, and matte black cars), the wide variety of people
interviewed demonstrates that the term bogan is actually pretty fluid.
The characters in Bogan (and they are definitely characters) make for
some laugh out loud moments. I loved seeing people who helped
shape my first years at university feature- especially Uncle Chopper
who, on more than one occasion, protected us boganettes from the
more undesirable humans occasionally found in town on a Thursday,
Friday, Saturday… or Wednesday night.
Bogan is an easy read and it captures the laid-back nature of kiwi
speech. It’s obviously written by someone who knows their shit, but
hasn’t lost their sense of humour- which I think pretty much describes
bogans in general. Two metal horns all the way up \m/ \m/
A sci-fi spaceship based computer game funded through Kickstarter
– that’s got to be terrible, right? Well, maybe not. It’s got fairly oldschool
looking graphics, sure, but that adds to the charm of the game
in my view. Just like old-school games there’s a really hard end boss.
The likelihood of winning this game is pretty low, somewhere around
10% or so. Don’t let that stop you, since the point of it is to keep
trying. And trying. And trying.
Unlocking stronger ships means both increased odds for survival,
and greater variation on gameplay. Unfortunately, some of the methods
for unlocking the ships rely on the game’s random generations
of the different sectors to be in your favour, otherwise you’ll need
to keep playing again. Which, as said, isn’t so bad since the game is
pretty fun. You’ll have all manner of weapons at your disposal, from
lasers to missiles to teleporters that you can use to assault enemy
ships. One of the key strategies in defending against a boarding party
is to cram your crew into the Med Bay and open all the airlocks…
As you progress from sector to sector, the enemies get harder, but
there are plenty of chances for collecting stronger weapons and ship’s
subsystems (cloaking devices for example) plus you get to make all
the philosophical decisions you could hope for (will you send your
crew to fight the gigantic alien spiders? What if someone dies? Will
you be rewarded?). It’s almost like being a real captain!
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PHOTOGRAPH: DINOSAUR TOAST
HØNEST MATT MEETS CHESHIRE GRIMM
Honest Matt Matt Hicks
Matt Hicks has a chat to Lora Thompson and Kat Waswo from exciting
Hamilton alt rockers Cheshire Grimm (who have been very busy of late
having just completed a North Island tour and also about to release
their debut video for the single ‘ROT’).
So tell us how you guys first meet and got to this stage of making
music together? Lora Thompson: Kat & I were introduced through mutual
friends. I was in between bands and she played some of her songs at a party
one night and I was blown away by her amazing voice and bass playing, so
I decided to hit her up. Dan is her brother-in-law, and she suggested him
as our drummer. We had a couple of jams & it came together quite easily
from there.
Kat Waswo: Hamilton is small (…. and crusty). Lora and I met through
my flat mates at the time, and Dan is the partner of my younger sister. So
he’s like my crusty little brother. It all just randomly came together after Lora
forced me to play something on her guitar at a party. I only knew how to play
my original songs via bass line. It was shoddy. But she liked them. And Dan
was band-less at the time – and is an amazing musician, so he was keen to
jump into the project when I put it to him and I was stoked!
What artist’s/bands/things inspire/influence the members of
Cheshire Grimm? Lora Thompson: Alice in Wonderland, NiN, Queens of the
Stone Age, Pink Floyd, Alice in Chains, there are so many more I can’t think
of . . . we recently covered Royal Blood’s ‘Little Monster’, loving that jam.
Kat Waswo: Song-writing wise, I am most inspired when I’m emotionally
captivated by something. And for the most part – it’s usually a negative
emotion. I consider myself a fairly positive person by nature, but it’s the
beauty in melancholy that I think most artists want to try and capture. I’m
also a big fan of simplicity, and I love the challenge of trying to construct a
song that has a powerful message but is not too ranty.
Kat Waswo: The music industry here is sparse and fickle – it takes A LOT of
hard work and stroke of good-luck to make your “big break”. Also, we don’t
fit into any of the genre boxes so it’s hard for us to find compatible sounding
bands to gig with.
What do you think of the current state of the Hamilton music scene?
Lora Thompson: Hamilton has always been a town for covers bands. I really
appreciate & admire how far our good friends Devilskin have gone to put
Hamilton on the map – there is so much unrecognized original talent here. If
only more venues would actually support it.
Kat Waswo: What Hamilton music scene? It has died off like a parasite
that’s been sprayed by the John Lawrenson Machine. We are now limited
to two live venue bars that don’t charge for gigs, otherwise its pretty much
“only cover bands allowed” or pay $300 per gig. There’s a giant creative community
of talented musicians in this city, but the sub-cultures of the nightlife
don’t go out anymore. So there’s no potential audience (mainstream kids
just go straight to the DJ bars), and there’s nowhere for them to play. We
need to start fresh.
More at sounzgood.co.nz
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nexus magazine
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
“Yeah nah” be your mantra, “Yeah nah” be your downfall. If you can’t
commit to one or the other perhaps you should piss off. Or carry on flipflopping
and watch the years curl up and burn as you never get anywhere
half decent. Maybe move to the UK. Yeah nah.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)
Don’t fuck with me Capricorn, I’m 9 horoscopes deep and my usual pleasant
good will is waning. Just in general, people have been complaining
about your complaining lately, so unless you’re showing some gumption
sometime soon just zip it and learn to go with the flow. Peace, love, and
forced positivity.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
Fly free young one, there is no need for you to linger. Take only the necessities
and hop on that bus out of this nowhere town. Be finance savvy
though, if you have to do the walk of shame all the way back to Hamilton
your parents lose their neighbourhood boasting rights.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You were a bitch at the beginning of the year, and you’re still a bitch now.
The only thing left to do is frame someone for an imaginary crime, dye
your hair a mousey brown, wear glasses, and live in a caravan park… ooh
should this horoscope have come with a spoiler alert?
R&V Playlist
BEATS BY J
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Every week I’ve wanted to paste the lyrics to Katy Perry’s Roar in place of your
horoscope little Leos, but I have withheld. In the same vein, you should exercise
utmost restraint this week; some of the wonderful things you are passionate
about are to others mere bubble-gum pop.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
What does being a Virgo mean? This week it means that you are a slut.
What does being a slut mean? Nothing. As human beings living in the
free world of the 21 st century, who you screw is your business and your
business only. So yeah, have a banging week.
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Stay classy, Libra. If we’ve learnt anything in 2014, it’s that in times of
stress and fatigue you know how to prioritise your physical appearance
above all else. Some may see this as a weakness, but we both know it’s
a CV worthy strength – fake it till you make it, bitches.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Full steam ahead! Summer is approaching like a midnight train of terror.
It’s time to lock down those holiday jobs and throw every spare penny into
your “future beach house” fund. At this rate you’ll be in good stead come
2050! At which point you could have been dead for years. Yay summer!
Grown Up
Danny Brown / Grown Up
Love Has Gone
Netsky / 2 Deluxe
XXX 88
MØ / Diplo / No Mythologies to Follow
Talk Is Cheap
Chet Faker / Built On Glass
Bueller
Etc! Etc! / Brillz / Diplo
Ride
PNC / P.Digsss / The Codes
Birth Control
Mr. Carmack / Jeffree's Vol. 8
Monarch
Shapeshifter / Delta
HOROSCOPES
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Don’t sweat the small stuff. Pick up your pencil case, get out your pens,
and get down to work. Things have a habit of working out in the end. They
either work out good, or they work out bad…but regardless this problem
will be replaced by another soon enough.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Boy Taurus, you sure are seeing Red. It's clear you’ve had it with this bull.
If someone wants to argue with you on this point, just show him or her
your horns. It’s your last horoscope of the year and I made sure it was the
most painful… and unforget-a-bull.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Planning to leave the past behind and move on for good? Finally! Please
note; moving on comes from forgiveness and peace within, not a one-way
ticket to London because it’s the furthest you can physically get. Also, the
UK visa is a cop out for boring people who don’t know what they want.
#truth
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Do you ever worry that nobody likes you? Tolerance. Tolerance is the word
people use when they speak of you. How does that make you feel? Maybe
you should’ve offered that last piece of cake to the room before scoffing
it the same way you move through life; tastelessly.
Strictly 4 My Jeeps
Action Bronson / SAAAB Stories
Higher
Just Blaze / Baauer / JAY Z
Of The Night
Bastille / All This Bad Blood
High
Peking Duk / Nicole Millar
Footcrab
Addison / DJ-KiCKS
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15

nexus magazine
2014: A RETROSPECTIVE
Auteur Dr Richard Swainson
2014 saw the last of a distressing amount of movie stars. With the
deaths of Mickey Rooney, Shirley Temple and Joan Fontaine the world lost
some of the few remaining links to the 1930s golden age of Hollywood.
The demise of Lauren Bacall ended a career which dated back to 1944, one
forever associated with that of the actress' iconic first husband, Humphrey
Bogart. 1950s cinema lost James Garner and Eli Wallach whilst the African
American community mourned the passing of ground breaking actresses
Ruby Dee and Juanita Moore. British cinema lost its godfather when actor,
producer and director Richard Attenborough died in August. For tragedy
though nothing could top three premature fatalities: Bob Hoskins, Philip
Seymour Hoffman and Robin Williams.
The longest known movie career, that of Carla Laemmle, niece of Universal
studio founder Carl Laemmle, concluded with remarkably little fanfare in
June. Carla made her debut in the 1925 version of The Phantom of the Opera
and featured in two 2014 features. With Mickey Rooney's and Laemmle's
deaths there are only 13 known acting survivors of the silent era. Of equal
trainspotting significance was the loss of Wizard of Oz munchkin Ruth
Robinson Duccini. Only one of those little people are now still with us:
Lollipop Guild member Jerry Maren.
The tone of the Auteur House column has in many ways been set by all
this bad news. Cynics might suggest that the seemingly endless obituaries
reflected the slow death of the DVD rental industry itself. We are not
getting any busier and the preferred mode of cinema delivery has become
the download, legal or otherwise.
If our future is uncertain, the art form which we celebrate is in good health.
I sense that 2014 will be remembered most for one truly outstanding film
whose production process was unique. Boyhood was shot in only 45 days
but that shoot was spread over 12 years. Less stunt than revelation, the
result is a coming of age tale like no other, with actors aging at the same
rate as the characters they are playing.
Other cinematic gems were enjoyed in the International Film Festival. For
those who can stand slowish pace, rich characterisation and dense dialogue
the Turkish epic Winter Sleep, the tale of a wealthy former actor's mid-life
crisis, was an intellectual delight. Less serious was the Festival's closing
night feature, the hilarious Argentinian black comedy Wild Tales, a series of
short episodes on the theme of revenge.
Contemporary auteurs Wes Anderson, Darren Aronofsky and John Michael
McDonagh also delivered in 2014. The Grand Budapest Hotel is my favourite
film of the year so far, yet another stylistic triumph for Anderson, whilst
Aronofsky's Noah and McDonagh's Calvary were powerful religious polemics
that posed serious questions. Let us not forget either how excellent the
year has been on the home front: with What We Do in the Shadows, The
Dark Horse and Housebound the future of the New Zealand film industry
looks bright.
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WHY DID YOU FUCK ME AND LEAVE???
Arts & Stuff Peter Dornauf
I’m instinctively drawn to 1950’s visuals and illustrations. Janet
and John readers and all that stuff. Love them.
It’s Oedipal, I think; wanting to return to the womb and some prenatal
foetal position. Freud would have a field day. The forms have a charming
retro look and the colours possess those washed out reds and
yellows that speak to an age that seemed more safe, sheltered and
somehow more secure. It’s all very primal and wanting to go back to
the Garden of Eden or life on the farm.
The reason I bring this up is that a kindly friend recently sent me a
web link that fused my two favourite things – Fifties aesthetics and
We Go to the Gallery. It’s identical in every stylistic way to the original
format, right down to the graphics, the only difference being the narrative.
It’s obviously for adult consumption, but even one or two adults
might blanch at the content. Example. The first story has Mummy and
Peter in the gallery, standing in front of a big canvas on which is painted
a very large vagina. The text reads: Peter sees the big vagina. “That’s a
big vagina,” says Peter. “Big vaginas are feminist,” says Mummy. Peter
is scared.
This is obviously satirizing all those artist sisters from the Eighties and
Nineties, people like Sarah Lucas, who went on about the male gaze,
“...REPLACING THE LADYBIRD LOGO WITH THAT OF A DUNG BEETLE, THEN WAITED FOR THE UK TO CHANGE
THE COPYRIGHT LAWS TO INTRODUCE A FAIR DEALING EXCEPTION FOR SATIRE AND PARODY.”
contemporary art; or more precisely, some clever intellectualizing
observations about postmodern art in a satirical laugh out loud format.
It picks up on some current obsessions that the art fraternity are
engaged with and mercilessly takes the piss. You sort of need to know
a bit of art history to get the joke, but first a little backstory.
Miriam Elia is a young London artist who trained at the Royal College
of Art. She’s also a comedian. It’s a rare but wonderful combination.
Not too long ago she created a spoof version of the Ladybird books,
those small but perfectly formed British children’s readers we all came
to love and adore. The Fifties version portrays the daily lives of Mummy,
Peter and Jane whose banal stories served as an introduction to reading
and writing.
Miriam has rewritten and re-illustrated her version which is called
attempting to subvert it in quite a crude fashion. I won’t go into details.
The people at Penguin were not amused. Certain feathers were
ruffled and writs were issued that saw Miriam Elia charged with breach
of copyright and threatened with the seizure of her books for pulping.
Not to be outdone, the plucky artist reissued the book, replacing
the Ladybird logo with that of a dung beetle, then waited for the UK
to change the copyright laws to introduce a fair dealing exception for
satire and parody.
Other narratives in the story deal with deep existential questions -
the death of God and the death of meaning, beloved of Nietzsche and
Derrida, with a supporting cast of artists including Tracey Emin, Jeff
Koons and others.
Clever in every way.
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nexus magazine
Oh The Drugs You’ll Take
JAMES RAFFAN
With the Big Day Out once again disappearing into the ether the 14/15
Summer will be an interesting one for big concerts. In many ways
Rhythm and Vines seems the obvious and certainly the most promoted
of the big gigs but Festivals are about individual choices and each
concert has some pros and cons so we thought we would devote some
pages to helping you make the only real decision of your summer.
Are Festivals For You?
The first question you have to ask yourself is are you
even the “Summer Festival” type? There is a pretty
simple checklist:
Do you like live music?
Do you have friends that like live music?
Do you take an excessive amount of drugs and have
conversations with random strangers?
If the answer to two or more of these questions is yes
at a music festival then make sure you choose wisely.
A week at the wrong place, with the wrong music and
it will seem like an eternity. So pack up the glow sticks,
air out the tent and wash out the bong. An epic summer
concert awaits...
Rhythm & Vines / Alps 29-31 st December
R&V is the big name on the summer festival scene and
it is hardly a surprise. Acts like Chet Faker, Flume and
Bastille join BBC Radio One’s Kiwi DJ Zane Lowe and
“YOU NEVER WANT TO BE BUYING FROM A DEALER AT A FESTIVAL... UNLESS IT’S
PARACHUTE, THOSE GUYS ARE THE MOST HONEST DRUG DEALERS YOU WILL MEET.”
then odds are you are probably perfect for the summer
music scene. There is no shame in the alternative
though. Some of the best summers have been spent
laying by a beach doing nothing or going on a big OE. In
fact some of us have plans to spend most of our summer
locked in a dimly lit apartment drinking V Gnarly
and getting beaten at the new Call of Duty by a bunch
of pre-teen prodigies from some developing country
on X-Box One. At the end of the day summer is yours
to de-stress and unwind before you come back for
another year. However you choose to do that is up to
you but if you do decide to spend a few days in a tent
local act Shapeshifter as headliners. For a cool $395
you can pick up tickets to R&V and BW which sounds
like a lot. For those of you that fancy New Years in
Gisborne then be smart about it. Go with a few friends,
don’t over do it and make sure you hydrate. It’s R&V so
make sure if you are taking drugs and drinking you are
bringing your own. You never want to be buying from a
dealer at a festival... unless it’s Parachute, those guys
are the most honest drug dealers you will meet.
Homegrown 7 th March
For those of you who like your music and drugs to give
you that extra added sense of patriotism you should
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check out Homegrown. It’s literally the last stop on
the Summer Festival calendar but that could be a positive
as it gives your wallet and your liver some much
needed recovery time. New Zealand Icons like Shihad,
Six60 and Conchord Dawn headline an all NZ Festival
featuring extremely talented musicians and David
Dallas. Where R&V is starting to become a yearly pilgrimage
for some students, Homegrown is more of a
rite of passage. Something you do once and then tell
people about for the next ten years. For a very reasonable
$109 it is well worth doing though. Even if you are
just going to see Hamilton’s own Devilskin because
you know someone who knows someone who met
Jennie once so you are sure she will know you.
Raggamuffin 13 th December
If you have $129 and are old or stoned enough to
remember UB40, Cypress Hill or when Ice Cube
wasn’t an actor then this is probably the gig for you.
for it in your travel hamper.
Northern Bass 30-31 st December
If you like your music with bass and your festivals with
glowsticks then Northern Bass is probably the place
for you this summer. Northern Bass is in Mangawhai
which is far enough north of the Auckland that you don’t
have to pay so much for hard drugs but not so far that
you have to smoke them out of a lightbulb. At $159 for
two days (not including the camping fees) it represents
the best value. For those who are into the scene there
is a lot to get excited about. In fact there is enough
to choose Northern Bass over R&V because both are
on over New Years. Personally though, Northern Bass
won’t be about Goldie or Noisa, it won’t even be about
the impressive locals like CTFD, Diaz Grimm or (friends
of Nexus) The Knights of The Dub Table. The one reason
that trumps all others to attend Northern Bass will be
the appearance of the Wu-Tang Clan’s GhostFace Killah.
“IF THAT SOUNDS LIKE YOU THEN THE PRETENTIOUS ACOUSTIC FEST KNOWN AS
LANEWAY IS PERFECT FOR YOU. YOU KNOW YOU’RE IN A LITTLE BIT OF TROUBLE AS
A FESTIVAL WHEN YOUR BIG DRAW CARD IS A BELLE AND SEBASTIAN REUNION.”
The Trusts Arena is a nice enough venue and supporting
acts like Katchafire, House of Shem and Sons of Zion
are guaranteed to make it a chill as fuck day out. Sure
you might be sitting next to some 55 year old lawyer
from North Shore who is pretending to be Jamaican
but who cares, it’s all about one love.
Laneway 26 th January
Do you like obscure bands that most of your friends
haven’t heard of? Are you patient enough to wait for
two to five years for those bands to achieve any commercial
success so that you can tell your friends you
saw them in 2015? If that sounds like you then the
pretentious acoustic fest known as Laneway is perfect
for you. You know you’re in a little bit of trouble as a festival
when your big draw card is a Belle and Sebastian
reunion. What happened Laneway, you were cool last
year? At $144 it seems a little pricy for what it offers,
then again if you’re the type of person who would go
to Laneway then odds are you can pay for it out of your
trust fund and find the perfect wine and cheese pairing
I hear he ain’t nothin’ to fuck with.
Summary
This year more than any other the music festival scene
highlights the diversity and growing popularity of sub
genre’s in New Zealand. It really doesn’t matter where
you choose to go, what matters is that you stay safe.
Travel with friends and have an epic time but come
back next year. We will have a whole new magazine
planned by then and you can write us lettuce about
how wasted you got on your summer vacation and the
cool shit you listened to. Enjoy your summer.
20 nexusmag.co.nz

nexus magazine
LEAGUE 1
ENTRIES CLOSE 23 OCT
TOUCH RUGBY
six-a-side soccer
facebook.com/playsocialsport
21

PHOTOGRAPH: BROOK JAMES

nexus magazine
Up Your Away-Game:
How to Pack for Summer
BRITTANY ROSE
Sometimes life throws you lemons and you make lemonade, other times
life throws you lemons and you end up in a g-string questioning your
life choices. The secret to an excellent vacation isn’t just dressing for
success, it’s packing for it.
I’ve never really managed to have a decent New
Years. Being the proverbial broke student (or working
in retail) has meant that most of my summers have
sucked ass. Don’t get me wrong, I love summer.
What’s not to love about printed dresses, never wearing
pants, ditching your bra for a bikini and strappy
wedges? But, since I turned 16 I’ve only had a sprinkling
of proper NYE parties- all of which have been a
nightmare to prep for. So here is my advice on what
to actually think about when you pack for your summer
away.
Always pack the day before you go away. And
remember: togs, towel, toothbrush. When I was still
at High School my friends and I decided to head to
Whangamata for NYE. Unfortunately, in my haste to
chuck stuff in a bag after work I forgot my bikini. I drunk
three bottles of Aquila and had a very messy night. The
cherry on top of the shit-muffin that was 2009 was
being ridiculed by my friends for looking like an oceanslut
in my red g-string and lace bra. Moral of the story:
a) Don’t hang out with straight male gamers, and b)
avoid sand in your box by packing a change of bikini
bottoms.
Pack for climate, not context. In 2011/12, I decided
that I really didn’t want to spend my summer in a mall
with artificial lighting. We went down to stay with
friends in Gissy and spent NYE in their basement coz
it was raining. This was the year that there was a flood
in some gorge and the bridge by Opotiki was fucked
– or something— and we had to drive back along the
coast which took forever. The point is: it was miserable
weather and people were under-dressed everywhere.
In line at the liquor store were dudes with goosebumped,
gym-buffed arms sticking out of singlets
and girls in denim cut-offs and plastic ponchos (no
hate, rock those ass-cheeks grrrl). Moral of the story:
a) check the weather forecast, and b) pack a denim
jacket, rock warmth and be babe’n in a double-denim
ensemble.
Don’t over-pack. NYE 2012/13 I decided to scrap my
$14.50 p/h 2IC position and max my credit card out on
R&V and BW tickets. Then, my cousin and I bought:
a tent, a yellow sun-umbrella, a blue sun-umbrella,
solar lights, a magenta bbq chair, a teal bbq chair, and
airbeds. Gigantic waste of money. The solar lights got
smashed, our tent got belly-flopped on, my chair got
nicked, the umbrellas were never used, someone
broke the airbed pump and my shit-head brother let
the air out of my mattress on the first night. I did manage
to make out with a cute boy with long hair, climb
scaffolding and draw vivid-vaginas all over R&V property
though.
Moral of the story: a) don’t camp at BW (unless you
don’t mind a guy dressed as Batman burning tents and
being apprehended by event security “chhk...we have
the Batman. Over...chhk”), and b) don’t take anything
you like to R&V, it will get more fucked up than you by
the third night of heavy drinking.
23

Quotes of
the Year
Guess the contributor! Most answers right wins tickets for you and four
mates to go to the movies! (Tee ‘Give a Shit’ Ship, Alix ‘LA & Cash Hacks’
Higby, Jules ‘Carnage’ Craft, Carl ‘Feature Writer’ Unternahrer, Aunty
Slut, Horoscopes, Blind Date, Rachael ‘Editor’ Elliott and Jessica ‘Fashion’
Wilson are all possibilities. Find the wild cards: Louise ‘Worldly’ Hutt, Mark
‘Executioner’ Savage and Mike ‘Awesome Dead People’ Bilodeau.
PHOTOGRAPH: ANDRE KONG

nexus magazine
Loving yourself is one of the hardest things we do as
humans. Making love to yourself is cool too provided
you stop doing it in those toilets next to Momento.
People are starting to notice the grunting.
I am 100% in support of the deport Bieber from the
United States campaign, not because I live there, but
because I like the idea of inconveniencing the spoilt
little bastard.
It’s a fortunate week to formulate creative ideas and
set goals. This is made slightly more ironic when you
realise we stole this horoscope from a daily newspaper.
If you want to pull a hot chick, treat her like she’s a
person, not a thing for you to stick your dick into.
I had every TV and movie portrayal of a blind date
going through my head from long awkward silences
to creepy serial killers. But just about any horrible scenario
was a lot safer than trying to choke down more
of my own cooking, so I was all for it.
My time spent studying Philosophy, English Literature
and Creative Writing may not have taught me any
practical skills that I can apply to a workplace environment,
but it has taught me the next best thing: how
to be poor.
Shoving your cock at someone who hasn’t consented
to see it is rude, vaguely threatening and deeply
unsexy. A dick pic is not flirting. If that’s what you’re
using them for- stop doing it.
Studylink, I hate you. But I can’t live without you. Thus
my life becomes a bad soap Opera- except Studylink
never says sorry for being an asshole, or buys me flowers.
I’m going to put that in the suggestion box next
time I go see them. If I can figure out where their office
is. If they even have one.
10/10 would bang this beautiful lady. 7 tattoos, unidentifiable
ethnicity, and a leather jacket. It was like the
ingredients to a porno where I get taken down by a
female member of a biker gang.
Eager returning director and part time water dwelling
mammal Daniel Farrell got the meeting off to a swift
start passing two motions. Unfortunately like 90% of
the board I fail to listen when he speaks but for the purpose
of providing a complete run down let’s assume
the first was to build a golden calf on the green and
the second was a decree that everyone must listen to
student radio at all times.
This week you are reaching the unenviable conclusion
that your flatmates like your cat more than you. Maybe
you should adopt more of its mannerisms. Start by
sitting in a corner of their room and then lie on their
bed naked licking yourself while always maintaining a
creepy level of eye contact. That’ll teach them.
By dessert I already had him whipped and ordering
what I told him to.
The vagina is not some sexual fountain, open and pouring
juices at all times in case a penis happens by.
Sometimes history brings you a man who chooses to
stand in front of father time only to slap him in his
big, beardy face with a large, smelly, unwashed penis.
Ladies and Gentleman, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle was
that man.
I may be an out there girl, but I’m not one to throw
blowjobs out willie-nillie.
El laaaay, mate. It’s grand. I see squirrels every day.
Obviously St Paddys is a planned date so perhaps
spontaneous might not seem the right word but you’re
forgetting the fact that students don’t even know what
day it is, so every year St Paddys sneaks up on us and
leads us down a dark lane of debauchery.
I may be a pretentious asshole, but I’m also a kind
asshole, who loves you, and wants you to wear tailored
sweatpants that show off your cute bum.
I’m pretty kinky, but most porn is so proudly misogynistic
that I just can’t go there. I actually sat down once
to hunt out something that I liked but the titles were
enough to make my flesh crawl- “Rapers of the Lost
Arse” (sex without consent= rape. Rape= not funny,
fun or nice in any way whatsoever), “Your Quim is My
Gym” (reduces women to things to be played with by
some guy) and my personal favourite “Horny Slut Gets
a Gang Bang and a Cum Filled Arse”. That’s just dripping
in love and trust and pleasure for both parties isn’t it?”
The drinks were flowing until the tab ran out then
back for what seemed like a prostitute's gobby, soon
followed by my fair share of cardio. I keep trying to
remember how many Rieslings were had because I
swear I went to bed with a completely different girl to
the one I woke up with?
If you’re only being nice to a girl because you want
to get in her pants, you’re not a nice guy. You’re an
entitled douche bag.
This week’s sexual position is the “Norovirus” it’s
where you work your way through Student Village
and Bryant Hall leaving a path of carnage, destruction
and the occasional uncontrollable bowel movement in
your wake.
Venus is all up in mercury this week, allegedly over
something racist mercury said about Saturns need for
rims and lack of child support payments to its moons.
Drama, conflict and more this week on Geordie Galaxy.
A recent study found that objectification, sexual harassment
and abuse are considered just a part of life by
young women and what the actual FUCK?
If Coachella were a person, it would be hungover on
Tuesdays and unable to control its bodily fluids at parties.
Interestingly, these attributes fit the vast majority
of people who attended Coachella this year.
There are few people I can tolerate at present, one
being my French friend (French = Bitch, we sit around
judging people) and the others being whoever else is
drunk on a Thursday on Frat row.
Tinder’s broken. Either it’s broken or I’m an ugly cunt.
For self-esteems sake I’m gonna say the first one.
For only a few dollars you can turn your flat into a mysterious
love shack, where the only thing more delicate
than the paper lighting is, upon contracting many
strange and wonderful new diseases, your emotional
wellbeing. Remember to buy a fire alarm.
If you don’t understand the concept of scrumpy hands
then you’re an idiot who doesn’t understand one of
the fundamental building blocks of immaturity in NZ.
Discovered we had mutual friends, one of which may
have found his way into my mouth. Rather interesting
conversation ensued.
When I told my grandmother I was going to study film
making, she asked me, with as much tact as a dead
fish, how I expected to get a job afterwards.
A job is one of those things where you give up all of
your energy, happiness and time in return for money.
First I wanted to be the best Pokemon trainer in the
world but that failed cause Pikachu’s a ratchet rat who
choose Ashe over me.
Just because you can web stalk someone all the way
back to 2008, doesn’t mean that you should. Just
because no one caught you double dipping from the
group curly fries, doesn’t mean you’re not trash.
25

nexus magazine
The Doctor is In
RACHAEL ELLIOTT
An interview with Nexus alumni and the world’s foremost boganologist.
Also we have two copies of his book to give-away so email editor@
nexusmag.co.nz and tell us why you deserve to win one.
You put NZ Bogans on the map. Whose reaction to
your PHD topic surprised you the most? Probably
local council here in Hamilton. Would’ve thought being
named the Bogan capital in New Zealand, we could’ve
had some fun with it. Instead it’s almost like it’s being
intentionally overlooked. Instead we have the Mayor
saying in the newspaper that we’re “not just a Bogan
town” almost like we’re embarrassing. They seem to
think we’re uncultured. You should never be ashamed
of who you are and you should be proud of where you
are. Accept it, embrace it. It’s much more fun that way.
If we were to send someone out Bogan spotting,
up with the next Bogan project, usually scheming with
other online Bogans.
Best rock'n'roll story? The best concert I went to
was the first one. Metallica in the mid/late nineties.
Young teenager seeing my idols at the time. Guy
climbs to the top of Mt Smart supertop and hurls, a
human sprinkler of bile that I narrowly managed to
avoid. Getting lost and hanging out with these massive
Maori bikers all passing a joint – including to me. I felt
like I was part of something much bigger, something
that I wanted to stay with the rest of my life. And here
it is, it’s gotten me a significant amount of what I have
“DRESSING ALL IN BLACK... AND HAVING A CAT WITH WHITE HAIR. THE OLD LINT
ROLLERS HAVE GIVEN UP SO I JUST STICK TO LOOKING LIKE SOME WEIRD BLACK
AND WHITE HEDGEHOG WITH ALL THE SHORT BITS OF HAIR STICKING UP...”
PHOTOGRAPH: CAM ROBINSON
what would they look for? Depends on the place. The
Bogan is usually chilling at home with some whiskeys
and mates so you’re probably not going to see them
in Hamilton on a Saturday night. At the house party
he/she is probably the one trying to take over your
stereo or yelling at you to play some Slayer. They’re
the ones dressed mostly in black – band shirt, jeans,
shoes/boots.
What's a typical day in the life of Dr Bogan like?
Pretty boring these days really. Like any other person I
get up and shit, shower…and probably skip the shaving
part. Just go to work all day, then usually at night I’m
up by the light of the laptop either writing or coming
today. Just because I love Metal and integrate it into
just about everything I do.
What do you do for a crust and why do you love/
hate it? I don’t shower for a few days for a crust. If you
mean job, I work at Wintec as a Research Co-ordinator.
I like it ‘cos I get to help researchers from all fields with
their research so I’m always learning something new
about a lot of different things. Occasionally I get time
to do my own research in work hours.
What is your favourite thing about being part of
the Bogan scene? We do tend to help each other out.
You put out the word you need XYZ for some project or
something and there’ll always be someone out there
27

nexus magazine
willing to give you a hand. There’s also a million other
Bogans trying to give their opinion, but that’s another
thing I like being about being a Bogan.
What's the worst part about it?
Dressing all in black when it’s summer – and having a
cat with white hair. The old lint rollers have given up so
I just stick to looking like some weird black and white
hedgehog with all the short bits of hair sticking up off
me from her sitting on me all the time.
How did the book come about? After my thesis
was done, Penguin approached me about turning my
doctoral thesis straight into a book. I told them it was
a piece of academic writing and most people wouldn’t
really be interested. They said to let them be the judge.
Then they came back and said that I was right and it
was ‘a bit dry’ (don’t know what they were expecting
– probably thought an academic thesis on Bogans
was going to be a few Slayer logos and some bourbon
world hunt me down online to talk Metal and Metal
studies (with the occasional invitation to speak somewhere
or be involved in a project). Being invited to a
Wintec Press Club and to have a poncy lunch with politicians,
journalists, and various media people (including
a name tag introducing me as ‘Bogan Authority’). It’s
all been awesome.
What do you think about when you're alone in
your car? Nothing (other than driving obviously), which
is the greatest thing. My mind is always going a million
miles an hour so to shut my brain off, I crank up the
stereo and listen to some good local music like Team
Kill or Gunt is a rare moment of Zen.
If NZ were to have some kind of Bogan idol, who
would you pick to judge it with you and what qualities
would you look for in contestants? It would’ve
been Ewen Gilmour (RIP) – a sad loss for Bogan kind.
Now I’d probably go with Tammy Davis who played
“BEING INVITED TO A WINTEC PRESS CLUB AND TO HAVE A PONCY LUNCH WITH
POLITICIANS, JOURNALISTS, AND VARIOUS MEDIA PEOPLE (INCLUDING A NAME TAG
INTRODUCING ME AS ‘BOGAN AUTHORITY’). IT’S ALL BEEN AWESOME.”
stains). So they made me an offer that they’d publish
it if I wrote something from scratch before Xmas (6
months) so they could release it on Fathers’ Day the
following year. Sounded stressful but I thought the idea
of giving my Dad a book on Fathers’ Day that I wrote,
that was in some way inspired by him (he got me into
ACDC…GREATEST BAND IN THE WORLD), was pretty
fucken awesome so I went for it.
Where are the Hamilton Bogans hiding now that
our favourite haunts are gone? House parties really.
Sadly certain people in Hamilton are buying all the bars
and shutting them down.
Best opportunity that came from your study?
So, so many. Actually being Dr Dave Snell. The scholarship
and the media coverage. Going to the Rock n
Rio festival in Portugal ‘cos it coincidentally was there
when I was at a conference. The book. The upcoming
documentary series. Seven Sharp (before that Mike
Hosking got his mitts on it). A Heavy Metal conference
I went to in the States. Having people from around the
Munter on Outrageous Fortune. I have no idea what
he’s like in real life but there must be at least some
Bogan in him (even if it’s buried real deep) the way
he played that character so well. You can tell when a
Bogan’s a Bogan…it’ll come out somewhere. The best
Bogan would be one who wouldn’t even have to try.
Tips for upcoming gigs that prospective Bogan
converts should hit this summer? Caveman Events
is putting on a bunch of dates for a national tour with
a bunch of great bands called Rooster’s Roadshow
that includes Team Kill, His Master’s Voice, Leave the
Dead and a whole bunch of others. In Hamilton they’re
usually at Biddy Mulligan’s or Altitude – the Roadshow
Hamilton gig is 26th October. I would join up to the
Facebook page to find out more about cool local bands
https://www.facebook.com/cavemaneventsnz . I think
a lot of people sadly don’t give New Zealand metal
bands a chance but there’s a lot of good stuff out there,
and a lot of cool people working hard to get it out there.
Best bogan advice for students? Stay Bogan \m/.
28 nexusmag.co.nz

The future is calling and the University of Waikato is answering
that call by creating innovative graduates who will lead the way.
We offer flexible postgraduate programmes designed to suit your
needs. If you are interested in gaining an edge over other graduates
and standing out in a competitive job market, you can choose from
a range of postgraduate qualifications, including Masters degrees
that can be completed in as little as one year.
At Waikato, we’re focussing on finding solutions to real world
problems. Masters student, Mahonri Owen, pictured, is working on
perfecting a brain-controlled electro-mechanical prosthetic hand,
including building and programming it from scratch.
What will you design?
Come along to our postgraduate information session to find out
how you can set yourself up for where the world is going, at the
university that is going there.
Date:
Time:
Venue:
Wednesday 15 October
1.15 – 1.45pm
S.G.01, University of Waikato
For more information and to register visit
waikato.ac.nz/study/postgrad
waikato.ac.nz

nexus magazine
SUMMER IS CUMMING
Aunty Slut
My fellow sluts,
Alas, the year is coming to an end, which means your loveable Aunty Slut
is going to skip off to the beach to find a bearded gentleman who likes
cunnilingus and unapologetically sexy, straight-talking feminists. Summer is
coming, and with any luck there will be plenty of opportunities for sunshine,
sweat and cum soaked adventures- of the consensual variety- for all.
If I can’t find the bearded gentleman of my dreams I’ll be just fine. I’ve
got my brand new 20 speed vibrator, and plenty of friends who’ll cuddle
me if I get lonely. The trick is to remember that no matter how much you
want someone in your life, you don’t need them. You’re glorious if you have
a partner or not!
Things to remember over the break:
-Sex is a good thing. Having sex isn’t any reason to be ashamed- even if
there are people who ‘assume’ the kind of sex you’re having is inappropriate.
Do what feels right for you, what you want to do and what feels good. If it
feels wrong, don’t do it- you don’t have to. My body, my choice, your body,
your choice.
-Women are people. People like sex. I know for most of you, this isn’t a
difficult idea to grasp, but for others it seems to be nigh on impossible. Next
time you see a girl out there going after her pleasure, and you feel the urge
to say something about it, ask yourself whether you’d say the same thing to
a man, and if not, shut your mouth.
-Worth is not defined by clothing or sexual choices. If you are a human being
you deserve respect. If people don’t give you respect, walk the fuck away.
-Talk to each other. The more you talk about sex, the better it will be. Even
if that conversation is about something awkward, or something you’re
embarrassed about, talk about it! You never know what will happen once
you start talking. This also helps clear up those nasty misunderstandings
around boundaries.
-Bodies are awesome. All bodies. Every glorious way you people show
up on this planet is awesome. Let’s stop the body shaming, and just love
ourselves and each other, ok?
-Feminism is not a dirty word. It’s the belief that women should have equal
rights to men. For the purposes of this column, it’s challenging widely held
beliefs like the hilarious joke that if a woman behaves the way a man would,
she’s called a slut or a bossy bitch, but he’s celebrated for being such an
awesome player or a leader. Double standards aren’t cool. Quit it.
-On that note- #freethenipple and free your mind! I’m going to be rocking
my Tata top this summer, because I think it’s bullshit that my nipples are
offensive, but some dude’s nipples- even a dude whose boobs are bigger
than mine- are not.
-Finally, while you can’t get your weekly dose of to the point feminist sex
advice in Nexus over the break, you can still submit your questions! Email
auntyslut@nexusmag.co.nz and find your answers on my blog http://auntyslut.wordpress.com/
over summer.
Be sexy, be safe, be honest, be a slut if you want to- and know that ‘slut’ is
just a social construct for people who can’t handle your gloriousness.
PHOTOGRAPH: LOUISE HUTT
30 nexusmag.co.nz

nexus magazine
SHHHTTRESSSSSSSS!
Carnage Jules Craft
PHOTOGRAPH: WILLIAM STILES
When I’m stressed I find myself over analysing every little decision. It
gets to the point where I sometimes spend five minutes in the morning
thinking how heavily a coffee is going to affect my learning in the coming
future. Will I be too energetic? Will I crash out after the energy boost? Is
sipping on this warm beverage perpetuating an addiction orientated mindset
into my future? Does this mean I’m going to be a heroin addict?
It’s that time of the year again; with exams coming up and the wick for
assignment due dates burning low I’m over-thinking everything. Is anyone
else tasting that musty flavor of self-doubt and lack of motivation? All I can
see when I try to peep into the future is myself flunking essays and not
passing the assignments I’ve worked so hard on. I’m like the shitty version
of That’s So Raven. What I’m starting to realise is that it’s my perspective
on the future that’s getting me so twisted. Instead of thinking so heavily on
every little detail and how it will somehow twist the balance of fate its better
just to live in the moment.
Stress for me builds up for two reasons: having to get things done and not
getting things done. Thinking so heavily about the first thing distracts me
from the second. By living in the moment I don’t mean you shouldn’t consider
the future I just mean it becomes counterproductive when you’re more
worried about how you’re going to do something than actually doing it. My
favourite lecturer told me that “you can do all the strategic planning you like
but the best way to learn is experimentation.” You will never want to study if
you’re constantly thinking about how little you know about your subject. Just
pick up the text book and enjoy soaking in the information. You’re definitely
not going to remember everything you read but at least you’re taking those
little baby steps that everyone always told you about.
If you genuinely focus on something for longer than 10min you’ll start
realising that time is flying by. You’ll never have enough time in the day to
do everything thoroughly. Just pick your priority and focus in on it, don’t let
yourself be put off by your enormous workload. It’s hard to educate yourself,
it can take a toll on your body and mind but remember "Man cannot remake
himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor." One of
the most rewarding feelings in the world is that moment when you sit back
and fully relax because you’ve taken care of what you needed to that day.
Keep grinding Waicats! I hope you all smash your exams and get down
and dirty with those essay questions. If at any time you feel lost or without
direction just remember this piece of advice: Don’t worry no one else has
any fucking idea what the plan is either.
31

nexus magazine
SUMMER SAVINGS
Cash Hacks Alix Higby
You there, with the highflying summer expectations! Unless
you’ve also scored yourself a highflying summer job, you’re gonna
have to lower your standards. That doesn’t mean your summer is
bound to Hamilton and it’s distinct un-summerness though! Here
are a couple of handy tips for how to make the most of the brighter
days ahead.
Car camping. This sounds rough and it is. But setting up overnight
camp in your vehicle is a pretty cost effective way to drink and not
drive when you hit an out of control beach party. If you’re feeling
just a bit adventurous in general, you can do a roadie and park up
wherever it is the road takes you. You’ll need to be thoughtful about
where you plan on leaving your car however, cos while NZ has some
wonderful freedom camping laws that make most public property
your camping ground, you can’t just stop your car wherever the hell
you want. Chucking an empty 6 pack out into the bush or beach as
you depart is also a dick move.
Friends’ family baches. This is the Waikato, land of wealthy farmers’
children. It’s safe to say someone in your group of friends, class, or
extended social group has access to a family beach house. They
won’t all be located in Pauanui, but check your social standing and
accept that for all intents and purposes, Raglan will do. Muscle up
to these people now, and do your best to brush off their ignorant
political comments and general lack of empathy until autumn comes
back around.
Outdoor dining. Say no to expensive restaurants and gourmet
takeaways of winters past: pack a picnic and get outside – the sun
will soon be out till 9pm! The best of the best outdoor summer dining
takes place on the grass next to a beach – so get scouting now
and plan your social events around a shared picnic or communal
barbeque. Salads are a summer staple too, and they are reasonably
inexpensive once avo season is in full swing. Don’t forget to
consider the wind – fish and chips are significantly less satisfying
when covered in sand.
Just being outside, period. Gone are the days of burning through
your power bill with mid-winter movie sessions. The sunshine will
alleviate most of your dependency on power, so take advantage
of it. Store the heater away, only use the computer for work, and
spend all of your free time lying on the grass with a book in your
hands – it’s FREE! Surfing, swimming, and sunbathing (responsibly)
are also cheap activities and oh so much better for the soul than a
10-kill streak on COD.
Heed this call: Summer is basically the only time of year you can
cut down your boring expenses without feeling a pinch. The only real
appliances you need are a fridge/freezer, a stereo, and a barbeque,
the last two you can probably nick from a friend or family member.
Save this extra dough in prep for next year, go nuts on Christmas,
or treat yourself for getting this far through your degree alive. It is
surely something to commiserate – I mean, commemorate.
PHOTOGRAPH: ASHLEIGH MATTHEWS
32 nexusmag.co.nz

nexus magazine
PARIS FASHION WEEK
A Fashionable Lifestyle Jessica Wilson
The final location of fashion month. “Why do all good things
come to an end?” - Nelly Furtado 2006.
70s Vibes. Trelise Cooper is probably smiling like a crazed
rodent in a cheese cupboard right now. Saint Laurent, Emilio
Pucci and Gucci were all heavily influenced by the 1970s.
Whereas Saint Laurent and Gucci were fairly conservative
and customer-focused, Pucci went full on sex-appeal, featuring
gorgeous gowns, sheer blouses, and a see through,
manufactured-shade-of-orange top that will forever be burnt
into my nightmares. Forever, I tell you.
Dries Van Noten Wins Best Opening. Dries Van Noten's
Spring 2015 begun with models lazing along a mossy forest
floor (actually a patchwork carpet created specially by artist
Alexandra Kehayoglou). Only the soft sound of chirping birds
could be heard as the models sat in their respective places
with delicate, motionless expressions. Trippy.
Pseudo Feminism. Karl Lagerfeld’s Spring 2015 collection
for Chanel ended with a ‘feminist’ protest. Models carried
signs with such poorly devised slogans as “Boys Should
Get Pregnant Too,” “Tweed Not Tweet,” and “Ladies First.”
Lagerfeld, the originator of such quotes as “these are fat
mummies sitting with their bags of crisps in front of the television,
saying that thin models are ugly,” and “no one wants
to see curvy women,” seemed to be using the current social
media interest in feminism as an excuse to gain publicity and
be on trend. Choke on your dick, Karl.
Jean Paul Gaultier Leaving Ready-to-Wear. Now if you
want a feminist male designer, Gaultier is it. Stating at his
Spring 2011 show, “what counts is personality, there is not
just the one form of stereotyped beauty.” His shows always
included women of colour, as well as the occasional plus-size,
pierced, tattooed or older model. Although his designs were
often of questionable taste (think Madonna’s infamous cone
bra), Gaultier was an icon of 80s and 90s fashion. Thankfully,
Gaultier will still be doing Haute Couture, “throwing away the
cake and keeping the icing,” as Rick Owens put it.
Kimye. Kim strikes me as the kind of person who eats mayonnaise
from the jar, whereas Kayne seems like the type to
use facial moisturiser on his body. Kimye were the highlight
for many at Paris Fashion Week, except the photographers
at Lanvin who booed and hissed at them when they arrived
late. Awesome.
33

nexus magazine
MENTAL HEALTH
Louise Vs. The World Louise Hutt
I bought Laneway tickets today, also known as my hipster certification
for 2015. (What? You didn’t know being alternative was
regulated?!) It’s been a long time since I really looked forward to
something but I’m finally starting to live month to month, year to year,
rather than the day to day struggle that poor mental health confines
you to. When I think about how I have survived four years at university,
living one day at a time, I’m genuinely surprised I didn’t try to kill
myself more than I did.
A lot of people are affected by mental illness, a lot more than you
would think. Mental illnesses aren’t something which magically affect
some and not others. Poverty is the leading cause of mental illness
(you can thank the World Health Organisation for that fact!) and anyone
who has worked a shitty job, been unemployed, had any kind
of serious financial instability can attest that having money worries
definitely impacts your mental health. The World Health Organisation
also states that living in a community without social equality (whether
EXPIRATION
Sweet Tips Sweet Painted Lady
“I JUST WISH, INSTEAD OF HAVING THESE
CONVERSATIONS IN HUSHED TONES WITH
PROMISED SECRECY, THAT THEY COULD
TALK ABOUT IT PUBLICALLY.”
Spring is the perfect time to give your makeup drawer a clean
out! Check those expiration dates, remove any products that have
split, dried up or changed in smell. While expired cosmetics may not
make you sick they can lead break outs or skin irritation so use this
handy guide to help sort your cosmetics out.
Look at each item and check if it is marked with a “Y” Year or a “M”
Month – If a product is labelled as “3M” the products estimated
expiry is 3 months after opening.
Foundations – 6-12 Months, remove if observe any change of smell,
colour or the oil splits from the foundation.
Concealer – 1 Year
Mascara – 3 months – Will often dry up or change in smell.
Liquid Liner – 6 months
Lip Gloss – 18 months
Lipstick – 2 Years
Eye Shadow, Powder Blush – 24 months
Remember that expiration dates are a guideline. Shadows, lipsticks
etc can be extended by practicing good hygiene- so avoid sharing
your lipsticks and gloss.
sweetpaintedladynz.com
it be racial, sexual or gender-based) makes it incredibly difficult for
high levels of mental health to exist.
Two of my friends were hospitalised recently, and another I had to
call, terrified after a cryptic message they left me, to reassure them
that life is worth living. Every single one of these friends has told me
about their struggles with the opening phrase, “so you know how you
did/said/wrote that thing about you having depression?” I just wish,
instead of having these conversations in hushed tones with promised
secrecy, that they could talk about it publically. Unfortunately
every one of my friends who has struggled with it has mentioned the
stigma, the same road blocks on the way to recovery. “I told so-andso
and they told me to stop being so ‘crazy’”, etc etc etc.
Getting to the point where you have no qualms about openly talking
about mental illness mostly comes from telling people who do
shame you, put you down, or promote stigma to fuck off. Like literally.
Flatmate who told me to “get over” my brother committing suicide?
Cool, get out. That’s not to say having battles with mental illnesses
makes me the greatest friend in the world, but it’s about knowing that
people won’t make you feel worse when there are already a thousand
other things pulling you down.
I’m pretty fucking proud of myself for making it this far. I look forward
to the future because I know it will be okay, and I truly believe
if I can get that far, so can everyone else (yes, YOU!).
34 nexusmag.co.nz

nexus magazine
NEXUS & CLUB AWARDS
James Raffan
Last week shortly after we went to print the Nexus staff joined
with the WSU to celebrate the achievements of our clubs and
Nexus writers. By now there should be an endless cascade of
embarrassing photos of people who are a little drunk. In all likelihood
they will be the Nexus writers as people from our clubs network
drink responsibly and aren’t plagued with the same social afflictions
and deep seeded issues as writers. Please feel free to check them
out on the WSU Facebook.
Through some extreme stealth work and a little theft we were able
to get the list of award winners in advance so we can publicly congratulate
them in the magazine. I really hope they haven’t changed
tonight...
Congratulations to:
The Waikato Tramping Club, winner of Sports Club of The Year.
The Chinese Student Academic and Cultural Club, winner of Cultural
Club of The Year.
CS3, winner of Academic Club of The Year.
Waikato University Gardener's Club, winner of the Lifestyle Interest
or Activity Club of The Year.
Waikato Boardgamers Club, winner of the Rookie Award.
Dr Sam Sarjant, winner of Services to Clubs by a University Staff
Member.
Moses Simpson, winner of Services to Clubs by a Club Member.
Waikato University Cook Islands Assn (WUCIA) for International Cook
Island Language Week, winner of Best Club Event.
Carrie Swanson - Postgraduate Student Association, winner of the
first ever Club Legacy Award.
Waikato Psychology Students' Association (WPSA), overall award winner
for Club of The Year 2014.
And the winners of the 2014 Nexus Awards are:
Best New Writer: Jules Craft.
Best New Concept: Peter Donauf.
Best Feature: “Don’t Trent On Me” by Rose Bear Don’t Walk.
The Tony Arkell Award for Most Consistent Contribution: Zac Lyon.
Best Writer 2014: Jessica Wilson.
35

nexus magazine
SNAPPED
36 nexusmag.co.nz

nexus magazine
Snap nexusmag your shenanigans! The best
snap each week (printed with the Burgerfuel
logo on it), wins a voucher from our mates.
Claim it from the Nexus office at SUB.
37

nexus magazine
Blind Dat
BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE BANK AND 97.8 THE EDGE. EACH WEEK NEXUS ATTEMPTS TO MAKE A LOVE/
SEXUAL CONNECTION. IF YOU'RE KEEN FOR A DATE ON US, EMAIL EDITOR@NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ
XX
THE LADIE'S EXPERIENCE
XY
THE GENTLEMAN'S EXPERIENCE
Running fashionably late I walked briskly in the door my
eyes searching for a guy sitting by himself. Heart fluttering
I found one of the waitresses and explained the situation;
half expecting her to say I was crazy and the whole thing
was a hoax but she smiled at me and pointed discreetly at
'the guy' sitting patiently by himself. She asked if I wanted
a drink first but figured I could meet the guy without the
help of alcohol. Walking over to the table he stood up and
shook my hand, unfortunately it wasn't love at first sight,
but he looked like a nice enough guy. We ordered, deciding
we would make the most of the $150; ordering all
three courses, wine, coffee and cocktails the works. We
had a few good laughs, discussed some mutual friends
and had the odd awkward moment. The food was great
and so was the service! It ended with the exchange of
numbers and him walking me to my car sorry guys not
exactly a hot n steamy, raunchy date nothing scandalous
to report, no quickies in the bathroom or him taking me
back to his, we had a one armed hug and I hopped in
my car.
Over all had a good night, cheers The Edge!
On a typical Tuesday afternoon while at work and didn’t
expect this to happen that I have a blind date tonight. Only
told a few people I know and even my boss to warn her
that I maybe late in the morning. Almost forgot about it
after work so my trusty old pals decided to remind me
after work.
Thanks HOMIES!!. Got home and got out of the jandals
and shorts, and put on my snazzy shirt and jeans.
I’m a man of punctuality, so I arrived 10 minutes early. I
was offered a shot by the sister behind the bar, but I coolly
declined. After a few minutes waiting by the fireplace, I
was joined by a lovely, good-looking blonde girl. After the
initial nerves subsided and our food was ordered, conversation
really started to flow.
She was very outgoing, confident, and laid back kind
of girl. We talked about things we had in common.
Interesting things such as travelling, what we do on our
free time, and food, plus some other things like saving up
and work, and to the downright scary things like mutual
friends were discussed. Luckily, the mutual friends we
have hold decent opinions of me (I think...).
We started to wrap up the night with cocktails and shared
dessert. After more conversations, I decided to ask her
if she would do this again in and around her own spare
time. So, an exchange of numbers and to meet up again
was made.
38 nexusmag.co.nz

nexus magazine
PHOTOGRAPH: CAM ROBINSON
#ADVOCACYFORLYFE
AMBER CARDALE & LAURENCE MCLEAN
—
In the final instalment of ‘Serious Shit 2014’ we bring you some advice on how to get re-entry into University next year and a few final tips
for the year. If you get a letter saying you have not been granted automatic re-entry into Waikato then this column is your one stop shop to
get that shit sorted.
If you aren’t granted automatic re-entry then the first thing to do is draft a letter explaining why you haven’t done as well as you could
have, what university means to you, why you want to stay at university and what you plan to do to make sure you pass next time.
#wehavetemplatesforthis
Sit down with a student advocate to go through with your letter and look at the structure, content, and what you could possibly add.
#dontputhashtagsinyourletter
Send your letter into the University for consideration for your re-entry.
IMPORTANT! Whatever you do, whatever happens that dampens your performance in any way, please try to go to your exams! Come and
see us if there are any problems before or after your exams.
The Advocacy Service is open all through T and S semester to support you. So come and see us. We are nice. We promise. #welivehere
Laurence’s final thought for the year: It feels like only a year ago, when I started at the WSU, that I was a chipper young 23 year old student
about to complete his final year. Oh wait, it was. Now I’m a chipper young(ish) 24 year old about-to-be a former student. Apart from being
older and now unemployed, I also have some great memories and experience to take with me, and have hopefully helped out a few of you
along the way. Thanks #amberscool, Pene, Dave and the rest of the crew for making it a great year, teaching me heaps, and generally being
awesome. Love you homies.
Amber’s final thought for the year: This time of year is stressful, you have the last of your presentations, tests and assignments coming up but
it is important to have some ‘me’ time. Some choose to take a walk, some even get a stress ball. I personally like to take time away from the
stresses of life by having a Big Mac combo upsized to large with a glass of wine. However you may do this, your mental health over this time
is important. Mental Health Week was a reminder of this. Find out what your relaxing activity is and schedule times to do this over study week.
Contact: advocacy@wsu.org.nz or 027 2065 011. Or make an appointment at wsu.org.nz
39

nexus magazine
STICKY PECAN
CINNAMON ROLL
Cooking for Students Zac Lyon
They have magical powers; after eating I can promise you they will
make you feel smarter, until you realise that you are in the same
position you were before you made them, if not worse off. They may
attract ‘study friends’, who you should not consider true friends, they
are only here to steal your notes and baking!
Ingredients
2 cups of milk
½ cup oil
½ cup sugar
2 ½ tsp yeast
4 cups of flour
½ cup additional flour
½ tsp baking powder
½ tsp baking soda
2 ½ tsp salt
225 g of butter
¾ cups sugar
2 Tbs cinnamon
1 cup pecans nuts (chopped)
½ cup corn syrup
2 tsp vanilla extract
Directions
01_ Pour in milk, oil, sugar and yeast and heat in a pot or
microwave until just lukewarm.
02_ Add in the flour and mix like a crazy person until a sticky
dough forms. Rest for 1 hour.
03_ Add in ½ cup flour, along with powder, soda and salt, mix
and turn out onto floured surface.
04_ Roll the bad boy into a rectangle about 30 inches wide and 8
inches long (use a measuring tool, a similar length body part
will not suffice).
05_ Melt 113g of the butter and mix cinnamon and sugar into a
dry powder.
06_ Paint the rolled dough with butter, then sprinkle over sugar/
cinnamon mixture.
07_ Roll tightly, so you have a 30 inch long cinnamon roll. Slice in
1 inch circles.
08_ Melt remaining butter in pan, add pecans, syrup and vanilla
and heat until bubbling occurs.
09_ Spoon in 1 Tbs of syrup into each muffin hole (muffin tray), add
in sliced rolls. Press down.
10_ Bake for 15 mins until golden and cooked through. Allow to
cool and enjoy.
Good luck with your exams and have a safe holiday, hopefully I’ll see you
scallywags next year.
41

nexus magazine
Codewords
Each letter in this puzzle is represented by a number 1-26.
Crack the code to solve the crossword.
KenKen
Sequence
The bolded groups of squares are called “cages.” In the
What shape comes next?
upper-left corner of each cage, there is a “target number”
and a math operation. Fill in each square of a cage
with a number between 1-9. The numbers in a cage must
combine—in any order, using only that cage’s math operation—to
form that cage’s target number. You may not
repeat a number in any row or column but you can repeat
a number within a cage. Example: Your target number is 5,
your operation is addition, you’re using the numbers 1–9,
and the cage is made up of two squares. You could fill in 2
and 3 (because 2 + 3 = 5) or 1 and 4 (1 + 4 = 5)
Syllabic
From the following syllables and clues, form
ten words of a least two syllables.
a - a - a - al - ca - com - e - go - i - ic - la - lif
- mi - mo - mous - mu - mu - nar - ni - ni - nil
- nu - on - pa - pat - pro - pul - ril - rit - sa - sar
- se - syn - ta - tel - ti - tion - tion - ty - u - y - y
1. Small details:
2. Process of changing:
3. A region in southern Argentina:
4. Producing in large quantities:
5. Pertaining to the lungs:
6. An established procedure:
7. A soft drink similar to root beer:
8. Mental infirmity of old age:
9. Equivalent in meaning:
10. The transmission of information: Draw answer here.
Sudoku
Enter numbers into the blank spaces so that each row,
column and 3x3 box contains the numbers 1-9.
EASY
MEDUIM
HARD
42 nexusmag.co.nz

nexus magazine
Target
How many four (or more)
letter words can you make
from the letters in the
square without using proper
nouns? Each word must
contain the centre letter.
Crossword
Solve the clues and fill in the words.
Answers for this crossword are in the online magazine at nexusmag.co.nz.
Across
33. Wrong (9)
69. Hoard (5)
15. Dialects (7)
50. Advocate (9)
1. Vegetable (7)
35. Lower limit (7)
70. Pragmatic (9)
17. Lackadaisical (7)
51. Villain (9)
5. Blandished (9)
38. Skilful (5)
72. Dig (5)
20. Hazard (4)
53. Hindered (7)
9. Titled peer (5)
39. Up-to-date (6)
73. Accumulated (9)
21. Bills (8)
55. Immediately (9)
13. Remember (9)
40. Fraudulence (6)
74. Superimposed (7)
22. Income (7)
56. Quarry (4)
14. Units of time (5)
42. Ringlets (5)
23. Disregard (6)
59. Exchanged (7)
15. Escapade (9)
45. Not paid on time (7)
Down
25. Female singing voice(7)
60. Ignited (7)
16. The study of insects(10)
47. Inventions (9)
1. Theft (7)
27. Insanely irresponsible(7)
63. Male relative (5)
18. Ship’s steering
49. Memory loss (7)
2. Implied (5)
30. Leave out (4)
65. Become liable to (5)
device(4)
50. Phsically strong (6)
3. Without bounds (9)
32. Detested (5)
66. Dexterous (4)
19. Cautious (7)
52. Grain store (4)
4. The night before (3)
34. Perfidy (7)
68. Indicating maiden
22. Entourage (7)
54. Candidate (7)
5. Weariness (7)
36. Synthetic fabric (5)
name (3)
23. Lands surrounded by
55. Cake topping (5)
6. Dull pain (4)
37. Type of horse (7)
71. Whole (3)
water (7)
57. Freight (5)
7. Cease-fire (5)
39. Security interest (4)
24. Piece of furniture (5)
58. Reproduction (7)
8. Similarity in appearance
41. Tremendous (8)
25. Rescued (5)
59. Patron (7)
(11)
43. Teller (7)
26. Mythical beast (7)
61. Irritated (7)
9. Month, in short (3)
44. Part of a poem (6)
28. Olfactory organ (4)
62. Tight (4)
10. Gained (9)
46. Abashed (11)
29. Lets in (6)
64. Cut (10)
11. Equipoise (11)
48. Conceited (11)
31. Nipped (7)
67. Held sacred (9)
12. Adolescents (9)
49. Wondrous (7)
43

Summer School
T Semester runs for six weeks, starting 10 November
and is the perfect opportunity to catch up on your
study, take a step ahead, or build on your strengths.
We offer T Semester papers across a wide range of
subjects – including online papers.
Enrol now to make this summer count.
waikato.ac.nz/go/summerschool
Become future-ready faster and
get an edge over your competition.
Postgraduate Study
We offer a range of postgraduate programmes
designed to help you fast-track your career, change
direction or enhance your employability. Find out
more at our Postgraduate Information Session:
Wednesday 15 October
1.15pm – 1.45pm
S.G.01, Ground Floor, S Block
A
A.G
A
A.G
A

A.G.M×A.G.
.G.M×A.G.M×A
.M×A.G.M×A.G.
A.G.M×A.G.M×A
.G.M×A.G.M×A
.M×A.G.M×A.G.
A.G.M×A.G.M×A
.G.M×A.G.M×A.G
×A.G.M×A
A
the second WSU
ANNUAL GENERAL
MEETING
WEDNESDAY 15 TH OCTOBER
1PM IN L.G.01
Business to be conducted includes:
• Presentation of the audited accounts
• Presentation of the annual plan and budget
• Approval of membership fees and directors
honoraria
• Appointment of the auditor and the solicitor
• Ratification of the ballot carried out at the
recent SGM